Chapter Text
“So, Harry, do you want to explain why we are propped up against a clear vinyl bra envelope on top of a bed, in a suburban neighborhood in the American Northeast?”
“I don’t know, Sev.”
“And how did we all get transfigured into vinyl figurines designed to be cute? Severus Snape doesn’t do cute.”
“I don’t know, Sev.”
“Perhaps I might be of assistance, Severus...”
“Shut it, Albus, you lost your authority to make me listen to your megalomaniacal ramblings when you made me make you a past-tense headmaster.”
“Sev, does Hogwarts have a holodeck? Maybe he escaped from someone’s simulation..”
“We’ve had this discussion before, Harry, the Room of Requirement is not the original holodeck, it is unique to Hogwarts. If you don’t relinquish this delusion, there will be no more Star Trek marathons.”
“Master Harry loves his Star Tracks, Master Sev. Dobby will iron his ears if Master Sev”-
“Merlin save me from hysterical house elves - Harry, did you do anything before we found ourselves in this predicament?”
“Sev, don’t get mad, but I might have asked the holo-, oops, Room of Requirement, what it would be like if we were like the characters in Toy Story. You know, the movie?”
“YOU. DID. WHAT?”
“I do believe, my dear boy, that the lad’s long denied childhood and his Master of Death status confused the Room, resulting in what we have here.”
“Okay. I’m going to pretend this isn’t the worst predicament ever and ask the simplest question. What do a bra wrapper, and a bedroom in an American suburban setting, have in common with your hypothesis?”
“Young Harry is confused about certain aspects of his life, aren’t you, my boy?”
“I’m going to survey our surroundings, until I calm down enough to refrain from paddling your buttocks, Potter. I would tell you all not to go far, but at four inches, none of us is going very far by foot.”