Chapter Text
A heartbeat echoed across the examination room. It was strong, it warmed my heart and at the same time it crushed it.
“Ms. Danvers you are indeed pregnant. I would say about three months.” I take a harsh breath. I get cleaned up and walk out of the hospital with two sonograms. I don’t know why I asked for two. I wasn’t planning on telling anyone, yet.
What the fuck am I going to do with a baby? The father of the baby is in a relationship with someone else. I don’t want to be a homewrecker. Why? Why do I always have to be such a fuck up?
I want a drink but I’m pregnant and I don’t want to harm the fetus.
My phone starts ringing, it’s J’onn.
“Danvers.”
“I’m going to need you to come in. There’s an attack downtown.” Fuck, I can’t fight in battle while I’m pregnant.
“Sorry, sir. But I can’t come in today. I’ve been advised by my doctor that I will not be involved in active duty for the unforeseeable future.”
“Fine. But I want an explanation soon.” I really don’t want to explain.
“I promise. Good luck, sir.” I hung up. I sigh deeply as I faceplant into my couch.
My stomach starts rumbling. I’m so hungry I could eat a horse.
I ordered two pizzas and Chinese food. I got into my comfiest sweatpants and put on a movie.
30 minutes later I'm in a food coma. I can barely move. I'm so exhausted. The shirt that I’m usually able to fit is riding up. I didn’t think I would start to show so soon.
I can’t believe that I slept with Kara and got myself pregnant. Is this a soap opera?
I didn’t get myself pregnant, I’m not an asexual animal. Kara got me pregnant.
Anyway, I look up at the ceiling and think. I feel my eyes getting droopy, that food really did me in. Time for a nap here’s hoping this is all a horrible dream.
I’m woken out of my sleep from frantic knocking on my door. I groan as I sit up, what the fuck is with all the knocking.
I slowly get up from the couch, I look through the peephole. Shit, it’s Kara. I look down to see that I am still in fact pregnant and showing a bit.
“One second.” I carefully rush to get a hoodie. I open the door.
“Hey.” I let her in. Since the night in question, we’ve been pretending like what happened didn’t.
“Hi, I missed you out on the field today.” She sits on the couch. I sit a few inches away.
“Yeah, I wasn’t feeling too great. So, I decided to sit this one out. Did you get the bad guy?” She looks at me in concern.
“Yeah, are you alright?” My heart warms at her worry for me.
“I’m fine. I just need rest and I’ll be spick and span in no time.” I doubt it. Once J’onn finds out I’m pregnant, he will put me on desk duty for sure.
“Good. Do you want to wat-” Kara’s phone rings before she could finish. She steps away, I can tell that it’s Lena on the other end from her blinding smile. My heart aches at the sight. I remember when she used to look at me like that.
To distract myself I clean up the pizza and take out boxes. I feel Kara’s hand on my shoulder. I just kept my head down; I didn’t want her to see the hurt in my eyes.
“Lena needs me for something. I'll see you later.” I try really hard not to let the tears fall down my face. She kisses the top of my head. And I hear the door close. I lock the door. I wait a beat before sliding down the wall, no matter what I do the sobs just break through my chest.
My hand falls to my belly, I absentmindedly rub it.
“At least I have one person that loves me.” I take a deep heavy breath.
Life was so unfair sometimes.
I tried every single piece of clothing I could find, and nothing fit. My bras are too tight, my pants won’t button. And I have to be at the base in 20 minutes.
I fucking know that my tactical suit isn’t going to fit either. This is a disaster.
I put on a bandeau and a camisole. I look for a rubber band. I saw this trick where you loop the rubber band over the button and through the buttonhole.
It worked thank goodness.
“Sorry sir, for the tardiness.” J’onn nods at me.
“That’s okay, let's speak in my office.” I follow him inside.
“Why weren’t you here yesterday. I want a real explanation.” He stares at me down until I crack.
“Okay, I’ll tell you. But I can’t tell you out loud, there are prying ears around.” I gave him a knowing look.
I’m pregnant.
“What?!” I shush him. He looked perplexed.
“Yes, it’s true. I want you to listen to my heartbeat real closely.” I see him concentrate; his eyes widen.
“Who’s” I really don’t want to tell him. But I knew I couldn’t lie to him.
Kara’s.
He took a deep breath, it looked like the vein on his forehead and neck were going to pop.
“Congrats.” I wish this was a joyous occasion.
Not quite. Kara doesn’t know. And she’s in a relationship with Lena if you’ve forgotten. You can’t tell anyone.
“Alex, keeping this from her is not a good idea. This could very well blow up in your face.” Yeah, I know but I wanted more time to figure out how I was going to tell her.
I know, but I need more time to mentally prepare for the fallout this could potentially cause. You know what people are going to say about me right. They’ll call me a homewrecker, even though Kara and I created this baby months before Lena and her got together. Please, I’m begging you don’t tell anyone. I’m not ready.
He relents and gives me a sympathetic look. That look makes me feel even more pathetic than I already feel.
“Okay, since obviously you cannot be in the field for the unforeseeable future, you’ll be doing experiments for me and desk duty. Do you understand?” I nod.
“Yes, sir.” I try hard not to cry.
He gives me a hug.
This is a shitshow.