Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Stark Industries ✓ @starkindustries

The Stark Internships Summer Program is finally open!

Apply for an internship with Stark Industries now and be a part of something bigger and better. We offer internships across all the SI departments, depending on your area of interest and preferred career track.

Intern @peterbp is our first high school intern for Stark Internships. He is currently interning in both the biophysics and biochemistry departments of SI under our CEO @tonystark.

Apply here – http://starkindustries.com/summerintern21
#starkindustries #starkinternships #summerprogram #starkinterns
1.8m🗨️ 976k⟲ 1.5m♡
⟲ retweeted by Pepper Potts ✓, don't call me mj | blm, and 1m others

tony stark doormat (real) @tstarkstan
okay but can we please talk about intern peterbp I mean hello arms
1.3k🗨️ 1.7k⟲ 2.1k♡

pepperony daily @dailypepperony
did I read it wrong or did it say that he is working under THE tony stark himself
1.3k🗨️ 1.7k⟲ 2.1k♡

iron friend @ironfan
just look at that tech I am salivating
1.3k🗨️ 1.7k⟲ 2.1k♡

the fe girl @feisiron
he is in high school?? omg I'm gonna try and apply too!! i never knew SI takes in high school interns!!
1.3k🗨️ 1.7k⟲ 2.1k♡

theflashmob @callmeflash
WAIT NO WAY THAT IS NOT YOU @peterbp WTF PENIS DID YOU JUST HACK INTO STARK INDUSTRIES TWITTER
38🗨️ 5⟲ 46♡

don't call me mj | blm @blackdahlia
Get a braincell and don't embarrass yourself on the internet, Eugene.
15🗨️ 64⟲ 89♡

Tony Stark ✓ @tonystark
Aw @peterbp, you made it to the official SI page! Also, did you enter Lab 53A without my permission?!
2.7m🗨️ 4.5m⟲ 8.8m♡
⟲ retweeted by ironfriend, guy in the chair, peterbp daily, and 4m others

peterbp daily @dailypeterbp
hello mr iron man sir but can we please know more about peterbp thank you (spare some pics sir pspspspspsps)
65🗨️ 176⟲ 245♡

guy in the chair @nedleeds
bro @peterbp omg tony stark tweeted you!
13🗨️ 7⟲ 21♡

Col. James Rhodes ✓ @warmachine
Tony, why are you tweeting in a meeting? Please pay attention.
135k🗨️ 351k⟲ 716k♡

Tony Stark ✓ @tonystark
Pot. Kettle.
615k🗨️ 3.4m⟲ 5.3m♡

Tony Stark Updates @tstarkfc
This is Tony's first tweet after 7 months.
1.3k🗨️ 1.7k⟲ 2.1k♡

peter who @peterbp
please mr stark don't tweet about me
2.5k🗨️ 3.4k⟲ 7.1k♡

Tony Stark ✓ @tonystark
You can't tell me what to do. I am Tony Stark.
876k🗨️ 6.4m⟲ 8.1m♡

peter who @peterbp
you literally burned water so you automatically have no say over me.
3.2k🗨️ 4.5k⟲ 6.5k♡

Tony Stark ✓ @tonystark
Where is my sweet little cinnamon roll Peter who used to stutter and stammer when he sees me? Bring him back! I want a refund please. My child is broken.
876k🗨️ 6.4m⟲ 8.1m♡

tony stark doormat (real) @tstarkstan
CHILD?????!!!!!!! #PeterStark ?????
1k🗨️ 4k⟲ 8k♡

pepperony daily @dailypepperony
excuse me sorry I think I missed like 50 chapters in the life of pepperony but child??????? #PeterStark
5.1k🗨️ 6.4k⟲ 8.1k♡

iron friend @ironfan
uhhhh @tstarkfc @ilovetonystark @pepperstan @pottsdaily @techstark
5🗨️ 3⟲ 6♡

peter stark fan account @starkishisname
hi, I'm new.
6k🗨️ 8k⟲ 10.2k♡

Chapter Text

Worldwide Trends

1 • News • Trending Worldwide
#PeterStark
569K Tweets

2 • News • Trending Worldwide
Tony Stark
499K Tweets

3 • News • Trending Worldwide
Stark Industries
319K Tweets

The Daily Bugle ✓ @dailybugle
Tony Stark's playboy past haunting him with bastard son revealed. Read more here. #PeterStark
14k🗨️ 2k⟲ 3k♡

iron friend @ironfan
no one reads your paper
3k🗨️ 5k⟲ 8k♡

pepperony daily @dailypepperony
i can smell the lawsuit from a mile away
54k🗨️ 154k⟲ 234k♡

spiderman x nyc fanfic when @spideyfromyoutube
praying to every deity that pepper potts and stark industries destroy TDB so there will be no more spiderman slander let's go queen
344k🗨️ 634k⟲ 954k♡

peter who @peterbp
there's a hyphen in spider-man smh fake fan
852k🗨️ 1.4m⟲ 3.7m♡
⟲ retweeted by spiderman x nyc fanfic when, guy in the chair, peterbp daily and 1.4m others

spiderman x nyc fanfic when @spideyfromyoutube
omg peter the intern is a spider-man fan too! the avengers can never! (also pls i'm shaking peter the intern replied me hello sir i am as you can see big g a y)
134k🗨️ 264k⟲ 654k♡

peter who @peterbp
i'm happy that you're a (as you call it) big gay! have a good day!
1.5m🗨️ 2.5m⟲ 4.5m♡
⟲ retweeted by spiderman x nyc fanfic when, peter stark fan account, peterbp daily and 2.5m others

The New York Times ✓ @NYTimes
Tony Stark took the Internet by storm as he banters playfully with a Stark Industries intern known as Peter. Netizens speculate that there is more to the story. Read more here.
144k🗨️ 221k⟲ 384k♡

peter who @peterbp
imagine graduating from university in journalism only to be asked to write this article by your boss
356k🗨️ 534k⟲ 891k♡
⟲ retweeted by Tony Stark ✓, guy in the chair, don't call me mj | blm and 534k others

don't call me mj | blm @blackdahlia
The New York Times should be better than a clickbait title. How low they've fallen.
55🗨️ 103⟲ 223♡

Queen Pepper Potts @pepperstan
plus points for not using the hashtag i guess? but still trash. lawsuit.
36k🗨️ 54k⟲ 91k♡

Stark Industries ✓ @starkindustries
We've received numerous reports about the increase in malicious comments, including the spread of false information, online slander and defamation in regards to our CEO, Tony Stark and Stark Industries intern, Peter. We will be taking strong legal action through our law firm against all legally punishable acts, including the spread of false information and defamation, even in cases where nicknames are difficult to identify.

We are thankful for all your reports and you can continue doing so in the future.

Thank you.
144k🗨️ 221k⟲ 384k♡

peter who @peterbp
the devil works hard but queen pepper works harder @pepperpotts i love you queen step on me
1.4m🗨️ 2.6m⟲ 3.5m♡
⟲ retweeted by Tony Stark ✓, Pepper Potts ✓, Queen Pepper Potts and 2.6m others

Pepper Potts ✓ @pepperpotts
I love you too, sweetie. But try not to tweet everything online from now on, okay?
2.4m🗨️ 3.5m⟲ 3.9m♡

Tony Stark ✓ @tonystark
I'm calling favourites. How does he get an i love you too online but not me? Your own fiance?
3.5m🗨️ 4.6m⟲ 7.5m♡

Queen Pepper Potts @pepperstan
oh to receive an i love you from the queen herself.
13k🗨️ 21k⟲ 47k♡

peter marry me @petertheintern
literally crying at how peter casually tweeted the pepper potts to step on him excuse me i think he is one of us
165🗨️ 354⟲ 523♡

i saw spidey fell off a building once @spideyonesie
yes i too believe in peter the intern (and spider-man) supremacy
12🗨️ 132⟲ 176♡

peter who @peterbp
hi it's peter. thank you i guess for the overwhelming interest but im really nothing much im just a normal high school boy with an internship. also jokes aside, i am not mr stark's son. i actually saw my birth certificate tyvm and i know my parents although it was only for a short time cause life hates me but eh. and they were happily married tyvm so im not a bastard either. some ppl said birth certs can be wrong so now im like huh what do you want from me kevin do you want actual proof that i was in my mom's womb because how do we do that. i may have eidetic memory but i dont think i would want to remember being in a dark squishy womb and dear god pls brainwash that out of my mind now!
3.4m🗨️ 4.1m⟲ 5.6m♡
⟲ retweeted by guy in the chair, peterbp daily, peter marry me and 4.1m others

peter who @peterbp
also now i have the sudden urge to ask anyone with an eidetic memory if they can remember what its like being in a womb because i am curious omg dr. spencer reid where are you when i need you?? also are we even sure dr. spencer reid is real cause anyone that smart WITH an eidetic memory is probably an alien. holy shit is dr. spencer reid an alien??? are people with eidetic memory aliens??? is that what they have at area 51?? just smart eidetic memory people??? ohmygod am i in the illuminati. excuse me @buzzfeedunsolved i have a conspiracy for you
2.4m🗨️ 3.5m⟲ 3.9m♡

peter marry me @petertheintern
look all im asking is what if peter's right? what do we even know about aliens?
324🗨️ 745⟲ 871♡

do aliens eat pizza @heyaliens
i'm telling you guys this sounds legit
12🗨️ 132⟲ 176♡

criminal minds comeback when @heatherx
always knew reid was sus how can someone be that smart and handsome
78🗨️ 186⟲ 231♡

guy in the chair @nedleeds
omg peter we NEED to raid area 51 like now holy shit call me this is huge you might be on to something!!!!
25🗨️ 43⟲ 76♡

don't call me mj | blm @blackdahlia
Peter. You are literally a STEM student.
12🗨️ 132⟲ 176♡

e=mc2 @sciencegeek
aliens don't exist. all those 'spaceships' are just comets and asteroids ejected from other planetary systems because the Milky Way should contain around 100 million billion billion comets and asteroids.
546🗨️ 1.2k⟲ 2.4k♡

peter stark fan account @starkishisname
omg don't look alientwt and sciencetwt are fighting
1.5k🗨️ 3.7k⟲ 11.2k♡

Chapter Text

peter who @peterpb
it has come to my attention that I indirectly caused a dispute between sciencetwt and alientwt due to my previous tweet. Unfortunately, I have nothing to say. Fortunately, @KARENTHEAI does.
143k🗨️ 2.1m⟲ 3.5m♡

do you have pizza @petergiggles
who is KAREN THE AI
1k🗨️ 1.1k⟲ 2k♡

do a flip! @spooderman
sir thank you for giving us nothing
5k🗨️ 14k⟲ 24k♡

tony stark first human second @ilovetonystark
AI? ISN’T THAT TONY’S TECH. DO YOU HAVE YOUR OWN AI TOO.
3k🗨️ 6k⟲ 9k♡

can I speak to the manager ✓ @KARENTHEAI
Yes, aliens exist. Did the whole of New York forgot Loki tried to take over the world despite being brainwashed or.
Is this satisfactory, Peter? @peterpb
82k🗨️ 144k⟲ 378k♡
⟲ retweeted by peterpb, do you have pizza, do a flip! and 144k others

Tony Stark ✓ @tonystark
Kid @peterpb. Please tell me you did not make a Twitter account for Karen just to say aliens exist.
5m🗨️ 14m⟲ 24m♡

peter who @peterpb
but mr stark it has been proven that people listen to robots more than people
523k🗨️ 1.4m⟲ 2m♡

Tony Stark ✓ @tonystark
Peter. Also did you just verify her on your own?
1m🗨️ 7m⟲ 14m♡

peter who @peterpb
it’s honestly not that hard. I think twitter needs better security unless they don’t mind me fiddling around with their codes.
142k🗨️ 324k⟲ 524k♡

Tony Stark ✓ @tonystark
You KNOW I can buy Twitter right? I can even buy you Facebook if you want and you can meddle with the codes any time.
31m🗨️ 49m⟲ 63m♡

peter who @peterpb
who uses fb now mr stark omg you are such a boomer
75.1k🗨️ 2.6m⟲ 6.1m♡

Tony Stark ✓ @tonystark
I am literally born in 1970. I am not a boomer. I am so cool literally the coolest. I know Snapchat and TikTok! I know slang words. Lol. Lmfao. Ttyl. Netflix and chill. Coolio.
3.7m🗨️ 14.4m⟲ 47.3m♡

peter who @peterpb
mr stark I need you to delete your account pls before I go drink some bleach to erase this moment
1.3m🗨️ 3.7m⟲ 5.9m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, do you have pizza, do a flip! and 3.7m others

peter stark fan account @starkishisname
can we please talk about KAREN’s dn I am actually going to pee myself laughing
9🗨️ 14⟲ 24♡

peter best boi @sunpeter
peter is so gen z its endearing I love he
565🗨️ 1k⟲ 2.4k♡

do aliens eat pizza @heyaliens
@sciencegeek BOOM BITCH THE ROBOT SAID SO. ALIENS EXIST.
50k🗨️ 149k⟲ 247k♡

spidey choked on a churro 413 days ago @neighbourhoodspidey
so we are not talking about how this boy hacked into twitter to give the AI (?) a verified check? Okay.
97🗨️ 149⟲ 243♡

tony stark doormat (real) @tstarkstan
sometimes I forget aliens exist because there has been no invasions lately haha loki when pspspspspspsps I need an excuse to not send in my thesis
53k🗨️ 1.7km⟲ 2.9k♡

just give me one day @techstark
literally mood like hey aliens im here beam me up so I can tell my lecturer aliens beamed me up as an excuse for me being absent for class
8🗨️ 176⟲ 407♡

peter who @peterbp
mood. also @lokilaufeyson the people want another invasion.
7.9m🗨️ 14m⟲ 21.7m♡

i am adopted ✓ @lokilaufeyson
i can schedule one next Friday at 2:30pm after therapy. Is that okay?
4.9m🗨️ 11.6m⟲ 29m♡

peter who @peterbp
god this is why you are my favourite.
6m🗨️ 19.5m⟲ 35m♡

Tony Stark ✓ @tonystark
Excuse me?
5m🗨️ 14m⟲ 24m♡

Col. James Rhodes ✓ @warmachine
Excuse me?
5m🗨️ 14m⟲ 24m♡

Steve Rogers ✓ @captamerica
Excuse me?
5m🗨️ 14m⟲ 24m♡

Bucky Barnes ✓ @jamesbucky
Excuse me?
5m🗨️ 14m⟲ 24m♡

Natasha ✓ @blackwidow
Excuse me?
5m🗨️ 14m⟲ 24m♡

Barton ✓ @hawkeye
Excuse me?
5m🗨️ 14m⟲ 24m♡

King Thor of Asgard ✓ @thorodinson
EXCUSE ME?
5m🗨️ 14m⟲ 24m♡

Dr. Bruce Banner ✓ @brucebanner
Excuse me?
5m🗨️ 14m⟲ 24m♡

wireless charging only ✓ @VISION
Excuse me?
5m🗨️ 14m⟲ 24m♡

the main character ✓ @samwilson
Excuse me?
5m🗨️ 14m⟲ 24m♡

wanda from fairly odd parents ✓ @scarletwitch
Excuse me?
5m🗨️ 14m⟲ 24m♡

peter who @peterpb
I can’t believe the avengers just exposed their accounts because I said loki is my favourite
500k🗨️ 1.4m⟲ 2.4m♡
⟲ retweeted by iron friend, peter marry me, spiderman x nyc fanfic when and 1.4m others

The Daily Bugle ✓ @dailybugle
Peter Stark following into his father’s footsteps as he plans an invasion with alien menace Loki to destroy New York. Read more here.
5k🗨️ 1k⟲ 2k♡

peter who @peterpb
if aliens don’t exist then pls explain who I see in the kitchen every morning making me delicious breakfast @ mr thor asgard king sir
56k🗨️ 1.5m⟲ 2.1m♡
⟲ retweeted by i saw spidey fell off a building once, peter best boi, tony stark doormat (real) and 1.5m others

you are all stupid aliens don’t exist @govtbrainwashedus
thor is a norse god not a fucking alien
53k🗨️ 132k⟲ 24.5k♡

peter who @peterpb
he is literally from another planet. aliens are usually known as extraterrestrial beings. extraterrestrial beings are and I QUOTE “a being from another world.” mr thor asgard king sir is not from earth hence he is an alien. your argument is invalid. also your dn says aliens don’t exist but you also tweeted that area 51 probably has spaceships for aliens five years ago so what is the truth
432k🗨️ 3.1m⟲ 6.4m♡

do aliens eat pizza @heyaliens
peter destroys kyle on twt. more at 6.
3🗨️ 42⟲ 154♡

King Thor of Asgard ✓ @thorodinson
THANK YOU TONYSON FOR SAYING MY BREAKFAST IS DELICIOUS I WILL MAKE MORE FOR YOU WHENEVER I AM ON PLANET EARTH. AND YES I AM WHAT YOU HUMANS CALL AN ALIEN BUT YOUR ANCESTORS CALL ME A GOD.
3.1m🗨️ 5m⟲ 6.8m♡

Tony Stark ✓ @tonystark
You don’t have to capitalise everything, Point Break.
1m🗨️ 34m⟲ 82m♡

King Thor of Asgard ✓ @thorodinson
BRUCE SAID IT MEANS LOUD. I AM SHOUTING LOUDLY.
1.1m🗨️ 6.3m⟲ 15m♡

Bucky Barnes ✓ @jamesbucky
Thor shut up I can hear you from my room and you are 5 rooms down.
345k🗨️ 945k⟲ 1.5m♡

Barton ✓ @hawkeye
Can we go back to thor making breakfast for peter because the last time I checked he blew up a toaster.
234k🗨️ 534k⟲ 749k♡

peter who @peterpb
mr thor asgard king sir didn’t blew up a toaster he was just experimenting with it to make it pop the bread faster
1.2m🗨️ 3.7m⟲ 8.1m♡

Barton ✓ @hawkeye
Tessie the toaster literally went kaboom, peter.
376k🗨️ 1m⟲ 2.1m♡

peter who @peterpb
it was an experiment!
853k🗨️ 1.4m⟲ 3.6m♡

Natasha ✓ @blackwidow
He blew up the toaster.
452k🗨️ 857k⟲ 1.9m♡

peter who @peterpb
he blew up the toaster.
2.5m🗨️ 3.1m⟲ 5.9m♡

Chapter Text

criminal minds comeback when @heatherx
hi @peterpb can I know what exactly you do as a stark intern? i’m so curious.
14🗨️ 54⟲ 76♡

peter who @peterpb
hello heatherx! i don’t think i do normal stark intern stuff because i work under mr stark himself and i think nearly everything is confidential. so i legally cannot tell you that mr stark once bit a wrench because he thought he had his sandwich in that hand. seriously. legally i also cannot tell you that he once started a fire in lab 57b because he wanted to upgrade tessie to sing acdc.
864k🗨️ 1.5m⟲ 3.5m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, do you have pizza, do a flip! and 1.5m others

peter marry me @petertheintern
please i am going to pee myself laughing look at this boy just throwing tony stark under the bus like that
144🗨️ 548⟲ 760♡

just give me one day @techstark
tony stark in public: suave, cool, literally DILF material tony stark with peter: wrench good?
1.4k🗨️ 2.7k⟲ 7.6k♡

peter stark fan account @starkishisname
i would literally die for peter.
765🗨️ 2.6k⟲ 5.8k♡

Tony Stark ✓ @tonystark
thought you were bae turns out you were just fam
3.7m🗨️ 8.9m⟲ 15.7m♡
⟲ retweeted by tony stark first human second, iron friend, Tony Stark Updates and 8.9m others

peter who @peterpb
good lord @FRIDAYTHEAI you know what to do
1.3m🗨️ 2.1m⟲ 3.1m♡

the better AI ✓ @FRIDAYTHEAI
Protocol mr stark please remember you are a boomer (allinsmallcapsfriday!) initiated
987k🗨️ 3.4m⟲ 7.6m♡

peter who @peterpb
friday why did you include the words in brackets pls delete you’re embarrassing me
890k🗨️ 1.3m⟲ 4.1m♡

the better AI ✓ @FRIDAYTHEAI
You were very cute, Peter. And I have video evidence too.
2.4m🗨️ 5.1m⟲ 8.1m♡

peter stark fan account @starkishisname
excuse me uh (miss? mr?) friday can we please have that video evidence
42🗨️ 671⟲ 918♡

Tony Stark ✓ @tonystark
Wait, since when were you given permission controls to Friday? And since when did you make a verified Twitter account for MY AI?
2.4m🗨️ 6.8m⟲ 10.4m♡

peter who @peterpb
sorry can’t reply my keyboard is glitching
2.1m🗨️ 7.1m⟲ 11.1m♡

the main character ✓ @samwilson
SOMEONE TELL ME WHY THE HELL IS MR BOOMBASTIC PLAYING ON REPEAT IN STARK TOWER IT HAS BEEN 15 TIMES I AM GOING INSANE
1.5m🗨️ 4.8m⟲ 5.9m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter who, peter stark fan account, i saw spidey fell off a building once and 4.8m others

Barton ✓ @hawkeye
Sorry can’t relate I took off my airpods
1.1m🗨️ 1.3m⟲ 2.5m♡

Bucky Barnes ✓ @jamesbucky
for god sake that’s not how the meme works barton and stop calling your hearing aids airpods they are NOT airpods
1.5m🗨️ 3.4m⟲ 6.9m♡

the main character ✓ @samwilson
can we go back to the whole mr boombastic being played loudly over the speakers in stark tower
951k🗨️ 1m⟲ 1.5m♡

Tony Stark ✓ @tonystark
PETER. PARKER. STOP THE SONG RIGHT NOW. @peterpb
2.5m🗨️ 5.9m⟲ 6.8m♡

peter who @peterpb
sorry can’t see my screen is on 0% brightness
1.4m🗨️ 9.1m⟲ 14.2m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, peterbp daily, spiderman x nyc fanfic when and 9.1m others

Natasha ✓ @blackwidow
Peter.
938k🗨️ 4.5m⟲ 7.1m♡

peter who @peterpb
oh wow look suddenly my phone brightness is back to normal haha @FRIDAYTHEAI disable protocol mr stark pls remember you are a boomer
1.3m🗨️ 2.3m⟲ 4.4m♡

the better AI ✓ @FRIDAYTHEAI
Protocol mr stark please remember you are a boomer (allinsmallcapsfriday!) disabled, Peter.
654k🗨️ 816k⟲ 1m♡

Tony Stark ✓ @tonystark
I’m going to have to revoke your admin access to Friday, bambino.
2.5m🗨️ 6.4m⟲ 9.1m♡

peter who @peterpb
haha you can’t because @FRIDAYTHEAI loves me
1.3m🗨️ 3.5m⟲ 6.2m♡

the better AI ✓ @FRIDAYTHEAI
That is true, Peter. I do love you.
708k🗨️ 1.4m⟲ 4.8m♡

Tony Stark ✓ @tonystark
I am your creator.
3.1m🗨️ 5.4m⟲ 9.1m♡

peter who @peterpb
okay slow down victor frankenstein
2.5m🗨️ 13.1m⟲ 21.5m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, do you have pizza, do a flip! and 13.1m others

can I speak to the manager ✓ @KARENTHEAI
so apparently peter made a twitter account for another AI and it’s true when they say that its always gonna be the closest one to you
786k🗨️ 854k⟲ 976k♡

peter who @peterpb
karen you need to stop going on knowyourmeme
564k🗨️ 854k⟲ 913k♡

can I speak to the manager ✓ @KARENTHEAI
sorry I don’t speak traitor
1.1m🗨️ 2.4m⟲ 5.1m♡

peter who @peterpb
karen you’re being overdramatic right now look at me look at me this is not you
3.1m🗨️ 12.5m⟲ 18.5m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, peterpb daily, spidey choked on a churro 413 days ago and 12.5m others

go away furry ✓ @shuri
did you just sneak in a pick me girl dialogue in there and think I WONT NOTICE
541k🗨️ 781k⟲ 984k♡

peter who @peterpb
shuri! are you finally done with that experiment?
235k🗨️ 546k⟲ 776k♡

go away furry ✓ @shuri
peter! yup, reply my texts yt boy.
451k🗨️ 544k⟲ 676k♡

can I speak to the manager ✓ @KARENTHEAI
peter you are not the pick me girl you think you are you don’t even play sports
365k🗨️ 1.4m⟲ 5.1m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter who, peter stark fan account, peterbp daily, peter best boi and 1.4m others

peter who @peterpb
et tu brute?
598k🗨️ 718k⟲ 890k♡

peter who @peterpb
everyone’s been asking and yes I made that protocol for mr stark and yes its sole purpose is to blast mr boombastic in stark tower and no, i don’t know who mr boombastic is but mr stark does so that’s all that matters
1.5m🗨️ 3.7m⟲ 4.1m♡
⟲ retweeted by tony stark first human second, guy in the chair, boo tennessee, peter stark fan account and 3.7m others

tony stark doormat (real) @tstarkstan
peter, i’d die for you.
423🗨️ 540⟲ 986♡

peter who @peterpb
please don’t.
789k🗨️ 1.4m⟲ 3.6m♡

peter who @peterpb
im not asking for much but does anyone want to be a sea otter with me in our next lives
2.5m🗨️ 8.1m⟲ 11.3m♡
⟲ retweeted by tony stark doormat (real), pepperony daily, peter stark fan account and 8.1m others

spiderman x nyc fanfic when @spideyfromyoutube
why do you want to be a sea otter
59🗨️ 14k⟲ 25k♡

peter who @peterpb
sea otters hold each other’s paws when they sleep so they won’t drift apart and I just want that for me is that so wrong its so cute im going to die
5.7m🗨️ 10.3m⟲ 17.1m♡
⟲ retweeted by i am adopted ✓, peter stark fan account, spiderman x nyc fanfic when, do a flip! and 10.3m others

Tony Stark ✓ @tonystark
Go to sleep, bambino. It’s past your bedtime and you have a History test tomorrow.
4.1m🗨️ 6.5m⟲ 10.5m♡

peter who @peterpb
who needs history when it’s all written by victors give me the real deal!!!!! give me the bad things the “good ones” do too!!!!
4.6m🗨️ 16.5m⟲ 20.1m♡
⟲ retweeted by peterpb daily, do you have pizza, do a flip! and 16.5m others

Tony Stark ✓ @tonystark
I’m taking your phone away.
987k🗨️ 2.1m⟲ 5.5m♡

peter who @peterpb
omg no im already sleeping I promise I am just sleep tweeting right now haha wow so wild who knew right
742k🗨️ 1.5m⟲ 2.9m♡

Tony Stark ✓ @tonystark
Goodnight everyone. Peter says goodnight too.
4.5m🗨️ 9.1m⟲ 14.8m♡
⟲ retweeted by Tony Stark Updates, pepperony daily, e=mc2 and 9.1m others

Chapter Text

peter who @peterpb
isn’t it just wild that there are people out there who are anti vaxxers but then believe in a talking orange? no offence i’d rather die by science than have a trump 2024 bumper sticker.
1.7m🗨️ 3.6m⟲ 7.6m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, do you have pizza, do a flip! and 3.6m others

peter who @peterpb
if you’re really an anti vaxxer with the definition of it being a science experiment, you better hope that I don’t find out that you take paracetamol for your migraines and headaches. no vaccines, no paracetamol. just natural selection your way out of life.
934k🗨️ 3.1m⟲ 7.1m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, peter best boi, guy in the chair and 3.1m others

peter best boi @sunpeter
can someone make merchandise with the words “no vaccines, no paracetamol” please I beg
341🗨️ 1k⟲ 2.4k♡

peter stark fan account @starkishisname
can we please talk about the trump 2024 bumper sticker and talking orange shade god I love this boy
654🗨️ 1.7k⟲ 4.1k♡

i saw spidey fell off a building once @spideyonesie
this tweet gives off spidey vibes
134🗨️ 943⟲ 1.1k♡

Pepper Potts ✓ @pepperpotts
Why did I suddenly get an email about a lawsuit from trump industries @peterbp? Care to enlighten me?
4.5m🗨️ 6.6m⟲ 11.4m♡

peter who @peterpb
don’t worry mom I think it’s just someone who’s bitter he looks like a talking orange
2.4m🗨️ 8.1m⟲ 10.5m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, Queen Pepper Potts, pepperony daily and 8.1m others

peter who @peterpb
I mean ms pepper not mOM omg finger might have slipped hahaha fat fingers
4.4m🗨️ 10.1m⟲ 13.4m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, Queen Pepper Potts, pepperony daily and 10.1m others

Queen Pepper Potts @pepperstan
LET PETER CALL PEPPER MOM! PLEASE I BEG! WHY IS HE SO CUTE IM GOING TO CRY #LetPeterCallPepperMom
321🗨️ 15k⟲ 35k♡

Pepper Potts Daily @pottsdaily
Why is peter such a cinnamon roll he really said his finger slipped HELP why is he so adorable #LetPeterCallPepperMom
14.2k🗨️ 345k⟲ 589k♡

pepperony daily @dailypepperony
LOOK AT THE ADORABLE STARK FAMILY WITH DAD TONY MOM PEPPER AND SON PETER #LetPeterCallPepperMom
194k🗨️ 634k⟲ 713k♡

guy in the chair @nedleeds
this makes the whole mr dad situation a little bit funnier @blackdahlia
12🗨️ 10⟲ 15♡

don't call me mj | blm @blackdahlia
hey @peterpb remember when you called stark mr dad when we were on facetime only to say haha no what dad father figure I meant bother figure
451🗨️ 623k⟲ 912k♡

peterbp daily @dailypeterbp
bother figure HELP he really quoted B99 as he should please how cute is that let me give peter all my love #LetPeterCallPepperMom
12k🗨️ 432k⟲ 781k♡

Col. James Rhodes ✓ @warmachine
Why did I come back to Stark Towers only to see Tony and Pepper sobbing whilst holding their phones?
4.5m🗨️ 8.6m⟲ 15.3m♡

Col. James Rhodes ✓ @warmachine
Okay never mind, I’ve seen it and now all I can remember is the first time he subconsciously called them mom and dad in front of me when we were talking about dinner plans. He also called me Uncle Rhodey, so I guess I am his favourite uncle. Right nephew @peterbp?
5.8m🗨️ 9.1m⟲ 14.2m♡

Barton ✓ @hawkeye
I think you spelled favourite uncle wrong. It’s obviously me.
1.2m🗨️ 3.4m⟲ 5.2m♡

Bucky Barnes ✓ @jamesbucky
He said I was his favourite uncle yesterday.
2m🗨️ 5.7m⟲ 9.1m♡

Barton ✓ @hawkeye
That was just because you gave in to his puppy eyes and bought him pizza for dinner. I’m his general favourite.
3m🗨️ 6.1m⟲ 11.1m♡

Col. James Rhodes ✓ @warmachine
He didn’t write his essay on heroes in your daily life on you two B-squared. Check. Mate.
8m🗨️ 12.1m⟲ 25m♡

Barton ✓ @hawkeye
YOU HAD AN ESSAY ON HEROES AND YOU DIDN’T WRITE ME?! @peterbp
2.1m🗨️ 4.1m⟲ 8.4m♡

Bucky Barnes ✓ @jamesbucky
Puke out the pizza now, Parker. @peterbp
2.4m🗨️ 7.7m⟲ 12.4m♡

Tony Stark ✓ @tonystark
So apparently MY SON wrote about his Uncle Rhodey for a school essay on heroes in his daily life but not me. The betrayal is absolutely mind-blowing. I can’t believe this is happening to me. Utterly bamboozled. I can literally feel my heart shattering into tiny pieces on the floor.
14.5m🗨️ 19.7m⟲ 22.4m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, tony stark first human second, do a flip! and 19.7m others

the main character ✓ @samwilson
we get it tony, you were in theatre in high school.
2.1m🗨️ 2.8m⟲ 4.4m♡

wanda from fairly odd parents ✓ @scarletwitch
cannot believe that this is the guy named @PeopleMagazine's Sexiest Man Alive for four years in a row and counting.
2.5m🗨️ 3.7m⟲ 4.9m♡

peter who @peterbp
we all know that just meant he is all looks and no talent. dAD please you’re being such a drama queen. you know I wrote about you too. you read my paper.
5.6m🗨️ 12.8m⟲ 14.9m♡
⟲ retweeted by pepperony daily, spiderman x nyc fanfic when, peter marry me and 12.8m others

Pepper Potts ✓ @pepperpotts
He has it framed in his office, honey.
8.6m🗨️ 16.8m⟲ 20.9m♡
⟲ retweeted by pepperony daily, Queen Pepper Potts, his webs come out of his wrists your honour and 16.8m others

peter who @peterpb
@ god if I knew having parents just meant being embarrassed by them on the internet; I would have stayed an orphan /j /s
934k🗨️ 3.1m⟲ 7.1m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, peter best boi, do you have pizza and 3.1m others

do a flip! @spooderman
it’s the dark humour for me, love it here.
12🗨️ 13k⟲ 18.1k♡

his webs come out of his wrists your honour @hesticksonwalls
just think peter using tone indicators is very sexy of him. might have to replace spidey with him.
37🗨️ 16k⟲ 21.3k♡

spiderman x nyc fanfic when @spideyfromyoutube
spidey is literally peter wdym
146k🗨️ 151k⟲ 214k♡

his webs come out of his wrists your honour @hesticksonwalls
explain???????
89k🗨️ 110k⟲ 132k♡

spiderman x nyc fanfic when @spideyfromyoutube
gen z.
82k🗨️ 132k⟲ 174k♡

his webs come out of his wrists your honour @hesticksonwalls
valid.
64k🗨️ 91k⟲ 113k♡

tony stark first human second @ilovetonystark
TONY FRAMED PETER’S PAPER IN HIS OFFICE I LITERALLY CANNOT WITH THIS MAN HE IS SHOWING SUCH DAD VIBES PLEASE TONE IT DOWN ANTHONY
13k🗨️ 24k⟲ 38k♡

the fe girl @feisiron
who knew all I needed was dad tony to make my daddy issues pop up once more
3k🗨️ 11k⟲ 49k♡

tony stark doormat (real) @tstarkstan
might have to maim sigmund freud when I see him in hell for allowing me to see this tweet
4.1k🗨️ 7.3k⟲ 9.1k♡

peter stark fan account @starkishisname
LSJFNSFDS SIGMUND FREUD IS THAT YOU
132🗨️ 1.1k⟲ 1.5k♡

do you have pizza @petergiggles
alexa play daddy issues by demi lovato
32🗨️ 178⟲ 191♡

Steve Rogers ✓ @captamerica
Entered the living room only to see Peter bundled up in a blanket fort whilst aggressively highlighting multiple stacks of paper. Worried.
1.1m🗨️ 4.5m⟲ 7.1m♡

the main character ✓ @samwilson
He tried to give himself a papercut just now only to be disappointed. Hilarious.
14.1k🗨️ 27.3k⟲ 59.1k♡

wireless charging only ✓ @VISION
He went up to me only to asked if I can charge him up with electric juice. Concerned.
11.5k🗨️ 17.9k⟲ 18.4k♡

i am adopted ✓ @lokilaufeyson
We already have alternatives just in case he doesn’t make it, like forcefully take over the world. Excited.
15.7k🗨️ 24.9k⟲ 28.4k♡

peterbp daily @dailypeterbp
anyone has any idea what’s going on with peter??? the avengers tweets are hilarious but worrying??? still didn’t stop me from laughing till milk snorted out of my nostrils though.
38k🗨️ 142k⟲ 164k♡

spidey choked on a churro 413 days ago @neighbourhoodspidey
spidey culture. he too will snort out milk.
141k🗨️ 271k⟲ 594k♡

spiderman x nyc fanfic when @spideyfromyoutube
didn’t that happen after he ate that churro.
1.5k🗨️ 3.1k⟲ 4.6k♡

peter best boi @sunpeter
I SAW THAT VIDEO ON TIKTOK AND I COULDN’T STOP LAUGHING I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK. BUT ALSO I’D BE SO VALID IF THAT WAS THE LAST THING I SEE BEFORE DEATH.
1.3k🗨️ 2.4k⟲ 4.7k♡

just give me one day @techstark
ok but have you seen the video compilation of spidey fails but it’s played over the powerpuff girls theme song
145🗨️ 14k⟲ 18k♡

his webs come out of his wrists your honour @hesticksonwalls
KJSNLDFKDS I SAW THAT ONE PLEASE HOW DID IT FIT SO WELL HE LITERALLY HIT THE BUILDINGS ON BEAT I COULDN’T BREATHE
1.1k🗨️ 2.7k⟲ 3.2k♡

Bucky Barnes ✓ @jamesbucky
Can someone please explain to me why kids kept on saying they can’t breathe when they are actually breathing? In my time, you’d already be dead.
1.4m🗨️ 1.6m⟲ 1.7m♡

peter who @peterbp
ohmygod bucky you can’t just ask people why they’re not breathing
3.1m🗨️ 5.8m⟲ 7.1m♡

King Thor of Asgard ✓ @thorodinson
I KNOW THAT REFERENCE. ITS FROM THE PINK WEDNESDAY MOVIE THAT STARKSON LOVES WATCHING.
2.5m🗨️ 3.8m⟲ 4.5m♡

wanda from fairly odd parents ✓ @scarletwitch
I’ll take it. #PINKWEDNESDAYMOVIE
2.1m🗨️ 3.5m⟲ 4.2m♡

peter who @peterbp
whoever decided to create the SAT and ACT, i hope that you sleep in a cold bed every night and your pillow is always lumpy.
3.4m🗨️ 5.6m⟲ 6.7m♡

guy in the chair @nedleeds
WHAT DO YOU MEAN SAT AND ACT YOU’RE KIDDING I THOUGHT YOU WERE KIDDING
125🗨️ 1.4k⟲ 1.7k♡

betty who? @bbrant
SAT AND ACT? peter, we literally JUST started sophomore year.
10🗨️ 15⟲ 38♡

peter who @peterbp
did I say SAT and ACT haha no what i meant was English.
12k🗨️ 17k⟲ 25k♡

don't call me mj | blm @blackdahlia
You’re such a bad liar. @bbrant, he is taking his SAT and ACT this summer break and is on track to go to MIT immediately after.
2k🗨️ 5.1k⟲ 8.4k♡

peter who @peterbp
IM TOO STUPID FOR MIT MJ I WILL FAIL BOTH THE SAT AND ACT I JUST KNEW IT I WILL FAIL AND THEN I WILL HAVE TO DROP OUT AND I WILL BE A HERMIT AND HOMELESS. A HERMIT MJ, A HERMIT!
2.7m🗨️ 11.3m⟲ 18.5m♡

wireless charging only ✓ @VISION
he got the theatrics from you @tonystark
876k🗨️ 1.3m⟲ 1.5m♡

Tony Stark ✓ @tonystark
as he should. (also stop worrying bambino. you’re already on an advanced placement track to MIT with your grades anyway. the SAT/ACT are just optional standardised tests)
4.6m🗨️ 8.3m⟲ 10.5m♡

peterbp daily @dailypeterbp
PETER IS A SOPHOMORE AND IS ALREADY TAKING SAT?! WAIT AND ACT?!
257🗨️ 1.4k⟲ 2.8k♡

peter best boi @sunpeter
oh to be a genius. i can barely tie my shoelaces.
46🗨️ 831⟲ 1.1k♡

boo tennessee @harleyk
god has favourites and it shows.
32🗨️ 83⟲ 131♡

iron friend @ironfan
yeah okay he is taking his sat/act but can we talk about him already being on an ADVANCED PLACEMENT TRACK TO MIT WITH JUST HIS HIGH SCHOOL GRADES. excuse me what the actual heck.
132🗨️ 283⟲ 431♡

guy in the chair @nedleeds
peter: maintaining a 4.35 GPA average even when most of his classes are AP classes in a STEM school
also peter: googoogaga im so stupid im going to fail
@peterbp
657🗨️ 1.8k⟲ 2.4k♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, peter best boi, tony stark doormat (real) and 1.8k others

theflashmob @callmeflash
why do you have to call him out like that leeds also wtf I didn’t know he has a 4.35 average no wonder he doesn’t get reprimanded for missing out acadec
82🗨️ 182⟲ 541♡

don't call me mj | blm @blackdahlia
That’s why you’re the first alternate, Eugene.
42🗨️ 82⟲ 141♡

peter stark fan account @starkishisname
peter: apple of everyone’s eyes
me: a disappointment
482🗨️ 1.5k⟲ 4.1k♡

i saw spidey fell off a building once @spideyonesie
I feel like I need to go study now. Then I realised that I’m already working.
12🗨️ 24⟲ 48♡

peter best boi @sunpeter
I just think. Peter Parker for President. SCREW MIT. TAKE OVER AMERICA INSTEAD. /j
1.5k🗨️ 1.8k⟲ 2.1k♡

peter who @peterbp
guys please I am very small. And I have no money. So you can imagine the kind of stress that I am under.
543k🗨️ 1.5m⟲ 2.7m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, peter best boi, tony stark doormat (real) and 1.5m others

go away furry ✓ @shuri
and I said “no” you know, like a liar.
386k🗨️ 1.8m⟲ 4.1m♡

peter who @peterbp
just cause you’re accurate doesn’t mean you’re interesting.
485k🗨️ 1.9m⟲ 3.4m♡

go away furry ✓ @shuri
do my friends hate me or do I just need to go to sleep?
786k🗨️ 2.8m⟲ 4.1m♡

peter who @peterbp
sleep.
485k🗨️ 1.1m⟲ 2.4m♡

Chapter Text

peter who ✓ @peterbp
stubbing my toe and having to cut off my whole leg will be my villain story /j
2.7m🗨️ 5.6m⟲ 10.1m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, do you have pizza, do a flip! and 5.6m others

don’t call me mj | blm @blackdahlia
You literally leave Twitter for months and this is YOUR first tweet after being verified?
31🗨️ 1.4k⟲ 2.1k♡

peter stark fan account @starkishisname
WELCOME BACK PETER!!!!! ALSO CONGRATULATIONS ON BEING VERIFIED!!!! #PETERBPVERIFIED
341🗨️ 1.6k⟲ 2.8k♡

guy in the chair @nedleeds
peter this is so cool wtf you’re famous now!!! #PETERBPVERIFIED
27🗨️ 1.5k⟲ 3.1k♡

peter best boi @sunpeter
CONGRATULATIONS PETER #PETERBPVERIFIED
423🗨️ 1.1k⟲ 2.1k♡

i saw spidey fell off a building once @spideyonesie
look at him go that’s my bestie! #PETERBPVERIFIED
153🗨️ 1.8k⟲ 2.3k♡

Tony Stark ✓ @tonystark
Well well well, look who is finally verified and it only took you 7 months. Congratulations bambino @peterbp. #PETERBPVERIFIED
2.7m🗨️ 11.6m⟲ 20.4m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, do you have pizza, do a flip! and 11.6m others

Pepper Potts ✓ @pepperpotts
Congratulations darling @peterbp. Don’t forget to use this only for good things. #PETERBPVERIFIED
2.1m🗨️ 9.4m⟲ 15.1m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, do you have pizza, do a flip! and 9.4m others

the fe girl @feisiron
tony calling peter pet names in italian really make me feel things like damn daddy
142🗨️ 1k⟲ 1.1k♡

tony stark doormat (real) @tstarkstan
mom it’s that sigmund freud loving daddy issues person again pick me up im scared
32🗨️ 2.1k⟲ 3.5k♡

e=mc2 @sciencegeek
yes i too would love to eradicate sigmund freud haha stark industries don’t be shy create a time travelling machine please
12🗨️ 1.5k⟲ 2.3k♡

peter who ✓ @peterbp
WAIT WDYM I AM VERIFIED???!!!! EXCUSE ME TWITTER???? WHY DID YOU VERIFY ME EVEN???? DO YOU JUST VERIFY EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING???? APART FROM BEING A DISAPPOINTMENT, WHAT HAVE I DONE??? @Twitter @jack
4.6m🗨️ 11.9m⟲ 15.1m♡
⟲ retweeted by peterbp daily, spiderman x nyc fanfic when, his webs come out of his wrists your honour and 11.9m others

go away furry ✓ @shuri
just accept it white boy
1.4m🗨️ 3.6m⟲ 6.1m♡

i am adopted ✓ @lokilaufeyson
i mean technically i invaded new york but i still got verified so really anyone who gets media headlines get verified i think
2.9m🗨️ 9.6m⟲ 14.3m♡

peter who ✓ @peterbp
I’m not in the media headlines though as in I don’t think so @lokilaufeyson
1.5m🗨️ 7.6m⟲ 15.1m♡

peterbp daily @dailypeterbp
haha so who is going to tell him what buzzfeed literally wrote about him days ago
132🗨️ 1.6k⟲ 3.8k♡

do you have pizza @petergiggles
you were literally name dropped on buzzfeed
117🗨️ 1.3k⟲ 2.4k♡

peter who ✓ @peterbp
okay yeah cool I’ve been namedropped as buzzfeed but:
1) anyone can submit writings to buzzfeed
2) i am only worthy once my name is published on a scientific journal

thank you.
4.5m🗨️ 19.6m⟲ 24.3m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter best boi, tony stark first human second, just give me one day and 19.6m others

theflashmob @callmeflash
you’re such a nerd parker
12🗨️ 19⟲ 24♡

peter who ✓ @peterbp
thank you for stating the obvious flash I never knew that
34k🗨️ 135k⟲ 354k♡

don't call me mj | blm @blackdahlia
Relatable. I too won’t feel like I am worthy until my name is published on Forbes’ World’s 100 Most Powerful Women list
57🗨️ 179⟲ 348♡

guy in the chair @nedleeds
I don’t need my name to be published I will just be happy if I can hack into the pentagon
257🗨️ 1k⟲ 2.1k♡

peter who ✓ @peterbp
ohmygod ned you can’t just say that on the internet
476k🗨️ 3.4m⟲ 8.1m♡

guy in the chair @nedleeds
hypothetically peter, I said I won’t be able to do it
341🗨️ 927⟲ 1k♡

peter who ✓ @peterbp
no ned, you said CAN hack which means you’ve TRIED
947k🗨️ 1.4m⟲ 3.7m♡
⟲ retweeted by do a flip!, e=mc2, criminal minds comeback when and 1.4m others

don't call me mj | blm @blackdahlia
You’re just making it worse, Peter. The two of you are hopeless.
364🗨️ 716⟲ 1k♡

peter who ✓ @peterbp
he said he DID NOT do it mj. read between the lines.
1.1m🗨️ 3.4m⟲ 8.2m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, the fe girls, peter best boi and 3.4m others

betty who? @bbrant
Midtown News Headlines tomorrow: Ned Leeds, extraordinaire Pentagon hacker? Peter Parker, an accomplice?
2.7m🗨️ 5.6m⟲ 10.1m♡

peter who ✓ @peterbp
anyways, now that I’m verified(!!!) who’s up for a Q&A? i’m supposed to be looking after the house but I think @FRIDAYTHEAI has that sorted! ask your burning questions and I will reply them if I want to! mj says i should use a hashtag so #ASKPETERBP
5.4m🗨️ 11.9m⟲ 24.8m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, peterbp daily, peter marry me and 11.9m others

tony stark doormat (real) @tstarkstan
HOW WERE YOUR SAT AND ACT GENIUS PETER #ASKPETERBP
1.2k🗨️ 3.4k⟲ 4.8k♡

peter who ✓ @peterbp
they went well thank you for asking! i thought the science ones were pretty easy and i managed to take a nap for at least half an hour!!! science and sleep is definitely my favourite combination. #ASKPETERBP
784k🗨️ 1.4m⟲ 3.8m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, tony stark doormat (real), peterbp daily and 1.4m others

wanda from fairly odd parents ✓ @scarletwitch
I don’t think that is what normal people do during their ACT, Peter.
143k🗨️ 1.4m⟲ 5.3m♡

pepperony daily @dailypepperony
Do you have a cute Pepperony moment that you can share? #ASKPETERBP
854k🗨️ 941k⟲ 1.1m♡

peter who ✓ @peterbp
i don’t know if i can say this but i will say it anyway because mom loves me and dad can’t do anything about it. every time dad is late to meet mom at the company (either if it’s a meeting or just a quick visit before he goes to the labs), he will always bring her favourite coffee from starbucks with her favourite almond croissant. EVERY TIME. he is whipped your honour. #ASKPETERBP
3.1m🗨️ 7.1m⟲ 11.4m♡
⟲ retweeted by pepperony daily, peter stark fan account, peterbp daily and 7.1m others

 

iron friend @ironfan
What weird food combinations do you really enjoy? #ASKPETERBP
123🗨️ 3.4k⟲ 6.7k♡

peter who ✓ @peterbp
i don’t think it’s weird but I love dipping my sweet potato fries in pancake syrup (maple syrup, brown sugar, powdered sugar). dad looks disgusted though which is why I keep on doing it in front of him. #ASKPETERBP
1m🗨️ 7.3m⟲ 11.3m♡
⟲ retweeted by iron friend, peter stark fan account, peterbp daily and 7.3m others

the fe girl @feisiron
What movie can you watch over and over without ever getting tired of? #ASKPETERBP
185🗨️ 3.9k⟲ 6.2k♡

peter who ✓ @peterbp
STAR WARS!!!!!!!!!! #ASKPETERBP
2.7m🗨️ 5.6m⟲ 10.1m♡
⟲ retweeted by the fe girl, peter stark fan account, peterbp daily and 5.6m others

 

Tony Stark Updates @tstarkfc
What’s the most epic way you’ve seen someone quit or be fired in Stark Industries? #ASKPETERBP
24k🗨️ 85k⟲ 104k♡

peter who ✓ @peterbp
i’ve never seen that but I saw a lot of breakdowns in the intern labs which usually just results in dad bringing out all the blankets and forcing everyone to have a movie night. Intern Movie Night is the best although i’m not allowed to choose the movie anymore 🥺 #ASKPETERBP
4.1m🗨️ 14.9m⟲ 24.3m♡
⟲ retweeted by Tony Stark updates, peter stark fan account, peterbp daily and 14.9m others

 

tony stark first human second @ilovetonystark
What is the last photo or screenshot you have on your phone? #ASKPETERBP
234🗨️ 756⟲ 1.3k♡

peter who ✓ @peterbp
dad i’m sorry but it’s this one #ASKPETERBP

5.3m🗨️ 25.6m⟲ 42.5m♡
⟲ retweeted by tony stark first human second, peter stark fan account, peterbp daily and 25.6m others

 

peterbp daily @dailypeterbp
How does it feel to be verified? #ASKPETERBP
1.3k🗨️ 2.7k⟲ 4.1k♡

peter who ✓ @peterbp

#ASKPETERBP
126k🗨️ 928k⟲ 1.4m♡
⟲ retweeted by peterbp daily, peter stark fan account, do you have pizza and 928k others

 

peter stark fan account @starkishisname
HOW CLOSE ARE YOU WITH THE AVENGERS? ALSO I LOVE YOU PETER!!! #ASKPETERBP
285k🗨️ 390k⟲ 638k♡

peter who ✓ @peterbp
I mean they do live in the compound so I see them nearly everyday. Except for Thor and Loki who lives mostly in Asgard. I love you too btw 🤍 #ASKPETERBP
1.3m🗨️ 4.9m⟲ 14.2m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, do you have pizza, peter best boi and 4.9m others

 

peter marry me @petertheintern
I have nothing to ask but I am currently in BIG despair because I am flunking science. I guess I will just drop out. Please give me some encouragement or advice! #ASKPETERBP
2.9k🗨️ 4.8k⟲ 8.1k♡

peter who ✓ @peterbp
It is okay if you are just flunking science because your strengths and interests may lie elsewhere!!! In this world, you don’t have to be book smart to survive although it’s a huge bonus the moment you leave school. Also just remember that you have to stay in school because you are not rich enough to not look at price tags whilst shopping!! You can do it!! I believe in you!! #ASKPETERBP
1.5m🗨️ 13.9m⟲ 25.3m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter marry me, peter stark fan account, peterbp daily and 13.9m others

 

peter best boi @sunpeter
Do you have a pet? #ASKPETERBP
129🗨️ 578⟲ 912♡

peter who ✓ @peterbp
No, I don’t but I would love to have one! A dog would be best 🥺 pspspspspspsps @tonystark @pepperpotts please 🥺 #ASKPETERBP
1m🗨️ 2.6m⟲ 5.8m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter best boi, peter stark fan account, peterbp daily and 2.6m others

 

do you have pizza @petergiggles
What’s the craziest conversation you’ve overheard? #ASKPETERBP
164k🗨️ 472k⟲ 817k♡

peter who ✓@peterbp
its normal around the tower but i always think its super crazy about how @lokilaufeyson and @thorodinson argue about where loki stabs thor. instead of saying can you please just stop stabbing me, thor will always go “can’t you stab somewhere else that is not (body part stabbed today)?” #ASKPETERBP
2.7m🗨️ 8.6m⟲ 15.1m♡
⟲ retweeted by do you have pizza, peter stark fan account, peterbp daily and 8.6m others

spiderman x nyc fanfic when @spideyfromyoutube
Do you know spider-man????? #ASKPETERBP
47k🗨️ 192k⟲ 378k♡

peter who ✓ @peterbp
i do! he is not an avenger though but he comes to the tower to get his shooters upgraded! #ASKPETERBP
743k🗨️ 1.3m⟲ 3.8m♡
⟲ retweeted by spiderman x nyc fanfic when, peter stark fan account, peterbp daily and 1.3m others

 

i saw spidey fell off a building once @spideyonesie
Latest 10 songs on your playlist right now! #ASKPETERBP
25k🗨️ 59k⟲ 79k♡

peter who ✓ @peterbp
please do not say anything about my music taste but currently its:
all too well (10 minute version) (taylor’s version) (from the vault) by taylor swift, easy on me by adele, save your tears by the weeknd, ghost by bieber, heartbreak anniversary by giveon, at my worst feat kehlani by pink sweat$, lonely by bieber, heather by conan grey, i wish i never met you by oh wonder, sweater weather by the neighbourhood

YES I AM BASIC SO WHAT #ASKPETERBP
3.6m🗨️ 11.9m⟲ 30.4m♡
⟲ retweeted by i saw spidey fell off a building once, peter stark fan account, peterbp daily and 11.9m others

 

spidey choked on a churro 426 days ago @neighbourhoodspidey
Can you ask Spidey if he will ever have a social media account? #ASKPETERBP
48k🗨️ 85k⟲ 104k♡

peter who ✓ @peterbp
he said he’s thinking about it! #ASKPETERBP
748k🗨️ 1m⟲ 2.4m♡
⟲ retweeted by spidey choked on a churro 426 days ago, peter stark fan account, peterbp daily and 1m others

 

his webs come out of his wrists your honour @hesticksonwalls
ARE YOU THE STARK HEIR #ASKPETERBP
125k🗨️ 394k⟲ 879k♡

peter who ✓ @peterbp
I DON’T KNOW BUT I AM JUST CHILLING HERE #ASKPETERBP
1m🗨️ 2.4m⟲ 5.8m♡
⟲ retweeted by his webs come out of his wrists your honour, peter stark fan account, peterbp daily and 2.4m others

 

criminal minds comeback when @heatherx
If you had to choose between Tony Stark and Bruce Banner, who would it be? #ASKPETERBP
12k🗨️ 89k⟲ 203k♡

peter who ✓ @peterbp
scientifically or emotionally? because both will have different answers here. #ASKPETERBP
1m🗨️ 3.4m⟲ 7.3m♡
⟲ retweeted by criminal minds comeback when, peter stark fan account, peterbp daily and 3.4m others

 

e=mc2 @sciencegeek
Who is your favourite avenger? #ASKPETERBP
9k🗨️ 14k⟲ 24.3k♡

peter who ✓ @peterbp
and with that i bid adieu, thank you everyone! #ASKPETERBP
1.5m🗨️ 5.6m⟲ 9.1m♡
⟲ retweeted by e=mc2, peter stark fan account, peterbp daily and 5.6m others

 

Chapter Text

peter who ✓ @peterbp
just imagining the faces of world leaders when Wakanda opens their borders. utterly splendid. will have to ask @shuri to make sure I’m connected to the live feed once that happens in the future.
1.7m🗨️ 3.6m⟲ 7.6m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, do you have pizza, do a flip! and 3.6m others

go away furry ✓ @shuri
or we can just bully stark and my brother to allow you to be there when it happens
1m🗨️ 2.4m⟲ 5.2m♡
⟲ retweeted by iron friend, e=mc2, peter best boi and 2.4m others

peter who ✓ @peterbp
how does it feel to be so smart and powerful?
1m🗨️ 3m⟲ 6.4m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, do you have pizza, do a flip! and 3m others

go away furry ✓ @shuri
pretty darn good now bow down to me.
924k🗨️ 2.3m⟲ 5.1m♡
⟲ retweeted by just give me one day, do you have pizza, gay for shuri and 2.3m others

peter who ✓ @peterbp
i have named every single goat in Wakanda so I am now the All-Father. on my way to throw Heimdall off his game and WINNING.
5.6m🗨️ 12m⟲ 18m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, spiderman x nyc fanfic when, you are all stupid aliens don't exist and 12m others

do a flip! @spooderman
there are goats in Wakanda????
52🗨️ 152⟲ 204♡

peter who ✓ @peterbp
yeah and my favourite is goaty stank cause he is such a little shit.
7m🗨️ 9.1m⟲ 10m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, the fe girl, irondad is real and 9.1m others

iron friend @ironfan
*chokes on my spit* did you just say goaty stank as in… t-t-tony stark?
27🗨️ 198⟲ 242♡

peter who ✓ @peterbp
how dare you. his name is GOATY STANK not whoever that was you just typed.
5.8m🗨️ 12.3m⟲ 16.8m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter marry me, peter best boi, spideywho? and 12.3m others

go away furry ✓ @shuri
my new favourite thing in the world is seeing goaty stank and tchagoat fighting and @peterbp going STANK AND TCHAGOAT WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING in front of their namesakes
1.7m🗨️ 3.6m⟲ 7.6m♡
⟲ retweeted by if not science then what, criminal minds comeback when, loki me confused and 3.6m others

tony stark first human second @ilovetonystark
i am twenty six and i shouldn’t find the name of goats funny but here i am laughing on the floor
126🗨️ 389⟲ 511♡

Prince T’challa ✓ @kingofwakanda
Sister, please delete this.
2.3m🗨️ 4.1m⟲ 6.6m♡

go away furry ✓ @shuri
No. Also tchagoat wants to sleep in your room tonight.
1m🗨️ 3m⟲ 4m♡
⟲ retweeted by shuri said so, what is wakanda, e=mc2 and 3m others

peter who ✓ @peterbp
when my baby goats are making friends >>>>
3m🗨️ 9.4m⟲ 10.2m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, do you have pizza, peter is sunshine and 9.4m others

Tony Stark ✓ @tonystark
Who told me it was a good idea to bring Peter to Wakanda? Literally begging for someone to take me away from all this.
11.9m🗨️ 15m⟲ 17.8m♡
⟲ retweeted by tony stark first human second, Tony Stark Updates, hourly tony stark and 15m others

Col. James Rhodes ✓ @warmachine
It was you. You said he would love it.
1m🗨️ 1.3m⟲ 2.6m♡

Tony Stark ✓ @tonystark
And he is loving it! But I just found three new grey hairs on myself today. THREE, platypus! THREE!
10.7m🗨️ 13.6m⟲ 17.9m♡
⟲ retweeted by tony aged like fine wine, pepperony married, peter is a stark? and 13.6m others

his webs come out of his wrists your honour @hesticksonwalls
dad energy ^
101🗨️ 304⟲ 413♡

peter who ✓ @peterbp
after spending my time in Wakanda and going to all of the ‘important’ meetings and conferences, i am pleased to say that i have made a decision. i am going to conquer a country and call it peterland. king black panther tchalla sir better watch out.
10.1m🗨️ 11.4m⟲ 15.2m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, peter of the day, spidey choked on a churro and 11.4m others

guy in the chair @nedleeds
peter please tell me you are conquering wakanda and i am going to be a part of your government please i am begging
42🗨️ 100⟲ 195♡

peter who ✓ @peterbp
of course, i have it all worked out. i will be president and @blackdahlia will be prime minister. @shuri will be R&D minister and you will be the defense minister. I just need to find other ministers and peterland will be born!
11.7m🗨️ 15.9m⟲ 18.1m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter marry me, peter best boi, shuri peter besties and 15.9m others

don't call me mj | blm @blackdahlia
Prime Minister? That means I make the laws right?
32🗨️ 100⟲ 123♡

peter who ✓ @peterbp
of course, mj! i am merely a figurehead whilst you are the power.
8.4m🗨️ 9m⟲ 11.2m♡
⟲ retweeted by peterland real?, do a flip!, the fe girl and 9m others

don't call me mj | blm @blackdahlia
Where’s the contract? I will sign.
231🗨️ 412⟲ 829♡

go away furry ✓ @shuri
THANK YOU SO MUCH WHITE BOI FOR MAKING ME RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT MINISTER. MY FIRST LAW IS THAT IT IS MANDATORY FOR EVERYONE IN PETERLAND TO HAVE THEIR OWN LIGHTSABERS.
3.2m🗨️ 5.9m⟲ 7.1m♡
⟲ retweeted by shuri says so, peter who ✓, wakanda is real and 5.9m others

peter who ✓ @peterbp
granted!
4.1m🗨️ 4.9m⟲ 6.1m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, do aliens eat pizza, puppy peter parker and 4.9m others

KING OF PETERLAND ✓ @peterbp
PETERLAND ANNOUNCEMENT:
currently opening minister positions for agriculture, economy, education, energy, health and human services, homeland security, housing and urban development, interior, labour, transportation and treasury departments.

RULES:
must be following @peterbp and must be gen z
use the hashtag #PeterlandMinisterHiring #Peterland
deadline: 20 April 2022, 2359H (EST)

#Peterland
18.4m🗨️ 24.5m⟲ 30.8m♡
⟲ retweeted by go away furry ✓, guy in the chair, don't call me mj | blm and 24.5m others

The Daily Bugle ✓ @dailybugle
Peter Stark: from illegal bastard to war-inducing conquerer? Read more here. #Peterland
500k🗨️ 650k⟲ 850k♡

KING OF PETERLAND ✓ @peterbp
The only war I will get into is with you daisy bubble HMPH
104k🗨️ 598k⟲ 901k♡

peter marry me @petertheintern
WAR-INDUCING LMAOOOO ONLY WAR HE INDUCED IS HIRING AND GIVING GEN Z JOBS ON TWITTER
100🗨️ 278⟲ 410♡

i saw spidey fell off a building once @spideyonesie
y’all just mad no one is jumping to get hired by your company
149🗨️ 398⟲ 718♡

Buzzfeed ✓ @Buzzfeed
A law for everyone to own lightsabers? Sign me up! Read more about Peterland, the new country Peter Parker is hoping to develop here. #Peterland
1.9m🗨️ 8.6m⟲ 9.3m♡
⟲ retweeted by KING OF PETERLAND ✓, peter stark fan account, peterland real!!!! and 8.6m others

spidey choked on a churro @neighbourhoodspidey
Hi Peter, I was born in 2001 so I am Gen Z. I would like to apply for the minister position of the economy department. The first thing I will do is to provide higher minimum wage for everyone and for everyone to get equal pay. BECAUSE WOMEN DESERVE TO BE PAID THE SAME AS MEN. Thank you for listening and I hope to hear from you soon.
#PeterlandMinisterHiring #Peterland
1k🗨️ 2.4k⟲ 3.5k♡

boo tennessee @harleyk
My resume: I shot Tony Stark with a potato gun once in my garage. Naturally, I will make a good minister of homeland security.
#PeterlandMinisterHiring #Peterland
1.9k🗨️ 4.1k⟲ 7.9k♡

peterbp daily @dailypeterbp
HIRE ME PLEASE PETER I CAN WORK AS ANYTHING AND YOU ONLY HAVE TO PAY ME IN COFFEE. #PeterlandMinisterHiring #Peterland
946🗨️ 1.4k⟲ 2.9k♡

do you have pizza @petergiggles
PETER YOU CAN FIND MY RESUME HERE -> petergiggles.carrd.co
PLEASE HIRE ME I AM A STRUGGLING FRESH GRADUATE IN MEDICINE.
#PeterlandMinisterHiring #Peterland
870🗨️ 1k⟲ 1.4k♡

you are all stupid aliens don’t exist @govtbrainwashedus
OK BUT WILL PETERLAND’S GOVERNMENT ALLOW FREE SPEECH #Peterland
67🗨️ 108⟲ 429♡

peter stark fan account @starkishisname
IDK HOW TO BE A MINISTER BUT I KNOW I WILL BE BETTER THAN THE CURRENT ORANGE PRESIDENT SO PLEASE HIRE ME
#PeterlandMinisterHiring #Peterland
1.9k🗨️ 3.1k⟲ 3.5k♡

betty who? @bbrant
Peter @peterbp, I demand a news channel on my own. #PeterlandMinisterHiring #Peterland
42🗨️ 109⟲ 204♡

criminal minds comeback when @heatherx
not many people are applying for transportation minister, so I shall shoot my shot. hey peter, please see this rough sketch of interstate trains that I created for peterland to ensure affordable and fast transport for all citizens. #PeterlandMinisterHiring #Peterland

130🗨️ 350⟲ 728♡

The New York Times ✓ @NYTimes
From its initial idea to #Peterland hiring decisions, we talked to Prof. John Doe on the possibility of developing a new country made up entirely of Generation Z.
1.4m🗨️ 3.9m⟲ 8m♡

the fe girl @feisiron
SHUT UPPPPPPP WHY IS THIS TAKEN TOO SERIOUSLY I AM CACKLING #Peterland
102🗨️ 231⟲ 491♡

tony stark doormat (real) @tstarkstan
PETER WHAT HAVE YOU DONE I AM GOING INSANE OMG HAHAHAHAHHA #Peterland
120🗨️ 301⟲ 486♡

Worldwide Trends

1 • News • Trending Worldwide
#Peterland
569K Tweets

2 • News • Trending Worldwide
#PeterlandMinisterHiring
499K Tweets

3 • News • Trending Worldwide
LIGHTSABERS IN PETERLAND
309K Tweets

Pepper Potts ✓ @pepperpotts
Can someone explain to me how a trip to Wakanda caused my son to cause a worldwide internet meltdown?
2.1m🗨️ 5.3m⟲ 8.8m♡
⟲ retweeted by pepperony updates, Queen Pepper Potts, hourly peter and 5.6m others

Chapter Text

KING OF PETERLAND ✓ @peterbp
guess who just got lectured by his dad in the wakanda throne room and can just feel the dora milaje staring at you getting scolded by a tiny american man 😔 yeah, me 😔
1.7m🗨️ 3.6m⟲ 7.6m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, do you have pizza, do a flip! and 3.6m others

peter stark fan account @starkishisname
what is a dora milaje
41🗨️ 542⟲ 610♡

KING OF PETERLAND ✓ @peterbp
only the coolest bunch of personal bodyguards ever like they can stab me in the throat with their spears and I would say thank you queens it is an honour
1m🗨️ 3m⟲ 6.4m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, peter marry me, aliens do not exist and 3m others

Tony Stark ✓ @tonystark
peter, no.
2.5m🗨️ 5.3m⟲ 7.1m♡
⟲ retweeted by just give me one day, do you have pizza, irondad is real and 5.3m others

go away furry ✓ @shuri
peter, yes. also okoye said thank you but she would never stab you in the throat
784k🗨️ 1.3m⟲ 3.8m♡
⟲ retweeted by princess shuri can step on my face, bisexually bipolar, shuri fan account and 1.3m others

KING OF PETERLAND ✓ @peterbp
tell her I’m not picky so it doesn’t have to be my throat!!! But okoye is so sweet!!! imagine not stabbing me when I said she can!!! <3333
974k🗨️ 2.6m⟲ 4.5m♡
⟲ retweeted by i saw spidey fell off a building once, his webs come out of his wrists your honour, e=mc2 and 2.6m others

tony stark first human second @ilovetonystark
honestly this boy is so endearing but in a cute and scary way at the same time, I don’t really know how to describe him. I just imagine a small golden retriever but with so much influence and power whenever I see his tweets.
54🗨️ 1.5k⟲ 3.7k♡

peter marry me @petertheintern
Okay but so is #Peterland still going to be a thing or did adults ruin that for us just like how they ruined housing
178🗨️ 1.9k⟲ 3.4k♡

i saw spidey fell off a building once @spideyonesie
NEED TO KNOW IF #PETERLAND WILL STILL BE ONGOING BECAUSE LIGHTSABERS MAN!! LIGHTSABERS!!
96🗨️ 1.1k⟲ 1.7k♡

the fe girl @feisiron
Hey @peterpb so like haha are we having #Peterland because I will need to pack if all is good
14🗨️ 70⟲ 146♡

KING OF STARBUCKS ✓ @peterbp
hello everyone. unfortunately #Peterland will not be a thing anytime soon (dad said give it a few more years!!!) but I am pleased to announce that as of today, I am the proud owner and CEO of Starbucks. yes that’s right friends!! I am now the reason why no one in corporate america has dropped dead during their monday meetings!! dad said I need to learn how to handle a small company first before governing a country so don’t worry we are just taking baby steps!!

(also anyone who is currently working at @Starbucks please let me know what can be done better and which store you are from, of course customers are welcome too! please use #StarbucksFromScratch)
1.5m🗨️ 6.9m⟲ 8.3m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, boo tennessee, peterbp daily and 6.9m others

Starbucks Coffee ✓ @Starbucks
Welcome Peter to the family! We are so excited to see the change you will bring as the new CEO and we can’t wait to see you in the office next week ☕️
1.4m🗨️ 3.4m⟲ 6.9m♡
⟲ retweeted by KING OF STARBUCKS ✓, Tony Stark ✓, Pepper Potts ✓ and 6.9m others

betty who? @bbrant
peter what the fuck
13🗨️ 80⟲ 106♡

criminal minds comeback when @heatherx
absolutely crying at how tony stark says starbucks is a small company absolutely mad lad
27🗨️ 198⟲ 242♡

his webs come out of his wrists your honour @hesticksonwalls
so like tony stark just one day called up starbucks and bought it????? feeling like my brain needs a reboot cause this is probably a dream
48🗨️ 158⟲ 210♡

Tony Stark ✓ @tonystark
shouldn’t you first of all change the name to STARKBUCKS @peterpb
5.8m🗨️ 12.3m⟲ 16.8m♡
⟲ retweeted by the fe girl, tony stark stan first human second, peter is a stark your honour and 12.3m others

peter who ✓ @peterbp
sorry I don’t feel the need to stamp my name all over buildings to show my dominance unlike someone
3.5m🗨️ 7.3m⟲ 10.1m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter marry me, peter best boi, peter stark fan account and 7.3m others

go away furry ✓ @shuri
yes get them jade!
874k🗨️ 1.1m⟲ 3.1m♡

iron friend @ironfan
hey @peterbp I’m from the albertsons colorado springs store and idk if you heard but starbucks might start closing down their open-to-all public bathrooms but can you just leave it as it is? or even build more bathrooms? #StarbucksFromScratch
14🗨️ 209⟲ 316♡

no i did not hear you @tiredbarista
we are currently severely understaffed and sometimes we can be out of hot coffee and iced coffee. LIKE HOW DOES THAT WORK WHEN WE ARE A COFFEE STORE??? please do something about this!!! I’m at the town square ketchum store #StarbucksFromScratch
46🗨️ 359⟲ 517♡

darius @darius1423
everyday my starbucks app tell me every store around me is out of lemonade or oat milk but when I go to my nearest store and order either of them, they can make it without any problem. perhaps this can be looked into #StarbucksFromScratch
28🗨️ 208⟲ 367♡

naha @nahmaybenot
my trans healthcare coverage might be taken away as I am working at a store that plans to unionise. please if you can look into this as most of my colleagues are queer with many of us relying on trans healthcare @peterbp #StarbucksFromScratch
20🗨️ 389⟲ 496♡

spider-man’s significant other (real) @thespouseofspidey
I couldn’t order my starbucks online this week because of apparently technical problems. It lasted for nearly 4 days and I nearly k*lled myself because I didn’t have my coffee for exam week #StarbucksFromScratch
58🗨️ 739⟲ 917♡

L.N. @lovenotsarah
Idk about yall but I had a sandwich bag problem where my sandwich fell through the bottom of the bag. Like damn my $8 sandwich just slipped through the cracks and is now on the floor. Faulty gluing I think. #StarbucksFromScratch
31🗨️ 513⟲ 740♡

i have no time for you @climatesun
JUST PLEASE HIRE MORE PEOPLE I AM AT MY WITS END I AM ON THE VERGE OF MY 497TH BREAKDOWN THIS WEEK AT WORK #StarbucksFromScratch
70🗨️ 419⟲ 547♡

chaz (taylor’s version) @archivetaylor
can you have more stores because there isn’t one in my city :( #StarbucksFromScratch
91🗨️ 375⟲ 634♡

guy in the chair @nedleeds
came back from a 50mins nap only to see that my best friend is now the owner of starbucks like honestly what the hell peter I thought you said starbucks was an abomination and all they do is con people like us into buying their drinks
594🗨️ 1.5k⟲ 3.8k♡

KING OF STARBUCKS ✓ @peterbp
in my defense, I have a starbucks problem and I just KNOW they make their drinks irresistible as much as possible. like its not my budgeting that’s wrong but its a starbucks problem
4.7m🗨️ 6.8m⟲ 9.1m♡

don't call me mj | blm @blackdahlia
considering you can buy at least 4-5 starbucks coffee on a normal day, i think you are the problem
142🗨️ 317⟲ 548♡

KING OF STARBUCKS ✓ @peterbp
damn can’t believe I’m being called out for purchasing drinks from MY OWN company like how am I supposed to know what’s good and what’s not if I don’t try them myself??? the shade from my friends is unreal and I am feeling so emotionally attacked
4.8m🗨️ 6.8m⟲ 7.2m♡
⟲ retweeted by tony aged like fine wine, pepperony married, peter is a stark? and 6.8m others

peter best boi @sunpeter
we stan a king who purchases his own company’s products!!!! only for the money to be back in his bank!!! we stan a capitalist king!!!
14🗨️ 25⟲ 58♡

do a flip! @spooderman
Petition for Spider-Man to get free Starbucks every time he is on patrol please because he deserves such nice things @peterbp #FREESTARBSFORSPIDEY
148🗨️ 349⟲ 876♡

spiderman x nyc fanfic when @spideyfromyoutube
OMG PLEASE I ALWAYS SEE SPIDER-MAN JUST CHILLING ON THE ROOFTOP WITH HIS CHURRO BUT NO DRINKS!!! WHAT IF HE CHOKES ON THE CHURRO!!!! GIVE MY SPIDEY HIS FREE STARBUCKS!!! #FREESTARBSFORSPIDEY
148🗨️ 349⟲ 876♡

i saw spidey fell off a building once @spideyonesie
maybe if spidey gets free starbucks he will no longer fall off buildings during his patrol at night and then pretend that didn’t happen and just walk it off #FREESTARBSFORSPIDEY
102🗨️ 205⟲ 413♡

spidey choked on a churro 538 days ago @neighbourhoodspidey
if spidey gets free starbucks everyday then maybe he will STOP casually taking out bullets from his wounds and bandage them in dark alleys cause PLEASE there is only so many times I can see him doing that in front of my eyes when I go out for smoke breaks during my night shifts!!! my heart honestly can’t take it #FREESTARBSFORSPIDEY
795🗨️ 901⟲ 1.3k♡

his webs come out of his wrists your honour @hesticksonwalls
hoping for spidey to get free starbucks!!! perhaps then he won’t feel so shy to take all the free stuff we, the residents of Queens, have been trying to give him!! like cmon spidey you really won’t take the pizza I am offering you eventhough I can hear your stomach rumbling from my window???? #FREESTARBSFORSPIDEY
239🗨️ 482⟲ 650♡

do aliens eat pizza @heyaliens
maybe with free starbucks, spidey will actually look like he is FED. istfg my nanna wanted to adopt him the moment she saw him because quote “he is just skin and bones, Roderick!” #FREESTARBSFORSPIDEY
42🗨️ 174⟲ 298♡

e=mc2 @sciencegeek
let’s petition for spidey to get free starbucks!! please @peterbp!!! #FREESTARBSFORSPIDEY
20🗨️ 42⟲ 61♡

just give me one day @techstark
if spidey does get free starbucks, that will be the third food store he gets free food from! delmar’s sandwiches, churros from the adorable old lady from the churro stand and starbucks #FREESTARBSFORSPIDEY
140🗨️ 375⟲ 749♡

wanda from fairly odd parents ✓ @scarletwitch
i just think that before you give free starbucks to anyone else, IT WOULD BE BEST THAT YOU GIVE YOUR SISTER IN EVERYTHING BUT BLOOD FREE STARBUCKS FIRST I THINK @peterbp or else what is the use of having a younger brother!!!! give me my free starbucks!!! i want my white chocolate mocha every day if i can!!! #FREESTARBSFORWANDA
539k🗨️ 1.5m⟲ 4.8m♡

do not call me harold ✓ @harryosborn
can’t believe @peterbp is now the CEO and owner of starbucks goddamnit, I’m gonna have to go to Gloria Coffee’s now or something I can’t be seen fraternising with the enemy (pspsps peter can you please put a starbucks at the corner of Oscorp please thank you I will pay you in bitcoin)
2.4m🗨️ 3.8m⟲ 5.4m♡

KING OF STARBUCKS @peterbp
harry I cannot believe you just outed us as friends on twitter like this please I do not know you we do not know each other we do not exist in the same timeline this is all an illusion haha dr strange you can stop fooling around now who is harry what is oscorp what even is starbucks
3.1m🗨️ 6.4m⟲ 8.4m♡

⟲ retweeted by peter marry me, peter best boi, shuri peter besties and 6.4m others

can I speak to the manager ✓ @KARENTHEAI
I cannot believe that my creator, the one and only @peterbp, is currently gay panicking on Twitter just because his crush actually mentioned him ONCE. #peterbpgaypanic
692k🗨️ 814k⟲ 910k♡

the better AI ✓ @FRIDAYTHEAI
how does @KARENTHEAI know about @peterbp’s crush before I do???? i am literally the first AI he knew?? is this what they call betrayal??? #peterbpgaypanic
731k🗨️ 839k⟲ 852k♡

KING OF STARBUCKS ✓ @peterbp
my ears are tingling i can feel it someone is talking about me omg it is so hard to be famous and influential that people can’t help but talk and spread rumours about me. i do not have a crush pls sorry what is a crush is that food haha who is harry sorry idk any harry idk who you are talking about haha what crush lol you are all so funny i am laughing
8.4m🗨️ 9m⟲ 11.2m♡
⟲ retweeted by peterland real?, do a flip!, the fe girl and 9m others

Tony Stark ✓ @tonystark
WHAT IS THIS ABOUT MY SON HAVING A CRUSH? EXCUSE ME HE IS ONLY A TINY CUCCIOLO. HE SHOULD NOT BE HAVING CRUSHES OR *shudders* EVEN LIKING PEOPLE!!! PETER BENJAMIN ANSWER MY CALLS RIGHT NOW OR YOU ARE GROUNDED!
10.4m🗨️ 14.7m⟲ 16.2m♡

Stark Industries ✓ @starkindustries
Upon further notice, @tonystark and @peterbp accounts will be locked. Thank you.
3.2m🗨️ 5.9m⟲ 7.1m♡
⟲ retweeted by do not call me harold ✓, go away furry ✓, boo tennessee and 5.9m others

Worldwide Trends

1 • News • Trending Worldwide
#FREESTARBSFORSPIDEY
324K Tweets

2 • News • Trending Worldwide
#FREESTARBSFORWANDA
289K Tweets

3 • News • Trending Worldwide
PETERBP GROUNDED
314K Tweets

Chapter Text

can I speak to the manager ✓ @KARENTHEAI
day 1 of @peterbp being locked out of his twitter account and he is now doing mathematics papers to ease the boredom. #PETERBPLOCKDOWN
1.7m🗨️ 3.6m⟲ 7.6m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, do you have pizza, do a flip! and 3.6m others

i have no time for you @climatesun
excuse me karen but did you say mathematics papers???? to ease his boredom????
3🗨️ 15⟲ 29♡

don't call me mj | blm @blackdahlia
tell him that I’ve sent him additional acadec packets so he can do those instead karen please thank you
10🗨️ 24⟲ 35♡

do you have pizza @petergiggles
can peter stop being the son that my mom wants because ngl I am feeling so underdeveloped right now
41🗨️ 542⟲ 610♡

peter best boi @sunpeter
you mean underappreciated?
23🗨️ 293⟲ 413♡

spiderman x nyc fanfic when @spideyfromyoutube
no she meant underprepared
32🗨️ 412⟲ 632♡

i saw spidey fell off a building once @spideyonesie
i don’t think so I think she is just being underground
41🗨️ 249⟲ 347♡

do a flip! @spooderman
nah she underwater
20🗨️ 148⟲ 294♡

tony stark first human second @ilovetonystark
this whole thread is cursed
49🗨️ 301⟲ 518♡

can I speak to the manager ✓ @KARENTHEAI
day 2 of @peterbp being locked out of his twitter account and he has gone on a project binge in lab 39b. #PETERBPLOCKDOWN
1.7m🗨️ 3.6m⟲ 7.6m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, tony stark first human second, peter marry me and 3.6m others

yes I intern at stark industries and no I am not alive @fcukingscience
hi @KARENTHEAI I am supposed to be doing my project in lab 39b so can you… uh… open the doors?
54🗨️ 104⟲ 149♡

can I speak to the manager ✓ @KARENTHEAI
apologies! peter rarely allows anyone to go into the lab when he is in and he doesn’t know your project is in there. you can enter the lab now!
202🗨️ 462⟲ 792♡

yes I intern at stark industries and no I am not alive @fcukingscience
uh thank you karen…
31🗨️ 79⟲ 91♡

can I speak to the manager ✓ @KARENTHEAI
day 3 of @peterbp being locked out of his twitter account. stark interns please do not be surprised if your projects have been reviewed earlier this month because peter was bored last night. #PETERBPLOCKDOWN
1.7m🗨️ 3.6m⟲ 7.6m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, the fe girl, criminal minds comeback when and 3.6m others

yes I intern at stark industries and no I am not alive @fcukingscience
he revamped the whole wiring for my project yesterday and it is actually working so much better in the past five months I’ve had it!!!! 😫 tysm @peterbp for being a tiny genius!
54🗨️ 104⟲ 149♡

intern number 666 probably @voclanofire
baffled my whole team when we saw someone changed our formula on the board overnight only for it to make the project be seamless??? we’ve been arguing about the formula for weeks and one tiny boy appeared and just?? proved us all wrong?? istfg I will never get over this embarrassment I shouldn’t be called an intern atp
150🗨️ 204⟲ 275♡

guy in the chair @nedleeds
don’t worry buddy. there will be more moments to come. keep your head up and always remember that you’re not dumb, peter is just a genius.
382🗨️ 568⟲ 817♡

can I speak to the manager ✓ @KARENTHEAI
day 4 of @peterbp being locked out of his twitter account. he have decided to learn how to make gelato. #PETERBPLOCKDOWN
1.7m🗨️ 3.6m⟲ 7.6m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, peter marry me, when will peter come back and 3.6m others

can I speak to the manager ✓ @KARENTHEAI
day 5 of @peterbp being locked out of his twitter account and he is still learning how to make gelato. #PETERBPLOCKDOWN
1.7m🗨️ 3.6m⟲ 7.6m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, can i have one thor-gasm, dilf tony is the best thing to happen this year and 3.6m others

can I speak to the manager ✓ @KARENTHEAI
day 6 of @peterbp being locked out of his twitter account. I think he is planning world domination through selling gelato. #PETERBPLOCKDOWN
1.7m🗨️ 3.6m⟲ 7.6m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, science geek but not really, alientwt sciencetwt beef happened 4 months ago and 3.6m others

do aliens eat pizza @heyaliens
okay but how do you plan world domination through selling gelato
170🗨️ 402⟲ 620♡

guy in the chair @nedleeds
make a mind control serum that you can then use as one of the ingredients for the gelato. when someone eats the gelato, the chemicals from the mind control serum will switch the chemicals in your brain till all you can recognise is just peter and you will do whatever he says. i think that was the gist of it when he tried explaining it to me over the phone.
2.6k🗨️ 4.5k⟲ 7.9k♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, do aliens eat pizza, e=mc2 and 4.5k others

betty who? @bbrant
NEDWARD WHAT THE FUCK.
104🗨️ 259⟲ 405♡

go away furry ✓ @shuri
sounds cool, I guess I am in. will just have to figure out with elements are edible for the serum before we move forward with testing. #allforscience
532k🗨️ 790k⟲ 1.5m♡

e=mc2 @sciencegeek
scientifically speaking, this sounds hella cool. morally speaking, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE.
1.7m🗨️ 3.6m⟲ 7.6m♡

can I speak to the manager ✓ @KARENTHEAI
day 7 of @peterbp being locked out of his twitter account and I actually have a feeling that he will be learning how to parkour soon if he is not allowed access to his twitter account. #PETERBPLOCKDOWN
1.7m🗨️ 3.6m⟲ 7.6m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, do a flip!, i saw spidey fell of a building once and 3.6m others

do not call me harold ✓ @harryosborn
it feels like forever since @peterbp has spammed my twitter DMs with cute animal videos that he finds on the timeline 😔 when will he be back because I desperately need to know if he will put a starbucks store at the corner of oscorp like im literally dying here because I kept on going to gloria jeans #PETERBPLOCKDOWN
2.5m🗨️ 4.9m⟲ 8.1m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, harry osborn official fanclub, peter stark fan account and 4.9m others

wanda from fairly odd parents ✓ @scarletwitch
you are literally on facetime with him right now harold so you can just ask him about it
3.1m🗨️ 5.4m⟲ 8.1m♡

can I speak to the manager ✓ @KARENTHEAI
it’s only been 7 days harold
2.6m🗨️ 4.1m⟲ 5.9m♡

just give me one day @techstark
excuse me what does the scarlet witch means that they are on facetime I am sorry but what timeline are we in?????
142🗨️ 204⟲ 289♡

peter stark fan account @starkishisname
flabbergasted at this point. Is this the enemies to lovers trope we have all been waiting for? oscorp x stark industries fanfic when???? @ au writers in the fandom
301🗨️ 391⟲ 517♡

criminal minds comeback when @heatherx
who cares about the old oscorp-stark feud when you have the future CEOs probably canoodling and will officially make their last names be hyphenated anyway?
140🗨️ 196⟲ 231♡

can I speak to the manager ✓ @KARENTHEAI
I would love to show everyone a video of Peter squealing into his pillow the moment he got off facetime with Harold but I don’t think I will because I value my life. #PETERBPLOCKDOWN
1.7m🗨️ 3.6m⟲ 7.6m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, harry osborn official fanclub, harry x peter real??? and 3.6m others

tony stark first human second @ilovetonystark
ms karen I will pay you 2 dollars for the picture only pls thx
140🗨️ 196⟲ 231♡

boo tennessee @harleyk
i will take that 2 dollars do u pay in cash or bitcoin
205🗨️ 289⟲ 349♡

tony stark first human second @ilovetonystark
cash please let me mail it to you in an envelope with your address written in crayon
185🗨️ 201⟲ 259♡

boo tennessee @harleyk
alright i will be waiting for my mail to arrive before i release the photo
309🗨️ 382⟲ 410♡

tony stark first human second @ilovetonystark
here you go

190🗨️ 248⟲ 310♡

boo tennessee @harleyk
accepted.
203🗨️ 274⟲ 305♡

iron friend @ironfan
WHERE IS BOO TENNESSEE WITH OUR PROMISED PETER’S PICTURE ITS BEEN TWO MINUTES
40🗨️ 94⟲ 210♡

the fe girl @feisiron
OMG @ilovetonystark THAT WAS A SCAM YOU JUST LOST TWO DOLLARS AND AN ENVELOPE WITH AN ADDRESS WRITTEN IN CRAYON
320🗨️ 592⟲ 719♡

tony stark first human second @ilovetonystark
DID…. I JUST FALL VICTIM TO MY VERY FIRST ONLINE SCAM????? @harleyk PLS RESPOND OR IM GOING TO CALL THE POLICE
593🗨️ 849⟲ 1.4k♡

do you have pizza @petergiggles
CANT BELIEVE YOU GOT SCAMMED OF THE ENVELOPE WITH AN ADDRESS WRITTEN IN CRAYON @ilovetonystark I AM SO SORRY
239🗨️ 502⟲ 729♡

peter best boi @sunpeter
shouldn’t it be about the two dollars instead of the envelope
438🗨️ 523⟲ 619♡

do you have pizza @petergiggles
no it’s about the envelope written in crayon who cares about the two dollars that’s just paper from trees
293🗨️ 498⟲ 853♡

boo tennessee @harleyk
sorry guys I don’t have the photo anymore, peter just wiped off my phone database including my cloud and im busy running after him now brb
1.4k🗨️ 2.8k⟲ 3.2k♡

do a flip! @spooderman
wait wdym you are running after him??? are you with peter now? im sorry but how are you related to peter?? I am so confused because I just thought you’re someone from tennessee
13🗨️ 40⟲ 62♡

you are all stupid aliens don’t exist @govtbrainwashedus
the more you know about peter and the people around him, the more questions you have honestly I mean weren’t we introduced to him literally by the official stark industries twitter account but okay who is harleyk
102🗨️ 242⟲ 289♡

his webs come out of his wrists your honour @hesticksonwalls
instead of asking who harleyk is can I ask how peter wiped off a phone’s database AND the cloud? kinda need it for science.
79🗨️ 103⟲ 158♡

boo tennessee @harleyk
came back on twitter with no phone database no cloud database no two dollars no envelope written in crayon no photo of peter but a trending hashtag of people wanting to know who i am. see when you are the main character #WHOISHARLEYK
1.8k🗨️ 2.5k⟲ 3.4k♡

UN-GROUNDED YES THAT IS ME ✓ @peterbp
keep quiet 5s, an 11 is speaking and he is BACK. #PETERBPCOMEBACK
1.9m🗨️ 4.7m⟲ 8.6m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, peter marry me, peterbp daily and 4.7m others

Worldwide Trends

1 • Entertainment • Trending Worldwide
#PETERBPCOMEBACK
284K Tweets

2 • Entertainment • Trending Worldwide
#WHOISHARLEYK
138K Tweets

3 • Lifestyle • Trending Worldwide
PETERBP UNGROUNDED
92K Tweets

Chapter Text

just give me one day @techstark
look i know we always joke about peter being mini stark but the way he goes online to tweet only one thing before disappearing for months is literally tony stark behaviour and i will die on this hill. like excuse me peter where are you i miss you. also it's #SpotifyWrapped season and he CANNOT miss this or he could actually be disowned as a gen z-er like who ever heard of a gen z missing spotify wrapped season????
14🗨️ 24⟲ 89♡

peter stark fan account @starkishisname
where is @peterbp i need to know if he is cool #SpotifyWrapped
301🗨️ 391⟲ 517♡

criminal minds comeback when @heatherx
the fact that my top artist is mozart and my top 5 songs consist of mozart and led zeppelin just tells me something.
4🗨️ 16⟲ 21♡

tony stark first human second @ilovetonystark
that you have issues?
12🗨️ 41⟲ 63♡

criminal minds comeback when @heatherx
that i have range.
43🗨️ 130⟲ 201♡

boo tennessee @harleyk
if i didn't know that i was gay, my top 5 songs on #SpotifyWrapped would have told me. thanks @Spotify.

no one might care but my top 5 songs are tongue by mnek, preacher by years and years, mine by vincint, him by sam smith and lucky strike by troye sivan. thank you for these gay anthems queens.
205🗨️ 289⟲ 349♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, a harleyk stan, harry x peter real??? and 286 others

tony stark first human second @ilovetonystark
you're so valid boo tennessee eventhough you scammed me of an envelope with the address written in crayon
140🗨️ 196⟲ 231♡

do you have pizza @petergiggles
do not remind me of that scam please i still have the heebie-jeebies cause it's my first time being a witness to a crime
239🗨️ 502⟲ 729♡

the fe girl @feisiron
mine by vincint is a bop. your music taste is so valid boo tennessee. surprised there was no country music but i guess i shouldn't judge someone from their display name yeah? lesson learned i guess.
320🗨️ 592⟲ 719♡

peter best boi @sunpeter
even his display name is a scam cause how dare he use tennessee but have no country music? he is really using tennessee's name in vain /hj
438🗨️ 523⟲ 619♡

boo tennessee @harleyk
just wanted to share my spotify wrapped but instead i'm getting cyberbullied
105🗨️ 489⟲ 510♡

UN-GROUNDED YES THAT IS ME ✓ @peterbp
harley kept on complaining that he is being cyberbullied so i am here to say - deserved. @harleyk

(also i'm so sorry i forgot i had this app because my work focus is 247 switched on and it only allows notifications from certain people and apps like it's honestly never my intention to keep all of you waiting i am so sorry i just know twitter was extremely boring without me and i can do nothing but apologise and i shall stop now because i am just rambling)
1.9m🗨️ 4.7m⟲ 8.6m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, peter marry me, peterbp daily and 4.7m others

boo tennessee @harleyk
the harley slander is strong today
138🗨️ 319⟲ 402♡

peter best boi @sunpeter
golden retriever energy.
48🗨️ 61⟲ 71♡

do you have pizza @petergiggles
the way he really explained even though we don't have to know why omg pls i will protect this smol child till forever
13🗨️ 84⟲ 143♡

peter stark fan account @starkishisname
hi i love you
91🗨️ 219⟲ 395♡

do not call me harold ✓ @harryosborn
you're so cute i'm gonna have to sue stark for this
2.5m🗨️ 4.9m⟲ 8.1m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, harry osborn official fanclub, harry and peter is canon otp and 4.9m others

can I speak to the manager ✓ @KARENTHEAI
7:53pm: peter just fell on the floor after reading harold's tweet. #peterbpgaypanic
1.7m🗨️ 3.6m⟲ 7.6m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, harry osborn official fanclub, harry x peter real??? and 3.6m others

harry x peter real??? @justneedcoffeepls
SHUDDUPPPPP SCREAMING THEY ARE REALLY REAL I AM GOING TO JUMP OFF A CLIFF
140🗨️ 196⟲ 231♡

harry osborn official fanclub @harryofc
did you mean to tweet that or were you running on fumes once again @harryosborn
205🗨️ 289⟲ 349♡

peter stark official fanclub ✓ @petersfc
peter please respond to harry or we think he might actually cry @peterbp
185🗨️ 201⟲ 259♡

harry osborn official fanclub @harryofc
oh. our usernames are matching @petersfc.
310🗨️ 419⟲ 629♡

peter stark official fanclub ✓ @petersfc
y--y yes. we are matching 🥺 @harryofc
410🗨️ 518⟲ 683♡

harry osborn official fanclub @harryofc
🥺💖 @petersfc
489🗨️ 518⟲ 648♡

iron friend @ironfan
EXCUSE ME???? PETER OFFICIAL FC AND HARRY OFFICIAL FC FLIRTING??? ON MY PURE VIRGINAL SERVER???
40🗨️ 94⟲ 210♡

harry and peter is canon otp @askingforlokitostabme
LITERALLY HYPERVENTILATING RIGHT NOW. TWO NEW OTPS????? HARRY X PETER AND HARRYFC X PETERFC??????? DECEMBER IS THE MONTH OF THE GAYS THANK YOU MARIAH CAREY.
320🗨️ 592⟲ 719♡

tony stark first human second @ilovetonystark
flirting aside, how tf did @petersfc became verified when they literally joined 2 days ago
10🗨️ 98⟲ 243♡

peter stark official fanclub ✓ @petersfc
we got verified by @tonystark immediately! he DM'd us within seconds of us creating this account 😌✨
529🗨️ 819⟲ 1.2k♡

peter best boi @sunpeter
who would have thought tony stark is a helicopter parent
438🗨️ 523⟲ 619♡

do a flip! @spooderman
he has a tracker on peter's name on the web i bet and knows immediately when accounts about him are created
13🗨️ 40⟲ 62♡

his webs come out of his wrists your honour @hesticksonwalls
ohmygod he knows you exist @peterbpbiceps @peterbptongue @peterbpcheekies @peterbptoes @peterbpfingers
79🗨️ 103⟲ 158♡

peterbp finger(in-) @peterbpfingers
literally shut up. i'm going to vanish from this planet i cannot look at him anymore i'm mortified.
1.8k🗨️ 2.5k⟲ 3.4k♡

karen no. @franz219
can we please talk about your dn i'm peeing on the floor
12🗨️ 32⟲ 49♡

can I speak to the manager ✓ @KARENTHEAI
8:01pm: peter is typing. #peterbpgaypanic
2.1m🗨️ 4.5m⟲ 7.6m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark official fanclub ✓, harry osborn official fanclub, harry x peter real??? and 4.5m others

pete. ✓ @peterbp
oh. oh. haha uh oh. you're uh cute too harry 🤗 hehe uh yeah haha

do not call me harold ✓ @harryosborn
you're so cute i'm gonna have to sue stark for this
2.5m🗨️ 4.9m⟲ 8.1m♡

pete. ✓ @peterbp
also, spotifywrapped? sorry i use stark music. #STARKMUSICAPPOUTINTHREEDAYS
1.9m🗨️ 4.7m⟲ 8.6m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, peter stark official fanclub ✓, peterbp daily and 4.7m others

just give me one day @techstark
SORRY STARK WHAT??? SPOTIFY AND APPLE MUSIC MOVE OVER. STARK MUSIC IS TAKING THE CROWN. #STARKMUSICAPPOUTINTHREEDAYS #SPOTIFYWRAPPEDOVER
14🗨️ 24⟲ 89♡

Worldwide Trends

1 • Technology • Trending Worldwide
#STARKMUSICAPPOUTINTHREEDAYS
284K Tweets

2 • Lifestyle • Trending Worldwide
sorry i use stark music
138K Tweets

3 • Lifestyle • Trending Worldwide
harry osborn and peter stark
92K Tweets

Chapter Text

just give me one day @techstark
it’s 00:01 but i am already anticipating the stark music app today. most importantly what will be the difference between stark music, spotify and apple music? #STARKMUSICAPPOUTTODAY
14🗨️ 24⟲ 89♡

peter stark fan account @starkishisname
hello @peterbp where are you we are waiting for the stark music drop #STARKMUSICAPPOUTTODAY
301🗨️ 391⟲ 517♡

peter stark official fanclub ✓ @petersfc
it’s going to be a big day today and we are so excited for everyone to experience stark music for the very first time! *cough cough* we’ve already had it downloaded on our starkphone and we are loving it

#STARKMUSICAPPOUTTODAY
534🗨️ 2.9k⟲ 5.4k♡

⟲ retweeted by peter stark fan account, his webs come out of his wrists your honour, harry x peter real??? and 2.9k others

peter best boi @sunpeter
crying at how psof is winning the peter stan competition rn cause how the hell they got verified after 2 days by the tony stark himself and literally got an exclusive sneak peek of the stark music app within just a week of them having their account this is unreal
438🗨️ 2.9k⟲ 3.4k♡

what that tongue do @peterbptongue
peter works hard but psof works harder in making peter stans jealous
310🗨️ 529⟲ 849♡

tony stark first human second @ilovetonystark
wdym you already have the app on your phone?? i can’t seem to find it!
122🗨️ 441⟲ 623♡

do you have pizza @petergiggles
excuse me is this nepotism? /hj /srs
225🗨️ 5.3k⟲ 5.9k♡

peter stark official fanclub ✓ @petersfc
yes and what about it?
812🗨️ 4.7k⟲ 7.1k♡

Stark Industries ✓ @starkindustries
“It’s an unparalleled music experience!” says @harleyk on the new Stark Music. Read his full review here as he teases the new music platform that will rival both Spotify and Apple Music.
#STARKMUSICAPPOUTTODAY
1.4m🗨️ 3.7m⟲ 7.1m♡

⟲ retweeted by boo tennessee, a harleyk stan, peter stark official fanclub ✓ and 3.7m others

boo tennessee @harleyk
damn look ma i’m famous (download the app later please or peter will give me the puppy dog eyes and i absolutely cannot win when he looks at me like that) #STARKMUSICAPPOUTTODAY
1.4k🗨️ 2.3k⟲ 3.1k♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark official fanclub ✓, a harleyk stan, criminal minds comeback when and 2.3k others

the fe girl @feisiron
so are we no longer questioning how who why when what where boo tennessee comes from?
320🗨️ 592⟲ 719♡

boo tennessee @harleyk
no.
429🗨️ 839⟲ 1.3k♡

a harleyk stan @booyouwhore
look at my boy being featured on the official stark industries account! first the account, then the world
121🗨️ 225⟲ 412♡

Stark Industries ✓ @starkindustries
An admin of @petersfc reviewed Stark Music: “I was just surprised at how much more I can experience with this new platform!” Read their full review here.
#STARKMUSICAPPOUTTODAY
1.9m🗨️ 4.5m⟲ 7.9m♡

⟲ retweeted by do not call me harold ✓, harry osborn official fanclub, peter stark official fanclub ✓ and 4.5m others

maybe one day the osborns (harry) will rule @shutupharold
excuse me why did harry retweet a SI tweet especially a SI tweet that called out an admin of psof for their review excuse me harry are you hacked you know you are an oscorp boy right no matter how much we make fun of you for it but you are an osborn not a stark why are you fraternising with the enemy to this extent just for a cute boy harry wake up!!!!!!!
349🗨️ 481⟲ 631♡

harry x peter real??? @justneedcoffeepls
harry rting a si tweet about admin of psof that has no connection with him at all… hoof rting the same tweet because harry rted it… is harry the admin of psof???? omg I’ve connected the dots everyone wake up we are getting those hyphenated osborn stark surnames!!!!!!
537🗨️ 761⟲ 1.4k♡

criminal minds comeback when @heatherx
SI tweeted those two review tweets at 2pm and 4pm. it’s two hours apart so omg are we getting the release at 6pm? #STARKMUSICAPPOUTTODAY
43🗨️ 130⟲ 201♡

peter best boi @sunpeter
not peter releasing his new music app like he is releasing a kpop album at 6pm 😭😭😭
48🗨️ 61⟲ 71♡

do you have pizza @petergiggles
will he be like JYP and release it on the dot or will he be like Cube and release it 30 minutes late with no apologies 😭😭😭 please he is so funny icb
13🗨️ 84⟲ 143♡

peter stark fan account @starkishisname
if he is debuting the music app like a kpop album then where are the photo teasers, mv teasers or the scheduler? smh fake kpop fan @peterbp
91🗨️ 219⟲ 395♡

boo tennessee @harleyk
peter is pacing because he is nervous about his first baby being shown to the world and he thinks that all the reviewers are lying because we wanted him to be happy i mean it’s true we all wanted him to be happy but as if i would lie! i’m an upstanding citizen who is always honest! the audacity.
1.6k🗨️ 4.7k⟲ 6.1k♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark official fanclub ✓, do not call me harold ✓, do a flip! and 4.7k others

Stark Industries ✓ @starkindustries
We are proud to officially launch Stark Music, our very first music platform created by @peterbp!
Experience a whole new musical experience alongside your friends, communicate with your favourite artistes and enjoy virtual live concerts whilst on the go.
Download the application on StarkApp for StarkPhones, App Store for iOS and Google Play Store for Android.
#STARKMUSICAPPOUTNOW
6.4m🗨️ 10.8m⟲ 14.2m♡

⟲ retweeted by i’m a father now ✓, Tony Stark ✓, Pepper Potts ✓ and 10.8m others

tony stark first human second @ilovetonystark
who even uses iphones or androids in this era of starkphones? #STARKMUSICAPPOUTNOW
123🗨️ 417⟲ 630♡

the fe girl @feisiron
so excited I am vibrating #STARKMUSICAPPOUTNOW
30🗨️ 59⟲ 71♡

do you have pizza @petergiggles
so so so so proud of you our golden retriever peter!!!!! #STARKMUSICAPPOUTNOW
239🗨️ 502⟲ 729♡

i’m a father now ✓ @peterbp
it’s finally out!!!! my baby my pride and joy my child my everything!!!! although it is a late baby of 15 months, i am so happy that i can finally share it with all of you my peterland citizens 😭 i hope Stark Music will be your new default music platform and i can’t wait to hear what you think about it (pls be nice though or i will actually send a video of myself crying) now if you will excuse me, i am going to cry my heart out because i am overwhelmed #STARKMUSICAPPOUTNOW
2.4m🗨️ 5.3m⟲ 10.4m♡
⟲ retweeted by Stark Industries ✓, peter stark official fanclub ✓, peter stark fan account, guy in the chair and 5.3m others

Tony Stark ✓ @tonystark
So proud of you bambino, I knew you were going to do amazing things in the world.
11.8m🗨️ 13.5m⟲ 19.2m♡

Pepper Potts ✓ @pepperpotts
Congratulations, sweetie. Can’t wait to see you change the world and bring Stark Industries to greater heights.
3.1m🗨️ 7.3m⟲ 9.1m♡

peter stark official fanclub ✓ @petersfc
congrats peter! we are so proud of you and stark music is definitely a 10000/10 for us #STARKMUSICAPPOUTNOW
133🗨️ 842⟲ 923♡

guy in the chair @nedleeds
omg peter this is the best thing to ever happen to me thank you for making this possible #STARKMUSICAPPOUTNOW
91🗨️ 219⟲ 395♡

don’t call me mj | blm @blackdahlia
congrats loser you are probably going to be namedropped in a tech journal soon
155🗨️ 329⟲ 419♡

Buzzfeed ✓ @Buzzfeed
Stark Music: the new kid on the block. Read up on what makes Stark Music different from the rest and why it will be our default music application from now on! #STARKMUSICAPPOUTNOW
1.7m🗨️ 3.6m⟲ 7.6m♡
⟲ retweeted by Stark Industries ✓, i’m a father now ✓, Tony Stark ✓, Pepper Potts ✓ and 3.6m others

The New York Times ✓ @NYTimes
Technology superpower Stark Industries foraying into the music streaming industry with their launch of Stark Music. See how this expansion will cause shockwaves in the industry. #STARKMUSICAPPOUTNOW
1.1m🗨️ 2.1m⟲ 3.1m♡
⟲ retweeted by Stark Industries ✓, i’m a father now, Tony Stark ✓, Pepper Potts ✓ and 2.1m others

Billboard ✓ @BillboardMusic
Stark Music excites many as artistes can hold live events and concerts that can be exclusively streamed as well as interact with their listeners through live sessions! A revolutionary platform designed to foster a deeper connection between artistes and fans, Stark Music is not just another music streaming application. #STARKMUSICAPPOUTNOW
1.5m🗨️ 3.8m⟲ 5.4m♡
⟲ retweeted by Stark Industries ✓, i’m a father now ✓, Tony Stark ✓, Pepper Potts ✓ and 3.8m others

MTV ✓ @MTV
Independent artistes and emerging talents provided a platform to showcase their work, hold crowdfunding campaigns and promotional opportunities through Stark Music. #STARKMUSICAPPOUTNOW
2.1m🗨️ 4.1m⟲ 6.2m♡
⟲ retweeted by Stark Industries ✓, i’m a father now ✓, Tony Stark ✓, Pepper Potts ✓ and 4.1m others

do a flip! @spooderman
stark music is actually? so cool? i like how there is an AI feature that customises a playlist just from the three words that we type in. what are yalls three words? mine was spiderman has ass. #STARKMUSICAPPOUTNOW
134🗨️ 420⟲ 652♡

his webs come out of his wrists your honour @hesticksonwalls
your three words are so valid cause have you seen spidey’s ass in his spandex like damn anw my three words were sticks on walls 😭 i was even more shocked that there was a curated playlist for THAT #STARKMUSICAPPOUTNOW
79🗨️ 103⟲ 158♡

iron friend @ironfan
i can just see myself playing around with the AI customised playlist feature cause tell me how they can find songs that just fit the words I’ve been using??? even if I don’t know some of the songs but they just vibe? i customised a couple of playlists from these phrases: irondad and spideyson, stony is canon and spiderman is baby. tell me why baby shark and itsy bitsy spider appeared on the last playlist and how it just seems so fitting cause spidey IS baby 😭 #STARKMUSICAPPOUTNOW
40🗨️ 94⟲ 210♡

just give me one day @techstark
the audio is unreal I truly feel like I am at the live concert with a live band playing taylor swift surprise songs on her eras tour this is insane stark industries has done it again! #STARKMUSICAPPOUTNOW
1.4k🗨️ 2.2k⟲ 5.9k♡

Worldwide Trends

1 • Music • Trending Worldwide
#STARKMUSICAPPOUTNOW
12.4m Tweets

2 • Lifestyle • Trending Worldwide
Stark Music
10.1m Tweets

3 • Technology • Trending Worldwide
Stark Industries
9.4m Tweets

do not call me harold ✓ @harryosborn
tried using the customised playlist AI feature with the words harry and peter, so tell me how come the songs on it are all the ones you’ve been sending to me to listen to for the past few months. anything you have to say cutie @peterbp #STARKMUSICAPPOUTNOW
11.4m🗨️ 15.3m⟲ 20.4m♡
⟲ retweeted by harry osborn official fanclub, peter stark official fanclub ✓, harry and peter is canon otp and 15.3m others

harry x peter real??? @justneedcoffeepls
literally shut up you two are so cute and you guys are not even dating this is such a parasocial relationship I am in I feel like a voyeur but just date already!!!!!!
132🗨️ 492⟲ 610♡

harry osborn official fanclub @harryofc
bathing with a toaster sounds good right now
204🗨️ 719⟲ 834♡

harry and peter is canon otp @askingforlokitostabme
now all i’m thinking is smol peter choosing songs that reminds him of harry and sharing it with harry by just saying those songs are nice and that he should listen to it only for harry to not know that a playlist has already been made for him. goodbye i’m going to ikea and cry.
148🗨️ 293⟲ 483♡

Chapter Text

i'm a father now ✓ @peterbp
everyone is asking me about the status of #Peterland and look it’s supposed to be hush hush right now but i guess i will tell you guys since we are besties!!!
1.4m🗨️ 3.7m⟲ 7.1m♡
⟲ retweeted by boo tennessee, peter stark fan account, peter stark official fanclub ✓ and 3.7m others

his webs come out of his wrists your honour @hesticksonwalls
peter living a parasocial relationship with all 10 million of his followers makes me feel a bit better about myself
395🗨️ 481⟲ 631♡

do you have pizza @petergiggles
omg is this the moment when i know if i will get hired or not #Peterland
25🗨️ 58⟲ 92♡

peter stark fan account @starkishisname
it’s happening it’s happening new #Peterland lore is happening!!!!!!
294🗨️ 353⟲ 528♡

boo tennessee @harleyk
nervously anticipating if i will be hired as a #Peterland minister today
759🗨️ 1.5k⟲ 2.9k♡

i’m a father now ✓ @peterbp
hi besties, please see my presentation for our #Peterland update! so excited for you guys to join me on this journey!

presentation here -- https://shorturl.at/gt3pv
(also yes i’m still a c*nva user because stark industries has yet to get ahead of the times hey @starkindustries where is the c*nva-like platform)
3.5m🗨️ 8.9m⟲ 13.4m♡
⟲ retweeted by peter stark official fanclub ✓, boo tennessee, guy in the chair and 8.9m others

boo tennessee @harleyk
OHMYGOD I AM HIRED I AM UNEMPLOYED NO MORE THANK YOU PETER
#Peterland
1.3k🗨️ 3.9k⟲ 5.2k♡

just give me one day @techstark
hi @peterbp can i just ask when applications for Peterland Minister Hiring will close? i am currently in the middle of finals so won’t be able to brush up on my resume this week. #Peterland
91🗨️ 376⟲ 438♡

i’m a father now ✓ @peterbp
you will have until next month, 31 july 2359h (est) so you’re good! good luck on your finals techstark!
1.3k🗨️ 2.4m⟲ 4.8m♡

i’m a father now ✓ @peterbp
i just realised i outed all of my friends identities and faces omg mj is going to kill me guys how do i delete the presentation before mj or anyone else sees it
2.7m🗨️ 6.5m⟲ 8.3m♡
⟲ retweeted by boo tennessee, peterbp daily, criminal minds comeback when and 6.5m others

do you have pizza @petergiggles
peter you have 10m followers wdym before anyone else sees it
241🗨️ 398⟲ 518♡

i’m a father now ✓ @peterbp
but are any of those 10m followers who have seen it called mj?
1.8k🗨️ 4.6k⟲ 8.3k♡

don't call me mj | blm @blackdahlia
peter parker-stark.
840🗨️ 1.4k⟲ 3.7k♡

i’m a father now ✓ @peterbp
maybe i will be dead before peterland can even be born. rip me.
3.4k🗨️ 6.2k⟲ 8.1k♡

guy in the chair @nedleeds
rip dude but thanks for making me defense minister.
384🗨️ 580⟲ 793♡

The New York Times ✓ @NYTimes
Can a state be bought? We look into the claims made by Peter Stark that he received Hawaii as a birthday gift from his parents, Stark Industries CEO Pepper Potts and Iron Man Tony Stark. Read more in the link in our bio.
1.5k🗨️ 4.9k⟲ 7.2k♡
⟲ retweeted by i’m a father now ✓, Tony Stark ✓, peter stark official fanclub ✓ and 4.9k others

The Economist ✓ @TheEconomist
“How is it that someone can buy a state whilst just a few streets down we have people queuing up to get food rations?” Dr. John Smith, Columbia University’s Professor of Politics and International Relations, weighs in on the extreme wealth divide of our country, and what we can do to fix it. Read more in the link in our bio.
847🗨️ 2.3k⟲ 4.7k♡
⟲ retweeted by i’m a father now ✓, don't call me mj | blm, let me eat the rich (tony stark) and 2.3k others

The Daily Bugle ✓ @dailybugle
A new dictatorship in international politics? Peter Stark aims for world domination in Peterland presentation. Read more here.
184🗨️ 243⟲ 421♡

do not call me harold ✓ @harryosborn
why is destroy oscorp number 7 on your #Peterland agenda. what has oscorp ever done to you.
1.6m🗨️ 2.9m⟲ 3.7m♡
⟲ retweeted by harry osborn official fanclub, maybe one day the osborns (harry) will rule, harry x peter real??? and 2.9m others

i’m a father now ✓ @peterbp
exist. and experiment on spiders. but did you see the words in parentheses? i said not you, harry! never you!
1.9m🗨️ 4.7m⟲ 5.1m♡

do not call me harold ✓ @harryosborn
you’re so cute i want to keep you forever.
2.3m🗨️ 6.1m⟲ 10.4m♡

i’m a father now ✓ @peterbp
uh i’m gonna have to ask my parents and aunt if that’s possible. but why would you want to keep me when we can just always meet everyday!
2.5m🗨️ 6.5m⟲ 10.9m♡

do not call me harold ✓ @harryosborn
why are you not meeting me now then?
2.1m🗨️ 6.3m⟲ 10.7m♡

i’m a father now ✓ @peterbp
uh haha you’re so funny harry why would we meet now when we are already meeting later with our friends or do you really want to meet me now cause i’m currently in the middle of something important but i can drop it really if you want to meet i don’t mind i can just come back to doing this when we are done
2.2m🗨️ 6.4m⟲ 10.2m♡

boo tennessee @harleyk
peter i beg don’t tweet anymore you’re embarrassing me
492🗨️ 613⟲ 820♡

peter best boi @sunpeter
so many things happening today in peterlore cause wdym we get a peterland update through a canva presentation, new peter picture from a gq photoshoot, face reveals of all his friends and peter gay tripping (once again) over a harry tweet??? this is why i will never delete this app.
547🗨️ 812⟲ 1.4k♡

a harleyk stan @booyouwhore
harley face reveal on a damn canva presentation is not how i thought today would go but look at my smiley boy!!!!! THE CUTEST THE BEST LOOK AT MY NEW HOMELAND SECURITY MINISTER!!! #Peterland
154🗨️ 284⟲ 473♡

do you have pizza @petergiggles
ok but let’s bet on how long it took peter to do that canva presentation i am saying 5 minutes
273🗨️ 307⟲ 358♡

tony stark first human second @ilovetonystark
i’m saying 30 minutes because he will be too busy choosing the transitions
102🗨️ 249⟲ 398♡

peter stark fan account @starkishisname
you think too highly of him i’m saying 3 hours because not only was he too busy choosing the transitions but also because he probably got sidetracked choosing the design templates
116🗨️ 302⟲ 517♡

harry x peter real??? @justneedcoffeepls
3 hours? i would say 3 days.
294🗨️ 380⟲ 519♡

guy in the chair @nedleeds
it took him 5 days. he was busy choosing templates for 2 days. 2 days of transition choosing. 4 hours of choosing colours. 7 hours of choosing which pictures to include. and only 10 minutes to write down the information. i had to suffer through all of that when we facetimed.
517🗨️ 749⟲ 918♡

peter stark official fanclub ✓ @petersfc
New @GQMagazine photoshoot of @peterbp coming soon for the July edition! (yes they had to release the news a week in advance because someone used a photo that he shouldn’t have)
#GQJulyMagXPeterStark #PeterStark
1.8k🗨️ 3.6k⟲ 7.1k♡
⟲ retweeted by Stark Industries ✓, i’m a father now ✓, Tony Stark ✓, Pepper Potts ✓ and 3.6k others

peter stark fan account @starkishisname
GQ PHOTOSHOOT OMG PETER IN A TURTLENECK OMG HE IS SO BEAUTIFUL THANK YOU TO HIS PARENTS (REAL) FOR HIS GENES
#GQJulyMagXPeterStark #PeterStark
104🗨️ 305⟲ 615♡

criminal minds comeback when @heatherx
are we starting to use hashtags for peter now omg he really is a kpop idol yes king i shall wait for your comeback soon (is this gq photoshoot a teaser photo)
#GQJulyMagXPeterStark #PeterStark
283🗨️ 548⟲ 716♡

what that tongue do @peterbptongue
heather not everything has to be about kpop
192🗨️ 617⟲ 847♡

criminal minds comeback when @heatherx
leave me and my 4291739 kpop husbands alone, tongue
492🗨️ 817⟲ 1.4k♡

Tony Stark ✓ @tonystark
Technically, Hawaii wasn’t his main birthday present. He told me that he needed it for a side project. I didn’t know world domination was a side project @peterbp.
1.8m🗨️ 10.6m⟲ 14.5m♡
⟲ retweeted by Tony Stark Updates, tony stark doormat (real), tony stark first human second and 10.6m others

Pepper Potts ✓ @pepperpotts
Sweetie, can we talk about certain things that were mentioned in your presentation brief in my office? Apart from that, it looks good and I’m so proud of you @peterbp.
1.4m🗨️ 7.6m⟲ 8.3m♡
⟲ retweeted by Pepper Potts Daily, Queen Pepper Potts, intern number 666 probably and 7.6m others

i’m a father now ✓ @peterbp
thank you mum! is this about *shudders* oscrap cause all i wrote were my thoughts and no one ever got jailed for their thoughts, we have free speech in this country!!!
2.3m🗨️ 6.8m⟲ 9.1m♡
⟲ retweeted by boo tennessee, peter stark official fanclub ✓, do a flip! and 6.8m others

Pepper Potts ✓ @pepperpotts
Office, now.
1.1m🗨️ 4.6m⟲ 7.3m♡

Tony Stark ✓ @tonystark
Tough luck, bambino but oscrap was a good one.
5.7m🗨️ 10.2m⟲ 14.6m♡

Pepper Potts ✓ @pepperpotts
You too, Tony.
1.5m🗨️ 5.9m⟲ 6.7m♡

the fe girl @feisiron
i LIVE for the starkfam shenanigans like wdym a billionaire was just called to his wife’s office cause he called a “rival” company oscrap. I MEAN WAS HE LYING.
349🗨️ 481⟲ 631♡

do a flip! @spooderman
wait guys if i move to peterland does that mean i wont be able to see my lord and my saviour spiderman whizzing through the air ever again on his webs
514🗨️ 772⟲ 918♡

Chapter Text

i’m no longer a father ✓ @peterbp
i’ve been educated and i am no longer using the original location for #Peterland. i guess its true when they say history is always written by the victors (mainly white people ew) but fret not. i've been educated!!! i'm a smart boi now!!!! but… does anyone have a country for sale? preferably a country that wasn’t forcefully taken by other people and have marginalised their indigenous people thanks
1.4m🗨️ 3.7m⟲ 7.1m♡
⟲ retweeted by don't call me mj | blm, boo tennessee, peter stark official fanclub ✓ and 3.7m others

the fe girl @feisiron
peter that is everywhere except for perhaps 10 countries estimated
1.3k🗨️ 3.9k⟲ 5.2k♡

guy in the chair @nedleeds
peter pick up your damn phone
4.8k🗨️ 6.2k⟲ 14.5k♡

just give me one day @techstark
idk boo but i love how educated you are now
73🗨️ 429⟲ 694♡

harry x peter real??? @justneedcoffeepls
the way peter just decided to backtrack on #Peterland’s original location just because he found out the truth within 48 hours is honestly so slay like yes king pop off (makes the US* govt looks like shit tbh cause they’ve been pretending the issue doesn’t exist for decades like damn yall being shown up by a boy)
13k🗨️ 29k⟲ 63k♡

i’m no longer a father ✓ @peterbp
dad buy me a new country @tonystark your previous gift isn’t for me and i’m returning it
4.7m🗨️ 8.5m⟲ 10.3m♡
⟲ retweeted by peterbp daily, criminal minds comeback when, peter stark official fanclub ✓ and 8.5m others

Tony Stark ✓ @tonystark
i don’t have the receipt for that! who even keeps receipts! but it’s okay bambino, mom and i will fix this
5.7m🗨️ 9.1m⟲ 14.3m♡

do you have pizza @petergiggles
i actually keep receipts cause what if i have to return something how do you survive without receipts omg they will never allow you to exchange or return anything without proof nowadays
71🗨️ 249⟲ 492♡

peter stark fan account @starkishisname
i feel like i have to not only show my proof of purchase physically with receipts, but also spiritually and give up the name of my lord and saviour (loki) when i have to return something now
73🗨️ 429⟲ 694♡

criminal minds comeback when @heatherx
reminded me when the cashier at a store asked me not only for a physical receipt but also the email receipt AND the card i used just to return a pair of jeans. i don’t even have the physical receipt cause it was an online-only item but they were adamant that physical receipts had to be shown. so i went to the nearest CVS and printed the email receipt on a huge A2 paper for them to look at. i also told them that thor would never do this to me.
329🗨️ 749⟲ 995♡

i am adopted ✓ @lokilaufeyson
thor would definitely do that to you
2.5m🗨️ 6.7m⟲ 8.4m♡

King Thor of Asgard ✓ @thorodinson
IT WAS ONE TIME BROTHER LET IT GO
3.7m🗨️ 7.2m⟲ 8.7m♡

i am adopted ✓ @lokilaufeyson
I HAD TO CARRY A SLAB OF TABLET WITH YOUR COMPLAINT CARVED ON IT TO THE HEAD TAILOR BECAUSE YOU SAID HE NEEDED PROOF THAT IT WAS YOUR ROBES HE MESSED UP WHEN THE ROBES HAD THE ROYAL INSIGNIA ON IT ALREADY
4.2m🗨️ 10.5m⟲ 12.4m♡

King Thor of Asgard ✓ @thorodinson
I HAD TO MAKE SURE HE KNEW
2.3m🗨️ 5.4m⟲ 6.9m♡

i am adopted ✓ @lokilaufeyson
no one else has measurements as big as you i think he knew it definitely wasn’t mine
1.1m🗨️ 2.4m⟲ 6.4m♡

King Thor of Asgard ✓ @thorodinson
WELL IF YOU MAYBE JOINED ME FOR A SPAR ONE DAY
2.5m🗨️ 3.9m⟲ 6.2m♡

i am adopted ✓ @lokilaufeyson
i’ll stab you
1.8m🗨️ 2.6m⟲ 4.1m♡

criminal minds comeback when @heatherx
this is cool and all but you guys are making my notifications and application glitch so maybe take this brotherly dispute elsewhere? (geeking out so bad rn that i have 2 gods conversing on my thread tho ngl #fame)
1.4k🗨️ 2.1k⟲ 5.6k♡

harry and peter is canon otp @askingforlokitostabme
how does it feel to be gods favourite (literally) @heatherx
923🗨️ 1.2k⟲ 4.9k♡

criminal minds comeback when @heatherx
not that fun to be honest it feels like everyone is watching me
1k🗨️ 2.3k⟲ 3.8k♡

what that tongue do @peterbptongue
its karma for that A2 receipt you printed because BITCH THAT WAS MY CO-WORKER I AM SO SORRY BUT YOU ARE A LEGEND AT MY STORE
124🗨️ 492⟲ 523♡

criminal minds comeback when @heatherx
omg i’m so sorry but i was feeling extra petty that day
284🗨️ 531⟲ 817♡

what that tongue do @peterbptongue
dw we all hated her anyway and she got fired the next day (deserved) lmfao. we have your receipt framed in the employees backroom btw!!!
320🗨️ 718⟲ 917♡

i’m no longer a father ✓ @peterbp
i’ve decided (after a long talk with my #Peterland ministers) that i will be creating a new island near Gardiners Island and Montauk for my new country. we can do land reclamation and not only am i not taking people’s lands (important!!!) but i will also be helping the environment (also important!!!). we are back in business baby!!!
3.5m🗨️ 5.1m⟲ 9.8m♡
⟲ retweeted by don't call me mj | blm, boo tennessee, guy in the chair, peter stark official fanclub ✓ and 5.1m others

can I speak to the manager ✓ @KARENTHEAI
Peter. You need to sleep. You’ve been running on coffee and fumes for the past 3 days.
928🗨️ 1.4k⟲ 2.9k♡

boo tennessee @harleyk
don’t tell me he mixed the coffee with red bull again @KARENTHEAI
647🗨️ 719⟲ 916♡

can I speak to the manager ✓ @KARENTHEAI
He unfortunately did.
716🗨️ 817⟲ 1.3k♡

boo tennessee @harleyk
going up to the lab soon to knock some sense in him, thanks karen.
817🗨️ 1.4k⟲ 2.9k♡

peter stark official fanclub ✓ @petersfc
We would like to announce that @peterbp has been ordered to remain offline for the next few weeks or so. In the meantime, #Peterland minister hiring will be officially closed tomorrow so get your applications in!
849k🗨️ 910k⟲ 1.7m♡
⟲ retweeted by boo tennessee, guy in the chair, do you have pizza and 910k others

do a flip! @spooderman
get spidey to fill in an application so that i can see him whiz through the skies of #Peterland please i beg @tonystark @avengers
293🗨️ 429⟲ 618♡

spider-man’s significant other (real) @thespouseofspidey
what has queens done to you for you to say this valid yet controversial take
49🗨️ 105⟲ 284♡

do a flip! @spooderman
queens has gotten ENOUGH of spidey’s attention give it to the rest of us now please (like we have criminals here too!)
384🗨️ 635⟲ 829♡

spiderman x nyc fanfic when @spideyfromyoutube
there’s criminals everywhere my dude but only one spidey and he is OURS
28🗨️ 194⟲ 310♡

do a flip! @spooderman
i’m just saying we can do some sort of rotation or something like a week in queens/nyc and a week in other cities
193🗨️ 379⟲ 843♡

his webs come out of his wrists your honour @hesticksonwalls
are you implying that spidey will be acting like a child of divorced parents changing houses every week?????
48🗨️ 72⟲ 94♡

peter best boi @sunpeter
as a child of divorced parents, i would nOT recommend this
80🗨️ 392⟲ 430♡

i dO NOt lay eggs ✓ @spideyman
as a child of dead parents, i think this is too much of a hassle but i will see what i can do!
1.5k🗨️ 4.2k⟲ 6.4k♡

tony stark doormat (real) @tstarkstan
SPIDEY???? IS THIS REAL??????
364🗨️ 519⟲ 718♡

spidey choked on a churro 604 days ago @neighbourhoodspidey
OKAY EVERYONE CALM DOWN CALM DOWN SPIDEY IS ON TWITTER???? IS THIS REAL OR AM I DREAMING
92🗨️ 203⟲ 394♡

Buzzfeed ✓ @Buzzfeed
NYC’s favourite web-slinging superhero is on Twitter! Welcome, @spideyman! ✨
1.6k🗨️ 4.5k⟲ 7.3k♡

i dO NOt lay eggs ✓ @spideyman
Aw I did not know that I’m NYC’s favourite! You’re making me blush.
2.4k🗨️ 4.2k⟲ 8.5k♡

i have no time for you @climatesun
it’s not a drill it’s not a drill it’s real omg @spideyman huge fan and noted on you not laying eggs
29🗨️ 49⟲ 184♡

intern number 666 probably @voclanofire
is the dn because an intern asked you if you laid eggs since you’re a spider and everything @spideyman
49🗨️ 195⟲ 549♡

i dO NOt lay eggs ✓ @spideyman
“an intern” when it was yOU
2.9k🗨️ 5.6k⟲ 9.1k♡

e=mc2 @sciencegeek
okay but CAN YOU lay eggs
43🗨️ 84⟲ 238♡

i saw spidey fell off a building once @spideyonesie
they specifically said they dO NOt lay eggs
74🗨️ 92⟲ 149♡

karen no. @franz219
do not and cannot are two different things though
23🗨️ 49⟲ 81♡

i dO NOt lay eggs ✓ @spideyman

3.5k🗨️ 7.4k⟲ 11.9k♡

i dO NOt lay eggs ✓ @spideyman

1.4m🗨️ 3.7m⟲ 7.1m♡