Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Evan Buckley could not clearly remember his life before meeting Bobby and Marcy Nash when he was four.

He could remember the year before that, the year of five different foster families and never quite finding the right fit and always being too shy, too quiet, too standoffish, always waiting, it seemed, for the other shoe to drop and to be shuffled along to the next patiently waiting family who, eventually, would pass him on to the next.

But anything before that was blurry like memories of a dream.

One of those memories though was a little clearer. Of a dark haired girl with a loving smile who would hold him and read him stories. He was certain she was his sister but, no matter how hard he tried to remember, he couldn’t remember what her name was. But he held onto to those fuzzy memories for comfort. He did so more after he was sent back to child services facility by his fifth foster family.

He had been back at the dorm, as the older kids called it, for nearly two weeks when Miss June, one of the workers, escorted a couple into the large common room.

Tucked away in a corner, keeping to himself as he had since arriving back here, he hadn’t paid much attention to the adults. He knew he wouldn’t be picked. No one wanted the broken kids. Even as little as he was he knew that. So he stayed in the corner and just kept reading his book.

So he was surprised when, unexpectedly, the man who’d come in with Miss June was kneeling next to him.

“Hi, there,” the man said with a kind smile. “That looks like a really good book.”

Buck chewed his lip and shuffled back a bit, fingers tightening against the book, his gaze dropping to the page he had been reading.

“It’s Corduroy,” Buck said quietly, voice barely above a whisper, gaze fixed on the picture of the little teddy bear with bright green overalls. “He’s looking for his lost button so someone will take him home and love him forever and ever.”

The man’s smile never wavered but something odd flickered through his eyes as he nodded.

“I don’t think I’ve ever read that one,” the man said. “But it sounds really good. Do you think maybe you could read it to me?”

Buck blinked and stared at the man for a moment.

No one had ever paid much attention to him so he wasn’t quite sure what to make of the man who, despite Buck’s quietness, just kept on smiling.

“My name’s Bobby, by the way. What’s yours?”

Buck chewed his lip for a second before he turned the pages of the book back to the start.

“Evan,” he replied in a still quiet voice. “Some people call me Buck.”

In truth the only person who had called him Buck had been an older boy, Malcolm, who had decided that, given there were three other kids named Evan in the dorm, one of whom was a girl, Buck had needed a way to stand out. Malcolm wasn’t at the dorm any more, he had aged out shortly after giving Buck his nickname and, as of yet, Buck hadn’t really opened up enough to anyone to share the nickname.

The man, Bobby, nodded though, his smile growing just a touch as he settled more comfortably next to Buck.

“Buck,” he said and something about how it was said, all friendly and caring, caused something in Buck to thump funnily. “Well, it’s really nice to meet you, Buck.”

Buck hummed and looked down at the book.

“I can read it now if you want.”

He didn’t see it but Bobby’s smile widened a touch.

“Whenever you’re ready, bud.”

Buck nodded and then, slowly, quietly, began to read the story of Corduroy the Bear and his search for a friend. During the entire time Bobby paid attention, helping him only once when he fumbled over how to pronounce a word, and, for the first time in probably ever, Buck felt seen. He felt, for those few minutes, like he mattered to someone. And he wanted that feeling to last forever.

As he finished the book, Buck looked up, expecting Bobby to maybe look bored or like he was ready to go, but instead he just found that kind smile directed at him.

“You did real good, Buck,” Bobby said, still smiling and that warm feeling spread through Buck again and, desperate to hold onto it, he found words tumbling out of his mouth.

“I can read another book,” he said, gesturing towards the little bookshelf just behind Bobby. “You can pick and…and…and I can read it.”

Bobby’s smile never wavered, if anything it got a little bigger, a little warmer and he half turned, surveying the shelf before picking up one.

“How about,” Bobby said as he turned back to Buck, settling down next to the little boy more comfortably. “This time, I read to you?”

Buck’s eyes widened a touch.

When was the last time someone had read to him? Not helped him to read but actually just read him a story?

He thought of that fuzzy memory, the dark haired girl with the loving smile, and couldn’t help but nod.

“Okay then,” Bobby said with a gentle chuckle as Buck carefully, cautiously, tucked himself in close to the man’s side, head resting against Bobby’s shoulder. “I think you’ll like this story, Buck, it’s one of my favourites.”

Buck felt another shot of warmth as Bobby began to read, the man’s voice painting the story of Ferdinand the Bull with care. His eyes were fixed on the colourful pages of the book, his attention fixed on Bobby’s voice giving life to the story, and he snuggled closer against the man. He wasn’t aware that he had started to doze until a new voice, a woman’s voice, startled him.

“I was wondering where you disappeared to.”

Buck jerked sharply, settling only because Bobby’s hand rubbed over his side soothingly, and looked up to find the woman who had come in with Bobby and Miss June smiling down at them.

“Hey, honey,” Bobby said. “Sorry. Buck and I were reading.”

“I see that,” the woman chuckled and looked at Buck with a smile as warm and gentle as Bobby’s had been. “And you must be Buck.” He nodded up at her and watched as her smile widened. “It’s very nice to meet you Buck, I’m Marcy. Bobby’s wife.”

Buck was surprised when Marcy held out her hand and, though a little wary, Buck reached out to shake it.

“Hi,” he said softly as Marcy knelt down.

“Do you like reading, Buck?”

Buck nodded.

“It helps me learn,” he explained and Marcy nodded.

“Do you have a favourite,” she asked and Buck gave a small nod, reaching down to lightly touch the cover of Corduroy, which he had left on the floor.

“He’s looking for a friend, a family,” Buck explained, missing the look that passed between Bobby and Marcy. “Like me.”

He was surprised when Bobby hugged him but was distracted when Marcy reached out and ran her fingers through his hair, the gesture so kind and loving that Buck immediately leaned into it.

“How about we let Bobby finish Ferdinand for us,” Marcy suggested as she sat. “And then maybe we can pick another book to read?”

Buck nodded eagerly and Bobby chuckled, the sound vibrating through Buck like a hug and his focus returned to the story. They read three more books after that before Bobby and Marcy had to leave. They hugged him, Bobby murmuring a promise against Buck’s hair to be back real soon even as Marcy kissed his temple and told him everything would be okay.

Buck, sad but hopeful, watched them leave while clutching the books Bobby had read to him to his chest.

Bobby Nash looked back at the little boy, Buck, as he and Marcy followed the social worker from the common room and wanted nothing more than to go back and just pick Buck up and take him home right now. Buck was such a sweet little boy and Bobby couldn’t understand how anyone who met him couldn’t immediately fall in love with him.

He was drawn back to the conversation between his wife and the social worker when Marcy lightly touched his arm.

“I saw you seemed to make a connection with Evan,” the social worker, June, was saying and Marcy nodded with a smile as June led them into a small office. “Which, I have to say, is surprising.”

“Why is that,” Bobby asked as he and Marcy sat on the little sofa in the room while June moved to fetch a folder from a filing cabinet.

“Evan has been in five foster homes in a year,” June explained as she opened the folder and looked at the files, not surprised at the way both Bobby and Marcy looked at her. “And in each one there were reports of standoffishness, being withdrawn and general antisocial. And the families just didn’t know how to deal with it or thought there was something wrong beyond their abilities to help.”

“I’m hearing a but,” Marcy said as Bobby took her hand, lacing their fingers.

“But,” June said with a small smile. “There were no reports of violence or outbursts of any kind. In fact his last foster family made it a point of explaining he was great kid just not a good fit for their home. In my opinion, being abandoned the way he was impacted Evan deeply. It’s not that he thinks or feels people don’t care about him it just that…well…”

“He’s waiting for the other shoe to drop,” Bobby guessed. “He’s waiting for them to get tired of him and just leave.”

June nodded with a sorrowful look on her face.

“He really is a sweet kid,” she said, handing the folder over for Marcy and Bobby to look at. “And we really do feel he is a good candidate for adoption, especially considering how he came to be in our care.”

Bobby frowned as he read over the initial police report.

Minor, found alone and unattended at bus depot at 240 E Kellog Blvd on 08/25/1995 at 21:43
Note found in jacket pocket, see attached

Bobby’s frown deepened as he flipped the page and found a photocopy of the note, typed not handwritten, the police had found.

My name is Evan Buckley. I am three. My birthday is June 27. My family cannot take care of me anymore. Please help me.

Marcy, reading over Bobby’s arm, let out a low, angry sound and shook her head.

“Who abandons a little boy at a bus station with just a note,” she demanded and she looked up at the social worker. “Were his parents ever identified?”

“We never were able to find any family,” June explained, sounding as upset over the whole ordeal as Bobby and Marcy felt. “And he was never listed as a missing person and no one ever came forward when we circulated his picture through the local and state news outlets.” June sighed and shook her head. “Breaks my heart when we get cases like Evan’s. The only good thing to come from it is that, usually, after a year, a judge will rule that the child is a permanent ward of the state and we can work at finding a family to adopt them rather than leave them in care long term.”

“Has that happened in Evan’s case,” Bobby asked, getting a knowing and approving look from Marcy, and June’s expression shifted to something a little happier.

“It has,” June said with a nod. “Judge Werner signed off on it three weeks ago.”

“Good.” Bobby looked at Marcy. “What do you think, honey?”

Marcy smiled and leaned into him a bit before looking back up at June.

“I think we need to get some paperwork underway.”

June smiled brightly and nodded, thrilled beyond words at the prospect of a child as sweet as Evan finally getting a real home. She had known and worked with Bobby and Marcy for three years now and she was pleased to be able to help them permanently bring a child into their home. No one, in her opinion, deserved to be parents more than they did. Thankfully, because of their exemplary record and the situation and a kindly judge who would be more than willing to push some paperwork through, she knew it wouldn’t take long for the adoption to go through.

A week, and many visits between the Nashs and Buck, later and Bobby and Marcy took Buck, now Evan Nash, home for good.

Chapter Text

When Bobby and Marcy told him they were adopting him, that he was going to be their family and that they were taking him home with them soon, Buck hadn’t quite believed them at first.

It had seemed too good to be true.

Even the day they came to finally take him home it hadn’t quite felt real.

What made it start to feel real, or at least not so temporary, was when they showed him his room.

It was the biggest bedroom he could ever remember having, with a double bed and a desk and a bookshelf and a massive toy chest. It made Buck’s eyes go wide as he stood there, holding Marcy’s hand, taking it all in with a touch of awe.

Looking up at them, Buck found his voice barely above a whisper as he spoke.

“Is…Is this really for me?”

Marcy smiled and nodded even as Bobby reached down to rest a hand on his shoulder.

“It really is, buddy,” Bobby reassured. “We didn’t put a lot of books or toys in yet because we thought you might want to pick out some stuff yourself.”

Buck looked up at Bobby and then at Marcy, getting a nod from both of them before, slowly, letting go of Marcy’s hand and making his way slowly into the room. The comforter on the bed was a deep shade of blue and had little red fire trucks and a teddy bear, big and cuddly looking, sat by the pillow with a red ribbon tied neatly around its neck. Turning, Buck made his way over to the bookshelf and, the first thing he noticed, was the brand new copy of Corduroy.

He smiled, fingers reaching out to brush against the crisp spine of the book before looking at Bobby and Marcy, still standing by the door, giving him space and time to take it all in. Marcy was smiling that pretty smile and Bobby looked happy. He quickly found himself smiling and, between one heartbeat and the next, he raced to them, trying to hug them both at the same time.

He clung to them, one arm around Marcy’s neck as she held him and one hand clutching at Bobby’s arm as the man moved to wrap his arms around both him and Marcy. All the while feeling and thinking just one thing.

Home.

Life with Bobby and Marcy was, as far as Buck was concerned, the best thing in the world.

Bobby took Buck to the fire station where he worked and showed him the trucks and the gear and he got to slide down the big pole like a real firefighter. Bobby’s boss even gave him a kid sized helmet. Buck had never been more excited about anything. He told Marcy all about it when they got home and she’d smiled the entire time and hugged him and helped him put his new helmet up on the top of his bookshelf.

Marcy spent time helping Buck with his math and spelling and other things she said he would need for school. She got him to help her make cookies or dinner and encouraged him to learn and try new things even when he was scared or uncertain. And when he presented a plateful of cookies he had helped make to Bobby, nervous and a little uncertain, he had been thrilled when Bobby announced they were probably the best cookies he had ever had.

Bobby and Marcy tried to spend as much time with him as they could, he knew that, and he had never felt so loved.

So when Bobby presented him with a brand new bike he had been excited to learn how to ride it. With a bit of help from Bobby, and cheers from Marcy, he was able to zip around the parking lot and play area of their apartment building with ease. It felt like he imagined flying would feel like. And then came the day when he saw the older kids riding bikes without training wheels and the inevitable request to Bobby to take his training wheels off.

“You sure, buddy,” Bobby asked as he set the training wheels and wrench aside, uncertain as he looked at Buck, who looked wobbly but confident though he had yet to try and take off. “It’s okay if you’re not ready.”

“I’m ready,” Buck said quickly, feeling himself wobbly and bracing both feet against the ground. “I’m really ready.”

“Okay.” Bobby moved forward, checking Buck’s helmet and elbow pads were properly secure again. “You can do this.”

“I know.”

Buck’s certainty, and the oh-so-serious look on his face, made Bobby grin even as he felt a wave of uncertainty. What if Buck fell? What if he got hurt? What if this was all too much, too soon? He felt his heart lurch when Buck, without a word, suddenly tried to take off. He made it about two feet before wobbling sharply and toppling over. Bobby flinched and immediately started forward but Buck just bounced back to his feet like he was made of rubber.

“I can do this,” Buck said, though it wasn’t quite clear if he was talking to Bobby or himself.

Bobby nodded reassuringly and watched Buck pick his bike back up, returning to the same spot he’d started and tried again. Only to make it about the same distance before falling again. Each time he fell, Bobby flinched and fought down the urge to immediately check on him because, each time, Buck just bounced right back. Each fall seemed to just fuel his determination to succeed. After the eighth or ninth topple though, Bobby found himself stepping in.

“Okay, bud,” he said, catching hold of the back of Buck’s seat once the boy had settled back at his starting position. “How about we try this? I’ll hold you to keep you steady until you tell me to let go.”

Buck blinked and looked up at him and, in that moment, Bobby saw the small flicker of fear in Buck’s eyes.

“You won’t let go?”

“Not until you tell me to. Promise.”

Buck drew a deep breath and gave a nod, that serious expression once again fixed firmly on his face.

Bobby smiled and drew a deep breath himself.

“You ready,” he asked and Buck gave a firm nod, expression so serious that Bobby nearly laughed.

“Ready.”

“Okay, start peddling.”

Buck drew a deep breath and lifted his feet to the peddles.

It was slow going at first, Buck was shaky even with Bobby holding tight to the seat, but then, a shot of courage, possibly just pure stubbornness, went through him and he found himself saying Let go! before he was probably ready but Bobby listened and let go. He felt the thrill of staying straight, his balance not failing, and he heard Bobby cheering even as the biggest grin of all time split his face.

That grin disappeared through the closer he got to the end of the parking lot. He let of a frightened squeak, barely hearing Bobby’s shouted direction of turning his wheel, gaze fixed on the dumpster that was getting closer and closer and, without much through he jerked the handlebar, bike lurching dangerously but turning.

His shout of excitement was short lived though as, before he could straighten out and ride back to Bobby, he overcompensated to try and regain his balance and went crashing to the pavement.

“Buck!” Bobby felt a sharp bolt of fear shoot through him even as he broke into a run, easily and quickly closing the distance between himself and the little boy. “Buck!”

Buck whimpered, trying to push the bike off his leg, and Bobby hurriedly grabbed the bike, lifting it and practically tossing it towards the grass, uncaring if it was damaged in the process, his whole focus solely on Buck.

“Hey, hey, buddy,” he said, kneeling down, catching sight of the rip in the leg of Buck’s jeans and the blood already staining the fabric. “It’s okay. You’re okay.”

Buck whimpered again as Bobby pulled him into his arms, clinging to the man as he was lifted up and carried towards the building. Bobby kept telling him it was okay, that he’d fix it, make Buck all better and Buck believed him.

Bobby all but burst into the apartment in his hurry to get Buck inside, not caring if the door was shut behind him or not, his sole focus on Buck and only on Buck.

“It’s alright,” Bobby said, heading for the bathroom where the first aid kit was. “Just a little scratch, that’s all. Happens to everybody from time to time. I’ll have you fixed up in no time at all.”

Buck sniffled slightly and scrubbed a hand over his face as Bobby carefully sat him on the edge of the tub before the man moved to fetch the first aid.

Which, of course, was when Marcy appeared in the doorway.

“What happened,” she asked, gaze darting from her husband to Buck and, clearly, seeing the blood she gasped and rushed forward. “Oh, baby, are you okay?”

“Just a bad scratch,” Bobby was quick to reassure, moving to kneel in front of Buck even as Marcy sat on the tub’s edge next to Buck. “Took a tumble practicing without his training wheels is all. Nothing major.”

Buck sniffled again, blinking away his tears, because Bobby kept saying it was okay. Bobby was a firefighter. He knew about helping people who were hurt and if he said Buck was going to be okay then he believed it. Bobby wouldn’t lie.

So he leaned into Marcy, who wrapped her arm around him and pressed a kiss to the top of his head, and watched as Bobby carefully cut the leg of his pants to better examine the scratch. He kept talking as he worked, telling Buck exactly what he was doing and why, and all the while Marcy kept whispering how brave he was as she rubbed a hand over his back.

By the time he was patched up, just a bit of gauze and tape, Buck was feeling much better.

Marcy lifted him up into her arms once Bobby was done, carrying him to his room for a change of clothes while Bobby cleaned up.

“You did so good, baby,” Marcy said, hugging him close as she stepped into his room. “So brave and strong.”

“Do you think it’ll scar,” Buck asked as she sat him on his bed, looking down at the stark white bandage on his leg.

Marcy smiled slightly.

“Do you want it to?” She asked as she got a pair of pants and a t-shirt from the dresser, turning back to him with that small smile still on her face.

“Michael has a scar from playing baseball,” Buck explained as he changed his clothes, handing the soiled and ruined ones to Marcy. “I think it’ll be cool.”

Marcy chuckled, leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead.

“Well I think you’ll look very dashing with or without a scar,” she said and Buck beamed brightly up at her before darting out of the room in search of Bobby, wanting to get back outside and keep practicing on his bike as soon as possible.

Weeks turned to months and, sooner than he’d thought, Buck’s fifth birthday was fast approaching.

When Marcy and Bobby asked him what he’d like for a gift he hadn’t really known how to answer.

What could he ask for that they hadn’t already given him?

He already had everything he had ever wished for.

So, uncertain what else he could possibly want, Buck had asked for an extra family movie night, typically they only did that on Saturdays, with lots of pizza and ice cream. Bobby and Marcy had asked if he was sure that’s all he wanted but he’d simply nodded and repeated his request.

Come the night of his birthday the apartment was decorated with balloons and there was cake and some presents, new books, toys and clothes, and pizza and three different flavours of ice cream. Marcy had picked up the newest Disney movie at the movie rental place and the family of three settled in for a quiet evening together with Buck tucked between Bobby and Marcy on the couch.

The movie was barely half over before Buck was starting to doze off, leaning heavily against Bobby’s side as Marcy pulled the blanket that usually laid over the back of the couch over them all, her hand rubbing gently, lovingly over Buck’s back. With a quiet huff of breath, Buck snuggled closer to Bobby, slowly tipping his head back to look sleepily up at the man.

“Love you, Dad,” he said softly, smiling before turning his head to look at Marcy. “Love you, Mom.”

He turned his attention, much as there was given his sleepy state, back to the movie and didn’t notice the way Bobby and Marcy suddenly looked at one another or the way Bobby’s face lit up while Marcy’s seemed to melt with joy. He also didn’t notice the way Bobby looked at Marcy and mouthed the words He called me Dad! or how Marcy nodded in return with the biggest smile on her face.

He did notice though the way both Bobby and Marcy hugged him a little tighter. And the way Marcy kissed the top of his head. And the warmth and love in Bobby’s voice when he spoke.

“We love you too, Buck.”

Chapter Text

Even as a kid it sometimes seemed like time went by in the blink of an eye.

One day, Buck was four-years-old and being taken home by the two kindest, most loving people he had ever met, and the next he was just shy of his tenth birthday and caught between the excitement and fear of becoming a big brother.

Marcy, eight months earlier, had made the announcement over dinner one evening and Buck had, at first, been so excited at the idea of having a little sibling. His best friend, Ava, had three little brothers and, though she said they were annoying sometimes, he had always found them fun and, so, he was excited at the idea of maybe having a little brother of his own.

But when he mentioned it to Ava she had frowned and, knowing he was adopted, because Buck had told her because they were best friends, had asked if he wasn’t worried about his parents deciding to take him back since they were now having a baby of their own. When Buck had asked her why they would do that, that his dad and mom loved him, Ava had, in the blunt way nine-years-old often did, pointed out that being adopted meant Buck wasn’t really their kid. Not like the baby would be. So what if they decided they didn’t want him anymore? What if they only wanted the new baby?

That conversation had sparked the beginnings of doubt and fear that, for a while, had plagued Buck and driven him to act out until, finally, Bobby and Marcy had had enough of his attitude and, one day after school, sat him down to talk to him. To find out what was going on with him. And everything had just come bubbling out. His fears and doubts and he begged through tears for them not to send him away once the baby came.

Marcy had been the one to pull him into a tight embrace, letting him cry and cling to her, as she rocked him and promised, over and over again, until he finally started to believe her, that he wasn’t going anywhere just because of the baby. That he was still their son, that he would always be their son, and that they would never stop loving him just because they had another child.

Once he’d calmed down, Marcy and Bobby had explained that they had tried, years ago, to have a baby but hadn’t been able to and they’d gone to doctors who’d said they probably never would have a baby so they began to foster kids and, when that was not enough anymore, they had decided to adopt. And then they met Buck. And they fell in love with him and decided to bring him home and be his dad and mom. They explained that the baby was a surprise and a miracle, a gift from God, and that it just meant their family was getting bigger and there would be more love.

After that, though from time to time the feelings of fear and doubt would bubble up, Buck held onto the excitement and the promise that he was still Bobby and Marcy’s son. He held onto the love of his parents and his love for them and, as the months passed, couldn’t wait to meet the baby who, as it turned out, was going to be his little brother.

And then, about a month before the baby was to be born, the world suddenly stopped.

Buck was at school when the principal, Mr Andrews, came in and spoke quietly with the teacher, Mrs Cooper, who looked suddenly shocked and sad and had looked at Buck quickly. When Mr Andrews and Mrs Cooper escorted him out of the classroom and to the office he thought he was in trouble. But Mr Andrews told him it was okay, that everything was going to be okay, and when he stepped into the office he was surprised to find Bobby there.

Bobby was supposed to be at work today. He was even still dressed in his uniform. Something wasn’t right.

“Dad?”

Bobby looked at him and it was clear he’d been crying. It was clear he was upset. Something was really, really wrong.

“Dad?” Buck didn’t like his dad looking like that. “Dad, what…what’s going on?”

“Buck…” Bobby cleared his throat and tears glided silently down his cheeks. “Evan, it’s…” He cleared his throat again, moving forward and reaching to cup Buck’s cheek and if Buck wasn’t already certain something was really wrong his dad using his actual name would have confirmed it. “Evan, it’s…it’s…it’s your mom, buddy.”

“What?” Buck shook his head, feeling Bobby’s hand tremble against his cheek. “Mom’s fine. She…She had a doctor’s appointment today. She’s…”

“Evan.” Bobby’s voice shifted then, catching Buck’s attention so sharply that he stopped speaking quickly enough his teeth clacked together. “Evan, buddy, there…there was an accident. Your mom…she…” Bobby closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them tears fell down his cheeks. “She didn’t make it, Evan.”

“What?”

Buck shook his head again. No. No that wasn’t right. Someone made a mistake. Someone had made a mistake. Bobby had made a mistake.

“No.” Buck was starting to tremble and he shook his head again even as Bobby tried to calm him down. “No. No. No. Mom…Mom’s fine. Robbie…Robbie’s fine. They’re fine!”

Buck felt the tears start to glide down his cheeks even as Bobby pulled him into his arms, holding him tight, holding him even as he struggled, as he cried and screamed, calling his dad a liar and saying that someone made a mistake, that his mom and baby brother were okay and, as the fight finally left him, begging for his mom.

Bobby held him through it all, telling him it was okay, telling him to let it out, that it was going to be okay.

Buck didn’t know then how it would ever be okay again.

His mom was gone. His baby brother was gone.

All because, as it turned out, someone had been in a hurry and run a red light.

The time after that did that funny blur thing that time sometimes did. He didn’t really remember the funeral or the weeks right after it. Too much noise and too many people coming and going. He remembered his nightmares though. And he remembered how, after each one, Bobby would let him sleep with him and hold him and promise it would all be okay. And when Buck demanded to know when, when it would all be okay again, Bobby’s only answer had been in time.

Going back to school had been hard. People talked to and treated him differently. He didn’t like it. Had even pitched a terrible fit one day when it got to be too much.

Bobby ended up having to come and get him he was so worked up.

The next year passed in a mix of emotions and moments like that until one night when Bobby had sat Buck down for a very important talk.

“I know it’s been hard,” Bobby said, reaching across the table to cover Buck’s hand with his own. “Since Mom died. But I think, maybe, it might be time for a change.”

Buck blinked and looked at his dad.

“What kind of change?”

Bobby gave a gentle smile at that.

“I have a friend in Los Angeles and he’s offered me a job. At a firehouse there.”

“So…” Buck’s nose wrinkled slightly. “We’d move?”

Bobby nodded.

“It would be a new start, in a new place with new people.” He smiled slightly. “We wouldn’t be forgetting Mom, or Robbie, we’ll never forget them or stop loving them, but…but maybe it might be easier. Being in a place where we…where we don’t have quite so many memories of them waiting around every corner.”

Buck let out a soft sound.

“No more ghosts,” he whispered and Bobby gave a small nod.

“No more ghosts,” the man agreed and, just like that, the decision was made.

Los Angeles was big and noisy and so very different from St. Paul.

Everything was so different.

It was difficult at first, getting used to the apartment they now called home, which was smaller than their old one, but Bobby did everything he could to make it feel like home. And then there was the new school Buck went to. It was alright, as far as schools went, but some of the kids were mean just for the sake of being mean and Buck ended up getting into a fight on his second day which meant Bobby had to leave work to deal with it.

Buck felt really bad about that. He had never meant to cause trouble for his dad. And he apologized over and over until Bobby, on the way to the car, had stopped and scooped him up into his arms, hugging him tight and Buck didn’t care who saw him or what they thought as he clung to his dad.

“It’s not your fault, Evan,” Bobby reassured him, rubbing a hand soothingly over Buck’s back. “I’m your dad. And part of my job as your dad is making certain you’re safe at school. And if that means leaving work to do it then so be it.” He pressed a kiss to Buck’s hair. “I will always be here for you, Evan. Always.”

Buck clung to his dad, and that promise, and, not for the first time, wished his mom was still with them.

“I miss Mom,” he admitted in a whisper and, not surprisingly, his dad’s arms tightened around him.

“I know, buddy.” Bobby pressed another kiss to Buck’s hair. “I miss her too.”

It took time but, eventually, Buck and Bobby finally found, as Bobby called it, their groove. Everything felt easier. A little lighter.

Bobby settled into his role as captain at his new firehouse and Buck found his footing at school, making some new friends and joining the junior baseball team. He wasn’t the best player, had no problem saying it himself, but he had fun and loved that Bobby turned up for almost every game, sometimes with the rest of his fire crew in tow. And, unlike some of the other parents, Bobby cheered for everyone on the team or tried to shout encouraging things when it was clear someone was nervous or upset. It, along with the cookies and brownies and other sweets he baked for the post-game get togethers, quickly made him beloved by Buck’s team mates as well as their parents.

And, before they knew it, a year had passed and the anniversary of Marcy’s passing was right around the corner.

Buck suddenly felt bad for having spent so long happy, so long not thinking of his mother or baby brother, and he grew quieter and quieter as the day itself came creeping closer. And, on the morning of the anniversary, Buck woke to bright sunshine and the sound of his dad in the kitchen cooking breakfast and he just couldn’t handle it. It felt wrong. So, for the first time since he’d been really little, he climbed out of bed and then crawled under it to hide.

Which was where Bobby found him when he came to see why Buck hadn’t joined him for breakfast like normal.

“Hey, bud,” Bobby said, crouching down, finding Buck curled up on his side and peering back at him with tear filled eyes. “You want to come out and have some breakfast?”

“No.”

Buck sniffled and tears dripped from his lashes and Bobby nodded.

“That’s okay,” Bobby reassured him, giving a gentle smile. “You don’t have to come out today if you don’t want to. I already called to tell the school you probably wouldn’t be in today.”

Buck blinked.

“You did?”

Bobby nodded, settling a little more comfortably on the floor, watching his son with a loving expression.

“I did.” Bobby nodded. “Today’s not going to be easy for either of us so I thought we could just stay home.”

“You’re not going to work?”

“Nope.”

Bobby reached in under the bed, offering Buck his hand, not surprised when Buck latched on to it, gripping tightly enough to hurt but he didn’t mind. His son needed him and that’s what really mattered.

“We don’t have to do anything today if that’s what you want,” Bobby said, still smiling a little. “But I was thinking maybe we could watch some videos of Mom? Look at some of the photo albums? Maybe celebrate her life instead of…instead of just…mourning her loss?”

Bobby squeezed Buck’s hand.

“It’s okay to be sad today, Buck, but Mom wouldn’t want us to just be sad. She would want us to remember how much we loved her and how much she loved us.”

He gave Buck’s hand another squeeze.

“Mom loved you so much, Buck. She loved you so much. And it’s okay to be sad but, maybe, after a little bit we could try?”

Buck chewed his lip, wanting to refuse, to just hide away until the day was over and he felt like he could breathe again without feeling like he was being crushed. But he also knew his dad was right. Marcy wouldn’t have wanted him to keep hurting like this. Especially not when Bobby was right here, offering comfort and a way to remember his mom without so much pain.

Slowly, Buck crawled out from under the bed, letting Bobby pull him into a tight hug.

“How about we have breakfast,” Bobby said after a few minutes, running his hand over Buck’s curls. “And then we’ll decide what to do, yeah?”

Buck nodded and tucked his head against Bobby’s shoulder.

“Okay, Dad.”

It was still going to be a hard day but, Buck knew, he could handle it.

Because he still had Bobby.

And because, just like Bobby had said, Marcy wouldn’t want him to be sad forever.

Chapter Text

Los Angeles had been home for a few years when the last thing Bobby ever expected to happen came to pass.

When one of his men said someone was looking for him on the apparatus floor, he had thought it perhaps someone the team had saved or someone from the department, a new firefighter maybe, the last thing he expected to find was his thirteen-year-old son, with what looked like a black eye and a broken arm, standing alongside a police officer.

“EVAN!”

Bobby rushed forward, heart hammering in his ear, fear and worry at war in his mind until he was in front of his son.

“Christ,” Bobby muttered, cupping Buck’s jaw, examining the black eye. “What the hell happened, Buck?”

“He tried to be a hero,” the officer said and Bobby’s gaze snapped to her, finding she was looking down at Buck with an expression that spoke of someone well accustomed to dealing with the stupidity of others. “Which, though commendable, was stupid.”

“That guy was going to hurt that lady,” Buck interjected, wincing when Bobby’s thumb carefully probed his cheek below the bruising around his eye.

“And taking action was brave,” the officer replied calmly, her expression shifting just a bit to something softer. “But you could have been hurt a lot worse than you were.”

Bobby grunted, looking at Buck’s arm and finding his initial thought of it being broken wasn’t correct but it likely was sprained given the sling it rested in.

“What exactly happened,” Bobby asked the officer, silently thanking God that nothing worse had happened to his son.

The officer grinned just a touch and if Bobby hadn’t been looking at her he would have missed it.

“Evan here happened upon a woman being mugged and decided to try and help,” the officer, her nametag reading Grant, explained. “Gave the guy a few good smacks with his skateboard before the tables turned. He ended up being hit in the face and tossed into a nearby dumpster which is how he dislocated his shoulder but the ER doctor assured me he should be okay.”

“Christ,” Bobby hissed, shaking his head. “Why wasn’t I called by the hospital?”

Buck was suddenly shuffling his feet and couldn’t quite meet his dad’s eye so Bobby glanced at the officer again.

“That was my doing,” the officer admitted, though she didn’t seem upset or remorseful over it. “He explained you were a captain with the LAFD and that he didn’t want you to have to leave work because of him so once I got him to tell me which firehouse you manned I figured I’d just bring him to you.”

Buck grinned up at Bobby and, though he knew they’d be having a long conversation later about what had happened, Bobby was just relieved his son was in one piece.

“Alright, buddy,” Bobby said, smiling just a touch. “Head up to the kitchen and get yourself a snack or something. I’ll be up in a minute.”

Buck gave a nod before looking up at the officer.

“Thanks for the ride, Sergeant Grant,” he said. “And for saving my butt.”

The officer, a sergeant as it turned out, chuckled softly and shook her head.

“Go on, baby,” she said, giving Buck a slight nudge. “And try not to get into any trouble along the way, yeah?”

Buck nodded and Bobby watched him go before turning back to the officer.

“Sorry about him causing any sort of trouble for you,” he said, slowly extending his hand. “Captain Robert Nash, by the way.”

“Athena Grant,” the officer replied with a grin. “He’s something special your boy.”

“Yeah.” Bobby chuckled, looking in the direction Buck had gone. “Yeah, he is.” He looked back to Athena. “Maybe you can give me the less than PG version of whatever went down?”

“Your boy was, according to him, heading to the library like he usually does after school before coming to meet you here when he saw a man grab a woman and drag her into an alley. So, instead of trying to find someone to help, he took it upon himself to try and help.”

“Christ.”

Bobby scrubbed a hand over his face. Of course Buck, who’d grown up surrounded by firefighters, by men and women he saw as every day heroes, would throw himself into a dangerous situation for the sake of a complete stranger.

He looked at Athena again.

“That’s when he got hurt?”

“According to the woman, Buck yelled, startling the guy who had her pinned to the ground and then proceeded to smack him in the face with his skateboard.” Athena’s grin widened a touch and, if Bobby wasn’t mistaken, there was something akin to pride in her gaze. “He got a few more whacks in before the guy regained himself and then proceeded to hit Buck in the face and then threw him into a dumpster at the end of the alley. Fortunately, someone passing by heard the commotion and called the police.”

Bobby released the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

“Is the woman okay?”

“She is. Thanks to your son.” Athena nodded. “We got the guy too. He’s facing multiple assault charges.”

Bobby frowned.

“Will Buck have to testify?”

“It’s a possibility but there were security cameras on one of the buildings that caught the whole thing so even the crappiest public defender will probably advise the guy to take whatever deal is offered.”

Bobby sighed softly.

“Okay, okay that’s…that’s good.” Bobby glanced again towards the stairs, towards the kitchen, almost as though he could still see Buck if he looked hard enough. “I’m just glad he’s okay.”

“He’s a good kid,” Athena said gently as Bobby looked back at her. “Got a good heart.”

“It’s going to get him into trouble one day.”

Athena huffed a laugh.

“More than likely,” she agreed. “But until then I’m willing to bet he’ll do a lot of good.”

Bobby couldn’t help but smile because he thought the same thing, had thought it every day since Buck had come into his life.

He and Athena exchanged a brief goodbye after that, neither knowing that, because of one simple moment, one choice by a thirteen-year-old boy unable to let someone be hurt when he could do something about it, would forever tie their lives together.

A few weeks after the Incident, as Bobby came to think of it, he and Buck were out at the grocery store, doing the weekly food run, when, suddenly, Buck lit up and bolted down the aisle.

“Sergeant Grant!”

Bobby spun and, sure enough, there, just a ways down the aisle, was Athena Grant, pushing a cart with a toddler strapped into the seat.

Athena, though clearly surprised, smiled warmly.

“Well, hello, Buck,” she greeted with a soft chuckle. “Fancy running into you again.”

Buck grinned brightly as Bobby moved to join them.

“Sergeant Grant,” Bobby said politely and Athena huffed.

“Please, I am not in uniform,” she teased. “You can call me Athena, Captain Nash.”

“In that case, it’s just Bobby.” Bobby looked at the little girl who, it seemed from the way she was staring at Buck, was captivated by the older boy. “And who is this adorable little thing?”

Athena’s smile was warm and loving and motherly as she looked at her little girl.

“This is May,” Athena said. “May, sweetie, this is Bobby,” she gestured to Bobby though May’s big dark eyes barely left Buck. “And this is Buck.”

“Buck,” May repeated, head tilting slightly, gaze still fixed on Buck who seemed just as fascinated by her as she was by him. “Buck got booboo.” May pointed at Buck’s arm and then his face. “Booboo, Mama, kissa betta.”

Bobby and Athena both chuckled while Buck looked a little quizzical before realizing that, though his bruises had started to fade, his birthmark probably looked like an injury to May.

“It’s okay, May,” Buck said, stepping closer, close enough that May could reach out and lightly probe the splotch at his eyebrow. “It’s not a booboo. Just a birthmark.”

May frowned, looking at the mark then meeting Buck’s eye.

“Booboo,” she said again and then, as much as she could given she was strapped into her seat, leaned forward and placed a wet, smacking kiss as near the mark as she could. “All betta.”

Buck blushed while Athena cooed and Bobby chuckled, May just sat there looking pleased with herself.

“What’s going on?”

The new voice caused Athena’s smile to widen as a man stepped up to stand beside her.

“Hey, baby,” Athena said, still smiling. “Just ran into Bobby and Buck.” She looked at May. “And May here was proving what an angel she is.”

“I kissa Buck booboo betta, Dada,” May chimed in and her father laughed.

“Is that so, honey?” He looked at Bobby, smiling, and extended his hand. “Hi, Michael Grant.”

“Bobby Nash, pleasure to meet you.”

Michael nodded and glanced at Buck.

“And you must be Buck?”

Buck nodded, grinning, holding out his good hand which Michael shook with a smirk.

“Nice to meet you, Mr Grant.”

Michael laughed and shook his head.

“It’s okay, you can call me Michael if you’d like. I hear Mr Grant and I start looking around for my father.”

Buck looked at Bobby for confirmation that that was indeed okay and when Bobby nodded he grinned brightly as he looked back up at Michael.

“It’s nice to meet you, Michael.”

“It’s nice to meet you too, Buck.”

The two families chatted for a few minutes longer, long enough for Michael to invite Bobby and Buck to a Sunday barbeque at the Grant home. Bobby had hesitated at first, not wanting to impose, but Athena had been quick to reassure him that it was fine and, after a moment longer of hesitating, Bobby, much to Buck’s excitement, happily accepted.

As he and Buck continued on their way, Buck turned back to wave goodbye, earning a happy squeal from May, who waved animatedly and kept calling Bye bye Buck! until she and her parents disappeared around the corner of the aisle.

That first Sunday barbeque quickly turned into regular, weekly events, with the Nash and Grant families seemingly blending into a co-dependent unit. There were family dinners and play dates and movie nights. Michael and Athena came to ball games once Buck was back to playing and Bobby made cookies and sweets for May’s preschool bake sale. Buck read books to May that he’d loved when he’d been little while Bobby and Michael cooked dinner and Athena got to just sit a relax after a long shift.

None of them really seemed to think anything of it until, during the last baseball games of the season, as Buck hit a homerun, his first homerun since coming back from his broken arm, Michael cheered and shouted, “That’s my boy!”.

To Buck, who had somehow managed to hear Michael over the roar of the other spectators, it hadn’t been anything other than Michael cheering for him in excitement. To Bobby, Athena and Michael it had struck a little different.

As Michael had dropped back into his seat as Buck rounded home, he looked at Bobby almost sheepishly.

“I didn’t…” Michael started but Bobby quickly shook his head even though he had been as surprised by Michael’s declaration.

“It’s okay, Michael,” Bobby was quick to reassure, giving a smile as he reached across Athena to grip Michael’s arm for a moment before settling back.

“But…”

“The man said it’s okay, baby,” Athena interjected, still smiling brightly, bouncing May on her knee as the toddler kept chanting Buck’s name. “So it’s okay.”

“But Athena,” Michael started only to stop when Athena gave him a Look over her sunglasses.

Bobby grinned as he looked towards the dugout, finding Buck being hugged by several of his team mates.

“The first thing I learned about Buck when we brought him home was that he is, by far, the easiest kid to love.” Bobby’s grin turned into a smile. “Him having a few more people in his life who love him the way he deserves to be loved? Not a bad thing in my book.”

Michael relaxed and Athena smiled as she looked at May.

“Hear that, baby,” she cooed at her daughter. “Daddy and Bobby just finally figured out what you and me knew for a while, huh? That Buck, and Bobby, are family.”

“Buck!”

May squealed in delight, pointing towards the field, knowing that’s where Buck was, and Bobby chuckled while Michael beamed brightly at his daughter.

Family, Bobby decided as he offered May some of his popcorn. Family sounded really good to him.

Chapter Text

Ten years was, for most people, a long time.

For Buck it felt like it had passed in the blink of an eye.

One minute he was a thirteen-year-old getting chucked in a dumpster for trying to help someone and the next he was a twenty-three-year old university graduate with a degree in history that, truth be told, he was probably never going to have any real use for and that he had only gotten because of his Dad’s insistence that he needed a degree of some kind.

Buck hadn’t been exactly keen on university but he’d qualified for a full scholarship and, to make his Dad happy, he’d gone.

Now though he couldn’t help but feel a bit listless.

He didn’t want to take any of the potential museum jobs he’d been offered after graduating in the top five of his class because, in truth, he’d always thought he might follow in Bobby’s footsteps and join the fire department.

The problem was his Dad seemed to think he could, and should, do better.

Hence the degree that, as far as Buck was concerned, was worth about as much as the paper it was printed on.

He wasn’t a kid anymore, no matter what his Dad, or Athena or Michael, thought and, degree or no degree, he knew what his purpose in life was.

He was meant to help people. To give his all for the sake of others.

And, though he knew it was going to possibly cause problems between him and his Dad, he was handing in his application for the fire academy in the morning.

He loved his Dad but he had to follow his own path.

He just had to figure out a way to explain that to his Dad.

Which was what was going through his mind one afternoon while he was out on his daily run. And so far all he’d managed to do was twist himself up in knots trying to find the right words, the right way, to just tell his Dad something as simple as his plans for his own life.

He had just passed an alleyway when something caught his attention. He couldn’t say for certain what it was, some odd noise or movement, but something caused him to come to a halt and turn to look down the alley. He didn’t see anything out of the ordinary at first. Couple of dumpster and some junk scattered about. But then he saw it. A hint of movement. A sneaker scrapping across the pavement just behind the dumpster.

“Hello?” Buck called out as he moved forward. “Are you okay?”

He received no reply but a quiet groan and, thinking someone could be hurt, he hurried forward.

He was not prepared to find a woman, little older than he was, slumped on the ground next to the dumpster, head lolled to one side. She was dressed fairly well, clothes clean and neat except for the fact that her left sleeve was rolled up. She looked very out of sorts to be where she was. Buck knelt next to her and cautiously reached out. Was she drunk? Had she left a bar the night before and passed out here?

“Ma’am?” Buck’s fingers pressed to the woman’s pulse point, finding it, but it was weak and thready. Not a good sign. “Ma’am, can you hear me?”

She groaned again and her head sort of lifted but her eyes barely opened before she slumped against the dumpster again.

“Ma’am?” Buck cupped her chin and gently lifted her head. “Ma’am, I need you to try and tell me your name.”

Buck felt his heart stutter against his ribs.

The woman’s lipstick was smudged slightly, just enough that he could see the skin was a less pink and more blue than they should have been, and her pupils were like pinpricks.

Pinpricked pupils. Blue tinted lips. Weak pulse. Incoherent.

None of that was good.

All of it pointed to one thing.

An overdose.

He quickly glanced at her arm and saw what he had missed when he first knelt down.

Track marks.

Possibly chronic user.

He had a very small window to get help. Reaching for his phone to call 9-1-1, Buck quickly remembered that he’d left his phone in his Jeep, not wanting any distractions while he tried to figure out a way to talk to his Dad. He had a brief thought of flagging down someone else passing by, get them to call 9-1-1, but looking at the woman, taking in her current condition, he wasn’t sure he could wait for an ambulance. Not when his Jeep was in the parking at the end of the block and the nearest hospital was not even five minutes away if he broke the speed limits.

Swallowing, almost hearing his Dad yell about how bad an idea it was, to just wave somebody down, get them to call 9-1-1, Buck made his decision.

“Hang on, ma’am,” Buck said, moving, lifting her into his arms, grabbing the purse that had been lying by her hip, and quickly stood. “Just hang on. I’m going to get you help.”

Buck couldn’t ever remember running so quickly. He just knew he had to get the woman to a hospital as quickly as possible.

He couldn’t really remember what happened between getting to his Jeep and pulling into the hospital parking lot. But, as he got the woman out of the back seat, checking her pulse again, finding, perhaps thankfully, little change, he knew he’d made the right decision. Cradling her close, Buck ran for the emergency room doors, shouting at he stepped inside.

“Help!” He looked around frantically. “I need some help here!”

Two nurses looked up at the same time and, in an instant, one was rushing forward, catching hold of Buck’s arm and pulling him through the waiting room.

“What happened,” the nurse asked, guiding Buck to an empty bay.

“I…I don’t really know,” Buck said, laying the woman down as the second nurse moved to check vitals. “I found her.” He shook his head as he stepped back, giving them room to work. “I think she overdosed.”

“What’s her name?”

“I…uh…”

Buck quickly dug through the woman’s purse, which he’d somehow remembered to grab while getting her out of his Jeep, searching for her wallet.

“Isabel,” he said once he found it. “Isabel Bradford.”

The first nurse looked up at him then, frowning just a touch, while her co-worker grabbed for an IV line.

“You don’t know her,” the nurse asked and Buck quickly shook his head.

“I…I found her in an alley a few blocks away.”

“And you didn’t call 9-1-1?”

“Given her condition I figured it was quicker to bring her in myself.”

“You may have saved her life,” the second nurse said as he got the IV line in and began running fluids before looking at the first nurse. “Page Doctor Wallace, possible drug overdose, already pushing naloxone as a precaution.”

The first nurse nodded and moved for the phone, hitting the paging button, calling for the doctor, and Buck watched Isabel for sign of improvement. He still couldn’t quite believe this was happening. That fate had somehow put him at that alley at the right moment. He swallowed and nearly jumped out of his skin when the first nurse touched his arm.

“Can you check for any sort of medical card,” the nurse asked, gesturing to Isabel’s purse. “We need to try and see if there’s anything else we need to be aware of and who her emergency contact is.”

Buck nodded and, though he felt a twinge of guilt about going through a stranger’s belongings again, he quickly checked, finding the necessary card and passing it over to the nurse.

“Can…” Buck started, swallowing nervously as he glanced at Isabel again. “Can I stay with her? Just…Just until someone can get here for her? I…I don’t like the idea of her being alone after something like this.”

The nurses exchanged a look before the second one nodded.

“It’s technically against protocol,” she explained. “But given what you did for her, I think we can look the other way just this once.”

“Thank you. I…I won’t get in the way.”

The nurse nodded and moved to run Isabel’s card even as the doctor finally stepped into the bay, asking for an update from the remaining nurse. All the while, Buck stood there, just off to the side, waiting, hopeful once the doctor confirmed that Isabel’s vitals were stabilizing. He order a few tests to check her kidney and liver functions, wanting to be certain there was no serious issues to worry about there.

“You did good, son,” Doctor Wallace said, giving him a kind smile. “Getting your friend here as quickly as you did.”

“Oh, I…” Buck started but then remembered what the nurse had said about him being there. “I just did what had to be done.”

Doctor Wallace patted his arm on the way by.

“Well, doing what had to be done probably saved her life, son.”

Buck watched the man leave before looking back at Isabel.

She was going to be okay.

That simple phrase kept repeating through his mind as, eventually, he sat by Isabel’s bedside, waiting for when her emergency contact, who the nurse had assured him was coming, arrived. He knew it was probably odd, he had not connection to Isabel beyond finding her and making a split second decision, but he hadn’t lied when he told the nurse that he hadn’t wanted her to be alone. That just felt wrong.

It didn’t matter why or how Isabel Bradford had ended up in that alley.

She didn’t deserve to be left alone until someone else showed up.

A commotion just outside the bay suddenly caught his attention and Buck had just started to rise from the chair when a man, dressed in a LAPD uniform, stepped through the current.

The man looked equal parts worried and angry and, before Buck could say or do anything, one of the nurses from earlier, the young woman, appeared behind the man.

“Officer Bradford,” the nurse was saying. “I understand this is very upsetting but we need to know if your wife has a history of…”

“You really think now is the time,” the officer snarled, gaze swinging from Isabel, his wife apparently, to the nurse and then, as though realizing they were not alone, to Buck. “Who are you?”

“Oh,” Buck stood quickly. “I…uhh…I’m Evan. I…”

“He’s the reason your wife is alive, Officer Bradford,” the nurse interjected, clearly not liking the man’s tone. “Now as I was saying, we need to know if your wife has a history of…”

“Why are you still here,” the man asked, frowning, looking Buck up and down in a way Buck had seen Athena do to people. He wondered if it was a cop thing.

“I…” Buck glanced at Isabel, still unconscious but alive, and then back to her husband. “I didn’t want her to be alone until someone was here for her. Seemed wrong.” He swallowed nervously. “Sorry, I’ll…I’ll just go now.”

Buck made it all of ten steps out of the bay before a hand, strong and broad, curled around his bicep, drawing him to a stop and causing him to turn, finding himself face to face with the officer again.

“I’m sorry,” the officer said, looking genuinely apologetic. “I just…this isn’t the first time I’ve gotten a call like this and I just…it never gets any easier.” He drew a deep breath. “Thank you, for helping her. For caring enough to stay. Most people would have dumped her off and just left.”

“You don’t have to thank…”

“Yes,” the man cut him off. “I do. If you hadn’t gone the extra mile the phone call I got could have, and probably would have, been very different. So thank you, Evan.”

“Buck,” Buck was quick to interject. “Most everyone calls me Buck.”

“Buck,” the man repeated. “I’m Tim.”

Chapter Text

That day at the hospital, saving Isabel, changed things for Buck.

He still wanted to be a firefighter, to follow in Bobby’s footsteps, but he suddenly realized that there was so much he didn’t know, hadn’t seen or experienced, and that, in a way, he hadn’t really lived yet.

Saving Isabel had sparked something in him.

Something that wasn’t exactly pushing him further towards being a firefighter but, at the same time, wasn’t dragging him away from it either.

It was more like the universe had suddenly hit pause and he suddenly found himself stuck at an impasse.

Which was why he found himself calling Tim.

They had been texting and talking ever since that day in the hospital, quickly finding a budding friendship, and Buck hoped Tim would be able to give him some advice or at least point him in the right direction because he felt so hopelessly lost and he didn’t want to try and talk to his Dad about any of it. Not yet anyways. Not until he had a clearer picture of what he was doing and where he was going.

Tim got him to meet him at a food truck spot, apparently a pretty popular spot for cops, and Buck was already at one of the tables, with a cup of surprisingly really good coffee, when Tim showed up. He was on duty and had a second shadow in the form of a young officer, his rookie, who was quick to run for the taco truck the minute Tim gave him a nod.

Buck grinned as he watched Tim approach.

“That kid looks terrified,” Buck noted as Tim sat, laughing softly, watching Tim’s rookie for a moment.

“He should be.”

Tim glanced towards his rookie more subtly than Buck had. There was a hint of something in Tim’s gaze, sharp and judging, and Buck wondered what it was about the rookie officer that Tim found lacking but he didn’t figure that was any of his business. He knew, from Tim himself, that being a training officer was tough and that sometimes some rookies just didn’t work out. Buck thought maybe Tim was feeling that way about this rookie specifically.

“That bad, huh,” Buck asked as Tim’s gaze swung back to him, that sharp edge fading away.

Tim just shrugged and then, like Buck figured he would, changed the subject.

“So what did you want to talk about?”

And just like that Buck’s nerves were back in full force.

“I…uhh…well…” Buck started picking at the lip of his coffee cup. “It’s…I’ve just been thinking and…umm…”

Tim’s hand suddenly covered Buck’s stilling his nervous movements and causing him to look up and meet the man’s gaze. It was kind, like it had been that day in the hospital when Tim had thanked him for saving Isabel. To Buck’s surprise, it helped to settle him and he drew a slow, deep breath.

“Sorry,” he apologized, knowing there was no reason to be so nervous with Tim. The man would hear him out and then give him an honest opinion. That’s why he’d called him after all. “I just…I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since…well…that day with Isabel and I…I suddenly realized that…as…as much as I still want to be a firefighter, to follow in Dad’s footsteps, I just…I’m not sure that I’m ready yet.”

Tim’s hand never left his and that calm, sure gaze never wavered.

“Why?”

And there was the million dollar question.

“I…” Buck swallowed around the lump in his throat. “I don’t know.”

He looked down for a moment, looking at how Tim’s hand fit over his, how the man’s thumb kept brushing over the knuckle of his thumb seemingly without conscious thought, before slowly looking back up.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is that I…I’ve never really lived for me. Like…everything I’ve ever done was either expected or because I…I was trying to make my Dad proud. Don’t get me wrong, I loved playing sports and I did enjoy university and my studies but…but none of it was…was really because it was one-hundred-percent my thing. Even firefighting…I want to do it because my Dad does, because I want to be able to help people, but I…I…”

“You want to be able to say you have a life outside of it.”

Leave it to Tim to get it even when Buck had taken the round-about way to get to the point.

“Yeah.” Buck nodded. “I want…I want to experience things without…without knowing my Dad’s just around the corner if something goes wrong. I want…I want to learn who I am. Who I really am.”

“And you’ve got no idea how to tell your Dad that, right?”

Buck nodded and Tim’s thumb rubbed a little firmer against his knuckle.

“Then don’t tell him.”

Buck blinked and looked at Tim like the man had suddenly sprouted a second head.

“What? Tim, I…”

“I’m not saying you don’t give him some warning,” Tim cut in, causing Buck to immediately fall silent. “But…you’re not a kid anymore, Buck. You don’t owe anyone, not even your Dad, an explanation about what you do. And you certainly don’t need to ask permission.”

Buck swallowed again and suddenly felt the urge to turn his hand over, to lace his fingers through Tim’s, but pushed that down, uncertain how such a gesture might be taken.

“I just don’t want to let him down,” Buck admittedly quietly and Tim’s thumb stopped rubbing and just pressed firmly.

“Living your life the way you want is not letting him down, Buck.” Tim gave a small smile. “And from what you’ve told me about him I don’t think you ever could let him down. Not in any way that really matters.”

Buck felt that lump return to his throat but this time for a different reason.

“I…” He cleared his throat. “I still don’t…”

“Buck,” Tim cut in again and, again, Buck immediately fell silent. “What do you want?”

Buck said nothing for a moment, drawing a deep breath, mind turning over and over, thoughts tangling until, finally, he was able to find his voice.

“I want to travel,” he finally admitted. “I want to…to find out who I am. See who I can become. I still want to be a firefighter but…but maybe just not right now.”

Tim smiled at him and Buck felt lighter than he had in weeks.

“There you go then,” Tim said it like Buck had come up with his own answers all on his own. “You can do this, Buck. You just have to believe in yourself and trust your instincts.”

Buck slowly smiled and nodded.

“I still have to tell my Dad,” he said quietly. “I know you said I didn’t have to if I didn’t want to but…but he deserves to hear it from me not a…a text or an email or something.” He drew a slow, deep breath. “It’s not going to be easy but I owe him that much at least.”

Tim nodded his understanding and went to say something but a sudden commotion, involving the man’s rookie, grabbed his attention and he sighed as, oh so quickly, the kind man Buck knew melted away and the sharp training officer returned.

“Sorry, I hate to cut this short but…” Tim gestured towards his rookie and Buck gave a quick nod.

“It’s okay. I understand.” He smiled. “Thanks for talking it through with me.”

“Any time, Buck.” Tim stood as he spoke. “Let me know what you decide to do, yeah? Or at least send me a postcard?”

“Of course,” Buck agreed, his smile widening, and, after exchanging quick goodbyes, he watched Tim walk off to deal with whatever was going on with his rookie.

Buck sat there for a while after Tim left, finishing his coffee while trying to figure out how exactly he was going to break the news to Bobby that he wasn’t taking a job or joining the academy. At least not right away. It was going to be tough, he knew his Dad would likely try and talk him out of it, but he hadn’t been lying when he had told Tim it was what he wanted.

Telling Bobby that he planned on travelling, on finding himself, went the way Buck had known it would.

Bobby had tried, naturally, to talk him out of it. Had even gone so far as to try and involve Athena and Michael, thinking the couple would back him up, but, surprisingly, they had taken Buck’s side. Athena had claimed Bobby was being overprotective while Michael pointed out that it was completely normal for someone Buck’s age to want to branch out and learn who they were on their own.

In the end, despite Bobby’s protests and concerns, Buck packed up his Jeep and, one sunny morning, early enough that Bobby wasn’t yet home from his shift, he left.

He drove south in the beginning, leaving the highways behind after a few hours in favour of lesser travelled roads, wanting the experience, the adventure and, before he knew it, found himself in a little seaside town near the California-Mexico boarder. There, at the local bar, he met Bodhi. A surfer with the soul of an Old World philosopher and knowing dark eyes.

Bodhi taught him to surf, taught him that the power of the moment, the now, was all important and that nothing was out of reach with enough determination. He encouraged Buck to always be his authentic self because, according to Bodhi, being anything else was a lie.

He stayed in that town, with Bodhi, for a few weeks until the day Bodhi said he was leaving for Australia. He invited Buck to join him, and his friends, but Buck had declined. Not yet ready for that. He’d expected disappointment but Bodhi had smiled, hugged him, and told him to walk his path wherever it may lead. They parted with the shared hope that, one day, their paths might cross again.

Buck left town the day after Bodhi, sticking around just long enough to mail a postcard.

He had promised after all.

Once the card was left with the kind elderly lady at the post office, Buck headed east.

Tim Bradford got home from a long shift annoyed and exhausted.

His rookie was driving him crazy with all his little, near constant mistakes, and Tim was starting to think he would have to speak to the Sergeant about the kid because Tim had some serious doubts about the kind of cop he would be if he passed through the training program.

Pausing at the door long enough to grab the mail, Tim yawned and flicked through the envelops. A few bills and a couple magazine subscription cards and then, at the bottom of the pile, was a postcard with a sunset picture of a little seaside town. Frowning, Tim turned the card over and then couldn’t help the way his frown turned into a smile.

Tim, the card read in a sharp yet elegant handwriting. I know you were probably joking about me sending you a postcard, but I thought I’d do it anyways. I found this great little town in south Cali, right on the ocean. Met some cool folks and learned to surf. I really liked it. Thinking about heading east next, just gonna see where the road takes me. Buck.

Tim chuckled to himself, he honestly hadn’t expected Buck to send an actual postcard but he thought it was cute all the same. He hoped Buck found whatever he was looking for out there and, he also hoped, he stayed safe and kept in touch.

Chapter Text

When Buck left Los Angeles to find himself he did not think it would be almost three years before he saw the city, or his family, again.

He had travelled the country, parts of Central and South America, seen and done things he’d never dreamt of. But, while in Peru, working as a bartender at a fun little resort, seeing a movie about firefighters playing on the television over the bar, he felt the pull, the call, to go home.

So, at the end of the summer season, his contract with the resort finished, he packed up and made his way back to Los Angeles.

He thought, when he finally reached the city, he would go straight to his Dad’s place, make his return known, but, strangely, he found himself on an unfamiliar street, pulling into the driveway of a house he’d never been too but the address of which he knew like the back of his hand. He parked his Jeep, which had seen more miles and more places in the last three years than most people saw in a lifetime, next to the shiny black truck and drew a slow, deep breath to calm his nerves.

Before he knew it he was standing at the front door of the house and, with a hand that trembled only slightly, he rang the doorbell. And then waited.

When the door opened, he couldn’t help but grin a bit as he watched surprise dance over the face of a man he hadn’t seen in years but who, over the course of those years, had still been such an important part of his life.

“Hey,” was all he got out before Tim was stepping forward and yanking him into a hug.

It was tight and warm and their bodies seemed to fit together like two puzzle pieces.

Buck was surprised, for a moment, but then his arms were wrapping around Tim and he just sort of tucked himself against the other man.

He hadn’t ever thought a hug could feel so good.

“Goddamn punk,” Tim was suddenly chuckling against Buck’s hair and Buck couldn’t help but laugh.

“Sorry it took me a while to figure my shit out,” Buck said when they finally drew apart, Tim’s hand lingering a moment or two longer on Buck’s shoulder while the older man grinned at him.

“I take it by you’re being back in L.A. that you did actually managed to figure it out?”

Buck nodded.

“I put in my papers for the LAFD Academy before I came here.”

“Of course you did,” Tim laughed, shaking his head. “I’m surprised your dad even let you out of his sight once he realized you were back.”

Tim’s laughter died the moment he saw the look on Buck’s face.

“Do not,” the older man’s grin started to dip into a scowl. “Tell me that you haven’t even seen or told your dad that you’re back yet.”

Buck worried his lower lip for a moment, gaze darting away from Tim and then back again.

“Okay, I won’t tell you.”

Tim huffed out a breath and shook his head, muttering something about Buck being a punk, before giving the younger man a gently knock to the shoulder.

“I would think, after three years, that you would want to see your family before some guy you just barely got to know before going off on your grand adventure.”

Again, Buck chewed at his lip, but then shrugged.

“I was going to head for Dad’s but…I dunno…found myself punching your address into my GPS and well…” Buck gestured between them, a small smile starting to grace his face again. “Here we are.”

“Here we are,” Tim chuckled, shaking his head again. “God, Buck, you are definitely something else.”

Buck’s smile grew a little more.

“Something good though, yeah?”

Tim laughed.

“Yeah, Buck, something good.” Tim grinned. “Now, come on, I want to hear all about your adventures and your misadventures.”

Buck was grinning ear to ear as Tim ushered him into the house and though he knew his Dad would be upset when he found out Buck’s first stop after returning to Los Angeles was to his friend’s place and not home he found he wasn’t too bothered by that. The universe had guided him for three years and he wasn’t about to stop listening to it just yet.

By the time Buck finally made it to his Dad’s apartment, several hours later than he had originally planned, he felt excited and nervous in equal measures. He knew his Dad hadn’t been happy when he’d left, hell Bobby had argued against it, had tried to guilt him into staying, and though Buck knew it came from a place of love and concern, part of him had always been a little hurt that his Dad hadn’t thought he could handle being out on his own.

He had called, fairly regularly, and every time he had seen the look in Bobby’s eyes when the man would ask any idea when you’re coming home?, that hopeful look of a father praying his son would finally outgrow whatever phase he was going through, and how that look had turned to something akin to disappointment when Buck would say soon or don’t know, there’s this place I want to check out first. He’d never admit it but there had been times, many, many times in fact, when he’d almost cracked and given in, when he’d almost gone running back just to make his Dad feel better. Just to ease the tension that seemed to be there whenever his Dad asked when he was coming back.

But Buck didn’t regret staying away, maybe he didn’t have to stay away quite so long, but he didn’t, and wouldn’t, regret it. He and his Dad would work through whatever issues might pop up because of it but he wouldn’t regret his choice.

Just like he would never regret putting in his papers for the Fire Academy.

Walking down the hallway from the elevator to the door of the apartment that, for so long, had been home felt like an eternity. And finally standing in front of that door, Buck swore his hands were beginning to tremble.

Drawing a deep breath, Buck reminded himself that his Dad would be happy, ecstatic really, to see him, to finally have him home and, keeping that thought firmly in mind, he unlocked the door and stepped into the apartment.

He could smell something cooking from the kitchen and he smiled as he set his bag down, shutting the door quietly behind him.

He made his way quietly through the apartment, noting the few changes here and there, the updated photos of May and Harry Grant, the new team photo his Dad had had taken when he’d been appointed as the new Captain at the 118, and he smiled as he finally reached the kitchen doorway.

His Dad’s back was to him, the man stirring a pot of soup, chicken, vegetable and rice from the smell of it with fresh biscuits cooling on the counter, and it made Buck think of all the times, all the countless times, throughout his childhood when Bobby would cook. It was something his Dad had always enjoyed doing. Said it calmed him. And, watching him, Buck could see how relaxed and at ease Bobby was. It made his smile widen.

“Smells good, Dad,” Buck said suddenly, causing Bobby to startle and whirl around, the man tensing for the briefest of moments before, just as quickly, surprise and wonder overtook his features and his eyes went almost comically wide.

“Evan?”

Bobby all but whispered his name and Buck’s smile softened, turning childlike, and he wasn’t surprised when Bobby all but rushed across the room to yank him into a tight, crushing hug.

He tucked himself against his Dad, all but burying his face in the slope of Bobby’s neck even as one of the man’s hands clutched as the back of his shoulder while the other tangled in his hair, all the while Bobby kept murmuring things like you’re home, oh my little boy and you’re back, you’re finally back.

Buck felt tears fill his eyes and spill down his cheeks even as he felt the quiet sobs rattling his Dad’s frame as the man cried too.

“I’m here, Dad,” Buck murmured against Bobby’s neck, clinging tighter to his Dad. “I’m really here.”

Bobby laughed, though it could have easily been a sob, and pulled back enough to cup Buck’s face between his hands, looking at him and Buck wasn’t surprised that his Dad was crying too.

“God, kid,” Bobby laughed, smile bright and wide and so loving. “You have no idea how good it is to see you.”

“I dunno,” Buck teased. “I thinking seeing my dad after three years is pretty great.”

That made Bobby laugh again and yank him back into a tight hug.

“Oh, you wait until Athena and Michael find out you’re home.”

“Can’t wait to see them,” Buck admitted because it was true.

He had missed the Grant family, seeing pictures and videos, talking to them briefly, hadn’t been nearly enough and he ached to see them all. Especially May and Harry.

“The kids are going to flip,” Buck laughed and Bobby chuckled as he finally drew back, giving Buck’s shoulder a firm squeeze before turning back to check his soup. “God, I’m probably going to flip. Harry was, what, like six when I left?”

Bobby chuckled again.

“Just shy of it, I think, but you are right, everyone is going to be so excited that you’re back.” Bobby looked at him, smiling. “And not to rush you, kid, but, any idea what your plans are now?”

Buck suddenly found himself shuffling his feet.

This was the hard part.

He drew a deep breath and, thinking about what Tim had told him, braced himself for the worst but hoped for the best.

“Yeah, Dad, about that.”

Chapter Text

Buck hadn’t been surprised by his Dad’s reaction to him joining the LAFD Academy.

He hadn’t been surprised by the argument they had had. Shouting back and forth about what was best for him.

He wondered, later, if he’s surprised his Dad by storming out, door slamming behind him, refusing to answer his phone when his Dad called him, multiple times, and he wondered if it surprised Tim when he showed back up on the man’s door.

“I need a place to stay tonight,” was all he had said and Tim had just given a nod and offered up his guestroom.

Two days later, Buck reported for his first day at the Academy.

Six months later, Buck had graduated from the Academy.

Two weeks after his graduation, Buck was assigned to the 118.

He had, of course, questioned it. His Dad was Captain at the 118 and he was concerned it might be seen as a conflict of interest. He’d been assured it would be fine and, should it ever stop being fine, he could be reassigned to another station.

So he reported for his first day and it was everything he had ever dreamt it would be.

He quickly formed friendships with his team mates, Hen Wilson and Chim Han, and, with their help and his Dad’s help, found his footing at the 118. He messed up, from time to time, he could admit it. But he did his best not to mess up too badly, not to make his Dad, his station, look bad. He didn’t want to do anything that would make his Dad look bad.

It helped that, every week, he and Tim had a night where they just hung out. A Bros Night. Usually they would watch whatever game happened to be on and drink beer. Just unwind from a stressful week. Sometimes they would talk about whatever cases or calls they had dealt with or that were still stressing them out, just to help try and process what they had been through. It was, Buck found, the highlight of his week. Better, he was a little ashamed to admit, than the weekly barbeques with his Dad and the Grant family.

Which was where he was the night Tim told him the truth.

They were watching a Rams game, tucked up on Tim’s couch, halftime having just started, when Buck glanced around with a slight frown.

“Is Isabel working,” he asked, suddenly realizing that, in all the Bros Nights they’d been had, he had not seen Isabel once. “Or is she just not a football fan?”

Tim, beer half raised to his lips, paused, gaze flickering from the television to Buck before darting away again as he slowly lowered the beer.

Silence hung between them and just as Buck was about to apologize, to say something about it not being any of his business, Tim sighed and set the beer on the coffee table.

“I…uh…” Tim shook his head, slowly looking at Buck again. “I haven’t seen her for a…well…for a while.”

Buck blinked.

“How long is a…”

Buck bit off the words, suddenly realizing how that might sound but Tim didn’t seem to take any offence to it. He merely gave a slight shrug of his shoulders.

“A year.” Tim’s admission was quiet and Buck could hear the underlying current of pain. “She was here one morning before I left for shift and…and when I came home she was gone.”

Tim scrubbed a hand over his face and Buck saw the brief flicker of anger in Tim’s eyes. Saw the pain that was quickly masked again. Part of him hated that. Hated how strong Tim always tried to appear to be. He knew it was part of the man, ingrained and self-taught, but he still hated it. Because when Tim was open, when he didn’t try to pretend to be so strong and untouchable, he was bright and vibrant in a way he wasn’t when he wore that damn mask.

Tim grabbed his beer again and took a quick drink, looking away from Buck for a moment, seemingly trying to find the right words, before sighing softly.

“When,” Tim began to explain. “When you saved Isabel, I…I realized something had to change. I put my foot down and made it clear. Rehab or I was walking away for good.”

Tim paused, for a moment, swirling his beer around in the bottle.

“She agreed. And for a while…for a while it seemed to be working. She was clean. Was going to meetings. Things were…Things were looking up. Things were going really, really good. Or I thought they were. It…It felt like it did when we first got married.”

His mask slipped for another moment and Buck wanted nothing more than to reach out and just pull Tim into his arms. To hug him and comfort him because that’s who he was. But he didn’t. He sat there and waited, quiet and patient, for Tim to tell him the rest.

“And then,” Tim continued, a wiry grin gracing his face. “I came home after shift one night, nearly a year and a half ago, and found her strung out on the kitchen floor.”

He shook his head and that glint of pain flickered through his eyes again as he took a long drink of beer.

“I got her through it,” Tim said. “And the next morning I drove her to a meeting. And she promised it would never happen again. Just a bad day at work. She was committed to her recovery. To us. And I, like a fucking idiot, believed her.”

“Tim,” Buck started, wanting to tell his friend that he wasn’t an idiot, that he just loved his wife and believed in her, but Tim talked right over him.

“Six months later it was like someone hit the repeat button. Only this time I saw her at a bar while on a call and she…she was so gone she barely noticed me. When I got home I…I sat in the kitchen and just…waited. It was hours before she came back and when she did she wasn’t as fried but it was clear she was still high. We fought. I yelled. A lot. And I threw down the gauntlet. Told her it was the drugs or us. I came home from work the next day and she was just…gone.”

“Tim, I’m so sorry.”

Tim sighed and slowly set his beer down again, picking at the damp label, and he closed his eyes for a moment.

“Before…Before she got clean or…or clever enough I didn’t notice she was still using…I would do anything…everything…for her. I gave and gave and gave because…because I thought if I gave enough that…that I could fix things and we…we could go back to how we were before. I knew it wouldn’t work. Deep down I knew that but I just…I kept doing it because…because I had to hold on to something…some shred of hope that…that we could fix it. That I could fix it.

But…But then she was gone and I still hoped that she would come back and we’d be okay but…but the days turned to weeks and the weeks turned to months and before I knew it…a whole fucking year had gone by and she…she never came back.”

Tim looked at Buck then and, just like that, the mask of strength and confidence slipped, just enough to show the vulnerability beneath.

“I don’t know where I went wrong, Buck,” he barely whispered. “I thought…I thought we could fix it.”

Buck moved then, wrapping his arms tight around Tim, pulling him in against him and all but folding himself around the older man. He tucked his chin over Tim’s shoulder and curled his hand around Tim’s bicep, squeezing, and letting out a soft, comforting sound.

“It’s not your fault,” Buck whispered, cheek pressed against Tim’s neck. “You…You did everything you could.” He squeezed Tim a little tighter. “It’s not your fault.”

He felt Tim’s arms wrap around him and the faint tremble that Tim would probably deny and he just held his friend.

“I think…” Tim murmured, all but clinging to Buck. “I think my marriage is…I think it’s over, Buck.”

Buck rubbed his hand over Tim’s back.

“It’s okay.” He hugged Tim a little tighter. “I’m here. Whatever you need, Tim. I’m here. Always.”

He felt Tim nod against him and, after a few minutes, and a few ignored sniffles and cleared throats, they settled back to watch the rest of the football game. All the while Tim’s arm was stretched across the back of the couch, the tips of his fingers just barely brushing against Buck’s shoulder in a familiar touch. Seeking the physical sense of comfort without having to be wrapped up in his friend’s embrace which, if Tim took a moment to be honest with himself, was what he really wanted because it had been a long time, too long really, since he’d felt that way.

Safe and comfortable and understood.

But he didn’t know how to ask for it, to reach for it, even if he knew Buck would give it gladly, without hesitation or complaint, and, because he didn’t know how to, he wouldn’t, couldn’t, do it.

Instead he’d take what they had, what they shared, and he would force himself to be content with it.

And he would pretend he was okay with it.

Chapter Text

Being a firefighter was, Buck quickly found, not always everything he had dreamed and hoped it would be.

Most calls he had experienced in his first few months were pretty standard, straightforward calls. Car accidents. Jumpers. Drowning victims. Everything the academy had tried their best to prepare new recruits for. But being called to an apartment building where a newborn baby had been flushed down a toilet and was trapped in the pipes had certainly not been something he was prepared for.

Helping Bobby and Chim get the baby, a little girl, breathing, hearing those tiny high pitched cries, had caused Buck’s heart to lurch more painfully than it had upon realizing that someone had just flushed their baby away like garbage. When they realized the elevator hadn’t been held, that the minutes it would take for it to reach their floor were minutes the infant may not have, Buck had taken her into his arms, tucking her tight and secure to his chest and raced down the stairs.

The last thing he had expected to happen, as he settled in the back of the ambulance, still cradling the baby tightly, was Athena to come rushing from the building, expecting him, expecting the team, to take the baby’s mother with them.

He had felt something in him crack then, old wounds reopening, old hurts he had thought long gone resurfaced, and he’d snapped without thinking or even realizing he was speaking until the venomous words were flying.

“Is that the mother?! No! Screw her!”

And of course that had led to a tense moment where Athena looked at him like he’d lost his mind before Bobby had intervened and, with help from Chim, loaded the mother into the ambulance. The ride was tense, Buck unable to settle, to get his mind back to the professional level he typically managed to keep it at while on a call and the entire time he felt Bobby’s gaze whenever it lingered on him. That sensation grew when, at the hospital, Buck handed the baby off, murmuring softly to her that it was going to be okay, that everybody was going to take really good care of her now.

He watched as the baby was whisked away, barely hearing Bobby say something about calling later to see if they could get an update on her, when, suddenly and unexpectedly, Athena’s cruise came pulling up in the space behind the ambulance.

“Buck!” Athena sounded pissed and that only served to agitate Buck further. “Boy, I do not care who you think you are, you do not get to decide who lives and who dies!”

“Really? Because from where I was standing that’s what that girl did when she flushed her baby down the freaking toilet!”

“Buck,” Bobby’s tone was reproachful and warning, a mix of Captain and father, but before he could say more Athena was firing back.

“That mother is no less of a child than her baby!”

“She abandoned her baby.” Buck’s hands clenched tight and he barely heard Bobby’s sharp intake as he took a bold, daring and possibly stupid step towards Athena who, in this moment, was not his friend but a cop. “Down a toilet. And don’t tell me she didn’t know she had better options, Sergeant, because she’s not enough of a child for that.”

Athena’s nostrils flared and, off to the side, Hen said the woman’s name in an attempt to defuse the situation before it got worse.

“She was scared and didn’t know what else to do. She deserves your compassion not your contempt.”

“No, she doesn’t.”

“Buck,” Bobby said again, firmer this time, but again neither Buck nor Athena seemed to hear him.

“She is…”

“She abandoned her baby!”

“And why exactly is it that you think you get to judge her for that, huh? Who made you judge and jury, Buck?”

“Because I was that baby!”

Buck’s shout rang loud, angry and painful, and he barely registered the shift in the air around them, barely heard Bobby say his name again, this time quieter, gentler, more a father than a captain, because the dam had finally burst and everything came rushing forth in a mix of anger and hurt that, even decades later, had never really healed or faded.

“I was that baby, abandoned and unwanted by the mother that was supposed to love me! Though I suppose in a way I was luckier. I wasn’t flushed down a fucking toilet like an unwanted piece of shit. I was just left at a goddamn bus stop with nothing but a fucking note and a backpack!”

Buck’s chest was heaving and his heart was racing and he glared at Athena even as, slowly, her gaze changed from its challenging, angry glare to one of surprise.

“Buck, sweetie,” Hen’s voice was soft, questioning, and when he looked at his friend, his co-worker, he found her and Chim staring at him wide eyed and with surprise and maybe a hint of sympathy.

Why?

Why were they looking at him like…

He felt the breath freeze in his lungs as the reality of what he had just done, what he had just revealed, slammed into him.

Athena knew he was adopted, she had known for years, but had never been told how Bobby and Marcy had come to adopt him after his abandonment and year in the foster care system. Hell, Hen and Chim hadn’t even known he was adopted until right now because it had never come up. Why would it? They knew he was Bobby’s son and that had been enough. Now, Buck had just spilled his guts and they were all looking at him like…like…

Buck thought he was going to puke.

“I’ll…uh…I’ll be…uh…” Buck muttered and, before anyone, especially Bobby, could stop him he all but ran for the truck.

The ride back to the station was quiet and tense.

Buck could tell Bobby wanted to say something. Could just sense it. But he just sat there, glaring out the window, pretending not to see the concerned way his Dad kept glancing back at him. And the minute they were back at the station, the second the truck rolled to a stop, Buck bolted once again. He stowed his gear and then, before anyone could see or stop him, he went to the roof.

It was quiet there. Calm in a way the rest of the station wasn’t. And it gave him space enough to, hopefully, get his head back on straight before going down to face the music so to speak.

He settled in his usual spot, tucked away behind an A/C unit that kept him relatively hidden should anyone come up to the roof access door, and just focused on his breathing. In and out. Nice and slow. Counting as he breathed, holding and then exhaling. Slowly, his heart stopped feeling like it was about to pound out of his chest and he felt the tension slowly ebb until he was slumped back against the side of the A/C unit. The tears, however, still slid silently down his face.

He had screwed up.

Big time.

He knew that.

Just like he knew that it was highly likely his Dad would have to discipline him for his behaviour. Hell, he’d probably get an official reprimand in his file for his unprofessional outburst. And he would deserve it. He’d let his history, his own personally crap, interfere with his job. It might be the first time it had ever happened but it had happened. He had let it happen.

Running a hand over his face, Buck tried to scrub the tears away, knowing he would have to go face the music eventually, preferably before another call came in and before Bobby decided to come looking for him. But he just couldn’t seem to find it in himself to stand up, to go search out his Dad and just get this nightmare over with already. He couldn’t bring himself to just rip the band-aid off.

“Buck?”

He flinched and looked up, finding Bobby just a few feet away, watching him like he was a spooked animal or something.

He didn’t reply, just sat there, looking up at his Dad, uncertain if this was about to be a conversation between him and his Dad or him and his Captain. He knew the odds leaned heavily towards the latter.

“Are you okay, kid?”

Buck gave a slight shrug and scrubbed at his face again.

“I screwed up,” he muttered, shaking his head. “I know that, I just…I don’t know…I didn’t mean…”

Bobby moved then, reaching out, hand gripping Buck’s shoulder as he crouched down in front of his son.

“Talk to me,” Bobby said gently but with a hint of authority. “We can work through this together.”

Buck said nothing for a long, tense few minutes and, when it became clear he wasn’t going to open up easily, Bobby spoke again.

“What happened today,” the man said, sounding more like Buck’s Captain than his Dad and Buck knew he had to. This was a work issue. Bobby had to be the Captain in this situation, not a father. “Buck, it was both unprofessional and concerning. We need to talk about it and figure out if it’s going to keep being a problem. We can’t let it fester.”

Buck gave a nod, he knew that, but it was just hard to get the words out.

“You can’t pick who we help, Buck,” Bobby continued. “It doesn’t matter what the situation is. We are meant to be impartial and to help anyone who needs up no matter what. If you can’t do that then…”

“It was one time,” Buck suddenly found himself snapping. “I just…that baby…and her mother and…I just…”

“You saw yourself in that baby.” Bobby nodded understandingly. “But Buck, I don’t think this is going to be just a one time thing. We’re going to encounter another situation where a kid has been abandoned and I can’t be left wondering if you’re going to be able to handle it or if you’re going to let your own history cloud your judgement.”

“I can handle…”

“I think maybe you should talk to someone,” Bobby pressed on as though Buck hadn’t said anything. “The department has some really good therapists and maybe it would help you to…”

Buck suddenly surged to his feet and brushed by Bobby.

“You want to put me back in therapy,” Buck spat, hands clenching at his sides, spinning to face Bobby as the man straightened. “We’ve been down that road.”

“And it helped,” Bobby stressed. “Buck…”

“Talking to a child therapist when I was seven is a little different than talking to someone who could potentially end my career, Dad!”

“They’re not going to…”

“But they could! They could end my career. Or sideline me to the point where I might as well not even have a career at all.”

“Evan.”

Bobby’s tone was sharper than before and Buck flinched slightly. He hadn’t heard that tone in a long time. The one that said it was time for Buck to stop speaking and start listening even if he didn’t want to. That it was time to stop acting like a kid throwing a tantrum and start acting like a mature adult.

“No one,” Bobby continued in the same tone. “Is going to end your career. Not for something like this. Not for trying to be a better you. But you…you need to stop acting like a scared little kid and start acting like the mature, confident, strong young man I know you are. You need to realize that bottling shit up isn’t any healthier now than it was when you were seven and people are only going to put up with you turning into an aggressive, miserable brat so long before they finally just walk away for good.”

Silence fell, sharp and brittle and tense, as Bobby and Buck stared at one another.

Something, a flicker or a shadow of the hurt his Dad’s words had just dealt, must have shown on Buck’s face because suddenly Bobby’s eyes started to widen and he went a little green around the gills.

“Evan…Buck…son, I…”

“We’re at work,” Buck quickly cut in, fighting back the hurt, knowing, deep down, that Bobby hadn’t meant to hurt him. His Dad was trying to make a point. But that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt like hell. “We agreed that…that at work…we were Captain and firefighter first. So…please…just…just keep to that.”

Buck’s hands clenched tightly at his sides and he fought down the trembling that was threatening to overtake him.

“So, please,” Buck continued. “Be my Captain. Not my Dad. Not right now.”

Bobby looked like he wanted to argue, like he wanted to reach out and hug Buck, like he wanted to do anything to make up for the hurt he knew he had just caused his son. But, thankfully, he did none of it.

“Alright,” Bobby finally said, giving a nod. “Alright, I’ll be your Captain.” He drew a deep breath, scrubbing a hand over his face. “Take the rest of shift off. I’m not going to write up today, even though I should, just…just consider it a pass. The only pass you will get. So…just go home, Buck.”

Buck ground his teeth together, fighting down the argument threatening to bubble up, the refusal to just roll over and accept this punishment. If he spoke he couldn’t guarantee that he wouldn’t just dig himself a deeper hole.

So, instead, he nodded and, without a word, brushed by Bobby and headed back inside, back downstairs to grab his stuff, pretending not to hear the quiet way Bobby said his name.

Chapter Text

Tim pulled into his driveway after a long shift to find Buck’s Jeep there.

Frowning, Tim glanced at his phone, wondering if he’d missed a call or text from the younger man only to find that, no, he hadn’t missed anything.

He knew that Buck had been scheduled to work a twenty-four hour shift and that the only reason he would be here and not at the 118 or at his dad’s was because something had happened. Something bad.

Tim hurried inside, dropping his bag by the door, moving through the house in search of Buck. Who, as it turned out, was in the living room, curled up on the couch, still in his uniform. Everything about the sight sent Tim’s protective instincts into overdrive and he hurried over.

“Buck?” Tim settled himself into the space in front of the couch, hovering more than sitting on the edge of the coffee table. “Buck? Hey, buddy, what’s wrong?”

Tim reached out to grip Buck’s shoulder just as Buck finally looked up at him.

It was clear from those puffy and red rimmed eyes that Buck had been crying, had clearly come here upset, add in the fact that he was still wearing his uniform made it clear that whatever had happened had happened during his shift and Tim let out a slow breath.

“Oh, Buck,” he said softly, grip tightening for a moment before his hand slid up to curl around Buck’s neck, thumb rubbing gentle circles at the corner of Buck’s jaw. “What happened?”

Fresh tears spilled down Buck’s cheeks and Tim’s heart lurched.

“Had a bad call,” Buck all but whispered. “Dad…he wasn’t happy. Sent me home.” He sniffled a bit. “Didn’t want to go to his place so I…I came here. Sorry.”

“Hey, no.” Tim shook his head. “I gave you the key for a reason. Hell, the spare bedroom might as well be yours at this point. I don’t care that you let yourself in or felt this was a better option than going to your dad’s place. I care about you and if you’re okay.”

Buck sniffled again, scrubbing a hand over his face, trying to wipe his tears away.

“Just…the call…it hit a little too close to home,” Buck explained. “And I…I sort of lost it.”

“Lost it how?”

“My parents adopted me. After I was abandoned. At a fucking bus station when I was three.” Buck shivered slightly and Tim wanted to pull him into a hug, to hold him tightly, but he held off, waiting, knowing there was more. “The call today…a girl flushed her newborn baby down a toilet like…like it didn’t matter. Like it wasn’t a living, breathing being. I…I didn’t handle it well. And then, when Athena confronted me, I…I…fuck…I just sort of screamed at her. Right in front of the team.”

Buck gave a humourless, dry and bitter laugh.

“Hell of a way to let them know I was adopted and…and all the rest of it.”

Buck shook his head.

“And then, once we were back to the station, Dad and I…it wasn’t pretty. He said some stuff and…and part of me knows he was just trying to help, he always just wants to help, but…but I’m not a little kid anymore no matter what he thinks. I don’t need to him to…to always try and fix everything. I’m okay.”

Buck’s words, his emphasis on being okay, told Tim more than the younger man probably realized. Tim could tell, just in these last few minutes, that Buck wasn’t okay. Not really. That the call, and Bobby’s mishandling of the situation after the fact, had deeply rattled him and left him in his current state. It both saddened and angered Tim to see Buck like that and part of him wanted to give Bobby a piece of his mind for being part of the problem. But he couldn’t, wouldn’t, put Buck in that position. So, instead, he would do what he could.

“Come on,” Tim said, moving so he could get his arm around Buck, gently pulling the younger man to his feet. “You’re going to take a shower while I get something for us to eat and then we’re going to find some mind numbing movie or show or something to watch and forget what a shit day this has been.”

Buck nodded but then frowned.

“I…I don’t have anything…just grabbed my jacket when I left the station.”

“That’s okay.” Tim rubbed his hand over Buck’s shoulder before giving him a gentle nudge towards the hallway. “You go get the shower going and I’ll grab you something.”

Buck gave another nod and Tim watched him disappear down the hallway before heading for his bedroom to grab something. He settled on a pair of pyjama pants and one of his old Army t-shirts, both soft and comfortable, before heading to the bathroom, tapping lightly on the door before stepping in.

Buck was down to just his pants, the shower beating down steadily and steam starting to waft upwards, and Tim had to pretend his heart didn’t speed up at the sight.

Setting the clothes on the counter by the sink, Tim forced himself to look at Buck’s face and only Buck’s face.

“How does Alexander’s sound,” Tim asked and Buck finally gave a small smile that actually reached his eyes and, in turn, Tim grinned. “Blackened ribeye with mash and blue cheese?”

Buck’s stomach gave a loud growl and while his cheeks turned an adorable shade of pink Tim chuckled.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Tim said, still grinning. “I’ll go order.”

“Thanks, Tim.”

Buck’s voice was still quiet, soft, but the genuine appreciation still shone through and Tim gave Buck a smile.

“Any time, buddy.”

He left the bathroom then, the door closing quietly behind him, and drew a deep breath, calming himself before moving back for the living room, digging his cell phone from his pocket and calling in the order for him and Buck. The overly bubbly girl who took his order cheerfully told him with delivery it would be little over an hour and he thanked her before hanging up. He had just stepped around the couch, wondering if he could find one of those goofy cartoon comedies that Buck loved so much when, suddenly, Buck’s phone, which had been left on the coffee table, began vibrating.

Frowning, Tim glanced at it, at the contact info flashing across the screen.

Dad

Tim stood there, silent and debating what to do and, in the end, just watched until the screen went dark.

Drawing another breath, Tim glanced towards the hall, listening to the distant sound of the shower still running, before stepping completely around the couch and grabbing up Buck’s phone. And, even though he knew he shouldn’t, that he was easily breaking Buck’s trust in him, he checked Buck’s call log and messages.

Ten missed calls from Bobby, four voicemails, and over a dozen unanswered texts.

Clearly, Bobby was worried about Buck but, Tim thought, it was quite telling that Buck hadn’t answered or replied. It spoke to Buck’s state of mind and his current feelings towards his father. He was hurting, Bobby had hurt him, intentionally or not, and now, though he might not see it that way, Buck was hurting Bobby right back. And, part of Tim, the part that still clung to his own bitterness over his relationship with his own father, couldn’t fault Buck for it. And that same part of him knew he could be the bad guy on Buck’s behalf.

So, even knowing it could likely cause Buck to be upset with him, even knowing it wasn’t really his place, he sent Bobby a quick text.

Stop calling. Stop texting. I’m fine. With a friend. Need some time.

And with that, he turned Buck’s phone off and returned it to the coffee table.

Buck didn’t need to be dealing with any more today. He didn’t need to be fielding his father’s guilty conscience. And he certainly didn’t need to play the martyr and make all that had happened today his fault and give apologies that, really, should have been given to him.

Because, to Tim at least, Buck was not the one in the wrong.

Bobby, as Buck’s father and, more importantly, as his Captain, was.

Bobby should have had the sense to see or even suspect how a call involving an abandoned child would affect Buck. The man should have seen the warning signs from the start and pulled Buck from the call. The minute things had started to go sideways for Buck, the minute it became clear that Buck could not separate his personal feelings from the professional, he should have done his damn job as Captain and benched Buck.

Tim knew it wasn’t easy, making that call, hell, when he’d first become a training officer it had been hard to admit when someone was not fit or cut out for the job, but sometimes you had to do it. For the good of the person. And for yourself.

If Bobby couldn’t do that for Buck, if he couldn’t find a way to be impartial, to be professional, then maybe Buck should be at a different station.

He was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of the bathroom door opening and approaching footsteps.

“Hey,” Buck’s voice was soft but he didn’t sound quite so lost now. “Thanks for suggesting the shower. Didn’t realize I needed it so badly.”

Tim grinned a bit as he turned, about to tell Buck that it was the least he could do, only to find his words sticking in his throat. He hadn’t thought anything of loaning Buck some of his clothes but seeing Buck in his t-shirt, that old, worn Army t-shirt he’d worn countless times both overseas and at home, suddenly had his heart racing and his mouth going dry.

Buck looked damn good in that shirt. Really good.

Clearing his throat, Tim nodded towards the couch.

“You pick something to watch,” he said, still grinning, silently reminding himself that Buck was his friend. Just his friend. “Food should be here in a little bit.”

Buck nodded and moved to take his usual spot on the couch.

Tim saw him glance at his cell phone, could almost see the silent debate going on behind those bright eyes, before Buck reached out and picked up the remote.

“You joining me or what,” Buck asked, snapping Tim out of his own thoughts and Tim huffed a chuckle.

“Yeah,” Tim said. “Yeah, I’m joining you.”

Tim settled next to Buck easily, just like always, and let his arm rest along the back of the couch so his fingers brushed against Buck’s neck. He didn’t really pay all that much attention to whatever show Buck had picked, something bright and colourful with magic and trolls, instead he kept stealing glances at Buck who, thankfully, looked relaxed and comfortable and better than he had when Tim had gotten home.

They were six episodes in when the food arrived, show paused while Tim went to answer the door and Buck went to get a blanket from Tim’s closet.

Tim had just returned to the living room, had just set the takeout containers down, when he heard something hit the floor elsewhere in the house and, immediately, turned and headed in that direction.

“Buck?” He called out, hearing Buck’s movements in the bedroom. “You okay?”

Tim stepped into the room to find Buck kneeling on the floor, holding and surround by postcards that, for so long, had been tucked away into an old shoebox on the closet shelf. A shelf where Tim had also kept the thick, weighted grey blanket that Buck tended to favour whenever he wasn’t in the sunniest of moods. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that the box had probably been knocked down when Buck grabbed the blanket.

The problem, Tim thought, was that Buck was kneeling there, staring at the postcards he was holding like he couldn’t understand what he was looking at.

“Buck,” Tim said softly, moving to kneel next to Buck, who was still looking at the postcards. “Buck, I…”

“You kept all of these?”

Buck finally looked up at him and though there was confusion in his eyes Tim could also see a glimmer of hope. Of something he was too afraid to give a name to in case he was reading things wrong.

“I guess,” Tim said, watching as Buck looked down, shuffling through the postcards, stopping at the one from that sunny little seaside town where Buck had started his journey of self discovery. “Buck, are you…are you okay?”

Buck blinked, fingers running over the writing on the postcard, his writing, and then those bright blue eyes lifted to Tim’s face again.

“You kept all of them.”

Tim felt his heart start to beat a little bit faster as he nodded like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Of course I did,” he replied. “It’s you.”

He found himself reaching up and cupping Buck’s cheek.

“They’re you,” he said softly. “Little pieces of you that I was able to…to hold onto. Little Little pieces that kept me sane and gave me hope when things got tough.” He smiled gently then. “They’re you, Evan. They’re you.”

The kiss was unexpected but feeling Buck’s lips against his, feeling the younger man’s hands clutching at him, hearing the breathless sound Buck made, had Tim sinking his hands into Buck’s curls and he kissed back before he realized what they were doing and started to pull back.

“Buck…”

Buck kissed him again, quick and chaste, and then again and again. Small, butterfly kisses that had Tim’s heart racing and his hands tightening in Buck’s hair.

“Buck,” he all but whispered, shivering at the taste of Buck’s lips.

“I know,” Buck whispered back, placing another of those tiny kisses to the corner of Tim’s mouth. “I know we shouldn’t. Bad headspace. Bad day. I know. But I…I…”

Buck kissed him again and Tim couldn’t help the way he chased after Buck’s lips when the younger man pulled back.

“I love you,” Tim whispered, looking Buck in the eye, seeing that same glimmer of hope from earlier. “I…I’ve been in love with you for a while. And I want this, want you, I swear I do. I swear. But this…maybe not tonight, okay? Not after everything you went through today.”

The hope never faded from Buck’s eyes as he nodded, hands still clutching at Tim, suddenly leaning forward to press his forehead to Tim’s.
“Okay.” Buck gave the smallest of smiles and it took every ounce of Tim’s self-control not to kiss him again. “Okay.”

“We’re good, Buck,” Tim reassured him, fingers starting to comb through Buck’s hair gently. “We’re good.”

Buck’s smile slowly widened and Tim found himself smiling too as he wrapped his arms around the younger man to hold him tight, pressing a quick kiss to Buck’s temple as he felt Buck’s arms wrap just as tightly around him.

Chapter Text

Things after that night didn’t change overly much, not as far as Buck was concerned.

He and Tim had talked, at length, the next morning about what happened next. It was easier, now that they knew of their shared affections, and, in the end, they were going to try. Together they would try. They deserved, Buck had said when Tim had still been a bit hesitant, a chance to be happy. To be loved. They deserved that. Tim had hugged him, kissed him, and in that moment Buck knew they would be okay. It would be them against whatever the world threw at them. They would be okay.

Returning to work for his next shift, Buck wasn’t surprised that everyone acted a little different around him, seemed to keep an eye on him or being uncertain what to say. Whether that was because of his outburst or because of Bobby, he couldn’t say with any certainty, but he tried not to let it bother him. So what if Hen and Chimney knew he was adopted, so what if they knew he’d been abandoned as a kid, that couldn’t affect the job unless he let it and he wasn’t going to let it. They were a team and they worked best if they weren’t tiptoeing around one another. So he acted like he had before, like everything was okay, was normal, and, after a few days, Hen and Chimney seemed to get the message and did the same.

Things with Bobby had been a little tense for a few weeks.

Buck had gone to his Dad and apologized for his behaviour and his outburst, his attitude after that fateful call had been unacceptable from a professional standpoint, he could and did acknowledge that, but he also held firmly to Tim’s voice in his head reminding him that, as his Captain, his Dad had a responsibility to him to recognize situations that may potentially do him more psychological and emotional harm than it would others and to act accordingly. The conversation had gone about as well as Buck had expected, though it hadn’t ended in a shouting match like the last time, but in the end he and Bobby were a little tense around one another.

A tension that seemed to deepen when Buck told the man he was moving to his own place. That it was time they have personal space away from one another. That maybe not living together would help with their working relationship.

Of course he failed to mention that moving to his own place really meant moving in with his new boyfriend because, honestly, his relationship with Tim wasn’t quite in that place yet where he wanted to share it. Hell, he wasn’t even going to be sleeping in the same bed as Tim, not all the time anyways. The spare room, now officially Buck’s room, was going to be his personal space, his safe space in the house, at least until they decided otherwise.

It wasn’t until an incident, a call out but not really a call out, where Buck used the fire truck and hose to save Athena from a home invader that tried to escape, that things started to look up again. Things were a little less tense with Bobby, heck, Hen and Chimney were back to their teasing, older sibling attitudes, and things at home, with Tim, were amazing. It was all a little too perfect so, naturally, the universe decided to give Buck a kick in the teeth to remind him how shitty it could be.

He lost his fist victim.

A young man, Devon, had been involved in a horrifying rollercoaster accident that had left his friend dead and himself dangling, struggling to hold onto the lap bar as Buck had tried to reassure him that all he had to do was reach out, that he wouldn’t let Devon fall.

And, for whatever reason, Devon had just let go.

Buck hadn’t coped with that very well and when Bobby suggested he talk to one of the department’s therapists he had agreed because he knew he couldn’t bottle up what had happened. Hell, he’d frozen up on a call because of what had happened with Devon. So he’d done as Bobby asked and went to see the therapist.

His meeting with Dr Wells was short.

And not at all what he had expected.

When he left her office he didn’t really remember walking back to his Jeep or driving to the Mid-Wilshire Division or walking into the building. It wasn’t until the officer behind the desk, a charming middle aged woman whose nametag read Watson, smiled and asked how she could help him that realty seemed to come sharply back into focus. And while part of him wanted to run, to forget anything had happened, chalk this all up to one big misunderstanding, he knew he couldn’t.

“I need to speak to Officer Tim Bradford, please,” Buck heard himself say but it felt like someone else was speaking. “Tell him…Tell him it’s Evan and it’s…it’s important. It’s really important.”

Officer Watson regarded him for a moment, seeming to be looking for something, something she must have found because her gaze softened a touch and she nodded before grabbing the phone. She spoke to someone, someone likely elsewhere in the building, for a minute before hanging up and giving Buck her undivided attention.

“He’ll be right out.” She stood and slowly came around the desk, leaving her fellow officers to tend it, and gestured towards some chairs. “Why don’t we sit down, hon? You look almost ready to shake out of your skin.”

Was he shaking?

Buck glanced down at his hands and found that, yes, yes he was shaking. Pretty badly in fact.

It was a miracle he’d managed to drive here without causing an accident.

He let Officer Watson guide him to a chair, sitting there with her, barely hearing her tell him it was okay, that whatever was going on it was all going to be okay.

“Buck?”

Tim’s voice drew Buck’s attention, helped pull him out of whatever state of shock he’d been slipping in and out of since leaving Dr Wells’ office, and he let that ground him in the here and now.

“Tim, I…”

Buck could finally feel the shaking now, could feel how cold and clammy he was, and he knew from the look on Tim’s face that he looked rough.

“It’s alright,” Tim moved until he was crouching in front of Buck, hand gripping his shoulder, gaze taking stock of the younger man, searching for obvious signs of injury. “It’s alright. I got you, you’re safe, it’s alright.”

Tim’s hand squeezed Buck’s shoulder.

“Just take a big, deep breath for me, okay? Can you do that, Buck?”

Buck gave a shaky nod and, with some effort, managed to draw in a long, deep breath. It helped. So he did it again and again, earning a small nod of approval and another squeeze to his shoulder.

“That’s it,” Tim said. “That’s it. Now, can you tell me what’s going on?”

Buck could feel his hands still shaking and part of him still wanted to just run away, pretend none of this hand happened, but Tim’s hand on his shoulder was a comforting weight, a reminder that he wasn’t alone, that he had a support system that loved him and would help him deal with this. No matter what.

“I…” Buck felt his mouth and throat go dry and he swallowed reflexively. “I…I think I need to…report…a crime. I just…I don’t…”

Tim’s hand squeezed his shoulder again and Buck met the man’s calm, steady gaze and felt his heart, which had felt like it was trying to hammer its way out of his chest, start to calm.

“It’s okay, Buck,” Tim reassured him. “Just take your time.”

Buck nodded and drew another slow, deep breath.

It took him a minute, maybe longer, he couldn’t really be certain, but, finally, he managed to force the words out.

“I…I’m pretty sure that…that the therapist I saw today…she…uhh…she…” He felt the tears suddenly fill his eyes, making them hot and itchy, and when he blinked they glided silently down his face. “She assaulted me.”

He felt Tim’s hand tighten just a little on his shoulder, the man’s face giving nothing away, always so stoic, but Buck saw the way Tim’s eyes blazed.

“Okay,” Tim replied, voice calm, professional, and Buck couldn’t say why that was so comforting but it was. “Okay, before we go any further, Buck, I think we should take this somewhere a little more secure.”

Buck nodded, not really understanding why that mattered, but he stood and followed Tim through a set of doors and further into the station, barely noticing the compassionate look Officer Watson gave him.

Tim led him to an interview room, getting him to sit, telling him he’d be right back, he was just going to grab Buck a bottle of water, and Buck waited, more than a little anxious, until, after what felt like forever, Tim returned. But he wasn’t alone.

“Buck,” Tim spoke as he shut the door behind himself and the other officer, moving to set a bottle of water on the table in front of Buck. “This is Officer Angela Lopez. She’s a friend and I trust her completely. Is it okay if she’s the one to take your statement?”

Buck frowned, momentarily confused, before it hit him.

He and Tim were involved and, whether it was new or not, it could be seen as a conflict of interest for Tim to investigate.

Slowly, Buck nodded and the woman, Angela, gave him a gentle smile as she settled into a chair across from him while Tim took the one beside him.

“Hi, Buck,” she started. “Is it okay if I call you Buck?”

Buck nodded again and that gentle smile never wavered.

“Okay, Buck,” she spoke as she flipped open the plain manila folder she had been carrying, pulling a pen from her pocket and Buck realized there were some sort of forms in the folder. “Now, some of this is just formality but I need your full name.”

“Evan Nash,” Buck answered in a flat tone.

Angela filled in the proper spot on the form.

“Date of birth and current address of residence?”

“June 27, 1992. Uh, I just moved in with my…my new partner and haven’t gotten around to updating my address so I’m not sure…do I give you that or…”

“Just put down mine, Lopez,” Tim cut in and if that information surprised her Angela didn’t show it, she merely gave a nod and wrote it down.

“Okay, Buck,” Angela continued. “Tim told me that you came in to report an assault. Are you able to tell me who the victim was or who the assailant was?”

Buck, hands twisting around the unopened bottle of water, gave a shaky nod.

“I…I’m the victim,” he said, voice suddenly quiet, like if he said it too loud it would do something. Angela’s pen scratched almost loudly against the paper. “And…And the assailant…the assailant was…was Rachael Wells…uh…Doctor Rachael Wells.”

Angela’s pen hovered over the form after writing down Wells’ name, a frown starting to grace her face and she looked up at Buck.

“What kind of doctor is she?”

Buck found himself fishing the business card from his pocket and sliding it across the table and he saw the way Angela’s nose wrinkled before she smoothed her features back into that carefully neutral but kind expression.

“I…I’m a firefighter,” he explained. “And I…I lost someone…and my Captain sent me to her to…to talk…to get help.”

Angela nodded, making another note on the paper, placing the card on the corner of the folder.

“When did you see her for the first time?”

“About twenty minutes before I walked into this station.”

Angela’s head lifted and she exchanged a look with Tim, a silent conversation happening between them, before she looked at Buck again.

“Can you describe that meeting for me, Buck? As much detail as you can?”

Buck felt himself start to shake again and wasn’t surprised when Tim took his hand.

“It’s okay,” Tim reassured him. “You’re safe here. You’re safe and Angela is going to do everything she can to help you, okay?”

Buck drew a slow breath before nodding, slowly turning his attention back to Angela.

“I…I arrived for my appointment and she…she seemed familiar.” His knee started to bounce nervously. “She friended me on Facebook a few days ago. Saw me on the news or something and…and thought…I don’t know…it…it seemed odd…especially when she said she recognized me.”

Angela wrote quickly.

“So she admitted to having recognized you, having reached out to you on social media, and still took you on as a patient?”

“Yeah.” Buck licked his suddenly dry lips. “She…She was…weird? I dunno…I was getting uncomfortable…the way she looked at me…the way she talked…and then…I…I’m not really sure what happened. I was sitting there and then…then…”

The words felt like they were sticking his throat and Angela was quick to reassure him that it was okay, to just take his time, that there was no rush for this.

“She…She took off her blouse,” Buck finally said, squeezing Tim’s hand hard. “And she sat in my lap. She…She wasn’t wearing anything beneath…beneath her skirt…and she…she unzipped my jeans and…”

He felt the tears glide down his face, felt shame and guilt and disgust burn through him even though the rational part of him, made small by those raging feelings, knew none of this was his fault.

“I didn’t want it,” he heard himself whisper, words a ragged, gasping sob. “I didn’t…I went to her for help not…not that.”

Angela’s gaze was so kind, so sympathetic, and he knew, somehow, that she hated saying what she said next.

“I’m sorry to do this, Buck, but I need you to clarify what you mean when you say you didn’t want that.”

Buck squeezed his eyes shut for a moment.

“I didn’t want to have sex with her,” he all but shouted, voice stronger, angrier, than it had been since walking into the police station. “I went there for help! I needed her help and she…she decided that sex was how to help me and then she had the nerve to tell me that…that it was better if I found another therapist and that…that if I told anyone she’d be in trouble. But she…she made it sound like it was my fault. Like I wanted her to…but…but I didn’t! I didn’t!”

“I believe you, Buck.” Angela’s voice was honest and Buck hiccupped slightly. “I believe you and I am going to do everything in my power to help you get justice and make sure that this woman never does anything like this to anyone ever again.”

Fresh tears rolled silently down Buck’s cheeks.

“Thank you,” he whispered. “Thank you, for…for believing me.”

Angela nodded before getting him to read over his statement and sign it, she then asked him to wait a minute while she checked something in their system, asking Tim to come with her real quick. Tim hesitated a moment before assuring Buck he’d be right back and following Angela out of the room.

Tim waited until the door was shut before he turned his attention to Angela.

“You know something,” he said, eyebrow arching slightly, knowing Angela well enough to know when she was holding something back. “What’s going on?”

Angela led Tim to the desks shared by all the training officers, dropping into a chair and bringing up the records on the computer.

“Did you know Dr Wells is a therapist approved not only by the LAFD but by LAPD too?”

Tim frowned.

“Where is this going, Lopez?”

Angela brought up three case files she was named as the lead officer on.

“I recognized her name because in the last month there have been three complaints against the woman,” she explained, opening the files so they all filled the computer screen, watching as Tim leaned in to get a better look. “Two firefighters and a rookie from SWAT. Buck makes number four.”

Tim frowned and looked at her.

“You caught the other three complaints?”

Angela shook her head.

“Just the SWAT rookie, but the minute I logged it into the system I got a call from a Detective Ransone. He’s building a pretty solid case against her. I’m just sorry he didn’t have her collared before this. I’m sorry Buck had to go through what he did.”

“You’ll loop him in on this then,” Tim asked, knowing she would, Angela was one of the best officers he had ever worked with and given the nature of this case she would followed the book to the letter.

“Yeah,” Angela confirmed. “I just wanted to give you a heads up so you can give one to Buck. Good chance even with my report Ransone will want to talk to Buck himself.”

“No doubt.”

Tim knew that Ransone would most definitely want to talk to Buck. He knew how this worked after all. The more victims to come forward the stronger the case. Especially when it showed a pretty serious pattern.

Knowing that there was already an investigation into the woman did little to help calm Tim’s anger but he knew Buck didn’t need him to be angry right now. He needed him calm and understanding and ready to just stand by his side while he navigated the course ahead. So, no matter how much he wanted to storm into Wells’ office and arrest her right now, Tim knew he had to focus on Buck, and only Buck, right now.

“I’m going back to Buck,” he said as he finally turned back towards the interview room. “Let me know what Ransone says.”

Angela nodded and watched him go before picking up her phone.

The next little while was not going to be easy for Evan Nash, she thought as she waited for the call to connect. But at least he wasn’t facing it alone. He had Tim and, as far as she was concerned, he couldn’t ask for a better man to be in his corner.

Chapter Text

If there was one thing Lou Ransone hated as a cop it was seeing good people hurt.

When he got the call from Officer Lopez he had instructed her to keep Buck, and really what inspired a nickname like Buck, there if she could and had raced over to the Mid-Wilshire Division. Yes, he had the statements of three other men, but they had all waited days or weeks to report the incidents, Buck was the only one to report it so quickly and that meant, awful as it was, that he would be the best of the witnesses.

Meeting with the young man, Lou had been prepared for another male victim trying to play tough, trying to act like the assault hadn’t affected them, toxic masculinity at its finest, and instead had been greeted with a hurting young man who was clearly afraid no one would believe him or that he would be in trouble for what had happened.

He’d re-interviewed Buck, apologizing for the necessity of it, but Buck had expressed a quiet understanding and answered all his questions. Had even agreed, given how little time had passed between the initial assault and him reporting it, to go to a hospital and have samples taken. It wouldn’t prove assault per say but it would prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that a therapist had stupidly slept with a patient. And right now it was enough for him.

Afterwards, evidence and report in hand, Lou had return to his station, to his office, to update his case files and contact the district attorney who had been working with him on it all.

“Given Mr Nash didn’t wait to report the incident it shouldn’t be too difficult to convince Judge Henderson to give us the warrant we need,” DA Byers was saying and even over the phone Lou could hear her fingers flying over the keys of her laptop, no doubt making her own notes about the cases.

“Why Henderson?”

Not that Lou cared much about the judge but Byers sounded determined to go to the man.

“Henderson has a personal interest in bringing medical professionals who assault their patients to justice. Trust me, Ransone, Henderson is the one we want to go to with this. He won’t just give us the warrant, Ransone, he will fight tooth and nail to be the one to bring it to trial.”

“Assuming we go to trial.”

“Trust me,” Byers said. “With Henderson, it will go to trial.”

“Good,” Lou replied. “These men deserve justice for what this woman did to them.”

Byers hummed in agreement and he heard her click at something on her laptop.

“Well that was quicker than I expected,” she said, sounding surprised but pleased. “Henderson signed off on the warrant. I’m sending them to you now.” His phone binged with the email notification and a quick check confirmed the digital copies of the warrant. “And I will have an officer meet you at Wells’ office with hardcopies.”

“Thank you, Byers.”

“You can thank me by getting this woman off the street and away from any more potential victims, Ransone.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Lou grinned a bit, ending the call and grabbing his gear, heading out of the office, shouting for one of the patrol officers to join him as backup, giving the man a brief rundown of the situation on the way to Wells’ office.

He wasn’t surprised that an officer was already waiting by the front of the building, handing over the warrant with a nod before following Lou and the other officer inside.

Wells’ assistant looked taken aback by the three LAPD officers standing on the other side of her desk, but she was polite as she explained the doctor was just finishing up a session with a patient. Lou frowned, wondering if Wells was in the midst of yet another assault, but before he could instruct the assistant that it would be in everyone’s best interest if she fetched Wells’ the door to the woman’s office opened and she, as well as a young woman, emerged.

“It’s okay, Jesse,” the woman who must have been Wells said, lightly touching the younger woman’s arm. “We’ll continue next week, okay?”

The younger woman nodded, glancing nervously at the officers, before hurrying out of the office.

Wells smiled slightly as she approached Lou and the officers.

“Sorry if you were waiting long, officers,” she said in a charmingly professional manner. “Is there something we can help you with?”

“Ma’am, I’m Detective Ransone with the LAPD,” Lou asked, needing to verify that she was indeed who they were looking for. “Are you Doctor Rachael Wells?”

“Yes,” the woman nodded and exchanged a brief look with her assistant. “Yes, I’m Doctor Wells. What’s going on?”

Lou pulled the handcuffs from his belt.

“Rachael Wells, I’m placing you under arrest for sexual assault. Please turn around and place your hands behind your back.”

“What?” Wells’ voice rose sharply and she looked at him with wide eyes and shaking her head. “What are you…What the hell are you talking about?!”

“Doctor Wells, if you could turn around and place your hands behind your back.”

Lou stepped towards her, catching her arm before she could step away from him or react, gently spinning her, continuing to speak as he slipped one cuff around her wrist.

“You have the right to remain silent. If you give up that right anything you say can and may be used in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney one will be appointed for you.”

He cuffed her other wrist even as she began stammering, claiming to not understand, that they were making a mistake.

“Doctor Wells,” Lou cut her off as he carefully turned her back around to face him. “Do you understand your rights as I have explained them to you?”

“I…I…” Wells’ glanced at her assistant who just stood there, staring wide eyed and shocked at the situation unfolding before her. “Yes, yes I understand my rights but I don’t…I don’t understand why I’m being arrested!”

“As I already explained, Doctor Wells,” Lou said, holding up the warrant he had. “You are under arrest for sexually assaulting a number of your patients. I also have a warrant here to seize any and all electronic devices, personal and professional, from your office and home, as well as records pertaining to the four victims in question.”

“I…You can’t…” Wells’ started but Lou shook his head.

“According to this warrant, I can,” Lou reminded, guiding Wells’ to one of the officers to escort to the car. “Officer Newman, please escort Doctor Wells to the car. We’ll be along as soon as we secure the scene.”

The officer in question nodded and walked Wells, who was still sputtering and acting confused about the entire situation, out of the office.

Lou waited a moment before turning to Wells’ assistant. There was still work that needed to be done here.

By the time Lou made it back to the station, he could not say his mood was the best.

Wells’ assistant, Hannah, had been extremely cooperative and given him what the warrant covered. When she had fetched the patient files, Lou had been surprised to find they contained little by the way of information beyond the initial intake forms and brief notes about the first, and only, session Wells’ had with each of the men. And those brief notes read practically word for word. Four men had seen Wells, all under mandatory order from their superior, to deem whether they were fit for duty and all four had been returned to their respective jobs after just one session with clean bills of mental health.

Lou was no therapist but even he was smart enough to know you couldn’t judge a person’s mental health that quickly.

It was then that Hannah had given him what he suspected would be the nail in Wells’ coffin. If not criminally than at least professionally.

He had spent the last few hours running down the lead and updating Byers, who was waiting for him as he entered the station.

“Byers,” he greeted with a nod, not surprised to see she already had files in hand.

“Wells’ lawyer is already with her,” Byers said, handing Lou some of the files. “And I have to say, Ransone, I was a little wary when you told me who your source was but given everything your people found because of her, I think she may just be my new best friend.”

Lou huffed and flipped quickly through the files, even though he was already up to speed on what they contained, as they walked together to the interrogation room.

Stepping into that room, seeing Wells’ sitting across the table looking like this was just an inconvenience for her, served as fuel to Lou’s fire and he made certain to shut the door with a little more force than was strictly necessary just to rattle Wells’ just a bit.

“Doctor Wells’,” Lou spoke as he and Byers moved to take their seats at the table. “We’ve already met but for the sake of the record, and your lawyer, I’m Detective Lou Ransone and this is District Attorney Byers.”

“I’m Jerry Platt,” Wells’ lawyer spoke, voice only a little shaky and Lou studied him for a moment, pegging him as the sort of lawyer who typically dealt with matters like drawing up wills rather than the crimes his client had been arrested for. “I’m Miss Wells’ attorney.”

“I’d say it’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr Platt, but given the circumstances that may seem disingenuous.” Lou flipped open the first file he hand, the one with photos of the four men who had come forward. “Doctor Wells, do you know this man?”

He held up the photograph of the first victim and saw Wells’ eyes widened just a touch. She exchanged a look with her lawyer, who nodded, before she spoke.

“His name is John Stewart,” Wells’ said, hands folded neatly on the table in front of her.

“And how do you know Mr Stewart?”

“He…He was a patient.”

“Hmm.” Lou nodded, picking up the next photo. “And this man? Do you recognize this man?”

“Martin Brewer.”

“Also a former patient?”

Wells nodded and Lou reached for the next photograph.

“And this one?”

“James Street.”

“And I take it he’s also a former patient?”

Wells was starting to look nervous now but she nodded again and Lou had to fight back the urge to grin as he picked up the last photograph.

“And what about this young man, Doctor Wells? Do you know who this young man is?”

He watched Wells’ eyes widen more and saw the small flicker of fear that danced across her face.

“Doctor Wells,” he prompted. “Do you know this man?”

“He…His name is…” She licked her lips, suddenly fidgeting with her fingers. “His name is Evan Nash.”

“And he was a patient as well?”

“Yes,” Wells’ tone shifted then and Lou could hear the defensiveness starting to bleed through. “He was.”

Lou nodded, sharing a brief look with Byers who had yet to say anything, letting him take the lead for now.

“He, like Stewart, Brewer and Street, was mandated to you, correct?” Lou tucked the four photographs back into their folder, setting it aside as he reached for another. “In order to judge if he was fit for active duty?”

Wells began to fidget a little more.

“Yes. Yes, they were all referred to me.”

“Can you tell us then, Miss Wells,” Byers finally spoke, drawing Wells’ attention. “Knowing their superiors were worried about their mental state, and given their high stress professions, why you only had one session with each of these men before signing off on their return to their respective duties?”

“I…” Wells swallowed nervously. “Well…I saw no reason for the concern. They…They were all perfectly capable of returning to active duty.”

“Hmm.” Byers flipped open one of the folders, moving file after file into Wells’ line of sight. “And what about Henry, Tattler, Bishop, Hawkins, Donovan and about fifteen other men from the LAPD and LAFD that you cleared in the last six months for duty after just one single session? I’ve personally spoken with two other department approved therapists and they both agreed that, at best, this is negligence on your part and, at worst, a woeful disregard not only for the health and safety of the men in question but for the citizens of Los Angeles.”

“Now, wait just a moment,” Platt butted in. “My client…”

“Has just admitted to sending, at the very least, four first responders back into the line of duty without proper care,” Lou fired off, refusing to let this little unprepared weasel try and talk his way around this. “And, on top of that, those four men reported her for sexual assault.”

“I did not assault anyone!”

Wells’ shout was piercing, brittle and Lou watched as Platt settled his client before picking up the file for Buck.

“Tell me, Doctor Wells,” Lou said, showing her lawyer the police report. “When you met with Mr Nash earlier today did you have sex with him?”

Wells’ eyes went wide and again her lawyer attempted to interject on her behalf but Byers spoke over him.

“We have samples of vaginal fluid from Mr Nash,” Byers spoke coldly. “I’m sure the lab will be easily able to match Miss Wells’ DNA to it.” She smiled sharply. “Oh, and even if you try claiming it was consensual, Miss Wells, given that at the time you were acting as his therapist that is a serious breach of ethics. Not to mention the law.”

Wells’ was starting to breath a little quickly, her anger and fear beginning to slip through more and more, but Lou wasn’t done. Not quite yet. He flipped open a file and pulled out another photograph.

“Do you recognize this man, Doctor Wells?” Lou held it up for Wells’ to look at. He saw the recognition in her eyes even as she hesitated to reply. “No? Well, let me refresh your memory.”

He set the photograph aside and picked up the report that accompanied it.

“Officer Kayce Hudson was involved in a shooting that left him injured and his patrol partner dead. When it became apparent this incident was affecting his duties his chief sent him to you. That was six months ago.” Lou laid the report on the table, watching as Platt picked it up and begin reading over it. “You saw him for all of, what, twenty minutes? And then you signed off on his return to full and active duty?”

Lou picked up another photograph from the file.

“Would you like to see what Officer Hudson looked like two days later, Doctor Wells?”

He laid the photograph in front of her and she let out a startled shriek.

“Officer Hudson, you see,” Lou said, uncaring when Platt barked at him for being so crass and terrible as to show that sort of photograph. “Went back to work not twenty-four hours after you cleared him for duty, and, the morning after his shift, he got up and stuck his service weapon in his mouth and, in front of his wife and their two-year-old son, blew his brains all over the kitchen.”

“Detective Ransone!” Platt actually looked angry then and Lou took that as a small victory. “That is entirely unprofessional and…”

“And what? You think it’s unrelated that your client cleared a cop for duty, gave him a clean bill of health after speaking to him for only twenty minutes, and not forty-eight hours he commits suicide? You think she didn’t miss some very big warning signs about Officer Hudson? Because while I can’t charge her for murder I can charge her for negligent homicide.”

“What?!” Wells was suddenly out of her chair, which caused Platt to grab her arm, trying to calm her, to get her to sit back down. “I didn’t kill that man!”

“But you did have sex with him.”

“NO!” Wells shook her head, fighting against Platt. “No, I…”

“We have a witness, Miss Wells,” Byers cut the other woman off, earning a wide eyed look. “We have evidence of a pattern of behaviour, we have men, ten of them right now but I imagine that number will grow once news of your arrest breaks on the evening news, willing to go on record and testify in a court of law about what you did to them.”

Byers stood then, a power play at this point, glaring at Wells with a cold, almost cruel, smile.

“We have you for multiple counts of sexual assault, assault and battery, as well gross misconduct all of which we have reported to the medical board who have already begun an investigation of their own.” Byers enjoyed watching Wells begin to squirm. “So, Miss Wells, I do hope whatever thrill you got out of what you did to all those men was worth it. Because I am about to make it my personal mission to ensure you see the inside of prison for what you’ve done.”

Lou watched as Byers gathered up the files and left the room.

He watched as Platt swallowed nervously, a hint of fear in his eyes, before the lawyer drew a breath and looked at Lou even as Wells began to tremble, dropping back into her chair as though the weight of her situation had finally caught up with her.

“I suppose then,” Platt said wearily, taking his seat once again. “That the chance of a deal is off the table.”

Lou huffed and stood, giving Wells and her lawyer a cold stare.

“I’d say so,” he replied, leaving the room, ordering an office to escort Wells to booking as soon as she was done talking with her lawyer.

He needed to speak to Byers again before going and making some phone calls. Wells’ victims deserved to know they were going to get some justice.

Chapter Text

When the call from Detective Ransone came, Tim was alone in the living room, Buck having disappeared to hide in his room after a very long, no doubt very hot, shower.

Hearing the detective tell him they’d arrested and charged Wells helped Tim in a way he couldn’t begin to explain. It was like a small weight had been lifted from where it had settled below his ribcage and he could breathe a little easier.

He sat on the arm of his couch for a while after the call, letting everything sink in and wanting to give Buck some time, some space, but also knowing he had to tell the younger man about the development in the case. Glancing down the hallway, Tim drew a deep breath and, knowing he couldn’t, and shouldn’t, put it off any longer, he stood and headed for Buck’s room.

Tapping lightly at the door, he drew a deep breath.

“Buck?” He tapped again, a little louder this time. “You awake?”

He waited a moment before opening the door, just enough to look inside and found the room empty.

Frowning, Tim turned and headed to his own room where he found Buck curled up in the middle of the bed, all but hidden under the comforter. When Tim stepped into the room, Buck’s head lifted just enough for watery blue eyes to fix on him for a moment before Buck retreated again.

“Hey,” Tim said softly, slowly crossing the room and sitting on the edge of the bed. “You feeling up to talking for a few minutes?”

There was a quiet shuffling and while Buck didn’t emerge from the comforter he did move closer to Tim who, instinctively, reached out, hand rubbing over the younger man’s shoulder through the fabric.

“Detective Ransone called,” Tim explained. He felt Buck stiffen. “They arrested Wells. She’s being charged with sexual assault and a negligent homicide.”

That, it seemed, was enough to get Buck to emerge from hiding, and he looked at Tim with wide eyes.

“Negligent homicide?”

“Turns out one of the men she assaulted committed suicide.”

Buck chewed his lower lip.

“So…she’s going to jail?”

Tim sighed. This was the hard part.

“She’ll be arraigned in the morning and a judge will decide if she gets bail or not. Then there will a trial.”

“But that’ll take time, right? Like, it…it takes a lot of time before a trial starts and everything?”

“Depends on the judge,” Tim explained. “But Ransone seemed confident that it’ll be as quick as it can.”

Buck frowned.

“What are the odds she’ll be locked up until trial? And don’t try bullshitting me. I want your honest opinion.”

Tim reached up to run his fingers through Buck’s curls, trying to offer a small piece of comfort.

“I don’t know, Buck. But in all likelihood the judge will set a bail amount and it will probably be an amount she can handle and she’ll be out until the trail date.”

“So she’ll be free to just…to just do anything she wants.”

Now Buck was starting to sound upset and Tim quickly moved to reassure him.

“Doesn’t matter if she is,” Tim said, cupping Buck’s cheek. “By then the whole of Los Angeles will know what she’s done. Ransone also said the department had passed their findings to the medical board so there’s a really good chance that she’s going to lose her license to practice. She’s facing a losing battle, Buck. All because of you and the other men who came forward. She’s not going to get away with what she’s done.”

Tim moved closer.

“This won’t last forever,” Tim murmured softly, comfortingly. “It’s going to be hard and it’s definitely going to suck but I’m going to be right here with you every step of the way. I promise.”

He was surprised when Buck pushed the comforter back and reached out to wrap his arms around him, snuggling in as close as he could and Tim returned the embrace immediately, tucking Buck against him, fitting him in those empty spots that the younger man just seemed to naturally fill. Puzzle pieces his sister would have called it in her sentimental way that Tim had always brushed off but, in that moment, he had to agree. Buck was a piece he hadn’t realized he’d been missing and he’d be damned if he let what had been done to Buck, what a predator, a monster, like Wells had been done, destroy what they had been working to build. He wouldn’t let it destroy Buck.

They lay together for a long time, just holding one another, until, from the living room, the sound of one of their cell phones ringing could be heard.

Buck twitched but didn’t move to get up.

“That’s my Dad’s ringtone,” he said quietly, eyes closed and fingers rubbing back and forth over the skin just below the hem of Tim’s t-shirt.

“You want to talk to him right now?”

Buck shrugged.

“I probably should, right? I mean…I’m going to have to talk to him about what…what happened to me, yeah? Should probably do that before I go to work tomorrow.”

Tim frowned a little at that.

“Are you sure that…” He started but Buck quickly cut him off.

“I know what you’re going to say,” the young man’s tone was firm. “And I…I appreciate it, I do, but I…Tim…Tim, I can’t just…I won’t give up my life because of…because of her. I won’t.”

Buck tipped his head to better meet Tim’s gaze.

“So I’m going to go call Dad back and…and tell him about…about what happened.” He drew a deep breath. “And tomorrow I’m going to go to work.” He gave a small, shaky smile. “And…And I’m just going to keep taking it one day at a time until…until this is finished.”

“And I will support you however you need me to,” Tim was quick to reassure, hugging Buck just a little tighter. “I just…”

He shook his head, pushing away the thoughts of shielding Buck or trying to convince the other man to do what he thought he should given the situation. He would help Buck more by just being there for him, supporting him in his decisions and accepting the decisions

“Whatever you need,” Tim said. “Whatever you need, I will support you. I promise, Evan.”

He saw the way Buck’s gaze softened, the use of his given name, so rarely used between them cementing how serious Tim was about his declaration, and he was only a little surprised when Buck pressed a gentle, nearly chaste, kiss to his lips before pulling away and, slowly, climbing from the bed.

“Do you want me to come or do you want some privacy,” Tim asked and Buck paused in the door way, glancing back at him, chewing his lip almost nervously.

“Could you…” Buck looked away for a moment, clearly trying to gather his thoughts, and when he looked back at Tim there was a calm certainty in his eyes. “Could you come sit with me? Just…Just in case I need you?”

Tim was out of the bed before Buck even finished speaking and followed him out, down the hall and into the living room. Sitting on the couch, side by side, Tim watched as Buck picked up his phone and scroll to Bobby’s contact. He watched as Buck hesitated for a moment, worrying his lower lip, before, with a deep breath likely meant to calm himself, he tapped his Dad’s name and then hit the little speaker as the call began to ring.

“Hey, kiddo,” Bobby answered the call and, though they hadn’t met yet, Tim could tell the man was smiling. “Good timing, the team and I just got back from a call.”

“Hey, Dad,” Buck replied, voice only a little shaky and Tim immediately reached over to grip Buck’s knee, offering silent support. “Uh…Do…Do you have, like, a…a minute? I need to tell you something and I…I…uh…”

“Evan.” Bobby’s tone shifted from easy going to concerned father and even over the phone Tim could make out the hurried footsteps as the man moved somewhere quieter. “Evan, what’s wrong? Do you need me to come over? Or…Or would you rather I get Athena or Michael to?”

“No, no, uh…” Buck drew a stuttering breath. “No, I…I’ve already spoken to the police.”

“What? What do you…Evan, where are you right now?”

“I’m home. I…I’m safe, Dad, I am. I promise.”

“Okay, okay, that’s…that’s good.” Bobby sounded only slightly relieved. “But what…”

“Thetherapistyousentmetoassaultedme.”

Buck hadn’t meant to blurt it out that way but the words had come tumbling out in such a rush and now his heart was racing and his breathing was starting to come a little quicker.

“What? You’re talking too quick, kid, can you say that…”

“The therapist,” Buck cut in, heart hammering so badly against his ribs he was surprised it wasn’t echoing around the room like a drum. “She…She assaulted me, Dad.”

An odd sound, a funny sort of wheeze, echoed from Bobby’s end.

“Wh…What do you mean she…” Bobby sounded like he was going to throw up. “Are you saying she…did she…”

“She…”

Buck swallowed around the heavy lump in his throat, reaching with his free hand for Tim’s, the man immediately lacing their fingers and squeezing reassuringly. He glanced at Tim for a moment, tears burning his eyes before gliding silently down his face, and he forced himself to finally utter the words that had been sticking in his throat.

“She raped me, Dad.”

“Evan,” the way Bobby said his name had Buck trembling.

He hadn’t heard his father say his name like that since his Mom had died.

“I’m okay,” Buck said quietly, even if it sounded as fake as it felt. “I…I am okay, Dad.”

“I’m going to…”

“You are not getting someone to cover just so you can come over here or…or anything else.”

“Evan…”

“I am okay, Dad. And I’m not alone.”

Buck looked at Tim, who gave him one of those soft, tender smiles he only ever seemed to share with Buck, and it helped. It really helped.

“I’m not alone, Dad,” Buck said again, tears still falling but it was a little easier to breath. “And…And I don’t want…I just wanted to be treated like…like normal. I want…I want things to be normal…to feel normal. Please, Dad, just…please.”

Bobby let out a low sound, no doubt struggling with his composure amid the news that Buck had just broken to him and the plea for it not to change things, before speaking again.

“Okay. Okay, I…I can do that.” Bobby cleared his throat. “Your shift tomorrow…”

“I’ll be there, Dad.”

“Okay then.” Bobby still sounded gutted but he was trying so hard to be strong for his son. “Okay, that’…okay.” He cleared his throat again. “Do you want to tell the team or…or would you rather…”

“I…” Buck looked at Tim, who just squeezed his hand, silently giving him reassurance. “I think…I’d like to tell them myself. I just…I don’t know if I can do it right away.”

“That’s okay,” Bobby was quick to reassure. “That is okay. I will support you in whatever you decide to do in this. I will always support you, Evan. Always.”

Buck sniffled slightly, trying to blink back the tears.

“Thanks, Dad.”

“You’re my son,” Bobby responded without missing a beat. “You never have to thank me for having your back, kid. I love you.”

“I love you too, Dad.”

“Are you sure you don’t need me to come…” Before Bobby could finish the familiar sound of the station alarm echoed across the line.

“It’s okay, Dad,” Buck said before Bobby could apologize. “Go, save lives. Be safe. I’ll see you tomorrow. Love you.”

“Love you too, Evan.”

Buck ended the call and immediately leaned into Tim, who held him close and pressed a quick, tender kiss to his temple, soaking in the warmth and comfort.

Chapter Text

Breakfast the next morning was a little quiet and Buck pretended not to notice how Tim seemed to hover.

He knew that Tim was worried. He could see it in the man’s eyes as he was handed his usual cup of morning coffee. He could hear it in the timbre of Tim’s voice when the man asked him if he was sure about going in for his shift. He could feel it in the subtle tension of the man’s arms when they hugged goodbye.

He was okay with Tim worrying because, if he was honest with himself, he was worried too.

He was worried how his Dad was going to act around him. He was worried that the team would see something different about him and start needling to get it out of him. He was worried that a call might trigger him and, as a result, someone could get hurt. Or worse.

So if he pulled into the parking lot of the 118 with a little bit of nerves that mirrored his first day as a probie then that was no one’s business but his own.

Buck wasn’t sure what he had expected, maybe for the 118 to feel tainted in some way given what had happened, but walking into the station felt, strangely, no different than it had his last shift.

He could hear voices drifting down from the loft, could hear Chimney laughing at something Hen had likely said, as he made his way quickly to the locker room to change into his uniform, glad to find that most of B-Shift had already left and the few stragglers were heading out as he opened his locker. He had just finished changing when Hen was poking her head in the room.

“Hey,” she sounded equal parts confused and curious. “Cap wants to see you in his office soon as you’re ready.”

Buck gave a short nod.

“Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

Hen gave him one of those soul searching looks that she seemed to have perfected somewhere along the way and she frowned at whatever it was that she saw.

“Is everything okay, Buck?”

“Yeah,” Buck said again. “Yeah, it’s…it’s fine.”

Hen didn’t look convinced but, thankfully, she chose not to push and instead reminded him that Bobby was waiting for him.

The walk from the locker room to Bobby’s office was not, by any means, a long walk, and it felt like the blink of an eye before Buck found himself standing in front of that dark coloured door, the shining silver nameplate reading Captain Robert Nash – 118 standing out in sharp contrast. And, standing there, Buck suddenly felt the odd urge to run.

He knew, rationally, that his Dad was on his side but there was a voice in his head, nasty and vile, that kept whispering that his Dad was going to blame him. That his Dad was going to use what happened to bench him. Or worse.

Buck shook his head, trying to chase those thoughts away because he knew, he knew, that they weren’t true.

He knocked before he could lose his nerve, before that nasty voice could convince him to turn and run and just pretend Hen hadn’t found him, and when Bobby called out that the door was open, he fought to keep his hands from shaking as he opened the door and stepped in.

“Hey,” he said, quietly closing the door behind him, not surprised at how quickly his Dad’s head snapped up.

“Evan.”

Bobby moved as he spoke, standing quickly and rounding the desk, reaching for Buck and Buck, hands still shaking, heart starting to race, all but fell into his Dad’s arms.

“Oh, Evan.”

Bobby spoke softly, hugging Buck tight and Buck clung to his Dad, not aware he was sobbing until Bobby was murmuring softly, telling him it was okay, to just let it all out, that he was there, that it was going to be okay. That he was safe. That Bobby wasn’t going to let anything else happen to him. It was, Buck thought absently, a silly thing to promise, especially given their jobs, but it was a parent’s promise, a parent’s love, and it just made Buck cling to his Dad a little tighter.

After a few minutes of just standing there, of just holding onto one another, Buck, still sniffling, tears still doting his lashes, slowly pulled back, reaching up to scrub a hand over his face and gave a shaky laugh.

“I…I didn’t realize how much I needed to cry,” he said as Bobby guided him gently to the nearest chair.

“Your Mom used to say crying got all the bad and hurt feelings out,” Bobby reminded, smiling slightly as he took the chair next to Buck. “Are you…Are you sure you want to be here today? I would understand if you needed some time.”

Buck shook his head, scrubbing a hand over his face again.

“Dad, I…I know it’s probably going to be a rough day but I…I really need this. Need a…a normal day.” He huffed. “Or at least as normal as we tend to have.”

Bobby couldn’t help the small smile that graced his face as he gave a nod.

“Okay.” He didn’t like it but he would support Buck if this was the decision he wanted to make. “Okay, kiddo, we can do that. But, and I mean this, Evan, if at any point in the day that things change and you need to leave or just take a minute, I need you to tell me, okay?”

“I promise, Dad.”

It was a quiet promise that carried weight.

It wasn’t one of those promises Buck made to his Dad for the sake of the job only to turn around and break later by either going against protocol or completely disregarding a direct order.

It was solid and genuine.

Because it mattered.

It mattered like Bobby’s promise to always love him, to always be there for him, mattered.

It mattered like Athena and Michael’s promises that they, him and Bobby, would always be family mattered.

It mattered like Tim’s promise of “I’ll do my best to come home.” every morning mattered.

It mattered.

And because it mattered Buck would do everything to keep it.

Bobby gave a nod of his own, reaching out to grip Buck’s shoulder, squeezing lightly, reassuringly.

“Have you thought about telling the team,” he asked gently, clearly aware that the subject might be too much, but Buck shook his head in response.

“Not…Not yet.”

“Okay,” Bobby said, squeezing Buck’s shoulder again. “That’s okay. When you’re ready, if you want, I’ll be right there with you.”

Again Buck nodded.

“Thanks, Dad.”

Bobby pulled him into another hug, tucking his son tightly against him for a moment, before slowly drawing back and, determined to make the day as normal as possible, to give his son that because it’s what he wanted, he made a comment about Buck helping him make breakfast before the rest of the team came demanding food while brandishing torches and pitchforks.

It was enough to make Buck laugh and, after a last wipe at his eyes to make sure the last of the tears were gone, Buck easily, happily, followed his Dad from the office.

The rest of the morning went like most any other mornings at the 118.

They had only a few calls, nothing major, and, about an hour after lunch, they had just gotten back from a minor fender bender when Buck’s cell phone rang. Checking it, he was a little surprised to find Detective Ransone’s name flashing across the screen. Glancing towards where the rest of the team were, he stepped away, moving closer to the locker room as he answered the call.

“Detective Ransone, hi,” Buck said, hoping he didn’t sound as nervous as he felt. “Uh…what’s…what’s going on?”

“Hi, Mr Nash, is this a good time? I just wanted to give you an update on the case.”

“Uh…yeah, yeah, we just got back from a call so it’s good.”

“Ah, you’re at work, I’ll try and keep this quick then,” Ransone assured him but something in his tone had Buck’s nerves jumping. “We received word from the medical board this morning that they’ve suspended Wells’ license indefinitely while they continue to investigate the situation themselves. Also, Wells went before the judge this morning for her arraignment.”

Buck felt as though the world was starting to narrow in and he swore his heart was trying to beat its way out of his chest but he forced himself to stay focused as the detective continued to speak.

“Her lawyer entered a plea of not guilty, which we were expecting, and then there was the question of bail.”

Buck’s stomach rolled and his heart went from slamming against his ribs to dropping so quickly he felt a little dizzy.

“And…” Buck cleared his throat. “What did the judge decide?”

“The judge granted bail and Wells made it,” the detective confirmed what Buck had been dreading. “But the judge also issued orders of protection against her so she can’t come within a hundred yards of you or any of her other victims that we listed in the case. And the trial date has been set for two weeks from now.”

“Two weeks?”

“DA Byers pushed for as soon as possible and, truthfully, this is fairly quick, especially considering the particulars of the case.”

“So…So what happens now?”

“I wish I had the right words for you, Mr Nash, I wish I could say it’s all going to be smooth sailing from here on out but now we just take it one day at a time.”

“One day at a time,” Buck repeated, hand starting to tremble a little. “Yeah…yeah, okay.”

They exchanged a quick goodbye after that, with Ransone promising to keep him up-to-date about any further developments, and after ending the call Buck just stood there for a moment, fighting to keep from falling apart.

Once his breathing was a little more controlled, heart no longer trying to crawl out of his chest, he turned and headed for the loft where the rest of the team had drifted off to. He knew he should tell his Dad about the new development in the case, should even text or call Tim, but he just wanted to sit with it, really wrap his head around it, for a little while first.

He was halfway up the stairs when one of the truck crew, Johnson, called out to him.

“Hey, Buckley! You got a visitor!”

Frowning, Buck turned and went back downstairs, spotting Johnson by the bay door.

“Who is…”

Buck started, thinking maybe someone from a scene had come to thank him again or something, only to have his voice stick in his throat when he saw her.

Doctor Wells.

“You aren’t supposed to…” He started, only to let out a startled, and pained, shout when Wells surged forward and struck him across the face.

“You bastard,” she shrieked, hitting him again before he could react. “You ruined everything! I tried to help you and you’re fucking trying to ruin my life”

Buck heard a commotion, heard his Dad shouting, asking what the hell was going on, even as Johnson managed to get hold of Wells, who struggled and kept screaming, calling Buck names, spitting at him. Buck barely registered anything, his world tunnelling to Wells and her screams, until he heard the familiar wail of a police siren as a cruiser suddenly came pulling up just outside the bay door.

The driver’s door of the cruiser opened and Tim, looking fierce as a hurricane, stepped out.

“Rachel Wells,” Tim snarled, stepping into the station with his partner, his rookie, right behind him, while drawing his handcuffs from his belt. “You’re under arrest for violating an order of protection.”

Wells shrieked again, still struggling to get away from Johnson.

“It’s not my fault!” She snapped. “He’s a monster! He’s trying to ruin my life! My career!”

“Hands behind your back, Miss Wells,” Tim said firmly, trying for calm but a hint of anger bleeding into his voice. “Now.”

“No! No, this isn’t…”

Wells’ shriek became a squeak when Tim caught her arm, snapping one cuff around her wrist.

“What are you…”

“Rachel Wells,” Tim rumbled, moving Wells so he had her arms behind her back and he could cuff her other hand. “You are under arrest for violating an order of protection.” He looked at Buck, seeing Hen checking the man’s face where a mark, bright and angry red, graced his cheek. “And assault.”

“I only…” Wells started but when Tim swung her around, glaring down at her like he would any other criminal, fierce and angry, she fell silent.

“You have the right to remain silent,” Tim said, all but snapping. “You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney one will be provided for you.” He scowled at her. “Do you understand these rights as I have read them, Miss Wells?”

“I’m not an idiot. And it’s Doctor Wells,” she snapped back and Tim huffed.

“Right.” He looked at his rookie. “Boot, escort Miss Wells to the shop. I’ll be there in a minute.”

The rookie nodded and moved to do as he was told, leading a spluttering and then shouting Wells out of the station and to the cruiser.

Tim watched, waiting until he was sure Wells was secure in the back of the cruiser, before turning his focus to Buck.

“Buck,” he spoke gently, features softening, as he stepped towards the younger man. “Hey, you okay?”

Buck gave a shaky nod.

“I…yeah…yeah I’m…” He cleared his throat. “How did you…know…”

“I’ve been sitting across the street since Ransone gave Lopez the heads up that Wells got bail,” Tim explained, looking at the mark on Buck’s cheek. “You really okay?”

“I’m okay.” Buck glanced at his Dad, who was talking with Johnson, no doubt asking him what had happened, likely thinking Tim was going to be taking Buck’s statement. “I…I didn’t expect…the detective called and said…she wasn’t supposed to come near me. I didn’t…I…”

“It’s okay,” Tim reached out, hand curling around the back of Buck’s neck, drawing him close, gaze flicking over the mark on the younger man’s cheek. “It’s okay. She’s at fault her. Not you. You did everything right.”

Buck let out a soft sound and felt his eyes start to prickle with tears and, between one breath and the next, Tim was pulling him into a tight hug. The fit together like they always did. Two puzzle pieces.

Clinging to Tim, tears dripping from his lashes, he turned his head and tucked his face against the man’s neck, trembling uncontrollably as the weight of the situation, of everything he’d been fighting to hide, came crashing down as he felt Tim’s hand slide into his hair and a sob, sharp and piercing, fell from his lips.

“I got you,” Tim murmured against his ear, pressing a quick kiss to his temple. “I got you, Evan.”

Buck squeezed his eyes shut, unable to keep the tears from slipping forth, and his sobs turned into hiccups as he felt a hand, delicate but comforting, curl over his shoulder, squeezing lightly and heard Hen’s quiet Buckaroo and then he felt his Dad’s hand, and he knew it was Bobby even without looking, grip his arm.

“Evan.”

Bobby’s voice was soft, concerned but also questioning and it had Buck slowly straightening from his hiding place, giving Tim a small smile he hoped was reassuring, before looking at his Dad, not surprised that Tim’s hand lingered on his shoulder. The look on Bobby’s face matched his tone of voice and Buck swallowed around the lump in his throat and reached up to scrub a hand over his face, trying to wipe away the lingering tears.

“I…I’m sorry,” Buck said. “I didn’t…She wasn’t supposed to come near me. There’s an order of protection.”

He saw the confusion and concern on Hen’s, and Chim’s who had moved to stand next to his best friend, and he knew, even though it wasn’t what he wanted, he knew he had to explain what was going on in full. Looking at his two friends, feeling Tim give his shoulder a reassuring squeeze, he swallowed around the lump in his throat and forced the words out.

He told them what had happened, what Wells had done to him, to other men, what Ransone had told him that morning and how he’d actually been on his way to speak to Bobby about what the detective had told him when Wells had shown up. He felt the fresh tears spilling down his face by the time he finished speaking and then found himself being yanked into a hug, Hen and Chim’s voices mixing as they both told him that it was okay, that they had his back, that he didn’t have to face everything alone.

He cleared his throat as he carefully extracted himself from their embrace, looking from them to his Dad, feeling suddenly strong and bold.

“I, uh,” he glanced at Tim, a silent conversation passing between them before he looked back at his team. “I’m not...that is to say...I haven't been dealing with it alone.”

Tim smiled, just a tiny thing really, but it was enough. More than enough.

“This is Tim,” Buck said, smiling back, leaning in towards the man. “Err…Officer Tim Bradford.” His smile grew. “My boyfriend.”

Chapter Text

Buck hadn’t been surprised when, after the incident with Wells, when Bobby offered to let him take the rest of the day off but he hadn’t been able to bring himself to accept it even if it might have been the smarter, healthier thing to do. But he needed the normalcy. He needed to keep moving forward because if he dwelt to long on what had happened, on what had been done to him, he knew, deep in his gut, that he would get stuck and then he wouldn’t know how to keep going.

So, he stayed on shift, he got through the day, through the calls, doing the one thing he’d ever truly felt was his calling. Helping people.

And the next day he got up and did it all over again.

And again and again and again.

Everything was going well. Everyone, including Athena and Michael, were supportive without treating him with kid gloves. He was doing great.

Until one morning, almost a week later, when, as he was making breakfast, the local news channel playing in the living room, a report came on.

“In court news,” a chipper yet determined reporter declared. “Doctor Rachael Wells, formally contracted with both the Los Angeles Police Department and Los Angeles Fire Department as a departmental therapist, has been charged with multiple counts of sexual assault, assault and battery, and gross misconduct. The Medical Board of California issued a statement this morning that, upon learning of the charges against Doctor Wells, an independent investigation was conducted and the decision has been reached to stripe her of her licence to practice medicine in the state of California.”

Buck froze where he had been chopping vegetables for the omelettes he had been making and felt like his stomach had dropped.

“Doctor Wells’ is, according to sources close to the case, to stand trial beginning next Friday. When asked for comment, DA Byers had this to say…”

The rest of the report seemed to become nothing but white noise as Buck’s vision began to narrow in, the edges going grey and fuzzy. All that kept buzzing through his mind was Wells’ name and the way she had looked at him in her office as she’d crawled into his lap and…

And then a voice was murmuring in his ear.

“It’s okay, Evan. It’s okay. I’m here. I’m right here.”

He couldn’t focus, not on the voice, it kept drifting in and out, but there, wrapped tight around him, were strong arms, holding him close. He clung to those arms, realizing he was gasping for breath, shaking like mad, but all the while wrapped up in a warm embrace that made him feel safe. He was safe. He wasn’t back in that office with that…that woman. He was safe. He was…He was…

Home.

He was home.

He blinked and tried to take a deep breath.

He was home.

He was safe.

He was…

“That’s it, baby,” the voice finally punched through the fog. “Nice, big deep breaths now.”

He was with Tim.

He was home and he was safe and he was with Tim.

His attempts at deep breaths quickly turned into hiccupping sobs, Tim’s name falling brokenly from his lips as he clung all the tighter to the man.

“Evan.”

Tim murmured against his ear, lips brushing a ghost of a kiss there as he spoke.

“I’ve got you, okay? I’m right here. I’m here.”

He gently rocked Buck back and forth.

“I’m here,” he said again. “I’m here and I love you. I love you, Evan.”

Several minutes ticked by, slower than anything Buck had experienced in a very long time, but, eventually, Buck’s breathing had normalized and he wasn’t clinging to Tim’s arms so much as just resting his hands on them. They continued to rock back and forth for a few minutes until, after what felt like forever, Buck felt himself finally able to relax and, naturally, sagged completely in Tim’s embrace and Tim, well, Tim just kept holding him and murmuring that he loved him.

Buck waited another minute, just soaking in the warmth and love and support, before turning his head to press his cheek to Tim’s.

“I…I’m okay,” he whispered, eyes fluttering as his vision came back into focus.

There was still a slight lingering fuzz in his peripheral but he could see Tim’s face clear as day.

He saw the love.

He saw the relief.

He saw the concern.

“Sorry, I…I didn’t mean to…”

“Hey.” Tim reached up and cupped Buck’s cheek, thumb rubbed over the younger man’s birthmark in a tender, ghost of a touch. “No. Whatever happened, whatever triggered you, is not your fault. You reacted. That’s all.”

Tim’s thumb rubbed over Buck’s temple.

“And,” he continued. “Whenever you’re ready to tell me what happened I will be here to listen. Whatever you need. Whenever you need it. I’m here, Buck.”

Buck nodded and drew a deep, shaky breath before, digging deep for the courage, he spoke.

“The news, they…uh…they were talking about…about the case and I just…” He shook his head, feeling his eyes prickling with fresh tears. “I don’t know, everything just…it was too much too soon I guess.”

“Buck…”

Buck shook his head.

“It’s so stupid,” Buck continued. “A news story and I…I cracked up.”

“Hey, no.” Tim cupped Buck’s chin, turning his head so their gazes could meet. “There is nothing stupid about what happened. Something terrible was done to you and how you cope and handle that is not stupid.” Tim gave him a funny look. “Unless you turn to clown school to cope because, I got to tell you, that will be stupid.”

Buck couldn’t help laughing, so suddenly amused by Tim’s statement about clown school and how serious the other man had looked while saying it, and Tim smiled a little bit at his reaction.

“There he is,” Tim chuckled, rubbing his thumb over Buck’s birthmark again. “There’s my Evan.”

Buck laughed again.

“Have I told you lately how much I love you?”

Tim’s smile widened and soften, making him look so much younger but no less in love.

“You tell me every day,” he gave Buck a soft peck on the lips. “But I won’t say I don’t love hearing it and, just so you know, I love you too, Evan Nash.”

Tim’s hand slid up into Buck’s hair, gently combing his fingers through the loose curls behind the younger man’s ear.

“I know you probably don’t want to talk about this right now but I think that it might help to talk to someone.”

Buck blinked.

What did Tim…

Then it hit him.

“You mean another therapist.”

The words tumbled out on a gasp of breath and, before Buck could even think to pull away, before he could begin to spiral into the fear and anxiety, Tim was speaking again.

“You wouldn’t have to do it in person.” Tim’s fingers kept combing through Buck’s hair. “A lot of them are open to do it remotely using Zoom or Face Time now. You’d be safe, here or wherever you wanted, and still be able have someone help you through everything.”

“I’ve got you and Dad and…and…everybody else.”

“Evan,” Tim’s tone was firm but not unkind. “It is beyond amazing that you have a support system, and I am so happy that I am included in it, but, baby, sometimes it’s good to have someone more impartial.

Someone who’s only concern is your wellbeing because…because all of us, yeah, we love you and we want to help you and for everything to be okay but sometimes we’re going to push or nudge you in the direction we think is best for you and that may not actually be the right direction for you.”

Tim’s hand moved just a little, just enough so his thumb could rub over Buck’s birthmark again. A comforting gesture for both of them as it turned out.

“A therapist, the right therapist, can help you find the right direction for you.”

“I just…I was so against going when Dad suggested it, even before…before…Wells. I didn’t think…I mean…I thought therapy would hurt my career. That…That I’d be found unfit for duty.”

“Why do you think that?”

Buck shrugged.

“Just…I saw it happen, a few times, when I was a kid. Couple of the guys in Dad’s old station they…there was a big apartment fire, bad, over a hundred people died, and they were mandated to therapy. They never worked as firefighters again.”

“Same as I’ve known cops that went to therapy and never came back to the job,” Tim countered. “Sometimes, doing the jobs we do, we see and experience things that we…we can’t overcome and, when that happens, the best thing that can be done is take us out of the field so we don’t risk ourselves or the people we’re trying to help.

But, and I want you to listen to be very careful right now, I do not believe any therapist would tell the brass that you can’t be a firefighter. Not because of this.”

“Tim…”

“Just…think about it, okay? Please?”

Buck chewed his lip for a moment but he knew Tim only wanted what was best for him so, in the end, he gave a slow nod.

“I’ll think about it,” he agreed and Tim’s smile grew just a little bit before he leaned in and brushed a tender kiss to Buck’s lips.

“That’s all I’m asking.”

Tim brushed his thumb over Buck’s birthmark again before leaning in and pressing a kiss to it.

“Come on,” he said. “Let’s get some breakfast, yeah?”

Buck nodded and let Tim help him to his feet.

Chapter Text

District Attorney Byers was not in a good mood as she cleared the security check at the Metropolitan Detention Center.

She did not like being summoned.

Especially not by a woefully unprepared defence attorney who was very well aware that his client was, as Ransone would say, screwed.

But here she was. More out of some sense of curiosity than anything.

Rachel Wells had already entered her plea, unsurprisingly she claimed to be not guilty despite the mountain of evidence against her, and so, really, there was no reason for her or her attorney to want to speak with Byers in person.

Not unless the announcement of the judge hearing the case had spooked them.

And it should have.

Judge Henderson was not, Byers knew, an easy man to sway when it came to sexual assault. He heard the evidence, heard the arguments, but if it all pointed to a guilty verdict than a guilty verdict is what he handed down. And he was not easy on sentencing. Not matter if it was a multiple offence or a first offence.

She knew him well enough to know he had likely, after reading her request, after seeing the mountain of evidence the her office had submitted to the court, pushed to try the case himself.

And with his reputation that push had not been denied.

It was part of why Byers had reached out to him for the warrants to begin with.

When it came to balancing the scales of justice there was no one better for this case than Judge Henderson.

So, yes, she was reasonably certain, would even place a large bet on it in fact, that the announcement that Judge Henderson would be the one presiding over the case had spooked Wells and her attorney. And it had spooked them bad enough that they had requested a meeting with her.

They want to talk deal, Byers thought as a guard escorted her to one of the private rooms used for attorney-client meetings. At this point it’s all they have left.

She wasn’t sure how she felt about that idea.

Giving a woman, a predator, like Wells a deal.

Especially on such a slam dunk case.

She’d much sooner drag her into a courtroom, into the light, so the world could see what she truly was.

Stepping into the room, Byers wasn’t surprised to be greeted first by Wells’ lawyer.

Jerry Platt still, to Byers, looked completely out of his depth but he still stood and politely shook Byers’ hand before they took their respective seats. Wells did not acknowledge the DA at all.

“I’m going to be blunt, Mr Platt,” Byers said once she was barely settled. “But what exactly am I doing here? Your client entered her plea. Trial is set to begin next week. I don’t see much sense in this meeting.”

“Yes, well,” Platt glanced quickly at Wells, who was glaring but wisely keeping silent. “I was hoping to talk. Maybe avoid any sort of lengthy trial.”

“You want a deal.”

Byers’ tone was flat and she looked at Platt coolly.

And when he nodded in affirmation, Byers couldn’t help but huff.

“And why on earth would I agree to that? You’re client has nothing to offer.”

“It’ll spare taxpayers unnecessary dollars and you’ll still get your conviction.”

Byers huffed again and shook her head.

“Mr Platt…”

“I know my client has nothing to offer in exchange,” Platt was quick to cut in. “But try and show a little compassion. Putting those men through a trial, making them have to relive and reiterate everything that was done, at this point seems unnecessarily cruel and perhaps even detrimental to their wellbeing.”

“Interesting that you didn’t say anything about your client in your little soapbox speech there.”

Platt glanced at Wells, who was scowling, and a flicker of something passed over the man’s face and Byers saw what was happening here. Platt knew what would happen if this was put before a court, how public it would be, how merciless the media would be. Not just of Wells but of Platt as her lawyer. She saw this was a last ditch effort of an attorney attempting to not only protect his client but himself from further fallout.

She didn’t like to admit it, not even to herself, but Platt did have a point about Wells’ victims not deserve to be drug into a courtroom and paraded about like show ponies just so she and her office could make an example of Wells. Some of those men may not handle the attention, the media, well, and the last thing she wanted to come of this situation, was for a repeat of what had happened with Officer Kayce Hudson.

She also knew she couldn’t make the call on her own.

“Give me a few minutes to speak with my boss and then we’ll talk more.”

Platt nodded as Byers rose to her feet, stepping out into the hallway to make the call.

Byers left Metropolitan Detention Center nearly an hour later.

She had already called her office, instructing her assistant to have the Wells case file waiting on her desk, and she was not looking forward to calling Judge Henderson or the detectives and investigating officers about the change in situation.

But worse than that, she was not looking to the other calls she would be making to notify her witnesses that now, because of a few quick pen strokes, there would be no need for them to bare themselves in open court for all the world to hear and see.

It was, she would tell them, for the best.

Yes, the case was the definition of open-and-shut, yes they had ample enough evidence to bury Rachael Wells, but the more she thought about it the more she kept seeing Officer Hudson’s crime scene photos. The gore and blood splattered kitchen and highchair. And, one by one, the faces of her witnesses would flash through her mind, replacing that of Officer Hudson at that kitchen table. She thought of them push too far by questions and cross examination, by unfair media coverage or internet gossip and bullying. She thought of them failing to find healthy coping mechanisms or support.

And she just couldn’t bring herself to be the one to do that to them.

Not a single one of them.

They were strong men, Byers knew, not just physically but mentally, emotionally, otherwise they would not all have agreed to testify.

But maybe they didn’t have to be that brave anymore.

She could be brave enough, strong enough, to spare them more pain.

She didn’t have to like the arrangement, or herself for that matter, to make sure those men didn’t have to be Wells’ victims one last time.

So, once she got back to the office she would update the people who needed to be updated and then she personally make the calls to explain everything to her witness. She owed them that much.

All twenty-three of them.

Buck got the call from DA Byers during a bit of down time between calls.

He was sprawled on the couch, just relaxing, listening as Hen and Chim went back and forth about their last medical call, something involving a bottle of conditioner and a gentleman’s behind, while Bobby made a late lunch, when his phone rang.

Without looking, figuring it was just Tim checking in during a boring shift or something, he answered.

“This is Buck.”

There was a momentary hesitation before a woman’s voice came over the line.

“Mr Nash? Evan Nash?”

Buck frowned and sat up.

“Uh, yes? Who is…”

“I’m District Attorney Byers, we spoke a few days ago regarding your case?”

“Oh, right, uh…” Buck glanced around, noticing his Dad watching him but not interfering. “What…What can I do for you Miss Byers?”

He heard her sigh and was about to correct himself, call her district attorney or DA or something, when she beat him to it.

“Mr Nash, I’m calling to let you know that the District Attorneys office has…reached an agreement with Rachael Wells.”

Buck blinked.

An agreement?

What on earth did they have to reach an agreement on and why would Byers be calling to tell him about…

Buck blinked again and swore his heart thumped painfully against his ribs as it began to beat quicker.

“You mean a deal.” He croaked, drawing the attention of his team, Hen standing from her chair and slowly making her way over to him. “You made a deal with…with her. Why? I don’t understand? You…You and Lou said…you said it was slam dunk case. Especially with all…all our testimony.”

“Mr Nash, please, I hope you can understand, this deal was not made lightly. My office was looking for the best way to spare you and the other witnesses any further discomfort or trauma.”

“Spare us more…” Buck shook his head, not quite able to believe what he was hearing. “So…So what? She’s getting some reduced sentence without having to face what she’s done? Without having to face any of us?!”

“Thirty-six years is hardly a reduced sentence, Mr Nash.”

“What?”

“My office is recommending a sentence of thirty-six years,” Byers explained firmly but not unkindly. She sounded like she’d repeated all of this several times over. “With the possibility of parole in twelve.

That is the recommendation I will be making to Judge Henderson next Friday and, Mr Nash, I know this isn’t the news you were hoping to hear but, truly, it is the best thing in the long run.”

Buck couldn’t help the disgusted sound he made.

“Yeah, I’m sure it is. For you, at least in nothing else.”

He hung up without another word. His emotions were a swirling storm but with anger quickly surging to the forefront like a bolt of lightning.

“Buck?”

His Dad’s voice drew him back to the present and Buck looked up, finding Bobby had moved closer, lunch forgotten in the face of Buck’s obvious upset.

“They…” Buck licked his suddenly dry lips and felt his hands shake slightly. “They gave Wells a deal.”

“What?” Bobby frowned. “What on earth possessed the DA to do that?”

“Apparently, she didn’t want to put us all through the hardship of a trial.” Buck shook his head. “Like everything up until now was a fucking walk in the park or something. She has no idea, no fucking idea, how hard this has all been!”

Buck surged to his feet.

“She’s acting like this is all for us, to spare us, but it’s bullshit! Yeah, maybe she’s got good intentions but it’s still bullshit! We have the right to see that…that woman stand trial and have our voices heard!”

“Buck…”

Bobby started to step forward but Buck spun on his heel and headed for the stairs, tossing a quick, “I need a few minutes.” over his shoulder before disappearing down to the bunk room.

He sat on the edge of his bunk, glaring at his phone, half tempted to call Byers back and give her an even stronger piece of his mind but, suddenly, an idea came to him.

He unlocked his phone and pulled up the LAFD and LAPD message forums.

He didn’t hesitate as he posted a message on both sites.

And he wasn’t surprised when, within fifteen minutes, he started getting replies.

By the time the morning of what was supposed to be Wells’ trial arrived, Buck was nervous and thought he was going to puke numerous times on the way to the courthouse but he managed to hold it together.

Because he wasn’t alone.

And not just because Tim, the team and Athena and Michael were with him.

Stepping into the courthouse, making his way to the assigned courtroom, he found twenty-two other men waiting with their own friends and families.

Twenty-two other men who, like Buck, had refused not to be seen, refused not to be heard, when it came to what Wells had done to them.

Buck had been thrilled when, after posting to the message forums, so many of the others had reached out and agreed to a meeting. That feeling had only grown when everyone had shared his view on the situation and as a group decided that they weren’t going to shy away from Wells’ sentencing. They would be there to see it. To show her that they, not one of them, had been broken by what she had done to them.

“Nash,” Jim Street broke away from his team and stepped up to greet Buck, giving him a bright smile as they shook hands, Street pulling him in to a brief hug. “You ready to do this, man?”

“As ready as I can be,” Buck admitted and Street nodded, giving his arm a gentle squeeze before everyone made their way into the courtroom.

They filled the seat, Buck settling right in the front row, wanting to be one of the first people Wells’ saw when they brought her in. Tim sat beside him, holding his hand, lacing their fingers together as Bobby took the seat on the other side of him, arm wrapping tightly around him while the rest of the team sat around them. Glancing around revealed the other men were seated similarly with their loved ones and Buck smiled a little. It was good to know that no one was standing alone today. Not a single one of them.

Seeing the look on Wells’ face when the officer brought her in was, Buck decided as he squeezed Tim’s hand tightly, worth it even if seeing her made his skin crawl.

When the judge finally entered and everyone stood there was a moment, quick as the blink of an eye, where Judge Henderson paused, taking in the sight of a courtroom packed with first responders, previously witnesses and victims, before he sat.

The legal proceedings were, as Tim had warned him, dull as dirt but Buck listened carefully, seeing how relaxed Wells was as Byers explained a deal had been reached between the prosecution and the defence and that the sentencing recommendation had already been submitted for Henderson’s review.

Henderson nodded and regarded the papers in front of him for a moment before looking back up.

“Miss Wells, please stand.”

She hesitated a moment but did as instructed, her lawyer patting her arm lightly in reassurance that made Buck feel sick.

“I understand that the defendant wishes to be sentenced immediately rather than at a later date?”

“Correct, Your Honour,” Wells said quietly, sounding so peak and frail and Buck tensed in response.

““Miss Wells, I see here that the DA’s office had suggested a sentencing of thirty-six years with possibility of parole in twelve and that you should be registered with the national sex offender registry. That is a very generous offer.”

“Yes, Your Honour.”

Henderson frowned slightly before looking out at the courtroom.

“Before I pass sentence I would like to ask all the men here today who were originally set to testify against Miss Wells to please stand.”

Buck blinked, exchanging a quick glance with Tim and his Dad before slowly rising, many of the others doing much the same until, finally, all twenty-three of them were standing tall and proud.

Henderson nodded.

“Thank you, gentlemen,” the judge said with another nod. “I wish to address you brave men, all twenty-three of you, gathered here today. And, make no mistake gentlemen, you are all brave.

Not just for choosing to put your lives on the line everyday in the service of the city of Los Angeles and her citizens but for being here today. But for coming forward to tell your stories. For showing not only this court but the city, perhaps even the country, that it is never wrong to seek justice. No matter your gender. I see you all standing here, a strong united front in the face of what was done to you, and I applaud your courage, gentlemen. And I thank you for it.”

Henderson’s gaze swung back to Wells and his scowl reminded Buck of an angry bulldog.

“Miss Wells, the DA’s suggestion for sentencing is, as stated, generous. Very generous.”

He drew a deep breath.

“However.”

A collective inhale of breath could be heard through the courtroom.

“The discretion of sentencing falls solely on the court, on me, and while I can appreciate DA Byers attempt to spare these brave men further pain, I do not find the suggested sentencing adequate enough.”

“Your Honour,” Byers started but Henderson shook his head.

“No, no far too often men who are victims of this sort of assault are too afraid to come forward because far too often they are dismissed or ignored and I for one am not going to continue to add to the stigma that their voices, their stories and truths, are not important. We cannot continue to ignore or pretend.”

Henderson looked back at Wells.

“Miss Wells, it is the decision of this court that your sentencing will be as follows.

On the twenty-three counts of assault and battery, six months per count. On the twenty-three counts of gross misconduct, six months per count.”

Wells did not seem bothered as the DA’s deal had been identical on those charges.

Henderson, however, was far from finished.

“On the single count of negligent homicide,” the judge glared at her. “Four years.”

Wells gasped but her attorney quickly silenced her before the judge could tell her to compose herself and a quiet murmur rippled through the courtroom.

“And finally,” Henderson said, still scowling at Wells. “On the twenty-three counts of sexual assault, two years per count.

Together that is a sentence of seventy-three years.

Miss Wells will, as previously agreed with the DA’s office, also be registered with the national sex offenders registry effective immediately.”

Wells was starting to shake quite noticeably and her attorney was doing his best to keep her calm, as Henderson continued.

“These sentences are to be served concurrently, meaning, Miss Wells, you will serve only forty-six years but I am denying possibility of parole as the number of your victims indicate a clear pattern and history of these sort of assaults and it is the determination of this court that, as a serious repeat offender, you pose too great a risk to the public.”

The gavel banged, finalizing Henderson’s decision, and Wells began to break down as two officers moved to take her back into custody.

Buck stood there, shocked, until he felt an arm wrap around him.

“Evan?” Tim’s voice brought him back to the present. “You okay?”

Buck blinked, realizing tears were rolling down his face, but he found himself smiling.

“Yeah,” he said softly, taking Tim’s hand before looking at his Dad, at his team, at his family. “Yeah, I think I am now.”

Chapter Text

Time, as always, passed quicker than one would expect.

One minute Buck was dealing with Wells and the trial and the next his year as a probationary firefighter was over.

And so much had changed during that time too.

Athena and Michael got a divorce after Michael came out as gay.

Chimney was in a car accident that resulted in a piece of rebar going through his skull but, miraculously, he had survived and returned to the job.

Hen’s ex, Eva, was paroled and made Hen’s life, and her marriage, a nightmare for a while when she tried to take Denny from Hen and Karen.

A call involving a plane crash revealed to Buck a side of Bobby that he’d never known existed before.

The addict. The alcoholic. The man who had, after Marcy’s death, spiralled so badly that he’d only snapped back when the reality of losing Buck had loomed like a monster from the dark.

It had been hard, really hard, to learn his Dad had suffered so badly. Had carried that weight alone for so long and that, because of one horrific night, had lost years of sobriety. But he didn’t have to go through everything alone this time. Buck, and the rest of the 118 and the Grant family, had been there to help. He didn’t have to face it alone this time.

Then there was the day Buck walked into his Dad’s apartment to drop off some Tupperware containers to find Bobby and Athena kissing in the kitchen.

Heck of a way to find out his Dad was dating again.

Not that he wasn’t happy for his Dad, he was, Athena was an amazing woman and clearly they made each other happy, it was just a bit of a shock to walk in on his Dad making out with someone like a teenager.

And then came the morning that the 118 got a new recruit.

Eddie Diaz.

Top of his class at the academy, former Army medic and, for some reason, Buck began to wonder, to worry really, if maybe Bobby was looking to replace him at the 118. Which, of course, led to him and Eddie getting off on the wrong foot almost immediately.

He saw the way Bobby kept looking at him, frowning, disappointment etched clear as day in his expression, and Buck knew he was being irrational, he’d earned his spot at the 118, he was part of the team just like Eddie was now, but he couldn’t help the way he felt and he couldn’t shake that lingering voice of doubt that kept whispering that he was one misstep away from being transferred out.

Which was why, he could later acknowledge, he climbed into the back of the ambulance with Eddie, their patient and a live explosive round. To prove he was good enough.

Though who exactly he was trying to prove that to was a little unclear.

But it seemed to be the real ice breaker that he and Eddie had needed because, standing back out in the cool night air, their patient safely wheeled into the hospital, exchanging words that would be the bedrock of their friendship, it finally felt like they were on even ground rather than at odds.

And then, because it was Los Angeles and nothing ever stayed smooth, a massive 7.1 earthquake rocked the city resulting in massive damages, countless deaths and mayhem for what felt like an eternity. By the time the team was cleared to go home Buck was more than happy, after making certain Eddie got to his son’s school and getting them home safe, to get home.

He was just coming out of the shower when he heard Tim’s voice call out.

“Buck?”

“Bathroom,” he called back, patting himself dry before wrapping the towel around him and stepping out into the bedroom.

He had just grabbed a pair of sweatpants from the dresser when Tim appeared in the doorway, looking just as tired as Buck felt.

“Hey,” Buck greeted softly, giving a small smile. “Shower’s free if you want it.”

Tim hummed thoughtfully before crossing the room to step up behind Buck, wrapping his arms around him, pressing a kiss to Buck’s shoulder even as Buck leaned back into him, hand folding over Tim’s where it rested against his hip.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Tim said softly, lips brushing against Buck’s skin, his embrace tightening just a fraction.

Buck smiled, lacing his fingers with Tim’s so he could lift the man’s hand and brush a kiss against his palm.

“Long day, huh?”

“God,” Tim sighed, letting his chin rest over Buck’s shoulder. “The longest.” He tipped his head slightly, looking at Buck. “You okay?”

“Shift was a rollercoaster.” Buck admitted with a half hearted chuckle. “But, uh, I got to meet Eddie’s son. He’s such a sweetheart.”

He felt Tim’s smile against his skin.

“Eddie or his son?”

Buck nudged Tim with his elbow, both of them laughing as Buck turned so they were face-to-face.

“Just you wait,” Buck teased. “When you finally get to meet Christopher you’re going to think the same thing.”

“With your glowing approval how could I not?”

Buck chuckled again, giving Tim a quick kiss before pulling away to get dressed.

“Grab a shower,” he said. “And I’ll fix us something light to eat and then we can just cuddle on the couch or something.”

He gave Tim another quick peck before stepping away, dressing quickly in his sweats and Tim’s old Army t-shirt that he loved so much and heading for the kitchen.

He whipped up some grilled cheese sandwiches using the last of their smoked gouda and havarti. He was just setting everything on the coffee table when Tim joined him. They settled in, neither really talking and some Netflix documentary playing quietly though neither really paid it much mind as they ate. They were just content in the peace that came from both of them making it home in one piece after such a chaotic day.

After a while, food gone, drinks left forgotten on the coffee table, Buck curled into Tim’s side, the man’s arm wrapped around him, hand rubbing over Buck’s side gently, Buck tipped his head against Tim’s shoulder and looked up at the man.

“So,” he said softly. “I’ve been thinking…”

“Dangerous habit, but go on.”

Buck gently nudged Tim in the ribs, earning a laugh and a gentle squeeze to his side in return.

“I’ve been thinking,” Buck repeated, putting emphasis on the words as though it was really needed. “You know those DNA sites that let you connect with family and stuff?”

Tim hummed thoughtfully.

“Yeah, one of my cousins used one and found, like, an entire branch of her mom’s family she didn’t even know existed.”

Tim looked at Buck, gaze knowing, and his hand moved from the younger man’s side to rub over the back of his shoulder.

“You’re thinking about trying to find your biological family.”

It wasn’t a question and Buck appreciated that Tim knew him well enough to know that.

“Like I said, I’ve been thinking about it for a while but…I don’t know…seeing Eddie with Chris just…hit me somehow and I…I just really want to know if I’ve got family out there somewhere.”

Tim’s hand lifted again, this time combing lightly through Buck’s hair, smiling softly at the younger man.

“I’d say it’s a solid plan,” Tim said, fingers still combing through Buck’s hair. “You talk to your Dad about it?”

Buck shook his head and if Tim was surprised by the admission he didn’t let it show.

“I just…I don’t want him to think or feel like he’s not enough for me. He’s my Dad, he’ll always be my Dad, nothing will ever change that but I…I need to know.”

Tim hugged him and pressed a kiss to his temple.

“Have you considered what you’ll do if the answers you find aren’t what you expected?”

Buck huffed.

“Honestly, babe? I’m not expecting anything. Not from the people who just…who threw me away like I was nothing. But I need to know who they are. I need to know why. It won’t make anything better or…or fix the broken kid I was but I need to know. To get answers if I can.”

Tim kissed his temple again.

“If this is what you want to do, what you need to do, I’m on your side. Always.”

“I know,” Buck said, tipping his head up and giving Tim a quick kiss. “And I love you all the more for it.”

Chapter Text

It was a month after signing up for the DNA website that, halfway through a slow shift, Buck’s phone chirped with an e-mail notification from the site.

He was sprawled on the couch, having been watching Hen absolutely wreck Chim at Mario Kart, when he got the notification and, though a thrill of excitement shot through him, he was a little hesitant to open it.

“Something wrong, Buck,” Eddie asked from where he’d been sitting at the table, going over some pamphlet for a robotics program at Christopher’s school.

Because of course it would be Eddie, who he had developed this uncanny bond with, who could read him almost as easily as Tim could, who would pick up on his sudden shift in mood.

And, of course, all eyes in the loft turned to Buck.

“Uh…”

Buck swallowed thickly and slowly sat up, almost able to feel the weight of Bobby’s gaze from where he stood in the kitchen, cooking lunch for everyone.

“So, umm, a few weeks back I…I signed up for one of those DNA sites. The ones that help you connect with family and stuff.”

Buck risked a glance at Bobby, worried about his reaction because he hadn’t told the man before now about his decision, but, aside from a surprised expression, Bobby didn’t look upset or anything.

“You got a match?”

The question came from Hen and Buck nodded.

“Yeah, uh…just now actually.” Buck looked down at his phone and then back up at the team. “I just…”

“You’re nervous,” Eddie supplied and again Buck nodded.

“You know that’s okay, Buckaroo,” Chimney said, turning completely in his seat to face Buck. “Besides, it could just be some fifth cousin twice removed with a couple extra toes or something.”

Hen smacked Chimney in the arm, resulting in a semi-quiet bickering moment between the two where Hen tried to explain sensitivity to her partner, while Bobby moved, lunch abandoned on the counter, crossing the loft to settle on the couch next to Buck, his hand curling over his son’s shoulder.

“Hey, look at me, Evan.”

Buck turned his head to meet his Dad’s gaze.

Bobby smiled at him.

That soft, loving, reassuring smile that had always made Buck feel safe.

“It’s okay to be nervous,” he said warmly. “This was a huge step to take and don’t for a second think I’m not happy or proud for you, okay?

You can take all the time you need before opening that e-mail or reaching out to whomever it’s connected you too. And, when you’re ready, where all here for you no matter what.”

Buck smiled and nodded, glancing at his phone again, and, his Dad’s hand still on his shoulder, he opened the e-mail.

The others all stayed silent, watching him, waiting for whatever news he was willing to share.

When he looked up, he looked a little shaken, definitely surprised, and the first person he looked at was Bobby.

His declaration was almost whispered.

“I have a sister.”

The rest of shift was kind of a blur for Buck and, by the end of it, he still had no idea what to do with the new information.

Which was why he found himself just sitting in his Jeep after shift ended, staring at his phone, at the profile the DNA website had linked him too.

Madeline Buckley.

There was even a picture of her.

The first thing he thought when looking at that picture was we don’t look anything alike.

His second thought was she has a nice smile.

The information section of her profile was, he found, a little lacking with only the bare minimum of details and he couldn’t help but wonder why that was. Was she like him? Had she been abandoned too?

His gaze lingered though on the spot listing her parents as living but set to private.

Were those her biological parents? Or did she have adoptive or foster parents?

He had thought the notification would help give him answers but instead there was just a small mountain of new questions forming.

And he was hesitant to reach out to Madeline.

What was he supposed to say?

How did you even start that sort of conversation?

Hi, my name’s Evan and I don’t know if you knew about me or not but I’m apparently your little brother?

Yeah, no, that just didn’t seem right.

“Hey, Buckaroo.”

Athena’s voice cut through the silence even as her hand combed gently, lovingly, through his hair.

“Heard you got some serious news today,” she said, settling on the bench next to him, smiling softly. “Thought maybe you could use somebody to talk to.”

“I…I’m fine,” Buck tried but the look on Athena’s face told him she wasn’t buying it.

“Want to try that again?”

“I…”

Buck looked down at his phone again. At that smiling face of his newfound sister. And his heart clenched even as he felt that wave of uncertainty crash over him again.

“I have a sister,” he admitted quietly. “And I…I don’t really know how I feel about it.”

Athena gave a nod and ran her fingers through his hair again. The gesture gentle and loving. A mother’s touch.

“It’s a lot to take in,” she agreed. “Especially after all this time and everything you’ve been through.” She glanced at his phone, at the picture of his sister. “I could run a background check if you want, just to make sure she’s not some sort of nut job.”

Buck couldn’t help but chuckle at the offer because it was such an Athena thing to suggest. She was a fierce mama bear when it came to her kids and, he was happy to know, she’d counted him as one of her own for years.

“I think we’ll hold off on that for now. I haven’t even figured out yet how to start a conversation with her yet.”

“Now I’m an old fashioned woman at heart so I think you couldn’t go wrong with a simple Hi, I’m Evan.”

Again Buck chuckled because of course Athena could make it all sound so obvious even when he still felt like the world was spinning around him.

“You don’t have to do anything right now, Buck,” Athena told him, the words echoing what Bobby had told him earlier. “You can take all the time you need. You don’t owe this woman anything.”

“And what…what if she reaches out to me first?”

“Same thing applies, honey. You don’t have to do anything until you’re ready to do it.”

She leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“In the meantime though,” she said, standing, reaching down to take his hand and tug him to his feet. “You’re coming home for dinner.”

“What if I have plans with Tim?”

Athena raised an eyebrow.

“Do you have plans with Tim?”

“No,” Buck admitted with a small grin. “But what would you have said if I did?”

“That you tell him to get his butt to my house because we’re having dinner.”

Buck laughed.

Of course that would have been Athena solution.

“Alright, alright,” he chuckled, grabbing his duffle bag from the floor, tucking his phone away. “I’ll follow you to the house?”

“Sounds good, honey.”

Buck smiled and together they left the station.

A few hours, and an amazing meal and wonderful company, later found Buck sitting in one of the patio chairs at Athena’s, watching May chase Harry around the yard with a water gun, both Grant kids laughing and shouting in delight. Across the patio, Athena sat in her own chair, glass of wine abandoned on the little table next to her, a warm, loving smile on her face as she watched the kids, and, lingering by the sliding door, Bobby and Michael stood talking about a new project Michael was starting that involved some old building downtown.

Buck sat there, taking it all in, the warmth and sense of belonging, and felt complete.

This was his home.

This was his family.

No matter what happened.

He would always have this.

Harry went screeching by, ignoring his mother’s call to watch where he was going, and Buck smiled like the proud big brother he was as May managed to land a good shot at the back of the boy’s head.

Watching them, watching the kids he had long viewed as his siblings, something stirred in him and he found himself pulling his cell phone out, opening the DNA website app.

He pulled up Madeline’s profile.

Her picture smiled up at him and, though his gut clenched with nerves, with fear, he quickly tapped the little message button and, before he could talk himself out of it, typed out a message.

Hi, Madeline.
My name is Evan and, according to a DNA test, I’m your little brother.

He drew a deep breath, looking around at his family, gaze landing solidly on his Dad, who was laughing at something Michael said, and, refusing to second guess himself, hit send.

Chapter Text

Buck sat in a small, charming café just a few streets away from the firehouse, trying not to let his nerves get the best of him.

It had been weeks of e-mailing and messaging Maddie, as she had insisted he call her, trying to get a feel for one another. Weeks of feeling unbalanced and uncertain and more awkward than he had felt since he was a teenager.

He kept personal details vague, as per advice from Athena and Tim, and had answered questions with things like: oh, I’m living in California and you’re a nurse? cool. I tried a bunch of things but I’m a first responder now. He imagined the answers, and the non-answers such as some had been, had not been what Maddie had expected after receiving his first message but she never called him out or questioned him about it. Maybe she had understood, given how they’d found one another, that he would be rightly cautious.

When she’d mentioned, a week ago, that she was going to be in Los Angeles for a while, Buck hadn’t immediately replied. Hell, it had taken nearly a full day for him to reply. But when he had it had been the offer of meeting face to face he hadn’t worried he’d made a mistake. He wanted to meet Maddie. And, as it turned out, she wanted to meet him.

So, there he was, waiting for her.

He fiddled with the lid of his coffee cup and glanced down at his phone.

He had a bunch of encouraging and supportive messages from his friends and family, the one from Chimney had made use of a GIF of a cheerleader waving pompoms and had him grinning as he typed out a quick reply. He had just hit the send button when someone cleared their throat.

“Evan?”

Buck’s head snapped up and he felt his heart beat faster because, yes, standing in front of him was Maddie.

“Uh…hi…” Buck wasn’t sure what to do, what to say, and, it seemed, Maddie was just as uncertain because she fidgeted slightly with the strap of her purse. “Uh…do you…would you like to sit down?”

Maddie gave a slight smile before slowly settling into the chair across from him.

There was silence between them, uncertain, maybe a little awkward, and Buck found himself again fiddling with his coffee cup. The minutes of silence felt like they dragged on for hours before, finally, Buck managed to find his voice.

“So…umm…it’s nice to actually meet you,” he said. “How…How are you enjoying L.A.?”

“It’s surprisingly nice,” was her reply, that slight smile still on her face. “A bit confusing, to be honest. Some of the streets seem to sort of blend together.”

“Oh, yeah,” Buck chuckled. “Dad was constantly getting turned around when we first moved here.”

Maddie’s smile never wavered but there was a flicker of something in her eyes. Something that was there and gone too quickly for him to figure out what it was. Was it the mention of his Dad? Did it make her uncomfortable?

“You didn’t always live in California?”

Buck shook his head.

“We moved here when I was ten,” he explained, still keeping to vague answers, remembering how Tim had cautioned him again that morning about giving out too much information too quickly. “What about you? Where’s home?”

Maddie hummed almost thoughtfully.

“I currently live in Boston,” she said. “But I grew up in Pennsylvania.”

Buck swallowed.

Pennsylvania.

“Were…Were you born there? In Pennsylvania, I mean.”

“Yes.” Maddie said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world but then her smile dipped as she seemed to realize something. “Were you not...I mean...do you not know where you were born?”

Buck shook his head, fingers plucking nervously at the lid of his coffee again.

“No. No, I…I grew up in Minnesota and there…there wasn’t any information about me aside from my age and date of birth.”

“Oh.”

Maddie blinked, clearly surprised, clearly at a loss at what to do with that information, and that awkward silence settled over them again until, finally, she cleared her throat.

“You were adopted, right? Were…Were they good people? They loved you and took care of you?”

Buck gave a nod and couldn’t help the way he smiled at the memory of when Bobby and Marcy had told him they were adopting him, that he was going to be their son and they were going to be a family.

“I couldn’t have asked for better parents.”

That strange look was in Maddie’s eyes again but, just like before, it was gone just as quickly as it had come.

“That’s good,” she said, smiling right back at him. “I’m glad you had that, Evan.”

Part of him balked a bit at being called Evan and he nearly corrected her, nearly told her to call him Buck, but another part of him held that back. He wasn’t ready to be Buck to her. Not yet. Not just because they were related by blood.

“What…” He had to clear his throat, his emotions suddenly all over the map in a way he hadn’t expected. “What about you? What were your parents like?”

Maddie seemed to hesitate for a moment.

Was it that bad?

Had Maddie not been adopted or in a good home?

Shit, had he just reminded her of childhood trauma she’d rather forget?

“They’re good people,” she finally said, reaching up to tuck her hair behind her ear. “Everything was pretty average, I suppose, the white picket fence life and all that.”

“And are they…are…umm…”

“Are they my biological parents, you mean?”

Buck gave a short, jerky nod. He knew, from the DNA results, that he and Maddie were full siblings but he didn’t know anything else. They hadn’t really talked about that. It felt a little odd to bring it up now, like this, and maybe it could have waited for a while longer, but Buck didn’t think he could handle the elephant being in the room any longer.

He watched as Maddie worried her lower lip for a moment before she drew a deep breath, seemingly trying to brace herself.

“Yes,” she said softly, gaze darting away from Buck momentarily. “Yes, they are.”

It felt like the bottom dropped out of Buck’s stomach.

“Oh,” was the only word he could croak out and Maddie looked genuinely sympathetic.

“I don’t know what happened,” she was quick to say, as though trying to reassure him, or herself maybe, he didn’t really know and in that moment he wasn’t sure he cared. “I…I don’t even remember Mom being pregnant or…or having a baby. I don’t know how you…why you were…I’m sorry, Evan, I just…I don’t know.”

“It’s…It’s okay,” he said but Maddie shook her head.

“It’s not,” was her firm reply. “It’s not okay.”

She surprised him by reaching across the table and laying her hand gently over his.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m sorry for…for not having answers.”

Buck quickly shook his head.

“It’s not your fault.”

And it wasn’t.

Maddie wasn’t to blame for whatever had happened and she certainly wasn’t to blame for her parents never telling her about it.

“And don’t think you have to ask them anything on my behalf,” he was quick to reassure her even if part of him was screaming, demanding, that she do just that so they could get some real answers. “I…I don’t want to cause problems between you and them. I don’t. I just…I just wanted to find out more about whatever family I had out there.”

Maddie gave his hand a squeeze and smiled at him again.

“I can tell you stuff,” she said. “About our grandparents and our family and whatever else you want to know. I…I don’t have pictures on my phone or anything but after I go back to Boston I could send you some stuff.”

“I’d like that.”

Buck smiled and Maddie’s grew in response.

They made what amounted to small talk after that, Maddie talking about her job as a nurse and Buck in turn told her about some of the more wild calls, before finally parting ways, agreeing to meet again before Maddie left the city. He made certain she was safely in her Uber before heading for the parking lot and his Jeep. He had just climbed in behind the wheel when his phone rang. A quick glance at the caller ID had him smiling.

“Hey, babe,” he greeted warmly. “Aren’t you supposed to be working?”

“I am,” Tim replied. “I’m currently watching my new boot try to wrangle what looks to be an opossum. Just thought I’d check in, see how the meet up went.”

“It…It was fine.” Buck frowned. “Did you say your rookie is chasing an opossum? Shouldn’t you call animal control or something for that?”

“She can either handle it or figure out she should have called animal control twenty minutes ago.”

Oh there was definitely a hint of amusement in Tim’s voice.

“This is one of your Tim Tests, right?”

“Might be,” Tim replied. “So the meeting was fine, huh?”

Buck sighed softly.

“My birth parents raised Maddie. She didn’t even know I existed.”

There was nothing from Tim’s end for a few moments, the man clearly trying to process what Buck had just told him, and then their was a quietly muttered fuck.

“I…I don’t know what to say,” the older man admitted softly and Buck could easily picture the gentle, loving look on Tim’s face. “Can…Is it okay if I say I’m sorry? I know you said this morning you weren’t going to get your hopes up about anything but it couldn’t have been easy to hear that.”

“It wasn’t but I…I’m okay. Or at least I think I’m okay.” He huffed. “It’s a lot to take in.”

“Do you need me to swing by?”

Buck smiled to himself.

“No, no I’m okay. I think I’m just going to send everyone a group text because I know they’ll be waiting for an update and then head home.”

“Alright, if you’re sure,” Tim replied. “I’ll see you when I get home after my shift. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

Buck was still smiling as he ended the call.

Chapter Text

Buck couldn’t say for sure but as the days turned to weeks, turned to months, talking to Maddie began to feel odd.

They’d only met once more before she’d before she’d left Los Angeles and, once she was home, she’d sent him copies of photographs and details about their grandparents and family history just as she’d promised and their conversations flowed just as easily as they had before but there was something that had started to not sit right with him.

Her replies had started coming with less frequency and were short or felt clipped.

Like she was trying to hold back or distance herself from the situation.

Buck had, naturally, told no one about the development in his relationship, and was it even a relationship at this point, with Maddie.

When asked he simply said things were fine.

He knew from the looks he got, especially from Tim and his Dad, that they knew he was lying but, thankfully, they didn’t push the matter and were happy, or at least pretending to be happy, with his answer.

And after going a full week without a reply he decided the best thing to do was to just wait until Maddie replied to him. He didn’t like it, especially not since he’d thought they were getting on so well and building the foundation for, at the very least, a friendship, but he had to protect himself some how from the hurt her sudden withdraw had caused him and this felt like the best course of action.

So he was plenty surprised one morning when he popped into his favourite coffee shop to grab a pick-me-up before meeting Michael and the kids for breakfast and saw none other than Maddie.

He had just been turning away from the pickup counter, had just started to take a sip of his coffee, and had come face to face with her.

She looked as surprised as he felt.

“Evan,” she said, wide eyes darting from Buck to the man she was clearly with. “Uh…I…”

“Hey, Maddie,” Buck greeted, feeling a bit like he was off kilter. “I didn’t expect to run into you here.”

Maddie smiled, or tried to, given how nervous she suddenly seemed to be, fidgeting and glancing between Buck and the man.

“Oh, I…”

“Who’s your friend, Mads?” The man asked, smiling, looking at Buck. “Sorry, she’s been a bit scatter brained lately.”

Buck swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat, trying to find his voice again but, it turned out, Maddie found hers first.

“Oh, this is Evan,” she said quickly, smiling up at the man even as her eyes begged Buck to play along. “I met him last time I was in town.”

She looked at Buck again.

“Evan, this is…this is Daniel,” she sounded quite strained and she looked almost ready to bolt or like she was hoping the floor would suddenly open up and swallow her.

“Mads,” the man, Daniel, his name was Daniel, said with a teasing grin. “When you were telling me what you enjoyed best about LA you failed to mention having a handsome young beau.”

Maddie’s face went a bright shade of red and she looked hurriedly at Buck, who just stood there, blinking, still uncertain how to react or what to say.

“He…He’s not a…a beau. He’s…He’s just a friend.”

“I’m sure,” Daniel laughed before turning his focus to Buck. “Sorry, about that.” He extended his hand. “Hi, I’m Daniel Buckley. I’m Maddie’s little brother.”

Buck felt like he’d been plunged into ice water.

He shook Daniel’s hand on reflex even as his thoughts began to race.

“Uh…hi…” He felt like he was speaking around sandpaper. “Evan. Evan Nash.”

Daniel smiled.

“So how did you two meet?”

Buck froze up and looked at Maddie, terribly uncertain, and though she looked like a deer in the headlights she at least was able to string a lie together.

“My friend from the hospital introduced us,” Maddie sounded so very convincing and Buck dumbly nodded along. “Evan’s a firefighter.”

“Really,” Daniel looked at Buck again, still grinning. “I’m an ER and trauma doctor at Cedar Sinai.”

“Sounds exciting,” Buck managed to get out before making it a point of checking his watch. “Sorry, I’d stay and chat but I’m supposed to meet my fam…” He shook his head. “I’ve got somewhere I need to be and I’m running a bit late.”

He forced a shaky smile on his face as he looked Daniel in the eye, heart suddenly pounding against his ribs.

“It was nice to meet you.”

Buck took his leave then, barely giving Maddie or Daniel enough time to respond, barely able to breathe until he was out on the sidewalk and even then it was difficult.

He nearly came out of his skin when someone touched his arm.

Spinning around he was surprised to find Maddie standing there.

He wasn’t surprised that she looked nervous and guilty in equal turns.

“Evan,” she started but, without Daniel present as a witness, Buck had no trouble finding his voice.

“Is he my…our…no…my brother?”

“Evan…”

“Answer me, Madeline,” Buck snapped, hand tightening around his coffee cup dangerously. “You told me you’d be honest with me. So come on, be honest, and tell me, is Daniel my brother too?”

Maddie gave him a look like a child caught in a lie.

The quiet words out of her mouth were what he expected but it still felt like a physical blow.

“Yes, he is.”

Buck’s fingers went numb and his coffee tumbled from his hand, splashing across the sideway and up the leg of his pants, and the world seemed to go quiet around him yet it felt like his ears were ringing. He wasn’t fully aware of moving, of turning and storming off down the street. He thought Maddie might have called after him but he couldn’t be certain. He just operated on a sort of autopilot until he found himself sitting behind the wheel of his Jeep.

He came back to himself gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were white, keys dangling from the ignition, and his chest heaving as a sob bubbled out of his trembling lips, tears spilling silently down his face.

Sitting there, Buck felt strangely, not broken exactly, but cracked. Like a single tap would shatter everything the rest of the way.

His sobs eventually tapered off, leaving him hiccupping softly, hands scrubbing over his face, trying to get rid of the lingering tears and he felt more hollow, more exhausted than he had in a very long time.

He had nearly pulled himself together, knowing he was going to be late for breakfast, when his cell phone rang.

He drew a deep breath, trying to calm himself, worried his voice might crack or something, before answering the call.

“Hey, Michael, I…I know I’m late.” He started the Jeep. “I’ll be there in like ten minutes. Fifteen depending on traffic.”

“Just so long as you get here in one piece,” Michael laughed. “Alright, bud, we’ll see you in a few.”

“See you soon.”

Buck ended the call, hurriedly buckled his seatbelt and headed off for the café.

Michael Grant liked to think of himself as an observant man. As an architect he had to be. So when Buck finally arrived for breakfast, looking a little green around the gills and a little worse for wear he immediately took note even if he did not immediately press the issue.

Not with May and Harry at the table, bombarding their beloved big brother with stories and questions, all in the name of, according to Harry, catching up with Buck even though, as Michael knew very well, the trio had seen each other just two nights ago at the Grant-Nash house.

So, all through breakfast, Michael kept a careful watch on Buck, and, when the kids decided they wanted to go get frozen yogurt, he and Buck, who tagged along because his Jeep was parked down passed the yogurt place, followed along behind down the street and Michael took his chance.

“Is everything okay, Buck,” he asked casually, trying not to seem like he was prying.

“I…” Buck glanced quickly at him. “Yeah. Yeah, everything’s…everything’s fine.”

“If I say you don’t sound convincing would that be a bad thing?”

Buck huffed softly.

“Am I that transparent?”

“I’m a dad and I notice when one of my kids is upset.”

That got him a small, shy smile out of Buck and he smiled proudly back. Buck may not have been his by blood but, just like Athena had, he had all but adopted the young man years ago. Buck was as much his son as Harry.

“Now,” Michael continued. “If you’re not ready to talk about it, that’s okay, I just want you to know that, if you do want to talk about it, whatever it is, I am more than happy and willing to…”

“I’ve got a brother.”

Michael stared at Buck, shocked by the blurted news, but recovered quickly.

“Did…Did your sister just tell you that?”

“Nope,” Buck made certain to pop the p and shook his head. “I ran into her, and him, at my coffee place.”

“You ran into…oh.” Michael let out a low sound. “She never hinted at other siblings, did she?”

Buck shook his head again and gave a humourless laugh.

“I trusted her,” he muttered almost dejectedly. “She said she’d tell me about our family and…and I guess she did. More or less. She just failed to mention that, on top of the parents she seems determines never to discuss with me, I’ve apparently got a brother. A brother who, as it turns out, lives right here in L.A. and who works at one of the hospitals I frequent because of my job.”

Buck scrubbed a hand over his face.

“I’m sorry I was so distracted by it,” he said with a huff of breath. “I tried to shake it, I did, but I just…”

“Hey, no.” Michael caught Buck by the arm, tugging him to a stop. “No, do not apologize. What happened this morning is not on you, okay? Not one bit of it.”

Michael gave Buck’s arm what he hoped was a reassuring squeeze.

“It’s not your fault, Buckaroo,” Michael said. “It’s not. And you’re allowed to feel however you feel about it. You’re allowed to react to it however you want. Same as you can take however long you need to process it. I know it make not feel like it right now but you are in control, Evan. You are in control.”

Buck gave a nod but his expression, his gaze, told Michael he was having a hard time believing that.

Michael had just started to think he should reassure the young man again when May and Harry called out to him, Harry gesturing excitedly to the yogurt shop and acting as though he hadn’t just eaten a big breakfast. Buck laughed and gave him a little nudge.

“Go on,” Buck said with a small smile. “Better not keep them waiting. Harry’s starting to look a little feral for that yogurt.”

Michael hugged him, reminding him quietly that if he wanted to talk he’d listen, no matter what, before heading after his younger two kids.

Buck watched Michael and the kids disappear into the shop before continuing on his own way. He was nearly to his Jeep when, Michael’s words about talking to someone, about not bottling everything up, running through his mind, he fished his phone from his pocket before climbing in behind the wheel. He scrolled quickly through his contacts until he found the one he wanted. The call, he was not surprised, was picked up by the third ring.

“Hey, babe,” Tim greeted with his usual warmth and Buck couldn’t help but smile even if he still felt like his entire world was off kilter. “You still having breakfast with Michael and the kids?”

“Just…uh…Just left them actually.”

“What’s going on, Evan?”

Leave it to Tim to be halfway across the city and still able to read him like a book.

And Buck, having been struggling all morning to keep everything in, found the words, the truth, falling from his lips like water through a crack in a dam.

Chapter Text

Tim Bradford was not, as most anyone who knew him could confirm, a man for lies or secrets.

So when the man he loved, the man he wanted to marry, to have a full and happy life with, called him seemingly out of the blue to tell him what had happened that morning, the surprise that had been dumped in his lap so unceremoniously, Tim had done the one thing he had sworn not to do when Buck had first connected with Madeline Buckley.

When he and Lucy returned from patrol, he had left his rookie to book their perp and gone up to the bullpen to his desk.

Pulling up the national database, Tim had entered in all the information he knew about Buck’s sister. He honestly wasn’t expecting to find anything, not given the way Buck had talked, Madeline Buckley had seemed, on the surface, squeaky clean. So he was quite surprised when he actually found something. He printed out a copy of what he’d found so, when the time was right, he would have them to use.

The rest of his shift, all ten hours, seemed to drag on until he was finally leaving the station and heading home. He sent Buck a quick text to let him know he was on his way and that he was picking up pizza and beer.

Buck’s reply had been a simple kk.

So, naturally, Tim had picked up the younger man’s favourite deep dish pizza and beer, as well as a very large tub of banana fudge ice cream, before heading to the house.

The house was quiet when he walked in, not surprising, given the morning Buck had had, and Tim quickly put away the beer and ice cream, leaving the pizza on the counter, before going in search of his boyfriend.

He found Buck curled up in bed, looking a little lost and adrift, and he immediately crawled onto the bed and wrapped himself around the younger man, pulling him close and pressing a kiss against Buck’s temple right over his birthmark.

“Hey,” Tim murmured, lips brushing against Buck’s skin. “How are you doing?”

Buck cuddled in closer, fingers playing absently with the sleeve of Tim’s t-shirt, and gave a long, slow sigh.

“Feel like I don’t know up from down any more.”

“Did you reach out to Doctor Copeland?”

“Got an appointment for the morning.”

“That’s good.” Tim pressed another kiss to Buck’s temple. “That’s good, babe.”

Buck gave a soft little hum.

“I don’t understand how she could just keep something so important from me,” he said. “Like…how hard would it have been to say hey, by the way, we have a brother?”

“I don’t know,” Tim replied gently. “I don’t know what she was thinking or feeling or why she did what she did. Only she knows any of that. What I do know is that her not telling you is not your fault. It’s not on you.

You are searching for your birth family, for answers, and right now those answers suck and you’re hurting and I wish I could take that hurt away or find you a way to get answers without it hurting so much but I can’t. I can’t and I hate that and…”

“Hey, no, no, no,” Buck leaned up a bit so he could look Tim in the eye. “You…You have been so amazing. For all of this. I…I threw my life into a spiral when I signed up for that website and found Maddie. I knew…I knew I may not like what I found but you and…and everybody else have supported and loved me through all of it and I…I don’t know if I could have handled all of this without all of you. Without you.”

He kissed Tim then, slow and deep, full of all the emotion he could muster.

“I love that you hate what I’m going through,” he said when he drew back a bit, Tim’s hand rubbing over his side gently. “And I love that you want to make it all better.”

He smiled for what felt like the first time all day since learning about Daniel.

“Most importantly is that I love you for being here for me. Even when you know you can’t make it better you’re here. You choose me. And I love you for that. More than I’ll probably ever be able to say.”

He kissed Tim again.

“I love you, Tim Bradford.”

Buck’s smile widened just a touch and though the sadness, the hurt, was still bright as day in his eyes, Tim saw the love and the strength there too.

He reached up and cupped Buck’s cheek.

“You are an amazing man, Evan Nash, never let anyone tell you different,” Tim said with a warm, loving smile. “And, just for the record, I love you too.”

They shared another kiss, and then another and another, before Tim drew back just a bit.

“I’ve got the pizza and beer in the kitchen,” he said, hand rubbing over Buck’s side again. “Plus an entire tub of banana fudge ice cream. How about we just spend the rest of the night in front of the tv watching one of those ridiculous reality shows you like so much?”

When Buck laughed, Tim considered it a victory.

“I seem to recall a certain somebody all but screaming about an injustice when his favourite drag queen got kicked off last week,” Buck teased and Tim huffed, trying to act offended but his fond, loving smile gave him away.

“Come on,” Tim said, slowly moving to roll away from Buck, extending a hand to the younger man once he was on his feet. “Pizza, beer, ice cream and cheesy television await.”

Buck laughed again and grabbed Tim’s hand, letting his boyfriend pull him to his feet, still laughing as Tim led him from the bedroom and down the hall to make good on his promise of pizza, beer, ice cream and cheesy television.

Buck walked into the fire station for his shift the next morning trying not to act oddly or let on that anything was going on with him.

The bombshell Maddie had dropped on him was still rattling around in his mind and had him a little out of sorts but he couldn’t, and wouldn’t, let that effect the job.

So, after dropping his bag in his locker, he bounded up the stairs to the loft, finding Bobby, Eddie and Hen already there.

“Good morning Fire Family,” he all but crowed. “It is a beautiful day out there. Who’s ready to save lives?”

Eddie leaned back in his chair, tipping his head back so he could peer up at Buck with a frown.

“You’re too cheery,” he grumbled before looking at Bobby. “Cap, your kid is too cheery.”

“I did notice, Eddie.” Bobby chuckled and looked at Buck. “Everything okay, kiddo?”

Buck froze for a moment as he was reaching for a muffin from the table, blinking, and then quickly shook himself out of it, hoping no one had noticed.

“Yeah,” he said with a shaky grin. “Yeah, everything’s good.”

Eddie and Hen exchanged a look.

“Is that why you look like Denny when he’s caught with his hand in the cookie jar,” Hen asked, setting aside the book she’d been reading to focus on him.

“I…I’m not…what are you…why…”

“Hey, guys!”

Chimney’s voice cut over Buck’s stumbling words as he came bounding up the stairs, looking as bright and cheery as Buck had been pretending to be.

“So,” Chimney was still talking as he moved towards the coffee maker. “You guys will never believe this but I met the cutest girl at the coffee shop yesterday.”

Hen rolled her eyes even as Bobby and Eddie exchanged a look, Buck using the obvious distraction to grab his muffin and take his usually spot next to Eddie at the table. Bobby hummed, looking from Buck to Chimney.

“So does this mean you’re finally over Tatiana?”

“Oh, Cap,” Chimney said, waving his coffee mug dramatically through the air like an actor on a stage. “My heart belongs no more to the woman of yore but, perhaps, it could belong to the lovely lady of the coffee shop.”

“Oh God,” Hen muttered, shaking her head. “Do not quit your day job, Chim.”

Laughter rang out even as Chimney made an indignant squawking sound and Buck was thankful for the distraction, thankful the team had decided ribbing Chimney about his love life was more important than figuring out what was going on with him.

He had just taken a bite of his muffin, snorting lightly when Bobby pointed out to Chimney that, this time around, it might not be best to lie to his potential new girlfriend about unimportant stuff, when the bell rang and sent them all scrambling for the truck and ambulance.

The call was to an accident at a house undergoing renovations.

The homeowner had, according to the caller, been injured while attempting to help get a set of customer built bookcases up a flight of stairs. Apparently one of the ratchet straps had snapped just as they reached the second floor and a piece of metal had caught the homeowner across the arm and, in surprise, the man had then taken a tumble down the stairs.

Nothing too wild or out of the ordinary and Buck expected it to take all of a few minutes, long enough to stabilize the homeowner and get him loaded up in the ambulance for Chimney and Hen to deal with.

The last thing he expected, stepping through the grand double doors of the equally grand looking house, was to find Daniel Buckley sitting on the floor at the bottom of the stairs looking a bit dazed.

“Oh, thank god,” the worker kneeling next to Daniel said, eyes wide and voice trembling a little, hands pressing a blood soaked towel around Daniel’s arm. “I…I’ve been trying to stop it but…but it just…”

“It’s alright,” Hen was quick to reassure the man as she knelt next to him, reaching out for the towel. “You did good.” She looked at Daniel. “Hi, I’m Hen. You mind if I take a look at that?”

Daniel, gritting his teeth, gave a nod and Hen took over care of his arm while Chimney checked his cognitive responses in case he’d hit his head during his fall.

Hen grimaced at bit of the sight of the cut and quickly exchanged the towel for a pressure bandage from her kit before reaching for an IV line and she had just started to insert the line when Daniel spoke.

“H…Hey, Evan,” he sounded a bit shaky. “Fancy…seeing you here.”

Hen and Chimney exchanged a look even as, off to the side, Bobby frowned while Eddie’s gaze swung to Buck.

“Hey,” Buck swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat. “Uh, heck of a second meeting, huh?”

Daniel laughed even as he winced as Hen wrapped his arm with gauze.

“Definitely not how I’d…shit…how I hoped we’d meet again.”

Before Buck could respond, or even think of how to respond, Hen announced that Daniel was ready for transport and asked Buck to get the gurney.

Buck hurried to do as Hen asked and, once he returned with the gurney, he helped Daniel to stand and onto the gurney.

“There we go,” Buck said as Daniel rested against the head of the gurney, able to finally find what Athena called his work voice. “Chim and Hen are going to get you to the hospital to get that arm looked and before you know it you’ll be back to treating patients of your own, Doc.”

“Hey,” Daniel grinned at him. “You remembered.”

“I did.”

Buck stepped back and gave Chimney, who was looking at him a little funnily, a subtle nod to indicate patient was ready to go but, before they could get far, Daniel was asking them to stop and getting a scrap of paper and pen from one of the workers. He scribbled something down and held it out to Buck.

“My phone number,” Daniel explained, still grinning.

Buck felt his heart lurch in his chest, thinking again of how Maddie had told Daniel they were friends, just friends, as he accepted the paper.

“After all,” Daniel continued, still grinning just a touch before giving a wink. “Why should my sister get keep you all to herself?”

Buck felt the various gazes that swung to him at that before, thankfully, Hen said something about needing to get Daniel to the hospital and, just like that, they were off.

Climbing back into the truck with his Dad and Eddie, Buck braced himself for what he knew was coming. What he’d known was coming from the moment he and Daniel had acknowledged knowing one another. It took, he was surprised to say, a little longer for his Dad to half turn in his seat in order to look at him questioningly.

“So,” Bobby asked. “How exactly do you and our patient know each other?”

“Dad…”

“Because I’m know all your friends and I don’t ever remember seeing him before and…”

Buck let out a low sound and, unbidden, words fell from his lips.

“He’s my brother.”

Silence fell over the truck and Buck swore he could hear his heart beating even as, though he didn’t understand why, he found himself saying it again.

“He’s my brother.”

Chapter Text

Bobby Nash sat in his office long after his team had retired to the bunk room to get some rest between calls. It had already been, as far as Bobby was concerned, a long day. Buck’s announcement after their first call had certain thrown him, and Eddie, for a loop.

A brother.

His son had a brother.

A brother he hadn’t known about until just recently because Maddie Buckley seemed intent on keeping secrets.

When Buck had first announced he was going to try and find his birth family Bobby had not been completely on board. He’d worried what the fallout of that search might be. But he’d presented Buck with nothing but a supportive father. He had said and done all the right things even if he wanted to just tell him to stop, beg him to reconsider, ask if he was no longer enough.

He knew it was irrational, the fear that Buck was searching for his birth family because suddenly he wasn’t enough as a father.

Buck loved him.

He would always be Buck’s father.

Because he was the one who had stepped up. He was the one who loved the little boy those people had left at a bus stop with nothing but a note and a backpack. He was the one who kissed scrapped knees and read bedtime stories and dealt with tantrums.

But, irrational or not, that doubt lingered in the back of his mind.

And along with that doubt now came anger.

Anger that his son was putting himself out there, trying to find this piece of his life that he had always wondered about, and instead of finding answers, no matter how painful those answers might be, he found a sister who seemed intent on keeping him in the dark and causing him more heartache and pain.

And it was that anger that fuelled what Bobby did next.

He fished a Post-It from his top drawer and picked up his cell phone.

He would never admit it but he’d snooped through Buck’s phone shortly after Maddie had come into the picture and had copied down the young woman’s phone number.

He knew Buck would be unhappy with him if he ever found out but Bobby was a father. And a father’s job was to protect his kid.

He picked up the landline on his desk, dialling the number and tried to keep control of his temper as the call rang through.

“Hello?”

She sounded young.

Maybe not as young as Buck but still young.

“Maddie Buckley?”

“Yes?”

“Miss Buckley my name is Robert Nash, you don’t know me but I’m…”

“You’re Evan’s dad.”

“That’s right.” Bobby drew a deep breath. “Miss Buckley, I’m sorry to be calling you out of the blue like this but I think it’s important you and I have a little chat.”

“Mr Nash, I’m sorry but…but I’m waiting for someone right now and…”

“Your brother, Daniel, right?”

There was silence for a beat.

“Mr Nash…”

“I understand that meeting with Buck must be difficult for you, Miss Buckley, I can ever understand you being hesitant with sharing certain things when you first met him but you’ve been talking to him for quite a while now and you dropped an ungodly bombshell on him at that coffee shop. And what’s worse is that Daniel seems to have no idea who Buck even is.”

“I’m sorry, Mr Nash, but I don’t see how any of this is your…”

Bobby snarled, tone sharp and dangerous.

“Don’t. Don’t you dare try to tell me this is none of my business. Buck is my son. Mine. What you did is tormenting my son and had him so tied up in knots today while treating your brother that I and his partner thought he was going to vibrate out of his skin.

So, no, Miss Buckley, you do not get to tell me this is none of my business.

Now, I would like to know what exactly you want with Buck. And I would like to know it now or, and I swear to God, I will convince Buck to cut all ties with you and take out a restraining order against you. I will even have my wife serve you the papers if need be. And I know Buck has told you about Athena.”

Maddie made a soft sound, a whimper really, and drew a shaky breath.

“Okay, Mr Nash. Okay.”

Bobby listened, carefully, silently, as Maddie Buckley explained everything and, when she was finished, he had to draw several long, deep breaths before he could speak.

“Tomorrow morning,” he growled. “You are going to call Buck. You’re going to ask to meet. And you are going to tell him everything. And I do mean everything, Miss Buckley. Because if you don’t, I will, and I will make certain you never get what you fucking want.”

Bobby slammed the phone down, effectively ending the call with his point made.

Buck was playing cards with Eddie and Hen after a call, trying to forget about that morning’s eventful revelation, when his cell phone suddenly buzzed with a text message.

Checking it, he was surprised to find it was from Maddie, asking him to meet her the next morning at the coffee place so they could talk. Really talk.

And Buck had no idea what to do.

“Buck?”

Hen’s voice caused him to snap back to the moment and he blinked almost owlishly.

“Huh?”

“You’ve been staring at your phone like it suddenly holds all the answers in the universe.” She frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“Uh…”

Eddie’s nose scrunched up slightly.

“Is it Maddie?”

Buck’s fingers twitched and Eddie reached over, hand curling over his wrist, giving a gentle squeeze.

“It’s okay,” Eddie said. “If you don’t want to talk about it…”

“She wants to meet me tomorrow,” Buck blurted, feeling fidgety all over. “Says she…she wants to talk.”

“And is she finally going to give you some real answers?” Hen’s eyebrow rose slightly as she spoke. “Or is this just going to be another game of dodge the questions she doesn’t want to answer?”

“I dunno.” Buck set his phone done. “Probably more of the latter.”

“Hmm.”

Hen and Eddie exchanged a look.

“Are you going to meet her,” Eddie asked and Buck gave a shrug.

“I mean…I probably should but I don’t…I don’t know if I can handle more of the same from her right now.”

“We could go with you as back up,” Eddie offered. “Sit at another table, keep watch and if things look like they’re going sideways we could run interference.”

Buck slowly started to smile.

“Would you guys really do that?”

Hen reached over, taking his hand, squeezing it.

“Of course we will.”

She smiled at him and in that moment Buck felt like Hen was more his big sister than Maddie would ever be. Hen, who had welcomed him to the 118, who looked out for him, who always has his best interests at heart, was his sister without even trying to be.

“I…I think I’d like that.”

Hen nodded, squeezing Buck’s hand again, and then they returned to their game.

Maddie Buckley had never, not once, thought that setting out to find her baby brother would result in things going the way they had.

She had had a plan.

Find her brother. Meet him. Convince him to help her. Go home and live her life.

She hadn’t expected to not be able to bring herself to actually tell Buck everything, to begin convincing him to help her, to want to help her.

She hadn’t expected to run into him while with Daniel or that Daniel would be curious as to who Buck was or how she knew him.

And she certainly hadn’t expected Buck’s father to call her and make his position on the matter clear.

Now she was sitting, waiting for Daniel to finish up with his discharge papers, chewing the skin around her thumbnail and wondering how exactly she could fix things and make it right. Because as things stood there was no way Buck was going to want to help her. She’d be lucky if she could convince him to even hear her out.

And then there was Daniel.

She had to tell him the truth.

The whole truth.

She should have told him years ago. She should have tried to find Buck years ago. She should have gone about all of this so differently.

Maybe then it wouldn’t all be ready to blow up in her face.

“Maddie?”

She looked up at Daniel’s voice, he was frowning, taking in her appearance and the look on her face and she drew a slow, deep breath.

“There’s…” She swallowed and gave him a shaky smile. “There’s something important I need to tell you. Something I should have told you…a…a long time ago.”

Chapter Text

Daniel Buckley sat on a bench outside Firehouse 118, trying to find the will, the courage, to actually go inside and ask to speak with Evan.

His little brother.

Did he even have the right to call Evan that? Would Evan even want him to be his big brother?

Oh, God, he’d been trying to flirt with his little brother.

All because his stupid big sister had decided to keep secrets that he should have been told years ago.

How hard would it have been for Maddie or their parents to sit him down and say oh, by the way, you have a little brother that we gave up for adoption after he saved your life when you were really sick as a kid?

He thought back to that first meeting with Evan, at the coffee shop, and his heart lurched as he realized that Evan’s initial reaction to him had been because of Maddie’s lies.

His first meeting with his little brother and Evan had run away so fast it was a miracle there hadn’t been a trail of smoke behind him.

All because of Maddie.

“Sir? Are you alright?”

Daniel startled and looked up, finding a man, maybe about his age, in a police uniform, standing a few feet from the bench, watching him with a frown.

“Oh…uh…sorry,” Daniel said with a forced chuckle. “I…uh…I’m fine. Just trying to…to find the courage to walk into that fire station and see my…my little brother. Who until about two hours ago I didn’t even know existed.”

The officer stared at him, not blinking, and Daniel realized what all had come tumbling out of his mouth.

“Oh…Oh my God, I…I am so sorry. That…That was so…”

“You’re Daniel, aren’t you? Daniel Buckley”

Daniel blinked.

“Uh, yeah, yeah I am.”

“Tim Bradford,” the officer said. “I’m Buck’s partner.”

“Buck?”

“Sorry. Forgot he said he didn’t tell Maddie about his nickname yet. I meant Evan.”

Daniel let out a soft chuckle without even meaning too.

“He goes by Buck? Is that…Is that because he remembers us? He remembers he’s a Buckley?”

Tim said nothing for a moment, looking momentarily uncomfortably before he quickly masked it.

“I think that’s something you should be asking Buck.”

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have put you in that position. You just said you’re his boyfriend. God, I’m…I’m sorry. I’m not normal such an idiot it’s just…it’s…”

“You just had a massive bombshell dropped on you,” Tim offered and Daniel nodded, never so thankful to have been given a verbal lifeline. “I imagine you felt about the same as he did running into you and your sister at the coffee shop.”

“I swear I never knew about him,” Daniel was quick to interject. “I swear no one ever mentioned him before today. If I had known I…I…” He swallowed thickly. “Honestly, I don’t know what I would have done but I do know I would have fought to find him. I wouldn’t have lied to him like Maddie’s done. I would never do that to him. He…He’s my little brother.”

Tim didn’t say anything for a few minutes, clearly weighing his words, but when he spoke it cut Daniel to the quick.

“And if he decides he doesn’t want to be your little brother?”

Daniel blinked.

And blinked again.

And again.

“What?”

The word was croaked, like Daniel didn’t understand what Tim was asking, like the idea that Evan…that Buck…not wanting to be his brother had never occurred to him until Tim spoke and have the awful, evil, vile idea life.

And now the doubt was creeping in like icy fingers around his heart.

“Why…Why would he not want…”

Tim almost growled.

“Maybe because your bitch of a sister has been lying to him since the moment they connected on that damn website? Maybe because none of this has been easy on him?

He went into this knowing he might not like what he found but I have watched as, day after day, the hope of finding something good dwindles and dwindles until now there is almost nothing fucking left and I am tired. I am sick and fucking tired of watching the man I love lose little pieces of himself to this madness.

So, no, you don’t get to sit here and think everything will come up sunshine and daisies. You need to prepare yourself, just like Buck did, for the worst because this? All of this? May not go the way you want.”

Daniel felt as though the world stopped.

Because no. No, he wasn’t prepared for things not working out between him and Buck. He wasn’t prepared to not be Buck’s big brother.

He’d been sitting here, daydreaming more or less, about the life he would have going forward, about Buck’s role in it, about his role in Buck’s life, and not once had he ever considered that maybe, just maybe, Buck wouldn’t want any of it.

His feelings must have shown on his face because Tim suddenly sighed and his features smoothed out slightly.

“Look,” Tim said, tone gentler than before. “You need to give him some time. Give him some space. Once he gets his head wrapped around everything he’ll…he’ll probably reach out to you himself.”

“Do you really think so?”

Tim gave a nod and Daniel breathed a sigh of relief.

“Okay,” Daniel said. “Okay, I…I can give him that. I’m his big brother. I can do that for him.”

That earned him a slight, barely there smile and yet it felt like a bit of the weight he’d been carrying since Maddie had told him the truth was lifted. Like he’d somehow proven himself to someone Buck loved.

Daniel used his phone to order an Uber before looking at Tim again.

“Take care of him, yeah? And…And maybe let him know that when he’s ready, whenever that is, I’ll be there.”

Tim gave a nod before turning and walking away, heading towards the fire station, and Daniel sat there until his car arrived.

Climbing into the backseat, Daniel drew a shaky, deep breath before scrolling through his contacts, hitting the call button when he found the one he was looking for.

“Good afternoon, Doctor Fox’s office, this is Courtney speaking. How can I help you?”

“Hi, Courtney, this is Daniel Buckley.”

“Oh, Doctor Buckley, hello. Doctor Fox was actually going to reach out again in the morning and…”

“That’s actually why I’m calling.” He swallowed around the lump. “I know I told him that I…that I wasn’t interested in doing anything about…my situation…but I…I think I’d like to schedule an appointment. To talk. To…To figure out my next steps.”

“Oh, that’s so wonderful to hear, Doctor Buckley.”

He could hear her fingers flying over the keys of her computer.

“As luck would have it Doctor Fox has an opening tomorrow afternoon. Does two o’clock work for you?”

“Yes. Yes, that will be perfect. Thank you.”

“Of course, Doctor Buckley. We’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“See you then, Courtney.”

Daniel sighed as he hung up and leaned back against the seat, wincing slightly when his stitches pulled, and his mind began to race with the knowledge that he was about to start a circus he hadn’t been willing to just a few months ago.

But now he had something besides himself to fight for.

Now he had a little brother.

And he would be damned if he didn’t fight for that.

Chapter Text

Walking into the 118, leaving Daniel Buckley sitting on that bench, had Tim feeling a more than a little tense.

He probably shouldn’t have snapped at the man or been so bluntly honest but after all the lies and drama he was just done with anyone named Buckley.

The man he loved was suffering because of all of this and Tim was done with it.

He climbed the stairs to the loft, finding Chimney and Hen trying to shove one another off one of the couches as they played Mario Kart and Eddie was over in the kitchen with Bobby, who looked to be trying to show the single father how to cook something. He couldn’t help but grin at the look of pure confusion on Eddie’s face.

“Hey, you,” Buck’s voice caught his attention and he turned, finding his boyfriend curled up in one of the chairs off from the kitchen, a book in hand. “I didn’t know you were stopping by.”

Tim’s grin turned into a smile as he crossed to Buck, leaning down to give the younger man a quick peck on the lips.

“Was in the neighbourhood and figured I’d stop in. Left my Boot to mind the shop.”

Buck snorted.

“You mean you actually trusted her to mind your oh so precious shop?”

“She’s capable. More or less.”

Buck shook his head, smiling softly as Tim sat on the edge of the coffee table in front of him.

“So, who called you? Dad or Eddie?”

“I couldn’t have just wanted to drop in and see you?”

“You usually give me a heads up so I can let you know if we’re on a call or not.” Buck closed his book. “So, spill, who called you?”

“A good cop does not reveal his undercover sources unless absolutely necessary.”

“Eddie then.”

“I did not say…”

“If it was Dad you’d have thrown him under the bus already. You and Eddie have that former army guys thing that made you suddenly thick as thieves when you met.”

Tim snorted but couldn’t help but grin.

“Doesn’t matter who called me,” he said, reaching out to take Buck’s hand. “What matters is I’m here now.”

Buck sighed softly.

“I’m fine, really. Today just…started out a little crazy is all.”

Tim didn’t say anything, merely rubbed his thumb over the back of Buck’s hand, waiting, and Buck sighed again.

“Maddie wants to meet in the morning,” he finally said and Tim nodded, already knowing that, thanks to Eddie’s text, but letting Buck get it out in his own time and way. “Says she wants to talk. To be completely honest for once.” He chewed his lip for a moment. “I’m not sure if I want to hear her out or not.”

“Why not?”

“Because what if it’s just more of the same? What if she’s saying she’ll be honest and she just…isn’t? I don’t know if I can handle too much more of it.”

Tim gave Buck’s hand a squeeze.

“You know you don’t have to meet her, right? That you have every right to say no and to just walk away. I know you want answers but…there are other ways now to find those answers.”

Buck blinked and looked confused for a moment before his eyes widened.

“Tim, did you…”

“Run a background check the day you found out about Daniel? Yeah, yeah I did and I will not apologize for it. Because she had all the power, all the information, and was giving you only what she thought you deserved to know.

I never brought it up because you were so set on finding answers on your own. No matter what that meant. If that has changed I will gladly give you everything I found but if not then it can just stay in the safe collecting dust.”

Buck chewed his lip and when he finally opened his mouth to speak the station’s alarm went off, sending everyone scrambling for the rigs.

“Go,” Tim said when Buck hesitated. “We’ll talk about this more later, okay?”

Buck gave a nod before pressing a kiss to Tim’s lips before standing.

“I love you,” Buck said with a smile and Tim smiled back.

“I love you too. Stay safe out there.”

Buck nodded and then was gone with his team.

When Tim left the station he glanced towards the bench, finding Daniel had left, and he was thankful that the man had had the good sense to listen to him and give Buck some time and space.

“Tim!”

His head snapped around and his gaze narrowed slightly as his Boot came dashing across the lot.

“Sorry,” she said, realizing her mistake. “Officer Bradford. Sir. We just got a call.”

“What is it?”

“10-80.”

Tim’s heart skipped.

10-80.

An explosion.

“Move it, Boot.”

They both ran back to the shop, Tim radioing in to dispatch to show them on route, asking dispatch to confirm the address for him and his heart thumped as he realized the 118 had likely been dispatched to the same call.

Arriving at the scene, Tim noted several squad cars and the truck and ambulance belonging to the 118. He was out of the car, his Boot following close behind, and he was not surprised to see Athena Grant among the officers.

“Sergeant Grant,” he greeted her, noting the firefighters tending to a man who looked to be in shock. “What do we got?”

“Hey, Bradford,” Athena looked grim. “Mail bomb. Wife is victim, thankfully she’s still in one piece but the house hasn’t been swept yet. Bomb squad’s still a couple minutes out. Medics are on scene and tending to the victim.”

“We got any information on the victim?”

“Miranda Filson, defence attorney. Her husband called it in. Apparently today is their twenty-fifth anniversary.”

“Hell of a way to spend their silver anniversary.”

“Yeah.” Athena shook her head, turning to watch as the 118 team got the victim onto a gurney and were heading for the ambulance, the husband close behind. “Definitely not how I hope to spend my twenty-fifth.”

Tim nodded and then turned to his Boot.

“Officer Chen, what is significant about this call?”

“Unknown package left on a porch,” she replied quickly. “Explosive device inside. Either random or targeted. Sergeant Grant said the victim was a defence attorney so, in all likelihood this was a targeted attack. Someone wanted to make certain she was the one to get the bomb.”

Tim likened his Boot, Lucy Chen, often to an overeager puppy but, in moments like these, he knew she was going to make an excellent officer with the right amount of time and training.

“And what, Chen, makes this call still actively dangerous?”

Lucy drew a deep breath, glancing towards the house and then back to Tim.

“We don’t know if the first device was the only one on or in the property. And…”

She blinked and Tim gave her a sharp look.

“And? And what, Boot?”

“We don’t know if she’s going to be the only target. This may be a one off but…it may not.”

Tim nodded and Athena cursed under her breath at the thought of a serial bomber but her attention was quickly pulled away with the arrival of the bomb squad. Tim pulled Lucy away so Athena could do her job as incident commander and went to help the other officers maintain the scene while bomb squad got ready to search the house for any other potential devices.

He watched as the 118 ambulance pulled away, whisking the victim and her husband away to the hospital, and had a sinking feeling that this was not the end of this.

The mail bomb had left everyone from the 118 shaken and, upon returning to the station, they all took refuge up in the loft.

Chimney and Hen dropped onto the nearest couch, neither really talking but just soaking up the comfort of the others presence. Eddie was off by the loft railing, calling Christopher, no doubt needing to hear his son’s voice. And Bobby returned to the kitchen to finish up the soup he had been trying to teach Eddie to cook, thinking to try and cheer the sombre mood with some good food, not surprised when Buck soon joined him.

“You okay, kid,” Bobby asked as Buck, food thief that he was, quickly grabbed a piece of celery and began nibbling at it rather than wolfing it down.

“Yeah.” Buck gave a nod. “Yeah, I…I’m good just…hell of a call.”

Bobby nodded.

It was hardly his first bomb call, and it would, sadly, be far from the last, but Buck was still new enough to being a firefighter that certain things rattled him in a way it didn’t the others, save perhaps Eddie.

“Lady was lucky,” Bobby replied and Buck grunted.

“I saw Athena and Tim at the scene and it…it sort of put some stuff in perspective, you know? Like…we deal with bad stuff all the time but they’re cops. Most of the time they get to a scene long before we do and they’re usually in harms way in ways we aren’t. I just…I…”

“Had a bit of a wakeup call?” Bobby looked at his son. “It’s one thing knowing the person you love most is a cop, it’s another to see it up close and realize the danger they willingly place themselves in.” He smiled softly. “But I can guarantee they feel the exact same way about us running into burning or collapsing buildings. It’s the price of the job, Evan.”

“Yeah.” Buck sat on one of the stools, still nibbling on his stolen celery. “Still sucks though.”

Bobby nodded.

“Yeah, yeah it does.” He picked up his knife. “Now quit eating my ingredients and either help me or go bug Eddie or something.”

Buck snickered, finally grinning a little, some of the weight lifting from his shoulders, and continued to nibble on his celery while watching Bobby finish the soup.

Eventually the others all wandered over, Chimney and Hen were discussing some new triage technique Hen had read about, while Eddie brought his phone over so Christopher could say hi to his Bucky which resulted in Buck pretty much stealing Eddie’s phone to spend the next twenty minutes talking to Christopher about the boy’s science project and the upcoming book fair.

Later, as they were all sitting around, resting and relaxing, Buck was channelling surfing when a breaking news bulletin came across the television.

“Fear grips Los Angeles tonight as a second package bomb explodes in as many days. Authorities are urging the public to be on high alert tonight. The suspicious package was left on the doorstep of a home in Westwood sometime in the afternoon. The package exploded when the homeowner attempted to open it. That man, whose name is being withheld, fights for life at this very hour.”

Everyone sat there, stunned, before they were jolted out of their shock by Bobby’s cell phone going off.

He answered the call with a quick, “Captain Nash.”

He frowned and looked beyond serious.

“Of course, Chief Alonzo. I understand. I’ll let my people know. Yes, sir. Same to you, sir.”

Bobby ended the call and let out a long sigh before looking at everyone.

“Alright, that was the Chief. As of right now all LAFD crews are considered on immediate readiness and are to remain in their stations or at the ready to be called in. It will stay that way until the bomber is apprehended or until the higher ups deem the threat over.”

Bobby sighed.

“So call whoever you need to, make whatever arrangements need to be made, because until this son of a bitch is caught or disappears back into the ether it’s all hands on deck.”

Bobby turned and headed off downstairs to inform the rest of the crew while Buck, Eddie, Hen and Chimney all exchanged worried looks.

Chapter Text

The next twenty-four hours in Los Angeles was beyond tense.

People were on edge, 9-1-1 calls were coming in higher numbers, and the 118 felt a little run ragged but, at least, there hadn’t been another package bomb.

Not yet at least.

The 118 had gone on near back-to-back calls and they had just gotten back to the station from what everyone considered a nuisance call, Bobby was telling the team to get some rest while they could when his cell phone rang.

He frowned when he saw the caller id and answered it quickly.

“Michael?”

He pretended not to see how everyone turned to look at him.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” he said, fear starting to crawl up his spine. “Slow down. What happened?”

His eyed went wide and he went pale, his gaze darting momentarily to Buck.

“Alright. Alright, I’ll be there are quickly as I can. Did you already call…okay, okay, that’s good. That’s good. Just…get the kids in your car and wait for the police. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Dad…”

“I have to go,” Bobby said, sending a quick text to the Chief to apprise him of the situation. “Someone sent a package to the house and Harry…God…Harry nearly picked it up. Michael’s freaked out.”

He looked at Chimney.

“Chim, you are in charge, temporarily, until I can get back.”

He then looked at Buck, who looked almost as terrified as Bobby felt.

“It’s okay,” he said, grabbing Buck by the arm, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “It’s okay, Evan. Everyone is fine. Nothing happened. I’ll get the kids to call you, okay?”

Buck nodded.

“Go,” was all he said before Bobby was running out of the station and towards his truck.

Hen touched Buck’s arm lightly, drawing his attention.

“Come on, Buckaroo,” she said with a soft smile. “He’ll call when there’s news.”

“He said everyone was okay,” Chimney pointed out. “And I pity whatever fool decided to mess with Athena and her kids.”

Everyone nodded in agreement before moving to carrying on with restocking the truck and ambulance and getting ready for the next inevitable callout.

Bobby broke probably a dozen traffic laws in order to get home as quickly as possible.

Pulling up the drive he was shocked by just how many police vehicles and nondescript black SUVs were already there.

He wasn’t surprised when he was stopped at the door, thankfully Athena quickly vouched for him and he was racing inside, pulling Athena into a quick hug.

“Michael called me,” he explained. “Did he take them to his place?”

“Yeah,” Athena confirmed. “God, Bobby, when I got that call…”

Bobby hugged her again.

“I know,” he said, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I know. I felt the exact same way when Michael called. But Harry’s okay. They’re all okay. We just have to hang on to that.”

Athena nodded before stepping back slightly.

“I keep running it in my head. I was at the first bombing but I didn’t recognize the woman. Not her name. Not her face. They say she’s a defence lawyer so we may have crossed paths but I just…I…”

“It’s okay,” Bobby was quick to reassure. “You’ve been doing this job a while and you can’t be expected to remember every case or lawyer.”

“They also showed me a picture of the insurance adjustor and he didn’t look familiar either. The only one I am sure of is Judge Clemmons.”

Bobby frowned slightly.

“Why does that name sound familiar?”

“Sergeant Grant,” a man in an ATF jacket spoke as he stepped back in from the patio. “Do you remember working an arson case about three years back? It was a restaurant?”

“Guillermo’s,” Bobby said, the name coming to mind immediately and Athena let out a surprised little sound.

“Agent Boyd,” she said quickly. “This is Captain Bobby Nash of the LAFD. We worked on that case together.”

“It’s the only time I’ve had to testify since I moved to LA,” Bobby explained. “The owner was Victor Costas. He got…six years? He should still be in prison.”

Boyd’s expression was grim.

“He was released early,” the agent said. “On account of he’s dead. About three months ago. Cancer.”

Bobby and Athena were both surprised.

“He had a wife and a kid…a teenager…a son.” Bobby nodded as he spoke. “A son who was really angry when his father got arrested.”

“Father’s dead,” Athena said before looking at Bobby. “I wonder how angry he is now.”

“Let’s find out,” Boyd said, turning away to make a call to have the Costas family picked up.

It took hours for the LAPD and ATF to locate Ellie Costas, the wife of the late Victor Costas, and hours longer for the detective, Rick Romero, to crack enough to show her anger about how her family had lost everything after her husband’s arrest and sentencing. But she continued to claim that she had no idea where her son, Freddie, was.

Bobby and Athena were standing in the interrogation room, watching Romero try and talk Ellie into helping them find her son, when Agent Boyd stepped in.

“Captain Nash, bomb squad searched your apartment. They didn’t find anything.”

“That’s a relief,” Bobby replied, still feeling unsettled, something in the back of his mind nagging at him but he just couldn’t figure out what.

“It doesn’t make sense though,” Athena said, shaking her head as she looked at Bobby. “I was there the day his father was arrested. He said you were the one who blew up their lives. And he’s been smart enough to find all our home addresses. He probably studied everyone to learn their habits.”

“So?” Boyd asked.

“Bobby’s hardly ever at the apartment any more,” Athena pointed out. “He pretty much moved in with me and my kids a while ago.” She looked at Bobby. “You only kept the place to avoid breaking the lease.”

“Well maybe he’s saving Captain Nash for last,” Boyd suggested. “Hasn’t sent a bomb yet.”

Bobby frowned.

That didn’t sound right.

Freddie Costas had been meticulous so far in his plan.

It didn’t sound right that he would slip up this way or that…

Bobby’s heart suddenly leapt into his throat.

“Or maybe you searched the wrong house,” he breathed and was hurriedly fishing his cell phone from his pocket.

“Bobby,” Athena questioned him, even Boyd asked what was he was thinking, but Bobby’s focus was on hitting the call button on one of the first contacts in his phone.

It rang and rang while Bobby kept muttering come on, kid, pick up before it finally went to voicemail.

“Hey, you’ve reached Evan Nash. Leave a message or text me. Later!”

“Damn it,” Bobby snapped, looking up at Athena and Boyd with a frightened, near frantic expression. “It’s the station. Freddie didn’t target me at my apartment or at the house because I spend so much time at the 118! My people are in danger!”

It was like controlled chaos as they all rushed to try and get in touch with someone, anyone, at the 118.

The alarm at the 118 rang for what had to be the hundredth time of the day and everyone ran for the rigs and, despite the grumblings from some of the crew, Buck happily climbed into the front seat of the ladder truck, the captain’s seat, while Chimney took point in the fire engine.

They had just started to take a turn when dispatch came across the radio saying something about Bobby being on the line and it being urgent.

Buck frowned and started to reach for his pocket, for his phone, to check if he’d missed a call or a text from his Dad when the world exploded around him.

The next thing he was aware of he was on the ground, body twisted over, and he couldn’t move his left leg.

Something was on top of him. On top of his leg.

But he couldn’t feel it like he thought he should have.

What was it?

What had happened?

Buck tried to blink, tried to clear his field of vision which was fuzzy at the edges and it hurt to lift his head too much.

And then…was that…yes, footsteps! Someone was coming to get him.

He did not recognize the young man staring down at him but even in his haze he knew what a bomb vest looked like.

Through the haze of what could only be shock, Buck felt terror roll through him.

The young man studied him for a moment, looking a mix of surprised and confused.

“You’re new,” the young man said and Buck let out a weak sound before slowly looking around.

He could see two of his team mates on the pavement a distance from him but he couldn’t tell who it was and they weren’t moving.

“Where,” the young man suddenly was shouting and were those…yes, flashing lights, the police were there. “Is the captain?!”

And that sent another jolt of fear cutting through the haze.

This maniac was looking for his dad. Wanted to kill his dad.

Down the street, behind the police barricade, Bobby and Athena arrived on scene with Agent Boyd. Rushing to the barricades behind the agent, Bobby felt as if his heart was going to crawl right out of his chest. That feeling intensified when he saw it was Buck, it was his son pinned beneath the truck with a madman pacing back and forth nearby with a live bomb strapped to his chest.

He heard someone nearby order Chimney to hold position and knew, the moment he saw one of the men on the pavement move, that there was no way in hell Chimney was going to leave a man to suffer in the street.

And then he heard Freddie all but scream, “Where is Captain Nash?!”

Bobby was moving before he could think, whispering a quick I love you to Athena, who looked at him confused and then scared as she realized what he was doing.

He was through the barricade before anyone could stop him and he made his way down the street towards the scene.

“Freddie!”

Freddie turned, surprised, and Bobby prayed he could get the kid to move closer to him, away from his team, from his son, so only he would be in any further danger.

“I thought you’d be on the truck,” Freddie said, eyes wild and Bobby, hands up to show he wasn’t armed, gave a slight nod.

“I’m here now.”

Freddie watched him and Bobby took a few steps forward, watching as Freddie did the same.

“What’s next,” Bobby asked. “This is what you wanted, isn’t it?”

“I wanted you dead.”

“I get that,” Bobby replied with a nod. “But what about them?”

Bobby gestured towards his men on the ground, injured and some unconscious, having been thrown from the truck in the blast, and then he pointed to Buck, who was looking up at him with wide, pain filled eyes, the shock still not having worn off yet. And he had to fight his every instinct not to run to his son, instead he focused solely on Freddie.

“What about him? He’s got parents and a sister and a brother and a partner. He never did anything to you. He wasn’t even a firefighter when your father burned down that restaurant.”

Freddie glanced at Buck and then back to Bobby.

“Collateral damage,” he sneered and Bobby wanted to punch the little bastard in the face but he kept tight control over his anger.

Buck didn’t need him angry right now.

Buck needed him to play this right.

“Is that how you see yourself?” Bobby edged a little further around the street, slowly turning Freddie until he was standing between the deranged young man and his team. “An unintended victim in all this?”

“Stop.” Freddie snapped, holding up the dead man’s switch in clear view. “Take one more step and we all go boom.”

Bobby slowly lowered his hands.

“Freddie, you got dealt a bad hand and I am sorry about that. But what you did with it? That’s a choice.” He watched emotions dance across Freddie’s face as the young man’s arm slowly started to drop. “You stopped being a victim the moment you left that first bomb.”

“That lawyer,” Freddie spat, venom dripping from every word. “She…”

“Did her job,” Bobby cut in, not willing to let Freddie act the victim anymore. Not when he’d already killed someone. Not when he’d endangered his family and hurt his son. “We were all doing our jobs.”

“Destroying my family? My mom and I lost everything. She was in so much pain.”

Bobby saw movement behind Freddie and gave a quick glance. Seeing Athena and a who he assumed was a detective walking Ellie Costas down the street, stopping a safe distance away.

“You want to make it worse? You want to make her watch you die?”

Bobby nodded toward the trio and Freddie slowly looked over his shoulder.

Ellie Costas looked stricken at the sight before her and Freddie murmured the word mom, the moment between mother and son giving Bobby an opening and he lunged, locking his arms around Freddie, hand clamping down over the young man’s around the dead man’s switch. They struggled, Freddie trying to break free, but Bobby refused to relent. He would not lose anyone because of this tormented young man.

The arrival of the S.W.A.T. team was, Bobby thought, a godsend and he was never so thankful to hand over a suspect.

The moment the authorities were dragging Freddie away from the scene, Bobby spun and rushed to the truck, to Buck.

“Hey, hey, buddy,” Bobby murmured as he knelt, taking Buck’s hand, hearing the rest of the team rushing to them. “It’s okay. I got you. I got you.”

“Dad…” Buck clutched at Bobby’s hand, trying to look up at him, blood dripping from a cut on his head.

“I’m right here,” Bobby said as Eddie, Hen and Chimney worked to treat him, barely hearing the medics making their assessments and treating Buck’s injuries as best they could, his focus was only on his son. “I’m right here, Evan. I’m not going anywhere. I’m here. I’m here.”

The next thing Bobby was clearly aware of was Chimney wondering how they were going to get the truck off Buck.

Almost immediately the other firefighter teams, as well as a few police officers, including Athena, on scene were rushing forward, trying to lift the truck enough to slide Buck out but though it creaked and groaned, shifting slightly, it didn’t budge. And all the while Buck screamed in utter agony.

“We got to lift higher,” Hen, who had remained with Buck and Bobby to monitor Buck’s vitals, shouted, tears in her eyes, hand curled around Buck’s forearm.

They tried again, Buck’s screams breaking Bobby’s heart, but still they weren’t able to get it high enough to free Buck.

And then the unimaginable happened.

People, who had gathered in the streets behind the police barricades, who had watched everything unfold, were running forward to help. Dozens of them. Complete strangers, who had no idea what was really happening or why it had happened, ran forward to help lift a ladder truck off a fallen firefighter.

The moment there was enough clearance, Bobby was pulling Buck free.

The team got Buck on a backboard, on a gurney, and were running him towards the nearest ambulance.

“Don’t worry, Buckaroo,” Chimney said.

“It’s gonna be okay, Buck,” Hen comforted.

“We got you, buddy,” Eddie reassured.

“We’re right here, baby,” Athena cooed as she ran next to Bobby, who was still clutching Buck’s hand.

“And we’re not going anywhere, Evan,” Bobby confirmed as they loaded Buck into the ambulance, climbing up in as Athena said she’d meet them at the hospital.

Everything after that was something of a blur until Bobby found himself standing in the hospital waiting room watching as the medical team wheeled his son away.

Chapter Text

Bobby had no idea how long he stood there but he was pull from the daze by Hen.

“Bobby,” Hen’s voice was soft, quivering, and her hand on his arm was light, barely there, as she guided him to a chair. “It’s going to be okay, Bobby. He’s going to be okay.”

“I’ll call Tim,” Eddie said from somewhere to Bobby’s left and Chimney, off to the right, was already calling the Chief to update him.

Bobby couldn’t say how long it was or what all happened but it felt like he blinked and Tim was running into the waiting room, looking terrified, and Bobby, who hadn’t moved in who knew how long, was on his feet, moving to meet Tim.

Bobby yanked the younger man into a tight hug, not surprised that Tim all but clung to him, shaking like a leaf, and Bobby murmured that it was okay, that Buck was going to be okay, until Tim let out a sob, his tears soaking into Bobby’s shirt.

“It’s okay,” Bobby spoke the words against Tim’s hair, hugging him tightly. “It’s okay. He’s alive, Tim. You hear me? He’s alive. It’s going to be okay.”

Tim nodded and a quiet, bitten back sob shook his body, and when he pulled away his eyes were red and wet with tears. He looked like someone had ripped away his entire world.

“Eddie called and I…oh god I’ve never felt like this before and I…I…”

Bobby quickly guided Tim to a chair, seating himself beside the young man, arm wrapped around Tim’s shoulders to hold him as close as possible.

“It’s okay,” he said again, softly, gently rocking side to side to try and comfort Tim. “It’s okay. He’s…He’s going to be okay.”

“You don’t know…”

“He’s going to be okay, Tim,” Bobby cut in, refusing to let Tim voice anything else, refusing to even think it himself. “He was conscious when we brought him in. We got him here quickly. He’s in good hands. He’s going to be okay.”

Tim nodded but his expression said he still doubted and, honestly, Bobby couldn’t blame him.

Not after seeing his son pinned beneath that truck.

Not after hearing Buck scream when they’d freed him.

Bobby squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, suddenly remembering that day he’d taught Buck how to ride a bike without training wheels, remembering how Marcy had smiled as she fussed over Buck’s scrapes and bruises while telling him how brave he was.

“My brave little man.”

It was what she called him when he needed to be reminded that he was okay, that he was safe, and that she was there for him.

What would she say if she could see the danger he’d been in today?

All because of a case Bobby had forgotten about until it came roaring back with a vengeance.

Bobby opened his eyes and had to fight back the wave of guilt that washed over him as he reminded himself that he was not to blame for what had happened to Buck. No matter that it felt otherwise. He was not responsible for what had happened to his son. An angry teenager with a grudge and no where else to put it was to at fault. He hadn’t been wrong when he told Freddie the young man had stopped being a victim the moment he built and sent that first bomb.

He was pulled from his thoughts when Athena appeared in front of him.

“Any news,” she asked softly, looking from Bobby to Tim and back again, eyes full of the tears she was fighting to hold back.

“Not yet,” Bobby replied, feeling Tim tense momentarily beneath his arm. “He was conscious though when we got here so…so that’s a good sign.”

Athena nodded and looked at Tim.

“You okay, honey? Do you need anything?”

Tim’s red rimmed eyes and trembling lip broke Athena’s heart.

“I need Evan to be okay,” Tim rasped, fresh tears falling down his face, before he looked away, fighting to control his own emotions.

Bobby squeezed the younger man’s shoulder and opened his mouth to speak but before he could a group of LAPD officers were entering the waiting room.

He recognized Angela Lopez, Tim’s best friend, but not any of the others.

Tim looked surprised to see them all.

“What are you all doing here,” he croaked, clearing his throat loudly as Angela rushed to sit in the empty chair to Tim’s left, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him tightly.

“We’re here for you.” Angela tucked Tim’s head to her shoulder while resting her cheek to his hair. “For you and Buck.”

“Anything you need, sir,” the young female officer whose nametag read Chen said gently, tone kind and supportive. “You just say the word.”

Tim gave a shaky nod.

“Thanks, Boot.”

The waiting room was then officially a sea of LAFD and LAPD as everyone took seats to wait for news.

Bobby had just started to doze, somewhere in an exhausted state, mentally and physically, when a voice startled him back into the present.

“Family of Evan Nash?”

Bobby and Tim were on their feet in near perfect unison.

“I’m his father,” Bobby said, stepping towards the doctor as Athena stood to follow him.

“Mr Nash, I’m Doctor Doge, I’m an orthopaedic surgeon.”

“Okay.” Bobby nodded. “Okay, so…so is he okay?”

“That’s what I wanted to speak with you about, Mr Nash.” Doge sighed. “Evan suffered some severe damage to his low left leg and there are a few options we could consider for treatment but I think the best decision is to place rods and pins to stabilize the bones in order for them to properly heal.”

“If you think that’s the right thing to do…”

“Mr Nash,” Doge cut in quickly but politely. “I’m sorry, I know I’m making the procedure sound simple and straightforward and in some ways it is but the damage, as I said, is severe.

There is a chance, even with the rods and pins, that the bones may not properly heal. If that happens, he may require multiple surgeries over a span of time and even then I wouldn’t be able to guarantee what his recovery might be.”

Bobby felt his heart stutter and he felt Athena’s hand slip into his even as Tim let out a broken sound.

“What…” Tim cleared his throat forcefully. “What’s worse case scenario? If you can’t fix his leg what…what happens then?”

Doge gave Tim a sympathetic look.

“Right now worst case scenario is far, far off and…”

“No. No, that’s not what I asked you,” Tim snapped, Angela suddenly at his side, squeezing his arm to try and calm him. “What happens if you can’t fix his leg? What happens if he needs multiple surgeries and it still doesn’t work? What then?”

Doge sighed and his expression, though still sympathetic, turned serious.

“In that scenario the best course of action would be amputation.”

Bobby was floored and judging by the sound that escaped Tim’s chest he was much the same.

“I’m so sorry to dump all of this on you now, Mr Nash,” Doge said. “But I wanted to keep you informed. I also need your consent to perform the surgery and what measures you want taken on your son’s behalf if things should be worse than the x-rays show.”

Bobby let out a disgusted sound and shook his head, eyes prickling with fresh tears.

“You want me to tell you if you can cut my son’s leg off,” Bobby rasped, shaking his head again, unable to believe that this was happening. “You…You want me to tell you…”

“Mr Nash…”

“My son is a firefighter,” Bobby snapped, unable to keep the anger from his voice. “My son is outgoing and active and you are standing here telling me there is a chance you may have to take his fucking leg and that I have to be the one to give you permission to fucking do it.”

“Mr Nash…”

“Give me the damn forms.”

Bobby’s tone and the sharp glare he gave had Doge quickly extending the clipboard with the paperwork.

He signed everything and all but shoved the clipboard back into Doge’s hand.

“You do everything, every damn thing possible, to save my son’s leg.” Bobby inhaled deeply. “But if it’s…if there’s nothing you or any other surgeon can do to fix it or save it or whatever fucking term you want to use then…you do what you to have to do. I’ll be the one to have to deal with the fallout after all, not you.”

Doge nodded, experienced enough to know Bobby did not want his platitudes or comforts.

“The surgery will take a few hours,” the doctor said instead. “I’ll have someone keep you updated.”

“Thank you,” Bobby muttered, turning away, uncaring to watch as Doge left.

He stood there for a moment before his gaze snapped to the sign on the wall indicating where things in the hospital were located and, without a word to anyone, not even Athena, he left the waiting room.

The chapel, when he reached it, was empty and quiet.

He walked up the aisle to the stand of candles and, on instinct, lit one.

He made the sign of the cross and looked up at the cross hanging on the wall.

“Please,” he said softly, tears finally rolling down his cheeks. “Please, don’t…don’t take him. Please. You already took Marcy and my baby boy so please…I’m…I’m…”

Bobby’s legs trembled and the next thing he knew he was on his knees, head bowed, sobs wracking his body.

He knew the fear of losing Buck at this point was somewhat irrational, the doctor had assured them it was only Buck’s leg they were really worried about at this point but he knew people went into surgery every day and never came out. Complications happened. Terrible, awful things happened during surgeries every day, even the simplest of surgeries. And Buck’s surgery was far from simple. The doctor may have claimed worst case scenario would be Buck having to lose his leg but Bobby knew what his worst case scenario was.

And he wasn’t sure he could handle it if the worst happened.

“I’m begging you,” he sobbed. “I am begging…please…God…please don’t…don’t take my son. Please. I know I’ve done a lot of things wrong and…and made a lot of mistakes but…please…please, don’t take him. He’s already paying for something I did so please, please God, have mercy. Have mercy.”

Bobby had no idea how long he knelt there but the soft sound of Athena’s voice calling his name caused him to look up and he was a bit surprised to see Michael with her.

“Oh, baby,” Athena murmured, moving to kneel, hugging Bobby, holding him. “I got you. I got you, baby.”

Michael crouched down next to them, rubbing his hand over Bobby’s back, tears rolling down his face.

“It’s going to be okay.”

Michael murmured the words into Bobby’s ear, hating to see a man he cared so much about, the man who had brought so much love and light and support to his family, the man who loved his kids like his own, who had let Michael and Athena love his child like their own, hurting so badly. It was all made worse by the knowledge that there was nothing he could do to help but simply be there for Bobby.

“It’s going to be okay, Bobby,” Michael said again. “Buck is strong. He’s so strong. Just like his dad.”

Bobby let out a low sound and shook his head but Michael hugged him tightly.

“No, you listen to me,” Michael said. “Buck is going to be fine. He’s a fighter. Always has been and who do you think he gets that from, huh? Because it sure as hell isn’t me. Okay, so he might get some of it from Athena.” That earned him a broken laugh from Bobby. “But Buck is your son, Bobby. He has all strength you passed on to him and more. He’s going to be okay.”

Bobby tried to nod but the fear, the doubt, clung to him like a stubborn burr.

Tim watched Bobby walk from the waiting room in something of a daze, barely noting when Angela guided him back to his chair, getting him to sit before she returned to the chair next to him.

“It’s going to be okay, Tim,” she said, wrapping her arm around him. “He’s going to be okay.”

Tim gave a shaky nod, trying to believe it, but he just kept thinking about what would happen if that surgeon couldn’t fix Buck’s leg.

He was started out of his dark and morose thoughts when someone suddenly took his hand.

Looking up, he found his rookie had settled into the seat previously occupied by Bobby, her small hands folded around his.

“Chen…”

“You can be my TO later,” Lucy replied softly, giving him a gentle look. “Right now…Right now you need us. So we’re going to be here for you.”

Tim blinked and the tears rolled down his face, fighting to control his emotions, and Lucy gave his hand a squeeze.

“It’s okay,” she said softly. “It’s okay, Tim.”

And just like that the flood gates opened and Tim broke down.

He sobbed and shook and cursed.

And through it all Angela and Lucy held him.

“I can’t…” Tim gasped, feeling like he couldn’t breathe. “I can’t…”

“You can,” Angela said firmly, rubbing her hand over his shoulder. “I know you are terrified right now and you think the worst is going to happen because how could you not.

But I know how strong Evan is. Not just physically but mentally and emotionally. He is one of the strongest people I have ever met and, even if they have to take his leg, he is strong enough to survive it. You are strong enough to help him survive it.”

“He’ll hate it.” Tim shook his head. “If they take his leg…if he can’t be a firefighter anymore…he’ll hate it and he’ll hate me for not telling Bobby not to let them…”

“We don’t know that he’s going to lose the leg,” Lucy cut in. “That is worst case scenario and we are not there yet. You hear me? We are not there yet.”

Tim shook his head again but Lucy, clearly, was not having it.

“Say it, Tim,” she sounded so firm, so confident, that it almost made him smile. “We are not there yet. Come on, say it with me. We are not there yet. Evan is going to be just fine.”

And he did.

He repeated it with her.

Like a mantra.

Clinging to it, to the hope that Lucy was right, like a lifeline because if he didn’t he felt like he couldn’t breathe.

He felt a hand grasp his shoulder and looked up to find Eddie had moved from where he was sitting to stand behind his chair, hand curled over his shoulder, head bowed and lips moving in silent prayer.

Tim immediately reached up and covered Eddie’s hand, which tightened just a fraction against his shoulder.

They all knew next several hours, the waiting, the not knowing, were going to be torture.

But at least they weren’t waiting alone.

Chapter Text

Buck woke from a dreamless sleep to the most annoying, yet steady, beeping sound.

His limbs felt heavy and it was like someone had stuffed his mouth full of cotton and sandpaper all at once.

He was groggy and when he slowly blinked his eyes open it felt as though they’d been glued shut.

It took a minute or two, maybe longer, for his vision to focus but when it did the first thing he saw was Tim.

Slumped over, head pillowed on his arm, clearly sleeping, while clutching Buck’s hand as though to make certain the younger man didn’t suddenly disappear or something.

Buck lay there, still in a bit of a daze, and couldn’t help but wonder where he was and what was going on. Everything was so hazy and it was like he’d been spun too long and too fast on a merry-go-round. What had happened? What had…

And then, like a light switch being flipped, everything came rushing back.

The explosion.

Being thrown from the truck.

The truck pinning him.

The numbness and then the excruciating agony as the truck was lifted off him.

The sound that passed his lips, the sound that had felt stuck in his chest since the memories came back, was like some sort of wounded animal.

Fear pulled him into the haze of memories and it was only the sudden feeling of arms wrapping around him and kisses being pressed to his cheek and temple while a familiar voice, a beloved voice, whispered to him.

“It’s okay, baby, it’s okay. You’re safe. You’re safe now. It’s okay. I’ve got you, baby. I’ve got you.”

The race of his heart, the rush of fear and panic, slowly, oh so slowly, everything returned to normal and he blinked, realizing that Tim had squeezed himself onto the edge of the bed and was holding him.

“That’s it,” Tim murmured against his ear, pressing a kiss to his temple. “Just breathe, okay? Just breathe. I’ve got you, Buck. I’m right here. I’m right here and I’ve got you.”

Buck leaned into Tim and focused on his breathing, squeezing Tim’s hand, which hadn’t, it seemed, let go of his.

“T…T…”

“I’m right here.”

Tim hugged him a little tighter.

“I’m right here, Buck.”

Buck nodded and turned his head, tucking his face into Tim’s shoulder until, finally, he felt okay again.

“What…” Buck’s throat felt so dry. “What…hap…hap…”

“There, uh, there was an explosion. The truck…”

“Know…that…” Buck cut in as quickly as he could. “My leg…what…what happened with my…my…leg?”

Tim kissed his forehead.

“They had to put a rod and some pins in to correct the damage. You’ll be off your feet for a while but if you do everything the doctors tell you, and I do mean everything, you’ll be up and walking and doing everything you could before.”

“What…about…”

“If you ask me about your job right now, Evan Nash, I swear…”

“You’d…ask…” Buck finally looked down at his leg, wrapped in a cast and supported by pillows and a sling. “If it was…you…so please…”

“I don’t know, baby,” Tim admitted softly, sounding like the words were being pulled from his chest. “I don’t…” He cleared his throat, drawing Buck’s gaze to his boyfriend’s face. “We’ll talk to the doctors, okay? Later, though, not right now. Right now I just…I just want to…”

Buck squeezed Tim’s hand and pressed a slow, almost messy, kiss to Tim’s chin, making him laugh weakly before dipping his head to kiss Buck’s lips, earning a sleepy hum of approval.

“Can you…keep…holding me?”

Tim’s arms tightened around him immediately.

“Yes.” Tim kissed Buck again, thanking God that he had the chance to. “I’ll keep holding you. Until you want me to stop.”

Buck huffed, the sound akin to a chuckle, and looked up at his boyfriend with a soft smile.

“Jokes on…you…because I…I never want you to…stop.”

Tim smiled and kissed Buck softly.

“I love you, Evan,” he said and Buck’s smile widened in response.

“Love you too.”

Bobby was in the cafeteria, getting cheap, lukewarm coffee with Athena, when the text came from Tim.

He’s awake.

Bobby did not think he’d run so fast since the day he’d gotten the news about Marcy’s car accident.

He reached Buck’s room just in time to hear his son’s quiet, tired laugh and his heart, which hadn’t felt like it had beat properly since seeing Buck pinned beneath that truck, finally lurched back to life.

Seeing his son sitting up, Tim right back his side, arm around him, gave Bobby a sense of relief he could never begin to put into words.

Seeing his son look at him, smiling, alive, had fresh tears filling Bobby’s eyes.

“Hey, Dad.”

Buck sounded tired but he was smiling, he was sitting up, he was alive.

He was alive.

Bobby hurried forward, reaching for his son, and that hug felt better than anything had in hours and he thanked God that he was able to feel his son’s arms around him.

“It’s okay, Dad,” he heard Buck saying. “I’m okay. I’m okay.”

Bobby let out a broken chuckle, the sound practically punched out of him, and he slowly drew back enough to look at Buck’s face.

“Gave me a scare, kid,” he said softly as Athena moved to stand by the bed, her hand reaching out to comb gently through Buck’s hair. “Gave us all a scare.”

“Didn’t mean to,” was Buck’s reply and Athena was quick to shush him.

“Wasn’t your fault, honey.” Athena pressed a kiss to Buck’s temple. “We’re just so happy that you’re okay.”

Buck smiled, that warm, happy smile that just seemed to make the world a little brighter, and Bobby finally felt like everything was going to be okay.

Maddie Buckley rushed into the emergency room trying not to look at panicked as she felt.

The moment she’d seen the news that morning she had tried to get in touch with Evan and then, when that had failed, she’d reached out to Daniel, who hadn’t responded to her texts or calls either.

She had debated, for a moment, calling back the number that Captain Nash had called from but she doubted, given his attitude towards her during their brief conversation, that he would be likely to give her any sort of information about Evan or his condition.

The news report had been so vague with details.

She knew Evan had been the one hurt and that he’d been rushed to this hospital, Daniel’s hospital by some stroke of luck, but it seemed no updates had been given by the LAFD and, right now, everything in the media was speculation and the age old thoughts and prayers.

Part of her, that small rational part that had screamed at her for years to leave Doug, was telling her, or rather trying to tell her, that this was wrong. She shouldn’t be here. She shouldn’t be doing this. But she kept rationalizing the decision. She was Evan’s sister. She had every right to be here. To want to know if he was okay.

The nurse at the desk was very helpful, recognizing Maddie from her recent trips to visit Daniel, and, though a little surprised at Maddie’s revelation that Evan Nash was her baby brother, the woman gave her Evan’s room and floor number.

She was just stepping onto the elevator when her phone dinged.

A text message from Daniel.

Do not come to the hospital. Not right now. His family is with him and he’s fine. Please, Maddie, just listen to me for once. Stay. Away.

Maddie huffed.

How could Daniel say all of that?

How could he possibly expect her to stay away after everything she’d done to find Evan in the first place?

Evan was her brother.

She had every right to see him. To make certain he was really alright because what if someone made a mistake? What if something happened to him and Daniel didn’t know? What would they do then?

Shoving her phone back into her purse, Maddie drew a deep breath and prepared herself to have to convince Evan that he needed her here. He needed his big sister. No matter what any of his so-called family thought or said.

Stepping off the elevator, she looked around, getting her bearings, and started down the hall in the direction of Evan’s room.

She had just caught sight of the number by the door when, suddenly, a hand grabbed her by the arm and yanked her to the side, spinning her at the same time.

Her heart skipped, an old, familiar fear coiling deep in gut before she realized that the person who’d grabbed her, who was no glaring down at her with a fierce scowl, was Daniel.

“What are…” she started but he quickly cut her off.

“No, Maddie, what are you doing here?”

“I…”

“I told you not to come.”

Daniel looked furious in a way she could not ever remember seeing him before. Not even when he’d learned the truth about Doug.

“I told you,” he said again, all but snarling the words. “Not to come down here. To leave him and his family alone. God, you were probably already here when I sent that message but instead of leaving like you should have you decided, in true Maddie fashion, that you know better than everyone else.”

“That’s not fair…”

“You do not get to talk to me about fair, Maddie. Not now. Not here.” Daniel tugged her arm, pulling her closer to the nearby nurses’ station. “I asked you to stay away and you didn’t listen.”

He drew a deep breath and shook his head.

“Have you even thought about what his family will say if you just go barging in there?”

“We are…”

“Do not,” Daniel snapped. “Say that we are his family, Maddie, because we are not.”

Maddie let out an angry little noise and practically stomped her foot.

“He is our brother and you’re standing there acting like…”

“Like I should. He may biologically be related to us, Maddie, but that does not give you or me the right to insert ourselves into his life.”

“He’s our…”

“Stop saying that,” Daniel snapped. “Because he’s not, Maddie, and you need to accept that. He’s not our brother. Not in anyway that truly matters.

Hell, Maddie, you said the only reason you finally told me everything was because his dad basically threatened you. What do you think that man will do when you walk into his son’s hospital room acting all high and mighty and like you have more right to be there than him?”

“I wouldn’t…”

“Oh cut the bullshit, Maddie.”

Maddie blinked.

“Daniel…”

“No, Maddie, just no. I don’t care what your reasons are, I really don’t, I am telling you to leave Evan and his family alone. He’s just gone through a trauma and he doesn’t need you trying to insert yourself into things.”

Maddie opened her mouth but suddenly a nurse was saying Daniel’s name, drawing his attention for a split second, and, in that split second, Maddie saw her opening.

She bolted, like a rabbit, causing Daniel to snarl her name in protest and outrage, down the hall and, before her brother could stop her, to Evan’s room.

Chapter Text

Buck wasn’t surprised when the team from the 118 all turned up to his hospital room shortly after Bobby and Athena.

Tim had, of course, texted everyone to update them, to let them know Buck had woken up and was doing okay, and they had all rushed to his room to be there for him.

Eddie had just said something about bring Christopher by when, in the doorway, the last person Buck had expected appeared.

“Maddie?”

Everyone, almost in perfect unison, turned to look at the woman standing in the doorway.

“Thank God, you’re okay,” Maddie said as she started to step into the room but, before she got too far, Hen was blocking the way.

“I’m sorry,” Hen said, tone a little sharp, and more than a little questioning. “But who are you?”

“I’m Maddie,” Maddie said like it should be obvious. “Evan’s sister.”

The tension that suddenly filled the room was thick enough it could have been cut with a butter knife.

“You’re Maddie,” Athena asked from where she was sitting at the foot of Buck’s bed, her dark eyes flashing with mixed emotions as she slowly stood.

“I am,” Maddie replied, either ignoring the tension or completely missing it altogether. “I saw the news and…”

“And thought you’d just insert yourself into a situation that doesn’t concern you?”

Athena sounded like the angry mother she was as she stepped around the foot of Buck’s bed to stand with Hen in preventing Maddie from coming any further into the room.

Maddie looked at Athena like the older woman had lost her mind or something.

“I just saw the news this morning,” Maddie said, trying to look around Athena and Hen at Buck. “I got here as quickly as I could.”

She started to take a step forward but neither Hen nor Athena moved.

Which earned them a confused, and irritated, look.

“Excuse me, but I need to be with my brother.”

“Your brother?” Hen looked her up and down. “Funny, I know his sister and she doesn’t look anything like you.”

“I am…”

“And another funny thing,” Hen continued, giving Maddie a look she often used on first day fresh-out-of-the-academy rookies at the firehouse. “I’ve known Evan for years and, honey, I don’t ever remember seeing even a picture of you.”

“Ditto,” Chimney said from the couch where he’d sprawled after giving Buck the customary relieved big brother hug.

Maddie, however, was not deterred.

Making Hen think the other woman was either exceedingly brave or completely stupid.

“Well, I don’t know what to tell you, but I am his sister and I have more right to be here than any of you.”

“Excuse me,” Athena snarled even as Hen’s face did a very good imitation of the a fish out of water.

“I’m his sister,” Maddie said again, as though it meant anything. “I’m his sister, and as his sister…”

“I’m his father.”

The deep, rolling, angry growl of a voice startled everyone in the room.

Never had anyone who knew him, who loved him, who had spent even the shortest amount of time with him, could have imagined that that voice, that dark, ominous voice, could have come from Bobby Nash.

He stood, slowly, from his chair and was looking over his wife’s shoulder at Maddie Buckley with such a fierce and enraged expression that even Athena, ice cold in the face of hardened criminals, couldn’t help the shiver that rolled down her spine.

This was a different Bobby Nash to the one she knew.

This wasn’t the worried or frightened father who’d sat vigil for his son, their son, in a hospital chapel.

This wasn’t the proud and loving father who had cheered for Buck during little league games or when he’d graduated the academy.

This was a Bobby Nash who she had only heard stories about.

The Bobby Nash left in the wake of the deaths of his wife and unborn son.

The Bobby Nash who had raged and hated the world and wanted to burn it all down and who, likely, would have joined Marcy and their son if not for the brilliant fountain of light and love that was Buck.

“You,” Bobby rumbled, looking like a thundercloud about to break over the horizon. “Have the nerve to walk in here, acting like you belong, like you matter, when I am the one who chose Evan. I am the one who brought him home and who loved him and raised him.

Were you the one standing in the road last night? Talking down a crazed teenage bomber? Were you the one who thought your heart was going to be ripped from your chest as he screamed while complete strangers helped to lift the fire truck off him?

Were you the one there for every birthday? Every scraped knee? Every loss and win? Were you the one who worried every day while he was off finding himself?

No. No, you weren’t. I was. Because I’m his father. Me.”

Bobby gave Maddie an almost disgusted look.

“You can leave, now, on your own or my wife can escort you out. The choice is yours.”

Maddie looked at Buck.

“Evan. Evan, I know we’ve got a lot to talk about and work out but I’m your sister. You need me.”

“I need you to leave,” Buck said simply, earning a surprised and disbelieving look from Maddie. “I told you I’d let you know when I was up to seeing and talking to you again and you just…took it upon yourself to ambush me here? When I’m hurt and hopped up on painkillers and all I want is to be with my family?”

“I am your fam…”

“Maddie Buckley!”

Daniel Buckley appeared in the doorway looking as angry as Bobby.

“Are you completely incapable of listening to the simplest instructions?!”

Daniel stepped into the room and caught hold of Maddie’s arm before she could try and escape again.

“I told you to leave him alone. That his family would not take you just barging in here like a bull in a china shop well and that you have absolutely no right, none what-so-ever, to even be here.”

Daniel looked up at everyone else.

“I am so sorry she just barged in.”

Maddie scoffed.

“Do not apologize for me. I have every right to…”

“To shut up and leave this room before you get yourself thrown out of the hospital by security or, worse, the police,” Daniel snapped at her before meeting Bobby’s gaze. “Again, I am so sorry she disturbed you. I’ll make certain it doesn’t happen again.”

Bobby gave a curt nod and, despite Maddie’s very vocal protests, Daniel pulled his sister from the room, not surprised when someone all but slammed the door behind them.

“You are such an idiot,” Daniel hissed as he led Maddie down the hall towards the elevators. “You have just made a bad situation so much worse and you don’t even feel that you did.”

“I didn’t do anything…”

“You barged into his hospital room, where he’s trying to heal, surrounded by his loved ones, and tried to insinuate you have more right to be there than any of them.

Do you seriously think he’s going to want anything else to do with you, with me, after all of this, Maddie?”

Maddie pouted, actually full on pouted, like a child and Daniel felt every part of him bristle in agitation.

“He’s our brother,” she said, sounding very much like a broken record, and Daniel was starting to get very tired of her and her nonsense.

“Biologically, yes.” Daniel hit the down button on the elevator. “But Maddie his family are the people who were in that room with him. The people who have been here all night and who have been in his life for years.”

“Daniel…”

“Tell me the truth, Maddie.” Daniel’s tone suddenly went calm and cold. “Did you start looking for him because he’s our little brother or because I’m sick again?”

Maddie stared at him, wide eyed, shocked, but she didn’t answer his question.

And that was answer enough.

“Leave, Maddie,” he said, letting go of her arm and stepping back from her as the elevator doors opened. “And don’t come back.”

“Daniel…”

“If you come back, Maddie, unless you have been invited by Evan, I will know and you won’t have to worry about his family having you removed, I will be the one to call security and have you banned from the hospital completely.”

“Daniel, you can’t…”

“Goodbye, Maddie.”

Either his tone or his expression was enough to convince Maddie to get on the elevator but Daniel didn’t believe, for a second, that this was the end of things.

Maddie was far too pigheaded for that.

But Daniel stood there, waiting until the elevator doors had shut before he turned to go back to work.

Athena shut the door behind the Buckley siblings while fighting the urge to go after them and make damn certain that Maddie Buckley got the message about staying away from her son.

Buck needed to rest and recover not have to deal with the nonsense of a woman who thought just because they shared some DNA that she was entitled to come and try to run things.

“That woman has got a lot of nerve,” Athena grumped as she turned, looking immediately at Buck. “Are you okay, baby?”

Buck gave a half-hearted shrug.

“I’m okay.”

“Buck,” Bobby started but Buck quickly continued speaking.

“I mean, I’m not exactly thrilled that all just happened, but I…I’m okay otherwise.”

“I’m still going to mention it to security,” Athena said. “Last thing you need is her butting in like that again.”

Tim hummed in approval.

“Maybe I can get Chen to stand guard at the door.”

Buck swatted at Tim’s arm.

“You are not stationing a cop at my door. It’s not like Maddie’s a crazy lunatic.”

“We don’t actually know that,” Chimney piped up, earning a look from Buck for his trouble but a nod of agreement from Eddie. “I mean, what exactly do you know about her besides the bare minimum? For all we know she could be wanted for murder or something.”

“Calm down, Most Wanted,” Hen said, shaking her head at her best friend’s antics, before looking at Buck. “But seriously, Buck, I think at this point it wouldn’t hurt to maybe have ‘Thena look into her or something.”

“I don’t know,” Buck said softly, looking at Tim for some hint at what to do and the look in his boyfriend’s eyes said it all.

He sighed but wasn’t exactly surprised.

“You already investigated her, didn’t you?”

Everyone looked at Tim then.

He did not, for a single moment, look guilty.

“After you first told me about Daniel,” Tim confirmed.

“Is there anything we need to worry about,” Bobby asked and Tim shook his head.

“Nothing criminal per say,” was Tim’s simple reply.

“That doesn’t exactly sound good either,” Eddie said what the others were thinking and Tim sighed, looking only at Buck.

“I’ve got printouts of what I found,” Tim said, though it was clear he was only truly addressing Buck. “As well as some stuff a buddy who’s a private investigator dug up. I kept it in my locker at the station so you wouldn’t accidentally find it. I can have Lopez bring it so you can read it alone or I can give you a simplified rundown.”

“I wanted to be able to talk to her,” Buck said softly, fiddling absently with the strap of Tim’s watch. “To…To have her explain everything for once.”

“I know. But, babe, I don’t think honesty is in her wheelhouse.”

Buck looked Tim in the eye.

“Why? Why do you think that? What did you find out that makes you think that?”

Tim looked hesitant, like he wasn’t certain if he should truly say and, in the end, it was Bobby who spoke.

“I think we all need to know,” the fire captain said, his tone firm, fatherly really. “Because if she’s going to be a problem we all need to know who exactly we’re dealing with.” He looked at Buck. “I know it’s not how you were hoping to learn everything, kid, but right now it’s too important to not know.”

Buck drew a slow, deep breath before giving a nod.

“Tell me,” he said to Tim. “All of it. Please.”

Chapter Text

Buck sat, silent and alone, after asking everyone to leave and give him some space.

Everything Tim had told him had served to twist everything Maddie had ever told him.

And he just needed some time to process it all.

He was alone for all of twenty minutes when he flagged down a passing nurse and asked her if she could see if Doctor Daniel Buckley had a few minutes to come and speak to him.

He didn’t have to wait long before Daniel was tapping at the open door of his room.

“Hi,” Daniel sounded as uncertain as Buck felt and he lingered in the doorway rather than coming in. “Judy said you were asking for me?”

Buck gave a nod.

“Ye…Yeah, I…uh…”

He cleared his throat.

“Why don’t you come in? Maybe take a seat?”

Daniel hesitated but slowly entered the room, sitting in the chair that Bobby had occupied most of the morning.

Neither spoke for a few long, awkward moments.

When Daniel suddenly cleared his throat Buck twitched slightly.

“Sorry,” Daniel said gently, looking a bit sheepish. “I...uh…I want you to know that I’m really glad you’re okay.”

“Thanks.” Buck shifted slightly in the bed. “Look, I wanted to talk because…well…I wanted…no…I need to know what…what you know. About me.”

Daniel blinked.

“About you,” he repeated, a tiny frown on his face. “I don’t understand.”

“Did you know,” Buck said firmly. “About me. Before all of this. Did you know that our…that your…parents had another kid? One they didn’t keep?”

Daniel looked almost heartbroken then.

“No. No, I…until the other day I had no idea I had a brother.”

Buck nodded.

So it wasn’t just him who’d spent his life in the dark about all of this.

That was something at least.

“You don’t, I don’t know, remember your mom being pregnant or talk of a baby or…or anything?”

Daniel shuffled a little closer in his chair, looking so much like he wanted to reach out and take Buck’s hand but was holding back. Trying to respect Buck’s boundaries.

It was more than Maddie had done at least.

“Do you know when you were born?”

Buck blinked at the question then nodded.

“1992.”

Daniel sighed but gave a nod as though it confirmed something.

“In 1992 I spent a lot of time in a hospital in Philadelphia,” he explained. “I…umm…I wasn’t well for a large part of my childhood. So if Mom was pregnant I…I never knew or…or maybe I just never noticed.”

“You were that sick?”

“I had juvenile leukemia. Was diagnosed a couple years before that.”

When Buck did not seem or act surprised, Daniel frowned slightly and picked at his thumbnail.

“But you already knew I was sick.”

“My boyfriend did a background search on Maddie after I found out about you,” Buck said honestly. “And a private investigator looked further.”

Daniel blinked.

“I don’t understand,” he said softly. “Why ask me…You already know…”

“I know what records say. Not what you know or when you knew it.”

Buck shifted the way he was sitting, trying to face Daniel as best he could given his leg was in a cast and propped up on pillows.

“I found Maddie,” he explained. “Through one of those DNA ancestry sites and when we started talking all I wanted was to know where I’d come from. Why I was given up. All she gave me was more lies and secrets. I’m tired of secrets and lies. I want the truth and I have it. I’m just wondering how much of it you have in return.”

Buck drew a deep breath and then sighed.

“So, you never knew about me, about your parents having me, because you were sick. Really sick. Doesn’t it seem strange, Daniel, that during all of that they chose to have another baby?”

Daniel frowned and Buck could almost see the gears working as the other man began trying to put the pieces together.

Buck decided to help a bit.

“Clearly your cancer went into remission. Did you miraculous get better?”

Daniel quickly shook his head.

“I had a bone marrow transplant. We waited such a long time for a donor. No one in the family was a match and my Mom had all but given up hope.”

“Do you know anything about the donor?”

Another head shake.

“When Maddie told me the other day about you, I asked her if she knew anything about my donor too, given that it all happened around the same time. She said no.”

Which could have been the truth or just another lie.

“So, you were seriously ill, there was little chance of finding a donor, so your parents decided to have a baby and then, miraculously, a donor was found.”

Daniel looked confused for a moment.

And then Buck saw the exactly moment clarity struck the man.

But also there was doubt. Denial.

“No.” Daniel shook his head. “No, they…they didn’t. They wouldn’t.”

“Wouldn’t they? To save their dying son?”

Daniel still looked uncertain and Buck sighed.

“I was born a genetic match to you,” he said because clearly Daniel was not ready to believe it. “They couldn’t find a match so they made one instead. Me. And when I’d served my purpose and you were well again they didn’t need me anymore.”

“That’s not what Maddie said.”

“And what exactly did she say?”

“You were a surprise,” Daniel explained. “And after I started getting better, Mom and Dad decided it was best to give you up for adoption.”

“Adoption?” Buck scoffed. “Is that what she told you happened? I was adopted?”

Daniel blinked.

“But…you were adopted. I mean…Maddie said your captain is your dad.”

“Yeah,” Buck agreed but with a bitter bite to his words. “I was adopted. About a year after I bounced from foster home to foster home and even that was after I’d been abandoned in a fucking bus station with nothing but a backpack and a note.”

Daniel surged to his feet.

“That’s not true! My parents would never…”

“I can have my father bring you all the court and legal documents if you’d like.” Buck stared up at Daniel. “Everything from the police report to the CPS reports and the adoption records. Your saintly fucking parents made me to save you and when I’d done the job they couldn’t even be bothered to get rid of me properly!”

“Maddie said…”

“Maybe she’s been lied to her entire life too,” Buck snapped. “Or maybe she knew all along and went along with it all to protect her perfect little family. I really couldn’t care either way. I know that your parents threw me away like garbage and I know ever since I connected with your sister it’s been nothing but lie after lie and I have absolutely no idea why she ever reached out to me in the first place.”

Suddenly Daniel looked as though he understood something.

“I’m sick,” he said softly, sounding as though he’d had to force the words out. “That’s…That’s why she started looking for you.”

Buck stared at Daniel and Daniel stared back.

“Sick…”

Buck swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat.

“It’s the cancer again, isn’t it?”

Daniel gave a nod.

“I found out a few months ago.”

Buck looked away from him then, feeling conflicted and hurt and, beneath it all, angry.

Maddie had only started looking for him because Daniel was sick again.

Because, just like her parents all those years ago, she needed something to save her brother and only Buck could give it.

“I wasn’t going to fight,” Daniel continued, seemingly unaware of the emotional whirlwind he had just unleashed upon the younger man. “I told her, and our parents, that I didn’t want to go through all of that again. I couldn’t.”

He gave a half smile.

“But then I found out about you and I…I didn’t want to give up on my life when I’d just found out I have a little brother who…who I never got to know. Who never got to know me.”

Daniel stepped closer to the bed.

“I do not want anything from you, Evan,” he explained. “Nothing. I…I am not planning to ask for another transplant or donation or…or anything from you. You don’t owe me anything and I don’t blindly expect anything because this, me being sick, was never your burden to bear or fix.”

Daniel slowly reached out, hand resting on Buck’s shoulder, the younger man finally looking up at him again.

“The only thing I want,” Daniel continued. “Is to fight and get better myself so that maybe, just maybe, we can get to know one another. To…To maybe one day have the relationship we should have had all along.”

He looked sadly at Buck.

“And that has to start with me accepting and acknowledging the truth.”

Buck let out a low sound, not quite willing to trust this, to trust Daniel, just yet.

“And what truth is that exactly?”

“That my parents are terrible people and that they’ve spent a lifetime lying to me. And I am so sorry for what they did to you, Evan.”

Buck stared at Daniel.

Uncertain.

He couldn’t accept the apology.

It wasn’t Daniel’s to give.

He was a victim of his parents lies just the same as Buck was.

But part of Buck wasn’t ready to admit that yet.

He wasn’t ready to take that step.

“I’d like you to leave now, please,” he said instead, pulling carefully away from Daniel’s touch. “I…I need some time.”

“I understand,” Daniel quickly reassured him. “I…I want you to take all the time you need. And when you ready I’ll be there.”

Buck didn’t respond, merely watched, silent and still, as Daniel left.

Bobby was walking down the hall to Buck’s room, bag of fresh, home cooked food in hand, when he saw Daniel Buckley stepping out of the room.

Bobby felt an immediate pang of worry, and a small hint of anger, but when he saw the young man’s face he paused.

Daniel Buckley looked as though someone had just died.

When that blue gaze, so very much like Buck’s, met his, Daniel froze just steps from him.

Neither spoke for a long, tense moment and just as Bobby was deciding to walk by the younger man, Daniel seemed to find his voice.

“I didn’t know.”

Bobby blinked, confused, and it must have shown on his face because Daniel let out a low sound, clearly trying to blink away fresh tears.

“Mr Nash,” Daniel croaked. “I swear, I…I didn’t know. I didn’t know what my parents did. I didn’t know that they…”

Tears finally spilled down his face.

“Thank you,” the young man said unexpectedly. “Thank you for…for choosing him. For loving him. For…For being everything my fucked up parents couldn’t even try to be for him. Just…Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me for loving my son,” Bobby all but snapped before he drew a deep breath, fighting to control his temper. “But I’m guessing if you are thanking me then he told you how he came to be my son.”

Daniel gave a nod and Bobby let out a low sigh through his nose.

“And what about Evan,” Bobby said. “Does he know any of the truths your sister has been keeping from him? Or are you walking in her shadow?”

“I told him everything,” Daniel was quick to reassure. “Everything Maddie told me. And…And it turns out that…that either she’s been lied to or she’s still lying to me. To us.”

Bobby’s frown deepened.

“What do you mean?”

Daniel hesitated and before he could answer his pager went off.

“I’m sorry,” he said, checking it quickly. “Sorry, I’m needed in the ER.” He looked up at Bobby again. “Evan, knows everything now. At least, everything that Maddie told me. I’m sorry, I wish I could stay, to talk about this, to explain, but I…”

“Go.” Bobby said in a gentler tone. He understood what it was like to work a job where you were always on call. “Just…go.”

Daniel gave another nod before sprinting off towards the elevators.

Bobby watched him go before turning and continuing on his way into Buck’s room.

His son was sitting up in his bed, looking lost in thought but broken too.

The expression on his face was similar to the one he’d worn in the days after his mother’s death and it broke his heart and pissed him off to see it again.

“Hey, kid,” Bobby said softly, setting the bag of food on the little table before crossing to the bed.

Buck slowly looked at him and he moved without a thought, settling on the bed and carefully pulling his son into his arms just as Buck broke down and began to sob.

“It’s okay,” Bobby cooed into Buck’s ear as his son clung to him, sobbing against his shoulder. “It’s okay, baby boy. It’s okay. I’m right here. I’ve got you.”

He gently rocked Buck, like when he’d been little, and kept whispering soothing words of love and comfort.

Chapter Text

Maddie Buckley was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital, waiting, watching, trying to determine when she would be able to get back into Evan’s room without having to worry about being thrown out again, when she spotted Daniel coming from the ER.

Hurriedly, she stood and rushed after him.

“Daniel! Daniel, wait!”

He barely paused as he glanced over his shoulder.

The scowl he gave her reminded her immediately of their grandfather.

“I don’t have time for this, Maddie. I’m working.”

“Daniel, just wait.” Maddie followed after him. “Please, I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to put you in such an awkward position and I…”

Daniel swung around then, his scowl deepening and his glare enough to bring her up short.

He had never looked at her that way before.

“An awkward position?” He let out a bitter laugh. “An awkward position?! Are you serious right now?!”

“Daniel.”

“Tell me something, sis,” Daniel snapped. “Did you know? What our parents did to him?”

“What? What are you talking…”

“Did you know they fucking abandoned our brother at a fucking bus stop like he was garbage?!”

Maddie stared at him in shock.

He’d never spoken to her this way.

And he had never looked so angry.

“Daniel…”

“Did you know?!”

Maddie didn’t answer.

She didn’t know how to answer.

And Daniel scoffed when the silence hung too long.

“I can’t fucking believe you,” he growled, voice pitching low with rage, before he turned and started to storm away again.

“Daniel!” Maddie rushed after him, trying to pull him to a stop, trying to get him to listen. “Daniel, wait! Just wait, please!”

Daniel shrugged her off and kept walking.

She was just debating going after him, to demand he listen to her, when a voice sounded from behind her.

“You really know how to fuck things up, don’t you?”

Maddie swung around and found one of the men from Evan’s room, the one who had looked at her, and was still looking at her, like she was something foul he’d scrapped off the bottom of his boot, standing there.

“Look,” she said firmly, hating that this was all happening, hating that she was being painted as the bad guy. “I don’t know who you are or…”

“I’m Tim Bradford,” the man rudely cut her off. “I also happen to be someone who loves and cares about Evan. And I think you and I need to talk, Miss Buckley. Or do you still go by Kendall?”

Maddie swore her heart leapt into her throat.

“What…” She shook her head. “How do you know…”

“I’m a cop.” Tim’s gaze narrowed. “And I know all about you and your family and what your parents did to the man I love. So, like I said, you and I need to talk, because there’s a few things I want to make clear where Evan is concerned.”

“None of this has anything to do with…”

“Did you just miss the part where I said I’m in love with Evan? He’s my partner, Miss Buckley, and I will do everything in my power to protect him. Right now, you and I are going to talk, and you are going to listen, understand?”

Maddie gave a nod.

“Good,” Tim said. “Now, what you did earlier? Barging in? Thinking you were going to take over when Evan’s parents were sitting right there? When I was sitting right there? Thinking you had any right to even act that way? Hell, you even show up at all without a direct invitation from Evan himself, and I will personally make certain you are charged with stalking and spend some time inside a jail cell, understand?”

Maddie was shocked by the aggression in Tim’s tone but she nodded, understanding that trying to argue with him right now would do her no good.

“Next, and I want you to know this very clearly, I strongly suspect the reason you’ve reached out to Evan is because your brother is sick again and you want to use him the same way your parents did.”

Maddie’s eyes widened a touch and Tim grinned, shark-like, seeing the confirmation on her face that he was right.

“Evan deserves better than to be used like an old car for spare parts,” Tim declared. “And if you attempt to manipulate him or guilt him into helping your brother, I will be right there, reminding him exactly of what your parents did to him. Of why he owes you people absolutely fucking nothing. And I will not be the only one.”

“You can’t…”

“What part of I’m Evan’s partner are you not getting, lady? Because a normal relationship for you might include getting beaten up but in mine it’s loving and protecting my partner no matter what.”

Maddie’s anger burned then.

“How dare you,” she snapped. “You have no idea what my marriage was like and how dare you victim shame me.”

“I’m making it clear the lengths I’m willing to go to protect the man I love,” Tim corrected. “And I’m sorry that your husband was an abusive piece of shit, no one, not even you, deserves to go through that. But from where I’m standing, I’m willing to fight dirty to protect Evan. Especially from you and your asshole parents.”

“My parents are good people!”

“Who left their three-year-old son, abandoned, in a fucking bus station.”

Maddie flinched at that and Tim sneered.

“Yeah, I know all about that,” he growled out. “And here’s something you, and your parents, might be interested to know. There is no statute of limitations on child abandonment. In any fucking state.”

Her expression must have reflected her shock, and fear, at his statement because that shark-like grin returned.

“You think about that, Miss Buckley. Have a nice day.”

And without another word he walked off, likely back to Evan’s room, leaving Maddie to process what he had said and the subtle threat he’d given as a parting remark.

Tim walked back into Buck’s room to find him held in Bobby’s arm and he immediately went on what Angela called his red alert mode.

Bobby noticed him first, waving him over, and Tim was immediately at Buck’s bedside, reaching out to run his hand gently over his shoulder.

“Hey,” he said softly, leaning down and brushing a soft kiss to Buck’s temple. “You okay?”

Buck let out a little grunt and Bobby gave a small, barely there smile.

“He talked to Daniel,” Bobby explained, having only minutes ago gotten the full story out of his upset son. “It was a lot emotionally I think.”

Tim nodded.

“I can imagine.” He kept rubbing his hand over Buck’s shoulder. “I just ran into Maddie downstairs.”

He felt Buck stiffen.

“Don’t worry, baby,” he quickly reassured. “I made it clear she wasn’t welcome and what would happen if she pulled another stunt like this morning.”

Bobby’s eyebrow rose just a touch.

“Why do I have a feeling that includes threatening her?”

“You sound like Angela,” Tim grumbled before sighing. “I may have pointed out that child abandonment does not have a statute of limitation.”

Bobby blinked.

“It doesn’t?”

Tim shook his head but before he could say anything Buck spoke up.

“I’m not pressing charges against those people.”

Tim and Bobby exchanged a look.

“No one is saying you have to, kid,” Bobby replied gently. “I think Tim just wanted to scare some sense into Maddie.”

“Shouldn’t have to do that,” Buck grumbled as he slowly, carefully, pulled from his father’s arms and flopped back against his pillows, looking up at Tim.

“I know,” Tim agreed. “But given her attitude earlier I think she needed a blunt reminder of that actions have consequences.”

Buck hummed thoughtfully before scrubbing his hand over his face, rubbing away the last traces of his tears, and Tim hated that Buck had been crying again because of anything Buckley related.

“I think she’ll stay away,” Buck said softly. “Especially since Daniel knows the truth now.”

Tim blinked.

“You told him?”

“I wanted to know what he knew,” Buck explained as Bobby moved from the bed and over to the table where he’d left the food. “Turns out he never knew about me. And he never knew I was a…a saviour baby. He thought the donor was a random match. Apparently Maddie told him their parents gave me up for adoption after his cancer went into remission. He didn’t take the truth well.”

“I can imagine,” Tim said as Bobby returned to the bedside with the container.

“Alright, enough talk about the Buckleys for now,” Bobby said firmly. “I’ve brought you some decent food because hospital food is crap and you need good food to help you get better.”

“You just think good food makes everything better,” Buck teased as Bobby popped the container open and set it on the little table that slid over Buck’s bed.

“Alright, smartass,” Bobby said with a grin. “It’s spinach and tomato pasta with poached eggs, in case you were wondering.”

Buck blinked and looked from the delicious looking food to his Dad.

“Mom’s recipe?”

Bobby gave him a soft, loving smile and nodded.

“Yeah. Had to dig through a box in the garage to find her recipe box. It’s my pasta sauce though, didn’t have enough time to make hers this time.”

Buck felt his eyes prickle with fresh tears but blinked them away.

His Mom had loved pasta dishes and had often come up with her own or replicated ones she tried and loved. And he’d loved trying each and every one of them when he’d been a kid but when he was hurting she always made the spinach and tomato pasta with poached eggs. So for his Dad to go through all the trouble to find Mom’s recipe and make it meant a lot.

“Thanks, Dad,” he said softly and Bobby, seeming to sense his emotions, leaned over and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

“Anything for you, Buckaroo.” Bobby smiled at him. “Always.”

Chapter Text

Weeks passed in the blink of an eye and before Buck knew it he was getting the cast off his leg and starting physiotherapy.

He hated physiotherapy.

It was hard and it hurt and his therapist was sort of a dick.

He pushed himself through each session though because there was no way he was going to risk his future with the LAFD just because things were tough.

He had just finished another session and was leaving the hospital when he saw Daniel across the small sitting area outside.

They hadn’t really talked since that day in his hospital room when Buck had dropped those truth bombshells on the older man and, honestly, Buck felt a little bad about that.

Nothing that had happened was Daniel’s fault.

And, deep down, Buck truly did want to know the man who was his older brother.

He was walking over before he could really think about it.

“Daniel.”

The other man’s head lifted and a look of surprise crossed Daniel’s face.

“Oh, Evan, hi.”

Daniel gave a small smile, clearly hesitant, but not unwilling, it seemed, to talk to him.

“Do you mind if I…” Buck gestured to the empty chair across the table from Daniel and Daniel quickly shook his head.

“Not at all. Please, sit.”

Buck gave a nod and sat, thankful as his leg was aching a bit from therapy.

“You’re looking well,” Daniel said, still smiling just a bit, and Buck grinned a touch.

“Thanks. You too.”

“Are you getting a check up?”

Buck shook his head.

“Just came from physiotherapy,” Buck explained. “I think my therapist has it out for me.”

That made Daniel laugh.

“Everyone says that,” he chuckled, his smile growing a bit. “Who do you have? Maybe I’ll put in a word or two, get them to chill out a bit.”

It was Buck’s turn to laugh.

“Honestly, I think that might make it worse, but I appreciate the offer.”

“Well, if you change your mind it’s an open offer.”

“I’ll keep that in mind but I just got to power through this so I can recertify.”

Daniel gave a curious look at that.

“So you’re going to go back to being a firefighter?”

“Yeah.” Buck gave a nod. “I mean, it’s my calling, you know? And I know a lot of people might take the out and find something less dangerous but…being a firefighter…it’s part of who I am.”

“I understand,” Daniel replied. “I feel the same about being a doctor.”

Buck nodded again.

“So…how have you been? I know the last time we talked you said…you said you were sick again.”

Daniel’s smile dipped a little but didn’t completely disappear.

“So far things are going well. My oncologist is cautiously optimistic because we got it fairly early. She’d have preferred I started my treatments sooner but at least I didn’t wait longer or forgo it completely.”

“That’s good,” Buck said. “I…I’m really glad you’re doing good.”

Daniel gave a slight nod.

“Yeah,” he chuckled softly. “The chemo at least doesn’t seem to suck as much as I remember it did when I was a kid so there is at least a small bonus. And they give us the good Jell-O cups now.”

That made Buck laugh.

“There’s good hospital Jell-O cups? Now you tell me? I’ll have to make sure to ask for them the next time I’m stuck in here for too long.”

Daniel expression shifted to serious then.

“I hope you never get stuck in a hospital again.”

Buck blinked.

Surprised.

Daniel’s tone reminded him of Tim and Eddie.

“Daniel…”

“I know it’s not my place,” Daniel said quickly. “I know we’re not…we’re not in a place where I’m allowed to worry about you but…but I do.” He gave Buck a look that begged the younger man to understand where he was coming from. “I care about you and I…I don’t want to ever see you laid up in a hospital bed again.”

Buck reached across the table and covered Daniel’s hand with his own.

“It’s okay,” he said softly. “I understand and…” He smiled. “And thank you. For caring. And I want you to know that I care about you too. If I can help with…”

“I already told you I’m not asking for that.”

“I can help in other ways,” Buck replied quickly. “I can sit with you during chemo or I can drive you to appointments or…or we could just hang out when you’re feeling like crap and binge ridiculous reality TV or whatever you like. Heck, I bet I could even get my Dad to make some of his famous mac-and-cheese to share.”

“You’d really do all that? After everything our…my…parents did?”

“What they did wasn’t your fault. You were a kid. Just like I was. If anything you’re just as much a victim as I am.

And, honestly, I don’t know about you, but I grew up wishing I had a brother so much and now…now we have a chance to have that. Despite everything that happened, everything that could have happened, we have this chance and I…I don’t want to let it slip through my fingers.”

Daniel’s eyes shone with unshed tears and he drew his hand back just enough to lace his fingers with Buck’s.

“I’d really like that, Evan.”

“Buck. My friends and family call me Buck.”

Daniel’s smile widened and when he blinked a single tear rolled down his cheek.

“Buck,” he repeated, smile bright and happy. “That’s a good nickname.”

Buck laughed and, for the first time in a while, felt like everything was going to be okay.

Over the next few weeks, Buck and Daniel talked more and more, learning about one another, connecting in a way they had both feared wouldn’t happen. So, naturally, Buck decided, since he was getting to know his older brother, who was so much more open and honest than Maddie had been, that he wanted Daniel to get to know his family.

So he invited him to a barbeque that his Dad and Athena were hosting.

Daniel had been hesitant at first, not wanting to overstep, until Bobby had plucked the phone from Buck’s hand and told him that he was more than welcome and not to worry about bringing anything since there was always too much food and drink at the family barbeques anyways.

So, come Sunday, Daniel was knocking at the door of Buck’s parents house trying not to let his nervousness show too much.

The door opened to reveal Buck’s stepmother, Athena, who smiled kindly at him.

“Daniel, hello,” she greeted, gesturing for him to come in.

“Mrs Nash,” he greeted, holding out the bottle of wine he’d brought. “I know Mr Nash said not to bring anything but, well, my grandmother always said it was rude to show up to a party empty handed.”

“That’s very kind of you.” Athena accepted the wine and made a little sound of approval. “Your grandmother sounds like my mother.”

Daniel chuckled, feeling some of the tension beginning to ebb, as Athena led him further inside.

“Now, Buck’s out at the grill with Tim and Bobby, I think they’re trying to teach Eddie to cook because Lord knows that boy needs all the help he can get. Everyone else is out in the garden or thereabouts.” Athena gestured towards the open patio doors and Daniel could see a number of people outside. “You just go on ahead. I’m going to open this lovely bottle and I’ll be out in a minute.”

Daniel nodded and, nerves returning, made his way outside.

He had barely stepped out onto the patio when Buck spotted him.

“Danny!”

Buck was suddenly there, pulling him into a hug, which Daniel happily, eagerly, returned.

“You made it,” Buck laughed, drawing back, hand resting on Daniel’s shoulder. “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Daniel got quick introductions to Hen, and her wife Karen, and Howard, call me Chimney, and he really had to remember to ask later about that nickname, and then Michael, who turned out to be Athena’s ex-husband and Buck’s unofficial stepfather, and, lastly, Buck swung him back around to the grill.

“And you’ve met my Dad, Bobby, and boyfriend, Tim,” Buck said, smiling brightly, that happy smile that Daniel thought he should always have because Buck was basically a walking human sunbeam. “And this is my best friend, Eddie. Who is clearly burning the corn.”

Eddie cursed and tried to turn to the corn to avoid further blackening it but Tim was quickly stepping in, shooing him away as he moved to save the corn.

“You had one job, Diaz,” Tim pretended to grump and Eddie, after checking none of the kids were around, flipped him off.

“I can cook,” Eddie insisted, earning a shake of the head from Bobby and a laugh from Buck. “I’ve managed to keep myself and my kid fed all this time haven’t I?”

“Barely,” Buck teased, earning a glare.

“Stuff it, Nash,” he playfully growled before turning his attention to Daniel. “Hi, sorry about these guys. Eddie Diaz.”

Daniel shook his hand.

“Daniel Buckley.” He grinned a little. “Are you really that bad of a cook or is Buck just exaggerating?”

“Oh he’s not terrible,” Bobby chimed in, flipping a steak. “But he did burn water when I tried to teach him to make soup so take from that what you will.”

“I did not burn the water!” Eddie huffed and then muttered, “It was just the vegetables.”

That sent a chorus of laughter around the garden and Daniel felt himself relax.

These people, Buck’s friends and family, were good people and Daniel was glad he had the chance to get to know them.

By the time the food was ready and served, Daniel had met Buck’s two younger stepsiblings, May and Harry, as well as Hen and Karen’s son, Denny, and Eddie’s son, Christopher.

Christopher, Daniel had to admit, stole part of his heart almost immediately.

The boy had cerebral palsy, Eddie had explained, but was so determined and confident that it was beyond heart warming. It was inspiring.

As they sat at the tables, Christopher was explaining to Daniel, who kept his attention fully on the boy, about his book report for school. Apparently, according to Christopher, most of the kids were reading Harry Potter but that Christopher, thanks to Buck, was doing Call of the Wild. When Daniel asked him what he thought of the book, Christopher smiled brightly.

“I like it’s about a dog not a person,” Christopher said which immediately caused his father to give him a knowing look.

“And I say again, we’re not getting a dog, kiddo,” Eddie said, scooping some potato salad onto Christopher’s plate. “Not right now, at least. Maybe when you’re a little older.”

Christopher pouted a bit, even when Buck gave him a playful nudge, and Daniel took the moment to add to the conversation.

“What kind of dog would you want to get, Christopher?”

Christopher hummed as he thought and then smiled.

“A shelter dog, that way we’d be giving a home to a dog in need.”

Daniel smiled and didn’t miss how Eddie looked at his son, like the boy hung the moon.

“I think that’s a really great idea,” he said, which made Christopher’s smile widen. “I always wanted a dog growing up.”

“Yeah?” Christopher leaned forward a bit in his chair, careful not to fall. “What kind?”

“Oh, I think I’d have been happy with any kind really, but if I had to pick it would be something big and fluffy and friendly.”

Christopher nodded and Chimney, sitting just down the table, chuckled a bit.

“Sounds a lot like Buck,” the man laughed, earning an eye roll from Hen and a round of laughter from everyone else. “I mean, he’s basically the human equivalent of a golden retriever.”

“Ha, ha, Chim,” Buck fired back and Christopher, sweet kid, patted him on the arm.

“It’s okay, Bucky,” he said, smiling up at Buck. “Golden retrievers are good dogs. Everybody loves them. And everybody loves you.”

“Everybody, huh?”

“Yup.” Christopher said it like it was fact, and naturally Harry and Denny agreed almost immediately. “But nobody more than me.”

“I dunno,” Tim spoke up, grinning playfully. “I love him a whole lot, buddy.”

“Yeah, but that’s different,” Christopher replied all grown up like. “You love him because he’s your boyfriend. I love him because he’s my best friend.”

“He’s got a point,” Daniel chimed in playfully. “Best friend trumps everything else.”

And that sent another round of laughter around the table and Daniel noticed how Bobby was looking at him, smiling, like he was pleased and he realized that maybe Bobby had been nervous about him being there too. That maybe, after everything that had happened with Maddie, Bobby worried Daniel would be more of the same and was relieved that he wasn’t. That he was willing to put in the work, the effort, to be part of Buck’s life.

Daniel smiled at the man, getting a knowing nod back, and it felt like this was where everything had always been heading.

Maddie Buckley was sitting in her hotel room, alone, nursing a bottle of wine, scrolling through Instagram when she got a notification that Daniel had made a new post.

She would never admit that, since their conversations and contact had dwindle after that day at the hospital, but she’d taken to keeping an eye on Daniel’s social media even though he rarely used it.

Tapping the notification, thinking he’d probably posted about some restaurant or event he’d gone out to, she was surprised to see a collection of photos of Daniel with Evan and Evan’s friends.

The first photo was of Daniel and Evan, arms wrapped around one another’s shoulders, both smiling brightly, happily, and it felt like someone had knocked the wind of out her lungs.

Daniel and Evan were talking. They were hanging out. Without her.

Scrolling through the other photos revealed they were at someone’s home, having what looked like a party, and she couldn’t help but scowl at the photo of Daniel standing with Evan’s adoptive father at a grill, Bobby seemingly showing Daniel something, and Daniel was smiling so happily.

Another picture showed Daniel with who she assumed were Evan’s coworkers, all laughing and clearly having a good time.

The last few though, really caught her attention.

Daniel and a man she had seen in Evan’s hospital room. They were standing, each holding a beer, Daniel looking at the man with a warm smile while the man was grinning at him almost playfully.

The next photo was of Daniel and a laughing little boy, who looked like he could be Evan’s with those curls and bright smile, perched on his lap with arms wrapped around Daniel’s neck and shoulders in a happy hug.

The last photo was Daniel, the man from Evan’s hospital room and that same little boy.

They looked, she couldn’t help but think, like a family.

A quick check at the caption revealed Daniel had tagged the man, Eddie Diaz, and she quickly tapped on his name to bring up his Instagram. It was primarily photos of the boy, his son it seemed, but there were some with Evan and the 118 team, and people she assumed were the Diaz family.

She couldn’t help the stab of jealousy she felt.

Daniel was connecting with Evan. Was connecting with Evan’s friends.

Without her.

She was their big sister and they were leaving her out.

She startled when her phone unexpectedly rung and, seeing the caller ID, she quickly answered.

“Hi, Mom.”

Chapter Text

The day Buck was finally able to return to work was, in Buck’s opinion, a great day.

He was as excited and happy to walk through the doors of the 118 as he had been his first day as a probie.

The day hadn’t been overly strenuous, most of the calls were pretty standard, easy really, and Chimney even commented that it seemed like the universe was purposely taking it easy on them for a change. Hen had replied that maybe the universe was just taking it easy on Buck and they were sharing in it by association.

Buck had laughed about it but there was a small part of him that was grateful.

As eager as he was to get back into the swing of things he wasn’t exactly keen on being thrown into another life or death situation. Not right away at least.

He still, from time to time, had nightmares about the ladder truck and he wasn’t sure he could handle too much more on top of that.

So, he happily took the calm that the day had seemed happy enough to provide, knowing that, all too soon, chaos would erupt and he’d be thrown back into the fire, figuratively and literally.

During a lull between calls, Buck was relaxing on the couch, reading a book Daniel had recommended, half listening as Hen and Bobby discussed a new recipe Bobby had found, when Eddie sat on the couch next to him, grinning brightly while looking at his phone.

Buck, curious, tilted his head and asked what had his best friend grinning like that.

“This,” Eddie said, showing him the photo currently pulled up on his phone.

A selfie, judging from the angle, of Daniel and Christopher in front of the penguin exhibit at the zoo. Both were grinning brightly, with Christopher leaning into Daniel with his head against the man’s shoulder while Daniel’s cheek was pressed against Christopher’s hair. They both looked so happy.

“That is freaking adorable,” Buck said, grinning himself. “Send it to me, yeah?”

“Of course. I got one from date night where Christopher accidently coated Danny in whip cream when we were at that make your own sundae place that you’ll just love.”

“Okay, now that I have to see.”

Buck was immediately sitting up so Eddie could show him the picture in question which had the younger man cackling and vowing he’d never let Daniel live it down. Which meant immediately texting his brother to let him know he’d seen the picture. Daniel’s response was, naturally, the middle finger emoji followed by a bunch of laughing faces.

“I’m glad you and Danny hit it off so well,” Buck said, leaning back against the couch, still grinning, taking in the way Eddie’s expression softened in a way it only did when he was talking or thinking about Christopher. “You guys seem good for one another.”

“He’s a really great guy,” Eddie replied softly, looking at the picture of Daniel and Christopher at the zoo again. “And Christopher loves him so much already.”

Buck playfully bumped his shoulder against Eddie’s.

“I don’t think it’s only Christopher feeling that way.”

Eddie’s cheeks turned a soft shade of pink and he opened his mouth but before he could respond, Chimney was at the top of the loft stairs and calling out to Buck.

“Hey, Buck, you got some visitors.”

Buck exchanged a look with Eddie before getting up and crossing to the stairs.

He was halfway down the stairs when he saw a middle aged couple standing by the open bay door. The man was dressed like his high school English teacher, all professional looking, and the woman looked like a stereotypical housewife. They looked so out of place but, more than that, Buck couldn’t say that he recognized them.

“Uh, excuse me,” he said as he approached the pair, who immediately turned their attention to him. “Uh…I’m Evan Nash. I was told you were looking for me?”

The woman’s eyes widened and the man looked him up and down as though surprised.

“Oh,” the man said, pausing to clear his throat and adjust his glasses. “Oh, hello, yes, sorry, I…gosh, you’re taller than I thought you’d be.”

Buck blinked and stopped several feet away from the pair, suddenly hesitant and uncertain, and he glanced over his shoulder to see his team at the rail, all curious but likely trying to give him privacy to greet his guests.

Returning his attention to the couple, he bounced a bit on the balls of his feet.

“Sorry, but…I…I don’t think I know you,” he said, frowning a bit. “I mean…not to be rude…but you don’t look familiar. Have we met?”

“Oh,” the woman was playing with the pearl necklace she wore now. “Well, yes, yes we have met before. A very long time ago now. I’m Margaret.” She was looking at him strangely now and he didn’t particularly like it when she smiled, all cold and tight. “I’m your mother.”

It suddenly felt as though all the air had been sucked out of the room.

Daniel had offered, once they’d started really talking, to tell him about his biological parents but, in that moment, Buck hadn’t been ready. Not after all the nonsense he’d gone through with Maddie. And Daniel had respected his decision. Had told him whenever he was ready he’d answer any and all questions.

And now Margaret Buckley was standing in front of him.

At the 118.

The place that was as much his home as the house he shared with Tim.

The woman who had had him for spare parts, who had abandoned him, who had spent years pretending he didn’t even exist, was standing in his home.

Buck saw her mouth move but couldn’t quite make out the words because there was a ringing in his ears so loud it was as though he was in the ladder truck bombing all over again.

He was startled when a hand curled around his elbow.

Blinking, he found Eddie at his side, looking angry and then he heard his Dad’s voice flitter through the ringing in his ears.

“…don’t give a damn,” Bobby snarled, oh, when had his Dad come down the stairs and put himself between Buck and the Buckleys? “I’ve asked you to leave. This is a firehouse not a damn coffee shop, you can’t just loiter about, harassing one of my crew.”

“We are hardly harassing anyone,” the man, who could only be Phillip Buckley, said, scowling at Bobby.

“Unless you have an emergency, I say you are,” Bobby fired back, stepping just enough to further shield Buck from the unwanted visitors. “Now, you can leave on your own or I can notify LAPD and they can send someone to remove you. The choice is yours.”

“You can’t…”

“I am the captain of this firehouse and my job is to protect my people and ensure they are able to do their jobs. Jobs that require them to be focused and unhindered by outside bullshit such as strangers showing up and harassing them while on shift!

Now, again, you can leave on your own or the police can remove me. Make your choice.”

Buck felt Eddie tugging him back and away, gently trying to guide him in the direction of the bunkroom and he stumbled along, catching snippets of the continued conversation between Bobby and the Buckleys until, finally, Bobby seemed to have enough of them.

“Hen!” Bobby barked out. “Call the LAPD. Tell them I’ve got trespassers refusing to leave the firehouse and I want them arrested! Better yet, call Sergeant Grant, I’m sure she’d love the chance to drag these fools out of my house.”

That had the desired effect and, despite protests from Margaret, Phillip was quickly reassuring Bobby that the police were not necessary.

The last Buck heard before the bunkroom door shut behind him and Eddie was Phillip saying that they were leaving.

Eddie got him to his bunk and, as though his body understood what was going on better than he did in that moment, his knees buckled.

“Easy, Buck,” Eddie said softly, steadying him, hand gripping his shoulder. “Easy. Just breathe, okay? Big, deep breath for me.”

Buck nodded and, it took a couple of tries, but he did manage one deep breath and then another and another and another until his ears finally stopped ringing.

With the loss of the ringing, he became aware of how badly he was shaking.

Eddie, seeing the obvious upset on Buck’s face, settling next to him and wrapping an arm around him while reaching out to take hold of one his hands, their fingers lacing.

“It’s okay,” he said softly. “It’s okay, Buck. Everything’s going to be okay.”

“How…” Buck shook his head, voice little more than a croak. “How did they find me?”

“I don’t know. But it doesn’t matter, okay?”

“It does matter!” Buck jerked away from Eddie and was on his feet again despite his knees feeling like Jell-O. “Because only two people could have told them where to find me!”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Eddie stood, reaching out to grasp Buck’s arm. “Daniel would never do that to you. Not after working so hard to earn your trust and friendship. He wouldn’t hurt you like this.”

“Which means it had to be Maddie.” Buck shook his head, feeling tears filling his eyes despite his growing anger. “I thought…I thought she’d taken the hint and was giving me time! I thought she was being mature about all of this!”

“I know, bud,” Eddie said softly, hating that his best friend was hurting so much.

“Everything was just starting to feel normal again and then they had to show up and…and throw everything out of whack.” Buck scrubbed at his eyes. “I hate this. I hate feeling like I’m off balance and out of my depth.”

Eddie quickly pulled Buck into a hug.

“I got you, Buck,” he said in Buck’s ear. “Me and your dad and the team and Tim and Danny. We all got you.”

The door to the bunkroom opened and Bobby poked his head in, looking a mix of angry and worried.

“Hey,” he said as Buck and Eddie drew apart. “You okay, kid?”

Buck gave a half-hearted shrug.

“I mean…no? Not really? I feel like I’m on a rollercoaster and everything is spinning out of control.”

Bobby stepped fully into the room and, not surprisingly, before he closed the door Buck spotted Hen and Chimney lingering just outside.

“What can I do?” Bobby stepped towards his son. “What do you need?”

“I…I…”

And, because the universe had shitty timing, the bell rang.

Buck looked at his Dad, not wanting to say the words, to ask for what he needed, but, thankfully, Bobby knew.

Bobby always knew what he needed.

“You’re man behind this call,” Bobby said and got no protest from his son. “Just relax for a while and get your head straight. When I get back we can talk if you want.”

Buck nodded and, quick as a flash, Bobby and Eddie were gone.

Buck waited a few minutes before wandering back out to the main floor and then back up to the loft where he settled on one of the couches in a patch of sunlight where he dozed for a while until his phone suddenly chimed with a text message from Tim.

Date night with Angela, Wesley, Eddie and Danny. No arguments.

Well, that meant someone had reached out to Tim. Not that Buck could blame them. He would have reached out to his boyfriend in time himself.

Smiling to himself, Buck sent a quick reply back confirming that date night sounded good.

He needed a distraction and a good night out with Tim and their friends sounded like just the thing.

Chapter Text

When Buck arrived home after his shift and asked Tim exactly what sort of date night they were having, he had to admit his surprise when Tim told they were going to Oaks, a fancy restaurant that both Buck and Angela had been eyeing for a while.

Buck had, naturally, pointed out the place required a reservation, Tim had simply replied that Wesley had taken care of everything before pushing him gently towards the bedroom, insisting he needed to be ready by eight which meant there was no time to stand around talking and that his suit was already hanging on the closet door.

Walking into the restaurant less than an hour later, made Buck feel a little giddy.

Oaks was simply stunning.

Modern décor but style somehow still maintaining an air of intimacy, a soft jazz band was playing live in the far corner, and the hustle and bustle spoke of just how popular the place was.

Buck wasn’t surprised that the others were already at a table and he greeted Angela, who looked stunning in that little black dress and heels, with a smile and quick kiss to her cheek.

“Is it just me or is this place amazing,” Buck asked as he took his seat, grinning, feeling more comfortable than he had most of the day.

“Oh, it is,” Angela said, grinning herself as she looked at Wesley. “You outdid yourself this time, babe.”

Wesley smiled, looking a little sheepish.

“It wasn’t a big deal, really. My friend needed some cheering up plus we all get date night out of it. Seems like a win-win to me.”

“Not to knock the gesture,” Buck said. “But I’d have been okay going to the bar or out to one of our usually places.”

“Extreme circumstances,” Wesley replied, sounding very much like the lawyer he was. “While normally the bar or usual spots would suffice, given the situation you were forced into earlier you, and by extension the people who care about you, deserve a better evening out than our usual fare.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Daniel said, earning a round of laughter from everyone, before he looked at Buck. “I’m sorry, by the way, that my parents are tactless idiots.”

“Not your fault.” Buck refused to let Daniel bare any of the responsibility for what the Buckleys had done. “As far as I’m concerned I got the best of the Buckleys when I met you.”

A faint blush graced Daniel’s face and Angela cooed at the sweetest of the brothers before a waitress arrived, bringing water and menus for Tim and Buck, saying she’d give everyone a few more minutes and then she’d be back to take their orders.

The conversation turned then to the food, Angela and Buck debating the steak or the pasta, and it wasn’t long before all the headaches of earlier were forgotten as everyone talked and relaxed and enjoyed themselves.

And for a little while Buck completely forgot about the Buckleys and how their sudden arrival had thrown him into a tailspin.

He had just tried a bite of Tim’s desert, all but moaning at the perfect blend of chocolate, orange and spice, when the universe decided he’d had enough serenity.

And really, he was starting to hate the universe’s sense of shitty timing.

“Daniel? Evan?”

Buck’s head snapped around even as Daniel did the same, eyes wide, his expression of surprise likely mirrored on Buck’s own face as they found Maddie standing just a few steps away from the table.

Buck felt himself stiffen and he exchanged a quick look with Daniel.

“Maddie,” Buck greeted politely, if a little stiffly, not surprised when Tim leaned in a little closer or that Eddie put his hand on Daniel’s arm, a silent gesture of support. “Hey.”

“I wasn’t certain it was you two or not,” Maddie said, smiling, sounding a mix of excited and happy, not seeming to notice when Daniel suddenly seemed very interested in his phone. “How funny is it that we’d run into you both here.”

“We?”

Buck didn’t like the sound of that but before he could question further another voice drew his attention.

“Maddie, did you find…oh, oh Daniel! Sweetheart, what a pleasant surprise!”

Margaret Buckley was suddenly at her daughter’s side, Phillip Buckley close behind, smiling brightly at Daniel, who had looked up from his phone at the sound of her voice, a frown gracing his face.

“Mom,” Daniel did not sound or look happy. “It certainly is a surprise.”

“Oh, well,” Margaret chuckled. “We were planning to come see you tomorrow but this is such a wonderful coincidence.”

“Coincidence, right.” Daniel turned a cold glare to Maddie. “Or maybe somebody has been stalking my social media posts.”

Maddie blinked, trying to look shocked by the accusation but, unfortunately for her, she looked more guilty than shocked.

“Daniel, what…I don’t know what…”

“Oh, save it, Mads.” Daniel laid his phone on the table, showing the Instagram post he had made shortly after they had all arrived. “I can see you liked that post. Plus, it’s pretty coincidental that you and our parents just happen to show up at the same restaurant that Buck and I are at, wouldn’t you say?”

“Well, I…”

Maddie seemed at a loss for words but Margaret clearly wasn’t.

“Oh, why does it matter,” she said, shaking her head, missing or ignoring the sharp way Daniel looked at her.

“It matters,” Daniel snapped. “Because it’s an invasion of my privacy to just show up, uninvited, when I’m clearly out for a night with friends.”

Margaret seemed absolutely stunned that her son would speak to her that way.

“Daniel…”

“If you’re genuinely here to eat or have an evening with Maddie then, by all means, Mom, go to your table and have at it. I am having an evening with my friends and my brother. I will see you sometime later this week.”

“Well, I thought tomorrow we could…”

“I’m working tomorrow,” Daniel pointed out. “Just like I’m working until later this week. Which you would know if you had bothered to actually check in with me instead of just showing up. But then, why am I surprised you’d try to ambush me when you already did that to Buck!”

“We hardly ambushed…” Phillip started but Daniel quickly cut him off.

“You showed up, uninvited, to where he works. That is literally an ambush.”

“We just wanted…”

“We know damn well what you wanted,” Daniel snapped. “And I’m telling you, again, because clearly you had a hard time understanding it the first time, I’m not asking him for anything. Nothing. No blood or bone marrow or anything.”

Daniel looked at Buck, his expression softening, and Buck smiled gently back at him.

“Medicine,” Daniel continued, looking back at his parents and sister. “Has come a long way since I was a kid and, besides, I’m not you.”

Phillip’s nostrils flared.

“And what exactly does that mean?”

“It means I’m not butchering and then abandoning my little brother just to save my own ass!”

Daniel drew a deep breath, calming himself, giving a few apologetic looks to the nearby tables, who had all glanced over at his raised voice. Eddie rubbed his hand over Daniel’s shoulder.

“I think we’re done for tonight,” Eddie said calmly, though his eyes were flashing with his anger as he looked around for the waitress but Wesley quickly stepped in.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ve got the bill,” Wesley said kindly, hating that the night had so clearly been spoiled, not only for Daniel and Buck but for everyone at the table.

“Wesley, I…” Daniel started and even Eddie seemed a little uncertain about accepting but Wesley waved his concern away.

“Don’t worry about it, really. Besides, if I don’t use some of my trust fund every now and again my mother tends to get antsy. You can pay next time we go to the bar if you want.”

Daniel gave a shaky smile and nod before standing, Eddie close behind, pausing long enough to look at Buck.

“I’ll see you Thursday for dinner,” he asked, uncertain if Buck would want to partake in their weekly ritual, but was relieved when Buck nodded.

“I’ll see you then,” Buck reassured and Daniel smiled, arm looping around Eddie’s waist before they took their leave.

“Daniel,” Margaret tried to reach out for Daniel’s arm but Eddie sidestepped and blocked her even as Daniel all but snapped at her again.

“Good night, Mom.”

The Buckleys were forced to watch as Daniel left without a backwards glance.

When Margaret looked at the table, specifically at Buck, everyone stiffened and Angela practically bristled at the look on the older woman’s face.

“Evan,” Margaret started but Angela had had enough of the woman and her family.

“Ma’am, I think it would be best if you, all of you, left. Now.”

Margaret met Angela’s gaze without flinching.

Buck had to give the woman credit that was a bold move.

Not very smart but bold.

“I don’t know who you think you are,” Margaret snapped, some of that carefully constructed mask starting to slip now that Daniel was gone. “But…”

Angela pulled her badge from her purse and laid it on the table.

“That’s who I am.” She smiled, but it was that sharp smile she used when interrogating a suspect. “And unless you want to be hauled in for harassment and stalking I’d suggest you use this opportunity to walk away.”

Margaret’s gaze narrowed.

“You can’t…”

“I think,” Tim said, fishing his badge from his coat and laying it on the table. “You’ll find we can. Especially if Buck decides he wants to press harassment charges against you.”

“We’re hardly harassing anyone,” Phillip said and Wesley let out a low sound.

“I’d be less concerned with the harassment charge and more concerned about what other things might come to light while you’re being booked.”

Phillip met Wesley’s gaze then.

“Excuse me?”

“No, no I don’t think I will excuse you,” Wesley replied. “But I will enlighten you to a few things. What you did, in Pennsylvania and Minnesota? Crimes. Federal crimes, if spun the right way, and believe me when I say I have the creative mind to spin them the right way. Now, unless you’d like your neighbours and your family and your friends back home in…wherever…to find out all about your dirty laundry, I suggest you walk away.”

Margaret had gone pale at Wesley’s veiled threat but Phillip was turning an unattractive shade of red, boarding on purple.

“You son of a bitch, I should…”

“Careful, Mr Buckley,” Tim cut in, grinning like a shark smelling blood in the water. “Uttering threats is a criminal offense.”

Phillip looked at Buck then.

“Evan, son…”

“Don’t call me that,” Buck was quick to interject. “I am not your son. And I’m not interested in anything you have to say.

My friend and my boyfriend have both told you, rather politely, to leave. I’d appreciate if you did that and let us get on with our night in peace.”

“That is no way to speak to your…”

“To my what?” Buck was silently daring Phillip Buckley to call him son again. “What exactly are you to me aside from a sperm donor?”

Phillip’s nostrils flared and, for a brief second, Buck was certain the man was going to reach out for him, but it seemed Angela and Tim had also picked up on that and both were to their feet.

“Are we going to have a problem, Mr Buckley,” Angela asked calmly while Tim showed an approaching, and concerned, waiter his badge.

The look on Phillip Buckley’s face could have peeled paint but, finally, he seemed ready, more or less, to throw in the towel, likely realizing the two police officers would make could on their threats to arrest him. His daughter, however, was not yet ready to admit defeat.

“Evan,” Maddie practically begged. “Evan, please, you have to understand…”

“Understand what,” Angela was the one to interrupt. “That your parents are miserable pieces of shit who clearly don’t understand boundaries? Or that you’re a whiny child who is about to throw a tantrum because things aren’t going exactly your way? I think he gets all of that.”

“You can’t talk to me like…”

“Like what?” Angela gave Maddie an unimpressed look. “Like you’re a problem I need to fix so that my friends can get on with their lives in peace? Because, lady, that’s exactly what you and your parents are. Now, I suggest you take my advice and leave. Before this gets messier than it already is.”

“Evan,” Maddie tried pleading with Buck again. “Evan, please, we can talk about this.”

“To what end exactly?” Buck stood then, tired of everything, just wanting this night to be over with already. “What exactly can you say that will make me believe a single word out of your mouth?”

He looked briefly at Margaret and Phillip.

“I don’t care what you want or why you came to Los Angeles,” he said firmly. “I don’t want anything from you and I certainly don’t have anything for you. Danny has made his wishes clear and, unless he changes his mind, there’s nothing more to be said or done.”

“We just want…” Margaret starting, clearly think she could appeal to Buck. “We just wanted to make certain…”

“That Daniel would be taken care of, right,” Tim interjected, refusing to let her try and manipulate the man he loved. “You wanted to be sure that the son you really wanted was alright. You don’t give a damn about Buck.”

“That’s not true. We…”

“If you cared at all about him you wouldn’t have shown up at the 118 today with no warning. Do you have any idea how badly that could have gone? The head space you put him in?

People depend on him to be at his best on the worst fucking day of their life. But did you ever stop to consider that? To consider the harm you could be doing? You never stopped to think about how he would take this. How his family would take it. And then you have the nerve to act like the fucking victims in all of this.

But I’m not falling for your act. And neither will Buck or Daniel or anyone in their lives. So, do yourselves a favor, and quite while you’re ahead before you dig yourself a hole too deep to climb out of.”

There was a moment of a stand off before, finally, Margaret and Phillip decided they were better off admitting defeat before they pushed things too far and ended up arrested, and they wisely walked away, tugging a somewhat resistant Maddie with them.

Angela watched the Buckleys go until they disappeared around the far corner of the room, on edge and no longer feeling the relaxed happiness of earlier. Her every instinct screamed that the Buckleys might have lost the battle but they were far from giving up on this war.

Wesley, as they were leaving the restaurant, quietly, gently, told Buck that if he needed anything legal done about the Buckleys to just let him know and he’d take care of it while Angela told him her offer to arrest them for harassment still stood.

Buck thanked them both before he and Tim headed for the parking lot. He hated that the evening, which had been going so well, had ended the way it did and, clearly, something of his emotions must have showed on his face as they were leaving the restaurant because Tim looped an arm around his waist, pulling him in close.

“None of what happened was your fault,” Tim said softly.

“I know,” Buck replied just as softly. “Rationally, I know that, but…”

“But it’s still a little hard to believe it.”

Buck nodded.

“Sometimes it just feels like I never should have used that website and…”

“Evan!”

Buck flinched at the sound of Maddie’s voice and he started to turn, only to be tugged back by Tim, who quietly told him he didn’t have to speak to or acknowledge her.

They were nearly to Tim’s truck when a hand brushed against Buck’s elbow, Maddie’s voice sounding right behind him as she said his name again only for the word to turn into a gasp as Angela, who had been certain one, if not all, of the Buckleys would try something, seemed to have finally had enough.

“You really are stupid, aren’t you,” Angela ground out, pulling Maddie away from Buck and Tim. “Go on, guys, we’re just going to have a little chat. Girl to girl.”

Buck hesitated but, after a gentle tug from Tim, let his boyfriend lead him away.

Angela Lopez had never liked a bully.

Growing up with brothers she had learned early on how to spot a bully and how to best deal with them.

And when she looked at Maddie Buckley all she saw was a bully.

Someone used to pushing and prodding and manipulating until she got what she wanted.

And right now what Maddie Buckley wanted was to twist Buck into doing her, and by extension her parents, bidding.

And there was no way Angela was going to stand by and just let that happen.

She had gotten a feeling when Buck and Tim had left the restaurant ahead of her and Wesley and had followed after them, just to be sure they made it to Tim’s truck without any issue, and the moment she saw Maddie tailing them had stepped in to protect her friend.

She waited now until she was certain Buck and Tim were in the truck and leaving before she turned her full attention to Maddie.

“You really are a special kind of stupid, aren’t you,” she asked, causing Maddie to stare at her in shock. “Do you not understand the meaning of the words no and back off or do you just twist things to suit you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Maddie snapped. “I’m just trying to…”

“To convince Buck to do something Daniel has already said he doesn’t want.”

“Daniel is just confused. He doesn’t…”

“He knows what he wants,” Angela fired back, refusing to back down. “And he’s been very clear about it. You need to accept it and move on.”

“He doesn’t know how bad it could get,” Maddie retorted. “He was so young before. He doesn’t remember…”

“Have you even talked to Daniel about it? About what he remembers? Have you considered asking him why he doesn’t want Buck donating to him this time around?”

“I know why he’s doing it! He’s trying to be noble! To try show our parents he doesn’t need their help but he does! He needs them, and me, and if Evan wasn’t so selfish he’d just tell Daniel to…”

“Hold up.” Angela shook her head, refusing to listen to anymore of this nonsense. “You think Buck is the reason Daniel doesn’t want…are you hearing yourself right now?”

“You…”

“Daniel doesn’t want Buck to donate or do anything for him because of what your parents did.”

“They were trying to save my brother!”

“And what about Buck? What about what they did to him after he’d fulfilled his purpose?”

“They didn’t…”

“Are you really trying to pretend we didn’t already make it clear that I already know exactly what your parents did? You cannot be naïve enough to think that what they did to Buck, to a toddler, their own son, was okay. That it was the right thing to do.”

“They’re good people,” Maddie tried but Angela scoffed and shook her head.

“Good people don’t throw their kid away like garbage.”

Maddie flinched then but Angela wasn’t done.

“You know, I’ve got brothers, all of them a pain in my ass in one way or another, but I would never, not for a single second, treat them the way you treat Buck.”

“I…”

“You act like you’re entitled to show up and demand he give up pieces of himself to help save Daniel but then you get all whiny and try playing the victim when he won’t give you what you want.”

“That’s not…”

“You could have had a really great relationship with Buck,” Angela pressed on. “He would have loved you, unconditionally and without regret, because that’s who he is at the very core. A good and caring man whose entire world is built around his family.

But you lied and tried to manipulate him without caring about the damage you were causing. And when he figured it out, when he called you out on your bullshit, you switched tactics and thought your parents would somehow make him do what you want.”

Angela shook her head, seeing Wesley waiting with their car, watching with his phone in hand in case he had to make any sort of emergency call.

“Think about this,” she said, giving Maddie a hard look. “Do you think Daniel forged a relationship with Buck by being manipulative? Or did he forge that relationship with honesty? Kindness? Love? Think about what they’ve created for themselves and then think about what you’ve lost. Tell me then that you’re just doing the right thing.”

Angela walked away from Maddie then, heading towards Wesley, who looked relieved that things hadn’t escalated. She paused briefly and looked back at Maddie.

“Word of warning,” she said, watching how Maddie stiffened in response. “If you, or your parents, approach Buck like this again I don’t care what he says or wants, I will arrest you for harassment and stalking. And then, while you are sitting in a holding cell, I will do everything in my power to make certain your parents pay for what they did to him.”

“You…You can’t…”

“I already helped take down someone who hurt him once. And that was before I really knew him. What do you think I’ll be willing to do now that I love him like a brother?”

Angela left Maddie behind to think about that.

Chapter Text

Buck woke the next morning feeling more worn out that he had during his entire time doing physical therapy.

He was just emotionally, mentally and physically worn down.

So he did something he had not willingly done before.

He texted Bobby and called off work.

His Dad’s response was a simple I’ll drop by after shift and take care of yourself.

Buck knew his Dad would reach out to Tim, would want to check in and make sure things were really okay, but he couldn’t fault him for it.

After a shower and some breakfast, he made certain to book an appointment with Doctor Copeland, knowing he had to work through what had happened, and was thankful that she managed to fit him in later that afternoon. Once that was done he stood in the kitchen, feeling kind of like a boat bobbing along in choppy waters, and trying to figure out what his next move was.

Which was how he found himself going into the living room and digging one of the photo albums off the shelf before sitting on the floor, slowly looking through the pictures pressed between those pages.

Snapshots from the day Bobby and Marcy had brought him home that ended with a picture of Buck, sitting on his bed with Marcy, reading to her from one of the books they had bought just for him.

Page after page, photo after photo, important moments of his life on full display, all shared with Bobby and Marcy. With the parents who had genuinely loved and wanted him.

The last photo of his Mom had been taken the week before she died.

She was standing behind Buck on some random piece of playground equipment, arms wrapped around him as they both smiled at the camera, her belly heavy with his little brother who he had been so excited to meet and who, to this day, he grieved.

Carefully, Buck took the photo from the protection of its page, staring at his Mom’s face and he felt tears well up.

He kept hearing Margaret and Phillip Buckley calling him son.

Like they had any right to do so after what they had done to him.

He looked at Marcy Nash’s smiling face, saw the happiness in her eyes and could almost hear her telling him she loved him.

He remembered the warmth of her hugs and how she would roll her eyes fondly while fetching the first aid kit every time he’d pulled off some daring stunt that hadn’t quite worked out right. He remembered the brush of her kiss on his forehead and the way she would roll her R>/i>’s when reading him Treasure Island. He remembered gooey brownie batter at three in the morning when her pregnancy cravings kicked in. He remembered that last I love you, baby the day she was taken from him and his Dad.

Marcy Nash was his mother.

Had always been his mother.

Would always be his mother.

Drawing a deep breath, Buck turned, still holding that photo of him and his Mom, and grabbed the notepad and pen that Tim kept on the coffee table. He started jotting down ideas, the beginnings of a plan really, to deal with what he was labelling The Buckley Problem once and for all.

Buck’s appointment with Doctor Copeland went well and he felt a little less unbalanced afterwards.

She helped remind him that the Buckleys failed manipulations were a reflection of their failures, not his, and that it was good to establish boundaries with people he found toxic or problematic. Just like he had with Maddie.

When he’d explained his idea to her about how to deal with the Buckleys she had been surprised but supportive. Telling him that quickly establishing how things were going to work moving forward was a good step. That it would show the Buckleys that he was not going to be intimidated or manipulated. She suggested that he do it on neutral ground or somewhere he felt safe and, no matter where it happened, to have members of his support system with him as the conversation with his biological parents could easily, and quickly, break down.

He thought for a while after the session was over about where the best place was to confront the Buckleys and lay out the rules going forward.

There were restaurants and cafes a plenty in Los Angeles, lots of neutral ground, and he knew every single one of his friends and family would be there no matter what, but he didn’t want neutral ground.

He needed it to be somewhere he felt in control. Somewhere safe. Somewhere that he had only ever known support and love and that wouldn’t, couldn’t, be tainted by their mere presence.

Which was how he found himself calling Athena and asking her for a favour.

A favour she immediately agreed too.

After that call he sent a text to Maddie, telling her that if she and her parents wanted to talk he was willing but that everything would be on his terms.

He was only a little surprised that she agreed.

Seemed she wasn’t too worried about what his terms would be. No doubt she thought she was winning since he’d agreed to talk to her parents and everything.

She was going to be in for a surprise.

He told her to meet him on Sunday and sent her the address and a time to be there.

Next he sent Tim a text, explaining his plan as briefly as he could, and he wasn’t all that surprised when, mere minutes later, his cell rang.

“You think it’s a terrible idea,” he said by way of greeting and he could almost see the scowl on Tim’s face.

“I think if you think I’m letting you do this without me then you had best think again.”

Buck blinked.

“Lot of thinks in that sentence, babe.”

“Don’t try and be cute. Is this something you really want to do?”

“Want to do?” Buck let out a humourless chuckle. “No. No, not really. But I need to do it, Tim. I need to…to close this chapter of my life. And this is the only way I can think of to do it that really, really ends things.”

“You talk to your dad yet?”

“He’s coming over after work.”

“Good. Don’t be surprised when he’s less than thrilled at your news.”

“It’s my Dad, Tim, he might be grumpy about it for a while but he’ll be okay with it in the end.”

“Alright. If this is how you want to do things I’ve always got your back.”

“Thank you.”

“You never have to thank me for loving you, Evan.”

“You’re such a sap.”

“I’ll deny that to my dying day.”

Buck laughed then.

“Tell Lucy I said hi, yeah?”

It was Tim’s turn laugh.

“I will. Love you.”

“Love you too. Stay safe.”

“For you? Always.”

The call ended there and after a few minutes to let everything sink in Buck made his next call.

Wesley was surprised to hear from him but once he explained everything the other man readily agreed to help him however he could and assured him he’d have the paperwork he needed at the ready by Sunday.

“Is it really enough time for you,” Buck asked, not wanting Wesley to feel rushed or anything, especially not for something this important.

“Okay, so this is the time for me to be one hundred percent honest with you, Buck, I…may…have already started that particular paperwork back when you first told me about everything.”

Buck blinked.

“You what?”

“I know I overstepped,” Wesley was quick to admit. “And I know I shouldn’t have done it without talking to you first, and to be honest I only did the first half of what you’re asking for, but I’ve seen cases like yours before and I wanted to be able to help you immediately if you ever came to me for this sort of help. And I can tell you I’m not alone in that so I while I’m sorry I started the paperwork without your knowledge I am not sorry I did it because you’re my friend and I want to help you through this as best I can.”

Buck couldn’t help but smile.

He really did have one hell of a support system.

He’d have to tell Doctor Copeland about it during their next session.

“Wes, I’m not upset, okay?”

“You’re not?”

“No. I’m a little surprised but I’m not upset. I’m just happy everybody seems to have my back about this.”

“We all love you, Buck. You’d fight every battle possible for all of us so it’s only right and fair that we’re willing to do the same for you.”

“Thanks, Wesley.”

“Anytime, Buck. And I mean that. I’ll see you Sunday morning.”

“See you then, Wes. And thanks again.”

Buck felt as though another weight had lifted from his shoulders after the conversation with Wesley, like somehow the knowing that he wasn’t in this fight alone was helping to pull away the invisible shackles he felt like he had been carrying his entire life.

He spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning and getting things together for Sunday and what was sure to be a family get-together from hell, waiting for his Dad to drop by so they could talk, when, unexpectedly, he got a call from Daniel.

“Hey, Danny, what’s up?”

“What’s this I hear from Eddie that you’re planning some sort of sit down with my parents?”

Buck blinked.

And then…

“Tim squealed.”

“Damn right Tim squealed,” Daniel didn’t sound angry exactly, more annoyed maybe, but it was a near thing. “Did you really think he wouldn’t need to talk to Eddie about this?”

He really, really hadn’t thought of that in truth.

He should have.

But he hadn’t.

A miscalculation he would not repeat again.

“Does my Dad know?”

“From the way I could hear him cursing in the background? Yeah. I’d say that’s an affirmative.”

“Shit.”

Buck knew that if Bobby already knew he’d likely overheard part of Eddie and Tim’s conversation and had either pieced enough of it together to figure out what was going on or Eddie had folded like a paper bag under Bobby’s I am your damn Captain so start talking glare.

It was probably the latter.

“Yeah, shit, Buck.” Daniel huffed loudly. “Are you seriously going to put yourself through this? Giving my parents any sort of ground isn’t a good idea. It’s part of why I moved clear across the country for med school.”

“I understand your concern,” Buck said, mindful to use the phrases he and Doctor Copeland had worked on together earlier. “And I appreciate it, I really do, Dan, but I am a grown man and I am quite capable of deciding how to deal with people in my life that I do not want in it.”

There was a quiet pause and then Daniel sighed.

“You really did the work on this, huh? Really chewed down to the bone with it.”

“This wasn’t impulsive, Danny. Maybe…Maybe when I first said it to Doctor Copeland but then…then she helped me work through it. All the different aspects of it. And then…then I knew I had to do it. I need to do it. That chapter of my life needs an ending and this is the way I have to do it. So, please, please, please, Danny, try and understand.”

Daniel let out another sigh, softer than the last.

“I do understand,” he said softly. “I wish I didn’t but I do.”

There was silence again but Buck sensed Daniel was trying to find his words and remained silent until his brother was ready.

He didn’t wait long.

“Okay, Evan. I got your back.”

Just like that.

No more doubt.

No more questions.

Just an immediate acceptance and support.

“Thank you, Danny.”

“I’m sorry I went off like that,” Daniel said. “I just…saw how much last night upset you and I don’t want you to have to go through that again.”

“I won’t be. Because this time they won’t be ambushing me. They won’t have the upper hand. This time I’m in control. And I won’t exactly be alone.”

“Damn right you won’t be. Eddie and I will be there.”

“Danny…”

“You won’t talk me out of this. I am your brother and Eddie is your best friend. We. Will. Be. There.”

Buck sighed.

“Okay, okay, okay,” he relented. “You and Eddie will be there. Dad’s place on Sunday morning. Get there before ten.”

“We will.”

Buck heard a vehicle pull into the drive and a quick glance out the living room window revealed his Dad’s truck.

“Hey, my Dad just pulled in, so I got to…”

“Face the firing squad?”

“He won’t be that bad.”

“You did not hear what he was saying, Buck.”

“I don’t need to, I know him and I know that he…” The doorbell rang and Buck hurried to end the call. “Alright, goodbye, I’ll see you Sunday.”

“Good luck!”

Daniel’s parting shot was not missed and Buck drew a deep, calming breath before he went to open the door.

“Hey, Dad,” he greeted, smiling slightly, certain this was not the storm that Daniel had seemed certain was heading his way. “I…”

The look on Bobby’s face was sharp and dark and it sent a chill through Buck.

The only time he’d ever seen his father look like that was when, right after Mom had died and things were really, really bad, Aunt Amelia had tried to convince him to give her and Uncle Richard temporary custody of Buck. Whatever had been said after Grandma had shooed him to the other room he hadn’t seen Aunt Amelia and Uncle Richard in a long time after that.

He swallowed nervously.

“Dad, I…”

“I think we need to talk,” Bobby sounded calm but it was a controlled calm. “Don’t you, Evan?”

Chapter Text

“Hey, Dad,” Buck greeted as he opened the door, smiling slightly, certain this was not the storm that Daniel had seemed certain was heading his way. “I…”

The look on Bobby’s face was sharp and dark and it sent a chill through Buck.

The only time he’d ever seen his father look like that was when, right after Mom had died and things were really, really bad, Aunt Amelia had tried to convince him to give her and Uncle Richard temporary custody of Buck. Whatever had been said after Grandma had shooed him to the other room he hadn’t seen Aunt Amelia and Uncle Richard in a long time after that.

He swallowed nervously.

“Dad, I…”

“I think we need to talk,” Bobby sounded calm but it was a controlled calm. “Don’t you, Evan?”

Buck nodded and stepped back to let Bobby inside.

The chill he’d felt early followed them in through to the living room where Bobby sat in the arm chair before gesturing to the couch.

Buck did not care that he was pushing thirty or not. In that moment he was fifteen again and had just been brought home by the police after wiping out on his brand new dirt bike trying to jump something in a construction area.

Which meant he sat on the couch without a word.

Previous experience had taught him that, in moments like these, rare as they were, it was best to wait for Bobby to gather his thoughts and feelings and let his Dad talk first rather than try to jump right in and defend himself.

So Buck sat, silent, unmoving, looking at Bobby who just stared right back.

The seconds dragged by like hours before, after a long, deep breath, Bobby finally spoke.

“You’re planning to confront your birth parents.”

There was no question put forth but Buck nodded regardless. Still keeping silent.

“At the house I share with Athena and her kids.”

Another silent nod.

“The house that serves as a safe space for our entire family.”

Again he nodded.

“And you planned this all before talking to me about…any of it.”

Another nod.

“In fact, to my knowledge, I’m actually supposed to be the last to know.”

And another.

“So, Evan, I would appreciate it if you could explain to me exactly what makes you think I would let those people into my home or anywhere near you or our family.”

Buck swallowed nervously, hesitant for but a moment, before he began speaking.

“I’m seeing now I should have come to you first after talking about this with my therapist.”

“Thank you for acknowledging that.”

“And I’m sorry I didn’t.”

“But?”

“But I was worried you would try and talk me out of it. And…Look…I know this won’t make sense to you but I need to do this, Dad.”

“Need to.” Bobby gave a slow nod as he seemed to weigh the words. “You need to do this.”

Bobby sighed.

“I have loved and supported you and wanted nothing but the best for you since the day I first saw you at that group home, Evan, and I supported you through ever adventure and misstep. Even when everything in me was screaming to stop you and protect you.”

“And you’ll never know how much that means to me.”

Bobby blinked and looked at Buck silently for a moment before sighing and reaching out to take Buck’s hand.

“I’m not sure if I can be there for you this time, son.”

“Dad…”

“No, no, just…just listen.”

Buck gave a nod and all but clutched at his Dad’s hand as Bobby took a second to gather his thoughts.

“I am…angry. I am angry because I know if I’m in a room with Phillip Buckley again I’m likely going to end up punching him in the face, probably a lot, which is certainly not what either of us need.

I am angry, and hurt, that you thought you had to sneak around behind my back to get this meeting to happen because, even if I didn’t think I could handle being there, I would have helped you figure out what to do.

But, and this is the most important thing, Evan, I am so damn proud of you.”

Buck blinked, surprised, especially given that Bobby’s entire demeanour still screamed angry angry angry.

“You…You’re proud of me?”

“Of course I am. How could I not be? You’re finding your past, painful as it has turned out to be, and are taking control of what it means for your future and you’re doing it in a such a mature way.”

Bobby leaned forward and reached out then to take Buck’s hand.

“I am proud of you, Evan, and that matters more than my anger over the situation. It always will.” Bobby smiled softly at him. “Now, I can’t say with any certainty that I’ll be there on Sunday, not physically at least, but I can absolutely guarantee that I will be there for you afterwards if you need me.”

“Dad…”

“My anger over the situation, over how I was managed with it, does not overshadow my love for you, Evan. No matter what it never will. You are my son and I love you, Evan.”

“I love you too, Dad,” Buck replied softly, squeezing Bobby’s hand. “And I…I really am sorry I handled this how I did. I never meant to hurt you. I really didn’t.”

Bobby’s smile softened at that and some of the anger still brewing behind his eyes waned.

“I know you didn’t, Buck. But this is part of why communicating is so important. Especially given the situation, don’t you think?”

Buck nodded.

“I do. And I really am sorry, Dad. I’ll do better in the future.”

Bobby moved then, leaving the chair and joining Buck on the couch so he could pull his son into a hug.

“I know you will, kid. And just remember that I will always love and support you, okay? Mistakes and all. Heck, did I pack it in when you took off to find yourself or when you joined the fire academy despite my objections? And don’t get me started on half the stunts you pull on the job that damn near give me a heart attack and more grey hairs than a man my age should have.”

Buck laughed at that, hugging his Dad, head tucked against Bobby’s shoulder like he was a little kid again.

“I’m glad I got my point across,” Bobby continued with a grin before letting go of his son. “Now, tell me more about how you want to tackle Sunday because I’ve got a feeling the small affair you were planning may have been blown out of the water.”

Buck winced slightly.

“Yeah, I kind of gathered when Danny called.”

“That’s what happens when you have a big, loving family, Buck, we tend to circle the wagons when someone’s in a rough patch.”

That had Buck laughing again.

“And I’m grateful for that, I really am, I just…felt like I needed to handle this on my own.”

“Which we’ve established is not, nor was it ever going to be, the case. So, talk me through this all. In detail please. And we’ll figure out what role I am able to play in it all.”

Tim returned home after his shift knowing very well that he had one hell of an apology to make.

When he’d called Eddie earlier to vent about his boyfriend’s plan, a plan he still didn’t fully agree with but would go along with because it was what Buck needed of him, the last thing he’d expected was for Eddie to relay the information to Daniel and be overheard by Bobby in the process.

He had been planning to call Buck, to talk, to explain, but it was like the universe was trying to punishing him by throwing call after call at him and Chen until, two hours after their shift was technically over, he was finally able to get home.

It was late, Buck was likely sleeping, and Tim quietly made his way into the house.

He was surprised to see the light on in the living room.

More surprised to find Buck sitting on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket and watching a documentary about mushrooms.

“Hey,” he greeted softly, catching Buck’s attention, who immediately paused the program.

“Hey back.”

Buck smiled at him and Tim felt his heart skip a bit.

“I’m sorry,” Tim said quickly but honestly. “I never meant to let Bobby in on your plan before you were ready for him to know. I never thought that Eddie would…” He shook his head. “No. No, I just didn’t think period. I needed to talk about it and so I talked about it. I never stopped to consider that he would have to do the same. I am so, so sorry, baby.”

Buck was still smiling.

“Come here,” the younger man said, patting the couch beside him, remaining silent until Tim had sat down and he was able to wrap his arms around him.

“It’s not your fault,” Buck said. “I never should have put you in the position of keeping that secret. Not even for a few hours. I should have told my Dad right away.”

“Buck…”

“No, no, listen, okay? I messed up. I own that. Just like I own the fact that my mistake led to my Dad being upset and you clearly feeling stressed out and guilty for something that wasn’t your fault.

I should have talked to my Dad first. I should have trusted him and the strength of my relationship with him. Instead I let my own doubts and fears convince me that I had to talk to him last. That it was best. None of that is on you, okay?”

“I still should have waited to talk to Eddie about it.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. I didn’t exactly put you in the best position either.”

Tim sighed and wrapped his arms around Buck, hugging him close.

“I just feel like I put you in a bad place with your dad and I never want that.”

Buck’s smile never wavered.

“Things with Dad are fine,” he said. “He was upset but we talked it out. He isn’t happy to be hosting the Buckleys in his home, and he may not be able to handle being there himself while I hash things out with them, but he supports me. Anything else is just…I don’t know…confetti or something.”

That had Tim laughing softly while pressing his face against Buck’s shoulder.

“Confetti or something,” he repeated, feeling Buck’s quiet chuckle rather than hearing it. “I’m glad you and Bobby were able to talk things out.”

“Me too,” Buck said while rubbing a hand over Tim’s back. “What about you, though? This hasn’t been easy on you and I never thought to stop and…”

“Hey, no.” Tim’s head lifted and he met Buck’s gaze head on. “We agreed when you first starting searching for you bio family, remember? We were in this together. No matter what.”

“I know but…”

“No. No buts, Evan.”

Tim cupped Buck’s cheek.

“I may not always agree with your decisions but I will stand by you through whatever comes. Good or bad. You are my partner, possibly the love of my life, and, no matter what, I’m right here with you. Always.”

Buck’s smile turned sappy then and his eyes sparkled in the dim light.

“I’m the love of your life?”

Tim huffed.

Of course Buck only focused on that.

“Like I’m not yours.”

“I don’t know,” Buck teased. “There was that guy in…”

He laughed as Tim pushed him back and down on the couch, kissing him to stop what they both knew wasn’t the truth passing his lips.

“Brat,” Tim grunted between kisses and Buck, still laughing, felt a little breathless.

“You love me though.”

“Damn right I do.”

Buck laughed again and pulled Tim down into another kiss.

Chapter Text

Sunday morning found Buck little more than a ball of nervous energy.

He was certain, by the time they got in Tim’s truck, that his boyfriend was considering calling Bobby and Athena and telling them the whole thing was off.

Thankfully, Tim merely reached across the gap between them and took his hand, lacing their fingers together and giving a gentle, reassuring squeeze.

Buck wasn’t alone.

Not now.

Not ever.

It didn’t get rid of all his jitters but it helped.

Pulling up outside the Grant-Nash household revealed more cars than Buck had expected.

Walking in the house revealed exactly what Buck had expected upon seeing the cars.

Eddie, Chim and Hen were there, talking with Athena, and through the patio doors he could see Harry and Christopher with their water guns, giving chase after May and Denny.

While he was happy to see everyone, he was a little confused.

“Uh…what exactly is everyone doing here?”

“Decided you weren’t going to face this without the whole team,” Chimney said, clapping Buck on the shoulder. “We got your back Buckaroo.”

“We always will,” Hen agreed with a smile.

“It was actually Bobby’s idea,” Athena explained. “He said nothing would send the message of your family having your back like a big old family barbeque. The kids will be kept out in the yard when the Buckleys get here so they don’t overhear or see too much.”

“I’m on kid duty,” Eddie said with a grin. “With Chim and Hen. But Danny was told to give a wave if you guys need some backup.”

“Daniel’s here?”

“You didn’t really think you’d be doing this without everyone, did you?”

Buck turned to find Bobby walking in through the patio doors.

“Dad…”

“I know I said I didn’t know if I could be here or not,” Bobby said with a small smile. “But I realized I can’t let you face these people without me. I’m your dad.”

Buck did the only thing he could.

He hugged his Dad.

Bobby’s hug was tight and warm and conveyed all the love and support his Dad had always happily given him.

He hadn’t realized until just that moment how nervous he truly was.

Or how much Bobby’s mere presence helped settle some of those nerves.

“We got you, kid,” Bobby murmured against his ear. “I got you.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Buck whispered back before they parted.

“Why don’t you go spend some time with the kids, baby,” Athena said, touching Buck’s arm lightly. “Get some good energy for yourself before all the chaos starts.”

Buck nodded, grateful for what his friends and family were doing for him, and did exactly what Athena suggested.

The kids spotted him almost immediately, what with Christopher giving a loud cheer of Bucky!, and they all rushed to him to attempt and get him to join their game.

“Buck can’t go getting dirty right now, guys,” Michael called from his seat on the patio with Daniel and Karen. “After lunch maybe but not right now.”

Christopher, Harry and Denny groaned in disappointment, they loved when Buck played their version of tag, but May gave a nod of understanding before convincing the boys that instead of water gun tag they could just play regular tag instead for a while.

The trio of boys immediately decided that Buck was It and scattered.

The game went on for a while, Buck even doing his usual dramatics whenever he was tagged or when he was trying to tag someone, even going so far as to rope Daniel into a round of the game before, far too soon it seemed, Hen was calling out to him that Wesley was there.

Despite grumbles of protest, Buck headed back inside, leaving the kids in Daniel’s capable hands, not surprised that Chim stepped out into the garden to help occupy them further.

“Hey, Wesley,” Buck greeted his friend, and now his lawyer, with a smile. “Thanks for taking the time to do this. I really appreciate it.”

Wesley smiled.

“While I will accept your thanks I would like to point out that it is completely unnecessary because, as you should know by now, this is what friends do.”

Buck chuckled and stepped into the living room with Wesley to go over the papers the man had brought with him and what tactics would be best going forward.

“And if they won’t sign these,” Buck asked and Wesley gave a huff.

“If they’re smart and know what’s best for them they’ll sign but in the event they don’t we lay down the threat of harassment charges and in the morning I do that other thing we talked about.”

Buck nodded but his quietness must have given Wesley the wrong impression because his friend was quickly speaking again.

“If you’ve in any way changed your mind, Buck, that’s okay. Whatever happens is at your pace and, most importantly, completely up to you.”

“It’s not that.” Buck looked up and around at the people dotted about the house.

Tim, Eddie and Angela were all over by the dining room table, talking, while Hen and Athena were sitting at the table, sharing a coffee and chatting quietly, and he could hear Bobby in the kitchen, likely prepping whatever meal he planned to serve later.

“It’s just…after everything…it still doesn’t feel real sometimes, you know? There are days that I just keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

“And has it?”

Buck shook his head.

“Not once.”

He looked at Wesley again.

“I want to do this, Wesley. I need to do it. No matter what. I can’t…I won’t…live the rest of my life just waiting for the shoe that is the Buckleys to drop.”

He looked at Tim, who happened to glance over at him at the same time, and they exchanged smiles.

“I’m in the best place in my life, with the best possible people, to lay this demon to rest once and for all.”

“Amen to that, Buck.”

They shared a laugh and Wesley had just collected the papers back from Buck when the doorbell rang.

Athena was on her feet immediately.

“Alright,” she said. “Show time.”

Buck watched as Eddie, Hen and Chim headed outside while Daniel, Karen and Michael came inside.

Bobby, stiff and a little glowering, came out of the kitchen.

His gaze searched immediately for Buck as Athena went to answer the door.

Buck gave a nod and stood, crossing the room to where Tim was, needing to be closer to him, needing his support, and was not surprised when the man immediately wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him in close even as they heard Athena politely, if a little coolly, greet the Buckleys.

“Welcome,” she was saying. “I’m Athena Grant. Buck’s stepmom.”

He stiffened when he heard Maddie respond, introducing herself and her parents, and he leaned into Tim a little as Athena led the Buckleys into the house.

“Well, I hope you don’t mind we have a bit of a full house today,” Athena said with a sharp smile. “Sundays we usually have a barbeque and everybody comes over.”

“Oh, perfectly understandable,” Margaret replied with a polite smile. “Maddie wasn’t exactly certain what sort of get together this was but it’s nice to know we’re included.”

Athena blinked and Buck could see her biting back whatever retort she wanted to throw at Margaret.

“Please,” she said, gesturing to the dining room table. “Make yourselves comfortable. Can I get your anything to drink? Coffee? Juice?”

“How about some arsenic,” Tim muttered just loud enough for Buck to hear, earning a grin from his boyfriend and a gentle nudge to remind him to behave.”

Phillip and Margaret Buckley looked around in a way that clearly spoke of judging while Maddie was left to politely decline Athena’s offer.

“Alright then,” Athena said, still giving that fake, cheery smile. “Well, why don’t we all sit down and get things started, hmm?”

Phillip frowned.

“I assumed we would be speaking with Evan. Alone.”

“Well, you know what they say about assuming things, Dad,” Daniel was quick to jump in as he took a seat at the table. “Anyone else joining me?”

There was some quiet grumbling on the Buckley side of things but, soon enough, everyone was either seated or standing by the table.

Buck drew a deep breath and looked across at Maddie and her parents.

“I know you’re wondering what this meeting is about,” he started, only to be cut off rather quickly, and rudely, by Margaret.

“It’s so nice seeing you and Daniel getting along, Evan,” she sounded happy, excited even, and her smile looked like it hurt. “Isn’t it, Phillip?”

Phillip gave a nod but said nothing.

Buck sighed and exchanged a look with Tim before trying again.

“I wanted to meet with you because I need you to understand that…”

“You look so much like my father,” Margaret spoke over him again. “I don’t suppose you’d know that. Did Maddie send you pictures? She said she was going to send pictures but I don’t know that she did.”

“Mom,” Maddie hissed. “Now isn’t the time to…”

“This meeting,” Buck snapped, hating that he had to raise his voice a bit. “Is to establish some ground rules going forward.”

“Ground rules?” Margaret blinked, looking like she was confused. “What on earth would we need ground rules for?”

“How about we start with the fact that you just showed up without any sort of warning?”

“Oh,” Margaret gave a little, dismissive wave of her hand. “So we surprised you at work. That’s hardly a big deal. We do it with Maddie and Daniel so why would we be any different with you? Honestly, Evan, you really are making a mountain out of a mole hill.”

“You are making it sound worse than it is.” Phillip agreed with a nod. “I wouldn’t think us wanting to meet you and be in your life should require ground rules.”

“Seriously, Dad,” Daniel huffed and shook his head in disbelief. “That’s what you think?”

Buck groaned and scrubbed a hand over his face.

He had known this wouldn’t be easy but why were the Buckley parents being so purposefully difficult?

Why was this so difficult for them to grasp?

“This is going to get us no where,” he muttered, shaking his head, trying to think of what else to say when, thankfully, he was saved from having to do so.

“I believe this is where I come in,” Wesley said, stepping around to properly introduce himself and take control of the situation. “Wesley Evers. And aside from being Evan’s friend I also happen to be his lawyer in this situation though we had hoped I wouldn’t be a necessary evil. But, well, here we are.”

“Lawyer?” Maddie blinked and looked at Buck in confusion. “Why would Evan need a lawyer?”

“Mr Nash,” Wesley said, turned slightly, accepting a folder from Angela, who was grinning triumphantly. “Called this meeting to attempt and peacefully resolve the issues between all parties interested but upon realizing this to be a futile effort he has made the decision to retain legal council moving forward.”

Wesley pulled a few papers from the folder and laid them on the table, pushing them towards the Buckleys.

“These are no-contact agreements declaring that, upon leaving this meeting today, you will zero contact of any kind with my client, Evan Nash, unless it is initiated by my aforementioned client.”

Phillip snatched up the papers, quickly scanning them, while Margaret still looked like she couldn’t understand why any of this was happening.

“Evan,” Maddie said. “Evan, why are you doing this?”

Buck did not answer.

Wesley had told him earlier that once they started down this path to not address any of the Buckleys directly. That Wesley, acting as Buck’s lawyer, would handle it.

“Mr Nash is establishing the boundary he has been trying to establish, Miss Buckley, with you and your parents. A boundary that all three of you have demonstrated a grand wilfulness to completely ignore.”

“We haven’t done anything wrong!”

Margaret sounded like she completely believed what she was saying.

“Showing up, without warning, to his place of employment, thus affecting his ability to properly carry out the duties of his profession is not wrong? Mr Nash’s profession requires him to save peoples lives, Mrs Buckley, did you not think your just popping in for the first time in, what, over two decades would not affect my client poorly?”

“He’s the one who found Maddie,” Margaret retorted. “He wanted to find us.”

“Yes, and the only reason he even found your daughter was because of a DNA website that matched them as siblings. His communications with your daughter were not an open invitation to you and your husband. Especially not after Mr Nash cut contact with Miss Buckley upon discovering that, despite multiple assurances from her, she was less than truthful with him.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean,” Phillip finally spoke, glaring at Wesley, who remained calm and collected but Daniel beat him to the punch.

“She lied, Dad. To Evan and to me. You all did. For years.” Daniel sounded like he couldn’t believe his family didn’t understand any of that. “And you’re acting like there shouldn’t have to be consequences for that. That us no longer wanting contact with any of you is so surprising when, really, it shouldn’t be.”

“Us,” Margaret whispered, looking at Daniel with wide eyes. “What do you mean us?”

Daniel looked at Wesley, who nodded, before answering.

“I’m not going to the same lengths as Buck, not yet, but after today, unless I reach out to one of you, I don’t want you contacting me for a while. I need time to come to terms with what you did and what kind of people that makes you.”

“But you’re sick,” Margaret started, likely thinking playing that card would work, but Daniel was having none of it.

“I,” he snapped. “Have the best medical care possible. I have an excellent support system. I am not a child anymore and I can manage my own damned cancer with you hovering like an overprotective mother hen or trying to convince me to manipulate my baby brother into doing something I do not expect from him just because we share some DNA.”

Margaret looked as though Daniel had slapped her and though he felt bad for hurting her he knew this had to be done.

“So,” he continued. “No contact. Until I decide. Period.”

“Daniel,” Phillip started but Daniel shook his head and stood.

“I need a few minutes,” he said as he looked at Wesley. “Continue without me.”

Buck watched his brother slip out through the patio doors and into the backyard where, almost immediately, he was greeted with hugs and love from the Diaz boys. Confident his brother was in the best possible hands, Buck gave Wesley a nod to keep going.

Wesley cleared his throat to get the attention back on him, laying some pens on the table.

“So, Mr and Mrs Buckley, Miss Buckley, you have been presented with a choice. You can sign the agreements or not. The choice is yours but I believe it’s been made clear what will happen regardless moving forward.”

Buck was surprised when Maddie took a pen and signed the agreement, pushing it back across the table to Wesley while looking at Buck.

“I never meant to hurt you, or Daniel,” she said softly. “I just…I thought I was doing the right thing.”

Buck did not reply, merely watched as Wesley picked up the papers.

“Thank you, Miss Buckley,” he said politely, passing the papers to Karen. “Mrs Wilson, would you please sign as witness.”

Karen nodded and did so before passing it back.

“Thank you.” He tucked one copy into his folder and passed the other back to Maddie before focusing on Phillip and Margaret.

“Well, Mr and Mrs Buckley,” he prodded. “What’s it going to be?”

Phillip Buckley looked as though he had been forced to swallowed curdled milk as he shoved his set of papers back across the table.

“We’re not signing these. It’s ridiculous.”

“Mrs Buckley?”

Wesley needed to know from Margaret herself what her position on the matter.

And, as he’d suspected, she was in perfect agreement with her husband.

“I’m not signing,” she said to Wesley before looking at Buck. “Evan, please, this is completely unnecessary. All of it. I’m your mother, Evan.”

“No.”

Buck snapped, unable to stop himself, not caring in that moment what he’d agreed with Wesley. He was not going to sit there and listen to Margaret Buckley claim to be his mother.

He stood, calmly, and crossed the room to the table where the family photographs were kept, picking up an old wooden frame that had graced that table since the Grant-Nash family had become a proper family and that had been long before Athena and Bobby finally figured this out.

Crossing back to the table, he all but slammed the photograph down in front of Margaret.

A photograph of him and his Mom.

“That,” he snarled. “Is my mother. And from the first moment she met me I was her son. Her name was Marcy. Was. Because some asshole took her from me and my Dad.”

Buck pointed then to Athena.

“Athena has been more my mother than you will ever hope to be. And you know what? Just like my Mom she didn’t have to do any of the stuff she’s done for me.

She didn’t have to love me. She didn’t have to claim me as her own. She didn’t have to make me part of her family and give me the best little sister and brother in the world or introduce me to the best second dad a guy could hope for, but she did. She made a place in her life, in her family, for my Dad and I. And I love her for it. I love her like I loved my Mom because in my heart that’s who she is. She’s my other mom.

So you can keep saying you’re my mother all you want but you’re not. You never were. And you never will be. And I don’t need, or want, you or your husband or your toxicity in my life. I’m done with you.”

Buck stepped away from the table, not surprised that Tim was right there to wrap an arm around him, quietly asking if he was okay, if he wanted to go, but Buck merely leaned into him and shook his head.

“I think you should leave,” Bobby said as he stood from his seat, eyes hard and cold as he glared at the Buckleys.

“You can’t…” Phillip started but Michael, glaring, nostrils flared, was standing now, hands planted firmly on the table as he leaned towards the other man.

“You heard my partner,” Michael growled. “You clearly have no intention of respecting our son’s wishes, or Daniel’s, so you’re free to leave our home. Now.”

“Please,” Margaret pleaded, looking at Buck. “Please, you can’t do this! We’re your family, Evan! And Daniel…Daniel needs your help whether he wants to admit it or not. You’re a perfect match and…”

“Enough!”

Maddie’s voice rang loud and angry and shaky in a way that spoke of unshed tears.

She was practically vibrating in her seat as she looked at her parents.

“Enough,” she said again, voice still emotional but firm. “That’s enough. Can’t you see that this is exactly why my brothers don’t want anything to do with us?! Can’t you see that you’re just making everything worse?! And I’m just as much to blame as the both of you!

I’ve always just followed along. Done what I was told or what was expected of me. That’s part of why I stayed with Doug longer than I should have. It’s why I just kept lying to Daniel and Evan.

I justified my choices by telling myself I knew best because I actually knew the truth or because I was the eldest. And that’s just not true. I’m not a good person in any of this. And neither are either of you!”

Maddie stood then, picking up her purse, looking at Bobby and Athena, who were now standing side-by-side. A wonderful picture of unity.

“I am so sorry for bringing this to your home,” she said, blinking back her tears. “I am…I am so sorry for disrupting your lives. For…For causing Evan so much hurt and upset. I…I really did think I was doing the right thing.”

She looked at her parents then.

“I’m leaving. Now. And in the morning I’m flying home. Now, are you coming with me? Because if you stay I will not be posting bail if they call the police to drag you out of here.”

Margaret pursed her lips and Phillip exchanged a glare with Bobby.

“I want you both to understand,” Wesley quickly spoke up, wanting to make things undeniably clear. “If you leave without signing the agreements any future contact you take with my client will be regarded as harassment and will be reported to the police as such.”

The air was full of tension as, slowly, the Buckley parents stood.

“We’re not signing,” Phillip reaffirmed and Wesley gave a sharp nod, hiding a smirk behind a cool mask of calm.

“Well, alright then,” Athena said, giving Phillip and Margaret a look she usually reserved for the worst criminals. “That means you can get the hell out of my house. And don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”

Maddie breathed out a sigh of what might have been relief, giving a nod before taking hold of her mother’s arm and walking her towards the front door while Phillip trailed behind.

Of course, Phillip Buckley could not leave with on final parting shot.

One aimed at Bobby with a scowl.

“I don’t know why you care so much. He’s hardly worth it. And it’s not like he’s your real son.”

Chapter Text

“I don’t know why you care so much. He’s hardly worth it. And it’s not like he’s your real son.”

The words hung heavy in the air and the tension left in their wake was heavy enough to be felt by all present.

It was easy to forget sometimes, given his normally calm and relaxed demeanour, but Bobby was actually quite quick and ferocious when the time called for it.

But he quickly reminded everyone of it when he stepped around the corner of the table, closed the distance between himself and Phillip Buckley and proceeded to land a savage haymaker to the other man’s jaw, staggering him several steps.

Chaos erupted.

Margaret shouted in surprise and rushed to her husband’s side while Michael grabbed hold of Bobby, a little worried he would do worse, and Athena moved to stand between the Buckleys and her husband.

“Son of a bitch,” Phillip spat, glaring at Bobby as he righted himself, hand pressed to his jaw where, no doubt, a bruise would later form. “Margaret, call the police.”

Margaret nodded and started digging for her phone when Athena and Angela both snorted a laugh.

“You have three police officers in this room,” Athena pointed out with a huff. “Not to mention a lawyer. Do you really think a battle of he said, he said is going to fly? Especially not when you’re in my house.”

“He assaulted me! I have every right to press charges!”

“Go ahead,” Bobby growled, voice low and dangerous as he practically vibrated in Michael’s hold. “It’s going to take the nearest unit at least twenty minutes to get here. How much more do you think I can do in twenty minutes?”

Phillip paled at the threat but it was Margaret who replied.

“You can’t just attack my husband! It was unprovoked and…”

“Unprovoked? Un-fucking-provoked?!”

Bobby’s voice rose with every word he spoke.

“He comes into my home, insults my son, and then has the nerve to tell me that Evan isn’t my real son? After what the two of you fucking did?!”

“Calm down, Bobby,” Michael muttered, struggling to keep Bobby back, especially when part of him wanted nothing more than to just let go and let him finish what he’d started. “Just calm down.”

“That’s enough,” Athena snapped, refusing to let this nonsense carry on any longer. “There are children out in the backyard and I will not have them seeing or hearing any of this.

Now, Mr Buckley, if you want to press charges then I suggest you take your ass out of my house and make your call. If not, well, you can still take your ass, and your bitch of a wife, out of my fucking house before I decide to drag you out by your balls.”

Phillip looked like he was going to press the issue but, in the end, he turned and all but drug Margaret out of the house.

Maddie hesitated and glanced at Buck briefly before looking at Athena.

“I am so sorry,” she said. “This…None of this should have happened.”

And then she looked at Bobby.

“Please, please do not think for a second that what my father said has any meaning or that…that anyone would believe him. You are Evan’s father. You. And from what I’ve seen you are a great father.”

She gave another quiet apology on behalf of her parents and then was gone.

And as the door closed behind the Buckleys a collective sigh of relief whispered through the Grant-Nash house.

Buck sat on the patio, watching the kids chase Eddie and Chim with their water guns, trying to process what exactly had happened earlier.

He still couldn’t believe his Dad had punched Phillip.

Part of him wished Bobby had landed more than one punch.

He didn’t know if that made him a bad person or not.

Just one more thing to add to the ever growing list of things to talk to Dr Copeland about.

He was pulled from his thoughts by Tim walking over and sitting in the chair across from him.

“Hey,” Tim spoke softly, reaching out to take Buck’s hand in his. “You okay?”

“I…”

Buck bit back the reflexive I’m fine and sighed, shaking his head, squeezing Tim’s hand.

“Honestly? No. No, I’m not okay. Today was a lot and I…I know I wanted to do it I just…I thought things would go differently, you know?”

“I know you did, babe, but sometimes the best laid plans don’t work out.” Tim rubbed his thumb over Buck’s knuckles. “The question is, what happens now?”

Buck drew a deep breath.

“I actually talked to Wesley about that before he and Angie left,” he explained. “He’s going to be reaching out to some people in the morning and getting back to me.”

Tim frowned slightly.

“What people?”

“Can…Can we…Can we maybe go talk to Dad and Athena about that? I don’t want them out of the loop on this.”

Tim nodded.

“Of course.”

They stood together and went inside in search of Bobby and Athena, finding them in the kitchen with Michael.

“Hey, boys,” Athena greeted them. “Everything okay?”

Bobby, having been prepping the steaks, stilled and looked up at his son, silently searching for something.

“Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine,” Buck was quick to reassure her. “I just…I need to talk to you both. About what’s going to happen going forward with…with the Buckleys.”

Bobby tensed, which had Michael immediately rubbing a hand over his shoulder comfortingly.

“Do you want me to step out, Buck,” Michael asked but Buck shook his head.

“No, no you can stay, you’re basically my other dad so you should know what’s going on.”

Tim wrapped his arm around Buck, sensing he needed the physical support, and felt Buck relax ever so slightly.

“So,” Buck continued, fidgeting with his fingers as he spoke. “I talked to Wesley and…and he’s going to reach out to the district attorneys in Hershey and St Paul.”

Athena frowned and exchanged a look with Bobby and Michael.

“Why would he do that,” Bobby asked.

“He was reading some stuff that…well, I don’t understand all the legal jargon he used but the short of it is that he’s pretty convinced we can get the Buckleys prosecuted for child abandonment and possibly child endangerment.”

Bobby’s eyes went wide and Michael gripped his arm, no doubt feeling how Bobby was trembling.

“Evan…” Bobby’s voice cracked and Buck, always assuming the worst, quickly talked over his Dad.

“I know it’s been a long time and Wesley said the DAs may not even choose to prosecute after all this time but he said it’s worth a shot and if it doesn’t work there’s always civil court which would reveal to all their friends and family just what sort of person they are and…and given what they’ve done and they’re refusal to try and respect me or my boundaries or…or even to just try and be decent people I can’t…I just…I know I always said it didn’t matter, that I didn’t care, but I…I can’t let them get away with what they did any longer. Especially not when they’re choosing to act like it was no big deal and…”

Buck’s words turned into a squeak as he suddenly found himself wrapped up in Bobby’s arms.

“I am so proud of you,” Bobby said softly, hugging him tight. “So fucking proud.”

Buck blinked, surprised to find tears blurring his vision, as he hugged his Dad back.

Bobby stepped back, one hand gripping Buck’s arm and the other cupping his cheek like he used to when Buck was little.

“You’ve come so far,” Bobby said, his own eyes shining with unshed tears. “Grown up so much. If this is what you want to do then I am behind you all the way. Always.”

“We all are,” Athena added and Michael quickly agreed.

“The Buckleys didn’t know what they were giving up,” Athena continued with that warm, loving smile she used only for her kids. “But their loss is our gain.”

“Damn right,” Michael said. “No matter what happens, Buck, you’re our kid and you will always have us.”

“We love you, Buck,” Tim said next to him. “Everyone in this house and out in the garden. We love you and we’re not going anywhere.”

The tears started falling then and Buck gave a shaky nod, not surprised when he was enveloped not only in a hug from his Dad but from Tim and Athena and Michael.

This, this was his family, all patched together and bound with love and acceptance and support.

Chapter Text

Phillip and Margaret Buckley, after the disastrous meeting with Evan, stayed in Los Angeles for another week, trying to work out what to do now.

They had tried reaching out to Daniel but their eldest son, true to his word, would not speak to or see them and when they’d tried visiting him at work had been informed by one of his co-workers that he had given strict instructions to all staff and security that they were unwelcome and should be escorted out of the hospital.

When they complained to Maddie, who had flown home the morning after the meeting with Evan, she had been unsympathetic and asked them what they expected. She told them that Daniel, and Evan, had made it very clear what they expected going forward and that Phillip and Margaret should accept it and just come home.

Phillip had considered going back to the fire house where Evan worked but Margaret reminded him that he had threatened legal action if they did anything he considered harassment.

So, after a week of not making headway on any fronts, they returned to Hershey.

Where they were greeted, at their front door, in full view of all their neighbours, by a local sheriff and deputy.

“Mr and Mrs Buckley,” the sheriff asked and Phillip, frowning, nodded.

“Yes. I’m sorry, officers, but has something happened?”

“Oh God,” Margaret gasped. “Is it Maddie? Has something happened to our daughter?”

“No, ma’am,” the sheriff said. “I’m here in regards to your son.”

“Oh my God.” Margaret clutched at her pearls. “Has…Has something happened to Daniel?”

The sheriff frowned and shook his head.

“No, ma’am. I’m here about your other son. Evan Nash?”

“Oh, now what,” Phillip spat. “We left him alone. We haven’t called or tried to visit. He’s no reason to send you here about harassment when we haven’t done anything.”

The deputy’s eyebrow rose and he let out a sound.

“Sir,” the deputy spoke now. “We’re not here concerning any harassment.”

“Then what, exactly, are you doing here?”

“The abandonment, neglect and endangerment of your son.”

Phillip reared back slightly and Margaret let out a sound like she was being strangled.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Phillip was quick to retort, shaking his head. “And I’m done talking to you without out lawyer present.”

“That is your legal right, sir,” the sheriff said. “But until then I’m afraid you’re going to have to come to the station with us.”

“We’re not going anywhere with you until we speak to our lawyer!”

“Mr Buckley, we have a warrant. It would be better for yourself and your wife to come willingly.”

“I don’t care if you’ve got a presidential order,” Phillip barked while Margaret went pale and wide eyed. “Until I speak with my lawyer we are not going anywhere with you.”

“Very well, Mr Buckley,” the sheriff said, pulling the handcuffs from his belt, his deputy following suite. “Phillip Buckley, Margaret Buckley, you are both under arrest for the abandonment and endangerment of your son, Evan Nash. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can, and will, be used against you in a court of law. Do you understand these rights as I have given them to you?”

“Of course I understand,” Phillip snarled. “But you’ve got everything wrong and I am not…get your damn hands off me!”

From across the street and next door, the neighbours of Phillip and Margaret Buckley watched, surprised and curious, as the pair were put in handcuffs and loaded into the backs of two police cars.

Gossips, as gossip did, spread throughout the community before the pair could even be fully processed at the police station and, at the local hospital, Maddie had just finished with a patient when Mick, one of her friends and co-workers, came rushing up to her.

“Oh my gosh, Maddie, what happened?!”

Maddie blinked, confused, handing her patient chart to the nurse behind the nurses station.

“I’m sorry? What are you talking about?”

Mick blinked.

“Oh, gosh, you don’t know.”

“Clearly not. What is going on?”

“Oh, honey.”

Mick pulled her aside to a quiet corner and then proceeded to drop the bombshell on her.

“Everyone is saying your parents got arrested this morning. You really didn’t know?”

Maddie swore the bottom dropped out of her stomach.

“Arrested?”

Mick nodded and told her what little he had heard and all the while Maddie’s head was spinning.

She knew, from a text from her mother, that her parents had arrived back in Pennsylvania that early that morning and that they were on their way home to Hershey but she’d never gotten any other messages so she’d just assumed her parents had been tired after the flight and her mother would reach out later.

But why, why had they been arrested?

What on earth could have happened?

“Apparently,” Mick was saying and Maddie tried to focus solely on what her friend was saying to her. “The cops had been there every day for like…the last two days.”

“Two days?”

Maddie shook her head, unable to believe what she was hearing.

“No. No, there’s no…why on earth would my parents be arrested?”

Mick shrugged and gave her a sympathetic look.

“I’m sorry, honey, I don’t think anyone really knows yet.”

“Which is why you came to me.”

Mick shrugged again.

“Yeah.” He shuffled his feet a bit. “I am sorry. I had no idea you didn’t know.”

Maddie let out a soft sound.

What on earth could have possibly happened?

“I…I need to go make a couple of calls,” she said, trying to figure out who exactly she should call. “I need to find out what’s going on.”

“Of course. You go ahead. I’ll cover for you.”

“Thanks, Mick.”

Maddie hurried off to the break room and, once there, first called Frank, the lawyer her father had used for years, only to learn that he had left the office after receiving a call from her father. Which meant her parents at least had proper legal representation. The next call she made was to the sheriff station, hoping someone could tell her what was going on, only to be politely informed that while they could confirm her parents had been arrested they could not divulge any further information.

Growing frustrated with the lack of answers, Maddie did something she had promised not to do.

She called Daniel.

And by some miracle he answered.

“Hello?”

“Daniel! Oh, Daniel, please, please don’t hang up!”

Daniel sighed, sounding annoyed but unsurprised and Maddie wondered if he’d just been waiting for her to break the rules of their current arrangement.

“What is it, Maddie? I’m a little busy.”

Which was why he had answered the phone.

He probably hadn’t even looked at the caller ID.

“It’s about Mom and Dad.”

Daniel sighed again and Maddie could almost see the way he pinched the bridge of his nose. It was a habit he’d always had when frustrated.

“Maddie, I don’t mean to sound harsh but unless they’re dead or something happened I don’t care and I really need to get back to…”

“They’ve been arrested, Daniel!”

The line went quiet.

Quiet enough she could hear a voice, a child’s voice, in the background asking: Are you okay, Danny?.

Whatever Daniel said in response to that was muffled, his hand likely over the phone, and then he was speaking to her again.

“Is that all, Maddie?”

“Is…Is that all?”

“Yes, Maddie, is that all? Because, again, I’m busy.”

She couldn’t believe him right now.

“Daniel, I just told you our parents were arrested and you…you ask if that’s all and I’m busy? Seriously?”

Daniel was quiet again, quiet for long enough that something clicked for her.

“You already knew.”

Daniel sighed, long and heavy.

“Yes.” He did not sound upset in the least. “Yes, I knew a few days ago that they were probably going to be arrested.”

“A few days…”

“Look, Maddie, I’m sorry you’re dealing with alone right now but you…you made your bed. Just like they did. And now they’re going to suffer the consequences. Now, I’m sorry, but I really have to go now. Don’t call again unless something really bad happens, okay?”

“Daniel, wait!”

But the call ended and she was left staring at a blank phone screen.

He had known.

Daniel had known, days ago by his own admission, that their parents were going to be arrested.

He had known and hadn’t even had the grace to give her a heads up.

But why?

Why would he know and why wouldn’t he care?

What could possibly have happened…

And then it hit her.

With enough shocking force that it had her stumbling to the nearest chair and dropped heavily into.

Evan.

Whatever had happened involved Evan.

It had to.

And, since her parents hadn’t exactly left Los Angeles in a hurry, she knew it couldn’t have anything to do with anything that had happened there.

Which meant…

Maddie felt nauseas.

Daniel had said their parents had made their bed and were now going to suffer the consequences.

Tears prickled her eyes and she pressed a hand over her mouth as though to physically hold in the sob threatening to burst forth.

Evan had reported what Phillip and Margaret had done to him all those years ago.

He was seeking justice.

And, from how things looked, he was definitely going to get it.

Chapter Text

When his boss had laid the Buckley case file on his desk, Special Prosecutor Peter Dutton had questioned it, naturally, given that he had just wrapped up a case in southern Pennsylvania.

The answer he received?

Judge Theodore Wayne, down in Hershey, had requested a special prosecutor as he and his local prosecutor were seeking to avoid any accusation of conflict of interest given that all three local prosecutors personally knew both of the accused in the case.

His boss’ parting remark about the case though had been more compelling than the explanation as to why Peter was being given the case.

“It’s your area of expertise.”

Reading the case file revealed that, yes, indeed, this was his area of expertise.

Child abandonment and endangerment.

It was no wonder his boss had brought the case to him.

Being an abandonment case himself, Peter, once he became a lawyer, became, to quote his co-workers, something of a dog with a bone when it came to cases similar to his own.

And the case of Evan Nash was such a case.

Abandoned, age of three, at a bus station several states away.

After, it had later been discovered, his parents had chosen to have him as a saviour child for their other son who, at the time, suffered from juvenile leukemia.

Peter was, naturally, disgusted.

He reached out to the District Attorney in St Paul, Minnesota named on the paperwork, a Valerie Bly, wanting to see what her office was planning to do and was quite pleased to learn that she planned on prosecuting the Buckleys to the full extent of the law. She didn’t care that it had been over twenty years. She saw leaving Evan Nash in that bus station, wilfully putting a toddler in harms way, as despicable and didn’t care what the verdict would be. She wanted to send the clear message that what the Buckleys had done would not be tolerated by her office or the state of Minnesota.

He suggested they prosecute the Buckleys in a single trial but wasn’t surprised when Bly said no.

He understood completely that she wanted the Buckleys to be fully prosecuted in both Pennsylvania and Minnesota.

He thanked her for her time and got to work preparing his case.

There was little investigation that he needed to do.

The St. Paul police and CPS had done an excellent job with their investigations. The private investigation carried out by Evan Nash’s lawyer had provided the missing pieces that, two decades ago, could not be found given that Phillip and Margaret Buckley had gone to such great lengths to hide the fact that they had abandoned their youngest son.

It was, in his mind, what would be considered an open and shut case.

The Buckleys would never, as far as he was concerned, be able to justify what they had done.

And so, with everything in order, Peter left for Hershey.

The area was quaint, he found. The sort of community one saw on a postcard back in the day.

He spoke with the local prosecutors and police first, wanting to get a lay of the land, especially considering the police report in the file regarding the arrest of the Buckleys. He was not surprised to learn that the Buckleys denied everything, had even tried to claim that their son had gone missing during a family trip, but given no police report of a missing child could be found for their son it had hardly held water and would certainly never hold up in court.

Peter hadn’t been surprised when, later that same day, the Buckleys lawyer, Frank Palmer, reached out to him asking to meet and discuss the case.

Frank Palmer, Peter found during the course of that meeting, was a nice enough man. He had, by his own admission, known the Buckleys for years, though he claimed to not know of their third child until Phillip Buckley had called him down to the local police station after the initial arrest of him and his wife.

Frank had hinted that the Buckleys, given the illness and uncertain future of their elder son, had not been fully aware of what their actions meant. That, under normal circumstances, nothing like this would have ever happened.

Peter had not been swayed.

And he made that clear.

Perhaps a little more aggressively than was necessary but he wanted the defence attorney to understand he was not there to make friends or play nice.

The Buckleys had broken numerous laws. And, in the process of doing so, endangered the life of a toddler. Their own son.

There would be no deal of any kind so long as Peter was prosecuting and he rather enjoyed watching the way Frank’s face fell when he was told that.

He wanted the Buckleys to feel the full weight of the legal system they had dodged for years and no attempt at painting them as mentally ill or under unimaginable stress at the time would persuade him otherwise.

Evan Nash deserved better than that.

Judge Theodore Wayne seemed to be of a similar mindset as he set the trial to begin by week’s end.

It was the day before the trial was set to start when Peter got to meet Evan Nash.

They met in the makeshift office Peter had been given at the courthouse and, not surprisingly, the young man did not come alone. The two men with Evan were introduced as Bobby Nash, Evan’s father, and Tim Bradford, Evan’s partner.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you all,” Peter said politely. “Though I am sorry it is under such circumstances. Please, take a seat.”

Once everyone was seated, Peter leaned forward, resting his elbows against his desk, looking only at Evan.

“Evan…” He hesitated a moment. “I’m sorry, it’s it alright if I call you Evan?”

“I prefer Buck.”

Peter nodded.

“Buck.” He smiled a bit. “Buck, I want you to know that no matter what happens during the trial, no matter the outcome, I and my office are completely on your side.”

Buck nodded.

“Thank you,” he replied. “I…I’m grateful for what everyone has done. I honestly didn’t really think it would come to a trial. It’s been so long.”

“That doesn’t mean you don’t deserve justice,” Peter reassured. “What was done to you was wrong and I understand how hard it can be to overcome that sort of trauma.”

Buck’s expression told him that the younger man didn’t believe him and Peter, like he did with every child abandonment case he worked, offered up that painful piece of his own past.

“I was six when my mom left me in a park in Pittsburgh. A homeless woman found me and took me to a shelter. The authorities never did find her.”

Buck’s eyes widened a bit and, slowly, Peter could see some of the carefully built walls around the younger man start to come down.

“You…You were like me?”

Peter nodded.

“I bounced through the foster system until I aged out. But I think I landed on my feet pretty well. I think we may have that in common, don’t you?”

Buck smiled ever so slightly.

“I’m glad you can understand how hard this is,” he said and Peter gave another nod.

“Now, I understand you intend to be present during the trial and I just wanted to meet and walk you through what may or may not happen during the process so that you are as prepared as you can be.”

They spent almost an hour talking. First Peter explained that the Buckleys had been charged with a third-degree felony, the highest charge for child abandonment in Pennsylvania, which meant the Buckleys could, depending on the judge, face up to seven years in prison. Peter also made certain to go over what could potentially happen during the trial, such as what tactics the defence would likely use given the situation. And he laid out how he planned to handle each possibility so that Buck and his family were ready no matter what was said.

Peter expressed his belief that the case should only take a couple of days as the evidence was quite clear cut no matter what the defence tried and when he asked Buck if he had any questions the only thing the younger man wanted to inquire about what, if anything, would happen to his sister.

It had taken Peter by surprise but he answered as honestly as he could.

Peter told him that was out of his hands, that the local prosecutors would, likely after the verdict of the trial of the Buckley parents, determine what, if any, action to take against Maddie Buckley. But he also expressed his personal belief that, given she was a child herself at the time of Buck’s abandonment, she wouldn’t face any sort of charges.

Buck had seemed satisfied enough with that answer and, shortly after, he and his companions left.

The next morning he met Buck, Tim and Bobby outside the courtroom.

“Buck,” he greeted, shaking Buck’s hand. “Good morning. How are you feeling?”

“Nervous.” Buck was holding tight to Tim’s hand and Tim looked every bit the loving and protective boyfriend he probably was. “Is it bad that I just want this to be over with?”

“Not at all,” Peter reassured. “And if you feel that you need to leave at any point, please, do not hesitate to do so. Your wellbeing is more important than the judge or anyone else seeing you sitting in that room, do you understand?”

Buck nodded and Peter looked at Bobby.

“Mr Nash, I’m going to give you the same advice. If for any reason you find yourself unable to handle being in there it would be better for you to leave. I know you want to support your son but some of the things that may be said or claimed could be upsetting and…”

“And you don’t need any outbursts,” Bobby was quick to say. “I understand, Mr Dutton.” He looked at his son. “But you won’t have to worry. My sole purpose today is to support my son.”

Peter smiled, glad to hear that, and happily led the way into the courtroom.

The trial took three days.

Two days for presentation of the case and another day for Judge Wayne to make his decision.

Peter laid out all the evidence, painting the Buckleys as exactly what they were.

Parents who abandoned the child they had purposely had to save their sick son. Parents who clearly hadn’t cared about the safety of the child they were abandoning or else why would they have left him in a bus station with nothing but a backpack and a note. Parents who knew what they were doing was not only illegal but immoral because they had driven all the way to Minnesota to make sure they were never caught. But they had been caught. Because their oldest son had gotten sick again. And so their daughter, who had been forced to keep their secret for years, had started searching for the child they had thrown away. A child who, as it turned out, had started looking for them.

Frank Palmer had tried, as much as he was able, to defend Phillip and Margaret Buckley. To portray them as stressed out parents struggling with their oldest son’s illness and potential death and that, under the weight of that stress, they had acted rashly and completely out of character.

When Evan Nash had stood up and given his victim impact statement, he had surprised even Peter when he told Judge Wayne he wanted to thank the Buckleys. He thanked them because, as he claimed, they gave him a better life. They gave him parents who loved him. Family and friends who supported him and didn’t care about his past or that he’d only been born to save his brother. They gave him everything by giving him nothing and that he wanted nothing from them but to be done with them. That his life had been, and would continue to be, better without them.

So when the call came that Judge Wayne was ready to deliver his verdict, Peter had walked into that courtroom like he owned it because, he knew, there was no possible way that the Buckleys would get away with what they had done.

And he was not disappointed.

“In my career,” Judge Wayne said once everyone was settled and listening. “I have tried many cases. This one is not special in any regard beyond the…the length of time it has taken for the victim to find justice.

I have heard the evidence and statements of the witnesses and I must say I struggled a bit over what judgement to make.”

He sighed and looked at the Buckleys.

“Mr and Mrs Buckley, I feel it would be remiss not to tell you how…absolutely disgusted I am by what you did. Having a child for the sole purpose of saving your sick son is…questionable at best but not illegal. Leaving that child, however, alone, in a different state, to suffer God only knows what fate is another matter entirely.”

He looked then to Buck.

“Mr Nash, I am sorry that your childhood was rocked by such a traumatic event but I am glad to know that you have found a loving and supportive family. I only wish that all children were so lucky.”

Drawing a deep breath, Judge Wayne looked at the overall room again.

“With that said, I would like Mr and Mrs Buckley to understand that, given they are charged with a third-degree felony I would be well within my rights to see they serve prison time for what they did.”

Margaret Buckley let out a soft, frightened sound and clutched at her husband’s hand, while Phillip Buckley had the good grace to actually look worried.

“However,” Judge Wayne continued. “Given Mr Nash’s impassioned speech yesterday and some careful reflections on this case, I have decided on something else, something that I feel will both drive home the extent of the damage caused by Mr and Mrs Buckley so thoughtlessly abandoning a child.”

He looked at the Buckleys again.

“Mr and Mrs Buckley, it is the determination of this court that you are guilty of the charges of wilful child abandonment and child endangerment.”

Margaret let out another sound and Phillip immediately wrapped his arm around her.

“I understand,” Judge Wayne continued. “From your attorney that, given a guilty verdict, you wished to be sentenced immediately. Will both of you please rise.”

Phillip and Margaret stood alone with their lawyer.

“Mr and Mrs Buckley, I want you to understand that while I would be well within my rights to sentence you both to prison time, I have decided to forgo such a sentence in favour of a something that will, hopefully, serve as a much harsher punishment.”

Judge Wayne looked at the notepad before him and then back up at the Buckleys.

“Mr and Mrs Buckley, the average cost of raising a child in this country is, approximately, two-hundred-and-thirty-eight thousand dollars. Given that you raised your son until he was roughly three years of age, it is the determination of this court that you are to pay reparations to one, Evan Nash, in the amount of one-hundred-and-ninety-eight thousand dollars.”

The slam of the gavel echoed through the courtroom.

“Court is adjourned.”

Chapter Text

For little over a month, Evan Nash had felt like he was on the edge of a cliff, just waiting to fall forward or backward.

He’d bounced back and forth between California, Pennsylvania and Minnesota so much in the last few weeks that it had hardly felt like he’d seen home for more than a few days at a time.

The case in Pennsylvania had wrapped fairly quickly, if a bit surprisingly, leaving Buck nearly two-hundred-thousand dollars richer, money he still wasn’t certain he wanted when all he’d wanted was the recognition of what had been done to him by his biological parents.

Minnesota had taken a bit longer. The prosecutor there had purposely waited for the case in Pennsylvania to be resolved so that when she went after the Buckleys she could point to their legal matters in their home state as further proof of their guilt. Unlike Pennsylvania, the case in Minnesota had been tried in front of a jury. A jury who saw through the attempts to again paint the Buckleys as stressed and frightened parents who hadn’t fully understood what they were doing.

The judge in that case did not award any sort of damages to Buck, not that he’d expected or wanted any, citing the judge in Pennsylvania had already seen to that, but had instead ordered Phillip and Margaret Buckley to five years probation and a fine of ten-thousand dollars, each, as punishment for what he called: “A heinous and unforgiveable act of obvious and wilful child neglect and abandonment.”

Buck would never be able to fully explain the weight that had lifted from his shoulders after that final verdict.

It was like something he’d been carrying around his entire life was finally gone.

He was finally free.

And he was never looking back.

Returning to Los Angeles after the trial in Minnesota was a relief and he wasn’t at all surprised that everyone had decided to throw a massive get-together at Bobby and Athena’s.

He was sitting on the patio, taking a break from playing tag with Harry, Denny and Christopher, when Daniel, who had been roped into playing tag when Buck decided to take a break, dropped into the chair next to Buck, panting softly as he watched Eddie and Hen take over with the kids.

“Those are not children,” Daniel laughed breathlessly. “Those are the unholy offspring of the Energizer Bunny.”

Buck laughed and grinned.

“They’ll keep you on your toes, that’s for sure,” he chuckled, watching Eddie catch Christopher and scoop him up into the air, the boy squealing with laughter while yelling no fair, no fair, that’s cheating, Dad over and over again.

He glanced at Daniel, who was watching Eddie and Christopher too, with a sappy, happy smile on his face.

“I think you don’t mind our Superman keeping you on your toes,” he teased gently and Daniel looked at him.

“I really don’t.” His smile, if possible, grew wider. “I love that kid more than…hell…more than I ever thought I could love someone.”

“He’s an easy kid to love.”

Daniel nodded his agreement.

“He gets that from his dad,” Daniel said, looking again towards Eddie and Christopher for a moment before meeting Buck’s eye. “I never would have had either of them if not for you, you know?”

Buck started to disagree but Daniel quickly cut him off.

“I’m serious, Buck. If you hadn’t started searching for me, for our family, I never would have met Eddie or Christopher. I would have lived my life believing lies and never knowing what kind of people my parents really are.

And as much as it hurts to know the truth, I’m glad to know it. I’d rather have a little brother who loves me, who welcomed me into his family and helped me meet the man who might just be the love of my life, than my parents’ lies.”

Daniel’s expression was soft and full of nothing but love.

“Thank you, Buck,” his brother said softly. “Thank you for all of it.”

Buck moved, reaching out to hug Daniel, who hugged him back just as tightly.

“You never have to thank me,” Buck whispered, words his Dad had once said to him tumbling easily, truly, from his lips. “You never have to thank me for loving you.”

“Group hug!”

Christopher’s voice rang out seconds before thin arms were wrapping around the brothers and both Buck and Daniel laughed as they each looped an arm around Christopher.

“There’s my bestest buddy,” Buck laughed, grinning, pressing a quick kiss to Christopher’s curls. “Did you beat your dad at tag, Superman?”

“Yeah,” Christopher said, grinning ear to ear, while a short distance away Eddie declared it wasn’t winning when you ran away to hug people.

Daniel laughed, scooping Christopher up onto his lap, the boy leaning immediately into him, head resting against Daniel’s shoulder.

“You definitely won, little man,” Daniel said, grinning, and Christopher just beamed with joy.

Buck smiled at the sight of his brother and Christopher.

He knew that, one day, sooner rather than later, Daniel would officially be Christopher’s stepfather.

He saw the way Eddie looked at Daniel.

It was the same way Hen looked at Karen.

It was the same way Bobby looked at Athena.

It was the same way Tim looked at him.

Love and hope and pure happiness.

It made Buck happy to know that everyone he cared about was happy and loved.

All he had ever wanted was a big, happy family.

And he had it.

When Eddie joined Daniel and Christopher, Buck excused himself for a moment and went in search of Tim, finding him in the kitchen fetching a fresh beer.

“Hey, babe,” Tim said, smiling at him. “Everything good?”

Buck nodded, reaching out to pull Tim into his arms, getting a chuckle from the older man.

“Everything is perfect,” Buck replied, smiling. “Just wanted to tell you I love you.”

Tim’s smile was soft and loving as he pressed a kiss to Buck’s lips.

“I love you too. Now, tomorrow and always.”

“Sap.”

“I’m your sap though.”

“Damn right.”

Buck kissed Tim again, long and slow, until they were interrupted by Harry fake gagging and complaining about his big brother showing public affection in the kitchen.

“I eat in here,” Harry whined in what could only be described as pre-teen disgust. “I don’t need to see your public displays of affection. It’s almost as gross as Mom and Bobby kissing in here.”

“Oh it’s gross, huh? Come here, I’ll show you a display of affection,” Buck mock growled, grabbing for Harry, who shrieked about not getting old people cooties and bolted back for the yard, Buck right behind him, leaving Tim to laugh in their wake and the rest of their extended family to laugh as the pair raced by.

Yeah, Buck thought as he chased a laughing Harry, who was now calling for support from Denny and Christopher. I wouldn’t trade any of this for the world.