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The first match is the hardest, for most of them. They come in knowing it’s kill or be killed, but they don’t understand what that means. No one really gets it, until the bright lights are on, the crowd watching with hunger, and you’re standing across from a boy you might have had lunch with a week ago. It’s him or you, you or him, and you see in his face that desperation to live on, and you know you look the same. That’s when it hits you.
That’s when it hit Jaemin, at least.