neilistic



Recent works

Recent bookmarks

  1. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Blaise was immune to whatever it was people usually felt around his mother, for which he was profoundly grateful, since no one needed an Oedipal complex on quite that spectacular a scale, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have a thorough respect for her gift.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,057
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    389
    Kudos:
    16,142
    Bookmarks:
    2,673
    Hits:
    202,950

    27 May 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Draco came to, naked, sprawled across the pentagram on the worn floorboards of the inn’s rented room. He lifted his head. His body had smeared the chalk and the salt on re-entry.

    His tailbone hurt.

    His head hurt.

    He was thirsty.

    Draco slowly pushed up to sitting. His wand was in his hand. His whole spine hurt. Something grazed his leg—his head whipped around, making the headache flare. A mouse? A rat? This room was disgusting.

    No—

    Hold on—

    Draco twisted to look behind him.

    F**K.

    He had a tail.

    Draco Malfoy—now an Unspeakable assigned to the Death Room—went to Hell and came back with a tail. Hermione Granger wants to help. Theo Nott doesn’t.

    BEEN TO HELL AND BACK, I CAN SHOW YOU VOUCHERS is inspired by the bureaucratic implications of the titular Lil Wayne bar and me reading three books about Cardan Greenbriar because I thought there would be tail smut.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,758
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    1,102
    Kudos:
    727
    Bookmarks:
    141
    Hits:
    18,673

    23 Feb 2026

  3. Public Bookmark 35

    Tags
    Summary

    Abraxas Malfoy must get married, and sire an heir. He is also in love with Tom Riddle, who does not like sharing.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    42,516
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    55
    Kudos:
    116
    Bookmarks:
    35
    Hits:
    2,037

    22 Nov 2025

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Threatened with the loss of her trust fund allowance, wild child Pansy Parkinson takes her mother up on an offer she can't refuse: a job at the Ministry of Magic as personal secretary to tightly wound bureaucrat Percy Weasley.

    The job is demanding, and so is her boss, in ways that Pansy never could have imagined.

    When their mutual desires begin to spin out of control, how will Pansy convince her boss that sometimes, the only rules you need to follow are your own?

    A loving tribute to the pure and criminally underappreciated magic that is the ParkWeasel ship, and the 2002 film Secretary.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    45,964
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Collections:
    13
    Comments:
    644
    Kudos:
    4,834
    Bookmarks:
    1,914
    Hits:
    139,029

    25 Oct 2025

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    The true Time-Turner was slammed savagely into Hermione's throat. It shattered against her neck, bits of glass and gold piercing into her skin. The last thing she saw before blackness consumed her was a plume of metallic dust and vitreous fragments, tiny prisms dancing behind her eyelids.

    (In which Hermione accidentally ends up in 1950, pitted against an ascending Dark Lord in his prime, caught in the entanglement of pureblood politics, dark magic, and Tom Riddle's interest)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    516,319
    Chapters:
    80/80
    Collections:
    90
    Comments:
    13,654
    Kudos:
    32,455
    Bookmarks:
    7,497
    Hits:
    1,498,004

    17 Sep 2025