skepwith

dragon nookie



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    In which Shane Hollander's pubic hair goes viral, the internet colour-matches it to Pantone 15-1214 (Warm Sand), and Ilya Rozanov - creates accounts on Reddit, TikTok, Instagram, Tumblr, AND YouTube to anonymously defend his not-boyfriend's crotch using genetics Wikipedia and advanced hockey analytics.

    Features: a one-star Calvin Klein review ("very poor elastic, ruined my life"), Svetlana and Rose who have never once been wrong, and the most romantic use of the word "melanocytes" in the history of the English language according to Ilya Rozanov.

    Language:
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    1/1
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    11 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “If you don’t come here, I will come to you.”

    “Rozanov.”

    “I will drive,” Ilya tells him without sympathy. “Park illegally in my big muscle car. Everyone will notice. Lots of photos, probably.”

    Shane rubs his forehead. He gets to his feet and glances at his bag, still packed, on the hotel dresser.

    “I hate your car,” he says, at last.

    “Yes, I know,” Ilya says. It sounds like he’s smiling.

    Language:
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    03 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Who.

    Who taught Shane about this.

    Ilya is going to kill someone, and then himself. Not Shane. Never Shane. But he is going to have to kill someone with his bare hands.

    Or: Shane invents advanced blowjob positions with his own beautiful freaky mind, thereby unintentionally turning Ilya into a danger to himself and others.

    Language:
    English
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    27 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    They’re getting into a rhythm now, though, and Shane can see it. He can see this team winning the Cup this year. He tries not to get ahead of himself, tries to stay focused and go game by game, reminds himself that building up a team takes time and several seasons, but god. He wants this legacy: for himself, for Ottawa, for Ilya. For both of them and everyone else.

    Which is why, goddamnit, now is not the time to crash out over fantasies of Ilya working his whole hand down to the wrist into Shane’s ass and fucking him on his fist. And yet. Shane should know by now that timing and “good ideas” are rarely factors in whether or not he gets obsessed with something.

    OR:

    It starts, as a surprising number of things actually do, with a text from Rose.

    Language:
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    23 May 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Hayden cuts himself off at the sound of something he hears so rarely, he’s almost sure he’s imagining it. He scans the room, looking for the source, and sure enough, his eyes land on his target. 

    There, nestled in between two of his teammates on the couch, is Shane Hollander. 

    Laughing. Out loud. Audibly. 

    Like, he’s actually fucking laughing, not the fake laughs he forces out to make other people more comfortable. In fact, he’s laughing so hard, he looks like he might cry, and Hayden would be delighted by the sight of it if he weren’t so fucking concerned. Shane Hollander doesn’t laugh at parties. Shane Hollander barely laughs when he’s actually happy, and he’s never happy at parties. So what gives? 

    Or:

    Shane Hollander accidentally gets very high. That's it, that's the fic.

    Series
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    10 Apr 2026