Chapter Text
If Katsuki told his middle-school self that he'd started a thirsty-ass stan account for Deku, middle-school him would have attempted to punch him in the dick, Kota-style.
He, of course, would K.O. his middle-school self with the flick of a fucking finger, so fuck that guy.
Katsuki had gotten the idea from Mina.
She hadn't told him to do it, because there was no way in hell he would ever tell her what was going on in his head. Not even on his deathbed. He would never live it down.
Here's how it happened:
He'd beaten Deku's ass at Ground Beta. He'd pulled out an indisputable win despite the fact that this dork had somehow gotten All Might to give him his quirk.
But when he pinned him down, he suddenly and problematically realized just how gay he was.
The nerd was ripped. So ripped. He only wore baggy shirts with shitty slogans and basketball shorts, so he'd never really noticed how fucking yoked he'd become. Sure, there was his hero costume, but that was baggy too.
Sitting on top of him to pin him down though? Fuck.
Hearing Deku panting beneath him had caused an immediate internal crisis.
Deku was hot. Like really fucking hot. And uh...he was taking notice.
Fuck, no.
He was just glad that Deku was too distracted by his custom-made ass-kicking to notice that he was turned on.
Pinning your rival down after a knock-down-drag-out was the wrong time for a boner. Like, the worst time.
Especially since All Might had shown up a second later. Hiding his boner while his idol tried to hug him had been the most mortifying moment of his life.
He'd hoped he could make a quick escape, but no. Of course not. All Might had to give them a (very intriguing, well reasoned) lecture about working together and fixing their relationship, and Aizawa had needed to chew them out.
Then Deku had to open his fat mouth.
"It wasn't just him. I also went pretty hard," he said in that fucking warm-tea-on-a-cold-ass-day voice. Fuck, had he always sounded that good?
He wanted the nerd to go hard. On him. Jesus fuck. This was a disaster.
He hadn't been able to sleep that night. He had to know if it was a fluke. If it had just been a heat-of-the-moment, 'we're both riled up' kind of thing.
So he'd stalked Mina's Instagram. A small, private account where most of the class had made appearances.
He'd found Deku pretty quickly. He was constantly with Floaty, and besides their 'squad,' Kirby was the person Mina photographed the most.
This time, he really looked though, and it felt like he'd been hit by a fucking truck.
Deku was fucking gorgeous. What the fuck.
He wanted to scream, but he couldn't. Shitty Hair was right next door, and he'd barge over and ask him what was wrong.
Nothing. Nothing was wrong. Something was too right. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
Then he realized: he'd be stuck in the dorm alone with him all day. Fuck.
The next day, after his 'squad' teased him for his house arrest stint, Mina had been loudly telling Denki about how unreasonably hot she thought Hawks was (even though the man could be a complete douche sometimes), when she pulled up a Hawks thirst account on Twitter.
He had been calmly thinking about Deku in a completely normal way, but that had caught his attention.
"Lemme see," he grunted.
Surprised but delighted, Mina handed her phone over and let him scroll.
Until high school, Katsuki had never been interested in social media.
Well, that wasn't totally true. He had a Twitter account, but he only used it for hero news and stats.
He didn't even follow any actual heroes—he found their personal accounts utterly useless and filled with empty soundbites that had no actual value to him or society in any way.
But this? This had potential.
He didn't actually do anything about it, though. What would he even say?
'Hey universe, I just realized that I want to stick my dick in my best friend turned bullying victim turned rival, send help?'
No.
So, he handed the phone back to Mina and completely forgot about the idea before it had completely formed.
That is, until the day that Deku obliterated Overhaul, and Katsuki's gay realization evolved into outright gay panic.
Holy fuck, his nerd was jacked. That's right, his nerd. Katsuki always got the best, goddammit. He would figure out how to get Deku to date him.
And/or bang him. As long as it was a hands-on experience.
But until he figured that out, he had to do something with this sudden and overwhelming influx of utter thirst.
Before he knew it, he was logging into his dinky down-low Twitter account, @/_kb420_. No followers, no tweets, only following three news sites.
He had some thinking to do here.
If he tweeted about what he wanted to do to Deku from this account and it got any attention, it would track back to him. He had to change his handle.
He would need something new and anonymous so that he could rant without risking discovery.
His mind drifted to the thirst account that Mina had showed him, trying to come up with an appropriate new tag. It had been called @/1SexyChicken, and 100% Hawks focused. Was it gonna be exclusively about Deku?
Yes. Yes it was.
And so @/FuckMeUpDeku was born.