Work Text:
" You have no value at all."
The words ring in Akihito's head. The words Asami spoke to him before the Hong Kong incident the night they had lustful sex.
He walks down the abandoned streets of Tokyo. It was only him at this time of night. He was relieved to be alone. Not even Asami's goons were following him.
Akihito walks knowing he has been hiding a large and very serious secret. As of late, he was starting to get questioned about it. Today was one of those days and that's when he chose to go for a late-night stroll around the city. Asami had asked if anything was wrong but he just blew the man off hoping to stop any further interrogation.
The secret is something far too common among people.
The secret is... depression.
Yes, Akihito has been battling it since childhood.
It mainly started when his father left him and his mom and only got worse when his grandmother passed.
However, once he got friends like Kou and Takato, he got out of his depressed state. They were always there to give support and comfort but now… now they have their own lives. They can't come to help him at the drop of a hat. Not that he wants them to see him like this. He wants them to see him as the blonde who loves photography and always has a spark in his eye. Not a young, broken man who has become hollow. His only other escape had been photography. It was always fun to go out and take pictures of whatever he could find. Except now, he takes pictures of criminal lowlifes and sees only the darkness in the world instead of the beauty.
He laughs at himself but it comes out pained. Guess that was his own fault for picking such a career.
He continues his way down the sidewalk. He isn't sure what triggered the full relapse. It happened after Hong Kong. Seeing Asami after his time with Fei Long reminded him of what he really was to the man. Just a toy. Once he got tired of the little game they play, Akihito knew he would be thrown out.
He remembers all the things Asami has said to him over the time they were around each other.
"You are mine."
"I hold your freedom in my hand."
"Why am I calling you 'my toy'? Because that is exactly how you are acting."
The list goes on and Akihito doesn't want to think about it.
His phone vibrates, drawing him from though as a text comes through. He pulls it from his pocket and reads the message:
'Going to work. Stay out of trouble.'
It was brief but oddly lifts weight off of his shoulders. He turns around and starts heading back to the condo now knowing Asami wouldn't be there.
He feels something drip down his cheeks. He was… crying?
He went to wipe away the tears but they were quickly replaced by fresh ones. His vision kept blurring as his pace quickened into full-on sprinting. He wanted to lay in his bed and never get up.
Once he reached the large building, he gets into the elevator and rides it to the top floor. There, he exits and makes his way through the front door and into his room.
He sits on the edge of the bed and attempts to calm his pounding heartbeat.
"Okay, Akihito. In," he talks to himself, taking in a long deep breath, "and out," exhaling and repeats the cycle numerous times.
It calmed his heart but did nothing to calm his mind. He still couldn't think right. Everything bad kept popping into his head. He wanted a distraction from the internal pain. He stands and walks over to his night stand. He rummages around and pulls out a lighter. It was kept there for this specific purpose only. His urges have been getting more and more frequent these past few weeks. He just can't keep fighting it. Sometimes he has to give in to the monster telling him to do it.
He strikes the flint against the steel with the flick of his thumb. The low flicker and warmth radiating from it did a little to soothe him.
But it wasn't over.
He waits a few seconds for it to get hot. He pulls his sleeve up. Old marks plague his skin. They have a sickening type of joy to them. Yet it's a horrific reminder of the past. He blows out the flame and hovers the heated metal over the skin of his left arm.
This has been a recurring thing. His arms were littered in old burn scars. Some of them go back to when he was in his early teens. Those had been long since faded and go unnoticed. The ones from a few days ago aren't as unnoticeable. It was only a matter of time before this becomes worse. Before his depression becomes too much to handle.
The thoughts make Akihito's eyes wet with tears. He knew it was only a matter of time before Asami found out. He would probably want to throw him out once he discovers this secret. They haven’t been physical for a while so none of the new marks have been found.
More tears fall and Akihito’s breath hitches.
He yells out in pain as the lighter is thrusted against his skin. The scent of burnt flesh rises in the air.
His eyes are pressed as tight as they possibly could be. The pain was great.
A loud bang causes his eyes to fly open with a startle.
A small yelp of surprise escapes his lips. The lighter is left discarded on the floor.
Furious golden eyes stare down into his frightened hazel ones.
Asami stands in the doorway, clearing looking pissed.
The door itself was nearly knocked off its hinges due to the amount of force that pushed it open.
"Y-you… you said you were go-ing to work!" He stutters.
"I lied, Akihito," Asami hisses, "I knew you were acting strange but I never thought I would find you doing this!"
"It...It isn't like you would care anyway," Akihito defends, "You said it yourself, Asami! I have no value to you! You see me as your toy, your property!"
Akihito climbs onto the bed and hugs his pillow to his chest, his face buried in it, and his knees press as close to his body as possible.
The room fell into an intense silence. Neither wanted to move. Asami knew he needed to be the one to speak. He needed to be the one to calm his lover.
"You're right. You don't have any value," Asami start while keeping at a distance, afraid of scaring his lover. Akihito holds the pillow tighter and presses his face further into it. A small whimper makes its way through the fabric. "Because you are priceless… that is why you don't have a value. None can be placed on you."
Akihito lifts his head a little only to reveal his eyes. They were red and puffy from the crying he was doing all night.
"Your joking!" Akihito hisses, his voice slightly muffled by the pillow.
"I'm not joking. I'm not the kind of man who jokes. I say you are mine because I don't want anyone else to have you. I claimed you all to myself because I'm a greedy bastard who desires something he doesn't truly deserve."
Akihito grits his teeth and throws the pillow at Asami. Akihito begins to yell.
"Why? Why would you want someone as broken as me? You're practically a whole decade too late to save me from breaking!"
"If you claim you are broken, then I will fix you. All you have to do is trust me." He extends his hand out for the blonde to take.
Akihito was crying hysterically and refuses the gesture. Asami didn't let him off that easy. He grips onto Akihito's hand and pulls him from the bed and into an embrace. Akihito's arms reach around to grasp the back of Asami's shirt.
It was warm. A pleasant warmth unlike the lighter. A safe warmth.
"How long has this little habit of yours been going on?"
Akihito grip got tighter, "I… c-can't give you an exact date but this started as a teen. I stopped for a while but then I started again a few weeks ago," he says those words shamefully.
Asami rubs comforting circles into his back.
“Was I the cause of you’re relapse?”
Asami’s words hurt.
“D-don’t blame yourself. I shouldn’t have started again,” Akihito pulls away.
Asami takes Akihito’s chin and gently pushes it up so they were looking at each other. He leans in and places a soft kiss on equally soft lips.
“I’m sorry.”
“Now what are you apologizing for?” Akihito places his hands on either side of Asami’s face.
“I should have done something sooner. I saw all the signs that something was wrong and I chose to ignore them,” He carefully took Akihito’s arms and pulls them from his face before looking down at the damage burned into them. Once Akihito saw what Asami was looking at, he quickly rips his arms away and turns so Asami was facing his back.
“I… I’m sorry… I don’t want you to see what I’ve done.”
“I’m bound to see them eventually. Just show me.”
A large hand places itself on his shoulder. It was enough to tell him that Asami was worried for his well being, but it wasn’t enough for him to show his wounds. He didn’t want Asami to see the number of burns on his arms. He just didn’t want to see the disappointment in his lover’s eyes.
“I can’t Asami…”
The hand on his shoulder falls, “Fine… give me the lighter. From now on, you will have an escort follow you everywhere and I’m going to place a guard in the penthouse while I am gone. You will let me do a full body check on you every night to make sure there aren’t any new marks.”
Akihito whips around, “You can’t be serious! I don’t need to be watched twenty-four-seven!”
“Clearly, you do! I don’t need the added stress. I don't want to come home and find you hurt or worse dead!”
Akihito steps back. He hardly saw this side of Asami. He never shouted in such a way, even when it was deserved. He hasn't shown this much concern before.
Akihito's head fell, "If I show you," his voice just above a whisper, "I don't want an escort or someone in the penthouse. However, you can take the lighter. I don't expect you to fully trust me so I will also allow you to do body checks." Akihito himself didn't know what he might do if he wasn't monitored at least a little.
Asami gave a content yet annoyed sigh, "Fine, but you will receive professional help for this. That part is not up for debate."
Akihito nods in understanding.
He proceeds to pull up the black sleeves of his shirt. He was able to visibly see Asami's face sicken at the sight.
"I'm sorry." Akihito apologizes in a broken tone.
"You could have come to me and asked for my help." He lightly scolds, not wanting to upset Akihito anymore than he already was.
"I want to see everything. Strip."
Akihito flinches but doesn't move. He didn't want to lay bare in front of this man with his scars showing. Unlike his arms, the rest of his body was intact. It had no form of self-harm. That still didn't change the fact that he wanted to keep all his clothes on.
"Are you going to make me undress you myself?"
Akihito shakes his head.
"No! I-I will do it…"
Hesitantly, he removes his shirt and tosses it on the ground before continuing down to his belt. Once the belt was unlatched he pulled off his pants, leaving him only in his boxers. He stood to his full height, arms at his sides.
"I told you to take everything off didn't I?" Asami's arms cross in front of his chest.
"Asami, please let me leave them on. I'm not hiding anything. The only marks I have are on my arms I swear." His body starts to heat up do to the pair of eyes looking at him.
"Do you really expect me to trust you at a moment like this?"
Akihito cringes but doesn't try to make excuses. He pulls the remaining clothing off. He closes his eyes, not wanting to look at Asami. His face flushes as he hears movement in the room. The warmth of a hand trailing around his body made him shiver. First, it begins on his shoulders, then down his arms. His scars were being traced by large fingers. He flinches and hisses as the fresh burn was touched. It had already blistered. Seeing that as a sign to stop searching that part of his body, Asami's hands moved to Akihito's back but they find nothing but pale, smooth, untouched skin. He continue down past Akihito's hips and to his legs. He look for any form of self-harm. Again, he find nothing.
After the body check was done Akihito opens his eyes. He expected to see disgust or disappointment. What he didn't expect to see was a smirk.
"Here I am trying to address this situation seriously and you're here teasing me."
Akihito was puzzled. He didn't understand what Asami was talking about. What teasing?
Asami reaches out. Akihito watches as the hand moves down to his hardened member.
Akihito was shocked! Not at Asami for his actions, but at himself.
He had become completely hard just from a bit of touching. Touching that wasn't even supposed to turn him on.
"Ahh! Asami… nhg… what do you think you're doing… pervert," Akihito gasps.
Asami's hand continues its assault. Akihito can feel himself being pushed backwards. The back of his knees hit the bed and he is pushed into a sitting position. His body is so hot he feels like he's melting. Small moans and gasps make themselves known in the small quiet room.
"Close your eyes again, and only use your other senses," Asmai whispers in his ear before licking the shell of it.
Akihito does as he is told and closes his eyes. He hears the sound of Asami crouching in front of him. His hands travel up the blonde's legs and slowly spread them apart.
Asami licks his lips as he sees the precum drip from Akihito's throbbing cock. Asami places his finger over the slit, smearing the white liquid collecting at the tip.
A moan escapes Akihito's lips as Asami strokes him. It wasn't long before he felt the warmth of the man's mouth over his shaft. At first, it was just the tip being teased, gently being pressed against the roof of the wet cavern. Asami starts playing with Akihito balls, only adding to the stimulation.
"Ahh…sami," Akihito moans.
"Hmm?" Asami questions with Akihito's dick still in his mouth.
Akihito jolts as the vibrations shoot through his body.
"St-op… stop teasing me and just do it!"
Akihito throws his head back out of desperation. He needed more. A lot more!
Asami grins and swallows Akihito's whole member. His head bobs at a steady speed. Enough to give immense pleasure without it being too much.
Akihito's leg snakes up to force Asami's head to keep taking all of him down his throat. Not that Asami minded of course. He loves every second of pleasuring his love. To turn him into a hot, moaning, wet, mess. He wanted to mess up the other man even more.
He pulls off Akihito. Akihito let's out a whimper of disappointment.
"I wanted to hold back a little but it seems you are making that impossible."
Akihito hears the sound of Asami's belt becoming loose and then the zipper of his pants being pulled down.
"Get on the bed. I want you on your back."
Akihito is quick to do what was commanded, getting onto the bed. His body practically begging to be fucked.
“Good. Now put your legs together.”
‘Huh?’ Akihito thought, ‘Together?’
Asami doesn’t wait for him to do as he says this time. Taking the blonde’s legs he hooks both of them over his right shoulder. Akihito feels the wet length of Asami’s cock slip between his thighs. It rubs against his own dick, making him moan in pleasure.
“Asami, what…” he is unable to finish.
“We haven't made love for weeks. Seeing you get hard from my touch is an immediate turn on. Preparing your body will take too long. In all honesty," he looks at Akihito's lewd body," you don't look like you will last much longer either."
"Ahh… nha… made l-love?" Akihito quotes.
"The sex we have is deserving of that title. It isn't only for the physical pleasure anymore. It's the emotions behind it that makes it so damn good."
Asami's dick slides against Akihito's thighs again. Tear filled hazel eyes look down to see the thick member throbbing between his legs. Just the sight made him want to come. The tip was red with it's own precum seeping out. The thought of the white substance ejaculating all over his body made him go mad.
“Asa-ahh! I want to come!” He yells out. His mind clouded with lust makes him beg. “Asami, please touch me! Make me feel only you!"
The crime lord smirks but makes no move.
“You have caused your body so much pain. I want you to make yourself feel good. Touch yourself,” he commanded in a gentle, seductive tone.
Akihito whines. His right hand snakes down his torso. His pubic hair brushes his fingertips as he grasps his hard member. Asami’s cock moves over Akihito’s knuckles causing him to let out a low growl of satisfaction. Akihito uses his other free hand to fondle his erect nipples. Pinching, rubbing, tweaking, anything to feel good.
He was reaching his climax. The knot in his stomach just waiting for release and for the pleasure to flow to every limb of his body. By the sounds Asami was making, it seemed like he was close too. His thrusts become more vigorous and more aimed.
“Asami… nnnahh, I’m so close, Asami. I’m gonna cum!” Akihito’s body shakes violently. He throws his head back leaving out a long moan. Cum spills onto his chest. Asami cock twitches soon after as his seed launches onto the body beneath him. His own moan slips out his lips. He pulls away to let Akihito’s legs drop onto the bed before collapsing beside him.
"Remember this Akihito," His voice calls from Akihito's right, "Never forget this night. Remember what you mean to me. I can't afford to lose you. Never think of hurting yourself again. Do you understand me?"
He pulls Akihito so that they were facing each other. He connects their foreheads while they still embrace.
Akihito hums contently feeling the other man’s semen mixing with his own on his chest.
"Did you really mean what you said? That I was priceless to you."
He pulls Akihito closer.
"I meant everything I said. You can never have a price placed on you."
"Then I'll make a promise to you and myself to never burn again."
Akihito knew he could keep this promise. It wasn't one of those false promises he's told in the past. This time he had a real reason to stop. He now knew how Asami felt. They share a common feeling of love towards each other.
Who would want to hurt themselves knowing that it hurts the one you care about.
Burning was no longer his escape.
Asami was.
And he was glad for that.