flightsofangels



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    “I’m sorry,” Shane said, almost stumbling over the words to get out the apology. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t hold it.”

    Ilya took his jaw in his grip, forcing his head up so they were looking at one another. He studied Shane’s face, and in doing so forced Shane to study his own expression. It was as gentle as it was exacting, merciless. Ilya's gaze stripped Shane down to something raw and needy. A thrill of anticipation, or perhaps fear, dripped down Shane’s spine.

    “My poor sweetheart,” he purred finally, cruelly. “Have I spoiled you so much that you can’t even hold for a few hours without a leak?”

    Ilya takes full control of Shane, his bladder, and all its consequences.

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    13 Jul 2026

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    “Hey,” Hollander says softly, settling a hand on Ilya’s back.

    Ilya turns away and fixes his gaze on a spot of chipped paint on the wall, trying to will the moisture trailing down his cheeks back into his tear ducts. “Sorry,” he whispers, shaking his head.

    He can’t actually remember the last time he felt so utterly mortified. This is not at all what he’d envisioned happening when Hollander asked for his room number. He’d guessed that a conversation was on the horizon; Ilya had just imagined it happening after he reminded Hollander exactly what he’d been missing while he was off being Rose Landry’s boyfriend. But no, Hollander always wants to clear the air, always needs to fucking talk, even though Ilya never has the right words for him.

    “Hey,” Hollander says again, somehow even more tenderly.

    The bed shifts, and suddenly Hollander is crawling into Ilya’s lap and cradling Ilya’s face in his hands and kissing him.

    (or, filling in the blanks between Ilya crying in Shane's arms and the bed being absolutely wrecked in the last shot of that scene)

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    13 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    CBC News Archives | July 2005

    Mini-Doc: Meet Ottawa’s 14 year-old hockey phenom, Shane Hollander

    [Video - 3:26]

    -

    The video has been over for long enough that his screen has gone dark, but Ilya is still stuck staring at the device.

    He hasn’t let any tears spill over yet, but god, he’s going to cry.

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    08 Jul 2026

  4. Public Bookmark 15

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    Lily stopped. Shane knew she would. It didn't make sense that she started crying, tears streaming down her face.

    Lily grabbed her jaw, squishing her cheeks painfully.

    "I thought you said you didn't care. I thought you said you didn't need it."

    "I don't know what I need," Shane whimpered. You do.

    She didn't say the second part out loud, but she got the feeling she didn't need to.

    \\\

    Jane Hollander is the best hockey player in the PWLH and the perfect, feminine, straight, good girl of the league.

    Unfortunately Jane is not real, and the more time Shane spends around Liliya Rozanova, the harder it is to pretend she is.

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    07 Jul 2026

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    Ilya’s heart is breaking. He doesn’t want the first thing he does, the very first thing, after Shane’s choices have been so brutally ripped away from him, to be something Shane is begging him not to do. But Shane is seriously injured, much beyond what they can handle with first aid at home or even if they found a discreet doctor to make a house call. He will need an MRI, a broken bone set, probably surgery. And evidence should be collected too, for the police. That part Ilya will not push him on. But he cannot let Shane risk his life for his pride and the fear of shame that has controlled him for so long. “I am sorry, moy lyubimyy,” Ilya says, “So sorry. But Marleau is calling ambulance, and you are going to the hospital.”

    ***

    Shane and Ilya are spending Christmas together in Boston during Ilya's last season playing for the Bears. They're finally out, and they're in love, and soon they'll only live two hours apart.

    When Shane is assaulted, the plans they had built for their future collapse. Now the road ahead is a long, grueling process of physical and psychological recovery. What they had before-the sex, the playful power exchange, the easy trust-is gone, and they have to build something new, together.

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    07 Jul 2026