owl_lord



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “Ilya,” Hollander breathes, which—Ilya isn’t sure Hollander has ever called him by his first name. Surely he has sometime in seven years of acquaintance? But the sound of it is novel, unfamiliar. 

    And far from unpleasant. 

    Then Hollander says, “Baby,” and Ilya knows for certain that he’s never called Ilya that, because it takes the air right out of Ilya’s lungs and makes his guts twist and fuck, he would have remembered if Hollander had ever called him that. Especially in that reverent tone. 

    It’s nice. 

    Ilya doesn't remember being married to Shane Hollander. Probably, he should tell someone.

    He decides not to.

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    11 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    The first sound Ilya hears is a thin, discordant symphony of beeps and whirs. Something vibrating. 

    The next thing he hears is…wet. A sort of shaking, gargling sound, that feels like the ugliest crying he’s ever heard. And through it, Shane’s voice. 

    “I’m with him now, mom. He’s— he’s not fine. He’s not. I know—”

    Ilya wants to ask who's not fine, but he can’t feel his own body, his mouth, enough to ask.

    “Yeah,” Shane is saying, only slightly calmer. “I know. He wasn’t breathing—"

    Ilya knows there's a link, between the clinical musicality of medical settings, Shane’s audible, awful distress, and his own physical incapacity. It’s just, it’s so tenuous, and the air around him is so thick, so heavy. It would be easy, to sleep, a little. 

    -
    Footage of the last game between Ottawa and Montreal is everywhere; it’s breached containment from the sports world, and now it seems like everyone is baying for Montreal’s blood. Except, Ilya is oblivious. Not exactly blissfully so, but as the fight for accountability within the league rages on without him, Ilya just wants someone, anyone, to tell him what happened.

    Language:
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    90,785
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    12/12
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    31 May 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    January 15, 2017
    For immediate release.
    (English version)

    The Montréal Metros are devastated to announce the unexpected and tragic passing of our beloved captain, Shane Hollander, at the age of 25.

    -

    or, a canon-divergent au in which shane and rose never met, in epistolary format.

    Language:
    English
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    1/1
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    30 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane was fourteen the first time a number felt like safety.

    The nutritionist worked out of an office in Kanata, framed certificates, a calm voice, laminated charts with columns. She explained it simply: fuel in, output required, timing of each. She said it was a starting point.

    Shane took notes in the margins the way he took notes on everything—completely, past what was required. Yuna had found the nutritionist herself, sat beside him, and took notes too.

    Like mother, like son.

    -

    Or: Shane’s system works until it doesn’t; Ilya notices first.

    Language:
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    1/1
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    27 May 2026

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    Shane is in the front pew. His face is—Ilya does not have words for what Shane's face is doing. He has seen Shane angry and afraid and exhausted and soft and undone. He has never seen this: living at the very bottom of a person, surfacing only when every single thing above it has given way.

    This is what it looks like when Shane has nothing left to manage.

    Ilya reaches for him.

    His hand passes through air.

    -

    Or: Ilya Rozanov turns the same age his mother was when she died. Featuring strange dreams, tarot readings, and a woman with her back to him who keeps appearing where she shouldn’t.

    A man who spent twenty years preparing to die, and one husband who refuses to let him.

    Language:
    English
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    36,210
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    1/1
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    27 May 2026