silverlilium



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  1. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    "Must be nice."

    Shane's cheeks hurt from the fixed smile he's been wearing since nine in the morning. He passes a signed photo of himself to the waiting woman with a nod before turning back to Hayden. "What must be nice?"

    "Dude, the line of people waiting for your autograph wraps all the way around the building. Twice." Hayden hands him a water bottle, cap already off. "Here you go. Stay hydrated."

    Shane hides a wince; the slightly warm water tastes like plastic, and it lingers unpleasantly on his tongue. He's been signing for what feels like hours already and the crowd isn't getting any smaller. "Fitness is popular these days."

    "Sure. Fitness." Hayden gives a pointed look to the stack of photos in front of Shane: one set with him smiling awkwardly into the distance, arms crossed in his workout gear, and the other with him leaning against the side of a motel pool the marketing department rented for the morning, towel around his neck. The photographer insisted, despite protests that his workouts have never featured swimming.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,866
    Chapters:
    3/4
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    147
    Kudos:
    685
    Bookmarks:
    146
    Hits:
    10,861

    07 Jul 2026

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  2. Rec 32

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    Summary

    "Ilya's leaned across the railing with a cigarette in his hand. For a moment, they could be nineteen again. The whole of it all laid out before them, waiting to unfold.
    Then Ilya glances over at him, and it rushes passed. All of it—all the years and memories between them. Whenever he looks at Ilya these days, that first split second it feels like looking at someone he loves, someone he'll grow old with. Then his body remembers that's in the past now."

    Shane and Ilya, post divorce and attending one last MLH awards

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,166
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    51
    Kudos:
    273
    Bookmarks:
    32
    Hits:
    2,822

    05 Jul 2026

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    Bookmarker's Notes

    “Whenever he looks at Ilya these days, that first split second it feels like looking at someone he loves, someone he'll grow old with. Then his body remembers that's in the past now.”

  3. Rec 80

    Summary

    they're thirst-trapping each other. sometimes they don't even mean to.

    these don't follow a rigid timeline and are pretty much standalones, though i will try to list them in chronological order. all of these are in the general theme of shane and ilya being forced to see each other everywhere they go even though they only get to actually see each other a handful of times a year. fake idgafers i literally saw you yearning over each other's ad campaigns.

    Words:
    11,101
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    80

    11 May 2026

  4. Rec 82

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    Summary

    Shane wished there was someone to tell him what to do, because he didn’t know. There were no rules for this, no directions, no destination, no future. He felt like he was waiting for something to happen to him. He wondered if he was a bad person.

    Or, Shane embarks on casual sex with yet another Russian.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,884
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    82
    Kudos:
    333
    Bookmarks:
    82
    Hits:
    2,806

    05 Jul 2026

  5. Rec *

    Summary

    Shane Hollander spends twenty years learning to survive masculinity. This is the record of what it takes from him.
    Three parts, covering minor hockey through the outing: the system, the performance, the collapse. And Ilya Rozanov, who was there through all of it.

    Words:
    56,440
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    182

    05 Jul 2026