wits
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Kakashi Hatake decided he had done enough. He hung up the flak jacket, traded his forehead protector for a pharmacy eyepatch, and bought a pair of cargo pants with an unreasonable amount of pocket space. He had a simple plan: grow heirloom tomatoes, read his books, and avoid S-rank missing-nin at all costs.
But there’s a problem. Without a parasitic dojutsu constantly draining his life force, Kakashi is rested, healthy, and dangerously bored. Kakashi is finding that saving the world is a lot harder when you’re trying to stick to a civilian sleep schedule.
Or
Kakashi retires during the timeskip, which somehow changes nothing and everything at the same time
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Bookmarked by wits
04 Jun 2026
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He had considered travel in his retirement plans by NilokSilver
Fandoms: Naruto (Anime & Manga)
23 May 2026
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Maybe he shouldn’t have pushed one of his more volatile students quite so far while playing as Sukea. One moment, he was enjoying a final game of teasing his face before passing the Hokage hat to Naruto; the next, he was in the past, draped in oversized clothes that now felt more like a tent than an outfit.
It wasn’t ideal, but he’d survived worse. His plan was simple: step into his old life, lay low, and figure out a way back to his proper timeline, even if it was the long way. Except... it seemed he hadn’t displaced his younger self. Instead, there were two Kakashis now, and they had to adapt.
The younger Kakashi, sharp-eyed and prickly as ever, clearly wasn’t thrilled by the intrusion. But older Kakashi wasn’t too worried. After all, he’d survived his students—adorable little brats who’d outgrown their charm and turned into forces of nature. Compared to them, his younger self was manageable.
Prickly or not, this kid might even be fun to mess with while Kakashi figured out how to navigate this unexpected hiccup in his retirement plan.
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Bookmarked by wits
04 Jun 2026
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He graduated from the Academy at the age of five. Made Chūnin at the age of six. Promoted to Jōnin at ten. By thirteen he’d earned his bingo book entry, his ANBU tattoo and the moniker Copy Nin (Friend Killer).
By fourteen he had lost everyone who had ever mattered to him.
And now at fifteen he’s being told that he is a father.
Like most things on that list, it was being thrust upon him. Unasked for. Unwanted. Albeit quietly, reluctantly, from the somber arms of a girl he didn’t remember from a night he couldn’t remember– one of an endless string of nights that he could not remember.Kakashi is Sakura's father.
For twelve years he gets to forget that fact.
The past always has a way of catching up.- Language:
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Bookmarked by wits
04 Jun 2026
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Far too young, Kakashi sought comfort in the arms of a civilian girl that smelled nice and just made it easier to breathe. When the consequences get real, he swears to do his best, but with everyone and everything against them, it fall apart. Separation is painful for everyone involved, until his little girl learns the truth. Her pink hair isn't natural and the man she's been calling 'Daddy' is an imposter.
Bookmarked by wits
04 Jun 2026
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He warned them. Repeatedly. Kakashi didn’t want a genin team. Kakashi had no idea of what to do with a genin team. He was self-aware enough to know he wasn’t quite right in the head. He should not be trusted with a bunch of children.
But did the Sandaime hear him? No, because the Sandaime wasn’t Minato-sensei and the old man never listened to him. And he went ahead with the brilliant idea of saddling him with his dead sensei’s son, Itachi’s little brother, and a kunoichi who was so much a cannon fodder that she had a literal target on her bright red dress.
He would not be blamed for the shitshow that was about to start.
OR.
Kakashi only knows how to teach three things: survival, assassination, and pretending to be normal. Good thing that's exactly what his cute little genins need to learn. And if they also learned how to be a family in the process, well, that's just a bonus.
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Bookmarked by wits
03 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Great world building and interesting psychology aspects. Kakashi doubling down on training.