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Akira wakes up with a purr near his left ear and a small croak. He grunts and turns onto one side, careful not to crush Morgana, and opens his eyes slowly, taking his time.
"Hey, Raven."
The red-eyed crow is still on his perch on the shelf. He doesn't make any noise but when he sees that Akira is awake, he flies to him and lands on his pillow.
"Slept well?"
He runs his hand over Raven's soft feathers, amused. Today is a special day after all, and he's going to spend it with his talking non-cat and his super-talented crow.
"Akiraaaaa..."
The cat opens his little blue eyes and stares at Raven, who looks back at him.
"Why are you looking at me like that, you."
Raven gives him a flick of the wing and doesn't miss either Morgana or Akira. Both groan at the sudden, quick contact of the wing.
"I'm awake!"
"You little..."
Raven is immediately out of reach of Morgana's paws, nearly clawing at him.
Morgana hisses at him and quickly gets out of bed to chase the bird, who seems amused at his attempts.
"Raven! Mona! Not in the morning!!!"
Akira doesn't know how many times he's repeated those words. The two may have some understanding when Akira is concerned, but they can't stand each other.
Akira doesn't know how many times he's seen Raven steal Morgana's sushi or how many times Morgana has spilled Raven's coffee mug. They never stop bickering. But at least it makes this empty house more lively, if the two animals weren't there, Akira would be alone in this house. He has seen at most two times his parents this year.
Akira sighs. No matter, he has things to do today. It's June 2 and someone special's birthday.
And even if he's not anymore in his life, Akira will never forget him.
Akira gets up and puts on the black glove on his right hand, and a feeling of security comes over him as if a small part of Goro was with him as soon as he puts on the glove. He quickly exits his room before Morgana and Raven cause havoc on the first floor. Again.
_ _ _
He doesn't know when Raven actually came into his life and stayed.
Akira was in prison, sometimes mocked by the guards, sometimes he was intentionally forgotten to be fed and he couldn't protest.
He remained silent and mourned a love that couldn't even bloom. He was mourning a murderer, whom he had become attached to, a friend who had tried to kill him, a lover who had pushed him to abandon him.
Sometimes, Akira regrets not having embraced the false reality. But he knows that it was false, that it wasn't good for them. That Goro would rather die than become a puppet again.
He remembers having these internal debates. And he remembers that a crow came and threw him an apple. Then chased away the officers who thought they could abuse the teenager. He kept him company and stayed when no one else would.
And even after the detention, he stayed on his shoulder, took care to keep an eye on Akira, listened to his frustrations, forced him to take care of himself.
Sometimes Akira thinks he sees Goro in him, with the same wine-colored eyes, the same arrogant and overprotective attitude, maybe even possessive. The same preferences, tastes, the same constant presence in his life.
He supposes that this day will also seem a bit like his birthday, huh? The crow will be thrilled.
Akira lets his jazz playlist resound in the house, gets dressed properly, and goes to prepare breakfast.
Raven joins him soon after, probably tired of watching Morgana, and sits on his left shoulder. Akira took a little time before he got used to having a rather constant weight on his shoulder but finally, the light touch of his black feathers ended up being a comfort.
Speaking of Raven...
Akira finishes the three Blue Mountain coffees (Goro's favorite beans), and gently lowers Raven's head to kiss him on the beak. He croaks, embarrassed and Akira chuckles as the raven gives him a bad look, and flies away from Akira. The young man knows that he is never far away, however.
He takes the milk and the sugar and doses correctly two of the three drinks. Akira drinks it without anything fancy, but Raven always prefers it with a bit of milk and 3 sugars like...
Like a certain detective liked it too.
Akira sighs, this is going to be a nostalgic day full of emotions.
He takes the three cups without letting a drop slip on the table. Then he returns to the kitchen, Raven can drink his coffee before him, Akira wants to make something else before.
Pancakes.
Ha. If Goro found out he can't imagine the rage on his face, or the vicious words he would say to him. Maybe he would even refuse to take a bite, before giving in when Akira's back is turned. If Goro was there...
Akira feels Raven settling on his shoulder again.
"You know Raven... it's someone's birthday today."
Akira begins to pour the previously prepared pancake mix into the pan.
"You probably don't know him. I mean, I met you after he..."
Akira doesn't finish his sentence.
"Akira."
He turns his head and sees Morgana enter the room.
"What are you doing?"
"Oh." A mischievous smile plays on the student's lips. "Well, it's Goro's birthday today, so I must honor the Pancake prince well."
Raven tenses on his shoulder, but Akira ignores him. He chuckles with Morgana.
"Akechi would be so mad..."
"Hahaha! Yes I know that's exactly why- OW Raven why... HEY stop hurting me!"
Raven is furious and Akira doesn't know why.
"What the... Raven how are you able to lift a still hot pan?! What are you going to do with that?! Raven come back!" Akira begins to chase after the bird, who has a burning pan in his beak, the contents of said pan dripping onto the floor, determined not to let him make this dessert.
Result: they didn't eat any pancakes this morning. Raven is quite proud of it.
"Raven!"
Raven opens one of his red eyes. Akira has always found it amusing, he's the only crow he knows who has this physical feature and intelligence worthy of a human.
But this is no time for praise, because after Akira has to clean up the mess that Raven has made. He faces another revelation.
"Did you drink the third cup?"
He doesn't know how, but Akira always ends up finding animals that eat like humans. So for Morgana, it's normal, technically he assumes but Raven...
Raven looks at him with annoyance, as if the answer was obvious.
"It wasn't for you, you know."
Akira sighs and sits down on one of the chairs at his disposal. He stares at the two empty cups.
"It's Goro's birthday. He liked to have his coffee like you. I guess... my foolish sentimentality, as he says, has led me to brew this other cup."
Raven stares at him and Akira thinks he sees the lack of understanding.
"I know it would have been a waste. I just wanted..." Akira lowers his head, a bitter smile can't help but appear on his face. "I just... wanted to do something for him even if he..."
His fists clench. He still remembers that cold February day, and an even more frigid chill in Goro's autumn-colored eyes.
"I'm an idiot, right. I know that. He told me that so many times."
Raven sets down right in front of him, forcing him to raise his head.
"I just want him to know that no matter where he is, someone still cherishes him as much as ever and wishes him the best birthday he can live."
"And I'm sure he knows it, Akira."
Morgana jumps up on the table, joining Raven.
"You really loved him, huh."
Akira brushes his left hand across his right, touching the black leather of the glove.
"This isn't the end."
"Akira..."
"No. I refuse to believe that he just disappeared like that. It's Crow. It's Akechi. He can't be gone like that. He can't...!"
Raven puts his beak to his lips, silencing him. He quickly pulls away and flies off, embarrassed but Akira appreciates his gesture.
"I know. He has a promise to keep. He'll come back."
Something hits his forehead. It didn't hurt especially but...
Akira looks down and sees a white king chess piece on the ground and the proud culprit not far from him.
Isn't he the one who threw a chess piece to Goro one day?"
Akira smiled.
"A little game, Crow?"
Raven doesn't seem any more bothered by being called differently.
Sometimes, Akira in his spare time thinks Raven is Goro.
But he knows that it's only his crazy hopes that make him delusional.
_ _ _
Akira loses against a crow, twice in a row. And he isn't really upset. On the contrary, he finds it amusing that Raven proudly struts around after his victories.
He listens with serenity to the same jazz songs he could hear at Jazz Jin. Raven also seems more relaxed to the sound of brass instruments and melodious voices.
He and Morgana play some old retro video games, constantly stopping Raven from ripping the cable out of his controller.
It's after the tenth time that Raven decides to give up and leave, Akira doesn't know what, he is still a wild bird and likes to fly away for a few hours every now and then.
Morgana is no different either, the fact is that they always come back.
So during his absence, Akira lets himself dream.
He thinks back to the detective's fake smiles, his false modesty, his straight and forced posture, his layers of makeup, his mature but sometimes ridiculous outfits (who wears a sweater vest in the middle of summer seriously?).
He thinks about their interactions, his mixed messages, the way Akira could discern his forced or sincere laughter. He thinks about his unfortunate tendency to get lost in his thoughts, or how he could monologue for hours on a subject when he was passionate.
The way his eyes glow or darken when Akira does something specific, or how he holds his chopsticks perfectly with his right hand but seems much more comfortable with his left. How Goro likes his coffee, or appreciates Akira making his curry sweeter with a light touch of spice because his palate is sensitive. How Goro looks at him as they fight together. The way he unapologetically gives up his lies to embrace his rage and one day be the real him. He thinks about the silent moments at Leblanc and how much Akira wanted to say goodbye by placing a kiss on his lips even though he knew what he was scheming. He...
A croak interrupts him. It seems that Raven has returned. Akira goes to the living room to open the window and let Raven in. The sun is already setting, Akira sighs and the crow...
...puts some pink flowers in front of him.
Akira doesn't know if he curses or is glad to know he has worked long enough at the florist to know almost by heart the language of flowers and...
Forget-me-nots. True love. Loyalty. Reminiscence. And a connection that lasts over time.
Don't forget me.
Goro.
Akira doesn't hold back his tears, he holds the fragile flowers firmly in his glove and tries to wipe away the tears that are flowing without stopping. He ignores the weight of Raven on his shoulder, ignores the wind that ruffles his hair already in mess. He just thinks about the one he misses so much, the person who didn't deserve this fate, he had to...
Raven wipes as he can his tears with his wing. He is careful, taking care that his feathers do not touch his eye.
"Raven he's..."
Raven croaks, surprised as Akira hugs him.
"I miss him so much. I love him so much, Raven."
Akira closes his eyes and holds back his tears, wanting to stop his sobs.
"I won't. I won't forget him. Ever."
Raven stares at him and looks at the flowers in his hand.
Idiot.
A sense of relief blossoms in his heart, though.
We're both such fools.