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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    He thinks about next year, and the next, an entire lifetime of summers stretching ahead of them just like the road in front of him. Ilya and Shane in the car, until their licences have been confiscated by the government, eyesight failing and cataracts developing, forcing a nameless son or daughter to drive them instead, Ilya bitching about them sticking the speed limit.
    Nothing lasts forever, he knows, not this drive and not the next, but he thinks he might love Ilya until the day he dies.

    -
    In 2016, Ilya fucks a man in an alleyway outside of a LA club.
    In 2018, photos of Ilya Rozanov and an unidentified man are leaked to the press.
    Someday soon, Shane Hollander will come out. It’s inevitable, like a sunrise coming over the dark horizon. But in the meantime, he crosses an ocean, cleans graves, plays dress up with Svetlana Vetrova, gossips about boys and thinks about love. Not necessarily in that order.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,635
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    132
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    783
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    19 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Here are some facts:

    Six months ago, Ilya and Shane sat on Ilyas’ couch, in Boston, and said, we want to be more, even if it has to be in secret.

    Four months ago, Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander bought new houses. If asked, they would both say it was a complete coincidence. They were not asked, because most people do not browse Zillow for fun in their free time (Shane-) and the real estate of hockey players was of very limited interest to even the most hardcore fan.

    Two hours ago, Shane Hollander was bleeding out on the ice.

    Yuna and David Hollander were at least three hours away, at the exact moment their son hit the ice. Yuna Hollander is a perceptive woman. If she enters the house, she will know her son does not live alone.

    Here is the most important fact Ilya knows right now: Shane would not want to come out to his parents like this.

    Ilya has one hour to wipe his existence from his boyfriends’ house.

    Language:
    English
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    Chapters:
    1/1
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    19 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    And he couldn’t stop thinking about it, going around and around in circles in his brain, how he wanted to be himself, faggy little Ilya, who wore adidas and also maybe mesh crop tops (maybe with an ear piercing? He’d always wanted one), and danced in gay clubs and made friends with nice people with coloured hair, and walked in pride parades, and held hands with a Shane-Hollander-shaped boyfriend, out in the daylight where everyone could see, and how he couldn’t do any of that while he played hockey, but he loved hockey too, loved bashing guys into the boards and spitting blood, loved the red of it, loved talking absolute shit, loved being an asshole, loved racing Shane across the ice, loved the scratching noise skates made on ice, loved his boys, loved it all, but it wouldn’t love him back unless he made it love him back.

    Sometimes he just wanted to be Ilyushka, the boy who danced with his friends and lay on beds, talking about nothing. The closest he felt to that kid was when he was with Shane.
    -

    Ilya Rozanov, what do you want? And how are you going to get it?

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    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,563
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    137
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    523
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    101
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    19 Jul 2026

  4. Public Bookmark 18

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    clinical depression sucks, having a dead mom sucks, you can't just go from being two closeted goo-goo-ga-ga in love hot bitches captaining opposing teams to two out lovers working together on the same team where one of you is captain and one of you isn't without a few menty bs. but luckily you reeeeally fuckin love each other, so.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,608
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    30
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    169
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    18
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    1,080

    18 Jul 2026

  5. Public Bookmark 66

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    "I have to go soon," Shane rasped. He was wearing a Dynamo sweater even though he had plenty of his own clothes here. Sleep still clouded his mouth.

    Ilya could have done anything then. Said he needed sleep. Gone to kiss Shane where the hoodie string had left an imprint across one cheek. It wasn't a free day for Shane. At best they had an hour.

    Instead he said, without any conscious thought at all: "How did he fuck you?"

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,213
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    60
    Kudos:
    690
    Bookmarks:
    65
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    5,093

    18 Jul 2026