lilyfarfalla



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “You don’t mind, do you?” Shane asked, before he could stop himself.
    Ilya looked at him like he’d said something stupid. Shane cringed. “No, it is good for me,” Ilya said, his lip curling up. “Healthy competition.”

    After Sochi, Shane starts sleeping with another man. After Vegas, he picks back up with Ilya, too.

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    12 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane Hollander is a man who thrives on structure, routine, the solid ground of a ten-year plan. Ilya likes that about him, likes the embracing squeeze of having a life organized in tandem with Shane.

    No one would call Ilya a man who thrives on structure. But it’s there, if not in his DNA then in the patterns of his brain. A call-and-response of: they do this, I do that.

    When Ilya’s life is flayed open for the world to dissect, how will they push-and-pull their way back towards what was once a well-organized life?


    “I thought we could go through the schedules and figure out what days we’ll be in the same cities this season, or when either of us have a couple of days off in a row. Maybe make a shared calendar, so we c—”

    “A sex calendar? Your parents are arriving in thirty minutes, and you are proposing making a sex calendar?” Oh, this was delicious. He’d be able to eat out on this for years, if Shane was willing to give him that long.

    “It’s not a sex calendar! It’s just … when we might be able to see each other,” he finished, already sounding defeated.

    “And what are you planning on doing when we are seeing each other? Not fucking?”

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    02 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane should be here right now, should be in Ilya’s house. Ilya should be teasing him about being picky while going through delivery options for food on his phone. Shane should be discovering that Ilya has ginger ale in the fridge and the protein bars Shane mentioned liking in an interview in his pantry. He should be making out with Shane on the couch, sneaking a hand into his pants, teasing him about whether they can beat the deliveryman and arrive before he does. Shane was supposed to spend the night tonight, the Montreal team not set to leave until tomorrow afternoon because of potential bad weather in the morning. Shane should be fed and showered and ready to curl up in bed with Ilya tonight.
    But Shane is in a hospital.

    And Ilya is here.

    He pulls up Jane in his phone again. He presses call.

    “Hey, you’ve reached Shane Hollander-”

    Ilya closes his eyes and lets Shane’s voice roll over him.

    (canon divergence in which shane getting injured happens during a game in boston) (...which means shane then gets to go home with ilya to recover)

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    28 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    “You…wanted to see me?” He asks, barely resisting a wince at how awkwardly it comes out. “After yesterday-” He stops, swallows.

    Hollander makes a face–one of Ilya’s favorite faces, in fact–that says he’s a little embarrassed about what he’s about to say. Ilya feels his chest go a little tighter, wondering if Hollander has had time to reconsider, if he’d even planned to reach out after the game, apologize for spooking and running, ask to come ba-

    “Did something…happen yesterday?” Hollander asks.

    Ilya stares at him.

    (the accident that takes shane out for the season happens the day after the tuna meltdown) (...it also takes his memory of the tuna meltdown with it)

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    27 May 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    It’s like they’re in a fucked up game of relationship chicken now, increasingly doing things together that Shane can’t describe as anything other than domestic and romantic and boyfriend-like. They text constantly, detailing their days and sharing everything from complaints about teammates to jokes about other players in the league to the kind of quiet worries about family that don’t need to be responded to, just heard by another person.

    Or maybe it’s like Schroedinger’s cat. As long as Shane doesn’t ask, doesn’t speak out loud, he can have this. It can exist, and it cannot exist at the same time as long as Shane doesn’t press too hard. Doesn’t want too much.

    It feels increasingly like agony now that he’s realized that he loves Ilya.

    ...

    Tunameltdown AU where Ilya makes him tuna melts and says his name and Shane doesn’t freak out and run away. Well, he does freak out, but he also stays. Or the one where Shane doesn’t realize that Ilya’s his boyfriend for a solid three months.

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    25 May 2026