Chapter Text

Prologue

You’re back. I guess the story of the Missing Mammal Massacre sold a lot of subscriptions to your blog or whatever it is you write for. Carrots didn’t get too upset with me for telling what happened. Yes I know there are still questions lingering about that case, and while I have my suspicions, I've been told that I can’t comment about ongoing investigations. No that is not cover up for not knowing what the hell is going on!

The Arcane? Really? You write for that trash? Well I guess they can get something right every so often. You are changing my name as agreed, right? I mean, I wouldn’t want any of this to fall back on Carrots or myself.

I will say that having a steady paycheck is a pretty sweet gig. The hours kinda suck sometimes but can't win them all, right? Of course I'm right. But having a steady paycheck means also having consistent meals, which is nice. My hot water is still working, much to my surprise. I honestly think Karma is rewarding me with that bit of comfort; or maybe it's for my lapine roommates? Either way I’m not questioning it. Just like I’m trying not to look too much into why they are still there instead of staying in the literal lap of luxury. 

What's it like being ZPD’s on staff wizard? Well I have been informed by Mammal Resources that Hawaiian shirts are not considered professional attire. Plebeians . At least they didn’t try to tell me my staff wasn’t needed equipment, I mean who are they to tell me what I do and don’t need to cast a spell? What could they possibly know about magic? Nothing that's what! On the bright side, Bogo seems content to let me bill them for my expenses on spells. I’m sure the mammals down in accounting are having a field day with receipts for table salt and calk from the dollar store. 

Judy is back to being my personal demon in a whole new way: exercise. While I'm not being held to the officer fitness guidelines she seems hell bent on making me able to pass their fitness test anyway. I’m not really complaining though, as it does let us spend a bit more time together, along with other fringe benefits. 

Sorry, I know I'm rambling a bit; it's just this last case was a mess in more ways than one. And just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, it did . It just goes to show there is no problem so bad that you can’t make it worse.

Oh, you want to know how the dinner date went? Well I guess that's as good of a place as any to start.