setemipekillmonger



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  1. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
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    04 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Ilya frowned slightly. He felt oddly wrong-footed and no closer to understanding the in-joke everyone else at the table seemed to be sharing. It brought back latent feelings of inadequacy, from years of wading through a language that still didn’t feel like his own.

    “So what then?”

    “What do you mean?” Dykstra looked even more confused than Ilya by now, both Wyatt and Bood seemingly content to sit back and watch this exchange happen, Hazy looking slightly wry and Boodram openly grinning.

    “Like, what makes it special?” Ilya clarified.

    OR

    Ilya learns about the concept of a birthday blowjob and, consequently, how tragically under-blown his teammates are.

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    04 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    The internet thinks Shane and Ilya's marriage came to an end.
    Ilya Rozanov is quick to defend himself and his honor.
    Shane feels the need to intervene.
    Both forget for a moment that they are on twitter and not in a private group chat.
    Harris is losing his mind.

    Language:
    English
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    Chapters:
    2/2
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    04 Jul 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    “You said Rozanov is a great captain,” one of the reporters says, deviating from the usual script. “What makes him one? Do you think he’s better than you?”

    If Ilya was here, Shane would immediately answer with a negative. He would also let Ilya be the one to brag about his many, many accomplishments, and maybe banter with him about who’s got more.

    But Ilya’s not here.

    And Shane is bored.

    Or.
    Shane spends a post game interview explaining that his husband is the best captain in the league and accidentally starts a hashtag.

    Series
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    English
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    03 Jul 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “We do not say anything about the Hollander situation,” LeClaire tells them even though it sounds like he’s already resigned to what he knows is going to happen.

    After all, Roz gets extremely mad whenever it’s brought up. Not that Cliff can blame him, he’s pretty sure that Roz liked Hollander before this (wouldn’t chirp him half as much if he didn’t). Finding out that he’s such a bastard must sting.

    Not to mention that Roz does not mess around with people that disrespect girls. Or women. Or kids. Or dogs. Or the elderly (excluding Scott Hunter). Or really anyone, if it’s for petty stupid reasons.

    “Of course,” Cliff agrees for both of them since Roz is still too busy texting someone.

    It’s apparently not good enough for LeClaire because he asks, “Roz?”

    “Just one second,” he answers without raising his eyes from his phone or stopping his typing. “Need to get my Jane to agree with something. She’s very stubborn.”

     

    Or. My take on the 'their text leak and now everybody thinks that Shane is an abusive bastard' premise. Featuring Ilya giving a presser, Marly realizing in real time who 'Jane' is and the internet reacting to the craziness.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,602
    Chapters:
    4/4
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    Bookmarks:
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    03 Jul 2026