jeeps



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  1. Rec *

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    Summary


    Shane: Hello?
    Unknown Caller: Is this bird professor?
    Shane: …uh yes?
    Unknown Caller: Cool. Do humming birds have legs?
    Shane: What?
    Unknown Caller: Do humming birds—
    Shane: No, I heard you. Yes they have legs.
    Unknown Caller: [loud cheering in the background] I win! Thank you bird professor.
    Shane: …uh you're welcome?
    Unknown Caller: Goodbye.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,418
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    258
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    23 Jun 2026

  2. Rec *

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    "We should – in the shower, maybe? The water would cover up any…” Hollander clears his throat awkwardly. “Noises.”

    Ilya stares at him. A thoroughly entertained grin spreads slowly across his face. “Noises,” he repeats.

    Hollander opens his mouth, closes it again. His lips are so swollen. Ilya wants to bite them. “Well, do you want him to hear everything?” 

    “You think walls are made of paper?” Ilya asks incredulously.

    “I’m just saying…”

    Ilya’s voice drops into a low, teasing purr. “You are telling me you can’t control yourself, Hollander, is that it? Now that you don’t have cock in your mouth, you will be too loud. You are worried you cannot keep all those pretty moans to yourself?”

    *

    Or: Shane's worried they'll be overheard in room 1221. He has a very sensible solution. Ilya has other ideas.

    Language:
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    1/1
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    19 Jun 2026

  3. Rec *

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    Shane’s brain cycled rapidly through a half-dozen celebrities, porn actors, Grindr profiles, every attractive bartender who’d ever served him a beer, trying to find a comparison for this level of outrageously concentrated beauty in one person, but he was drawing a blank.

    The man—Ilya Rozanov, Facilities Attendant, his badge read—gestured around the supply closet. “I help you find something?”

    --
    Canon-divergent AU set during the 2017-18 MLH season. Shane Hollander doesn’t have a single Cup to his name when he meets a very hot and very annoying janitor who works at the Metros stadium.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,863
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    1/1
    Comments:
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    16 Jun 2026

  4. Rec *

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    Never mind the next two weeks, the next eight hours stretched endlessly in front of him. He had no idea how to occupy his time. His house was basically empty, which sounded sad but was really a good thing, evidence he’d built himself the life he wanted – where he always had something to do, outside and with other people. Ilya had been restless for as long as he could remember, had never been able to sit still. He’d gotten in trouble for it as a kid at the dinner table and he got in trouble for it as a full grown man on the team bus. He’d gotten in trouble for it when the doctors had been trying to take the x-ray, his leg jumping without his permission.

    Ilya gets injured, stops leaving the house, loses his mind, learns to read tarot, and sends Shane Hollander a lot of photos.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,008
    Chapters:
    2/2
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    11 Jun 2026

  5. Rec *

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    “So,” Yuna says, as she polishes off her third glass of cabernet. “When are you boys going to get started on kids?”

    Shane chokes on his tiramisu.

    -

    Or: Maybe Shane doesn’t want kids.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,627
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
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    Comments:
    316
    Kudos:
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    11 Jun 2026