Chapter Text
Sakura has heard that success takes equal parts perseverance and luck; a combination of work and talent. But, life likes to teach her that sometimes it also takes failure — that humiliating frustration with what you know you were capable of doing. Falling from the lowest rung leaves you questioning everything you know about yourself, your only hope being the resolve that shows up when you don’t have much left and can’t stand losing even more. It feels like a leap of faith.
And, Sakura would say, this particular job took her at her lowest.
The whole thing started when Tsunade needed Sakura to be part of the special reparations unit after Pain’s Assault on Konoha; the young field unit, Hokage knew, was about to face some of the worst challenges in their entire career, and they desperately needed the village’s best First Aid medics. Her shishou eagerly pulled some favors to get Sakura rushed through the Supplementary Agent exams, which were required for anyone working alongside the secret forces.
This, quite unfortunately for Sakura, meant dealing with ANBU instructors, trained to vet ANBU candidates. Though, quite fortunately, Tsunade pulled enough of these favors to get Sakura exempted from the full two-month testing nightmare, accelerated right down the list of what her sensei declared to be “entirely unnecessary in times of emergency.”
Sakura just needed to deal with the only item that the committee refused to budge on if they were to concede the Minor Agent title to such a young medic — the Infiltration Essentials. A test of basic ground stealth, breaching operations, and the standards of unassuming behavior that allow for blending in within the enemy territory.
That is, the kind of foundational shinobi skills that Sakura should have known very well — excelled at, even — by the virtue of the kind of missions she was able to handle at the current rank in her career.
But, Sakura failed the exam.
That evening, Tsunade was about as gentle as Sakura has ever seen her. Lady Hokage apologized, reiterated that it was her own fault for rushing Sakura along and being impatient, for making her forgo even the most basic of the introductory trainings before urging her inside the ANBU lion den.
It was the last thing Sakura wanted to hear. By the time she made it into her office she has already come to terms that she failed her sensei when she relied on her for basic competency, at the time when she absolutely needed her assistance on the front lines. Now her apologies were igniting all sorts of feelings within Sakura.
A scathing disappointment in herself — a raging storm she accepted there was no longer a point in shielding from. A desperate desire to turn back time, take the situation more seriously, contribute more effort. Do better.
Then, selfish frustration. At how exhausted she has been from endless months of struggle and fear, from the ever-present, escalating danger that could erase anyone’s life, stumbling genin and expert jonin alike, in just an instant. A wrong move.
And, deep within herself, Sakura was also angry at how foolish it was for Tsunade to put so much on the line over what she thought was a fail-proof option. That Sakura was her fail-proof option.
Faced with the tall Hokage desk and holding her stance, Sakura finally notices just how constricted her chest really is, the tension pulling and snapping inside her ribcage alike electrical cables. They whip at her insides as they rip, the sparks zap at her nerve endings.
Why her? Since when was she fit to bear this kind of weight on her shoulders?
She draws in her next breath slowly, works to keep her feet from fidgeting. She focuses on the shape of individual letters on the spines of books stacked at the table, her hands folded behind her back, fingers of one hand constricting around the other until she feels numbness in her fingertips.
She tunes back in when her sensei is in the middle of an explanation. “… so I was able to convince him to get you in on one of the Assistant exams tomorrow morning. If you are willing.”
Tsunade pauses, studies Sakura, but the silence lays heavy. She closes her eyes and sighs.
“I understand if you don’t, Sakura. I would really appreciate a medic of your caliber out there, but only if you are willing.” Lady Hokage shifts a document in front of herself. “Genma recommended the Assisting Interrogator position.” She interlocks her fingers and leans her chin on them. “We will put an emergency stamp on it. It’s a simple team-tag capture field test and a quick captive pressure exercise. Genma will be present for it. It’s practically the opposite of a stealth test, so I think you will have better success with it.”
Sakura waits for her shishou to continue talking, but the way she pins Sakura in place with her gaze demands an answer.
The young kunoichi readjusts her weight, nods absentmindedly, her eyes seek out the floor of the office. “I will do it.” Sakura isn’t sure she thought this through, but the words were already out.
Tsunade inhales a little, and Sakura knows she is sitting with her mouth slightly open, searching for encouraging words. The girl winces, waits for them to come out and hit her, have her wrestle with them to figure out where they fit.
She realizes, then, that she can’t.
She can’t handle just standing still anymore, holding back all the anxiety flaring up inside, looking like a cat with ears pressed to its head, trained to any signs of movement and bracing for an inevitable impact. Sakura feels herself turning on her heels, her hand leaping for the door. She ignores Tsunade calling out after her, pondering if she will feel humiliated later remembering this. Then, she runs off.
When she starts paying attention to her surroundings again, she has already met up with Neji who was going to escort her home this evening, as is usual for their routine. He, in turn, is hanging out with Gai in the restaurant district — one of the few areas left intact within the destroyed village. Sakura vaguely remembers greeting the man in the green suit with a polite smile just a few minutes earlier.
Her attention goes back to the villagers slowly streaming past the restaurant stalls. Standing among her own, Sakura feels like she is peering from one world into another, a bit like a curious cat watching a lively aquarium tank, captivated by the novelty of vibrant colors in a world so alien to her own.
Out of the corner of her eye, Sakura notices Gai swinging his hands through the air, lunging out a confident thumbs-up at Neji.
Then, she imagines walking down the street along with one of the groups, laughing to a friend, groaning about tomorrow’s job shift at the grocery shop. Maybe confiding how she actually misses that dusty convenience store she used to hate once, now that it’s ashes and dust — maybe it’s that owner, who reminds her of a close friend that got buried somewhere in the rubble amidst thousands of others. Then, back again to how we are stuck waiting on any news from those darn shinobi and the council, spewing out all of those nonsensical, scatterbrained decisions…
“Sakura?” Neji’s voice.
She snaps her head back to them. “Mm?”
Gai watches her with a bit of concern in his eyes, but Neji’s face is calm. He offers her a knowing smile, then. “Busy evening?”
Sakura blinks, then nods. “I think… I need to use a bathroom.” Really, she just needs a moment alone to catch her breath.
Neji smirks, “Good luck finding one.”
Sakura’s lips twitch awkwardly as she considers this, and then Gai interjects enthusiastically: “Ohh, Neji-kun, but you are forgetting about our dedicated reconnaissance space! The owner would happily show Sakura to the upstairs resting area!”
Right, Sakura remembers. Kebi-san, the owner of the reopened grill restaurant, has always been kind to shinobi and the front-line dispatch, and recently has shown just as much hospitality to the construction workers. Grill’s restrooms weren’t the cleanest, but they were definitely among the best options in the recovering district.
“Try to get back here before Kakashi-sensei.” Neji sneaks in a request, and Sakura gives him a tired smile and a wave and disappears into the crowd.
She weaves herself in between the groups, and then her eyes catch on just how clear the sky is. The moon is full, shining bright. It’s a little mesmerizing. Sakura steps a bit too close to someone’s back. It briefly disorients her; after taking in the crisp light, her eyes fight for the correct contrast.
She slows down to create some distance from the man she almost ran into, only to have a young guy brush past her and cut in front. Sakura once again struggles to reconcile her surroundings, and it doesn’t feel right. The street feels darker than it should be. Her eyes should have adjusted by now. There is tension building in her chest. A wire spark.
No, no, it’s okay. I am just a little tired. Sakura takes in a deep, slow breath and settles following behind two lady friends who are discussing festival outfits, gawky distant cousins, and embarrassing flirting attempts.
One of them turns her head, and Sakura glances up, but she can’t recognize any features on her face.
She feels lightheaded.
The street and its people tilt and the ground suddenly feels much closer than it is.
Sakura stumbles her way off to the side, noting that her heart is racing. She grips the wall, hangs her head, works on steadying her breath, weakly waves off an old man kindly checking in on her. Sakura inhales shakily and focuses her eyes on a chip in the stone texture.
I am okay. Should be okay. I am just tired.
She had a pretty exhausting day.
Her thoughts drift to earlier today, to the confused look of an ANBU student, her team partner, watching Sakura fumble with lockpicking tools. Rummaging through the box, Sakura located and then pulled apart what looked like a multi-tool knife, tried sticking it into the key hole, the door slit, jab it at the handle, then realize that, in her scrambling, she forgot the bare basics: hiding her chakra signature. But that realization came once the instructor was already standing next to her, looking down at her kneeling beside the pillaged tool box. His gaze was firm and disapproving.
Sakura unexpectedly arrives at something Tsunade told her, though she doesn’t remember when. ‘I think you inherited some of Naruto’s persistence, Sakura.’
Naruto’s persistence.
Sakura feels something unforgiving grip at her stomach, watches the wall in front of her spiral and blur. She feels a stranger’s hand on her arm, the physical contact she is surprised she even registered over the feeling of churning in her gut.
“Sir, I told you I don’t need any help…” Sakura clenched her teeth behind closed lips, tried to straighten herself up, look at the man trying to offer help.
But, she realized, once his hand landed on her hip, he is not the old man she was speaking to before. He rubbed her arm up and down, in a gesture Sakura might have even found to be comforting if it wasn’t for how he was checking out her figure over her shoulder. “Don’t worry, I got you,” the man whispered in her ear, his voice gruff.
Sakura closed her eyes, concentrated on forming words. “I know how to hit, and hit hard, so I wouldn’t mess with me if I were you.” She warned, then jerked her tingling arm to shake off the man’s hand. The grip on her hip remained firm, however, and Sakura seriously wished this unfortunate excuse of a man tested her patience on just about any other day — she would have already left him with a crack in his skull. As if she wasn’t already infuriated enough, Sakura registered a shape of a kunai swinging from the back, and moments later its flat side was pressed against her neck.
“I figured that much. But, maybe we could talk it out?” Sakura sighed, winced, grabbed the man’s hand at the wrist, squeezing hard, and felt beginnings of a weak genjutsu prodding at her mind. What a piece of scum, Sakura thought, to be using this against unarmed civilians on the streets. Was the situation in the village this desperate? She really hoped not.
She bit the inside of her lip to contain her anger, which did nothing to help her fight the man off in that moment, even if she pushed back against his cheap trick of a jutsu. She imagined tightening her grip on that wrist until she felt the bones shift under her fingers. Instead, she felt the stranger’s hand on her hip shift onto her thigh, then up to her ass. She felt sick. Like, really sick. Sakura gripped at the wall, gasped, gritted her teeth, and prepared to puke, angrily, all over this asshole.
“You might want to rethink that.” Sakura heard a familiar voice, then, and the hands that were on her disappeared very quickly. She exhaled in relief, which had an undesired side effect of releasing her muscle strength, sending Sakura’s forehead into the wall, her body pressing into the surface right after to slow herself down as she started sliding.
Gentle hands caught her, held her in place.
“Kakashi-sensei…” Sakura helped the man lift her up, brace her against the wall. His knee had a reassuring pressure against her leg, and the wave of Sakura’s spinning reality crashed upon Kakashi’s solid presence, clinging to a lighthouse standing immutable against the violent waves, until Sakura’s nausea finally begins to recede.
“Hold on.” When Kakashi spoke, she turned her head to watch his eye darting around the crowd. “What did he do to you?”
“Nothing…” The girl responded a little weakly, licked her lips when she noted just how dry they were. “He only barely managed to corner me. Low-caliber genjutsu… Just— he just did it… at a bad time.”
Kakashi gave her a worried look then, caught her by the arm when she stumbled. “Are you okay?”
Sakura nodded. “Yeagh—“, she cleared her throat when her voice cracked and then tried again, “Yeah.”
Kakashi’s attention was on her, holding her up, encouraging her to lean back on him as she regained feeling in her feet. At some point he walked her inside the Grill and got her a spot on the waiting bench by the entrance. Kakashi took a moment to glare at other patrons to ensure no questions are asked, and crouched down to be eye-level with her.
Kakashi asked her questions, then, but quickly realized Sakura wasn’t in a mood to talk.
“You need to go home and rest,” he offers in the end. She nods. “I will walk you home.” She shakes her head.
“I am fine, sensei.”
“I imagine you can handle yourself, but you nearly collapsed on the side of a busy street just a few minutes ago. Perhaps it would be wise if you—…”
“Sensei, I am fine.”
He studies her eyes. She makes sure to look back firmly.
“I can walk. The panic attack… or, whatever it was. It’s over. I am fine.” She puts her hand on her upper arm, flexes the muscle in demonstration. Kakashi watches her with an unreadable expression. Sakura sighs, adjusts in her seat. “I have a lot to think over. I think I need some space right now.”
Kakashi’s eyes linger for a few moments longer. She holds his gaze, sees her reflection in them. He studies her intently, as if he sees some part of himself in her. Sees Sakura feeling around in the dark, searching for a balance point, a sense of control. There is a flicker of understanding on his face.
He creases his eye in a polite expression and stands up with “well, then”, patting down his pants. He stretches a hand towards Sakura, but she shakes her head and gets up on her feet by herself.
“Thank you, sensei.” She tries to give him a grateful smile, but imagines it falls a little flat with just how tired she must be looking. Kakashi slides his hands into his pockets, watches Sakura stroll out of the restaurant, dodging patrons finding their way in.
Sakura focuses on making her way back home, not bothering to turn her head to check whether Kakashi is following her. She assumes he registered her request. But, Sakura considered, if he does decide to trail her for some dumb reason, she really is too fucking exhausted right now to give a single shit about it.
After that she only manages a few minutes alone in the quiet darkness of her apartment. She is resting in her chair, her elbows propped on the dining table and her hands covering her face. Then, there is knocking.
Sakura decides that the person on the other side can assume she is dead, for all she cares.
“Sakura!”
She sighs. It’s Neji.
Sakura lets her hands drop onto the table. There is more knocking. She chews on her lip, looks out of the window, leans her chin on her hand. The moon was now mostly covered by a line of thick clouds, but it still felt too bright for her tired eyes. More knocking.
She gets up, then, stumbles a little, opens the door. The sharp ray of orange light from the street lamp outside slices through the crack, penetrates the room. She winces.
“What the hell, Sakura?” It’s rare to see Neji this affected. Offended, even, to be more accurate.
“I am really not in a state to talk, Neji. I am sorry.”
He stands there stiffly, silently. He crosses his arms.
“But… I guess you could come in.” Sakura musters the strength to step aside, begrudgingly.
“Sakura.” Neji flips the switch on his way in, making the girl clamp her eyes shut, grit her teeth. She considers just sliding onto the floor right by the door and hearing out Neji’s rant from here. “I know we aren’t that close, and I am not prying for anything more, but you could at least have let me know before you left.”
Sakura sighs, blinks, makes her way back to the table. Flops into the chair opposite from Neji. “Hasn’t Kakashi-sensei told you?”
He presses his lips, unamused. “You know what I mean.” He pauses, glances up to the pile of dishes Sakura just remembered she left on the counter because the sink was already full. Neji shakes his head, leans back into the chair, studies the exhausted mess sitting across from him. “You need a break.”
Sakura exhales in a chuckle. “I really do.”
“Then, tomorrow—“
“I have an exam, Neji, I am not taking a break tomorrow.”
“… another one?”
Sakura considers her words. “Last chance.”
“Gods, Sakura, what is this all about?”
“I told you, it’s a secret order. I already said more than I should.” Pink-haired girl readjusts in the chair, faces away from the source of light in the room.
Neji sighs in frustration. She feels his eyes examining her.
“Then go to sleep.”
“I don’t know if I will fall asleep. I feel tense.” She bites her lip. “I was trying to relax before you came, actually.”
“By stewing in your own negative thoughts?”
“I guess.”
“Indulge me.”
Sakura shakes her head. “I don’t know if that will help.”
Neji shrugs. “Maybe it will.”
Sakura considers telling him to just leave her alone. Would it be too rude to push him out of the door? Would she even be able to, in this state? She squeezes the hand on the table into a fist, hears her leather glove creak, imagines gripping the wrist of that pervert from the street. Feels the bones twist, snap, crunch. Feels her nails digging into her own skin.
“You are going to make your hands bleed at this rate.”
“I am a medic. I can heal them.”
“You seem to be barely able to stand, much less channel your chakra and—“ He cuts himself off, “Sakura.”
Sakura exhales. “I just want to finally…” She looks at her hand, still balled into a fist. “Feel a tight grip on… on all of this. Squeeze. Squeeze so hard… so hard, that it—… I don’t know. I just want to grab all of it by its balls. Have life stop messing with me. Let go of me… I don’t know—…” The girl grits her teeth, presses the fist firmer into the table, just to feel more pressure. “Feel some sense of control over this… flaming… wreck.”
Neji is silent. Sakura hesitates, swallows, makes a small embarrassed noise at the back of her throat. Feels silly. She starts looking for words to apologize for her outburst, her weird behavior tonight, for going home without telling him a word… but she shifts her attention when Neji leans back in the chair and smirks.
“Is this the part where I roleplay Mistress Life for you and you grab me by the balls to feel better?”
Sakura’s eyes widen. A puff of air escapes her mouth. She chuckles, quietly. Neji’s smile widens. Sakura bites her lip. “Fuck off.”
“No, I am serious. Just don’t squeeze too hard.”
“You really suck at this whole comforting thing.” There is a smile in her voice.
“So I have been told.” Neji shrugs. “I am offering you my balls. What else do you want?” He smirks.
Sakura considers this. The guy really can be a prick. It’s one of those cases where you just can’t cross that line from friendship to intimacy with someone, but you find yourself fucking somehow. But… the tension in her chest refuses to give, and Sakura craves the feeling of her hands digging into flesh… and if Neji is willing to let her…
Neji must have sensed Sakura’s interest, because he is by her side within seconds, lifting her up and out of the chair, guiding her hand to his clothed crotch. He is flaccid, she notes, but he slides her hand down and wraps it in his, encouraging it to close around his testicles. “Just, gently, please.” He whispers, and there is a playful smirk on his face. Sakura notices, with a little tingle of pride, a blush spreading on his cheeks.
Can she get him off on this?
Within a minute of tentative pets and squeezes, Neji grabs at her arm. “Had enough?” The smug expression returns to his face.
Sakura licks her lips, moves her fingers on the fabric in a tickling motion. “Do you enjoy me holding you like this?”
He chuckles, a little awkwardly. “It’s okay. I had… other things in mind.”
Sakura smiles, lets him move her hand higher up his crotch. She presses against his now slightly more interested member through the fabric. Feels it respond. “You want me to just keep rubbing at it?” She raises her eyebrow, mirroring his playfulness. “Or maybe sucking you off would be more pleasant?”
Neji’s nose twitches. “No modesty at all, hm?”
“Don’t like me dirty talking?” She remarks, then notes with disappointment that he starts softening under her hand. “Oh. Sorry…”
He shrugs. “I am just tired tonight. It was hard to get into a mood as is. Not your fault, really. Wanted to help you feel better.”
Sakura chews on her lip. Rubs a circle into Neji’s crotch, tentatively, then moves her hand off. “Gotcha. Sorry.”
Neji tries a polite smile. Sakura huffs out a chuckle.
“You usually aren’t into this stuff anyway.” She feels the back of her neck tensing. “I should have been more mindful. My bad.”
“Nah, you are fine. I hope I helped in some way.”
Sakura nods, looks away. “Yeah… thank you. I—… um… I appreciate you caring, Neji. I do.”
Neji breathes in, pauses. “Hey, I should have probably told you, anyway…”
She turns to him.
“I am… kinda in my own thoughts today. Nowhere near as bad as you are, mind you.”
Sakura’s hands twitch by her sides. “Sorry… that I added on to that. I didn’t mean to… leave in a rush when I did. I was just really feeling like shit.”
“Yeah, I know. Kakashi didn’t say it, but the way he said it made me worry. Got a bit frustrated. Felt like you were hiding something from me. But that’s selfish, I know. The whole Hokage secret orders thing, I get it.”
Sakura nods. “Sorry, Neji.”
“Anyway…” He walks back and sits at the table. Sakura follows. “That thing, uh…” He adjusts in the chair, his pose a bit awkward. “Tenten confronted me on the training grounds today, we… talked for a bit.”
Sakura feels air freeze in her lungs. She pushes through that, leans forward. “Oh! Neji… did she…?”
He nods. “Yeah, you were right.”
Her throat pulses. Sakura forms a sympathetic smile. “She has feelings for you.”
“She is… interested, I guess.” He shrugs.
“You gonna try?” She swallows.
Neji lifts a hand to rub at his neck. “Is that okay…?”
Sakura nods eagerly. Only quick words make it past her tense throat. “Yeah. Of course.” She swallows again. “You should.”
Neji studies her carefully. “Sakura, if you are in a bad place, I—…”
She shakes her head. “No, no. Neji. I am fine. It’s good.” She takes a deep breath, shows him another small smile. “This is good.”
Neji nods. “Well, I am still here for you.”
“I know.”
“Should you need anything, Sakura…”
Sakura stops him by shaking her head. She holds her breath for a moment. Nods. “Thank you, Neji. Really.”
He is nodding in return, there is a playful smirk on his face again. He opens his mouth, pauses. Closes it. Shrugs. Relaxes into a neutral facial expression. “Yeah.”
Sakura presses her thumb into her hand. Traces it against her skin, lets her eyes stare at something behind Neji’s head, unfocused. “Yeah.” She feels the nail catch on the skin of her finger. She presses it in.
When the door closes and Neji is gone, Sakura cries. A betraying tear escapes down her cheek, pivots to catch under her nose. Another one gathers up in the corner of her eye and the room blurs, yellow light scattering in her vision alike a kaleidoscope. Her lips twitch. She feels her shoulders jerk when she swallows around the ball straining in her throat. She opens her mouth to gulp down air and squeezes her eyes shut, feeling hot, bitter streaks streaming down her face. They gather on her chin, drip onto her hands. Her eyes sting, her body trembles, she fights against the strangling feeling of her own ribs.
Then, Sakura lets herself cry ugly. Her face contorts ugly because nobody has to see, the noises that rip out of her mouth are also ugly, which nobody else needs to hear. Her face itches in spots where the tears start to dry.
Once she calms down, she takes a shower. She is drying her hair with a towel when she feels her lips tremble. She was crying again. She feels so frustrated with herself. She fights back more tears, mentally searches for something she can throw at the pulsing knot inside of her, silence it, tries to think of something to fall back onto, create some distance. But pain clutches to her with fierce jealousy.
It’s true that Sakura never fully had Neji to begin with. But it still hurt like hell to let him go when Sakura had barely anything left.
Her eyes feel puffy and are aching when she slowly wakes up to the sun barging into her bedroom through the cracks in the blinds. She pulls air into her dry nostrils, rolls over, looks at the alarm clock. Two hours left.
Sakura closes her eyes, holds them shut. Shifts to another side. Then back. Wrestles with her thoughts for a while. She can’t tell if she fell back asleep. One hour left.
Her temples feel sore. It’s too warm. There is a crumb somewhere in the sheets. Having her eyes closed no longer provides relief from the scratchy sensation on her eyelids. Thirty minutes.
To Sakura’s relief, the heavy emotions from yesterday haven’t come back yet. She feels worn out, but calm. Fifteen.
She watches the clock. Ten. Five.
She gets up.
Sakura rubs her eyes as she washes her face in the sink, but most of her face still feels dry. When she glances up at the mirror, she notices that her eyes are tinted red. Looking at them makes her face sting with discomfort, so she doesn’t.
Instead, Sakura notices that she didn’t change from yesterday’s red vest into something she prefers for sleep. Though, she did take off her skirt and undershorts at some point. Come to think of it, she can’t remember how she fell asleep. Or when.
She drops the toothbrush after yanking it out of its stand. Sakura looks at it lying at the bottom of the sink, under the steady stream of water. She watches it with an absent, unblinking gaze.
When Sakura sees her test partner from yesterday on the training grounds, they exchange a knowing look. Thankfully, she knows not to ask difficult questions of Sakura this morning. Instead, the ANBU student grins, “Glad to see you’ve made it. Impressive.”
Sakura smiles back, shrugs nonchalantly (in a bit of a Neji style, she notices). Sakura admits that she didn’t catch her test partner’s name from yesterday. Nara Riho, she learns. Riho introduces herself with a toothy smile, her arms folded behind her back. Sakura hopes they won’t end up on opposite teams today.
Her wishes are granted. Sakura, Riho, and a guy heavily obsessed with his collection of shuriken end up in the same group, part of the blue team. Part one of the test has them capturing as many of the yellow team people as they can. Part two is specifically designed for handler and assistant interrogator candidates, who are tasked with getting “enemy secrets” from those who got captured.
Sakura’s mission was clear. Don’t get captured, pass interrogation test. No stealth or lockpicking necessary.
She can do this.
This time around she just needs things to go according to plan.
They don’t.
The shuriken guy separates from the group and, once Sakura is done ranting about overconfident idiots getting eliminated first, she switches to cursing everything living under the sun as they try to fight off a yellow group, two against three.
Riho pins one of them with an assault of the Shadow Imitation senbon, and then wrestles with another.
Sakura sends forth shockwaves of dirt from powerful punches towards her own opponent, only to notice that he is luring her to move in circles around the field. She creates a clone and lets the guy take it out to throw him off track.
It works. Sakura smirks to herself. She could handle an ANBU opponent. They just needed to hold them at bay before one of their units catches up — they were still close to their team’s starting area.
Moments later, Sakura hears Riho scream and feels her stomach drop.
Shit.
A kunai rips through the leaf canopy above and Sakura dodges out of the way, letting it embed itself in the bark where her head was.
Shit.
The pink-haired kunoichi squeezes her hands, her leather gloves squeaking, and yells “cha!” as she delivers a hit to the tree ahead of her, splintering the wood around her fist and cracking the trunk in half.
The opponent with a yellow tie around his upper arm lands on a branch behind him, only to feel it sag under weight when Sakura’s left hand catches onto it. Her right hand’s fingers wrap around the ankle of the yellow team ANBU and send him flying towards the ground along with her. Sakura lands on her feet and flings her wrist towards the earth with more force, the impact violent even with the ANBU having his elbows out to protect his torso.
He grunts, grits his teeth from pain, coughs from the plumes of dust.
Got him. She grins with excitement.
Then, a series of kunai send Sakura jumping backwards, forced to let go of her opponent. She wrinkles her nose in frustration, watches the lady with a yellow tie on her leg land in between them.
Riho is nowhere to be seen. Sakura digs her teeth into her lip. She is alone.
The guy she was fighting moments ago dodges around his teammate, ignoring her frown, and lunges directly at Sakura. She blocks his fist firmly, and he dodges her leg swing. She pulls out her kunai to meet his blade, and he jumps out of the way when she cracks the ground under him.
He lands with his back to a tree. Sakura darts forward. This is it. Her next hit is it.
He knows her kicks by now, so he will just block and jump up into the tree, and her opportunity will be lost. He has learned that she goes for the face or chest with her punches. He will dodge if she aims for the feet, since she is slow with her full sweeps. His stance is firm — a quick swing won’t destabilize him. What else?
What else?
Sakura feels anxiety grip her stomach, her step falters a little. The guy watches her carefully, and when she spots the look of confidence growing on his face, she feels yesterday’s emotions come barreling back at her.
Curse this stupid exam. It was likely designed for some kind of a clever approach to team coordination only ANBU kids learned and practiced.
Honestly, stupid Akatsuki, too. If the village wasn’t so irreparably destroyed, if they didn’t lose so many talented shinobi, Tsunade wouldn’t be so desperate trying to send Sakura to the front lines of some stupid secretive efforts Sakura knew little to nothing about.
And, really, stupid Neji, too, for winding her up further last night when she was already struggling to relax and telling her about the stupid Tenten situation when Sakura was already losing her mind worrying about hundreds of things, and—…
Sakura slides to her opponent’s side, presses her hand firmly into the guy’s balls, and pins him right into the tree. He stares at Sakura with wide eyes, his hands jerk and stutter to try and do something about the unexpected attack, and then Sakura thinks of Neji again and how the man could just go flaccid under her touch and his stupid antics and she squeezes.
The guy yelps. The yellow team lady behind them squeaks.
Sakura must be looking rightfully enraged, because the guy grits his teeth from pain but doesn’t dare shift his eyes, staring at her with a terrified expression.
Sakura hisses “I am so fucking tired” under her breath and sends the guy flying off to the side with a swing to his jaw. He tumbles to the ground, unable to stop himself from flipping mid-air, and then falls onto his back with a groan.
Sakura snaps around with viciousness, and the opponent girl fumbles for her katana. “T-this is fighting dirty!” She squeaks out. “T-this must be against the rules!”
Sakura watches two trained ANBU students stumble and stutter not unlike a fresh team of scared genin. Her vision clears a bit, expands to take in the battlefield. She feels her stomach muscles flex, in a pleasant way. “Rules…? I believe the only rules I heard were—…” Sakura squeezes her hand, sends it down to the ground, “’Whatever it takes to capture the opponent’!”
The earth splits under her fist. At that moment, the startled yellow-team kunoichi regains her composure, focus returning to her features. She hops into the air, sending multiple waves of kunai at Sakura with impressive speed. Sakura’s figure pops at the impact and sizzles out in clouds of chakra. A small length of wood falls to the ground in her place.
As soon as the opponent girl notices Sakura darting out from between the trees, more kunai come flying. She is fast. But Sakura’s body once again pops in the substitution jutsu.
Sakura comes at her from the back, then, making signs with her hands. The ANBU student sends kunai that way as well. After that, she sidesteps and turns with practiced elegance, waiting for Sakura to appear from yet another direction. Then, a bloodied arm lunges out from behind her and locks her neck against Sakura’s chest.
“What—…” The yellow-team girl squeaks out. “That one wasn’t a clone…?”
“Gods, even old genin tactics work against you,” Sakura remarks victoriously and secures the girl’s other hand.
Out of the corner of her eye Sakura notices her previous opponent scurry off the ground and start running — though, in the direction of the woods. Sakura doesn’t know whether to feel relief or disappointment at this coward and his abused nuts.
She grins, however, when he is cut off by three blue team members. Sakura’s plan was successful. They probably lost Riho, but at least their team captured two in return.
And yet, soon enough Sakura felt like the forest clashing was the easy part of the exam. Sitting in a chair across from the yellow-team coward guy, his hands tied behind his back, Sakura isn’t quite sure where to even begin with him.
She glances at Genma by the door, leaning against a shaded corner, the senbon in his mouth unmoving as he studies the interaction in front of him.
Okay… supposedly this should be difficult to screw up. Sakura already made an impression on the guy — however silly her move was, it did get him to freeze and panic, so it did work.
Now, back to the basics. Sakura recalls what Genma walked her through: ‘Establish the line of opponent’s normal reactions, then catch deviations and use them as your weapon.’
Sakura looks over the captive. His eyes move around the room slowly, lazily, though she notices that he avoids looking at the pink-haired kunoichi directly. He licks at his teeth behind his lips, the gesture meant to appear casual. He was putting on an act.
“I noticed you were willing to ditch your teammate,” Sakura flinches internally right as she says it, worried she might have started off too strong.
The guy just shrugs. This is encouraging, but the gesture gets on Sakura’s nerves a little. It’s not that they resemble those casual Neji shrugs. No, the way he does it feels too dismissive against the gravity of the accusation.
Sakura thinks to Riho. Feels annoyed that her capable teammate got traded for this unmindful idiot. If this was a real situation, Sakura would have needed to learn as much as she could to rescue her.
She takes in a slow breath, studies the guy across from her for a moment. Then, she tries, “Coward.”
He flinches. Glares at her. Right, that’s it.
“Did I accidentally crush your little nuts? Because you certainly seem to have lost the ability to stand your ground after.”
She could swear she saw some movement coming from Genma in the back, but focusing on the captive’s reactions was more important right now.
And boy, were there reactions. Within minutes of her teasing the yellow-team ANBU was reduced to a yelling mess with a flushed face. “If your team hasn’t showed up, you would have been toast! We totally had you!”
“I recall holding your teammate by her neck.” Sakura grins, gets up, walks over to the guy, puts her hand on the back of his chair, hovering over him, “or do you need a refresher?”
The ANBU captive watches her with alarm. “What are you planning? To make me confess by crushing my balls?” He tries to raise his eyebrow in a cocky expression, but Sakura can see past it now. She can see the sweat gathering on his forehead. She grins right in his face, and that eyebrow falls quickly.
She considers what else she can do to shake his resolve. Ideas run through her head, and some seem interesting, fun. She feels mischievous. Her hand is on his chest, and within moments it finds a nipple through the fabric. Sakura pinches the spot forcefully, getting at some surrounding skin as well. The guy chokes. “We can start somewhere else first, if you would like.”
Sakura shifts her weight off her other hand, the one that was on the back of the chair, moves it to the captive’s groin, presses in.
“Oh, you would like that, wouldn’t you?” She hears herself say as she palms his no doubt uncomfortable half-erection. For a second, she wonders where the hell all of this is coming from. The closest Sakura has ever gotten to doing this sort of a thing was deep within her imagination, inspired by novels, jokes from her peers, and maybe a couple of fantasies, forming some words and maybe some ideas, with only a minuscule part ever making it to the surface when Neji would tolerate her playfulness more than usual.
Now Neji is gone and Sakura has barely gotten any sleep and all of the stops seem to be gone.
She slides her hand against the guy’s crotch and he gasps, retreating further into the chair. Teaching him a lesson like this feels satisfying down to the bone. A giddy, unruly feeling builds up in Sakura’s chest.
“W-wait…” He croaks, then hisses, because Sakura finds the head of his penis through the fabric and grips a little too tight.
“What? Surely you don’t expect me to pleasure you until you orgasm out the information about my friend’s location?”
The ANBU captive looks at her like she is deranged. Then, she squeezes harder and he trembles. “Stop! Wait! Not there!”
“Oh… okay.” Sakura creases her eyes in a smile and sticks out her tongue a little, trying for a bit of a blush as well to complete the look. Then, she lightly kicks his knee to the side with her leg and jams her hand in as far between his thighs as it will go. Her fingers catch on his nutsack a little, but, more importantly, reach behind into the perineum and press firmly in the area she hopes is close enough to her desired destination. “I will go get something to stretch you here first.” She feels the smile on her face turn into something much more fierce.
It’s a rather dumb and crude attempt at intimidation, the line coming right from a ludicrous novel she laughed herself hoarse to with a drunk Ino. But, the guy is trembling, eyes wide and a blush hot on his face, his ego in shambles. The sound that comes out of his throat resembles a sob, and he squeezes his eyes shut and pleads Sakura to stop.
Just a couple minutes after he spills everything the yellow team was briefed on. Sakura can’t believe she has ever felt threatened by these guys.
After one of the blue team handlers collects the captive, Sakura stands up in the empty room and takes in a slow breath. Coming off of adrenaline, she feels fatigued again, but there is a powerful steadying force within her core. It’s a peculiar feeling. In a way, Sakura felt like she stumbled out of a raging tsunami and an earthquake, and somehow walked right into a circle lit by peaceful rays of sun — right into a center of balance.
Then, Genma speaks behind her. “You are too young to be doing this.” She turns, meeting his judging gaze.
Sakura blinks, then remembers that he was here for the entire procedure. The realization of exactly what he saw settles in and she feels herself blushing. “Well, I did pass, didn’t I…?” As she spoke, Sakura realized she actually isn’t sure she hasn’t done something quite questionable to invalidate her results.
Genma nods, slowly. “Yes, a little too easy.” He moves the senbon in his mouth. Sakura’s tired eyes follow it. “Are you sure you want to pass?”
Sakura blinks in confusion again, refocuses her eyes on his face. “Sorry…?”
“I can come up with a pretty convincing story. Make it clear it wasn’t your fault in the slightest.” Genma furrows his eyebrows, watches the pink-haired kunoichi with a serious look on his face. “Nothing else will leave this room. You will be free to return to whatever it is you would rather be doing.”
The meaning finally hits her. Sakura thinks over his words. This is the moment for her to actually evaluate this whole situation. Get out clean.
Really, can Sakura be an emergency medic and an assistant to an interrogator on the front lines, following such a major cataclysm? That’s a lot of responsibility to juggle. Sakura has been taught how to save lives, pull someone back from the brink of almost certain death with everything she can give, and now she is supposed to threaten lives to squeeze out confessions? Was she even fit to do something like this?
Sakura looks to the captive’s chair, now empty.
She studies that pleasant flex in her muscles. Feels her own resolve growing within her. Flexes her hand. Feels a desire to grip onto someone… and make them squirm and squeal.
Yeah, okay, that’s a bit…
Weird?
Or… maybe…
A little satisfying? Like, in a way that’s not quite as weird?
She thinks back to that coward, his arrogant eyes. Sees him run off and leave his teammate behind. And then his balls are in her hand and he is staring at her in terror.
Yes. Very satisfying.
She thinks of the pathetic pervert from the restaurant district, and suddenly it’s him she is pinning against the wall. Sakura’s imagination completes the rest of his features she didn’t get to see, and this man’s legs are shaking, his lips are trembling. He will never dare to feel a woman up like that again.
A wave of excitement runs up Sakura’s spine.
Would it be that bad if Sakura helps straighten out some bastards?
Genma sighs and closes his eyes in acceptance, a small smile forming on his face.