Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Emily could sense the storm coming from the way the staff tiptoed around her all day, from the extra pancake the chef gave her at breakfast, from the pitying glances from her tutor, from the whole sense of unease throughout the Prentiss household. Plus there was the text from Matt that simply read “your parents are going to kill you.”

Maybe the extra pancake was the chef’s way of saying goodbye.

So she wasn’t exactly surprised when she heard her parents’ yell of “Emily Simone Prentiss come downstairs right now!”.

Never one to shy away from a good shouting match with her parents, Emily was all too happy to bound down the stairs two at a time, the stomping heavy black boots and chains hanging from her belt loops signalling her arrival in her parents’ office.

All of their confrontations happened in that office, so many that they didn’t need to tell her which room to meet them in any more. She knew they did it to try to scare her, the office was a way of saying look how powerful we are, and remember you are nothing without us, but she had spent the last 16 years disappointing her parents and the whole thing was becoming pretty ineffective.

She sank into the chair facing her mother’s desk, her mother in her chair on the other side, towering over here, another attempt at making her feel weak, while her father stood just behind Elizabeth, his hand on the back of her chair. He stood stiffly, disappointment flooding his dark eyes. Emily remembered a time that she had been terrified of disappointing him, but these days his face might was well be carved from stone he held that expression so often and she couldn’t bring herself to care any more.

“Emmy,” her mother started, almost sweetly.

Use a childhood nickname to remind me I’m just a kid, to make me feel guilty for growing up and forming a personality she reminded herself before she could even begin to feel the need to blink back tears.

“Can you tell us what this is?” her father said, gesturing to the object on the desk. 
“It’s a newspaper, I’m not stupid. Looks like cheap tabloid trash, I didn’t know you read this kind of stuff Dad,” she smirked.

“And the front page?” her mother replied. 

“Well, that would appear to be me and Chloe.”

“Doing what?”

“Really Dad I thought you would know what kissing was. Unless I’m some kind of miracle baby, the second coming of Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour Amen,” she smiled politely as his grip tightened on the chair.

“You are out of control,” her mother snapped “The motorbike and smoking and DIY tattoos are bad enough, this is getting ridiculous. You are going to ruin this family, and then what? We’ll have nothing.”

“After everything we’ve done for you, this is how you repay us? By trying to destroy everything we have worked for?”

Now it was getting harder to fight back tears.

 
“Have you maybe considered that I kissed her for a reason other than to hurt you!” she snapped back, the first tear rolling down her cheek. No going back now. “Not everything I do is about you! I kissed her because I wanted to!”

She was standing now, she only noticed because of the dizziness that overwhelmed her. Her mother had tears in her eyes, her father looked furious. I wouldn’t be surprised if tomorrow’s headline is Emily Prentiss mysteriously disappears. 

“You may return to your room. We’ll finish this after dinner,” he said quietly. She slunk out of the room, closing the heavy door behind her, but not before she could hear her mother breaking down into sobs.

“Where did we go wrong with her, Simon,” Emily heard her mother ask between cries, “what did we do to make her turn out like that?”

Nothing. That was what Emily thought as she dragged herself back to her room. I have always been like this, this is who I am. She repeated those words like a mantra as until she reached her room, collapsing onto her bed before checking on her phone.

“Perhaps a little more detail in your warning next time,” she texted Matt.

“Still alive then? ;)” he texted back. She rolled her eyes.

“For now. They said they would finish the conversation after dinner so at least I get a last meal.”

She took a deep breath before opening the text from Chloe. She had already predicted what it would say, she had just been putting off being proved right.

“Hey Emily, yesterday was fun but I don’t think we should see each other again. I didn’t realise you were The Emily Prentiss. You seem really nice, and I’m sure there’s someone out there who doesn’t mind your family <3.”

“I understand,” she typed back, hitting send and deleting Chloe’s number before she could say something she’d regret. She rolled up her sleeve and gazed at the tattoo she had given herself pm her inner arm. Her parents could take away the keys to her motorcycle, and search her room for cigarettes daily (not that she could go out and buy more anyway), but that little tattoo was permanent. A tiny cat. Just the outline of the face, she had been caught before she could fill it in. She liked cats, free to do as they want and come and go as they please, able to lash out with razor sharp claws and not be blamed because really it’s in the cats nature and you should have just left it alone. 

It didn’t feel like it had been that long when she was called downstairs for dinner. Once again she ran down the stairs, eager to get the whole ordeal over and done with. When she reached the dining room she found her parents sitting in silence and a brochure where her plate should be.

“I know we said we would talk after dinner, Emmy,” her mother said gently, “but the promise of food is probably the only thing stopping you from going straight back upstairs before we get a chance.”

At least you’re right about one thing mother.

She sat down, inspecting the brochure. 

“BAU Private Boarding school,” she mumbled flicking through it. Pretend to be interested, agree you’ll think about it, finally get to eat.

“Yes dear. We’ve allowed you too much freedom with homeschooling and tutors and we agree that this could be good for you, a little structure.”

She continued pretending to look at it, when two words caught her eye. All girls. Either her parents didn’t believe her little confession earlier or they were now going completely overboard in their support. She tried not to laugh.

“Yes, mother, I’m sure this could, uh,” she coughed, “straighten me out.” Don’t laugh they’ll realise their mistake. 

“See Simon, I told you she would be interested!” Elizabeth smiled at her husband, who was watching Emily with intense suspicion. 

“Yeah, you know, I’ve had some time to think. I have been a little off the rails these past couple of years. Perhaps this could help.”

Elizabeth clapped her hands together.

“This is wonderful, Emily! I know you only have a week until the first semester begins but I already pulled some strings and they have space for you so you won’t have to wait and hope a spot opens up next semester.”

Emily smiled at her mother. “Thank you. I really think the sooner I get there the better.”

Chapter Text

Somehow Principal Strauss’s office was even more imposing than her mother’s, and all Emily could do was stare at her hands in her lap. The last few days had been a whirlwind of packing and buying textbooks and fittings for school uniforms. Her black cargo pants had been replaced with pleated skirts and her battered combat boots had been taken away in favour of a pair of Italian leather shoes.

“They’ll have none of this goth nonsense at BAU, Emmy,” her mother had said while she had been poked and prodded and stabbed with pins as a tailor fitted her with a school blazer. She wouldn’t be surprised if her mother was paying extra for the occasional pin-stabbing.

She was brought back to the present by her father’s voice.

“We’re going to head home now, Emily,” he said, “behave for your teachers, okay? You represent our family as much as we do.”

“Thank you for this, Erin,” her mother said to the severe looking Principal. 

“It’s nothing really, Elizabeth. One of our girls dropped out and we are more than happy to have your Emily here.”
Her father had already left the office, her mother following behind him with a simple nod to Emily, leaving her alone. She looked up, meeting Principal Strauss’s steely glare as the woman pushed a folder towards her.

“Here are all of your induction materials, as well as a key card for your room. You’ll be on the third floor of the boarding house, with the rest of the 10th grade, room 16. Miss Jareau will be here shortly to show you around.”

As if on cue there was a knock on the door, and once given permission it was gently pushed open with a creak and Emily heard footsteps approaching behind her.

“Miss Jareau, this is Miss Prentiss.”
Emily finally turned to look at the other girl. Oh. Oh she’s gorgeous. Oh no.

She was dressed in black jeans, with a pair of converse and a crisp blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up past tanned forearms. Her golden hair was pulled into a ponytail, apart from a few loose strands that framed her face, accentuating her cheekbones and jawline and Emily was pretty sure she had never met anyone quite so gorgeous and oh she’s had her hand out for me to shake for a while now hasn’t she?

“Emily,” she said, practically jumping out of her chair to shake the other girl’s hand.

“Jennifer Jareau,” she replied, “but my friends call me JJ.”

“Emily.” Wait a second you useless lesbian you said that already.

JJ giggled, dropping Emily’s hand. Right yeah I was still holding her hand. 

“Come on I’ll show you around.”

Emily spent the rest of the day trailing after JJ. They started at the auditorium, since it was in the same building as the Principals office, and the nurse’s office. Next was the building for the more ‘academic’ subjects; Maths, English, History, Geography, Computing, French and Religious Studies. Then the science building, with it’s state of the art labs, and the Arts building, with studios, recording booths for music, a huge costume store for drama lessons. 

The next place was Emily’s favourite by far, the library. Her home had a library of sorts, but it was cold and neatly organised and polished and she wasn’t actually allowed to touch any of the books in there because they were first editions and her parents would always see her as a little kid with grubby hands from hours spent running around outside. The school library was the complete opposite. Every book was worn, with cracked spines and dog-eared pages. Most had bookmarks and post-it notes still sticking out of them and they were everywhere she looked.

“The librarians here actually encourage writing in these books, as long as it’s in pencil so rude things can be removed,” JJ explained, “there’s a few you aren’t allowed to write in, the librarians will tell you which. The idea is that we share knowledge, if you think something about a passage you write it down so that anyone who looks at the book in the future can learn from you. Some people don’t like writing in the books, which is why they have scraps of paper in them as well.”

Emily loved it, she never wanted to leave. Unfortunately JJ was already moving on to the next stop of the tour, the pool. In the building with the pool there was also the gym and sports hall. Outside there was the field, which they shared with the Boys-Only school across the road.

The final place on the tour was the boarding house. The first floor had a large dining hall and the shared common room, then each grade had a floor to themselves,  9th grade at the bottom and 12th grade at the top, with access to the rooftop gardens. 

“We’ll go find your dorm first, then go to the 10th grade common room. You can meet Garcia and then we can come back downstairs for dinner?”

Emily nodded, all too happy to keep following JJ in relative silence until they reached Dorm 3-16.

“This is you,” JJ said, stopping by the door.

“What?” Emily replied. 

“Your room.”

Emily nodded, stepping up to the door, trying the handle and immediately walking into the polished wood.

“You need to use the key card to open it,” JJ said, smiling at Emily and biting her lip as she tried not to laugh. Emily rubbed her forehead, then grabbed the card out of the induction folder, quickly tapping it against the scanner on the door and stepping in before JJ could see the blush rapidly spreading across her cheeks. 

The room was like a hotel room, with a large bed in the corner, facing the desk with a bookshelf above it. Her bags and suitcases were on through floor next to the bed. In the corner of the room there was a door to the bathroom. Everything in the dorm was minimalist, stark white or cool grey. The only colour in the whole room was the red ribbon she had tied around the handle of her suitcase she knew it was hers. That, and JJ, who she was only just noticing had followed her in. 

“You can put up decorations, make it feel more like home if you want,” she said as though she had read Emily’s mind, “There’s a shop in the town we go to on weekends that sells little trinkets and posters. Garcia is obsessed with it.”

Emily looked around the room again. The cold minimalism already feels like my home. I think that might be the problem.

“Speaking of Garcia, she’s probably been waiting, like, forever for us. You ready to meet her?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess,” Emily said. She threw the folders she had been carrying onto the bed to read through later, then followed JJ back out of the room.

“Jayje!” 
As they entered the 10th grade common room they were immediately greeted by another student, a huge grin on her face. Her bright, colourful clothing was something Emily thought her parents would hate and she already loved it.

“You know when you said you were giving a tour to Emily Prentiss, I thought you were joking!” She laughed, jumping up out of her chair and bounding towards them, “I’m Penelope Garcia, you’re, like, my hero.”

Emily blushed, ducking her head. She saw JJ’s confused expression out the corner of her eye.

“Come on Jayje, she’s Princess Prentiss?” Garcia said as though it was supposed to be obvious, “You really need to start paying attention to politics.”

JJ turned to Emily, still confused.

 
“My parents are famous politicians. Well, infamous. Please don’t look them up,” she said weakly. Well that was basically an instruction to look them up. Might as well have given her a big red button labelled do not press. “And if you do, then just know I disagree with basically everything they stand for,” she added quickly, hating how her voice cracked suddenly when she spoke.

“I am So Sorry,” Garcia said, pulling Emily into a tight hug, “We don’t have to talk about them if you don’t want.”

“It’s okay, I really don’t mind,” she whispered.

“We’re good?” she held Emily at arms length, waiting for the brunette to give her a weak smile, “We’re good. Let’s go eat!”
She stepped around them, disappearing down the corridor. 

“I love her, but she can be a lot,” JJ explained. 

“She’s great,” Emily said, grinning at her.

Chapter Text

By Monday Emily had unpacked her bags, lined all her textbooks up on the shelf and gotten her room into something that resembled a living space instead of a white box with a bed. All of this had been done in between hours spent in the common room playing board games with JJ and Garcia. She had surprised herself with how quickly she had settled into an easy friendship with the two girls. She got the impression that Garcia was like this with everyone, that she was someone who was easy to get along with. JJ was a little harder to understand at times. Massive crush? Clouding my judgement? She thought to herself with a laugh. It’s more likely than you think.

The alarm clock’s insistent beeping eventually brought her back to focus and reminded her to drag herself out of bed and get dressed while they were still serving breakfast downstairs. It was the first actual day of the semester, which meant having to put on her uniform. To be fair, it’s only slightly worse than the non-uniform clothes her parents had packed for her.

By the time she made it to breakfast and settled at the table with JJ and Garcia at their usual spot in the corner the other two had almost finished eating.

“OK, how you look so good in your blazer?” JJ said as Emily began to eat the bowl of cereal at an almost dangerous speed.

“I do not look good in this blazer,” she said between mouthfuls of cinnamon toast crunch, pointing the spoon threateningly at JJ, who held her hands up in surrender.

“It might not be your style my raven-haired goddess,” Garcia said, “but at least it fits you right. I honestly thought they designed these to not fit right.”

Emily rolled her eyes.

“I’m gonna get more food,” she said, finishing her first bowl and hurrying back to the cereal bar before the others could say anything else. “What lesson do we have first?” she said, sitting back down, this time with a couple of pieces of toast, and a plate of sliced fruit.

“Math with Mr Hotchner,” Garcia said, stealing an orange segment.

“You have to be careful with him,” JJ said, “he insists we call him Hotch, which lulls you into this false sense of security that he’s the cool teacher, and then he’s actually the only person as strict as Principal Strauss.”

“Which is weird because you would think that would make her like him, but she doesn’t. Know one knows why she has a problem with him but she’s always trying to get kids to spy on him and give her an excuse to fire him,” Garcia added.

“It’s really weird,” JJ agreed, “But you stay on his good side and don’t talk to Strauss about him and he’s honestly a great teacher.”

They were right. While wary of his new student at first, he soon warmed up to her. Even though maths clearly wasn’t her best subject, she did her best to make him see that she was a hard worker who was willing to try. She even successfully fought the ever-present urge to snap at him when he asked about how her parents and Strauss had managed to get her into the school despite admissions having long since closed. By the end of the lesson he even managed something of a smile at his students, saying that he was looking forward to the rest of the school year, before sending them on their way to English with Dr Blake.

English was much easier for Emily, she loved literature and had similar tastes to Dr Blake, though she would never admit her interest in Kurt Vonnegut to the teacher. The lesson was mostly spent with each member of the class naming a book they had read over the summer, followed by a list of what they would be studying throughout the year. Emily had already read most of it with her tutor, but she didn’t mind getting to hear what Dr Blake would say about them.

As the week went on Emily was surprised to find herself enjoying the lessons, and her time at school. Yeah, she missed Matt, but he was pretty much her only friend back home, and BAU didn’t have her parents constantly watching her, so that was a bonus.

Art wasn’t much of a lesson and more of a “grab some supplies and draw to your hearts content,” and Geography with Mr Gideon seemed to be an hour long talk about everyone’s favourite birds.

“Happy Wednesday my nerds” was the first thing she heard the history teacher say when he walked into the classroom five minutes late on Wednesday morning. Mr Rossi spoke in Italian during the history lesson and she replied in Italian he laughed and loudly exclaimed “I like this one!”. Despite the focus on politics in the curriculum, the teacher was so funny she didn’t mind.

By the time they reached Saturday, Emily felt that the week had gone in a blink of an eye, and she was soon being dragged onto the bus to the local town to go for a shopping trip with JJ and Garcia.

JJ pointed out her favourite sights to Emily as the bus passed them and oh I think if she grabs my hand one more time I’ll have a heart attack.

She considered herself lucky that she didn’t just drop to the ground when JJ laced her fingers with hers to lead her to the coffee shop, Garcia running on ahead chanting the word caffeine OK repeat. The September weather was still warm, with clear blue skies and sun that made JJ’s hair shimmer gold and picked up every shade of blue in her eyes and Emily was doing everything she could not to stare when they sat at a table outside with their pastries and coffee.

The day spent shopping did nothing to make her stop thinking about the blonde. That day she had her hair down, a style Emily guessed, she reserved for days when they weren’t in school. The trio didn’t buy much, but Emily did manage to get a poster for her room. It had been rolled into a tube and she spent the rest of the day trying not to out herself as a nerd by making whooshing noises and waving it around like a lightsaber.

After lunch they found somewhere to sit in the park, where they could enjoy the sun for an hour until they needed to go back to the school.
“Hey, where were the boys today?” Garcia said, poking JJ to get her attention.

“The boys?” Emily sat up, looking at her two new friends.

“Spencer and Derek,” JJ explained, “They go to the all boys school, the one we share the field with. We usually see them in town on Saturdays. I think Spence had something he wanted to read, and Derek wanted to do some extra football practice. You’ll probably meet them next Saturday; we do a boys against girls soccer game at the start of the semester. I play central midfielder, we destroyed them last year.”

Emily sat up more, looking at JJ. “You play soccer?” Did that come out sounding like I was really excited? Yep probably.

“Yeah. This match is basically the only time the boys school and girls school are allowed to use the field at the same time, so this is your one chance to meet a cute guy or gaze at the boys playing soccer or something.”

Garcia’s head shot up and she glanced at Emily, who shook her head slightly, hoping Garcia would get the message to not say anything. Huh, I guess JJ took my whole don’t look up my family thing seriously. The pictures of her and Chloe were still the first this that came up when you searched anything related to the Prentiss family.

“Sounds great,” she said quietly.

As the day wore on the three made their way back to the school, stopping at a local pizza place to eat as they walked from the bus stop to the common room. After a very intense game of monopoly Garcia went back to her room to play some online video games with her boyfriend, Kevin, leaving Emily and JJ to play scrabble alone.

“JJ, ‘mooses’ is not a valid word!” Emily laughed, looking down at the tiles on the board.

“Well what’s the plural of moose then?”

Emily shrugged. “Meese?”

“I don’t think I have the letters for that,” JJ replied before dissolving into fits of laughter, grabbing Emily’s arm for balance as she sank down into the bean bag, then onto the floor, pulling Emily down with her. Soon they were lying side by side on the floor, struggling to breathe for their uncontrollable giggles.

“Emily?” JJ whispered when she calmed down and managed to catch her breath.

“Yeah?” Emily whispered back.

“Say something in French?”

Emily was a little taken aback. She glanced at JJ, her eyes flicking between the other girls lips and her impossibly blue eyes.

“Tu es la plus belle fille que j'ai jamais vue,” she murmured, “What was that about?”

JJ smiled at her. “I heard you in French class on Thursday. You’re pretty much fluent. It’s a beautiful language, but it sounds even better when you speak it.”

So this is how I die, Emily thought. Lying on the honestly gross floor of the school common room having a stroke because the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen is complimenting me? What a way to go.

“I don’t understand French,” JJ continued, “I keep trying, I just can’t remember all the words and the grammar.”

“I- uh- I could tutor you?” Emily had no idea how she had actually managed to speak, her heart was pounding and her thoughts were running at a million miles an hour. JJ grabbed her hand, sitting up suddenly.
“Would you? You’d be giving up your free time to basically do more school, for me?”

“For you?” Emily said, “I would do anything.”

Chapter Text

The following Saturday Emily was still reeling from her conversation with JJ on the common room floor. If she concentrated really hard, she could almost still feel JJ’s had holding hers. 

These moments spent trying to remember the feeling resulted in a lot of zoning out, something she was doing when she let Garcia lead her to a space on the bleachers overlooking the soccer field. 

“Emily, this is Derek and Spencer,” Garcia said, gesturing to the two boys who had been saving their seats. Emily blinked in surprise, finally noticing what was going on. She wiped her hand on her jeans, trying to wipe away the memory of JJ’s touch before it could get too distracting.

“Hey,” she said, sitting down next Spencer. Garcia sat between the boys, pulling Derek into a hug.

“Miss me or something Babygirl?” he chuckled. 

“A whole summer without a taste of my chocolate thunder? I don’t know how I survived!”

Emily watched them talk. Weird. I was sure Garcia’s boyfriend was Kevin.

“Emily as in Prentiss, right?” Spencer interrupted her train of thought, “Nicknamed Princess Prentiss, daughter of Elizabeth and Simon Prentiss.”

Emily rolled her eyes at the mention of her parents. 

“How about we don’t talk about them?” she said, trying her best to keep up a friendly smile, “Maybe avoid talking about politics altogether.”

Spencer nodded. It didn’t take long for them to find something else to discuss, soon falling into a heated debate about chess strategies, then poker strategies. By the time the match was ready to start Emily had already been challenged to games of both at some point in the future. Right as she was about to get roped into a bet she saw a flash of gold and there was JJ running onto the field, waving to her friends as she got into position, staring down her opponents while they waited for Coach Cruz to start the game.

Emily had to admit that she didn’t really enjoy sports, but seeing JJ running around that field more than made up for it.

“You would think that it’s unfair pitting the boys against the girls, but what the girls lack in strength they make up for in pure feminist rage,” she heard Derek say, following by a whine when Garcia punched his arm.

“The girls are just as strong as the boys and you know it, Derek Morgan.”

Emily laughed at their antics, still not taking her eyes off JJ, who expertly kicked the ball to another player. The blonde glanced up at her friends in the bleachers, briefly making eye contact with Emily as she jogged across the field. Another player called her name and she began sprinting, ready for the ball to be passed to her. Emily watched as JJ accepted the ball and ran, dribbling it across the field and right into one of the players on the boys’ team. She watched as JJ and the boy tumbled to the ground, where the boy was now writhing on the floor screaming in pain.

“Jayje!” she yelled as she leaped up from her place in the bleachers, running to the field. She would have run right to JJ’s side if Coach Cruz hadn’t stopped her, and all she could do was watch from the side-lines as JJ picked herself back up and jogged towards them, spitting out a mouthful of blood.

“Are you okay?” JJ said to Emily. “You look a little pale.”

“JJ you’re the one who’s bleeding.”

JJ laughed quietly, taking her water bottle from a bench. She drank a little, then spat more bloodied water onto the ground, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

“Gross, I know,” she said, seeing Emily’s horrified expression. “I bit my tongue when I went down. I gotta stay on the bench for the rest of the game, coach doesn’t like it when his players are bleeding all over the place. You can go back to the bleachers if you want, you have a pretty good view of the match from up there.”

Emily reached up, brushing away some of the grass and dirt that had stuck to JJ’s cheek. Doesn’t she know I’m only watching the game for her? 

“I’d rather stay here. Make sure you’re okay.”

JJ was beaming, showing teeth temporarily stained reddish-orange by the blood in her mouth.

“Maybe keep your mouth shut until the bleeding stops?” 

JJ batted her arm, then picked up her towel, pouring some of her water onto it and using it to attempt to wipe away some of the grime from her face, mostly just making it worse. Emily rolled her eyes and took the towel.

“Let me,” she said quietly.

 
Don’t black out.

She leaned forward, inspecting JJ’s face, her perfect jawline still perfect under a layer of mud.

Really don’t black out.

Her heart raced as she cupped JJ’s face with one hand, using the other to clean away the dirt.

I’m serious, really, really, do not black out.

She licked her own lips, her mouth suddenly dry when she wiped the traces of blood from JJ's lips, removing the last of the dirt that marred her beautiful face. She avoided JJ’s eyes as she put the damp towel on the bench between them, running her fingers through he soft, blonde hair when she moved her other hand away from JJ’s cheek. 

She blacked out.

There was a sudden pain to the side of her face and she had blacked out. That and the feeling of JJ’s hair were the last thing she remembered when she woke up in an uncomfortable bed with Garcia, Spencer and Derek standing over her.

“Looks like she’s waking up!” Garcia gasped, excitedly tapping Derek’s chest. 

“JJ?” Emily mumbled. My head is killing me.

“The nurse wouldn’t let her in here wearing her muddy soccer kit. Didn’t want her ruining her nice, sterile infirmary,” Spencer said. “We made her go for a shower and get changed, but we’ll let her know you’re awake and she’ll be here soon.”

Emily nodded. Oooh dizzy. Nodding bad. Don’t move head, got it.

“Wha-happened?” 

“Soccer ball to the head. Happens to the best of us,” Derek laughed.

“You probably have a concussion,” Spencer said, attempting a comforting smile. “You blacked out, you’re most likely also going to experience difficulty thinking clearly and concentrating, difficulty with forming new memories, headaches, nausea, blurred vision, dizziness, noise sensitivity, tiredness, irritability...”

“Makin’ it worse,” she groaned, trying to hide in the blanket.

“Thank you for that, Doctor Reid,” Derek said, slapping the other boy on the back.

“Alright boys, she’s awake. Time to get off the girls’ campus,” she heard another voice say. I know that one. Angry? Angry lady? Principal something. Strauss? Better not call my parents.

When she emerged from the blankets Strauss was long gone and there were now two very blurry figures standing by the bed. Blonde. Both blonde.

“JJ?” 

“I’m here, Em.”

Emily wiggled gleefully in the bed.

“Garcia, look, JJ is here!” she gasped, smiling at the other blurred figure. She blinked, her vision beginning to clear. The nurse was walking closer, handing a piece of paper to JJ.

“You girls okay to take her back to her dorm?” the nurse said. “She can have tylenol, no other painkillers, and I’ve written you a note giving you permission to stay in her room with her and keep an eye on her tonight. If you have any problems you can call my office on line two from the phone in the room.”

Garcia thanked the nurse while JJ helped Emily out of the bed, allowing the brunette to lean heavily on her as they walked to the dorms.
“The concussion made you pretty loopy didn’t it, Em?” Garcia said after letting Emily flop onto her bed, while JJ went to get her a cup of water from the bathroom sink. Emily sat up a little, looking around the room. JJ gone? Left? Where?

She groaned and rubbed her head.

“Pretty girl? JJ?” she murmured. 

She rolled over on the bed to face Garcia, who was sitting on the floor at the foot of the bed, smiling dopily. 

“You alright Emily?” Garcia chuckled.

 
“Pretty blonde hair,” Emily whispered. I want JJ. Where’s JJ? “So pretty. Pretty, golden, pretty.”

She giggled, reaching out to grab Garcia’s hand. She looked at her friend. Okay, Concussion Emily, concentrate. Soccer. JJ. Laughing on the floor. Holding hands. Can’t hold it in any longer. Must tell someone. 

She wriggled forward on the bed, so her face was inches away from Garcia’s. 

“I’m in love,” she said, the words coming out quickly, and loudly, so loudly. 

She heard a gasp, the sound of a plastic cup hitting the floor and looked up in time to see JJ running out of the dorm, slamming the door shut behind her.

Chapter Text

Emily was woken the following morning by the throbbing pain in her head and Garcia’s light snores on the floor next to the bed. She pushed the blankets away, standing up out of the bed, careful not to step on her friend. I’d have offered to share if she’d asked, she thought. She padded to the bathroom, stopping on her way to pick up a plastic cup from her floor. 

Oh.

Yesterday happened.

She thought back to the day before, the memories hazy. What was that Spencer had said? Difficulty forming new memories? Sounds about right.

She could remember the soccer match, the dirt on JJ’s face, the ball that hit her in the head. That was where the memories started to get fuzzy.

She was pretty sure the first thing she had done when she woke up was ask for JJ. 

She knew Spencer had listed off the symptoms of concussion.

JJ had practically carried her back to the dorm, with a little help from Garcia.

Where’s JJ now? She was reasonably confident that JJ had been the one who dropped the cup on the floor. Why?

She turned on the shower and brushed her teeth while she waited for the water to warm up, still desperately trying to remember. 

The memory was right there, just out of reach when she stepped out of the shower fifteen minutes later and it was starting to get frustrating. She got dressed quickly, drying her hair with a towel and went back into her dorm, where Garcia was just beginning to wake up. Emily squinted at Garcia.

Ohhh. Oh, that’s not good. That’s bad. This is really bad. 

She wanted to slap herself. 

I told Garcia I was in love with JJ! And JJ overheard because stupid concussion Emily didn’t notice she was in the room with us! I’ve only known JJ for two and a half weeks and I don’t even know if she likes girls. No wonder she ran off.

She sank to the floor next to the still very tired looking Garcia, hiding her head in her hands.

“I think I did something really dumb yesterday,” Emily said to Garcia, who blinked sleepily.

 
“You mean when I had to bribe you with chocolate so you wouldn’t try to do a backflip off your bed and get a concussion on top of your concussion?”

“What?”

“You’re act a lot like you’re drunk when you’re concussed.”

Emily nodded, picking at the exposed fibres in her ripped jeans, one of the few pieces of her own clothing that she had managed to sneak in between the clothes her parents had packed for her to wear at school. 

“You know what?” she stood up. “Yesterday can be blamed on the soccer ball. We should go get breakfast.”

When they arrived at their usual spot at breakfast they found JJ already there, watching a bowl of cereal turn into a sort of soggy mush.

“Hey,” she said, not looking up.

“You gonna eat that?” Emily said, pointing to JJ’s breakfast.

“Good to know the concussion didn’t do anything to your appetite. Take it if you want, I’m not that hungry.”

“I wasn’t asking for it. I wanted to make sure you’re eating. You never skip breakfast.”

JJ dropped her spoon into the bowl with a clatter.

“You’ve only known me two and a half weeks,” she snapped, leaving her bowl and walking out of the dining room. Emily watched her go, then glanced at Garcia.

“So, I didn’t imagine the part of yesterday where my stupid concussed brain decided to tell you I was in love with JJ”

Garcia shook her head.

“And JJ definitely overheard me?”

Garcia nodded.

“Wonderful,” she sighed, then pushed her plate away to join JJ’s abandoned cereal on the other side of the table. “I’m gonna go tell her I don’t remember anything that happened after the soccer ball hit me and hope I can salvage our friendship.” She turned on her heel, going after JJ.

“That sounds like a bad plan!” Garcia yelled at her retreating back.

Emily found JJ in the common room, flicking scrabble tiles into a sort of goal she had made out of pens. 

“Mind if I join you?” 

JJ didn’t look at her.

“I wanted to talk about yesterday.” She waited for the other girl to look up at her before continuing. “You seem mad at me and I just, I really have no idea what I said. Not in like a ‘I can’t work out which thing I said made you mad’ kind of way. I-uh- I don’t remember anything I said after the ball hit me. So, if I said anything to hurt you, just know I was concussed and not thinking straight and I hope we can move on from whatever it was.”

JJ stared at her, deep in thought. Just as Emily was turning to leave, she felt JJ’s hand in hers. How are her hands always so warm? In a really nice way though. Comforting warm. 

“I’m not mad at you. I think yesterday was a weird day for both of us,” she gave Emily a comforting, only slightly forced, smile. “You forgot it, I’ll try to as well.”

Emily squeezed her hand, running her thumb over the back.

“You want to play scrabble?” 

JJ looked at the pieces that were scattered across the table, then back up at Emily. 

“Wish I could, but someone was supposed to be helping me with the French homework after the game yesterday so I haven’t dome it yet.”
Emily grinned. She didn’t want to admit how much she had been looking forward to helping JJ with French since she had first mentioned it a week before. 

This quickly became the new routine. School on weekdays, go into the town or watch JJ play soccer on Saturdays and French homework on Sundays. The first month of school passed quickly and Emily was sure that her and JJ really had moved on from the concussion incident. 

“What do we have to do this time?” JJ said, sinking into her favourite chair in the common room one mid-October Sunday afternoon. The rain was pouring outside, making it a perfect afternoon for staying in and studying with a cup or tea, and Emily had been dreading it all week.

“Writing and practicing conversations about our families,” she said finally, placing two cups of tea on the table between them.

“Ah.”

Weird. JJ doesn’t look very excited to be doing this either.

They started by practicing the French words for each member of the family, then saying and translating some sentences the teacher had set for them. Eventually she couldn’t put it off any longer, she had to actually talk about her parents.

“Okay, uh,” she licked her lips. JJ knows I’m almost fluent. It’s going to look weird if I conveniently forget all the French I know. “Mes parents sont des politiciens. Le nom de ma mère est Elizabeth et celui de mon père est Simon. Je suis un enfant unique”

JJ stared at her.

“Your parents are politicians,” she said finally, “Their names are Elizabeth and Simon, and I didn’t get the last part.”

“I’m an only child,” Emily clarified. “Your turn?”

JJ opened her mouth to speak, the words catching in her throat. She reached for Emily’s hand, and Emily took it without hesitation.

 
“If you’re struggling, maybe you can say it in English first?”

The other girl nodded.

“I- I had a sister. Her name is, was Roslyn. I don’t know how to talk about it in French. I barely know how to talk about it in English.”

Emily brushed a tear of JJ’s cheek. 

“I’m so sorry, Jayje,” she whispered. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want.”

JJ shook her head.

“I want to tell you. I feel like telling you would help me. Just hold me while I talk, maybe?” 

Emily nodded, allowing the blonde to settle in her lap. She wrapped her arms around JJ’s waist.

Don’t think about how comfortable this is or how you would be fine with starving to death if it meant JJ never moved from this spot again.

 
JJ curled into her further.

“She killed herself,” she whispered finally. “she was 17, I was 11. I- I found her.”

Oh JJ. Emily tightened her hold on her friend, resting her chin on her golden hair.

“Part of the reason I came to this school was because I couldn’t stand to be in East Allegheny with the memory of her any longer. I was doing better, I was okay when I went back last summer. It’s just hard sometimes.”

She sat up a little, looking at Emily, who had tears in her own eyes at seeing JJ in pain. 

“What about you?” she sniffed, reaching to push Emily’s hair away from her face. “You were avoiding this homework as much as I was.”

“No I wasn’t.”

JJ chuckled weakly.

“Em, you managed to spend 20 minutes making us cups of tea using a brand you don’t even like.”

“Fine. When I said my parents are politicians I mean like, really into politics. Like I’m pretty sure they plan on taking it in turns to be president or something. Their whole thing is about family, the importance of family.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad,” JJ said softly. 

“Except they think every family should be just like ours. A man and a woman and their child. They’re against gay marriage, they think same sex couples shouldn’t have kids, they’re aggressively pro-life. All my life I’ve been part of their advertisement for what they think America should be like and it's just not me and I hate being associated with them. They hate me for not toeing the line so they sent me here to keep me from doing anything that will ruin their image.”

She stopped, taking a deep breath.

“I do everything I can to show the public I don’t agree with my parents, and they always manage to cover it up. And then I kissed Chloe and it was the first time I’d done something because it was something I wanted and not just something that would mess with them and the next thing I knew was this photo of me and her was in every tabloid and being treated like the scandal of the century and I was on my way here. Chloe broke up with me, of course, because what girl wants to date the daughter of those politicians who are actively trying to take away their rights?”

Well I wasn’t expecting all of that to come out right now. What’s next, admitting you have a massive crush on the girl who’s currently curled up in your lap like some kind of cat? Absolutely not no thank you. Say something funny instead.

“Not that I mind being here. Means I didn’t have to put up with spending an evening at a ball being introduced to potential suitors on my birthday.”

JJ sat up suddenly, looking surprised. 

“We missed your birthday? When was it?”

“October 12th.”

“Emily! That was four days ago, why didn’t you say something?”

She shrugged. Let’s change the subject.

 
“I’m hungry, are you hungry?”

JJ rolled her eyes.

“Fine. Let’s go eat.”

Chapter Text

Someone was knocking on the door to Emily’s dorm. Emily was throwing clothes and books into a suitcase and pretending not to hear it.

“Em, open this door, right now!” someone yelled.

Garcia? 

She put down the shirt she was miserably failing to fold and went to the door, opening it hesitantly. 

“Sorry I thought you were my chauffeur.”

She went back to the bag on the bed.

“So not packed yet?” Garcia said, taking the still open door as an invitation to come in. Emily gestured to the pile of clothes that sat on a chair, still waiting to be haphazardly shoved into the suitcase.

“I’ll take that as no.” Garcia said. She picked up one of the shirts and started folding it, seeing as Emily clearly had no idea how. “Why are you so miserable? It’s almost Christmas.”

“Why are you so happy? It’s almost Christmas,” Emily countered. She took the folded shirt from Garcia with a grunt of thanks. “I’m sure you'll have a great time with your family. I have a week of dealing parents colder than Atlanta in the winter. At least they didn’t make me go home for Thanksgiving.”

Garcia laughed.
“JJ said she would be here in a minute. We can exchange gifts before we have to go home.”

Emily smiled at that. The previous weekend they had spent a few hours in town trying their best to secretly buy gifts for the others before meeting back up at the coffee shop. Emily had never really had anyone to buy gifts for, apart from Matt, who only ever asked for fancy chocolate. She was proud of herself for actually having some idea what to get for her friends. 

“Oh good she’s still here!” JJ said as she hurried into the dorm. “I saw some fancy car and a guy in a suit and funny hat and I thought your driver had collected you early.”

Emily dropped what she was holding and ran to the window, looking out at the cars and parents in the courtyard waiting to pick up their children and take them home for Christmas. 

“Yeah, he’s here, we’ll have to be quick.”

She reached up to her bookshelf, where she had left the presents for her friends. 

“Em, honey, this is more tape than wrapping paper,” Garcia accepted the gift with a cheshire grin. Emily ran her hand through her hair. Wow I’m nervous. What if they hate them? I don’t know how to buy presents what if I got them the complete wrong thing.

“I’ve never actually had to wrap a present before,” she explained. 

JJ gave her a look that said ‘don’t worry about it’ while Garcia tore apart the wrapping on her own gift. She gasped in excitement, pulling Emily into a hug.

“JJ look! It’s the tenth doctor! A limited edition figure too! Spencer is going to be So jealous!” 

Emily smiled shyly. That went well. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Surely they can’t both go well. 

JJ began to open the gift, and Emily almost stopped her. This is ridiculous. You’re putting too much pressure on one gift just because it’s going to the most incredible person you’ve ever met.

She took a deep breath that she hoped went unnoticed by her friends.

“Emily I...” JJ gasped softly, looking at the gift in her hands. She lifted the pendant out of the box, allowing it to dangle in front of her face, catching the light. The pendant was shaped like the sun, with shining silver rays and an orange gem in the middle.

“I can’t explain it,” Emily said. “It just reminded me of you.” Something about how JJ is like the sun, bright and warm and how I could spend hours basking in her light, but let’s not say that out loud. “I really don’t know why.”

JJ threw her arms around Emily, burying her face in the crook of her neck. 

“It was that or a bag of cheetos.”

The three girls’ laughter was interrupted by a knock on the still open door. There stood a mam in a black suit, a warm smile on his face.

“Miss Prentiss,” he said.

“Hey Anderson,” Emily looked at her still unpacked bag. “Give us, like, ten minutes? I can carry my bag to the car on my own when we’re done.”

The man gave her a brief nod and disappeared down the hallway. JJ stared after him.

“Honestly there was a part of me that thought you were kidding about chauffeurs.”

“At least it’s Anderson and not one of the other ones,” Emily said with a shrug. “He lets me play The Smiths in the car.”

She shoved the last of the clothes she needed into her suitcase and hauled it off the bed with a mock groan of pain.

“Guess I’m off home then.”

“Excuse me,” Garcia said. “We haven’t given you your presents?”

Oh right. Gift exchange. And I was so close to successfully managing this very simple friendship ritual first try.

Garcia held out a large cylindrical object, smiling proudly. Emily took it off her, tentatively tearing away the colourful paper to find a poster, specifically the famous ‘I want to believe’ poster from The X-Files.

“I don’t know your stance on extra-terrestrials, but you have a tendency to sleep-quote the show when you’re napping in the common room. Plus, I hacked all your streaming services. I know all about your hidden nerd side, Prentiss.”

“My deepest, darkest secret!” she laughed. “How dare you reveal it.”

“The truth is out there, Prentiss, and the truth is you’re a nerd.”

In response Emily simply bopped Garcia on the head with the rolled-up poster, sending the girls into another fit of laughter. When they eventually calmed down JJ held a box out to Emily.

She looks almost as nervous as I was. Doesn’t she know I’ll love anything she gives me, simply because it’s from her?

She blinked a couple of times to dispel the thoughts when they got too sappy and romantic, instead focusing on unwrapping and opening the box.

Whoa.

Inside, on a bed of creamy fabric, lay a small wooden moon. It was clearly hand carved, made from ebony and covered in a varnish that made the light dance on the smooth, black surface. She lifted it out of the box, holding it up by the fine silver chain.

“Great minds think alike,” she murmured, looking at the present she had given JJ, which the blonde was still holding gently in one hand.

“Must be fate,” JJ murmured back. 

Emily put the poster on her desk to pin up when she came back after New Years, and put the box containing the moon necklace into the front pocket of her suitcase, then allowed her friends  to pull her into a tight hug. If they don’t let go maybe Anderson will just leave me here. A girl can dream. 

All too soon the hug ended.

“Well, I’m off for real this time,” she laughed quietly, hoping they didn’t notice the cracking in her voice or the tears in her eyes. “Happy Holidays. Joyeux Noël. Call me every couple of hours to make sure my parents haven’t driven me insane, don’t let me forget the outside world.”

The oldest trick in the Prentiss book of compartmentalising. Dumb jokes so they don’t see that you want to cry.

She wheeled her suitcase out of the room, turning back to wave at her friends as they yelled their goodbyes.

She stated at the moon pendant for the whole drive home. Must be fate. That’s what JJ said. Must be fate.

“Wish me luck,” she texted the group chat, earning a barrage of messages from JJ, Garcia, Spencer and Derek. The car pulled into the drive of the Prentiss house and she was met with a flurry of activity. Why do we need six butlers to get my one suitcase from the car to my room?

Her parents stood at the front door, almost smiling when someone let her out of the car. Her mother pulled her into a tight hug while her father watched on.

“It’s been significantly quieter without you around, Emily,” he said when she wriggled free of her mother’s bone-crushing embrace. “Significantly quieter.”

Something about his expression says “and I preferred it that way.” She nodded, unsure how to respond. It would seem that the simple act of coming home to spend the holidays with her family was already disappointing him.

After a rather ridiculous welcome home dinner, Emily escaped to her room, claiming she had a list of books she needed to read before they went back to school and she wanted to get a head start. Her mother was proud that she was taking school so seriously. Her father sent someone to her room in advance to make sure the window was locked and she couldn’t sneak out.

Christmas eve was spent in awkward silence, other than “Yes Emily you also have to make an appearance at this charity event,” and “Emily please stop putting pride flag pins on all of your clothes while photographers are around.”

The most uncomfortable part was that her mother kept hugging her. Her father smiled at her a couple of times. Always when a reporter was around. Every time a reporter asked if she was enjoying school and she would nod her mother smiled encouragingly, saying something along the lines “we missed our daughter but she has enjoyed her time away.”

Hold on. Missed? Enjoyed? Past tense, enjoyed? 

When they returned home after a late-night Carol service Emily finally plucked up the courage to ask what they were up to.

“This was supposed to be one of your Christmas presents, Emmy, but I suppose we can tell you now,” her mother said, her voice sickeningly sweet. “We found a brilliant private school closer to home, who are willing to take you after the holidays, so you can move back here.”

No. No. Absolutely not. No way. Not going to happen. No. Nope. Nein. No in every other language I can think of. Not in a million years. No. 

She knew her face had paled, it was one of the things that went with the sick feeling in her gut. She plastered a fake smile on her face.

“Can we talk about this after tomorrow? I’m pretty tired.”

“Of course we can darling.”

She ran to her room, wiping away panicked tears as she shut the door behind her, leaning back against the wood and pulling her phone out of her pocket. Her hands shook as she pressed the video call icon on the group chat with her friends.

Derek picked up first. He was wearing a Santa hat and his family surrounded him, chatting loudly.

“Emily just called I’ll be back in a minute,” she heard him say. By the time he had made it to somewhere quieter Spencer and Garcia had joined, soon followed by JJ. All of them were with their families, and she was suddenly terrified that they were going to be mad at her for interrupting them.

“Em? Em are you okay?” JJ’s worried voice cut into her train of thought. 

“My parents,” she managed to say between panicked sobs, “they’re making me leave BAU and move back home.”

“What? Why?” Derek said. His festive cheer was gone, replaced by cold anger at Emily’s family.

“I-I don’t know. They said- they said it was a Christmas present but I don’t want this.”

She could see Garcia typing furiously.

“Here! Guys listen to this thing from October,” she said, tilting her camera towards the laptop screen so they could see what she had been searching. Most of the writing was hard to read at that angle, but Emily recognised the photos. A family portrait of her and her parents, and The Photo of her and Chloe.

“Emily Prentiss disappears from public eye. Following last month’s scandal. Emily Prentiss,  daughter of Elizabeth and Simon Prentiss, seems to have disappeared completely from the public eye. For the last 16 years her parents were keen to show off their darling daughter at every charity gala, ball and political rally, but they now behave as if she never existed. They have refused to make a statement,” Garcia read.

“There’s more articles like it. One just after your birthday, people wanted to know why they didn’t have a party and they finally admitted you were at school. There’s a huge backlash about it. Even those who support them are angry that your parents tried to hide it and sweep it under the rug instead of dealing with it like the perfect family they say they are.”

“And now they want to take you away from us and make you play their political game,” JJ snapped.

“How many girls do I have to kiss to make them let me stay with you guys,” Emily joked weakly. 

“I can’t believe this,” Derek said.

“I can,” Spencer replied. “Historically the children of politicians have always been forced into things they don’t want for their parents purposes.”

“Trust me Doctor Reid, I know,” Emily said. At least the boy’s rambling had gotten her to stop crying.

“Just say the word and I will do a thing and you will be back home at BAU with us before you know it,” Garcia was already looking at all the private schools that Emily could be sent to.

“This is going to sound crazy, but I’m going to try to talk them out of it first,” Emily had now moved away from her door and was searching for her favourite Christmas pyjamas while they talked. “After tomorrow. I should play nice on Christmas. Speaking of Christmas, I don’t know about the time zones but it’s getting pretty late here. I love you guys, have a good day tomorrow, I’m going to bed.”

She ended the call and got ready for bed, already wondering what she was actually going to say to her parents.

Emily woke up early on Christmas morning. She had not woken up naturally, she couldn’t remember if there had ever been a Christmas where she hadn’t been dragged out of bed by a member of the household staff presenting her with the outfit she would be wearing to Church.

Church wasn’t so bad. Matthew had been there, and she had been allowed to sit next to him. They spent the service chatting about school in more code by tapping on their knees. It was something they had done a lot, and she was well practiced at not laughing out loud whenever he said (tapped?) something funny. It was almost enough to make her forget her parents’ schemes.

After the service ended, Emily had exchanged presents with Matt, somehow both getting each other the exact same brand of fancy chocolate. In fact, everything was the same, right down to the flavours of chocolate they had picked out. Her parents had attempted to set her up with Matt on many occasions, recognising that they got along well and had similar tastes in everything. Including the fact that we have the same taste in girls. She shot a withering glare at her mother, who was watching her talk to Matt with rapt attention. To her credit, Elizabeth simply turned away placidly, not wanting to make a scene until after they had returned home from church.

This meant that as soon as they made it back to the Prentiss house both the Schemes and Scenes were in full swing. Schemes and Scenes sounds like a group of bank robbers that do amateur dramatics on the weekend. I should write that down. Don’t laugh while mother is lecturing you about church. She’ll lecture you about laughing during her lectures and you’ll never get to eat.

After a Christmas dinner way too large for just the three of them, please these poor chefs it’s Christmas let them be with their families, they retired to the living room for Emily to spend the next hour opening presents and pretending to like the contents. The first presents were all pretty standard, albeit passive-aggressive, gifts, such as books on behaving like a lady, how to be a good housewife, and how to get a headstart in her political career. The next presents contained mostly jewellery; diamonds probably large enough to damage the floor if she dropped them. All of the jewellery looked like a set, immediately alerting Emily the beginning of a scheme.

When she reached for the final present, her mother announced that it was the one her and Simon were most excited for Emily to open. Definitely a scheme.

She unwrapped the presents to find a box with the name of her mother’s favourite dressmaker embossed on the surface. I have a really bad feeling about this one. She cautiously opened the box, finding a white dress inside.

“It’s modelled after your mother’s wedding dress from the day she married me,” Simon said proudly, taking Elizabeth’s hand.

“I hope you still fit the measurements we had taken for your school uniforms. We do know how much you like to eat when there’s no one around to keep an eye on you,” Elizabeth said.

How did I not see that one coming?

“Thank you, mother,” Emily hissed. She clenched her jaw, not trusting herself to avoid an argument.

“We thought you could wear it, and the jewellery, at the New Years Eve party. Go try it on dear.”

Biting her tongue, Emily picked up the dress and carried it to her room, quickly changing into it and looking at it in the mirror.

“You look like my mother,” she mumbled to her reflection. She pulled out her phone, sending a picture to the group chat and a picture to Matt.

“That dress is really something,” Derek texted back. She could just picture his face as he teased her in his usual big brother way.

“I look like a virgin sacrifice,” she replied.

“Or like you’re about to flee your brooding lover across the moors ;).” The message from JJ made her laugh a little too loudly, and she worried her parents would hear and send someone to see what she was up to.

“You have a brooding lover?” Spencer added.

As she was changing back out of the dress, she saw a reply from Matt.

“Good thing I’m taking you shopping tomorrow.”

The rest of Christmas was spent like most days in the Prentiss house, in relative silence. Simon disappeared into his office to get back to work (even on the holidays he never liked having a full day off. He was very Scrooge in that way).

 Emily found herself in an armchair by the fireplace, a book on her lap, Elizabeth in the armchair next to her. She risked a glance at her mother. She knew she planned on talking to her parents about school once Christmas was out of the way, but this was one of her rare chances to talk to her mother alone. Maybe she would be more agreeable without Simon there.

“Mother,” she said softly. Elizabeth closed the book in her lap with an expression that said ‘how dare you interrupt my reading’.

“Yes, Emily?”

“I wanted to talk about school,” Emily started. Talk quickly, don’t chicken out. “I don’t actually want to go to a different school. I really, really like it at BAU, I’ve settled in, I’ve learned a lot. I have good friends there.”

I was expecting her to stop me by now. Maybe she’s listening? Quick say something else.

“I know people think you’ve sent me away, and that’s probably one of the reasons you want me to come back. I thought that maybe I could put out a statement saying I’m happy with the decision you made.”

The idea of putting out any sort of statement in support of her parents made her feel like she was abandoning everything she stood for, but if this was what she had to do to get back to her friends then so be it. Her mother looked thoughtful for a moment.

“Emily dear, I am so proud of your initiative. We’ll make a politician out of you yet!” her mother smiled. “but there are other reasons to keep you away from BAU, and we already have everything set for you to come back home.”

“What? What other reasons?” Panic was setting in now, Emily could hear it in her voice. I hadn’t prepared enough for this.

“You see, I recently spoke to Erin, Principal Strauss, to see how you were settling in at school. She told me all about your friends. She told me how close you were becoming to one of the girls - Jennifer. About how you’ve been teaching her French, about how you freaked out when she was injured in a soccer match. How she tried to single-handedly carry you to the infirmary when you were hurt, and how she almost had to be forcibly dragged away from you while they were waiting for you to wake up. Your father and I would prefer that you and that girl are separated before you can allow things to get too far.”

Emily felt sick. If it wasn’t for the current situation she would have been touched to hear how JJ had acted when she was hurt. Have a crush on JJ later there are more important things happening right now.

“There is nothing going on between me and JJ!” Emily said. Technically true. “She’s my best friend.” Also true. “I promise you I don’t even like her like that!” The biggest lie I’ve ever told.

“We can’t take any chances dear. It’s about time you learned. The greater good is worth every sacrifice.”

Emily wasn’t sure when she had stood up. Why must all our confrontations end like this, with her winning every time? She stormed out of the room, slamming the door shut behind her. Not satisfying enough. She opened the door and slammed it again, harder. Better. She almost dropped her phone with how much her hands were shaking, ignoring all the unread messages on the group chat, just managing to click Garcia’s name in her contacts. 

“You’ve reached Penelope Garcia, supreme genius and oracle of all things, how I help you my raven-haired goddess?”

“G-Garcia?”

“Emily? Is this about JJ’s text?”

What? 

“I’m sorry, it’s Christmas, I shouldn’t be bothering you.”

“You aren’t bothering me, Em, but you have got me a little worried. What happened?”

“I talked to my mom about school. About how they don’t want me to go back to BAU.”

“Went badly?”

“Very badly. You remember that time I said I was in love with JJ and just blamed it on the fact that I had been hit in the head with a soccer ball?” Emily said quickly, still finding it embarrassing to talk about.

“Even though you are totally in love with JJ? Yeah, I remember.” 

“My parents seem to know about it. Like all of it.”

Garcia went quiet.

“Garcia?” Emily said softly. Please don’t disappear on me now.

“I’m here, I was just getting my laptop. Don’t you worry my darling, I’m gonna do a thing.”

Emily had just put the phone down, about to go to the bathroom to wash the drying tears off her face when it hit her. JJ’s text. Garcia thought I was calling about JJ. What have I missed?

She picked the phone back up, scrolling through all the messages on the chat, not really reading them until she reached the one from JJ.

No. Oh please no.

“Will asked me out,” the message read, “I don’t know what to say to him.”

No. Say no.

 
There were questions, photos of JJ with some guy, Will, she assumed. JJ looked happy, Will looked happier. Had JJ ever even mentioned Will before? Emily knew she didn’t talk much about life back in Pennsylvania, and she’d never actually thought to ask if JJ had any sort of relationships back home. Maybe she didn’t ask because she didn’t want to hear the answer. Judging by what JJ was telling the group, her and Will had been flirting back and forth all summer, teetering on the edge of a relationship before she left for school. 

Will knew her first. 

It would be unfair to tell her to turn him down just because I’m too much of a coward to act on my feelings. 

I could tell her now.

I’d rather tell her in person. 

But when I next see her will it be too late?

She looked at her phone. She knew that JJ would now know she’d seen the text. JJ was typing. JJ was asking her opinion. 

JJ is the reason my parents don’t want me to go back to BAU. They want to stop me from being friends with her because they don’t want it to become more. Even if Garcia fixes it for now, I know without a doubt they will drag me away from BAU the second I let it become more. I can make sure it doesn’t become more. I can sacrifice my feelings to make sure our friendship is protected from Prentiss Political Meddling. I can do it. I need to be friends with her more than I need to be with her. I can do this.

“You should say yes to Will, you look cute together,” she typed. She closed her eyes and pressed send. She turned her phone face down; she didn’t want to see any replies. 

I did it. I think my heart is being ripped out of my chest, but I did it. 

Chapter Text

By the time she was returning from her shopping trip with Matt the following day she had almost managed to take her mind off the whole school-and-JJ thing. Almost. Her parents were both working so it was easy to sneak the shopping bags into her room. Most of them were haphazardly thrown onto the bed to be shoved onto the floor when she wanted to sleep, but there was one bag that she hid in her closet, not wanting to let her parents see. Before she closed the door, she took one last look at the contents of the bag.

Perfect. It’s perfect.

Once she was sure she had hidden it well enough she risked venturing downstairs. The house was almost nice when she was the only member of the family in it, something about the absence of parental judgment made it feel a lot more homely. A glinting on the coffee table caught her eye and she approached warily, as if walking into a trap.

The key to her motorcycle, and a note. 

“Just for today. Be home before your parents, don’t let anyone get any pictures of you. I don’t want to get fired- Anderson.”

She knew she only had a little over an hour, but it was better than nothing and it wasn’t long before she was on the road, laughing to the roar of the engine. She stuck to the quiet country roads- less witnesses there and she could get away with the most exhilarating speeds. When she returned home her heart was racing, her cheeks flushed with excitement. I haven’t felt that alive since, well probably since JJ last hugged me. How was that only three days ago? It feels like a lifetime. Stop thinking about JJ. She said yes to Will. She isn’t yours to dream about.

Anderson gave her a broad grin and got to work putting the bike away, hiding the evidence of his little rebellion against his employers.

Speaking of his employers- Emily was only just home before them, and they were already fuming with rage.

She was reading a book by the fireplace, ready to meet their furious gaze with well practiced impassiveness.

“I have no idea what you did Emily, but you’re staying at BAU,” Simon hissed. 

“What do you mean?” she closed her book as she spoke, knowing he had stopped believing her ‘innocent’ expression long ago.

“You know what I mean. The new school called, through a series of perfectly timed glitches in many computer systems, your transfer from BAU has been cancelled. They can’t seem to fix it.”

Her mother was glaring at her. 

“You tried throwing money at the problem?” Emily suggested with a ghost of a smile. Her parents frowned.

“We tried everything. Wasted a perfectly good day we could have spent working on our campaigns. Apparently there’s nothing they can do until admissions reopen for you to start next September.”

So, I’m going to need a new plan before September. Can’t just keep leaving Garcia to fix it. Good to know in advance, thanks mom.

“What a strange and very coincidental group of technical difficulties,” Emily couldn’t conceal her grin any longer. “Well I best be getting on with some school work. There’s a lot of homework they’re expecting me to do before I go back.”

She sauntered out of the room. 

Garcia fixed it. I’m going back. Back to my friends. Back to JJ. Sure I can’t have her, but I can be around her again. What was it mother said?
“The greater good is worth every sacrifice.”
Please. Please let this be worth it.

When Emily woke up at noon on New Years Eve her parents had already left to oversee preparations for the ball they were hosting at an old manor house not far from the Prentiss house. The dress her parents had given her was hanging on the back of her door. This is a wedding dress and they’re trying to marry me off at 17. Emily touched the fabric. It was pretty, she had to admit. It was just not her. It was everything a Prentiss was supposed to be. Pure. Family friendly. Her thoughts drifted to the bag hidden in her closet. They have no idea what’s coming.

Again when she made her way downstairs her motorbike keys sat on the coffee table, with a note from Anderson. It was like the driver knew how much she needed it. After a week of messages about JJ and Will the ride would be perfect to clear her head.

Five and a half hours before she needed to come home and get ready for the Prentiss New Years Ball. Five and a half hours of complete freedom, only having to think about what speed she could take each corner before it became dangerous. More than enough time to forget that picture of JJ and Will on some perfect date before they went to a New Years party together, where they would undoubtedly kiss at midnight. Don’t throw up in your motorcycle helmet.

It was getting dark by the time she was getting back home, and she had very much not forgotten about everything that was going on. Her parents were still the way they were, JJ was still with Will and the motorbike was taken back to the garage as if she had never been out. Her phone buzzed with another picture of JJ and Will, dressed up for their party. She looks beautiful. And he’s there. Congratulations Princess Prentiss, you’re in a hell of your own making.

“Your parents are trusting you to do your own hair and makeup,” Anderson said. Big mistake on their part. “I’ll bring the car around to take you to the ball in an hour.”

She nodded to him and ran upstairs to shower. She dried and curled her hair, carefully applying her makeup. They’re never going to give me control of my hair and makeup again. She inspected the thick winged eyeliner and blood red lipstick. She had curled her hair, letting it tumble down her back in wild waves. After briefly (very briefly) considering the white dress and jewellery that had been laid out for her she opened her closet, pulling out the bag from her shopping trip with Matt. 

If they kill me for this then so be it.

She stuffed the white dress into the back of her closet and put on the replacement she had bought. A sleek, red dress. Blood red, like her lipstick. It was low cut and backless, with a slit up the thigh. She ran her hands over the silky fabric, then over her tattoo, which should have been covered by the long, lacy sleeves of the other dress. This was everything a Prentiss shouldn’t be. This was perfect. The black stiletto heels weren’t her usual preference for footwear, but they were as far from the nice white ballet shoes her parents had bought as she could get, and that was all that really mattered.

She put away the jewellery her parents had selected, instead choosing to wear the ebony moon necklace from JJ. It settled on her chest, cool against her skin. She brushed her thumb over it, following the curve. A part of her felt bad for using the gift from JJ as part of her rebellion, especially after everything she had done to avoid that, but she felt that the little moon was adding JJ’s strength and confidence to her own, and she needed all that she could get.

“Mr Anderson is ready with the car, Miss Prentiss,” a butler spoke to her closed door. Emily picked up a black clutch purse and threw the door open. She nodded to the butler as she passed, enjoying the sound of her heels clicking on the hardwood floors.

“I don’t think that’s the outfit that Mr and Mrs Prentiss chose for you,” Anderson said as he opened the car door for her.

 
“Are you going to make me go back inside and change?”

He shook his head, a glint of pride in his eyes. “I think what you’ve chosen is perfect, Miss.” 

The party was already well underway when Emily got there. The intention had been for her to make some kind of grand entrance, which meant being the last to arrive. The music she could hear coming from the building was a huge contrast to the punk and rock music that Anderson had played in the car, music from a playlist she was pretty sure he had named ‘Emily does a rebellion’.

A very fitting title for the coming evening.

The music at the party, however, was something between classical and jazz and even from where she was standing outside it made Emily wish she was deaf. 

“And now, making one more public appearance before she returns to school tomorrow evening,” she heard her mother say on the other side of the great double doors into the ballroom. “Our daughter, Emily Simone Prentiss.”

The doors were opened for her and she walked in like she owned the place, award-winning and very fake politician smile on her face. Her father audibly gasped, she was sure her mother was about to faint. The looks on their faces were absolutely worth every punishment she’d get.

“Good evening, Mother, Father.”

“Emily, dear! You look stunning,” her mother said through gritted teeth. All eyes in the room were on them, and Emily almost hoped everyone witnessed the perfect family act come crumbling down. Her fathers hand gripped her arm, covering the cat tattoo. Can’t keep it covered it all night, Simon.

“What happened to the outfit that we bought for you?” he said. He was smiling but there was a cold rage in his voice. 

“Doesn’t fit,” she shrugged nonchalantly. He let go, pausing to stroke the red mark his hand left behind. The people around them went back to their quiet conversation.

Well played, but I think I win this time. 

Her mother touched the moon on her chest and Emily turned away as if it had burned, as if Elizabeth’s touch would turn her now most prized possession to ash. 

“Where did you get that from?” her mother asked. Emily ignored her and went to the bar. She may not be allowed to drink, but she could still run up her parents’ tab on the most ridiculous and expensive non-alcoholic beverages instead. 

Throughout the night her mother introduced her boy after boy. Clyde. Sean. Andrew. Ian. Paul (though he insisted she call him Viper). 

I was right. She’s trying to marry me off.

Having determined that Andrew was probably the least insufferable she decided to stick with him for the evening. He seemed friendly enough, and dancing with him would keep her parents (and the other boys) away. He was fine with her insistence that she spent the night leaning against a wall in a corner, and asked her questions about school that weren’t related to grades. The night dragged on, but it wasn’t so bad with him there. She was in the middle of telling him the concussion story when her mother appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. 

“Emily dear, it’s almost midnight and you’ve spent the whole evening skulking in this corner, dragging poor Mr Mendoza with you. At least come join the party for the countdown.”

“It’s fine, Mrs Prentiss,” Andrew stepped in. “I didn’t really feel up to partying and your daughter was kind enough to keep me company. I don’t mind her staying here with me.”

Well that was honestly a surprise. It took me 17 years to get that good at lying to Elizabeth Prentiss.

Elizabeth stared at Andrew for a moment, then grabbed Emily by the shoulder. 

“I’m sure that Mr Mendoza wouldn’t mind if you spent some time with someone else, at least until after midnight. Besides, that Ian boy has been asking after you.”

You tried your best Andrew. A valiant effort. 

She was shoved towards the blonde boy she had met earlier. He was a little older than her, with a smile that could almost be considered charming. 

“Say hello Emily,” her mother instructed as she walked away.

“Hello Emily,” Emily said to Ian. He laughed. Don’t find me funny. I’m trying to annoy you into deciding I’m not worth it and leaving me alone.

He held out a hand, which she accepted hesitantly, and he led her in some weird, awkward dance that she hated with all her being. 

“Your father told me you are very good at French. Is this true?” he said.

“No.” French is reserved for JJ. Don’t ruin French for us dude.

“Any other languages?”

She ignored him.

“I consider myself to be a businessman. Do you have a good understanding of the world of business?”

Okay first of all, Mr Businessman, you’re like two years older than me. Don’t be so pretentious. Also what even is this, some kind of job interview?

“I’m not interested in business,” she snapped.

“Politics then?”

“Absolutely not.”

He looked thoughtful.

“Trophy wife?” he said with a grin.

Don’t slap him don’t slap him.

“Not interested in being one,” she said. “Wouldn’t mind having one though,” she added with a smile of her own. Make sure he knows you are really, very much not interested.

He laughed again. 

“You have spirit. I like that, a good challenge. I think I could tame you.”

Gross dude.

The sound of a spoon chiming against a glass interrupted them and she was all too happy to step away from him.

Elizabeth and Simon stood at the front of the room, the countdown to midnight projected on the wall above. Not long to go.

“Thank you all for coming,” Simon began. “This has been a very successful year for the Prentiss Political campaign, despite our Emily’s best efforts.”

Everyone in the room laughed politely.

“We thank you all for your continued support and donations, and hope we can rely on you, our friends, in the coming year. This year we, as a family, have made a joint resolution...”

Do not involve me in whatever insane thing you’re going to say next.

“Elizabeth and I intend to join the Senate, with our daughter’s full support. Together we can fix our country, together we can bring it back to what it is supposed to be.”

Cheers and applause echoed around the room.

How many of these people can I take at once?

“And so, with that said,” her mother quietened the crowd, “let’s ring in the New Year together!”

“10!” The crowd cheered.

New years resolutions: don’t be a coward.

“9!”

Stop doing what your parents tell you to.

“8!”

Even if you’re only doing it so they’ll forget other rebellions.

“7!”

Really don’t be a coward.

“6!”

Don’t let yourself shy away from JJ

“5!”

Even though you ruined your chances of a relationship with her.

“4!”

She’s still your friend. 

“3!”

Keep being her friend.

“2!”

Did I say don’t be a coward?

“1!”

Learn to fight back.

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!” The ballroom was filled with cheers and laughter. At the front of the room, she saw her parents kiss.

Gross.

Ian is very close to me.

Oh no he’s getting closer.

Emily leaned back away from him, his hand closed around her arm, pulling her closer to him.

No.

Nope.

Not kissing this guy.

Not in a million years.

It was as if everything had gone silent, as if Emily was trapped, the only person in the room with him. She could hear blood rushing in her ears, a rising sense of panic making it hard to breath, like he was squeezing her heart and lungs as well as her arm.

A resounding crack echoed throughout the room and Emily gasped as though she had just come out from underwater. A shooting pain ran from her knuckles up her arm and tears pricked her eyes.

I punched him.

I actually punched him.

She stood like a deer in the headlights, the whole crowd staring at her and the boy who’s nose was dripping with blood as red as her dress. There was something sickeningly satisfying about the drops of blood hitting the polished floors.

I did that. I fought back.

“That bitch broke my nose,” Ian gasped suddenly and the spell was broken. Her gaze moved from the blood on the floor to her parents faces. A whole new level of furious, and they were coming towards her, the crowd parting to allow them to move, no one wanting to be the ones to disrupt the coming conflict.

They probably can’t wait to see the show. 

I am not giving them a show.

“Happy New Year,” she muttered, turning and walking out of the ballroom. As soon as she was out of there she broke into a run, out of the building and into the extensive gardens. She heard her dress tear as she tripped, grazing her arm on the gravel pathway. With a groan she removed the black high heels, throwing them back towards where her parents were still hurrying after her.

Might as well go full Cinderella.

Though knowing my luck, the car is going to be a pumpkin and Anderson a mouse.

“Oh good you’re still human,” she said with a gasp, sliding into the back seat of the car and slamming the door before he could really register the torn dress and the cuts in her arms from her fall, nor her slight limp from running barefoot through the gardens and down the drive.

“Are you alright?” he said, taking his place in the drivers seat.

“Just get me away from here.”

He revved the engine and turned her music as high as he thought he could go without deafening them. She needed it. She could see her parents yelling as he drove away, but if they were yelling at them to stop the music was too loud for anyone to hear. She sighed and sank further into the back seat, watching the fireworks through the window as they sped past party after party.

What a way to start the year.

She knew her parents would go back to their party to smooth things over with the Doyle family and go back to pretending everything was fine. She also knew that they wouldn’t wake her if they found her asleep when they got home, they preferred to yell at her when she was fully awake enough to listen to it.

This meant she had an hour to clean up and get to sleep before all hell broke loose.

She did not sleep.

She managed to pretend when her mother checked on her, she was well practiced at pretending to be asleep in order to delay the inevitable lectures and shouting matches.

But even as the sun was rising, lighting up her bedroom with its weak winter rays she was still awake. It wasn’t that she hadn’t tried to sleep, but everything was aching and her heart was pounding in her chest and she couldn’t stop her mind from racing. Over and over, she went through the events of the night, preparing some kind of defence. She had nothing. At least, nothing her mother and father would understand. 

Eventually she gave up, getting dressed and padding downstairs, hoping to sneak some cereal or toast to give her energy for the coming fight.

They were waiting for her. Emily wondered if they had slept either. 

“We need to talk, Emmy,” her mother said, voice devoid of emotion.

“Can I get some breakfast first? I didn’t really get to eat much last night.”

“No,” Simon snapped. “Office, now.”

Emily took a moment to glare at him, giving Elizabeth time to grab her wrist and drag her to the office before she could run away.

She settled in her usual place facing their desk, gripping the arms of the chair to prevent her hands from shaking.

I said I was going to learn to fight back. Didn’t say I would be calm about it.

She waited for her parents to sit down.

They didn’t.

“What the hell were you thinking!” Simon yelled, slamming his fist down on the desk.

She stared at him.

“I thought you were out of control before, this is too far,” he hissed. “Ian Doyle is set to inherit Valhalla Industries, we need his support, but you insist on ruining everything for us. You can’t go around like a child throwing a tantrum just because we can’t give you every little thing you want.”

“I’m a child?” Emily snapped, “You are the one screaming at me because I won’t obey your every whim!”

“I am your father; I am the man of this house. It is your place to do as I say. I don’t see what you find so difficult about that.”

“Maybe I wouldn’t find it so difficult if your expectations weren’t so far outside the realm of possibility.”

“Our expectations are perfectly reasonable,” Elizabeth said, seething with rage. “All we want is for you to behave like a good, normal girl.”

“You want me to be just like you,” Emily said.

“Is that so bad?”

“I never want to be like you. I sincerely hope I grow up to be a much better person than you.”

Her mother faltered for a moment, sadness briefly visible in her eyes. I hurt her. I upset her and it honestly felt pretty good. Almost as good as seeing Ian Doyle’s blood on the ballroom floor.

“We have provided for you, haven’t we?” Simon said. His hands were balled up in fists so tight his knuckles whitened. “You are nothing without us, we could allow you to be nothing. You should be grateful that we still provide for you after everything we’ve done.”

“You make your money by bullying innocent people, I wouldn’t have it if you gave me a choice.”

“It was our money that you used to buy the dress from your little stunt last night. It was our money that you spent on the motorbike Anderson thinks he’s so sneaky in letting you ride.”

“If you are going to keep giving me your blood money I’m at least going to spend it on what I want.”

“No more allowance then,” Simon said, as though this was some business deal.

“Fine by me,” Emily replied.

The room fell into silence, a brief respite. Emily had been in enough of these arguments to know that this was far from the end of it, the worst was still to come.

“You are very lucky that Mr Doyle isn’t pressing charges,” Elizabeth eventually said. “Imagine how hard that would be for us to keep it out of the news. It’s bad enough that the rumours are spreading, but at least they are just rumours for now.”

“He tried to kiss me,” Emily mumbled.

“You should have let him. He’s a perfectly nice boy.”

“I didn’t want him to kiss me.”

“You might have actually like him kissing you, if you had let him. Maybe then you would have realised that this whole lesbian thing is just another of your cries for attention. He would have made a good boyfriend. Of course he doesn’t want you now.”

“I don’t want him either,” Emily said.

“But no, you just had to go and hit the poor boy.” 

Emily took a deep breath.

“You know what, mother?” she said quietly, “Deep down I really thought there was a part of you that would be just a tiny bit proud of me. You are in a career that has famously been a man’s world and you are successful at it, because you fought and you stuck up for yourself. But here I am, fighting just as hard as you did and you’re telling me I should just submit.”

“Your mother is different, Emily,” her father snapped. “At least she fought for the right things. All you seem to fight for is ruining our careers.”

“Not everything is about you and your career. How many times do I have to tell you that maybe I am doing these things for myself?”

“You can be so selfish Emily. I often wonder where we went wrong with you.”

She glared at her father.

“I don’t know. Try asking the nannies who raised me because you were too busy promoting your perfect family image to actually spend time with me.”

“We would be a perfect family if you would just behave,” he countered. “You were always such a wild girl, I thought that you would have grown out of it by now. Sometimes I think that maybe nothing we did or didn’t do could have prevented this, that there is something fundamentally wrong with you.”

She bit her lip until she tasted blood on her tongue. 

“Our lives, our career,” he continued, “would have been so much better, so much easier if you had never been born. Your mother wanted a child, and I wanted her to be happy, but if we weren’t always wasting so much time cleaning up the messes you make then we would be where we want by now.”

Emily looked to her mother, who looking very pointedly at the floor, biting her nail.

“I constantly find myself wishing that you were a better daughter, but every day it becomes increasingly obvious that I’m not going to get that.” He sat down in his chair, rubbing his brow. 

He looks like a weights been lifted off him. He’s probably been waiting to say all of that for the last 17 years.

Emily looked to her mother again. Please, please do something that will make this feel less awful. Give me some sign you don’t agree with him.

Elizabeth looked completely indifferent, emotionless. Emily took another deep breath. She felt almost hollow. Everything her father had said was something she had always suspected, but it was different to know it was true, and she was on the verge of begging her mother to tell her that Simon was wrong. 

“You should go pack,” Elizabeth said instead. “Anderson is going to take you back to school a couple of hours early.”

Chapter Text

Simon stayed in his office the whole time that Emily was packing her bags. With every item she packed she reached up to touch the moon necklace that she still hadn’t taken off after the party. Each touch reminded her that she was getting away from this house, going back to her friends. Going back to JJ. It was these reminders that prevented her from curling up in a ball on her bed and never moving again. There was a dull aching between her eyes from the effort of not crying, but she would not give her parents the satisfaction of seeing her cry.

She didn’t play her music in the car. The driver didn’t offer to play it, or see that she needed it and put it on anyway. That was something only Anderson did, and this was Not-Anderson. 

Anderson has probably been fired for being nice to me, she reasoned. Not-Anderson isn’t going to make the same mistake.

So instead, she sat in the back seat in silence, the aching in her head slowly worsening. She let her mind wander, even to all the places she didn’t want it to go. She thought about everything Simon had said, about how he hadn’t said goodbye when she left, about how in a couple of days he would probably play the perfect father in an interview and how his whole political career had been built on the lie that he loved his daughter.

The car pulled into the BAU courtyard and Not-Anderson opened Emily’s door, giving her a polite nod as she got out of the car.

“I’ll take you bag to your room, Miss Prentiss,” he said. She nodded, gazing up at the boarding house.

Good to be home.

“EMILY!” someone yelled. Strong arms pulled her into a hug and golden hair brushed against her nose and her headache briefly went away as JJ held her.

“I really missed you,” Emily whispered, her voice cracking.

“Em, sweetie, what happened?”

Those words from JJ brought it all crashing down, the walls she has been building since her talk with her parents that morning. She fell to pieces, her whole body shaking with her cries in the middle of the freezing cold courtyard, not caring who saw.

And JJ just stood in silence, holding Emily together until she was ready to talk. 

“I’m sorry,” Emily mumbled. She sniffed and wiped the tears of her face, then gently touched where they had soaked into JJ’s shirt. 

“It’s fine,” JJ said. She put her hands on either side of Emily’s face, gently forcing the brunette to look at her. “It’s fine, okay?”

Emily nodded.

“You want to go inside? I can make us some cocoa and we can talk?”

Emily nodded again, allowing JJ to take her hand and drag her to the common room. With every step JJ’s thumb brushed over the back of Emily’s hand. The whole thing was incredibly calming and absolutely terrifying at the same time.

The common room was empty of other people, they still had a couple of days before school started, so not everyone had come back yet. JJ had said that Garcia would be back tomorrow, and the boys the day after. Emily was a little disappointed, she had hoped to talk to Garcia about the whole JJ and Will situation.

But at least for now Emily could talk to JJ about everything that wasn’t the massive crush she had on her best friend. JJ had settled into a plush armchair, the old battered one in the corner of the common room with the cushions that you just sank into. Emily remembered the last time she had sat there, when JJ had opened up about Roslyn and she had talked about her parents. She wondered if the chair was just the place for difficult conversations. 

“Come on,” JJ said. Emily thought about how JJ had sat in her lap last time and realised the blonde was probably expecting the same. She reluctantly curled into JJ’s lap, and again the other girls strong arms pulled her close. This is fine. This is totally fine. A normal platonic conversation between two platonic friends and not a girl with a boyfriend and the girl with a massive crush on her.

“Tell me everything,” JJ whispered.

So Emily told her, starting with getting home the day before Christmas Eve, then about the charity event, the reporters, her parents ‘present’. She talked about how she had narrowly avoided being scolded in church and the white dress and jewellery, aware that a lot of what she was saying were things that JJ already knew about. She figured that it would ease JJ into the insanity of the holidays in the Prentiss household before she got to the rest of the story.

 She told JJ about how Garcia had been true to her word and fixed the school situation, skipped over the Will situation (obviously) and finally got to explaining what happened on New Years Eve. 

She surprised herself with how the tears sprang to her eyes when she described how Ian had grabbed her arm. The tears flowed freely when she told JJ everything that her father had said that morning. It was only this morning. It feels like days.

JJ didn’t speak. She stared blankly, her mouth hanging open slightly, then took Emily’s hand. 

“Well, I, for one,” she said, “am very, very glad that you turned out the way you did. I can’t ever imagine you being as horrific as your parents.”

Emily sniffed, smiling weakly at JJ.

“You did the right thing, you know,” JJ continued, “punching Ian. Standing up for yourself.”

“I know I did. I liked punching Ian,” Emily pulled her hand away from JJ’s, looking anywhere other than at her friend. “Is it bad that I liked punching him?”

“He deserved it.”

“That doesn’t mean I had to like it. Seeing his blood on the floor and I just felt relieved. And exhilarated.”

“I think I would have loved punching him. I might have even punched him twice. Maybe kicked him too, a good strong soccer player kick. So if you think your bad for liking it, then you should know I’m worse.”

“Jennifer Jareau, you are one of the best people in the world,” Emily smiled again.

“There we go then. You’re even better,” JJ leaned even further back in the chair as she spoke, sinking deeper into the cushions and making Emily lose her balance and fall into her. 

Does she even know that this is killing me?

Or that I want to stay right here for the rest of my life?

Which won’t be long since, you know, this is killing me.

Emily just hoped that JJ would mistake the blush as her cheeks going red from crying. It was that or move so JJ couldn’t see her face and so far, the only options to make that work were little spoon or putting her head on JJ’s chest, neither of which would really help.

“I looked up your family after you called to tell us about their plan to take you away from BAU,” JJ said, playing with Emily’s hair as she spoke. “The first time you made headlines as the so-called disappointment of the Prentiss family was when you were 4. You got into to dessert part of the buffet when no one was looking and dipped your hands in the chocolate fountain. The second time was when you were 7 and you skinned your knee running around at a charity event in the park. When you were 10 your got covered in mud playing football and walked home from school in the rain. You were home-schooled after that. When you were 13 you cut your own hair. When you were 14 you were seen at a pride parade. Your parents said that you had wandered in by accident.”

“I remember JJ, why are you telling me?” Emily interrupted.

“Because for all of those events you were a kid. And more importantly you were, are, human. Your parents have no right being disappointed in you for that. I’m proud of you, for never letting those headlines change your personality.”

“I’m glad they didn’t change me either. I have a great personality,” Emily mumbled.

“Hell yeah, you do,” JJ laughed.

Jayje?”

“Yeah, Em?”

I love you.

“I’m really tired.”

“If you fall asleep on me, I’ll carry to your dorm.”

Don’t tempt me.

Emily got up, eyelids heavy and feeling truly calm for the first time since she had arrived home for Christmas. Even the familiar ache that had settled in her chest since she had told JJ to date Will had faded.

Maybe JJ having a boyfriend isn’t so bad.

Nope. There it is. The aching.

She crawled into her bed, glad to be back in her dorm and not bothering to change or brush her teeth. She pulled her blankets close around her shoulders as she curled up, then closed her fingers around the moon necklace that she still hadn’t taken off.

JJ, she thought, her mind now foggy with sleep, JJ was wearing the sun one I gave her.

She drifted to sleep with a small smile on her face.

It was 1pm. It was 1pm and Emily was only just waking up, and not by choice. Someone was insistently knocking on the bedroom door, not taking her grumbles for an answer. She pulled herself out of the bed, still bundled in her blankets and opened the door, well aware of the crescent shaped imprint on her face where she had fallen asleep on the necklace.

“Emily did you sleep in your clothes?” JJ scolded, walking into the room before Emily could stop her.

“Dint wanna unpack,” Emily mumbled.

“Did you at least brush your teeth?”

Emily looked away sheepishly while JJ opened the suitcase that she had shoved off the bed the previous night, pulling out a toothbrush and toothpaste and handing them to Emily. She pulled the blankets off Emily’s shoulders and guided her to the bathroom. 

“Garcia should be here in 10 minutes and she won’t be happy if you aren’t ready and waiting for her, sleepyhead.”

Emily smiled, closing the bathroom door behind her. Two minutes later she stepped out and found JJ lying on the bed, reading one of her books. It was all so painfully domestic to have JJ looking after her, but she couldn’t just tell her to leave.

Instead she grabbed some fresh clothes from the suitcase and went back into the bathroom to get dressed so that JJ wouldn’t have to move. When she came back JJ was waiting for her, looking up at her expectantly, still on the bed with her legs crossed. 

“You look good,” she said, getting up off the bed and taking Emily’s hand to lead her to meet Garcia downstairs. “It’s different to what I usually see you wearing.”

“Actually this is pretty standard for me, you usually see me in what my parents bought for me to wear.”

“I think I prefer this,” JJ reached out to run her fingers over a loose corner of the oversized flannel shirt. “I think it’s more you.”

She has a boyfriend she has a boyfriend she has a boyfriend she...

“There’s my favourite girls!” Garcia was already hugging Emily before she had even seen her. “I guess the thing I did worked then?”

“That it did, I can’t thank you enough,” Emily grinned at her.

A few minutes later they were on the bus to try out that new café in town because Garcia had been in the car for hours and she hadn’t stopped to eat. The trio spent the afternoon feasting on burgers, fries and milkshakes, safely tucked away in a booth in the corner of the café (which had actually turned out to be more like a diner), hiding from the early January weather.

Eventually they had to brave walking back to the bus stop in the pouring rain, JJ giggling at Emily and Garcia’s pouting.

“Okay Miss I-Play-Soccer-In-The-Rain-All-The-Time,” Garcia said when they sat at the back of the almost empty bus, “I’d like to see you try to code a whole website.”

“Or fake smile while someone takes photos of you for an hour,” Emily added.

“Suck it up, wimps,” JJ laughed. “Speaking of playing soccer in the rain, Coach Cruz wants to talk to the team this evening, most of us should be back by now.”

Oh no Garcia’s gonna make me talk about my feelings for JJ. How quickly can I join the soccer team?

That evening Emily found herself in Garcia’s dorm, sitting on the bright pink bedding with a stuffed octopus plushie in her lap. Garcia was sitting in her desk chair, cradling a mug of cocoa topped with a copious number of vegetarian marshmallows. She stared at Emily over the rim of the mug. Emily stared back. 

“So,” Garcia said.

Quick talk about baby animals.

“You told JJ to go for Will,” she said.

“They look good together,” Emily replied.

“You and JJ look good together. You and JJ were pretty much already together.”

Emily shrugged. “My parents used that as one of their excuses to take me away from here. I couldn’t let it become real, they would take me away no matter what you can do.”

“Emily...”

“They wouldn’t just take me away; they’d take me phone. They would cut off all my contact with you guys.”

“Emily,” Garcia said, “When have you ever let what your parents do control your behaviour?”

“When it became the only definite way to preserve my relationship, not just with JJ but with you, Spencer and Derek. You guys are my friends. I love you, I love JJ. I would rather be heartbroken over JJ than lose all of you.”

“Sweetie...” Garcia said softly. She finished her cocoa and joined Emily on the bed.

“It’s fine. I’m fine. It’s just a stupid crush, I’ll get over her.”

“You’re sure?”

No.

“Yeah,” Emily said. “I’ll focus on school. Just, you’ll be there for me when it hurts? Right?”

“Always, Sweetie.”

Emily smiled, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. Soon she had curled up on the bed, her head in Garcia's lap while the other girl braided her hair, watching Star Trek on one of Garcia’s many computers.

True to her promise, Garcia was always ready with a comforting touch on Emily’s arm whenever JJ mentioned Will. And JJ seemed to talk about Will a lot, a constant reminder for Emily of everything she wanted with JJ. 

These days instead of working in the common room while JJ was at soccer practice, Emily found herself in Garcia’s room, still working quiet but basking in the comforting presence of her friend.

French lessons with JJ became much more focused on actual French rather than each other,. She knew that nothing that was happening was even close to being JJ’s fault, that JJ had been nothing but wonderful about everything that had been going on with the Prentiss family, but she couldn’t help but feel angry whenever she was with the blonde.

Not that I’m angry with JJ. This, all of this, is on me. To blame her is selfish, I made my choice.

Weeks went by, Emily’s grades improved, putting her at the top of her classes. The weather warmed up and Emily found more and more excuses to avoid spending time alone with JJ. 

She heard nothing from her parents for three months, if they got the message that she was staying at school over spring break they never acknowledged it. She hardly spoke to JJ for the week before spring break, as all JJ seemed to talk about was how excited she was to see Will again.

On the day everyone else was leaving, Emily was sitting on her bed, finishing some extra credit work for Mr Rossi (not that she needed it, as he had pointed out to her many times, but he was still happy that she was showing interest and seemed to have noticed that she needed the work to distract herself). Most students had already left, leaving just a few stragglers, the seniors who chose to stay and concentrate on studying, and Emily. Someone knocked on the door.

“It’s open,” she said, not looking up. JJ stepped in, a duffel bag in hand.

“My mom’s here to pick me up,” she said.

“Okay. See you,” Emily replied, still typing. 

JJ put her bag down. “Emily I don’t know exactly what’s been going on with you these last few months. What I do know is we haven’t had a real conversation since that day you got back after Christmas, and I miss you, and I’m worried about you. So if you aren’t going to talk to me, at least tell me you’ll talk to someone else? And maybe we can get back to normal?”

How? How can she not know? How am I supposed to explain this?

I miss her too.

I really miss her.

Emily put down her laptop, crossing the room and pulling JJ into a hug.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, “I’m so sorry. I miss you and I never know what to say to you and, please forgive me?”

“Em, it’s okay,” JJ played with Emily’s hair as she spoke, “it’s okay. I forgive you. I’ll call you, when I get home, yeah? We can talk, properly.”

“I’d like that,” Emily stepped back. “Video calls too, whenever you want. I’m not exactly going to be busy this week, so you can call whenever.”

“As long as it’s after midday, so you’ll actually be awake.”

“Or before I go to bed at 3am,” Emily grinned at her, and for the first time in months JJ was smiling with her. For the first time in months she felt calm. 

With one last hug, JJ left. She called Emily minutes later, saying she didn’t see the point in waiting until she got home when she could just talk to her I’m the car. For the next 3 hours they talked about their favourite tv shows, Derek’s new girlfriend, something funny that Mr Rossi had said and the legitimacy of the rumours that Mr Rossi had 3 ex-wives. 

Emily video called JJ every day, usually in the evenings, content to talk about anything until the blonde fell asleep without hanging up. One night she found herself telling JJ a bedtime story, making it up as she went along, with JJ sleepily correcting the details she kept forgetting. The one thing they hadn’t talked about was Will. 

At least they hadn’t until the day before JJ was supposed to come back from school. Emily once again found herself waking up at noon, immediately checking her phone for anything she had missed while she was asleep. There were a couple of messages from Garcia, pictures of a cat she had seen on a surfboard while with her family in California. A message from JJ.

“Will and I broke up,” it read. Emily read it again. And then a couple more times. Just to make sure.

“Are you okay?” she replied. No answer. She gave it a minute. Still no answer. She called, JJ didn’t pick up. 

13 unanswered calls later and Emily was no closer to finding out what was going on. 7 texts. Nothing. She left her phone in her room while she went downstairs to get some food, knowing if she took the phone with her she would be too busy checking it to eat.

 
One quickly-devoured bowl of pasta later she was running back up to her room, taking the stairs two at a time, glad that no one was really around to witness it. She ran to her phone. One new message.

“Would rather talk to you in person, see you tomorrow.”

Chapter Text

She went to bed that night at 8pm, like a little kid waiting for their birthday, working on the theory that the sooner you sleep the sooner it will come. Not that she really slept. Her mind was racing.

Who broke up with who?

Why did they break up?

Is it terrible that I’m glad they did?

What if she’s heartbroken?

The next morning she sat in the common room, in the ‘difficult conversation chair’, pretending to read to pass the time and trying to act like she didn’t look up hopefully every time she heard footsteps.

“Gotta go, chocolate thunder, our resident vampire is out of bed during the daylight hours I should see what’s going on.”

Emily laughed quietly when she heard Garcia’s voice.

“What do you mean resident vampire?”

“Have you looked in the mirror lately?” Garcia countered, collapsing into a chair next to her.

“Can’t. Reflection doesn’t seem to be showing up,” she said, turning back to her pretend reading.

“So, does risking contact with sunlight and bursting into flames have anything to do with a certain blonde soccer player and her recent breakup?”

She snapped the book shut.

“And what if it does?”

Garcia laughed. “Just wondering if I need to be out of the way when Miss Pennsylvania Petite gets back.”

“You don’t have to do that. Me and JJ can wait.”

“I think you’ve waited long enough,” Garcia said. “She’s downstairs if you’re sure?”

“I’m sure. If there’s anything that’s been made clear to me through this whole thing, it’s that my friends are just as important as whatever drama I have going on with JJ. I’m not going to send you to your room alone just so I can talk to JJ. She probably wants to talk to both of us anyway.”

She’s looking at me funny.

Did JJ say something to Garcia?

Am I just getting my hopes up?

“Hey, JJ!” Garcia said suddenly. Emily jumped up, scrambling out of her chair and tripping over a coffee table. She could hear Garcia laughing behind her, and saw no sign of the girl she had been thinking about all day. She rolled over, looking up at Garcia.

“I will kill you.”

“Oh come on Em, I figured I needed to do something that would help you get all of your nervous energy out before she got here. At least this way she didn’t see you trip over a coffee table.”

Emily sighed deeply, closing her eyes.

“What’s Em doing on the floor?”

Emily sat up suddenly, twisting around to see JJ standing in the doorway, staring at her in amusement.

“She tripped over the coffee table,” Garcia said.

JJ laughed, walking across the room and helping Emily up, her fingertips brushing across Emily’s back as she steadied her. Emily reached back, taking JJ’s hand in hers and squeezing it gently.

“Hey,” she murmured.

“Hey yourself.” JJ smiled at her, blue eyes shining.

They turned to Garcia, who watched with a dazed expression, mouth hanging open slightly. JJ blushed, turning her head away while Emily narrowed her eyes at Garcia.

“I’ll go put my bags in my room and then we can meet downstairs to head into the town?” JJ said suddenly, dropping Emily’s hand. Emily nodded, looking more than a little crestfallen while JJ disappeared from the common room.

Garcia squealed in excitement.

“The electricity! The tension! Kissing in the rain with fireworks in the background has nothing on what just happened there!”

Emily rolled her eyes, putting her book into her bag.

“I think I’d rather be kissing in the rain.”

That evening Garcia went to her dorm early to ‘check on her computers’, not without a conspiratorial wink to Emily, who had returned to The Chair. It wasn’t long before Emily and JJ were the only people left in the room, many of the other students wanting an early night in order to spend the next day finishing off any assignments before school started again on the Monday. So once again Emily found JJ curled in her lap like an oversized (and very clingy) blonde cat. JJ closed her eyes, sighing contentedly as Emily played with her hair.

“So,” the blonde whispered.

“So,” Emily said, with the slightest laugh.

“Me and Will.”

Here we go.

“You and Will,” Emily said, her hand drifting away from JJ’s hair. JJ mumbled something under her breath and shifted to intertwine her fingers with Emily’s.

“I didn’t really love him,” JJ blurted, “I’m not even sure I liked him that much.”

“oh?”

“I think I only went out with him because I thought he’d distract me from liking someone else. He picked up on that.”

Emily nodded.

“So he broke up with me. Told me to sort out my feelings. And that’s really scary.”

“Why?” Emily said softly.

“A relationship with Will would have been easy. He’s just some nice guy who moved from New Orleans to Pennsylvania and that’s basically the closest to complicated he gets, and I could be sure that he liked me. Plus he has parents who actually supported my relationship with him.”

Panicking. Panicking slightly.

“So you chose him. Because the person you really like has parents who wouldn’t have liked the relationship.”

JJ shook her head.

“Her parents really wouldn’t support it. They’re sort of powerful, they tried to split us up and we weren’t even together, and I was never sure that was the reason why until I talked to Garcia.”

Panicking more than slightly.

“Maybe she likes you back. And maybe she’s long past caring about whatever it is her parents are up to,” Emily replied.

“If she’s long past it, why did she tell me to go for Will?”

“Maybe she got her act together too late. Even-” Emily took a deep breath, “-even though I liked you from day one.”

JJ sat up suddenly.

“You what?”

Emily’s eyes widened.

“Uh, yeah, wait, what?”

“Are you sure?”

“JJ, you are all I’ve been able to think about since I got here. Yeah, I’m sure.”

“But, but what about the concussion?” JJ mumbled under her breath.

“When I said I was in love with you?”

Emily yelped when JJ punched her in the arm.

“You said you didn’t remember anything that happened then!”

“Well yeah, you overheard me say I was in love with you and then you were acting super weird and I lied to smooth things over.”

“You said—” JJ faltered. “I heard you say you were in love with Garcia.”

“You—” the details from that day are a little hazy. “walk me through it. Tell me what you saw and heard.”

“Okay. I was in the bathroom getting you some water. I came out of the bathroom to find you with your face inches away from Garcia’s, smiling all dopey and in love and you said  ‘I’m in love’ to her.”

Emily laughed. She didn’t even care that laughing was uncomfortable with JJ on her lap.

“JJ while you were in the bathroom I was talking to Garcia about you. My stupid concussed brain was trying to tell Garcia that I was in love with you.”

JJ started laughing too. Her hands shook as she placed them on Emily’s cheeks, cupping her jaw.

“I got scared when I heard you, because I thought you didn’t love me like I love you,” she whispered.

Emily sat up, shifting in the chair, causing JJ to fall forward. Her hands settled on JJ’s waist, her eyes drifted to JJ’s lips.

“I got so scared when you ran out, for the same reason.”

“And instead of just talking to each other you told me you didn’t remember anything and we wasted the last few months,” JJ laughed softly, leaning in closer.

“Allow me to make it up to you,” Emily murmured.

“I would like that very much,” JJ whispered, her thumb brushing Emily’s cheek, leaning forward to close the gap between them.

JJ jumped back, almost falling away from the chair, and sending Emily into blind panic.

“JJ! I-I’m so sorry, I didn’t, I thought,” she gasped for breath, then paused, confused when she saw JJ giggling.

“Em, Dr Blake is standing in the doorway,” JJ whispered.

Oh this can’t be good.

“I didn’t notice, I- I was so focused on you,” Emily whispered back, finally turning to look at Dr Blake, who was leaning casually against the doorframe, looking amused.

“Sorry to interrupt,” she said, Emily was surprised to notice that she did look genuinely apologetic.  “But Principal Strauss received a notification that neither of your keycards had been scanned into your rooms, and since it’s after curfew she asked that I make sure you didn’t, uh, lose track of time.”

Emily could feel the heat rising in her cheeks.

“Sorry, Dr Blake,” JJ said softly, with the confidence of someone who didn’t just get caught sitting on another girls lap, moments away from kissing her, “We’ll go to bed now.”

“I’ll tell Strauss you were studying,” the teacher said softly.

So I guess not all the staff at this school are spying on me for my parents.

JJ smiled politely as she stood up, then held out her hand to help Emily up, not letting go as she dragged her past Dr Blake and into the hallway, barely making it three steps before they were caught in a fit of laughter. Emily stumbled, leaning against the wall next to her bedroom door, struggling to catch her breath.

“Did that really just happen?” JJ whispered, “Because I am pretty sure I blacked out from ‘allow me to make it up to you’.”

“You were very calm under pressure for someone who blacked out,” Emily giggled. “We’ll just have to continue this next time we get a chance.”

“Can’t wait,” JJ said, pressing a kiss to Emily’s cheek and hurrying to her own room, leaving the brunette somewhat shellshocked in the hallway.

“Happy Wednesday my nerds,” Mr Rossi said proudly, walking into the classroom 10 minutes late with what was probably the most expensive Starbucks he could get his hands on.

I’m pretty sure there isn’t even a Starbucks close to this school.

Emily barely listened as Mr Rossi talked about the civil war or the revolutionary war or one of the world wars or something related to war (she was fairly certain it was war related, since that was the only word she had written down. It would be very awkward if they were actually talking about the great depression). It was Wednesday, as the teacher had announced in his usual fashion, which meant that it had been a little over two full days since the almost-kiss with JJ and between classes, soccer practice and hours spent under the watchful eye of Strauss’s flying monkeys the girls had barely been given a chance to talk. Instead Emily had been forced to settle for glances across classrooms and dumb jokes sent via text. At least in history class she sat next to JJ.

“So I want you all to look through the textbook and write down the events that led to the beginning of the Vietnam war,” Mr Rossi said, sitting at his desk.

I knew we were talking about something war related.

She began absent-mindedly flicking through the textbook, risking a glance at JJ’s notes.

At least one of us was paying attention.

JJ smirked at her as if she had been reading her mind, and angled the notebook slightly so it would be easier for Emily to copy what she had written down.

At the front of the classroom, Mr Rossi’s computer chimed, and he began muttering in Italian. He looked up at Emily, then back at the computer. The second time he glanced at Emily she began to sense that something was wrong, and the third time she felt JJ’s hand in hers. The blonde must have sensed it too.

“Emily,” Mr Rossi’s expression was soft and sympathetic, enough that she began to feel the panic rising in her gut. “Principal Strauss wants to see you in her office.”

She barely felt the comforting squeeze of JJ’s hand in hers when she picked up her bag and exited the classroom, thousands of possibilities running through her mind.

What if they fixed the problems Garcia caused and I’m going to that other school after all, or worse, they decided to just go back to homeschooling. Or Dr Blake changed her mind and told Strauss about how she caught me and JJ. But wouldn’t JJ be going to the office too? What else have I done recently?

She stopped outside the office door, took a deep breath and then knocked.

“Come in,” she heard Strauss say, her tone impossibly sweet. When she opened the door she was met with the same sympathetic look as the one on Mr Rossi’s face. When she took a step inside she saw her mother, teary-eyed with a tissue in her hand.

“What- what’s going on?” she knew she sounded like a scared little kid but she didn’t care.

Her mother pulled her into a hug, ignoring the way that Emily tensed up in her arms.

“Emily, sweetie,” Elizabeth said quietly, voice wavering, “It’s your father. He’s had a heart attack. He, he didn’t make it.”

Chapter Text

My dad…

He’s…

The rising sense of panic was back, the range of emotions becoming too overwhelming, the room spinning. She took a step back, feeling the bookshelf behind her pressing into her back.

My dad’s dead.

Her mother was waiting in the car. She was in her dorm, packing some clothes for the week, to go home.

To go to the funeral.

The sick feeling hadn’t left her stomach, not even with the fresh air from the walk back to the boarding house. She concentrated on what she was packing, trying to remember what she needed and what she still had at home, trying to avoid the jumble of memories of her father, every good and bad thing he had ever said and done. She ignored the persistent knocking on the door. She zipped up her bag, tried not to cry with frustration when she saw the small pile of things she had missed. The knocking got louder.

“Em, it’s me, come on, open the door,” the voice was calm, soothing.

1. Oh, JJ you have no idea how much I need you now.

She opened the door, collapsing into JJ’s open arms.

“Mr Rossi let me out of class to see you. What’s happening?”

Emily shook her head, clinging onto the blonde a little longer.

“My Father,” she whispered finally, “He, he had a heart attack.”

JJ held her tighter then.

“I have to go home for the funeral,” Emily began extracting herself from JJ’s arms, “I need to pack, I- I’m keeping my mom waiting.”

JJ stood up with her, brushing the other girl’s dark brown hair away from her face and taking her hand.

“Let me help,” she said softly. “What do you need me to do?”

Come home with me. Hold my hand, don’t let me drown in a sea of reporters and politicians and my own confusing emotions.

“Stay with me? Until I have to go?”

“Of course.”

JJ sat on the bed, quietly folding clothes and dutifully handing Emily things from the pile on the floor until she was sure that she had everything. Emily knew she had tears rolling down her cheeks, she had given up trying to control them, and she found herself surprisingly grateful that JJ wasn’t pushing her to talk. When she finally closed her bag again the tears came in full force.

“I don’t want to go yet,” she whispered between sobs.

“Then don’t,” JJ whispered back.

“My mom’s waiting downstairs, she needs me.”

“What if, just this once, you put yourself first. For five minutes.” JJ said, already going into the bathroom for tissues and a glass of water.

“I don’t even know why I’m crying,” Emily said after she had dried her eyes and drank the water, “It’s not like he was dad of the year. He isn’t worth all this.”

JJ let her hand rest between Emily’s shoulder blades.

“He used to be better, before I developed opinions, when I was still his little girl,” she laughed bitterly. “But that was so long ago I barely remember it. I wasted years trying to get that back, hoping he would change.”

“Maybe that’s what you’re mourning?” JJ offered, “Not the dad that he was but what he could have become. You’re sad that he’ll never get the chance to redeem himself, to see you grow up and be with whoever you want and live however you want and for him to be happy for you.”

“You are wise beyond your years, Jennifer Jareau,” Emily wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, picked up her bag and stood up. “I should probably go now.”

I really don’t want to go.

“I wish I could come with you,” JJ said.

I wish you could come with me too.

“I’ll call you. When I get a chance.”

The car ride home was long and uncomfortably quiet, the silence occasionally interrupted by her mother’s sighs. A pile of flashcards sat on the seat between them, notes on what needed to be said during the coming press conferences, the only sign that her mother was the same cold politician that she had left behind after New Years. Emily reached across the flashcards, taking her mother’s hand in hers.

“We’ll be okay, mother,” she said softly. Just for this week I will be the perfect, dutiful daughter he wanted, the daughter she needs me to be right now. It is the least I can do.

So, when they arrived at the Prentiss house Emily did what her mother did best, she became a politician. She guided her mother through a crowd of reporters, politely reminding them that there will be a press conference soon and that until then they wanted privacy.

When the time came for the press conference, she wore the clothes that had been picked out for her, and when she saw her mother get choked up at the podium she stepped forward and offered to take over, having sneakily taken photos of the flashcards to learn them in advance just in case.

Just ignore the cameras.

“And finally, we thank the doctors who tried so hard to save my father’s life, and who continue fighting to save lives every day. The Prentiss family will be making a donation to the American Heart Association to support their work in preventing tragedies like this,” she felt like she was going to faint when she reached the end of the speech.

That evening she sat back on her bed, still in the blazer and pencil skirt she had been instructed to wear, though she had let her hair out of the bun that made her look like she was in her thirties instead of a 17-year-old. She knew her friends had been texting her, asking her how she was doing, letting her know they were thinking of her, and that they had been watching the conference. She was too exhausted to reply.

The following day she spent reading in the living room, not so secretly keeping an eye on her mother, who had been staring into a cup of tea that had long since gone cold. She knew she had a few missed calls, but decided her time was better spent making sure that the older of the Prentiss women was eating enough. When she ventured into the kitchen the chef had already prepared a plate of sandwiches for Emily to take to Elizabeth, and a bowl of Emily’s favourite mac-and-cheese.

The funeral was a sea of reporters, business partners and donators to her parent’s political movements. Emily found herself wondering how many of them were there because they cared about Simon and how many were there just to keep up appearances, she was fairly certain that her father had never shown much interest in friendships, especially ones that didn’t benefit his career.

The black dress that she had been presented with was uncomfortable, more childish than the clothes from the press conference in order to really lean into the ‘grieving child’ look, and she was convinced she had been given the least waterproof mascara that the make-up team could get their hands on, wanting to make sure that if she cried it would be obvious and that the press could get plenty of photos of it.

Might as well give them what they want.

She sat through the eulogy (read by Simon’s personal assistant, since Elizabeth was considered too emotional, and Emily still couldn’t be trusted to stick to the script and say nice things), only half listening while she remembered what JJ had said when she heard the news. She imagined her future, one with JJ, where they were happy, with kids of their own. She imagined her father seeing the error of his ways and being proud of his grandchildren, proud of her.

I was right about the mascara she thought when she saw the photos of her and her mother leaving the cemetery hours later, dark lines on her face. At least it’s easy to wash off.

That evening she found herself in her parent’s office, staring at her father’s desk. It was still covered in paperwork, pages unread and notes stopped mid-sentence as if he had just stepped out and would be coming back in a minute. There were some papers scattered on the floor, she could only imagine that he had knocked them off when he collapsed. It was the only reason she could think of for anything being even slightly out of place, and she shuddered at the thought.

“I can’t bring myself to put everything away,” her mother’s voice in the doorway scared her. “He didn’t like when people moved his stuff, he always had everything exactly how he wanted it.”

“I’m not surprised it drove him mad that I turned out the way I did.” After the last few days Emily was getting sick of playing the good daughter.

“He always was a bit of a control freak, even before we had you,” Elizabeth laughed weakly. “Can I confess something?”

“Sure.”

“Recently I’ve been a little jealous of you, Emily.”

Sorry, no, what?

Elizabeth rested a hand on Emily’s shoulder, gently guiding her so they stood face to face.

“I may not understand, or agree with you, but I’m impressed with the way you make your choices and you stick to them. You always stood up for yourself, the way that I should have stood up for you, and since New Years I’ve been jealous of that strength that you have. I’ve been reconsidering a lot of the choices I’ve made, and if I was half as strong as you then maybe I would have done something about it.”

“Mother…” Emily didn’t dare meet the older woman’s eyes, part of her fearing that this was some weird joke or an attempt at reverse psychology.

“I saw the hurt in your expression last time you were here, in this office, and I realised that I never want to see you hurt again. Tomorrow I will be announcing that I will be stepping away from politics, for a while, so that I can re-evaluate my priorities with you as number one. After how we’ve treated you, and how you’ve behaved this week despite it all, I see now more than ever that you deserved better, and I want to be what you deserve.”

I wonder how long she spent practicing that.

Long enough that I know she’s being serious?

“Mother…” Emily said again.

“First things first,” Elizabeth said, opening a drawer in Simon’s desk and taking out the motorcycle keys. “I have no idea why you like riding around on that death trap but it’s yours, and while you can’t take it back to school with you, feel free to use it as much as you want in the summer.”

Emily took the keys uncertainly.

“And after the summer,” Elizabeth continued, “if you want, you may return to BAU.”

“What about me and JJ?” Emily said, hoping this wasn’t pushing it too far.

“Like I said, I have done a lot of thinking since New Years, and while I may not understand, if it is what you want then I will accept that.”

Chapter Text

Emily was still reeling from her conversation with her mother when the car pulled up near the park in the town close to BAU. She had taken her bag to her room and now couldn’t wait to meet her friends by their favourite spot in the park. An advance warning text from Derek let her know that JJ and Garcia had armfuls of comfort food ready if she needed it, and Garcia had sent her options for code words and signals that she could use if she wanted the others to give her some alone time with JJ.

JJ, however, had her own plans. That evening the blonde slipped her hand into Emily’s, whispering follow me in her ear and laughing at the speed at which Emily jumped out of her seat to go with her, shooting a glare at Garcia, who was making kissy faces at them as she set up her laptop for some gaming time with Kevin.

Emily allowed JJ to lead her up the stairs until they reached the top floor, where the seniors lived. She recognised the girl walking towards them, Tara, captain of the soccer team.

“You girls tell anyone I did this and you’re both dead,” she said, passing a keycard labelled “rooftop garden” to JJ. “You’re lucky I convinced everyone that we should have a group study session in our common room, so you should be alone up there. Just make sure you give the key back before curfew or it’s me who gets in trouble.”

“Thank you, Tara,” JJ said, grinning, “I promise I’ll clean your soccer boots for you or something.”

The senior laughed, rolling her eyes, “Just don’t let whatever this is between you knock you off your game and that will be good enough for me.”

JJ led the way onto the rooftop garden. Wooden planters filled with flowers were illuminated by string lights and the setting sun, lining the edge of the roof, preventing students from getting too close. A cluster of tables and benches sat in the middle where students could work. There was a greenhouse on one side, and a large shed labelled “rain-proof reading nook” on the other.

Emily looked around in awe. “This school never ceases to amaze me. You see Strauss, all strict and setting curfews and making us wear uniforms, and it’s hard to believe that she would even consider allowing all of this.”

JJ laughed. “Trust me, she didn’t. Apparently so many of the seniors have been sneaking up here for so long that the other teachers set all this up without her permission. When she tried to get rid of it, they all outvoted her, and students had their parents phone in to tell her just how incredible they thought it was. People think it’s one of the reasons she doesn’t like Hotch, I heard he was the ringleader of this whole mutiny thing.”

“You really love this school, huh?”

“What do you mean?” JJ said. She had sat herself with her legs crossed on top of the table in the middle, her hair glowing almost pink instead of its usual gold with the sun setting behind her.

She looks ethereal. An angel, or a goddess even. I think I’m in love with a celestial being.

Emily pushed away a laugh at the thought. “You look so happy when you talk about this place. I saw it my first day, when you gave me the tour. This place makes you happy.”

“I- yeah, I guess it does. Something about it, it’s just special, you know?”

“It wouldn’t be half as special without you here,” Emily said, stepping closer to JJ, who’s face was turning as red as the poppies growing nearby.

“Can I kiss you now?” JJ murmured.

“Please do,” Emily leaned forward, briefly pressing her lips to JJ’s. Before she could pull back, she felt the other girl’s warm hands on her cheeks, moving down to brush over her jaw and then running through her hair. She smiled, kissing JJ again.

JJ broke the kiss first, leaning back slightly to stare at Emily with starry eyes. Emily was fairly certain she had the same dazed expression on her own face, as well as a goofy smile that was starting to make her cheeks hurt.

“This is so cliché, the nerd and the jock having their first kiss on a rule-breaking trip to the roof at sunset, I mean this could be a teen—”

JJ cut her off with another kiss, murmuring “shut up, nerd” against her lips. Emily giggled.

“This is perfect,” she said, brushing JJ’s hair back from her face. “One more before we have to go back downstairs?”

“All too happy to oblige,” JJ kissed her again, “Maybe just another? For good measure?”

“I think your friend Tara will kill us if we’re late.”

“We can die happy,” JJ punctuated the statement with another kiss, before hesitantly climbing down from the table and taking Emily’s hand, leading the way back downstairs.

They returned the keycard to Tara, who smiled knowingly, and told them they could borrow it again anytime. Most of the other students had gone to bed, and once again Emily and JJ found themselves in an empty common room. Despite not having long before curfew the girls found themselves back in their usual spot, nursing mugs of cocoa topped with whipped cream and marshmallows.

“How are you doing, with everything?” JJ murmured softly, careful not to spill her cocoa as she shifted to face Emily.

“I’ve got you, I’m doing great,” Emily smiled softly.

“And your, uh, family stuff?”

Emily drained the last of her cocoa, wiping the cream off her nose with the back of her hand. “I’ll be fine. We’ll be fine, me and my mom. I don’t know exactly what was going through her head, but it actually seems like there’s hope for us after all. Maybe.”

JJ smiled, finishing the last of her cocoa. She put their mugs in the sink, then held her hand out to Emily.

“Walk me home?”

Emily laughed softly, taking JJ’s hand and walking with her to her bedroom door.

“Call me, we should do this again sometime,” Emily joked.

JJ pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Night, Em.”

“Night, Jayje,” I love you.

Emily stood in the hallway, not taking her eyes off the blonde until the door had closed behind her before returning to her own room.

At first, they had kept their relationship relatively secret, wanting to tell their friends together meant hiding it from Garcia until the boys were around so that she wouldn’t get a chance to let the cat out of the bag. Derek had been happy for them, Spencer had been confused, having thought that they had been together this whole time, and Garcia (after threatening to put them both on an FBI watchlist as punishment for hiding it from her) was beyond excited.

The final few weeks of the school year passed quickly, and Emily was surprised to find that the new development in her relationship with JJ barely changed the dynamic of their friendship group, something she didn’t even realise she had been worried about until after they found it wasn’t a problem. Thanks to Tara’s keycard they spent many hours on the rooftop, the other seniors more than happy to share the space. On the last day JJ joked that the thing she would miss most about the soccer captain would be the access to her favourite date spot, and not the older girl’s razor-sharp sense of humour.

On the evening of the last night Emily found herself sitting on her bed, looking at the now-empty walls. All photos and posters had been taken down, all clothes and books packed away and the room reset to the cold and empty box it had been when she first entered it back in September.

She thought about Derek and Spencer in the boys school, probably arguing over one last game of poker before they returned home, and about JJ and Garcia, who she had left in the common room to their game of monopoly. She felt bad for making JJ worry when she had left almost an hour ago, saying she knew her driver would be arriving early in the morning and she wanted to double check she had everything set to go.

There it is, the familiar ache in my chest. Maybe deciding I wanted to be alone wasn’t the best way to go about avoiding my feelings?

She sniffed, laughing to herself and brushing a tear off her face. She could hear the doors to the other rooms closing, the other students going to their beds for the last time. She wondered which of the students in the grade below would get this room next, and which room she would be in when she returned in three months. She let out a shuddering sigh, picked up her phone and pressed on JJ’s name.

The other girl picked up the phone immediately.

“So,” Emily said, “I’m kind of freaking out about going home tomorrow.”

Her only reply was the beep of JJ hanging up, then, a few seconds later, a knock on the door.

The second she opened the door she was pulled into a tight hug, the smell of JJ’s shampoo immediately comforting her. When she let go, JJ stepped into the room, closing the door behind her.

“What about curfew?” Emily said, sitting back on her bed.

“I scanned my card so they think I’m in my room and put tape on the door so I won’t get locked out. I figured we could have a sleepover for our last night before summer.”

She was already wearing pyjamas, so she waited while Emily got changed, then crawled into the bed, pulling the blanket over both of them and draping her arm around Emily’s waist, their noses almost touching.

“I don’t want this to end,” Emily whispered.

“What to end?”

“This school year, this night, us.”

JJ pressed a kiss to Emily’s forehead. “What makes you think that we’re going to end?”

“A lot can happen in three months. Things keep changing. When I went home for my dad’s funeral it was like I was a whole different person. What if when I go home it changes me again, into someone you don’t like?”

“Em, I am always going to like you,” the blonde said, brushing another small tear from Emily’s cheek. “And if you feel like you are changing into someone you don’t want to be, then you can always come visit me in Pennsylvania. You have your motorcycle back right? It’s only a four or five hour long drive.”

“Did you plan my route in advance?” Emily said with a quiet laugh.

“I may have already been considering coming to rescue you in the family pickup truck.”

“The press would have had a field day.”

JJ grinned. “We could go on a road trip, visit all our friends, or flee to Canada or something.”

“And when your family wants the truck back?”

“We’ll take your bike instead.”

“You’d really want to travel from state to state on the back of my motorcycle?”

JJ moved closer, yawning, her arm once again across Emily’s waist. “Hours on the open road with my arms around my awesome girlfriend? Yeah I actually do really want that.”

Emily smiled, kissing JJ softly.

“Night, Jayje.”

“Night, Em.”

“Jayje,” Emily whispered into the dark.

“Yeah, Em?” JJ whispered back with another yawn.

Just say it Em, no more putting it off.

“I love you.”

No response.

Emily was woken the next morning by JJ’s thumb stroking her cheek.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” the blonde murmured when Emily blinked sleepily.

“What time is it?” Emily mumbled.

JJ held her phone up to Emily’s face, enjoying how she squinted in confusion at the numbers on the screen. Emily sat up suddenly, throwing the blanket off herself and over JJ in panic.

“My driver is supposed to be here, like, now, Jayje, why’d you let me sleep in?”

JJ laughed. “Your driver is already here, I sent him downstairs to get you a croissant and a chocolate coated waffle, and he promised he won’t tell anyone I’m in your room.”

Emily breathed a sigh of relief, then stuck her tongue out at JJ before going into the bathroom to get dressed. While she was in the bathroom she heard a knock at the door, and JJ answering it with a cheerful “she’ll be ready in a minute”.

“Okay where’s my croissant?” she said as she stepped out of the bathroom.

“Is that really the greeting I get from my favourite passenger?” a familiar voice said. She dropped the pyjamas she was holding and looked up in surprise.

“Anderson? I thought you got fired,” she laughed, running to hug the driver.

“Ooh careful, I almost dropped your croissant,” he passed the plate to JJ, then patted Emily’s back. “Your mother asked me to come back. I missed you too, kid.” When she let go he stepped back, picking up the pyjamas she dropped, followed by her suitcase. “I’ll be taking your stuff to the car, why don’t you say bye to your friends and meet me outside.”

Emily stood in Garcia’s room, amazed at how much bigger it looked when it wasn’t full of computers. Garcia hadn’t stopped moving for a second having gotten distracted and not finished packing the night before.

“Call me every chance you get, okay my lovelies?” she said, struggling to zip her bag around a very colourful pile of clothes. “Or come visit in California, I saw JJ looking up routes last night, don’t hit me JJ you know I can’t keep secrets, I saw you planning that road trip.” She stopped for a moment, pulling her friends into a tight hug. “I am going to miss you, but not too much, because you are going to keep in touch whether you want to or not.”

Having said goodbye to Garcia, Emily stepped out into the hall, seeing other students just beginning their own goodbyes. JJ took Emily’s hand, dodging the people rushing around and guiding her to the car, where Anderson was already sitting in the drivers seat. She opened the door with a small curtsy and Emily rolled her eyes.

“I will actually call you as soon as I get home this time,” Emily said.

“You better.”

Emily took hold of JJ’s jacket, pulling her into a kiss that left them both as stunned as their first.

“Em,” JJ murmured.

“Yeah?”

“I love you too.”

Chapter Text

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Where is Emily Prentiss now?

Ten years after the death of Prentiss Politics Patriarch, Simon Prentiss, the political dynasty once considered a force to be reckoned with has almost completely disappeared from the public eye, including the teenager who was at one time the centre of every scandal.

For the last decade Emily Prentiss has skilfully avoided paparazzi and turned down every offer of an interview until now.

“It was actually my wife who encouraged me to do this interview. She said that I can use it to show that even though my family didn’t always accept me for who I was, I found love and support in my friends. And I agree with her, I hope that people who are like I was can read this and see that it gets better.”

When asked more about her wife, Prentiss’ face seemed to light up with joy.

“Jayje is my whole world, I knew the moment I met her that there was never going to be anyone else for me. She’s my light, my sun and I love her more and more every day. These last ten years have gone in the blink of an eye, I sometimes feel like we are still teenagers sneaking up to the roof for dates. It sounds ridiculous really, I’m only 27, but she makes me feel young.”

And of course, earlier in the interview, Prentiss talked about the love and support of her friends. When asked more about them she told us this-

“They held me together that first year at school. I was having a hard time with all my family stuff, and they gave me something to hold onto. And I know they’re reading this, so Garcia, Spencer, Derek, thank you. And I can’t wait to see you on our annual road trip next month.”

Finally, we just had to ask what is coming in the future for the Prentiss family?

“Well, we both have our jobs of course. Who knows, really? We have our whole lives ahead of us to plan.”

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