Chapter Text
Wei Wuxian gasped awake to find himself wet, uncomfortable, and in pain. This is not how he remembered falling asleep. He remembered being wrapped comfortably in a silk comforter, snuggled on the warm chest of his husband. In spite of the many years he had living in relative peace, Wei Wuxian was not terribly shocked at waking to find himself in pain and a unknown place. He took a mental stock of his body, noting the burning pain on his chest, the cuts on his hands, the bruises that covered his back and shoulders. Had he been kidnapped again? But no... He also felt something else. Something good. So, despite the uncomfortable environment, Wei Wuxian stared down at himself in wonder.
He felt an almost-forgotten warmth surging through him. His shaking hands covered his abdomen, and he gasped again. He had a strong Golden Core. He closed his eyes and tested his connection, pulling the energy from the Core and letting his power flow through his body and dance around his fingers. It reaction was so much stronger and more playful than the core he fell asleep with, the core that was leftover from when Mo Xuanyu occupied his body. His old body, he corrected himself, because this was his Golden Core, strong and playful, in what seemed to be his first body, from his first life. How did he get here?
He felt tears threaten to spill over, and he didn't worry about fighting them. He knew that fighting them would cause him to spiral out of control and launch him into a shuddering panic attack. So he let the tears fall. He was cold and in too much physical pain to deal with that right now, so he paid them no mind. Lan Zhan could--
Wei Wuxian's eyes flew open, panicked now for a different reason, "Lan Zhan!" He called, running an internal monologue. He knew his husband was more than capable of taking care of himself. He knew he could. But the more he thought about it, the more the reality of his situation hit him, the more the anxiety in his throat grew.
If he was alone then Lan Zhan would be searching for him, or Lan Zhan was by himself too, possibly hurt, with no one to help him if he needed it. If he wasn't alone, then Lan Zhan was somewhere in this cave with him.
"Lan Zhan!" he called again, to hear an answering groan around the corner. He rushed forward and stopped when he saw the state of his husband.
Wei Wuxian took in several things simultaneously. His husband, his Lan Zhan, did not look like the Lan Zhan who was collapsed in front of him. This Lan Zhan was so young. He looked like a teenager again! And, oh god, memories started to come back to him. The pain on his chest, the tattered, damp of their clothes, the homemade brace on Lan Zhan's leg, the pure white of his clothes, as opposed to the blue his husband currently preferred.
"Oh god," his mind already started to supply theories, but he let it work in the background, first and foremost he needed to take care of Lan Zhan. He reached him quickly, crossing the cave floor and kneeling beside him. Wei Wuxian gently picked up Lan Zhan and moved them both, so he was leaning against the wall and a conveniently placed rock, and Lan Zhan was resting on him. This way Lan Zhan wouldn't be more cold than his body already felt, wrapped in his arms. Passing out on the ground sapped the man of his warmth, he didn't need to fight that as well as focus on healing his leg. Wei Wuxian would take the cold, it didn't bother him as much now that his core was at strength. He hugged Lan Zhan close to him, letting his own energy spread and brush against Lan Zhan's.
Through their connection, Wei Wuxian could feel his husband's spiritual energy flowing through him, silvery blue light concentrating around the still healing leg.
A Golden Core was connected to both a person's body and spirit. A body provided the Core, and the soul, through cultivation, strengthened it. Lan Zhan had been cultivating the strength of his core for almost half a century. As he felt the familiar strength of his husband's energy, stronger now then he remembered it being back when they were seventeen, he hoped it meant that Lan Zhan's soul had come back with him. He didn't want to face the future alone.
Wei Wuxian used his spiritual power to start a fire, feeling a small thrill at how readily his Golden Core responded to him. He made a silent promise to himself that if he was here, back in his original body, that he would change things this time; he would save the people he had failed to save before.
While he dried the sweat off of his husband's forehead and stroked his fingers through the silky black hair he felt that thrill of being in his original body again, using the fingers from his first life to touch Lan Zhan in a way that he never got the chance to before. There was no hint of grey on this head, very different to the salt and pepper look he had started getting used to seeing on his husband.
Wei Wuxian shook his head, obviously he was overly tired and not thinking straight if he was focusing on something as trivial as the color of Lan Zhan's hair. He rested his head back against the rough rock, letting his eyes drift close. He hoped that when he awoke, he would be in bed with his husband, their son knocking on their door and reminding them that Uncle Xichen was visiting today.
A small part of him countered that hope. A part that knew that if he really was back, then that meant that Jiang Cheng hadn't lost his Core yet, Yanli hadn't lost her husband and her life, he hadn't been condemned by his family and ostracized from the cultivation world. If he was back for the foreseeable future, then he had a chance to change things. He could save Jiang Cheng's Core and Lotus Pier, in turn saving his own Core, which he could continue to strengthen, alongside his demonic cultivation. If he didn't lose his Core, it would be easier to hide his demonic cultivation, thus saving him from total exile. Of course, he would save the Wens again, but this time, maybe he could stop them from being hunted in the first place.
He could save his shijie.
He could watch his nephew grow up with both a mother and a father, not just a grumpy uncle and evil grandfather.
He could not lose sixteen years with Lan Zhan.
As he drifted off to sleep, he promised to himself that if he had been sent back in time, sent back to before his fallout with his family and before his death, even if the Lan Zhan in his arms wasn't really his Lan Zhan, he would do everything in his power to change things. To make things right. To fix all his failures before they happened.
Wei Wuxian slept.
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When Lan Zhan awoke nothing seemed immediately amiss. His leg hurt, but he had many old injuries on that leg, so in certain weathers it would ache, which was annoying but not surprising. He snuggled back into the embrace of his husband, twisting his head without opening his eyes to nuzzle at his husband's arm. "Wei Ying," he breathed, testing the waters to see if he was awake.
He knew his husband stayed up late into the night, working hard on a new idea for an array he had. Lan Zhan had kissed the top of his head, told him to join him soon, and went to bed. He remembered waking briefly when Wei Wuxian crawled into the sleeping mat beside him and smiled as he reached out to rest his hand sleepily over his silk-covered chest.
Despite the warm arms of his lover, something felt different. There was a different sort of warmth emanating from him. A fever, maybe? Had Wei Wuxian worked himself to illness again? It would not be the first time, but Lan Zhan hadn't let his husband go that long without taking care of himself for a while now. He turned his face up and opened his eyes to check on his husband, and paused.
"Wei Ying?" He asked in his low voice, no longer whispering, only slightly panicked. This man was not his husband. He was Wei Ying, yes, but he looked so young. The harsh lines his husband's unfortunate history had engraved in his face were absent, he seemed less weighed down, his body not healed because it hadn't been completely broken. And then a different shock ran through his body, this body was Wei Ying. It wasn't Mo Xauanyu's, which, while admittedly similar, was not the exact same as this body. This body was from Wei Ying's first life. How was it back?
Then the rest of his awareness tapped politely on his shoulder and told him everything that he had passively noticed while he was focused on his husband. The first thing was that they weren't in their comfortable and modest home. There were no sounds of chicken in the backyard, no drifting bird song, no sunlight rolling in through the windows.
Instead, they were in a cavern. It was wet, he could hear the sloshing of waters on a rocky shore, the walls glistened and reflected the low firelight that still glowed before them. There was a sodden chill that permeated the air, and his robes were different as well, being tattered, bloody, and still damp.
A memory clicked and Lan Zhan blinked in surprise, he was in the cave that strengthened his and Wei Ying's bond, that changed the way he thought of the man. It was in this cave that he was forced to think about how he felt about Wei Ying in order to keep him alive. After saving him from the resentful sword, Lan Zhan started to realize the strength of his feelings.
He had to remember all the times that Wei Ying had made him happy, had made him feel more than he had allowed himself to feel since his mother's passing. And this was when he realized that this was, maybe, what people meant when they talked about love. This was a cherished memory for Lan Zhan. In spite of the circumstances that led them here, and that would eventually lead them out, he often remembered the care that he and Wei Ying exchanged with each other.
He turned again to look at his husband, and with a shock realized what that extra warmth he had noticed was.
It was spiritual energy, it was Wei Ying's Golden Core. It was back! Or, it hadn't yet been lost? He shifted, moving as best he could, so that he could press a hand against Wei Ying's stomach. He closed his eyes but didn't have to concentrate very hard to feel the gentle hum and playfulness of the Golden Core. It was curious about him but welcoming all the same, like a puppy.
Lan Zhan pressed a hand to his own stomach and focused. His energy was the same as when he had fallen asleep. He watched his spiritual energy, breathing deep to test his body's and his spirit's connections. He felt that his energy focused on his leg which made sense, considering the amount of abuse it had sustained.
He pulled his awareness out and looked around thoughtfully, using the light from the smouldering fire to see.
His energy was stronger now, and fully rejuvenated, unlike the first time he had been thrown in this cave with Wei Ying.
But this all begged the question; how could he be there again? He sat up gingerly, not wanting to wake Wei Ying. He didn't know how he was going to go from years of being in love, of allowing himself to show his love, to having to hide that, not only from everyone around him, but also from his future lover himself. He closed his eyes and sent out a silent prayer that somehow, however he had been sent here, Wei Ying had done what he always did, and found him.
Lan Zhan repressed a sigh, well, they had to figure out what happened. If the man behind him was his Wei Ying, then they had a lot to think about. If he wasn't, well, Lan Zhan remembered how to get out of this cave, and maybe this time he could try to prevent Wei Ying from finding the resentful sword in the beast's shell.
He nudged Wei Ying's shoulder gently, "Wei Ying, wake up."
Wei Wuxian's eyes fluttered open, quickly taking in all that surrounded them. Lan Zhan saw no surprise in his eyes at their predicament, and felt his heart sinking. If he wasn't surprised, then he probably wasn't his Wei Ying.
"Lan Zhan," Wei Ying mumbled, "Is it you? Are you," he paused. He was momentarily at a loss for words; but he remembered that this was Lan Zhan. Even if he wasn't his Lan Zhan, he was still Lan Zhan, and at least he would listen to him.
"Lan Zhan," He started, speaking quickly before he could talk himself out of telling the truth, "I know this might sound crazy, but you have to believe me. I've done this before, this cave, the indoctrination at the Wens', everything. I've been-"
"Wei Ying," Lan Zhan interrupted, and as he wasn't in the habit of interrupting, Wei Wuxian promptly shut his jaws with a click. Relief was evident in Lan Zhan's voice to anyone who knew him, and Wei Wuxian knew him very well.
"Me too," Lan Zhan said, when it was clear Wei Ying wouldn't keep talking.
Wei Wuxian suppressed a sob. He hadn't known how terrified he was of going through all of this alone until he knew he didn't have to. He hugged his husband, because though they were both young again, their souls had been intertwined for a long time. "Thank god," he whispered, "Oh Lan Zhan, thank god. I didn't know if you had come back with me. I don't know how we got here, I swear I didn't do this, Lan Zhan, I promise."
"Wei Ying," Lan Zhan said, understanding and affection clear to Wei Wuxian, and Wei Wuxian breathed another sigh. He believed him.
"We're really here, then? Left for dead in this godforsaken cave by the Wen Chao and his cronies during our indoctrination." Wei Wuxian said, absentmindedly kissing his husband's hand, as he sometimes did when he was thinking hard. "Obviously Jiang Cheng and the others have already escaped. If I remember correctly, we're here for another week or so before they arrive."
Lan Zhan listened, he knew his husband wasn't telling him because he thought he had forgotten, but that this was how he problem solved. Talking it all out, so he could organize it better in his head. He waited.
"Do you think we're here for good, Lan Zhan? Do you think that we have to grow old again? That maybe," Lan Zhan heard hidden hope in his husband's voice and held his hand tighter. Wei Wuxian continued, voice lowered, " Do you think that maybe we can change things? We can prevent our tragedies, save," his voice broke, "Save my sister? Save A-Cheng’s Core?"
"Wei Ying will not sacrifice himself," Lan Zhan said, voice firm, but Wei Wuxian heard the slight tremble. Lan Zhan turned completely on his knees, so he faced Wei Wuxian, ignoring his injured leg and gripped both of Wei Wuxian's hands in his own gripping so firm it was almost painful.
"You will not." He said again, staring hard at him.
Wei Wuxian looked away, "If I have to do it again-"
"You will not."
"But what if-"
"No."
Wei Wuxian didn't answer, and didn't look at him.
Lan Zhan reached out and grabbed Wei Wuxian's chin, forcing their eyes to meet. "I will not abandon you again, Wei Ying. How many times over the years have you said 'what if I had done this?'. Wei Ying, now we can. But our," he paused and corrected himself, "My priority is saving Wei Ying."
His hand relaxed on Wei Ying's jaw and he stroked his thumb across his cheek bone, "I will not ask you to do the impossible, leave your brother in suffering without his Golden Core. But I will do everything in my power to prevent the necessity of your sacrifice."
Wei Wuxian stared at him, mouth slightly agape, Lan Zhan let his hand fall from his face,
Wei Wuxian was about to speak and Lan Zhan shook his head slightly, asking Wei Wuxian to let him finish collecting his thoughts.
Lan Zhan continued, "Which means," his lips tightened, "Our first goal will be preventing the slaughter at Lotus Pier."
Wei Wuxian studied his husband's face, saw in his eyes pain and determination. He knew his husband did not say what he did not mean.
Wei Wuxian did want to add, "And stay together."
Lan Zhan smiled his smile that he only used when around Wei Ying, "Mn," he confirmed. And leaned forward to kiss him.
They kissed for a while, before Lan Zhan's leg reminded him that it wasn't healed yet. Luckily for both of them, the strength of their cores seemed to have returned with a vigor now that their matured souls were occupying their younger bodies. And working together the two of them were able to heal Lan Zhan's leg much better than they could the first time they had gone through this.
"Can you still use demonic cultivation?" Lan Zhan asked of Wei Ying, when they were sitting next to each other, resting after the healing. Lan Zhan slowly worked his stiff and sore leg muscles through warm-ups and testing its current limits.
Wei Wuxian closed his eyes, and slowly nodded. "Yes, I may have my original Core, which, as you know, is much stronger than Mo Xuanyu’s will be when I was called back into his body, but this time I will not lose control. I won't be creating this on the fly this time either, Lan Zhan. I've already developed it. I know what I'm doing."
Lan Zhan nodded, "Mn."
Wei Wuxian shot him his signature smile, the kind that warmed Lan Zhan down to his toes, and made the tips of his ears flush pink.
"Without Chengqing?" Lan Zhan asked.
"I'll have to get a dizi, yes," Wei Wuxian said offhandedly, "But we won't need it to escape this place. And speaking of, it should be easier this time for me to use the resentful sword. It won't be as overwhelming for me, and because I've already practiced it, it's no longer a theory. I'll be able to use the sword without having it use me back." His face twitched into a look of guileless innocence.
But then stretched into a grin, "Heeeeey, Lan Zhan," His voice going high and teasing, "Will Lan Zhan still sing for me? After we defeat the Slaughter Tortoise?"
Lan Zhan nodded once, serious as always. His face had softened over time as he had let go of some of the restrictions he used to hold himself to when he was sixteen the first time, but to the average disciple he was as stony as ever. He will admit that knowing what he knew now, he knew that some things did not matter as much as he used to think they did.
Wei Wuxian smiled and stood, clapping his hands together and rubbing vigorously, "Well, Lan Zhan, no time like the present! Let's get out of this depressing cave first, and find some food. And then we'll plan our next move."
Lan Zhan nodded again and stood to stand alongside his husband. It was time to get to work.