mataydood



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane Hollander woke up early on the morning of the MLH Awards. He went for a run. He had lunch with Hayden Pike. He kissed Ilya Rozanov in a bathroom. He fucked Ilya Rozanov in his hotel room.

    Shane Hollander woke up early on the morning of the MLH Awards.

    Again. And again. And again.

    (Shane relives the 2014 MLH Awards over and over again. Alternative title: Shane Hollander learns to ask for what he wants.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    46,125
    Chapters:
    27/27
    Comments:
    1,086
    Kudos:
    1,324
    Bookmarks:
    342
    Hits:
    28,820

    26 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark 35

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    Summary

    Shane Hollander knew that this thing he had with Ilya Rozanov couldn’t last. There were a thousand reasons why he should walk away and never look back. But maybe hope was enough of a reason to stay. And maybe he wasn’t the only one hoping they could be something more than what they were.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    55,889
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    76
    Bookmarks:
    35
    Hits:
    2,201

    24 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    This thing that they have—whatever the hell it is—it’s good. It’s easy. It feels like the only thing keeping Ilya afloat sometimes.

    He can’t let it get to a place where it’s more than just a good, convenient fuck and some fun teasing in between. Even if sometimes, in brief moments of tenderness, it already feels like it’s more than that. Or at least like it’s something that can be, if they just let it.

    But they don’t. They can’t.

    Although sometimes, Ilya does find himself giving in to the urge to look at Shane just a little bit longer, to let his touch be just a little bit gentler, more reverent, than what it would be for something as casual as they claim this to be—albeit sparingly.

    Sometimes, just for a moment, he lets himself indulge. He lets some of that affection bleed out of him because he feels like he’ll implode if he doesn’t.

    But he always catches himself before it can linger.

    ***

    or

    where six months of ghosting is shane’s final straw and he cuts contact with ilya after vegas, tired of the wall that just keeps getting higher each time he tries to chip away at it

    so ilya is forced to reckon with his feelings much sooner

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,174
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    324
    Kudos:
    1,749
    Bookmarks:
    674
    Hits:
    44,694

    24 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane Hollander is the sweet, loyal, quiet househusband omega. His beta husband can't get him pregnant, so he turns to a porn star for help. He discovers he likes a bit of real domination, especially on camera. Over time, their casual arrangement becomes more and more intimate, until they can't deny it any longer ...

    The smut is a vehicle for feels.

    ***

    Fic complete!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    158,224
    Chapters:
    31/31
    Comments:
    1,748
    Kudos:
    1,652
    Bookmarks:
    445
    Hits:
    68,017

    20 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    He figures Ilya would be pretty surprised if he showed up to his house out of the blue. Surprised enough to be put off, probably. Shane is way too bad of a liar to think of any plausible excuse. If this is really happening, if Shane is actually by some miracle getting another shot at this, then he’s going to have to play this smart. His impatience to see Ilya again will have to be tempered. He’s not sure how time travel works, but he has the sneaking suspicion that one wrong move could unravel everything.

    Ilya is alive.

    Just the thought of it is enough to make Shane crack his first smile in a year.

    --

    AU in which Ilya dies in the Centaurs' plane crash. A year later, careless with grief, Shane drives his car into a blizzard and wakes up in Boston, in 2016. When faced with the opportunity to do it right this time, and keep Ilya for good, Shane knows that every decision he makes will be crucial. It's terrifying, but Ilya once told him that he's brave. Now it's up to Shane to prove it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,149
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    284
    Kudos:
    6,224
    Bookmarks:
    1,699
    Hits:
    51,639

    11 Jun 2026