Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

peter was never a big sexual person.

he'd been that way for as long as he could remember. while growing up, he'd overhear a random conversation from one of his classmates that revolved around a fifteen second handjob he had gotten from a girl in his science class. it'd make peter so uncomfortable that he would go the rest of his day wishing he had never heard that.

when peter hit freshman year, almost every conversation that he passed by in the halls with ned by his side, or they both overheard from their spot in the cafeteria, all revolved the same sort of topic. what they would do to a certain girl, the things they have done with that girl, or any girl for that matter. peter learned very quickly on that not many people had high standards in high school, they'd let just about anyone touch them. 

peter wasn't sure if it was desperation, or if they truly just didn't think it was that big of a deal. for the longest time, peter had thought there was something wrong with him, perhaps he was the odd one. the numbers didn't lie, there were far more high schoolers that slept around than didn't. peter just never had any interest in it, especially not with any of his classmates. he couldn't imagine hooking up with someone that was just as clueless as himself was. 

peter would wonder out loud to ned why so many of their classmates had no issues conversing loudly about intimate topics, why they would share experiences that were meant to be private, and sacred. ned always told him that it wasn't that big of a deal, they were in high school, and none of it was that serious. plus, no one here was going to marry each other.

peter pretended to understand just to drop the subject. he didn't feel the same way, which he guessed was his problem, not theirs. he figured just because he had this high moral ground about sex didn't mean it was right for him to look down on his classmates because they didn't. peter was just mostly confused about why he didn't have the same urges, and why he thought sexual encounters should've been something was kept private to respect each other, but no one else felt the same.

peter thinks that maybe that was from his lack of sexual experiences. 

hookup culture was a whole other thing that confused him. peter couldn't imagine sleeping with someone and then never speaking to them again, nor could he ever be okay with that said person spilling all of the details to their friends. peter was too much of an emotional person for hookups, he also got way too attached far too easily. but so many of his peers participated in it, as if the encounter meant absolutely nothing, and peter just couldn't wrap his head around it.

peter guessed that he was the weird one, and he'd just have to live with that.

then peter met mj. despite the fact that they had been in a relationship for about a year, they had never slept together. which was completely fine with them both, mj was sort of like him. they liked each other for who they were, they didn't have to have a sexual connection to prove that they loved each other. 

peter was so relieved when he found out someone else his age wasn't obsessed over the idea of sex. it made him feel a little less weird, especially since he thought as highly as he did of mj. he figured if feeling like this wasn't normal, then mj wouldn't of, so peter stopped stressing about it so much. plus, he had a girlfriend now, so at least that stopped flash's teasing about his virginity.

he still was a virgin, but no one else needed to know that.

"i saw you met wren."

upon hearing stephen's voice, peter keeps his attention locked onto his book, which was the same one from earlier that he had went back and grabbed since the training room had been vacant. he'd return it in the morning before wong even noticed it was gone. the book had easily captivated peter's attention, despite the fact that peter had no idea how to pronounce most of the complicated words involved in casting majority of the spells, their intentions were interesting to learn about.

once he was finished reading a certain section, peter lifts his head to look at the sorcerer. the boy's expression drops quicker than stephen's ever seen it, and peter's his eyes fell before he could even try to stop them. for some god forsaken reason, stephen had exited the bathroom shirtless, with a towel wrapped around his waist, and his hair soaking wet from the shower.

it dawns upon peter right than that he hadn't ever seen stephen shirtless before. he knows he needs to quit staring because it's been an awfully long, few humiliating seconds of peter gawking at him, but peter's physical state did not want to listen to his brain. 

"y-yeah.. she seems nice." peter swallows hard after his voice had embarrassingly cracked. he forces his eyes upwards to stephen's face, and he wants to throw something at the man when he sees the smug, conceited little smirk on his face.

"do you like doing this to me?" peter can't help but question, only half jokingly, his head tilting to the side as he watched stephen begin to pluck clothes out of a nearby dresser.

"what are you talking about?" stephen knew exactly what he was talking about, and honestly, he'd started to wonder when (or if) peter would call him out on it. although he did enjoy teasing the boy, he got so worked up so easily, it wasn't difficult to find it amusing, there were hints of truth behind everything that stephen said.

peter huffs a bit, his jaw tightening in frustration. peter wasn't going to say it out loud, he never was comfortable with talking about these types of things. peter forces his eyes off of the sorcerer, and directs his attention back onto the book in his hands, the book that's probably older than both him and stephen combined, and tripled.

as stephen has his back turned towards the boy, peter took the opportunity to steal lingering glances at him. peter wondered how a surgeon turned into a sorcerer, turned into an avenger, could have as impressive shoulder/back muscles that stephen did. excluding stephen's height, the size difference between them hadn't ever caught peter's attention before. 

the height difference made sense to peter, it always did. peter thought of it like of course stephen would be six foot three while he was barely five nine, that matched their dynamic perfectly. it made sense that peter had to crane his neck up to look up at the sorcerer whenever they were standing mere inches from one another. but even stephen's shoulders were about three times the size of peter's, which he guessed he never took notice of underneath all the clothes, and cloak, that stephen usually wore. it's much more noticeable when he's shirtless.

in general, stephen was just three times peter's size. along with his hands that peter had formed an unhealthy obsession with. 

peter is far too busy gawking at stephen's back profile that he doesn't realize the man was turning around until it's too late for him to even try and catch himself. the smirk was back, and this time, peter does pick up the pillow next to him and chucks it at him. the quiet sound of the soft pillow hitting the floor mixes with the sound of stephen's laugh, and peter wishes his heart wouldn't have fluttered as much as it did at the sound. 

just as stephen re-enters the bathroom to change into clothes, cloak raises from its folded spot on the counter to exit. the light from the bathroom disappears as stephen closes the door behind the fabric, and cloak joins peter on the bed. the cloak lays itself down next to the boy, and it seems as if it were staring at peter as he continued to watch the bathroom door.

his brain completely lost in thought, peter throws himself onto his back, his eyes falling shut as a heavy, exhausted sounding sigh escaped from his nose. this wasn't something peter was used to, not many things got him so worked up and frustrated. stephen was literally the first person (in his real life) that peter has had sexual thoughts about, let alone a full blown sexual attraction to. he was not experienced in this department.

peter opens his eyes a moment later to stare up at the ceiling, the book now laying next to his pillow, long forgotten about. peter really wasn't sure how much longer he could wait for his feelings towards stephen to fade. if anything, they'd been growing stronger, not disappearing. everything he said or did affected peter in every which way. peter had been a sensitive person his whole life, but his heartfelt thoughts about stephen made everything the sorcerer did so much more dramatic.

peter analyzed every glance, every word, and absolutely everything stephen did. peter adored the man, his eyes lit up whenever stephen looked at him, and his body, unfortunately, acted like the teenager it was to every tease stephen made towards him. 

peter loved mj with all his heart, but his feelings towards stephen were so, so different. they were much more intense, and overwhelming at times. peter was used to sweaty palms and stuttering sentences whenever he was with mj, but it was so much worse (better) with stephen.

peter's heart, mind, and body were all infatuated with the sorcerer. peter wasn't sure how much longer he could live with stephen without acting out recklessly. his feelings were days away from overly consuming him. even worse, the midnight thoughts he had about him were so vivid. so much so that peter couldn't daydream about them later in the day without his face growing hot.

he was losing his mind. his body was buzzing with something raw and unpredictable, a mysterious force that crackled to life whenever stephen so much as looked at him.

it was the push and pull that was killing him. worst of all, the way stephen would get so close, close enough to make him feel like something was going to change, that this would be the moment. only for him to turn back around, business as usual.

peter folds the book, then places it on the nightstand. he decides to wait until stephen exits the bathroom to turn the light off. peter rests his head down onto one of the pillows, on the left side of the bed, because he always slept on that side back at the sanctum, so it only felt natural to continue the tradition.

stephen exits the bathroom a few moments later, and at first he thinks that peter may have fallen asleep, until he slowly rolls over onto his back, and peter's sleepy, half opened eyes meet stephen's much more awake ones. the boy examines stephen's attire, which had unfortunately/fortunately, changed into sweats and a t shirt.

not just any sweats and a t shirt.. grey sweats and a white t shirt.

peter's way too exhausted to be embarrassed by how long his eyes linger on the front, lower half of stephen's sweats. peter wondered if stephen was doing this on purpose. when stephen stops at the foot of the bed, peter's eyes flicker upwards to meet his amused gaze. 

"you're really hot." peter says it because he knows there wasn't a chance in hell stephen would've reacted any other way than how he did. an instant, conceited smirk is what peter's met with, which was what he expected. peter's half awake brain remembers their conversation that was something about surgeons and their egos, and peter swears he remembers stephen declining that stereotype.

but that was such a fucking lie.

"you're too precious." stephen moves to peter's side of the bed, sliding his fingers through peter's hair as soon as he reaches him. the sight of peter's sleepy eyes staring up at him so fondly had his heart throbbing. also, the sight of peter in his bed, which was something he had grown to love back at the sanctum, but to have peter next to him at kamar-taj felt more intimate. this place meant so much to stephen, he loved it almost as much as he loved peter. he got to have peter sleep next to him at both places, and stephen couldn't help but wonder how he got so lucky.

when stephen drops his hand from peter's hair to start unfixing the comforter to the bed, peter opens his mouth without hesitating for as long as he probably should've.

"will you ever kiss me?"

the words slip out between peter's lips before he can stop them. the question stops stephen from what he was doing, which was pulling the corners of the comforter out from their securely tucked position. stephen knew this was coming, but now that it was here, he had no idea how to react. how does he tell peter he wants to do far more inappropriate things than that, without telling him that they can't right now because stephen is so afraid he'll be taking advantage of him?

peter stares up at stephen through heart filled eyes, his expression reeking of exhaustion. his heart hammered against his chest, and although he couldn't take anymore of the teasing, and all the times they had almost crossed a line, he was starting to second guess opening his mouth in fear he had just ruined it all.

"peter, you're obviously exhausted right now. we'll have this conversation another day."

stephen wishes he wouldn't have glanced at peter right than. he wishes he wouldn't have saw the absolute look of heartbreak that plastered itself onto peter's sweet face. it seems like all of peter's fondness for the man crumbled to pieces right there.

then tears welled up in his eyes.

"peter, no. no, it's not that."

but peter's already on the verge of tears, and he's looking at stephen like he just crushed his heart and soul both at once. peter wants to yell and shout, he wants to ask why on earth stephen makes flirty comments, then acts as if he never said them. he wants to ask why stephen would stay up all night to rock him back and forth to assure he slept well, then pretend it didn't happen. but he doesn't, because he knows his voice would break if he even dares to try and use it. 

peter looks so, so innocent just laying there, with his hair sprawled out over the pillow, cloak nuzzled up to his side, and his poor little face just looked so heartbroken. peter's bottom lip trembles out as he tries his hardest to keep his tears at bay, and stephen feels like the devil incarnated. 

"trust me, peter. i want to more than i should. we just need to wait a little longer, okay?" despite his words being the honest to god truth, stephen hates every word he's saying. he sounds like such an asshole, and he can't blame peter when he starts to cry.

"peter, my sweet boy, please don't cry." stephen rounds the bed, then crouches down beside the boy once he reaches his side. peter isn't sure if it's his tiredness or what, but he truly wants to bawl, he can't remember the last time he felt as blindsided as he did right now. 

"just trust me, okay? please trust me. we need to wait-"

"f-for what? i've been eighteen for almost four months!"

"it has nothing to do with your age."

if stephen was a better man it would've.

"then what?" peter's voice was shaky, and his words croak out in between sniffles. stephen lifts a hand to place his palm against peter's flushed cheek, and his heart throbs when peter nuzzles into the cold comfort, despite his current anger with him. 

"i don't want to take advantage of you. you're not in the best situation right now, and i don't want you to think i took you in expecting something from you-"

"that's crazy!-"

"no, it's not."

stephen doesn't want to say the words i'm literally all you have because that just makes stephen sound like a complete douchebag. although it is why, he'd find a softer way to put it into words. stephen was peter's shelter, his home, and his only helping hand at the moment. stephen thought maybe if they waited until peter found a friend or two, started school again, then they could morph their relationship into something more.

stephen just didn't think it was appropriate if he fucked him while peter had quite literally no where else to go, and no one else to turn to.

"but i know you care about me, and you'd never hurt me." peter sniffles, his voice weak and low. he sounds a lot like he did the first night he spent at the sanctum, when stephen had held him on the staircase for hours. stephen readjusts his position to kneel on the ground beside the bed, and he lifts his other hand to place it onto peter's opposite cheek. stephen presses their foreheads together, and peter's eyes slip shut at the touch.

"peter.. i love you with my whole heart. i long ago made a promise to myself that i'd kill the next person that tries to hurt you."

a whine that's a mixture of contentment and frustration escapes from peter's parted lips. stephen rubs the pads of his thumbs against peter's cheekbones, his scarred fingers stroking the delicate, flushed skin of his cheeks. peter kept his eyes closed, because he's certain if he opens them, and he sees stephen's mouth so close to his, he'd definitely go against the whole point that stephen was trying to make.

stephen doesn't hesitate to say it. he wants peter to know, he needs the boy to know that this had nothing to do with him personally. he wouldn't have peter thinking there was something wrong with him that prevented stephen from acting upon their mutual feelings. up until peter, stephen wasn't sure if he was even capable of feeling actual emotions for another person. 

stephen's life before the accident was tiredly repetitive. he'd drown himself in his work, have meaningless sex, be a complete douchebag to christine whenever she tried to start up the what are we conversation, and repeat that cycle seven days a week. he wasn't the most pleasant to work beside, his ego took control most of the time, and he was unnecessarily so arrogant to mostly everyone.

although alcohol wasn't an option, considering all surgeons had to be available at all times in case of an emergency, and stephen rarely let himself reside to substance abuse, on the rare occasions he did let himself drown his sorrows in whiskey, he'd always get an earful from christine about it. he'd yell at her to leave, she would, he'd call her to come back in the morning, then that would occur about once every month or so. that was the only once in a while change in stephen's daily life routine.

moral of the story, stephen didn't think he was capable of loving someone more than he did himself. up until peter.

peter made his heart ache in ways that no one else ever had. peter made him want to be as selfless as possible. the sweet boy was the most precious thing in stephen's eyes, and he swore to take care of him as such. peter was delicate, and stephen would not allow himself to ruin him, at least not until peter had a clear enough headspace to consent to it.

peter looked at stephen like he handcrafted the stars, and stephen was so afraid he'd be taking advantage of him if he gave into his desires. although peter shared the same feelings, and he was so sure of the way he felt towards stephen, the sorcerer loved peter too much to give in so easily. 

peter's mental headspace was far more important to stephen than the sexual frustrations they both had. 

peter's stomach swarms with so many emotions, and so many butterflies that he feels borderline sick. he was going to lose all of his control. the way that stephen made him feel was too much, the emotions were too intense. peter was never good at handling normal emotions, let alone whatever this was.

"come here, let's go to sleep. i bet you're tired." stephen moves onto the bed, scooping peter up into his arms along with him. peter instantly latches onto him, his hands curling into his shirt as he let stephen move them into a more comfortable position. stephen laid down first, then held peter close to his chest to allow the boy to lay over him.

"i love you too, by the way." peter's quiet, soft voice says, once his face is pressed against the warm skin of stephen's neck. the sorcerer smiles a bit, as his arm reaches over to turn the bedside lamp off.

"you're so innocent."

although stephen doesn't think there was anything that could change that, he was so grateful that he was the one that would get to ruin that. 

|

surprisingly, stephen is still underneath peter when he wakes.

groggy, and still half unconscious, peter's hands weakly push against stephen's shoulders to lean himself up with all the strength he can master. his eyes glance around the room as his expression scrunches up, his eyebrows heavily furrowing due to the light pouring in through the closed, sheer curtains that were not hiding the light at all. the corners of his eyes narrow, and he has to fight to keep his eyes to stay at least somewhat open.

peter's palms curled into stephen's shirt, as his arms used his shoulders for leverage. the sorcerer was still soundlessly asleep, and his hands had slipped from peter's back to settle instead onto his upper thighs. a sleepy, little grin tugs on the corners of peter's mouth, as he examines the man with pure fondness in his eyes.

sometime during the night, cloak must've untangled itself from peter to return to its owner. he couldn't be too upset about it, though, the sight of the cloak snuggled up next to its owner was far too heartwarming. 

peter glances around his unfamiliar surroundings, and he wonders what had woken him up since he had been so content. 

peter's ears suddenly perk up as they start to ring, the room falling abnormally silent, his eardrums blocking out any other source of noise. peter's fingers curl into stephen's shoulders as his muscles grew stiff. his senses had been the thing that woke him up. 

"mmm, 's matter, pete?" stephen's grumbling voice echos in peter's ears. the boy moves one hand to press the pads of his fingers against stephen's mouth, silently urging him to stay quiet. despite the way that this had alerted stephen to a half awake state, he couldn't refrain from smiling cheekily at the gesture. 

"there's someone out there."

"they're probably just walking by-"

"no. they're stopped."

"stephen!"

peter jumps, his body violently flinching at the sudden heavy banging against the bedroom door. stephen's hands tighten on his thighs on instinct, and cloak rushes impressively fast to the door, blocking it in a protective way that a dog would.

"what is it?!- cloak, it's just wong."

stephen responds to the familiar voice once his panic had settled, while he tries to relax the fabric that was hovering dangerously close to the door as if it would have to attack.

"are you still teaching your AM class?"

stephen groaned tiredly at this, a sound that peter thinks is a bit dramatic. he smiles humorously as he watches stephen's arms raise above his head as he stretches. peter's eyes fell to the veins in his arms that bulged as he stretched, and his hands subconsciously went to stephen's abandon, fingers sprawling out across his white tee shirt. 

peter tried very hard to not focus on the fact that he was literally straddling the sorcerer at the moment. 

before peter can react, stephen wraps his arms around peter's middle, and tugs him down onto his side to lay next to him as stephen rolls over. a muffled, little laugh comes from peter, his nose pressed into the crock of stephen's neck. 

"give me five!" stephen shouts his response to his friend, his head turning over his shoulder to glance at the door. peter opens his mouth to ask stephen when the class was scheduled to begin, but he's cut short when the man had started to pepper quick little kisses all over his face.

heartfelt giggles started to leave peter's mouth, as he squirmed on the mattress, and his hands reached up to place them on either sides of stephen's face. stephen continued to press soft kisses around his face. his cheeks, his nose, his forehead, his chin, his head, quite literally anywhere stephen could reach, then repeated the cycle. peter had never felt his mouth on his skin before, he notices how gentle he is, and he takes note of what it felt like to feel stephen's facial hair scratch against his sensitive skin.  

pure warmth fills peter's chest, and the butterflies that fluttered in his belly felt like they multiplied by ten each time stephen kissed his face. with one last lingering, wet kiss to his cheek, stephen makes an overdramatic mwah sound on purpose. peter giggles again, his fingers stroking over the greying hair above stephen's ears.

"are you always this touchy in the morning?"

"nope, not in the slightest." 

stephen answers truthfully with a shrug of his shoulder. it was truly just an effect peter had on him, he looked at the boy and sometimes he couldn't fight the urge to just shower him in pure love. especially when the memories of the battle with thanos, or the fight on the statue of liberty, came flooding back into stephen's mind. peter deserved an endless amount of love, he deserved someone to take care of him.

peter hums a bit, trying his best to act like his stomach wasn't filled to the brim with butterflies. his face was hot, he knows his cheeks had to have been flushed, and he would've been a bit more self conscious had stephen not already seen him all flustered time and time again.

"just an effect you have on me."

as his hand combed through peter's hair, stephen shoots the boy a playful wink, with a teasing little grin on his face. that same old giddy smile that stephen adored spreads across peter's expression, nothing but pure admiration shining through his eyes.

"i do have to say though, mr.parker.. if you are attending my class again today, i will not tolerate any bratty attitudes." stephen jokes in a voice that's nothing but playfulnesses. peter tilts his head back to meet stephen's gaze, his hair sliding across stephen's arm where it'd been laying.

"and what if i do?"

"your recess will be spent over my knee."

peter thinks the intent of the half hearted threat was not to intrigue him, nor have him secretly hoping that it would happen, but nonetheless that's what it does. stephen grins amusedly at his reaction, his palm cupping the side of peter's face, thumb stroking gently over peter's cheekbone.

"i'll be good." peter dips his head to kiss the inside of stephen's scarred palm, his lips softly connecting with the rough skin, and the gentleness has stephen's heart throbbing. he wishes so badly they could've laid in bed all day, and he could've just held peter against his chest, stroked his hair, and rubbed his back. 

stephen kisses the top of peter's hair. "come on before wong tears the door down." stephen softly urges peter out of bed, his voice light as he joked. peter complains in a whining tone, his head dropping to fall on stephen's shoulder, as the sorcerer began to pull him up. stephen easily lifts the boy, and he gathers peter's limbs up into his arms to hold him on his hip.

"c'mon, spider baby."

"not a baby." peter grumbles against stephen's neck, a frown on his mouth, as he refuses to stand to his own two feet. stephen chuckles at this, his arms tightening around peter's frame to keep him up.

"very convincing."

|

so far today, stephen and peter hadn't left each other's sides.

stephen's AM class was uneventful, and the sorcerer had to admit that he did use peter for partner demonstration a few more times than needed. he knew it was only a matter of time before wong or suni gave him an earful about not allowing peter to stay in his classes if he continues to favorite him. stephen doesn't blame himself, though. peter was far too eye catching to not favorite.

kamar-taj was much more quiet than peter had expected it to be. it smelt really good, which was unexpected, but pleasant. it was uneventful, besides the occasional stranger casting an interesting spell to cut an apple instead of doing it themselves. had peter experienced this a week ago, when his life was normal, it would've made him feel so, so content. 

and he did, for the first couple hours. it was fun to watch stephen teach magic classes (no, peter will not call it mystic arts, that's way less fun), and peter loved learning about everything that had formed stephen into who he was. the quietness of the environment, and the opportunity to explore kamar-taj was everything that peter needed. for the first couple of hours, that is.

peter had realized a couple of days ago that whenever the room fell silent, and there was nothing to occupy his thoughts, the memories would creep up on him. the bad thoughts that he tried so hard to keep at bay, the memories of his friends and may. the realization that he was practically erased from their lives would consume him whenever it got the chance.

"hey, where'd you go?" stephen nudges peter's shoulder with his elbow, eyebrows knitted together at the sight of peter so lost in thought. also, peter had gone quiet for the last ten minutes which in itself was alarming. peter blinks a couple of times, before his eyes settle onto the sorcerer next to him.

currently, the two were seated next to each other in the library, at the same table as yesterday. instead this time, peter had taken the chair beside stephen, instead of across. peter simply blinks at stephen a couple of times, his eyes clouded over, and a dazed expression on his features.

stephen knows where his mind wandered off to. that horrible place he wished he could so badly keep him from returning to. it was unfortunate that even the good memories with his friends had turned bad, he didn't even want to think about those. honestly, peter wished there was a way he could erase them from his memory. 

"there you are. you went quiet on me." it's an observation, a desperate attempt at making conversation. peter sinks down into his seat, pulling his knees upwards to his chest. stephen frowns as he watches peter wrap his arms around his legs. peter's eyes stuck their attention onto the untouched water bottle that was placed in front of him, as the thoughts, the voices, and the traumatic memories started to consume him once again.

"you are the one that killed her."

"i told you there'd be consequences."

"you promise?"

"i'm right here. just catch your breath." 

why didn't he do more? why couldn't he have listened to stephen to begin with. why did he care so much about MIT, again? really, peter couldn't remember. why didn't peter let stephen send them all home? again, why did peter care so much? he doesn't remember.

stephen couldn't return his focus onto his book even if he wanted to, not when peter was on the verge of tears and curled in on himself. stephen's chest feels heavy, it fucking hurt to watch peter suffer through the aftermath of what's happened. the aftermath of stephen's spell, despite that it was peter who made him do it, that didn't stop the guilt from eating at stephen's stomach.

what was something that consistently helped peter feel better? 

"you want to sit with me, bug?" 

physical touch. it never failed, worked every time. the nickname slips out from stephen's mouth before he could even register that he wanted to say it, let alone actually speak it. peter lifts his head from it's buried position in his arms to look over at the sorcerer with tear stained cheeks. as a soft, fond smile lifts onto the corner of peter's mouth, stephen lifts his sleeve to wipe at peter's face. 

"like.. with you?"

"yes. right here, with me." 

stephen holds his arms out halfway for the boy, confirming his suspicions that stephen really had meant what he thought he did. peter eagerly climbs out of his seat, and he helps stephen get him over the armrest of his own chair, to settle in on the sorcerer's lap.

once seated, peter's legs go to either sides of his hips, and he stretches his limbs out to poke them through underneath the armrests. the body heat that radiates off of stephen instantly warms him, on the inside and out. it fuels peter with content, and a quiet hum of approval leaves his mouth when stephen's hands settle on his back. stephen sits still to let peter situate himself into a comfortable position, and once the boy was content with it, stephen started to rub his hands up and down his back.

"bug?"

stephen knew that was coming.

"my mother used to call me it whenever i was upset. it just slipped out."

"i like it." peter happily says. stephen can hear the boy's giddy little smile through his voice. the sorcerer felt as if he'd won a war as he held peter against him. he felt so satisfied that just his touch was enough to calm him down. stephen thinks it's so ridiculous that his heart can even process such emotions at his age, but his chest literally aches when peter nuzzles into his shoulder and squirms contently in his lap.

peter quite literally had stephen's whole heart in his hands.

cloak removes itself from stephen's shoulders to instead drape over peter as a makeshift blanket, the collar turning upwards to keep his neck warm. stephen's hands softly soothe over the back of the cloak, and maybe it was a loving pet to both peter and the fabric, which were truly the most two precious things in his life.

stephen returns back to his book, and now that he had stephen to district him from thinking about the things he didn't want to, peter easily falls asleep. ten, fifteen, twenty, a whole hour passes of the two sitting there. stephen truly could've sat there for hours just holding peter, where he was sure no one could harm him, and peter couldn't grow upset without him knowing. 

stephen took so much pride in assuring peter stayed peaceful throughout his sleep, soft kisses to the side of his temple, his hands rubbing up his back, and he had even resulted to lightly bouncing his knee when peter had whined in his sleep, from what he assumed was a bad dream, to try and soothe him. the hold that peter had over him was borderline scary, there was quite literally nothing in the world that peter could do that would make stephen see him as anything less than precious.

stephen's head had started to droop to the side, and his hair touches peter's temple, just as peter jolts violently into an upwards position, startling himself awake, and ripping stephen out of his half asleep state.

"hey, hey, it's okay. it was just a dream, pete." stephen rubs his hands up peter's arms, as the boy's eyes started to frantically dart around the unfamiliar room. peter's breathing quickened as he tried to catch his breath, his heart racing at an alarmingly high speed. peter's eyes settled onto stephen, who was mere inches away from him, his soft eyes blown with concern. stephen brushes his hands up over peter's arms, attempting to calm him.

peter studies him for a moment, with his head throbbing, and his heart barely beginning to calm. he was okay, he was safe, stephen was right there. peter was so, so confused. he looked at stephen, and his heart throbbed, peter knows that he loves him, but not in the way that he loved may, and certainly not in the way that he loved ned. this type of connection was not familiar to peter, this form of love was different, but a really, really good different. he knows it's love, it's what his whole body was screaming whenever stephen smiled at him.

peter looked at stephen, and his body, mind, and heart wanted him so badly that it hurt. and they weren't close enough, it never felt like they were. 

peter dips his head down and kisses stephen directly on his mouth before he could think himself out of it. he bumps their mouths together probably way too hard, but whatever. stephen thought he surely should have had more self control at his age, he shouldn't have given in so easily. stephen, after the initial shocked had worn off, moved his mouth against his, and didn't go unaware of the quiet hum that sounds like pure heaven that leaks from peter's mouth and onto stephen's. 

it felt so fucking good. peter doesn't think it should be possible for a kiss to feel this good. stephen's beard scratching against his cheek also felt unexpectedly good. peter literally moaned when stephen grabbed his jaw with one hand and angled his head where he wanted it. peter wanted stephen to lead, and he just wanted to follow.

peter's lips were so, so soft, and the way that peter had so eagerly, so excitedly bumped their mouths together in the beginning told stephen he did it without thinking, before his anxiety could stop him. when stephen pushes his head into a better position, and that fucking moan left the boy's mouth, stephen had to stop a second later. he'd throw peter over the table if he didn't.

"peter." 

after mastering up all the strength he could, stephen separates them. peter instantly whines at the loss, a little sound that's a mixture of frustration and disappointment, as he tries to chase after stephen's mouth. peter's fingers balled into his shirt when stephen doesn't allow him to kiss him again. peter bites down onto his bottom teeth, his jaw clenching in frustration as he kept trying to push and pull at stephen to get him to kiss him again.

peter dipped his head down to stephen's neck, his heart hammering against his chest as he realizes he's literally never done this before, and he frankly was terrified he wouldn't do it the correct way. when peter's mouth delicately presses against the warm skin on stephen's neck, the sorcerer lifts one hand to tightly tangle his fingers into peter's hair.

"stop. listen to me." stephen's hands go to either sides of peter's face when the boy refused to. he lifts peter's head away from his neck, and his heart broke a bit when peter whined again. peter could've pathetically cried, he wanted stephen so bad it hurt. 

stephen presses their foreheads together, his eyes closed because he knows if he sees peter's red, swollen lips, and messy hair he'd lose it. luckily, stephen doesn't sound angry with him, but he did stop the kiss, and stop peter from kissing at his neck, which easily tore peter apart on the inside.

"please."

oh god. stephen was not that good of a man to not have a reaction to that.

"peter, listen-"

"no!"

"watch your tone." 

stephen squeezes the underside of his thighs. he can't help but roll his eyes when peter whines rather dramatically at the scolding. peter straightens up into a sitting position, no longer leaned against stephen's chest, and the sorcerer had to ignore how he missed the comforting weight that had been pressed against his chest for the last hour.

"please. please-"

"you have no idea what you're even asking for-"

"i do!"

"really? okay. tell me what it is you're begging me for, then?"

stephen knows he won't. he won't say it, and maybe that was the problem. should they really be doing something that peter can't even master up the courage to say out loud? certainly not. if he couldn't say it, he most definitely shouldn't be doing it. peter was so, so shy when it came to this stuff, and stephen just couldn't imagine that someone who couldn't even say it out loud would be emotionally okay afterwards.

"if you can't say it, then we shouldn't be doing it. it's perfectly okay that you aren't comfortable talking about it, we have so much time-"

"i want you to fuck me."

peter did not think he would ever say those words out loud to anyone on planet earth, let alone an overwhelmingly attractive sorcerer that was twice his age. but hey, life was full of surprises, and peter's temporary embarrassment/ bruised ego was not enough to overrule his urges that were driving him fucking crazy.

stephen's mouth had never in his life clamped shut so quickly. peter even looked him in the eyes when he said it, and had stephen not been so fucking shocked he would've been beaming from how proud he was of him. 

peter looked at him with pouted, red lips from how hard he had kissed the sorcerer, and his hair was tussled a bit from his nap. his cheeks were deeply flushed, either from the kiss, or the realization of what he had said out loud. he looked so perfect, and it took strength that stephen didn't even know he had to not grant peter his wish.

"you have no idea how much strength it has taken me to not throw you over this table right now-"

"i wouldn't argue."

stephen breathes out a laugh. "i'm not taking your virginity in a library, peter."

peter's face fell. "how'd you know that?" 

stephen snorts, and peter frowns at him. "no specific reason, just a bunch of little ones." stephen smiles warmly at the boy, his hand reaching upwards to brush his thumb along his cheekbone. the tips of peter's ears had turned red, which stephen thought was far more adorable than he probably should've.

"i'm not making fun of you, pete. honestly, and this is probably fucked up of me to say, but i like that. i've been told i'm very possessive, and i fucking love that no one has touched you."

peter's cheeks flush, a blush that spreads down onto his neck. stephen reaches upwards to press his cold knuckles against peter's cheeks, turning his hands inwards. a small smile spreads across peter's mouth, and his eyes fall shut at the comforting touch.

"you're too good to have sex for the first time on a table in a library. you deserve a nice bed, with a bunch of pillows, and one of those big comfy blankets that you love." stephen speaks softly as he holds peter's face in between his hands. the coolness of his knuckles felt so good to peter, and stephen could feel the heat radiating off of peter's cheeks. 

"you know what's a good thing, though?"

"what?"

"that i have a nice bed, with a bunch of pillows, and that big comfy blanket of mine that you love."

peter cracks his eyes open at this, and he meets the wide, smug smirk that pulled across stephen's mouth. the suggestion that stephen planned to follow through with his promise was enough to have peter grinning ear to ear.

"can we go now?" 

stephen laughed. "no, not right now. we got class, remember?" 

although stephen does reject peter's wish to go home right that second, the disappointment was quickly wiped off of peter's face when stephen leans in and kisses his mouth. stephen pulls away after a few seconds, and when he meets the satisfaction twinkling in peter's eyes, and the giddy smile on his face, he can't help but laugh a little.

"i can kiss you whenever i want?" peter asks, his voice hopeful and his eyes big. stephen couldn't resist the urge to gently comb his fingers through his messy hair, his mouth spreading into a satisfied, little grin when peter tipped his head back to lean into the touch.

"just not in class. everywhere else, yes."

peter kisses him again, and this time their teeth clash together since peter had practically fallen onto him. stephen chuckles against his mouth, as his hand moves downwards to palm the back of peter's head, fingers sprawling flat against his hair. peter truly could've sat there, in that library, in stephen's lap, and kissed him for hours. it was pure, blissful heaven.

"uh uh," stephen stops peter when he tries to tilt his head the opposite way. the boy listens to him, but rolls his eyes anyways, as he kisses him again.

"you're bossy." peter huffs against his mouth.

stephen swats his backside. "don't roll your eyes at me." stephen pulls back to half heartedly scold him, then connects their lips once again.

"see, bossy." peter mumbles against his mouth. stephen licks his bottom lip, and his one hand squeezes the boy's thigh when he lets a quiet moan slip through his mouth.

"i like it, though. i like when you tell me what to do."

stephen breathes out a chuckle. "good. because i love telling you what to do." 

"i feel like that's always been our dynamic." peter pulls away just for one moment to shoot stephen an amused little grin, his eyes halfway open to watch the way that stephen's expression quickly morphs to match his. 

"oh, definitely."

stephen had always took a dominant position over peter, and peter had always shamelessly fucking loved it. even before peter had the sorcerer's tongue down his throat, tilting his head every which way into the position he wanted it, peter always pictured stephen to be exactly like this. the first time stephen had instructed him to do something back on that ship? oh yeah, that was when the midnight fantasies started to roll in.

"remember back on the ship," peter has to stop to exhale out a heavy breath, his heart was beating so fast. "when that weird alien guy was like.. torturing you." 

"yes, peter. i remember being tortured, and that is a very odd thing for you to bring up right now." stephen some what jokes, and he only pulls away from peter's mouth to respond.

"you wanna know what my first thought was?"

"save the wizard?"

peter huffs out a breathy laugh. "no, that was before i even saw you. when i saw you for the actual first time, i literally thought you were so hot."

stephen laughs harder than peter did. "so i look hot even while being tortured?"

"oh my god, extremely." peter answers without hesitation. his cheeks flush even more, which he didn't think should've even been possible, at the words that left his mouth. stephen kisses him extra hard, his tongue sweeping across the inside of his mouth, which has peter's upper body leaning into him as he whined a bit.

"you do fucking wonders for my ego."

peter grins against his mouth. "like you need it." 

stephen took peter's bottom lip in between his teeth, biting down not hard enough to cause blood, but not gentle enough to where peter wouldn't have a reaction from it. peter sucked in a heavy breath, his hands subconsciously shooting upwards to grab at stephen's shirt. 

"can w-we please go home, now?"

"mm," stephen hums against peter's delicate mouth. that request was tempting, very, very tempting.

"not right now, bug. i promise i'll take you to bed soon. as long as you behave today, that is." stephen reassures him, his hand starting to rub comforting circles up over his back. peter huffs out a short, frustrated sounding sigh, his shoulders falling with the exhale he breathed out through his nose. although when stephen raises his eyebrows at him, he knows better than to continue onwards with complaining.

"i'll be good."

stephen combs a hand through his hair. "that's my good boy."