Chapter Text
I’m really here, alone.
Of course Rean wasn’t actually alone. The lobby of the inn was busy with customers: couples, families, a group of young men from the Republic. Spring was the start of the tourism season and tourists flocked from all over to Elmo Village, including Rean.
Elmo Village reminded him of Ymir, though it was a lot warmer here this time of year, and the many Eastern immigrants gave the place a different atmosphere. The inn had a grand yet cozy feeling: wood built, plastered walls, masonry accenting the entryway. Erebonian architecture was overbearing and uniform and lacking in warmth. It felt good to get away from it all.
Rean tapped his foot and readjusted the fake glasses resting on his nose as he waited in the lobby, luggage in tow. He doubted the people of Liberl would recognize him, but he wanted privacy above all else and wasn’t taking any chances. The trip to Elmo Village was a long and exhausting journey and he regretted that he stubbornly chose to travel by foot instead of waiting for his partner to pick him up by bike from Zeiss’ airport.
In two weeks, the second class of the Thors Branch Campus would be starting and his heart was still aching watching his first class of students graduate only weeks ago. Towa and the other instructors had yet to leave Leeves, finishing off final preparations before the start of the new school year. Rean asked Aurelia for some time off for ‘personal matters,’ the woman gave him a smirk that said she knew too much for her own good.
“Have fun with Armbrust,” she said.
“Wait, who told you?”
He hadn’t told anyone, not even Towa. It wasn’t a secret or anything, but he wanted to keep it private. He just wanted some time off and if he told all his friends about it, no doubt his short trip relaxing in the hotsprings would end up being a class reunion. Or worse, Alisa could find out, and she’d get really pissed off if she knew who he was spending his vacation with, and he did not want to deal with Alisa right now.
“I know everything that goes on at my campus,” Aurelia had retorted. “Though I suppose maybe I should give you some advice?”
“I don’t need advice.”
Aurelia ignored him. “Schwarzer. Remember, if you want something you must take it with force.”
“I still don’t know what you’re talking about. We’re going to visit hot springs, not a battlefield.”
“Hm, naivety can be unattractive in a man, Schwarzer.”
That exchange had left a poor taste in his mouth. The last person he wanted meddling in his affairs was the Principal, but he had to thank her for letting him off a week early, nonetheless.
Grandma Mao, the old innkeeper of the Maple Leaf Inn finally came back to the counter, an apologetic grin on her face. “Sorry dear, it seems we only have one room left, but I’m not sure if you’re interested. It’s a busy season, you see, the reservation must have gotten mixed up.”
“Ah,” Rean said. “What’s wrong with the room that’s left?”
“It has only one bed, and you requested two,” Grandma Mao replied.
Oh.
Well that was awkward.
But Crow would be here in a couple of hours and he didn’t want to change plans last minute. Crow was biking all the way down from the Empire to meet him. He wasn’t planning on camping.
“Is it possible to get an extra cot?” Rean said.
“Of course. I can arrange that, dear.”
“Thanks, that’ll work.” Rean smiled, sighing with relief. The old lady flagged down one of the maids and they went to presumably find a spare cot for the room.
Rean wandered over to the restaurant as he waited. Placing his luggage at his feet, he sat down and ordered some tea fresh from Longlai. It was slightly bitter, but it had a hint of freshness that was rare in the teas from the Empire. He should bring back some for Elise and the others. Musse and Jusis would definitely appreciate it.
It was quiet. The after lunch and before supper crowd consisted of a few elderly folks and friends enjoying afternoon snacks with their gossip. Scatters of conversation whispered in his ears as he was reading the latest copy of the Liberl News.
The chair across the table pulled back suddenly and a figure dropped unceremoniously into it.
“Damn I’m beat,” Crow said as kicked out his long legs, lightly brushing against Rean’s own. “Holy goddess, that trip took way longer than I expected.”
Rean jumped a little, startled, but he quickly smiled at the sight of his friend. “You’re here early, I thought it would take a few more hours.”
“Heh, there’s no speed limits when there’s no one to enforce them.” Crow grinned, rubbing his cheek. “Some bracer tried to chase me down near Bose but I left that sucker in the dust.”
“I guess I expected too much from you, thought you would stop breaking the law for once.” Rean let out an exaggerated sigh at his friend’s antics.
“Pretty poor assumption. Did you forget that time I formed a terrorist group and shot your dad?”
Rean groaned. “You take things way too lightly sometimes. Anyways, I’m glad to see you again. How was your trip? Did you ‘find yourself?’”
Crow had been travelling around the continent the last few months, on and off, inspired by Angie’s travels after graduation. Rean was sad to see him go and honestly a little lonely without him, but he was glad his friend was trying to move on and find new meaning in life.
“I found myself in a couple of chicks, if you know what I mean.” Crow winked at him.
Rean knew he was kidding, but he couldn’t help the familiar tug in his chest. Despite how long they’ve known each other now, they hadn’t really spent much time together alone since their school festival days. It felt a little odd now that it was just the two of them.
Crow stretched his arms behind his head and leaned back in the creaking chair, waving a hand around to gesture at the restaurant. “Sweet place, seems pretty chill. The waitress is pretty hot too.”
“I guess that’s a ‘no’ for finding a job. How long are you planning on leeching off me anyways?” Rean deadpanned. “You’re just adding to your debt, you know.”
Crow frowned for a moment before his face contorted back to its usual easygoing mask. Maybe Rean went a little too far with that comment. He took a sip from his tea, wondered if he should apologize.
“Damn, you’re a ruthless loan shark.” Crow’s eyelids hooded over his crimson eyes. “Soon I’ll have to resort to paying with my body.”
Rean almost spat out his tea. Nope. He felt no guilt at all.
“Who would even want your body?” Rean snapped, wiping his mouth on his sleeve.
“More like who wouldn’t want some of ol’ Crow? I know how hot I am.”
Rean rolled his eyes. Well, he wasn’t wrong.
“Hmm, maybe that was your intention after all, Rean. You that desperate for ‘repayment?’” Crow glanced at him with narrowed eyes. Rean wanted to smack the shit-eating grin off his face. “You did invite me on this little date after all. Don’t you have an entourage of women trying to jump your bones, why’d you invite me anyways?”
Rean shrugged. He tried not to think about Alisa. “Well, even I get tired of it all sometimes.”
Crow raised an eyebrow. Rean sipped at his tea again.
“Everyone kind of wants me to be something. Class VII sees me as a leader, my students see me as their instructor, the women in my life all seem to want more from me than I can give. It’s like everyone wants to put me in a role all the time. Sometimes I just get tired of it all. I just want to be me,” Rean said and blushed a little. He wasn’t used to talking openly like this. “I guess around you, I can just be Rean. Since you’re just Crow.”
“What does that even mean,” Crow said, pouting. “I feel like you’re insulting me but in a polite way.”
Rean let out a chuckle. “Not at all, your best trait is that it’s so easy to be around you.”
Crow was a warm blanket on a cold day. It felt good when he was wrapped up in him. He couldn’t help the stir of possessiveness he felt about the man across the table. They’ve been through Gehenna and back together.
“Geez, thanks I guess,” Crow said.
Rean finished off his tea just as Grandma Mao came to find him, letting him know his room was ready. He got his luggage and followed the short, bobbing woman and Crow followed closely behind with his own luggage.
She led them to the section of the inn that housed the guest rooms, and stopped at the room at the end of the hallway. After she unlocked the door, she swung it open to reveal a room that Rean could only describe as painfully gaudy.
His stomach dropped as he eyed the single large poster bed in the center of the room decorated in red and gold tassels. The sheets were red, the rug was red, he was surprised the windows weren’t red. Red was the color of weddings in the East and the room spared no expense making sure the guests knew that. A single golden chandelier stood proudly at the center.
There was a small cot placed by the window on the side, but it was barely visible from the hallway. He felt Crow’s glare bore into the back of his head.
“Here you go, dears. It’s usually our honeymoon suite so it’s a bit…dramatic, I hope it isn’t too much. Let me know if you need anything else. Please enjoy your stay,” Grandma Mao said before she went back to the lobby.
Rean winced before Crow even opened his big mouth.
“You know I was kidding about selling my body before, but now I’m not sure,” Crow said. “I would’ve brought some sexy underwear if I knew this was what you had in mind when you invited me.”
“They ran out of rooms! I swear I reserved a normal room!” Why was he getting so flustered? Rean rubbed his temples with his gloved fingers. “I’ll take the cot okay? You can have the bed. It’s my fault for not booking sooner anyways. Please don’t be upset.”
Crow clicked his tongue. “Why do you always make it weird.”
Crow was a bit taller, and he used it to his advantage as he leaned over him a little.
Rean stammered, “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make it weird. I just wanted to have a boys trip with just the two of us.”
“If you wanted to have a boys trip, you shouldn’t have invited just me,” Crow snapped. His brows were furrowed and he crossed his arms like a child having a tantrum. Rean frowned. Was Crow actually upset with him? Over a room mishap?
Rean deflated a little, eyes wide. “What does that mean? You don’t want to spend time with me?”
Crow glared at him. “You’re a dumbass, you know that right?”
“Huh?” Rean said. “Crow, what do you mean?”
Crow didn’t reply, instead he shook his head and let out an overly dramatic breath. “I give up.”
Crow pushed Rean out of his way, slinging his luggage over his shoulder as he heaved it into the room to the side of the poster bed. Rean watched as his friend opened his luggage and rummaged for some basic necessities, not saying another word to Rean as he laid out the contents of his suitcase. He was pouting.
Crow seemed irritated about the room situation, but he and the other guys have shared rooms plenty of times in the past. What does it matter if it's the same bed or two? And there was even a spare cot. His friend seemed preoccupied.
Selfishly, Rean just wanted to forget about all the drama with Alisa. There was nothing like a carefree week relaxing in the hot springs, unwinding from all the overtime he’d been putting in, sleeping in and waking up to the sound of chirping birds. He hadn’t thought about how Crow was feeling at all. Maybe there was something else going on that was bothering him. It didn’t help that Crow was also notoriously bad at admitting when something was wrong.
Rean sighed, he didn’t understand why Crow was so difficult.
He watched as Crow sat on the bed, opened the drawers of the night stand and turned to Rean and said, “There’s lube and condoms in here.”
Rean’s whole body flushed. He was going to stammer out a reply, used to Crow loudly making remarks about everything, but his friend went back to quietly shuffling through the room, admiring the red furniture as if it were some artistic masterpiece.
“Crow, are you upset I made you bike all the way here?” Rean said. It was a random guess but he couldn’t stand the tension in the room. The silence was so thick, he could feel its suffocating presence.
Rean glanced at his friend. Crow was wearing a skin tight white shirt and a fitted black leather jacket and black leather pants. Not his usual style but it was riding gear that made the long trip more comfortable.
Crow shrugged, but his shoulders were still strung like a bow underneath the jacket. “Hah. Not really. I’m not upset. Don’t worry your pretty little head about me.”
Rean sighed, slumping forward as his legs hit the bed, the scarlet sheets stark against his dark pants. He hated when Crow was like this. “Did I do something wrong?”
“What’s with those glasses anyways?” Crow said, quickly changing the subject.
“Oh, um.” Rean adjusted his glasses. “A disguise.” He rubbed his nose, sure that Crow would make fun of him again if he knew the full story behind the glasses.
Crow swung his legs onto the bed and patted his head. Rean yelped and almost fell off the bed.
“Looks pretty cute on you,” Crow said.
His face felt hot and his scalp burned where Crow touched him. “Don’t make fun of me,” Rean replied.
“I’m not.”
“Then stop smiling.”
He didn’t.
Rean removed his glasses, tucking them away in the case he kept in his luggage. No one will recognize him here anyways.
Fishing was good this time of year. Rean and Crow had hiked the trails behind Elmo Village to the remote rivers where the salmon migrate downstream to the ocean from the lakes. The trees were vibrant green. Birds were perched in the branches, singing to each other as they exchanged small talk.
Rean had his pant legs rolled up to his knees when his toes squished into the mud beneath the cold water. The riverbank had a few scattered boulders where he left his coat. Cold water flowed past his legs, numbing his skin. Growing up in Ymir left him hardy against the cold, anyone else would find the water temperature unpleasant.
He turned to watch Crow hooking bait to the end of his fishing rod.
“Need help?” Rean said.
“I’ll have you know I grew up by the ocean, if anyone knows fishing it’s me. I don’t need your help, mountain boy.”
Rean rolled his eyes but couldn’t help but notice the small pink tip of tongue poking out the side of Crow’s mouth as he concentrated on his hook. He was sweating a little from the exertion hiking up an incline, grey strands stuck to the sides of his face. Those red eyes were dazzling, like fire, so focused on the little worm on the end of the hook.
Those eyes turned to Rean suddenly, blinking at him blankly. “What?”
“Oh, nothing,” Rean said, finally looking away. He was a man too, but he had to admit that Crow was really attractive. Objectively. Not that he would ever admit it out loud. Not to Crow.
How Crow was perpetually single despite his perverted interests was a mystery Rean had yet to solve. Perhaps he was still saving himself for Vita…? Rean bit his lip. His stomach turned. He never was able to get that story out of him.
A thought struck him.
“Hey Crow, about Vita,” Rean said as he squinted into the glimmer of sun off the water. “You knew I was a potential Awakener from her right? But how much did you really know about everything else?”
Rean could feel Crow’s eyes bore into him, drilling through his skull, contemplating the question.
“She never told me,” Crow said after a moment, “about a lot of things.”
“What do you mean?”
Crow sighed. “She did tell me about Valimar underneath the Old Schoolhouse.”
“But did you know I was a potential Awakener?”
“The plan was to attend Thors partially to keep the Ironbloods off my trail, and partially to guide Valimar’s Awakener in case Emma couldn’t handle it alone. At the start of my mission, I didn‘t know who the Awakener was or when it would happen, only that it would happen soon,” Crow said. “I saw you on the first day of school. We seniors were watching over the new Class VII. Vita came by Trista for her radio show soon after and told me to introduce myself to you, because she had a feeling it would be you.”
“So that’s what happened.” Rean let the information digest. So they only met because of Vita? It wasn’t unusual for seniors and juniors to never crosspaths when they didn’t share a dorm. If Crow wanted, he could have made sure they never met while in school, especially knowing that they were fated to be enemies, but that’s not what he did. “What didn’t she tell you?”
“Ha, a whole awful lot. All I was told was that I had to fight against Valimar, even though she knew all about the Rivalries and Great Twilight, she told me none of it. Even after all we’ve been through together, that woman’s still a mystery to me.”
“Crow…” Rean trailed off, thoughts swirling in his head. “I guess you two have known each other for a long time.” He felt another tug at his heartstrings at his own words.
Crow didn’t seem to hear him.
“It was such a pain doing her bidding. I was busy enough leading the ILF, but I also had to keep watch on the Old Schoolhouse. I cut class so many times just to make sure I didn’t miss something, everyone started calling me a slacker. It was so damn boring staring at a freaking wall all day. It worked out in the end though, I was there when you needed me,” Crow said.
“That time with Elise, you were there because you were watching, weren’t you?” Rean swallowed thickly. How was this the first time he had heard about this?
“You could say that. But enough about the past, we’re here to relax. You ready to lose?” Crow lifted his rod to dangle his bait in Rean’s face. The worm hung pathetically on the end of the hook.
“Haha, you wish,” Rean said.
Crow joined Rean in the stream and as usual it turned into a competition. They let their catches go since the inn had provided meals with their accommodation, but that didn’t stop the two former rivals from spending the better part of the afternoon trying to out fish each other.
By the time the sun was going down and they had to make their way back, Rean had won by 2 rege and Crow huffed the whole way down, muttering loudly that Rean had cheated because the length of the tailfin did not count. Crow was a bit of a sore loser, but Rean found his act kind of cute. He bit back a laugh as Crow rambled on and on about fish tails.
When they got back to the inn, they returned the fishing gear back to Grandma Mao who had generously lent it to them and returned to the honeymoon suite.
“We should wash first before dinner,” Rean said as they entered their room. He quickly grabbed a towel and started to strip off his water soaked pants and loose collared shirt. He did not pack for the outdoors at all and grimaced that we would need to wash the silt out later.
Crow let out a whistle behind him and he turned as his friend eyed him up and down. “Not bad.”
“What?” Rean narrowed his eyes. He moved to cover himself with the towel, suddenly self-conscious. “Now you’re the one making it weird.”
Crow replied by closing his eyes and scratching the tip of his nose. “No wonder you get all the babes. Careful, you might get a lot of stares in the hot springs.”
Rean eyed his friend back, lingering on the way the tight white shirt was stretched over Crow’s shoulder muscles, the way it curved over his biceps, the way it showed just the right amount of his jutting clavicles, and his very solid abs-
“Want me to scrub your back?” Crow winked.
Rean almost choked on air.
“See you there,” Rean sputtered, his tone a bit more curt than intended. Towel tight around his middle, he headed to the baths alone, throat tight as he tried to forget the way that shirt left little to his imagination.
As an avid lover of hot springs, Rean spent a little too long soaking in the mineral waters, letting it unravel his nerves and calm his quaking thoughts. He waited for Crow, blushing as he thought about getting his back scrubbed but he never came and eventually he felt lightheaded and decided to call it a day.
When he came back to the room, Crow was gone. They didn’t cross paths on the way to the baths, so he was a bit confused about his friend’s whereabouts.
Rean prepared his cot, meticulously smoothing out the wrinkles of the bed sheets because he was the type of person who hated wrinkled bed sheets. He busied himself with answering a few orbmails from his friends and family, but an hour passed and it was well past when dinner service started. Rean started pacing the room, even more annoyed that Crow was late. Then again they were at a hot springs resort during tourism season…maybe they passed each other and Crow was actually taking his time enjoying the baths without him.
Rean threw on an oversized sweater and non-descript pants, tucking his hair behind his ear as he looked himself over in the mirror before he went to look for Crow. He checked the baths, then the restaurant but he was nowhere in sight.
Circling the grounds of the inn, he passed by an elderly couple and a loud family of six on the walkway, about to give up when he spotted Crow by a corner, hidden by the greenery.
“Crow-” Rean was about to call out to him when he saw Crow was on his ARCUS. He knew he shouldn’t eavesdrop, but he was a meddling busybody at heart and old habits die hard.
“So you won’t give me an answer?” Crow said into his ARCUS. The volume of the caller was too low for Rean to hear. He would have expected Crow to have sensed him from this distance but he seemed completely enraptured with whoever he was calling.
“This conversation is going nowhere. I meant it when I said you owe me an answer. It’s the least you can do for me, for old times’ sake.” Crow had been pacing around and seemed restless but he made a face filled with sincerity, there was a soft smile attached to his words. Rean frowned and gulped down the throbbing pain in his chest.
Perhaps he should just pretend he didn’t see anything and look for him later?
Crow was one of his closest friends, but he always avoided talking about himself, like what bothered him that morning. It wasn’t hard to believe he had business to take care of that he didn’t want Rean to know about. Everyone has their secrets.
It hurt though, the thought that Crow was hiding something from him, so he continued to eavesdrop, He inched forward, straining to hear the conversation.
“If you ever cared about me, Vita-”
Crow spun on his heel until he faced Rean. Rean stood on the other side of the bushes staring back wide-eyed. Crow’s eyes widened as their eyes met.
Crap.
Yep. He got caught. How embarrassing. Just like last time.
Rean gave Crow a little wave, praying it looked casual enough like he just happened upon him and not like he was caught red-handed listening in for a good few minutes.
He’d been a few arge away, but Rean was sure he heard him right. Vita…? Are they…? He tried to swallow the lump in his throat again. It threatened to suffocate him.
“I gotta go,” Crow said into his ARCUS, “yeah, it’s him. I’ll call later so you better not disappear on me again. I expect an answer next time. I’m serious about this.”
An answer…? Serious about this? Rean’s heart crashed beneath his feet. He rubbed the back of neck trying to calm down his rapid breathing, willing himself out of existence.
Was he so nosy, he actually eavesdropped on Crow’s marriage proposal? That’s the second time he eavesdropped on a marriage proposal!
Then he felt cold, like a bucket of cold water was dropped over his head as realization sank in. Crow never said he was still serious about Vita. Was this what he’d been preoccupied with all day?
Then Rean felt hot, a wave of anger rushing over him. Vita had done a lot for them in the end during the Great Twilight, despite the unforgivable things she’d done to his family; but she was absolutely a bad influence on Crow and there’s no way he will let her in Crow’s life again! How were they still in contact? Emma couldn’t even contact her most of the time. How long had they been talking again?
“Sorry, I got caught up and lost track of time,” Crow said, snapping Rean out of his downward spiral. “Dinner time, yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Rean wondered if he should say something. Anything. Apologize. But he was nauseous, and didn’t know if he could speak properly without coming off like a jealous spouse. But he was worried about his friend.
“You okay, Rean? You’re red,” Crow said. “Stayed in the baths too long?”
Crow had to have noticed him eavesdropping. Caught him red-handed. There was no way Rean could fool Crow Armbrust. But he was avoiding the conversation, just like Rean was. Fine. They didn’t need to talk about what Rean overheard. Nevermind how much it hurt Crow would hide something this big from his best friend.
Were they even best friends? Rean had always thought Crow was the person he knew best. Maybe it was one-sided. He thought they were over this but maybe nothing’s changed. He was always chasing Crow’s shadow and Crow was always two steps ahead.
“I’m a bit light-headed, actually. But I should be fine for dinner. The special is mountain yam and wild boar tonight.” He remembered the restaurant menu when he was looking for Crow earlier. His tongue felt heavy in his mouth.
“Sounds good,” Crow nudged him in the ribs lightly with an elbow, quickly steering him towards the restaurant with a hand on his back.
And like that the conversation was over.
They walked back to the restaurant where the pretty waitress sat them down by the entrance and they mumbled small talk as they ordered the set menu dinner.
Rean didn’t have the heart to bring it up again. All he knew was that he was in pain all over, like he was losing Crow again, and he just wanted the pain to stop.