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Mi media naranja. Half an orange, right? Like—two sides of the same coin, or something. A complementary coupla guys. A little silly, maybe, referring to a grown adult as a piece of fruit, but the sentiment is sweet enough.
“Hey,” Buck asks the girl beside him. “Um, Alba. She called Rosie ‘mi media naranja’. Like—half an orange? Is that a common saying in Mexico?”
“Oh, sure,” she nods. “It’s a pretty normal term of endearment. Cheesy as hell, but, well.” She gestures at where Eddie and the two women are sitting. Alba’s holding Rosie’s hand now. “When you’ve known each other that long and fit together that well… it’s just sweet.”
My most best friend. That’s what Alba said. That’s—well, that’s who Eddie is to him, essentially. And if what Eddie’s missing is a little affection in a language that feels like home, well. Buck can give that to him.
or, buck notices the lack of spanish terms of endearment in eddie’s life since his abuela died. so, he’s armed with what he’s been reliably informed is a totally normal thing to call your buddy. Operation Make My Best Friend Feel Cherished, as he’s named it on a trial basis in the privacy of his own head, is a-go
Bookmarked by humanedisaster
19 Jun 2026
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"That is. Okay. Where do I start." Pushing off the counter — hands need to be free for this. "Number one. That is not how being secure in your sexuality works. Number two. That is the opposite of how it works. Number three. Most straight men who are secure in their sexuality do not, as a method of confirming this, seek out gay sex. That is— Eddie, that is gay. The thing you are describing is gay. The act of doing it is gay. There is no version of this where you end up more straight at the other end."
Eddie scoffs. "You don't know that."
"I do know that."
"You don't."
"Eddie, I am bi. I have personally conducted this experiment. The results are in."
Or,
Eddie asks Buck to fuck him to prove he's straight. Things go about as well as you'd think.Series
- Part 1 of veni, vidi, vici
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,297
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 186
- Kudos:
- 3,419
- Bookmarks:
- 690
- Hits:
- 29,411
Bookmarked by humanedisaster
18 Jun 2026
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“Do you think he knows he's in a tragedy?”
Hawkeye has a habit of walking into BJ’s classroom mid-rant and expecting him to keep up. BJ got used to it by the second week of September. Now, he doesn’t even look up from the paper he’s grading.
“Who?”
“Hamlet!” Hawkeye scoffs, waving his arms. “Hamlet! Who else?"
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a beejhawk teacher au
Bookmarked by humanedisaster
15 Jun 2026
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(to date the most popular thing i've done, tumblr mirror here)
Adrenaline puts Chuck in an uncomfortable situation, and Mike accidentally makes it worse (read: better).
"He is straddling the gearshift and his hand is on his hip, oh God, this can’t get worse."
Bookmarked by humanedisaster
14 Jun 2026
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“Never have ever I kissed someone in character,” Mike says, and laughs triumphantly when everyone else groans and drinks.
“We’ve gotta change that sometime, Smiling Dragon,” Chuck grins, and Mike’s heart goes hot and sharp in his chest all of a sudden.
Bookmarked by humanedisaster
13 Jun 2026
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When Mike and Chuck fight, the entire city knows.
Bookmarked by humanedisaster
13 Jun 2026
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It starts with Mike wondering how else he could make Chuck scream, and it's all downhill from there.
Bookmarked by humanedisaster
13 Jun 2026
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What's shocking is that Riz is still here, perched on Fabian's shoulders for everyone to see. Fabian is normally so careful about who sees them together, he'll probably be really embarrassed tomorrow when he sobers up and realizes what happened.
or:
fabian is trying to be a better friend and riz is confusedBookmarked by humanedisaster
11 Jun 2026
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Their usual sleepover night starts out normally, getting ice cream at Basrar’s with their friends, riding the Hangman back to Fabian’s house, greeting Cathilda on their way up to the bedroom.
“Well The Ball, what shall it be? A movie? I can have Cathilda send up some snacks. Or maybe we could-”
“We should have sex,” Riz blurts out.
*Record scratch*
Riz and Fabian's first time in ~10K or less
Series
- Part 3 of demisexual riz oneshots
Bookmarked by humanedisaster
05 Jun 2026
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Riz Gukgak and the Case of the Secret Romantic Notes by fangirl_squee
Fandoms: Dimension 20 (Web Series)
13 Mar 2022
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Riz has a mystery on his hands: who keeps leaving notes in his locker and, even more mysteriously, why?
"It's probably a secret admirer," said Gorgug.
"My main theory right now is that it's an assassin of some kind," said Riz.
Bookmarked by humanedisaster
05 Jun 2026
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Eyes narrowed, slitted pupils so thin they could pick a lock. Wide, fin-like ears pressed flat back against his head—'airship ears', Adaine had said once, and it made Riz laugh so hard he had forgotten what he had been reacting to in the first place. Tail thrashing back and forth, making a rhythmic thwick thwack against his legs, or his briefcase, or both. Extra-sharp teeth bared wide, hissing with a confidence he didn't have in freshman year.
Riz's threat displays were hypnotizing. Fabian almost forgot the punchline of his own joke.
Bookmarked by humanedisaster
04 Jun 2026
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- Words:
- 22,573
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 1
Bookmarked by humanedisaster
04 Jun 2026
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“Benjamin Franklin Hawkeye Pierce,” BJ croons in your ear. “So quick to offer your food and your socks and your opinions. I wonder what other intimacies you would offer if I asked,” he breathes as your toes curl in your regulation boots.
“Which ones did you want?” you answer, wow, so stupidly, so incredibly stupidly. BJ smiles at you, his expression almost wolfish, and you shiver. It feels like you’re in a daze, like you’ve entered a mirror universe where BJ looks and talks even more like a pinup holo than usual.
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In which BJ starts losing some of that steely Vulcan control, and Hawkeye pokes his nose in places where he only technically belongs.
Bookmarked by humanedisaster
31 May 2026
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“We can make it a game, for old time’s sake. Tell me three things about yourself, but make one of them a lie.”
AKA a story told through storytelling, and how the truth is usually (but not always) easier to swallow if it tastes like a lie. Featuring M*A*S*H unit sleepover shenanigans, BJ goes to Maine, and BJ’s Complete Lies.
Bookmarked by humanedisaster
29 May 2026
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Hawkeye gets a letter from Trapper. It's all downhill from there for BJ, particularly when he and Hawkeye are sent out on an ill-fated supply run.
BJ stands carefully, adjusting his helmet on his head as walks around to inspect the damage. Both the front tires are burst. They only have one spare. “Damn it,” he says. “Bad news for your blisters. Looks like we’re walking.”
Hawkeye doesn’t reply. He doesn’t come up from behind the jeep, either.
Alarm bells ring in his ears. Something’s wrong.
Bookmarked by humanedisaster
22 May 2026
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Just before Eddie tells Buck he loves him, he’s pretty sure they’ve been building up to this for months. Just after Eddie tells Buck he loves him, he realises he’s deeply misunderstood this entire situation.
And Buck? Well, Buck didn’t even think they were dating.
(Aftermath, and then: the road less travelled, with the benefit of hindsight.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,490
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 113
- Kudos:
- 1,768
- Bookmarks:
- 375
- Hits:
- 22,235
Bookmarked by humanedisaster
18 May 2026
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“I’ve never—with a trans dude. Am I doing it wrong?”
Of course, he knows. Of course, despite Eddie trying to push through it, like he always has with sex, Buck notices.
Eddie feels bad, feels like he’s ruining the mood, feels—guilty. Shameful. For being greedy. For being picky. It feels good. It’s objectively good. It’s with Buck, anything would feel good; he shouldn’t be so wrapped up in the specifics.
“Buck, it’s okay, just—” Eddie props himself up on an elbow, hand moving to knock Buck’s wrist away before guiding it by the wrist to rest on the outside of his thigh. “Don’t worry about it. Just fuck me.”
Buck’s thrusts come to a halt completely. Eddie groans, his pussy clenching around Buck’s dick.
Buck studies him for a beat. “Do you want me to not worry about it ‘cause you just wanna get fucked, or because you don’t want me to feel bad? ‘Cause I’m not gonna feel bad, Eddie. I-I wanna make you feel good.”
This is a lot of talking, and Buck is still nestled deep inside him, cock stretching him out. It's hard to focus.
“Tell me how to make you feel good,” Buck all but pleads. “Teach me.”
OR learning how to fuck your best friend
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,186
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 62
- Kudos:
- 1,407
- Bookmarks:
- 196
- Hits:
- 12,389
Bookmarked by humanedisaster
18 May 2026
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"I am confused,” says Torse, because he is. “Why would Maxwell have a personal investment in my gender?”
“Because he-” starts Olethra, but Marya cuts her off.
“I think this is a conversation for you to have with Gotch in your own time, Torse,” she says. And then “Olethra, stop meddling. You know the rules.”
Olethra pouts. “Fine.”
Torse is barely paying attention to her. There is the palest, prettiest red flush across the bridge of Maxwell's nose, bringing attention to a small white scar on it. He doesn't know the rules that Marya is talking about, but doesn't much care, too distracted by following the pink curve of Maxwell's ears with his gaze, the way his brown-black lashes frame large dark eyes.
Bookmarked by humanedisaster
16 May 2026
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Maxwell has done this before - knows the feeling of hands on his waist, of strong thighs trapped between his own, the smell of sweat and traces of cologne and cigarettes smoke and men. He's never done it with someone made entirely of cool, smooth iron, though. Not with someone who he cared to see the next morning, with someone he cared so deeply about the opinions of.
Bookmarked by humanedisaster
16 May 2026
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amourissima (you used to call me comme ça) by beetlesandstars, kryptonian
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
29 Mar 2026
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“Buck, seriously.” Eddie catches his eye, staring intently, attempting to beam the anxiety straight into Buck’s brain. “I know we’re both playing it cool, but… How are you not freaking out right now? I’m freaking out right now.”
Buck quirks an eyebrow. “I thought you didn’t panic.”
“I don’t,” Eddie insists. “But I woke up in the wrong body this morning, and I had to—” He lowers his voice, ducking closer to Buck. “I touched your dick, man. Which—you know.”
A violation of boundaries. A line that can’t be uncrossed. Something Eddie feels deeply guilty about.
“You touched my dick?” Buck asks, approximately one billion decibels louder than necessary.
The room around them stills.
Or: Buck and Eddie switch bodies. Chaos ensues.
Series
- Part 15 of ejo + 911
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 26,685
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 124
- Kudos:
- 2,681
- Bookmarks:
- 547
- Hits:
- 24,452
Bookmarked by humanedisaster
11 May 2026