Chapter Text
Cloud Recesses,
Gusu.
The New Year had arrived.
The cultivators who had been away gradually returned to the Sect, and before long, every room and courtyard throughout the Cloud Recesses was bustling with life once again. Snow had fallen for an entire day, transforming the Cloud Recesses into a silver-clad wonderland. Layer upon layer of snow blanketed the mountains and forests, covering the tiled roofs, stone paths, and bamboo groves alike. Even the growing bustle seemed muted by the white expanse.
In one corner of the mountain stood a cluster of buildings of varying sizes. Compared to the courtyards commonly seen throughout the Lan Sect, these structures were simpler and less magnificent. In front of one of the entrances, two people were seen kneeling before a closed door.
"Lan Zhan? Lan Zhan? Can you hear me?" Wei Wuxian pressed his ear against the wooden door.
Some time passed, yet no reply came from within. He turned his head and shook it wryly at the person beside him. Lan Xichen could only let out a sigh.
"Wangji... " he said, "I know you may be disappointed in me, but surely you cannot... toward Wei-Gongzi..."
No answer came from within.
The door remained shut.
Wei Wuxian smiled bitterly and raised a hand, resting his palm against the wooden surface.
"Lan Zhan... Er-Gege, please open the door and let me see your face, alright?"
At that moment, an icicle hanging from the beam above them melted slightly, and a droplet of clear water fell. Wei Wuxian had been tilting his head upward all this time, staring at the door and waiting for the person inside to come out. The droplet landed upon his eyelashes. When he blinked, it slid down along his cheek, as though he himself were shedding tears.
He continued pleading.
"Lan Zhan, do you hear me? It is my fault... so please don't lock yourself inside. Let me in, will you?"
"It is not yours alone. I am also at fault."
Lan Xichen sighed heavily.
"Wangji, as your elder brother, I am ashamed of myself. However...if you are willing to give me another chance, I will surely..."
His voice faltered at the end, unable to continue.
The door before them remained closed. Both of them knew that the person inside had heard everything they said. After all, what separated them was merely a door no more than a few fingers thick.
It was not an enchanted entrance like the Mingshi, nor the sturdy doors of the Lanshi. With a forceful push, Lan Xichen could certainly open it, or even destroy these few wooden planks altogether. However, the barrier separating those outside from the one within was more than just a door.
Shame.
Guilt.
These feelings shackled them in place, leaving neither of them daring to advance.
Wei Wuxian closed his eyes and sighed softly. He knew that no matter what they said, Lan Wangji was determined to remain behind that closed door. The next moment, he opened his eyes once more. Something seemed to settle within them.
"Lan Zhan, I know you dislike hearing me say this, but that is exactly why I am going to say it now. It is my fault. I am sor—"
BANG!
The wooden door before them abruptly slid open.
Lan Wangji stood upon the threshold. Against the blinding white of the winter afternoon, his glass-like eyes seemed almost translucent. He said only two words,
"Come in."
"Lan Zhan!!"
In the next instant, Wei Wuxian sprang to his feet and threw himself through the doorway, diving straight into Lan Wangji's arms.
Lan Wangji stepped back and caught him securely. "Be careful."
He then glanced at Lan Xichen.
At the side, Lan Xichen was gracefully patting the snow from his sleeves. Seeing Lan Wangji look over, he smiled. "Wangji, may I?"
Lan Wangji gave him a look that communicated several things, none of them an enthusiastic 'yes', before eventually retreating another step and allowing him to enter as well.
After both of them had gone inside, the door slid shut once more.
"Lan Zhan, you're not angry anymore?"
Wei Wuxian cupped Lan Wangji's face and scrutinized him closely.
Lan Wangji gently grasped his hands and lowered them.
"I am not angry."
"Really? Then why did you lock Zewu-Jun and me outside?"
Lan Wangji did not answer. He merely looked at him before turning his gaze toward Lan Xichen, as though asking, 'Must I explain?'
Lan Xichen understood and generously admitted, "It is my fault."
"Indeed." Lan Wangji nodded.
Lan Xichen attempted to justify himself. "Actually, I—"
"Xiongzhang," Lan Wangji interrupted. "You chopped down an entire hillside of trees. Wasted good timber. Then put the fire so high it boiled away an entire pot of soup."
Lan Xichen, "..."
There was truly nothing he could say in his own defense.
Today was New Year's Eve.
The night before, Wei Wuxian had been chatting with Lan Xichen, telling him about the New Year's banquets held at Lotus Pier.
As he spoke, he gestured animatedly.
He described the enormous pot filled to the brim with lotus root and pork rib soup whenever Lotus Pier held a sect banquet. The aroma drifted for miles. All the nearby children would be lured over, clinging to the outer walls of Lotus Pier and peeking inside, their saliva nearly dripping to the ground. After returning home, they would cry and beg their parents to let them become disciples of the Yunmeng Jiang Sect.
This was the first New Year Wei Wuxian would spend in the Cloud Recesses after marrying Lan Xichen. Naturally, he could not return to Lotus Pier. Therefore, he asked Lan Xichen how the New Year's banquet would be held the day after tomorrow.
"There are not many customs to follow," Lan Xichen explained. "We merely have a clan dinner. Afterward, the Sect Leader speaks about the plans from the previous year and those for the coming year."
"That's it?" Wei Wuxian asked. "What about the dinner?"
"Nothing particularly special. We drink medicinal soup before eating the main course."
Wei Wuxian fell silent.
After a long while, he finally gathered the courage to confirm his worst suspicion. "By medicinal soup, do you mean that soup filled with green and yellow leaves, roots, and bark that you usually drink before meals?"
"Correct." Lan Xichen nodded.
"At least there'll be dumplings, right?"
"There aren't."
Wei Wuxian, "..."
That night, Lan Xichen witnessed firsthand how a usually high-spirited Wei Wuxian could become utterly lifeless. Even when it was time to sleep, he seemed too dispirited to properly lie down. When Lan Xichen called to him worriedly, he received only a muffled hum in reply.
The young man was mourning his fate.
At Lotus Pier, Jiang Cheng was undoubtedly eating a large bowl of lotus root and pork rib soup made by Jiang Yanli. Meanwhile, he was in the Cloud Recesses, destined to choke down bitter bark and roots. The more he thought about it, the more despairing he became.
However, the next morning, when Wei Wuxian woke at Chenshi, Lan Xichen said to him, "I spoke with Wangji just now."
"About what?"
Lan Xichen smiled.
"Wei-Gongzi, you said that you usually have a large pot of soup and dumplings. While there are indeed no such customs here, how about we make them ourselves?"
Wei Wuxian immediately looked up. "Make them ourselves?"
"Yes." Lan Xichen explained, "I have already informed the kitchen to prepare the ingredients. What do you think?"
No reply came.
Instead, he was met with a tight embrace and a loud smooch planted squarely upon his face.
That being said, people often had good intentions, but not necessarily the ability to carry them out.
Lan Xichen had promised that the three of them would cook together.
They began by setting a large pot of soup to boil outside. The earthen stove required firewood. Since Lan Xichen often concocted medicinal elixirs, he volunteered to tend the fire.
Later, however, he felt that the flames were not scorching enough and decided to add more wood. There happened to be several dry pine branches on the mountainside nearby, so he went to chop some down. Not long afterward, Wei Wuxian caught sight of him.
"Good swordsmanship!" he praised. "Zewu-Jun, who would've thought you could look so elegant even while chopping trees?"
Sect Leader Lan was immediately encouraged.
"Really?" he asked. "Then I shall show Wei-Gongzi a little more."
He proceeded to display a variety of sword techniques while chopping trees.
Wei Wuxian watched enthusiastically from the side, clapping as he cheered him on.
"Zewu-Jun, I didn't know you had so many tricks. How about showing me the rest?"
Lan Xichen naturally agreed.
One demonstrated. One applauded. Both became increasingly engrossed. By the time they finally came back to their senses, the sheds were already filled to the brim with chopped wood. Had the cooks been present, they would surely have thanked Sect Leader Lan for supplying enough firewood for the next half year.
Only then did the two of them remember the soup.
They hurried back to the earthen stove. What greeted them was a pot of unrecognizable gruel. The water had long since evaporated, leaving only a mushy mass of ingredients stuck to the bottom.
Lan Wangji, who had spent the entire morning preparing that large pot of soup, stood before the cracked pot and stared at it in silence.
After a long while, he turned around. He walked into the kitchen. Then he shut the door. And locked the two troublemakers outside.
Now that Lan Wangji had finally allowed them back inside, he gave a solemn warning.
"Do not touch anything I did not tell you to touch."
Wei Wuxian immediately nodded so vigorously, looking like a chicken pecking at rice. "I know! I know! I'll listen to you!"
Beside him, Lan Xichen also nodded. "...I will try my best."
Lan Wangji gave his brother a look that suggested some long-standing, unresolved grievance, then took Wei Wuxian by the hand and led him to one corner of the kitchen.
When speaking to Wei Wuxian, his tone softened considerably. "Wei Ying. You may help cut the ingredients."
“What about me?” Lan Xichen asked.
Lan Wangji continued looking at Wei Wuxian. "I will roll the dumpling wrappers later. You may also help shape them."
Wei Wuxian immediately brightened. "Lan Zhan, don't worry. I'll definitely make the best-looking dumplings!"
Lan Wangji hesitated, “...Do not force yourself. Simple is fine.”
“Huh? What about me?” Lan Xichen asked again.
Lan Wangji dragged over a small stool and gestured toward it. "I will prepare the ingredients first." He looked at Wei Wuxian. "You may sit here and wait."
Wei Wuxian shook his head, "It's fine. Take your time. What filling are you making?"
Lan Wangji’s eyes curved slightly. "What would you like?"
“Meat and cabbage!” Wei Wuxian answered immediately.
Lan Wangji nodded. “I will make some for you.”
"Wangji?" Lan Xichen called. "What about me?"
Only after Lan Xichen grabbed his sleeve and pointed at himself did Hanguang-Jun finally spare him a glance.
When facing his elder brother, it seemed as though he had many things he wished to say.
Yet after a moment, all of them condensed into a sigh. “Xiongzhang…possesses great strength. You may knead the dough.”
Lan Xichen quickly agreed. “Very well. I shall do my—,”
"No need to do your best." Lan Wangji cut him off immediately. "Simply do as I instruct. Here is the water. Here is the flour. Use only these."
As if afraid Lan Xichen might misunderstand, he enunciated every word clearly.
“I understand.”
Lan Wangji stared at him. “Do not add anything.”
Lan Xichen, “I know.”
Lan Wangji repeated, “Do not subtract anything.”
Lan Xichen paused, “...I will definitely remember.”
Soon, the three gathered around the kitchen table.
Lan Xichen kneaded dough. Wei Wuxian cut chives, onions, and cabbage for the filling. Meanwhile, Lan Wangji handled nearly everything else. He measured seasonings. Prepared ingredients. Rolled dumpling wrappers.
At the same time, he kept one eye on Wei Wuxian to prevent him from dumping excessive amounts of spice into the filling, and another eye on Lan Xichen to ensure he did not arbitrarily add or reduce flour and water.
Whenever Wei Wuxian attempted to pour in a generous amount of chili, Lan Wangji would immediately seize his wrist.
Then he would place a small bowl beside him and patiently explain,
"You may season your own portion however you like here."
Likewise, whenever Lan Xichen appeared to conclude that the dough was too dry and needed more water, Lan Wangji would immediately slap his hand.
"Turn it over and continue kneading. The moisture will distribute evenly." His tone was stern.
Lan Xichen increasingly felt that there was some form of favoritism taking place in this kitchen.
Unfortunately, he possessed no evidence.
Nevertheless, after overcoming numerous obstacles and enduring all manner of hardships, Hanguang-Jun finally managed to single-handedly carry his two comrades across the finish line.
Several batches of dumplings were successfully completed, ready to be served during the family dinner that evening.
Wei Wuxian, in particular, had a great deal of fun shaping them.
"This is me, this is Lan Zhan, and this is Zewu-jun," he announced, proudly lining up three small rabbit-shaped dumplings. "Oh — and one for Uncle, too."
Lan Wangji looked at the additional rabbit-shaped dumpling.
Unlike the others, however, this one possessed a strangely elongated head.
"Why does it look different?" he asked.
Wei Wuxian immediately burst into laughter. "Because it has a beard! Hahahahaha!"
Lan Wangji fell silent. Lan Xichen also fell silent. In the end, neither brother said anything.
The Cloud Recesses' sect banquet was neither lively nor lavish.
The Gusu Lan Sect's rules had always been terrifyingly strict. No speaking while eating. No speaking while sleeping. Even before the meal began, the hall was nearly silent. Everyone wore identical white robes, the same forehead ribbons adorned with cloud patterns, and identical solemn, faintly numb expressions, as though carved from the same mold.
Wei Wuxian sat near the head of the banquet. Lan Wangji sat beside him. He turned his head to the entrance, and at this time, as if by coincidence, Lan Xichen finally entered the banquet hall.
His appearance was as radiant and pleasant as ever. A gentle smile lingered upon his lips like a spring breeze. When their gazes met, that smile softened further. Even his eyes seemed to smile.
Wei Wuxian immediately felt the urge to call out, "My beloved Zewu-Jun!" —and watch Lan Xichen's smile become just a little bashful.
Unfortunately, that impulse was extinguished by a series of coughs. Following behind Lan Xichen was Lan Qiren. The old man appeared somewhat suffocated.
Perhaps he still could not face the reality that the cabbage he had painstakingly raised had become thoroughly entangled with the wild pig from outside.
After everyone had taken their seats, Lan Xichen spoke a few simple words of courtesy, and the banquet officially began.
The food of the Cloud Recesses was filled with watery broth and vegetables as the main dish. It was green and only green across the table, full of medicinal herbs ranging from root to bark. Every single dish emitted a pungent bitterness, and amid that bitterness was an odd tinge of sweetness.
However, among the sea of green sat something unexpectedly eye-catching.
A small plate of plump dumplings.
Lan Qiren was surprised. "What is this?"
"New Year's dumplings." Lan Xichen replied with a smile. "Wangji, Wei-Gongzi, and I specially made them for our family this year."
Hearing that his nephews had personally prepared them, Lan Qiren could not help feeling a warmth rise in his chest.
He lowered his gaze. The dumplings were shaped like rabbits. Though the rabbit on his own plate appeared somewhat unusual. After examining it more closely, he discovered that the rabbit possessed a beard attached beneath its chin.
Lan Qiren's eyelid twitched, just slightly. He picked it up with his chopsticks anyway. Just as he was about to take a bite—
Something fell off.
He looked down.
The beard had come clean off the rabbit's chin.
Lan Qiren's shoulders trembled, and his real beard was quivering as well. He immediately turned his head toward Lan Xichen at the head table, but Lan Xichen smiled at him and asked, "Uncle? Is something the matter?"
He turned his head at Lan Wangji but saw his ever-composed face.
Even Wei Wuxian, sitting beside him, appeared so serious, facing the black porcelain bowl filled with medicinal soup like a formidable night-hunting case.
Lan Qiren's gaze drilled into him, as if he wished he could reduce Wei Wuxian to dust with his stare. Wei Wuxian felt a cold trickle of sweat down his spine. Still, he refused to acknowledge anything!
To be fair — while the bearded rabbit had indeed been his creation, he had not intended for the beard to fall off so easily. If anything, this must be fate playing at hand. Lan Qiren's beard had clearly been destined to be shaved one way or another!
Seeing that the most likely culprit appeared entirely innocent and was obediently drinking medicinal soup, Lan Qiren finally shifted his gaze elsewhere.
The surrounding Lan cultivators all maintained solemn expressions.
Every one of them seemed deeply focused on the dumplings on their own plates.
All of them acted as if they saw no evil, heard no evil.
Lan Qiren let out a heavy huff. Looking at the rabbit dumpling that had lost its beard, he very nearly flung it away. Unfortunately, wasting food was forbidden in the Cloud Recesses. Besides, this was a dumpling personally made by his two most outstanding nephews. Even Lan Qiren found himself reluctant to throw it out.
In the end, he took a deep breath and ate it anyway.
The sect banquet lasted roughly one shichen.
After the meal concluded, Lan Xichen began recounting the sect's accomplishments from the previous year before outlining plans for the coming one.
Wei Wuxian listened to his pleasant voice and watched his beautiful face without restraint. Whenever Lan Xichen's gaze swept across the gathered sect members, it always lingered upon him for a brief moment longer than everyone else. And his smile would become just a little wider.
Suddenly, even the bitter food and tedious banquet did not seem quite so unbearable.
Before he realized it, the banquet had already ended.
Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji were summoned away by Lan Qiren.
Most likely, they were about to endure another several hours of lecturing.
Wei Wuxian was just beginning to pity their misfortune when Lan Qiren suddenly turned around.
"Wei Ying." His voice was stern. "Where do you think you are going? Come as well."
Wei Wuxian was stunned. "???"
He immediately turned toward Lan Xichen.
Lan Xichen smiled and took his hand. "It is time for the elder to offer a few words to the younger generation."
Wei Wuxian opened his mouth, wanting to say something, but then he widened his eyes as the realization dawned. "Oh...Now I'm his nephew too, aren't I?"
Lan Xichen's eyes bent in a smile. "Yes. You are."
"He won't be scolding only me, right?" Wei Wuxian whispered urgently. "Zewu-Jun, remember to cover for me if he starts lecturing later."
"Uncle will not." Lan Xichen laughed and squeezed his hand. His voice was warm and soft, but it carried a firm reassurance, "Wei-Gongzi, with me here, you need not worry about anything."
Wei Wuxian stared at his profile for a moment, then grinned and squeezed back. "Huan-Ge, mark your words!"
As it turned out, Lan Qiren truly had not called them there solely to scold Wei Wuxian.
Though when he first saw him—
"Sit properly!" the old man was fuming, "What are you hiding behind Xichen for?!"
Wei Wuxian, who had been busy tugging at Lan Xichen's sleeves and forehead ribbon, immediately straightened up and moved forward obediently. His expression resembled that of a man calmly preparing to face life and death. Of course, this was Lan Xichen's and Lan Wangji's uncle. Naturally, he had to give him a lot of face.
Lan Qiren snorted and began his lecture.
Toward Lan Xichen, he reminded him of how he should remember how to be humble, not being blinded by power, not taking advantage of his authority, and to use his influence properly in a righteous way.
Afterward, he added with particular emphasis,
"Remember to restrain yourself. Do not indulge in desire. Do not be swayed by worldly temptations."
As he spoke those words, he appeared to be exerting considerable effort not to turn and glare directly at Wei Wuxian.
'It isn't like I'm the so-called worldly temptation, who makes Zewu-Jun unrestrained, and causes him to indulge in desire.'
Wei Wuxian shook his head inwardly, thinking that Lan Qiren had misunderstood him greatly.
When it came to Wei Wuxian's turn, Lan Qiren's expression became somewhat complicated.
Still, he spoke, "Now that your reputation stands at its height, do not become complacent. One must earn and deserve their reputation. Be mindful of every word and every action. Conduct yourself in a manner worthy of your prestige."
Wei Wuxian respectfully replied, "Wei Ying will remember."
"Do not be arrogant."
"Wei Ying understands."
"Do not flaunt your power and use your abilities appropriately."
"Wei Ying listens to Uncle."
"Do not — ,"
There were so many "do nots" that Wei Wuxian nearly lost track of them all.
Nevertheless, he answered each one with utmost seriousness.
Lan Qiren, who had spent the entire year watching the hurricane surnamed Wei turn the Cloud Recesses upside down, finally saw this obedient appearance. At last, he felt somewhat satisfied. Only then did the lecture conclude.
Finally, it was Lan Wangji's turn.
Compared to the others, however, Lan Qiren had remarkably little to say. Nothing more than praise for his steadfast temperament. And a reminder to continue remaining as steady as a mountain.
Wei Wuxian immediately began protesting in his heart.
'Playing favorites! This is obviously playing favorites!'
Wei Wuxian suspected some discrimination was taking place in this courtyard, but he had no evidence.
Perhaps being the favorite was not entirely a good thing.
After Lan Qiren finished his New Year's lecture, Wei Wuxian and Lan Xichen were promptly dismissed. Lan Wangji, however, was kept behind. Their Uncle, having concluded that his most reliable nephew was the only one in this world who never disappointed him, intended to spend the rest of New Year's drinking tea with him.
"Zewu-Jun, where are we going?" Wei Wuxian looked around in surprise.
This was clearly not the path back to the Hanshi.
"Hm?"
After leaving the Songshi, the two walked side by side, scarcely a few inches apart. The bluestone path stretched quietly before them. Aside from the stone lanterns standing at regular intervals along the way, there wasn't another source of light to be seen. Snowflakes drifted down, scattering among the forests like pale petals. They fluttered past the lantern flames and brushed against the long shadows cast upon the path, falling soundlessly.
Lan Xichen turned slightly and brushed a frosty petal from Wei Wuxian's temple.
Wei Wuxian tilted his head and grinned at him. "It's almost Haishi. Your uncle just finished lecturing you, and now you're already planning mischief?"
Lan Xichen chuckled softly. "I wish to introduce you to someone."
The two eventually stopped before a small residence hidden deep within the Cloud Recesses. No light shone from within. It was clearly unoccupied. However, a small plate of dumplings had been placed before the door.
Lan Xichen gazed at the residence and said,
"This was where my mother lived."
He bent down, and his fingers lightly brushed the frozen ground. "In summer, many gentians bloom here. My mother liked its flowers, so my father planted them where she could see them bloom from inside."
Wei Wuxian felt that Lan Xichen's words were strange.
He had heard the official story before — that Madam Lan had been frail, rarely receiving guests, and that Qingheng-Jun had withdrawn from Sect affairs in his later years. Looking at this small, isolated house, so far from the Hanshi where the Sect Leader and his spouse should have lived — he understood that perhaps the stories outsiders knew were not entirely true.
After a moment, he asked,
"Should we greet Mother, then?"
Lan Xichen looked up, and found Wei Wuxian smiling, already gesturing toward the porch.
The two sat side by side under the eaves.
Their shoulders touched, facing the bare little garden, with only scattered patches of snow remaining.
"You have likely already realized it." Lan Xichen spoke, "This house, instead of a place of living...was more like a place of detention."
Although he already guessed the reason behind might not be pleasant, Wei Wuxian was quite shocked. He'd never imagined that the reason why Lan Xichen's parents lived separately back then was not due to incompatibility like that of Jiang Fengmian and Madam Yu, but instead something more astonishing — detention.
Seeing that Wei Wuxian remained silent, neither questioning nor urging him onward, Lan Xichen finally turned to look at him. "Are you not going to ask?"
Wei Wuxian shook his head. "Zewu-Jun, if you wish to tell me, then I'll listen properly. If you don't want to talk about it, I won't force you either."
Lan Xichen looked at him for a long moment. Then he laughed quietly. Reaching over, he took Wei Wuxian's hand into his own. One finger at a time, he gently pried them apart and stroked them to the center of his palm.
"My father met my mother outside Gusu. I heard it was love at first sight." His voice unconsciously became gentle at the end, as he uttered those wistful words.
His smile still latched on his lips when he turned and met Wei Wuxian's eyes. "But she didn't return his feelings the way he hoped. And later... she killed one of his Masters."
Wei Wuxian blurted out, "Why?!"
"I do not know. I was never told. Though I assume — it was due to some grievance."
Lan Xichen's smile had faded, but his voice remained gentle. "Afterward, my father brought her back to the Cloud Recesses. He performed the Three Bows with her and declared that since she had become his wife, anyone wishing to harm her would first have to pass through him."
Wei Wuxian, having lived in GusuLan Sect for nearly a year now, understood the rest without Lan Xichen explaining further.
Qingheng-Jun, most likely, could not bear to let the woman he loved die. But he also could not pretend nothing had happened — not after his own Master had been killed. Regardless of whether his Master was innocent or truly responsible, his grace of teaching couldn't simply be brushed aside.
Justice could distinguish right from wrong.
Human hearts were rarely so simple.
Qingheng-Jun and Madam Lan had vanished from public view. This place — and whatever similar arrangement Qingheng-Jun himself had lived under — had been a kind of penance. For both of them.
Wei Wuxian shifted his gaze toward the plate of dumplings. The cold had frozen them stiff. There were two. He picked them up and handed one to Lan Xichen.
"Mother has received our good intentions," He smiled. "And it's forbidden to waste food. Let's finish them, shall we?"
Before Lan Xichen could stop him, Wei Wuxian took a large bite, nearly yelped when the chilled filling hit his teeth, but he swallowed it anyway.
Witnessing his impulsive action, Lan Xichen huffed a laugh, but in the end, he followed suit.
"Wei-Gongzi," He called after swallowing the last bit of the dumpling.
"Hm?"
Lan Xichen took out a handkerchief, wiping Wei Wuxian's fingers clean before his own. "If I had told you this story a year ago, I would have asked what you thought — whether you believed what they did was right or wrong."
Wei Wuxian looked down at his now-clean hand. "And now?"
Lan Xichen folded the handkerchief away.
"I used to wonder, for years, whether my father was right or wrong. My mother, in my memories, always smiled so gently, I could not understand why she did such a thing back then...and in truth, I did not want to know it either..."
The two found themselves looking at each other once again.
After a moment, Wei Wuxian smiled. "If I were to guess, Zewu-Jun, it's not that you no longer wish to know. It's that, to you, now—it doesn't matter anymore."
Lan Xichen froze.
Currently, Wei Wuxian's hair fell loosely over his shoulders. Some strands pooled in his lap. Others spilled across his back, framing his figure. As he smiled at Lan Xichen, he looked exceptionally bright and charming even within the darkness of night, looking exactly like the reputation that followed him — fēnɡ shén jùn lǎng — someone who's handsome in appearance, cheerful and energetic in spirit, calm and refined in demeanor, broad-minded, tolerant, and kind in temperament.
Lan Xichen suddenly reached out, clasping their hands together and bringing them to his lips, landing a light kiss on his knuckles.
"You guessed correctly," Lan Xichen said afterward. "I spent years afraid of repeating my father's mistakes. But now... I think it no longer matters. Right or wrong, only they could answer for what they chose. Rather than judging them, I should simply do better."
His gaze remained fixed on Wei Wuxian. "What my father failed to accomplish, I will achieve. What my mother never received... I will provide it."
Wei Wuxian's heart suddenly fluttered. In his life, he had faced countless ups and downs, both sorrow and joy, yet none of them made his heart tremble as fiercely as this moment when Lan Xichen smiled at him and continued, as if he were confessing an oath,
"My father failed his Sect and the person he loved. So today, I hope to be worthy — to my Sect, and to the person in my heart. My mother never received the life she deserved as Sect Leader Lan's spouse—,"
His fingers tightened around Wei Wuxian's hand. "— To you, I will give everything you deserve."
In all his years, Wei Wuxian had also flirted and teased countless Bees and Butterflies, had heard and given — his fair share of sweet words.
Yet none of them had ever left him speechless, lost for words.
Lan Xichen's eyes were so clear, his gaze rippled gently, like the reflection of moonlight upon a quiet spring. "I have said it before, but I will make it clear today. Wei-Gongzi — my heart delights you."
When he said those words, his voice was especially tender.
Looking at the person he cherished in his heart up close, Lan Xichen sighed, thinking about how he had come to adore this person very much.
The course of his destiny had begun to diverge from that night at Jinlintai.
From that moment onward, Lan Xichen was no longer the same. No matter how much he wished to believe that he remained the same person he had been in his youth, the truth was that everything had already changed. His life had been forced onto a different path. His temperament had been tempered within the span of mere months. Even the harmony and companionship he had once shared with his sworn brothers had gradually disappeared, replaced by the bitterness of reality.
While he might reminisce about the lost innocence of those years, he regretted none of it.
If there was anything he lamented, it was only that his fate with Wei Wuxian had become entangled a step too late.
So Lan Xichen admitted once again,
"I know I cannot compare to Wangji's years of yearning. But, please do not dislike it. Wei-Gongzi, this is everything I have, and I will give it all to you. I only hope that you will cherish it..."
Wei Wuxian suddenly remembered many things.
He remembered how, when Lan Xichen had confined him for a day to prevent him from fleeing their arranged marriage, he had apologized afterward and promised never to do such a thing again.
And later, after their wedding, Lan Xichen had once more apologized for having treated him roughly on their wedding night and promised it would never happen again.
Each time, Lan Xichen kept his word. He had never confined him again. When they made love, he was always so gentle and caring.
Likewise, when Lan Xichen conveyed that he would give him all of his heart,
all that he possessed,
all that he was—
Wei Wuxian knew that Lan Xichen would certainly keep his words.
There was a downpour in Gusu that morning.
Winter was nearing its end, and spring was quietly approaching. The accumulated snow had begun to melt, and in its place came heavy rain. The sound of water striking pine branches and bamboo leaves nearly drowned out almost every noise, yet the clear sound of a Bell signaling Maoshi was still heard throughout every corner of the Cloud Recesses.
When Lan Xichen woke up, Wei Wuxian was still nestled in his arms, seemingly lost in a dream with an unfinished story. His side-parted hair had fallen over his eyes, concealing most of his expression. Only the corners of his lips remained visible, slightly curved upward. Whatever dream he was having, it seemed to be a pleasant one.
Lan Xichen suddenly wished to kiss him.
And in the next moment, he did that exactly.
Wei Wuxian's eyelashes trembled lightly. Without opening his eyes, he instinctively moved closer, groping his way into Lan Xichen's embrace. His words came out muddled and incoherent from sleep.
Lan Xichen lowered his head and smiled.
"Wei-Gongzi," he whispered, "is the dream more beautiful, or am I?"
It was obvious that Wei Wuxian had not yet fully awakened. He smiled sleepily. Then, he grabbed Lan Xichen's face and planted kisses all over it. "It's you! Good Gege, Huan-Ge, you look good, I like you very much!"
He patted Lan Xichen's cheek a few times, as if to confirm this, and promptly fell back asleep.
In the end, it was Lan Xichen who was left with his heart thrown in turmoil first in the morning, while the culprit had gone back to roam into who knew what dream world he'd encounter next.
Lan Xichen stared at him for a long moment. Eventually, he sighed helplessly. Then he tucked the quilt more securely around Wei Wuxian and rose to begin his morning routine.
By Chenshi, the rain had eased considerably.
Just like the automatic biological clock of GusuLan worked out at Maoshi, Wei Wuxian had also automatically opened his eyes at Chenshi. He glanced across the room and found no sight of Lan Xichen. After washing and changing clothes, he noticed the rear door of the Hanshi had been wide open.
Stepping outside, he immediately found the person he was looking for. Lan Xichen was currently squatting seriously, fiddling with some plants in their little garden. He still hadn't worn his forehead ribbon and headpiece, only casually draping his outer robe as a cloak.
At some point, Lan Xichen seemed to notice that the sound of rain above him had changed. And when he looked up, he found Wei Wuxian standing behind him, a paper umbrella in his hand, and a grin on his lips. "Zewu-Jun! How careless are you, soaking yourself out here!"
"You are awake." Lan Xichen's eyes bent in a smile. "I cannot hold the umbrella when both of my hands are occupied." He showed Wei Wuxian his palms, with some mud clinging to his fingers.
Wei Wuxian leaned down, peering at the plant before Lan Xichen, and asked curiously, “What happened to it? Why are you tending to it so early in the rain?”
“There was a downpour earlier.” Lan Xichen gently straightened the support beside the stem. “The rain was too heavy, and it nearly snapped. I should have covered it beforehand.”
Spring had yet to arrive.
Most plants in the garden remained dormant. Branches stood bare, and many smaller herbs were still hibernating beneath the soil. Wei Wuxian knew that the plants around the Hanshi were cultivated according to the seasons. Those planted during the colder months generally require less care during winter.
Seeing Lan Xichen paying such close attention to a single sapling, he found it somewhat strange.
“What kind of plant is it?” he asked. “Shouldn't there be no need to care for it so attentively?”
Lan Xichen laughed helplessly. "Wei-Gongzi, weren't you the one who planted this one before?"
"It was me?" Wei Wuxian pointed at himself in disbelief.
His brows knitted together as he searched through his memories, trying to recall when exactly he had become a gardener of the Hanshi.
“You planted it last spring,” Lan Xichen reminded him. “You said you liked it very much and specifically warned me not to uproot it.”
"...Ah."
That one, huh...
The moment Lan Xichen mentioned it, Wei Wuxian remembered.
It was, apparently, a sapling Wei Wuxian had deliberately planted right in the middle of Lan Xichen's meticulously arranged flower beds.
The flowers and medicinal herbs around the Hanshi had all been organized in a particular order. According to season, color, type, usage, etc. The arrangement was both pleasing to the eye and convenient to manage. The addition of this sapling, shoved directly into the middle of the entire layout, completely ruined the order and stuck out like a sore thumb.
It was a random plant he had uprooted from the roadside, brought from Yunmeng during those 3 days when they went back to settle the score (for Lan Xichen) in Lotus Pier. Wei Wuxian had deliberately planted it back then. If one had to summarize his reasons, there were two. The first was to annoy Lan Xichen. The second was also to annoy Lan Xichen.
In summary, at the time, Wei Wuxian still did not understand Lan Xichen's feelings toward him and was still blindly probing around the other man.
Those days were the days when Wei Wuxian still tried to gauge Lan Xichen's reactions, bottom lines, responses, and, of course, his patience. He wanted to know just how much Lan Xichen would tolerate. This Sect Leader Lan had dared to insist on marrying him. Since that was the case, Wei Wuxian naturally wanted to show him beforehand exactly what sort of person he would be bringing into Gusu. What kind of future awaited him. What kind of days would he have to live through.
Perhaps after realizing what kind of trouble he had invited into the Cloud Recesses, before the red wedding candles were ever lit, it would still not be too late for Lan Xichen to regret it and cancel the marriage agreement altogether.
After Wei Wuxian messed up the stunning garden, to his surprise, Lan Xichen did not become angry in the slightest.
Back then, he merely smiled and asked once more, "Are you certain you wish to plant it here? Not somewhere else?"
Wei Wuxian firmly nodded and began to talk nonsense, "I especially picked this beloved plant as a gift for you, Zewu-Jun! I want this spot! I don't want anywhere else!"
Lan Xichen's gaze fell on the random plant and stared at it for quite a while before finally saying, "...Very Well."
Afterward, he smiled at him and gently said,
“Since Wei-Gongzi likes it and wishes to plant it here, then you should take good care of it together with me.”
Wei Wuxian had immediately reassured him with great enthusiasm.
And then he forgot all about it.
It wasn't that he disliked keeping plants or pets; rather, whether during his teenage years or after his marriage, Wei Wuxian spent most of his days running about outside, and would then have no time to take care of them. If he were to keep a pet, perhaps he would choose something like a donkey, which could be brought to travel leisurely outside.
As for this so-called beloved plant that he had insisted must be planted amongst all of Lan Xichen's precious flowers and medicinal herbs, Lan Xichen never reminded or reprimanded him.
Only today, hearing it mentioned again, did Wei Wuxian suddenly remember that such a "beloved plant" had once existed.
Had Lan Xichen quietly uprooted it months ago and thrown it away, Wei Wuxian probably would never have noticed for the rest of his life. Yet now, seeing that the tiny sapling from back then had already grown to the height of his calf, he suddenly understood. During the past year, Lan Xichen must have been the one caring for it.
Recalling those past events, Wei Wuxian could not help laughing.
Lan Xichen had obviously known from the very beginning that he was only making trouble.
Yet despite knowing that, he still allowed him to wreck the painstaking arrangement of his garden.
The weather was cold.
The rain made the air damp and chilly.
Yet Wei Wuxian suddenly felt heat rising into his eyes, and his heart was engulfed in similar warmth.
Lan Xichen had allowed him to do whatever he wished in this garden. Let him plant whatever he wanted. Disrupting the carefully organized scenery into a peculiar arrangement. And somehow, it was precisely because of such a bizarre sight that Wei Wuxian felt he also owned this place.
Hanshi was his home.
Lan Xichen was his family.
And Wei Wuxian belonged here.
He bent down and crouched beside Lan Xichen, studying the small tree with renewed interest.
There was not the slightest trace of embarrassment over having been caught lying about his "beloved plant," and he nonchalantly asked, "By the way, Zewu-Jun, what kind of plant is this? I didn't pay much attention to what it was when I uprooted it."
As expected, Lan Xichen didn't pursue his past whimsical action and kindly told him, "It is Dawn Redwood. The foliage turns red much like maple leaves, though the canopy resembles a pine somewhat."
He paused for a moment.
Then added softly, “Wei-Gongzi, wait until another decade has passed and it reaches maturity. It will be a beautiful sight during autumn and early winter.”
Wei Wuxian had never expected that the random roadside sapling he had casually uprooted would turn out to be such a fine tree. Hearing Lan Xichen telling him about its beauty, Wei Wuxian immediately nodded and replied, "Umm! I can't wait to see it!"
Then he imagined the scene and burst into laughter. "Pfft, it's going to be a real sore thumb when seen from above, the only red among the green bamboo!"
Lan Xichen glanced at him and smiled fondly. “...Yes. Let us wait until that time and see it.”
When that day comes,
I hope you will still be by my side.
Ten years from now.
Twenty years from now.
Or many more decades beyond that.
The corners of Wei Wuxian's lips curved upward as he gazed at Lan Xichen in the same fondness.
He suddenly asked, "Zewu-Jun, do you know the meaning of my name?"
"WuXian? As in, Without Envy."
"Mm. Some people will mistake the name derived from a popular poem. Envy mandarin ducks, do not envy the immortals in the sky. However, my name actually derived from somewhere else."
Lan Xichen nodded and recited, "Jí wú xiàn yú zhì, wài wù fēi suǒ qiān, To live without envy, aspire toward greater heights; remain unmoved by worldly reputation or gain."
His eyes softened. "A good name indeed."
The truth about the Golden Core had never made Lan Xichen pity Wei Wuxian or feel overly sad at his past suffering. That revelation had not told a tragic narrative. Rather, it had revealed the temperament of this person himself.
During his prime in his teens, Wei Wuxian had no status worth mentioning. No parents. No family support. No power or inheritance to compare with those of the other Young Masters. Yet he didn't envy or resent them. Instead, he relied upon his own talent and brilliance, carving out a place for himself.
However, even if the only thing Wei Wuxian possessed was his Cultivation, he still chose to give away even this last bit of his pride. He'd grown up, never envying the young master of his Sect, never coveting others' fortune, and when it was his time to repay kindness, he didn't linger on gain and loss. He lived, without attaching tightly to worldly vanity, able to give up his only pride and attempt to reach a greater thing, for both him and his loved ones.
Even when he initially intended to save the Wen remnants, Lan Xichen knew Wei Wuxian had been ready to leave behind his current fame and honor.
To preserve one's true nature despite hardship was sincerity. Achieving true sincerity can lead to inner freedom and peace, something the Sage would call the "utmost enlightenment", thus, the highest form of gain a human could seek. Ultimately, living up to the meaning of his name, "Aspiring to greater heights."
Lan Xichen smiled. "A profound name means little if the person bearing it is not worthy of its depth...But Wei-Gongzi, you are the embodiment of your name."
"That's a high compliment coming from you, Sect Leader Lan." Wei Wuxian respectfully saluted. "Wei-mou will gladly accept it."
Lan Xichen played along and gave him a similarly poised salute. "Wei-Gongzi deserves it."
Both of them smiled.
The rain continued to patter against the umbrella overhead.
Then Wei Wuxian suddenly said,
"But actually, what I want to say is the thing regarding the poem."
Lan Xichen, "What about the poem?"
"Zewu-Jun, if it were me, even several decades would not be enough."
Wei Wuxian's voice was velvety as he said, "Let alone being satisfied with living just a few years as Mandarin Ducks, if it were me, when I love someone,"
When he reached the word 'someone', he paused and looked directly at Lan Xichen in the eye. " — I wish I could spend my life with you hundreds of years more."
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END~~~
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