lilhumanoid
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Recent works
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Mortal Things (or, Jamie Needs To Piss) by lilhumanoid
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
15 Jul 2026
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Summary
It's the party's last night in the Shadow-Cursed Lands. They defeated Ketheric/Myrkul at last and will head to Baldur's Gate in the morning as the Shadow-Curse clears, but first, everyone needs to rest. Astarion's feeling sleepy and light and playful, optimistic even, while Jamie's feeling... a need.
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"There is no part of Jamie that still loves the person Astarion became. But once upon a time, Jamie loved the person Astarion was. Jamie also loved a cleric who was finding herself and a tiefling who wanted to live and a young man who missed his father. Now all of them are, in different ways, gone.
That doesn't mean Jamie wants to fucking kill them."
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Twenty years after the Absolute's defeat, Jamie receives an order from their patron to kill Vampire Lord Astarion, which forces them to return to Baldur's Gate from Waterdeep for the first time. But their former lover isn't here—the Crimson Palace seems deserted. They can think of only one person who might know where Astarion is: a certain Dark Justiciar they fell out with two decades ago.
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Summary
Dalyria's experience during Astarion's year in the coffin. She wants him free for a few Very Normal, Very Good reasons, and she's willing to risk a lot to make it happen.
Series
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Ballroom Blitz by lilhumanoid
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games), Forgotten Realms (Roleplaying Game)
24 Jun 2026
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Summary
There's a gala at the Szarr Palace tonight, and Astarion is being punished.
Neither of these is particularly unusual.
What is unusual, though, is the guest list. Dalyria has discovered plenty of strange names, including a group of vampire royals and a number of devils straight from the Hells. What is the Master planning?
Astarion doesn't know, and he doesn't care. He just needs to tailor the Szarr family's outfits and seduce as many partygoers as possible so Cazador may finally allow him some blood. All he must do is turn off his thoughts, give the guests a night to remember, and move on. It's utterly routine.
Or it should be. But nothing is ever so straightforward when devils and vampires mix.
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[Title from 'Ballroom Blitz' by Sweet - ofc]
Series
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To Be Known and To Be Tasted by lilhumanoid
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games), Forgotten Realms (Roleplaying Game)
20 May 2026
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Summary
"So you're telling me you wouldn't rather put your shirt back on and, like, go for a walk with me?"
The truth is, there's something deeply wrong with Jamie.
And unfortunately, Astarion is utterly fascinated by whatever that is.
***
Jamie Cross sees through Astarion's nice, simple plan in the forest that night. Astarion doesn't know what to make of someone turning him down.
Not that he's ever known what to make of the blood sorcerer/warlock who's leading this party.
Tonight, Astarion gets to know and taste Jamie in an entirely different way than he expected.
Recent series
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House of Hungers - Szarr Palace Vampire Spawn Sibling Stories by lilhumanoid
Fandom Baldur's Gate (Video Games), Forgotten Realms (Roleplaying Game)
28 Jun 2026
Summary
Exploring Astarion's pre-tadpole (un)life in the Szarr Palace and his relationships with his "siblings." Sometimes lore-accurate, sometimes headcanon-based.
My headcanons for the other six spawn are here: https://www.tumblr.com/lilhumanoid/805833267202998272?source=share
- Words:
- 26,651
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 2
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- Words:
- 544
- Works:
- 2
Recent bookmarks
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souls unbodied, bodies unsouled by arenathesia for colossalflea
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
19 May 2024
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Summary
There were so many things to hate about Cazador Szarr that if Astarion took the time to sit down and list them out, even his eternal youthful glow and rakish charms would wither and rot before he reached the end. And that would only be counting the general things, the things anyone could hate him for: the scathing critiques, cryptic orders, and ruthless command that made him one of the worst managers to be under in the entire industry. But for Astarion, he’d need another lifetime to list out the reasons why he hated Cazador in a way no one else had or could.
Bookmarked by lilhumanoid
17 Jul 2026
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Summary
A series of mini-fics written for the BG3 Pride Month 2026 event hosted by worfrozhenko on bluesky/worfs-glorious-hair on tumblr! The event had 8 prompts themed after the 8 colors of Gilbert Baker's rainbow pride flag and their meanings, so I wrote a little fic for each one. All fics also have some in-game photos inspired by the story attached.
Each fic is focused on the relationship between Gale and my OC, Elenion—mostly during their life as a married couple, but two of the fics have flashbacks to the game timeline and the last one ("stars, bright as memory") is set a bit earlier, while they're engaged but not married yet. "the night doesn't break" is the only one that contains smut, and it's very light on actual graphic detail.
- Words:
- 9,797
- Works:
- 8
- Bookmarks:
- 1
Bookmarked by lilhumanoid
14 Jul 2026
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The Hand That Feeds by baldurs-gape (connorssock) for Faetality
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
28 Nov 2023
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Summary
Cazador gets his hands on Astarion and punishes him by pulling out his fangs. It's up to Halsin, Gale and the rest of camp to find a solution to help Astarion survive being unable to feed.
Bookmarked by lilhumanoid
10 Jul 2026
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Summary
The Royal Baldur Ballet's upcoming season is poised to be the most dramatic yet. With seven gorgeous ballets to stage, first soloist Astarion Ancunín is convinced this will be the season he finally shines bright enough, worthy of the rank of principal dancer. Enter Wyll Ravengard, stage left, and everything is about to change.
~*~
Wyll Ravengard is most definitely not an apprentice. Astarion knows that name, Wyll Ravengard. He won the Prix de Lausanne five or so years ago, the most prestigious competition for ballet students. Even as a student, it was clear that Wyll was going to be the ballet world’s next big star.
And now he’s here, in Astarion’s barre spot. In his rank.
Series
- Part 1 of grand adage
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 188,699
- Chapters:
- 34/34
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,707
- Kudos:
- 767
- Bookmarks:
- 152
- Hits:
- 26,485
Bookmarked by lilhumanoid
29 Jun 2026
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Summary
Gale is determined to bake Astarion a holiday cookie he can actually eat. Astarion gets a bit emotional about it.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,752
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 25
- Kudos:
- 80
- Bookmarks:
- 9
- Hits:
- 627
Bookmarked by lilhumanoid
16 Jun 2026