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The next morning, the smell of something delicious wakes you fully, the sound of something sizzling over a skillet reaching your room. Soohyuk's side of the bed was cold - he must've been awake for a while.
There's a ball of nerves in your stomach as you sit up in bed. The smell of bacon wafts into your room, the usual smell not triggering the rumble of your stomach signaling hunger, but rather something worse. Combining your nerves and the memory of the placement of his hand was…nauseating.
You felt horrible, for telling him no, and even worse when he apologized.
Why were you this way?
You quickly go into the bathroom, and open the bottle of isopropyl alcohol, taking a sniff and coughing from the immediate burning effect on your nose.
At least the nausea is gone - for now.
After doing some breathing exercises for a few minutes, you do your morning routine and dress in loungewear before going to the kitchen, where you stop at the entrance way. Soohyuk was plating bacon onto two plates, paired with scrambled eggs, muffins with butter and jam. A very American breakfast.
Somehow, seeing him cooking, in only the joggers you let him wear (still shirtless, which was wild when cooking bacon), made you smile, the act appeasing your upset stomach.
He cooked for you.
“Morning.”
Soohyuk looks back, throwing a smile before finishing up with the plates. “Good morning, baby. Hungry? I thought I'd cook a little something…to, y'know, apologize again.”
“Oh…”
Soohyuk puts the plates down before stepping closer to you and takes your hands. “I'm very sorry. I know you forgave me, but I feel like the worst guy ever. You were clear about what you want and don't want. And I let my…desires rule over me for a split second. It's just…” He closes his eyes, shaking his head with an exasperated sigh. “The sounds you were making. When I massaged you? God, I just wanted to hear more of it.” He opens his eyes. “I'm sorry. It wasn't right of me.”
Your cheeks were red after hearing his attestation. You didn't know what to make of it - not feeling any sort of reciprocation at all if you imagine the roles were reversed. Sure, he makes you weak at the knees and warm in your chest, maybe butterflies in your stomach. But they were feelings attached to a crush.
So you wonder, could it be possible to want him in the way he obviously wants you? That's the big question for you - always has been.
“You're…not mad?”
Soohyuk shakes his head before leaning down to kiss your forehead. “Not mad…”
You nod, sighing. “It's fine, Soohyuk…Um, as long as it doesn't happen again…”
Soohyuk nods, but you noticed he hesitated. “Yeah okay, of course. Breakfast, then? Before it gets cold.“
You release a breath you didn't know you were holding before following him to the table. “Thank you for cooking…I, uh, I actually don't eat that much breakfast. So, sorry if I don't finish it. It looks good, though.”
He simply smiles at you before you both dig in. After a minute, Soohyuk lowered his fork. “I leave in the afternoon.”
You nod, munching on the muffin - you completely forgot he's leaving on a trip. “Oh, for work, I assume?”
“Yeah.”
You hum. “For how long?” You're pretty sure he told you last night, but it completely slipped your mind - how would you forget something like that?
“Two weeks.”
You raise your eyebrows, realizing you won't be seeing Soohyuk for several days, and it doesn't really worry you as much as you thought so.
Oh.
“Maybe it's too early for it, and I know it's a last minute thing, but…I want you to come with me.” Soohyuk grins, eyes hopeful. “I'll be like…a vacation. Whadya say? I'd love the company…”
Your sigh, feeling bad to turn him down. “I can't. Not just because I have work, but also because you're right, I think it is a bit too early for us…for that.”
He nods, accepting your answer, but the drop in his shoulders signals his letdown. “It was a longshot, but I tried.” He laughs. “Okay, baby. That's fine. But, because the timezones are crazy different, I won't be able to video call as often. But I'll try.”
“That's fine!” You add. “I wouldn't want to keep you up. It's important for your job that you are rested. Texts are fine, y'know…”
“Sure…”
You finish your muffin but when you take a bite of one slice of bacon, Soohyuk puts his fork down again, catching your attention.
“One more thing - technically, two…Could you tell me more about your friend? Namjoon, I think his name was.”
You blink. “Oh,um…yeah, like I said, he's an old friend of mine. We met just before college…We lost contact for a bit, but recently we connected again. Why do you keep asking about him?”
He shrugs, waving it off. “Just curious.”
With a hum, you finish half of the muffin. “And the other thing?”
This time, Soohyuk sighs. “Your neighbor.”
“M-My neighbor? Yoongi?”
Soohyuk purses his lips, not liking how you say his name freely. “Yoongi…How close are you two?”
You laugh bitterly. “As close as the north and south pole. I remember telling you how annoying he is. That doesn't change.” You realize the reason why he must be asking. “Are you…perhaps, jealous?”
Soohyuk scoffs. “Far from it.”
“You don't have to worry about him-”
“What about Namjoon?”
You put your own fork down, unsure how this conversation started to feel like a court room. “You don't have to worry about him either-.”
“I'm not worried…” He says, his voice nearing the point of being irritated, as if he was trying to keep it peaceful. “I just…don't trust them, is all. I know you wouldn't cheat on me.”
Your jaw goes slack, just a bit. “Soohyuk, I…believe me, I never would.” If only he knew that it was certainly impossible for you. “I wouldn't! But, why are you worried about that? I know this is still new-”
“Exactly. “
“And…we're not official yet, Soohyuk.”
He tilts his head, his piercing eyes staring at you, eyes dark and…predatory. “So? There should be respect there. Honesty. It doesn't matter if it's new.”
“You're right, you're right…” You say quickly, trying to dispel any irritation that's obviously growing on him. “Sorry…”
His jaw clenches.
“Do you want this to be official?” You ask.
He pauses. “Do you?”
“I-” You stop, hesitating on giving an answer he would want to hear. “Not yet. I think we should date a bit more.”
“And I'm okay with that.” He says softer this time. He sighs, running a hand down his face. “Sorry, I was a bit…mean. I don't want you to feel like I'm asking for too much…”
“You're not…” You respond, the reassurance falling flat for you.
“Then, I'd feel better if you don't talk to them. Can you do that?”
“Um,” You furrow your eyebrows. “Talk to? Who? Namjoon?”
He nods. “And your neighbor. At least alone, I don't trust them. While I'm gone.”
You want to tell him that Namjoon was taken, that he has nothing to worry about him, but you wanted to be done with this conversation. It was a bit strange, but you agree with his wishes. “Fine.”
Soohyuk smiles, before finishing his food. You push the half eaten plate away. He places the plate into the sink. “I got that.”
He nods. “Thank you, sweetheart. I need to finish packing so I should be on my way.” He disappears into your room, before reappearing in his outfit from yesterday. He presses a kiss to your cheek, hugging you from behind. “I'll talk to you later, yeah? Don't miss me too much.” He smirks.
You force a smile in return. “I'll try. Bye Soohyuk…”
He stops, leaning to face you. “How about you call me oppa?”
You pause, slowly stopping your movements. “Oh? Um, s-sure, if you want…”
“I do.”
As you look up at him, pausing from scrubbing at the plates in the sink, you see Soohyuk's smile. “Have a nice trip, o-oppa.”
“That's better.” He leans down, pressing a kiss to your lips, this one long and you tried to kiss back with the same energy. You're sure Soohyuk noticed, but it appears he doesn't.
Soon enough, Sookhyuk is stepping out of your apartment the moment Yoongi is walking up to his door.
What a coincidence, Yoongi curses in his mind. It would've been fine, if Soohyuk didn't openly smirk in return, and walked off, throwing his jacket over his shoulder, hands in his pockets. Yoongi glares at his own door, jaw clenching as he holds the key in the lock, before they glance at your door, assuming Soohyuk had spent the night. Somebody got lucky.
Yoongi has no right to question it or even wonder - he had a night of drinking with some friends, deciding to stay at their place for the night.
He unlocks his door, immediately finding Namjoon at the table, on his laptop. “Oh, hyung, morning!”
Yoongi mumbles it back, placing his helmet on the hook, and removes his other glove. “Did you happen to hear anything? Last night?”
Namjoon looks confused. “Last night? From…what?”
Yoongi points to the wall, where just on the other side he can practically see you withering on the bed in your pleasure, no trace of Soohyuk because he, Min Yoongi, was the one holding your wrists above your head. He blinks, shaking his head, dispelling the mental image. “Nevermind, nothing! Forget it…I barely slept any so…yeah.”
Yoongi avoids Namjoon's questioning gaze as he goes straight to his room, groaning as he shuts his door. He knows exactly why he's feeling hot and bothered. There's no doubt in his mind that you'd look beautiful that way, but…why did he feel so incredibly guilty just thinking about it?
His stomach churns, the guilt eating away at him, but also feeling confused. Why the hell does he care this much?
He shouldn't.
He doesn't.
Yoongi knows what to do - he just needs to forget about this, you.
What other way does he know best, than to relish in the warmth of another body?
For now, a cold shower is in order.
• ᯽ •
A few days later, Yoongi is shocked to find Namjoon on the couch, a book in his hands, as he comes home late. Again.
“Hey, can't sleep?” He asks, glancing at the digital clock beside the tv. 3:26 AM
Namjoon shakes his head, placing his book face down on his thigh. “Imsomnia.”
“Again? Joonah, just take the pill. You got them for a reason.”
Namjoon sighs. “I know, I know…I will. But, before that, can I ask you something?”
Yoongi takes a seat on the armchair, nodding. “What's on your mind?”
“I'm…worried about you.” Namjoon sighs. “About your…friends.”
So maybe Namjoon, while he was living in America, didn't know Yoongi would spend more time with a certain group of friends that he wouldn't approve of, but- “They're not really my friends, Namjoon.” He says calmly. “They're…acquaintances, coworkers. Y'know, people more…more like me.”
Technically, Namjoon is under the same label, but their style in music is a bit different, although there are some overlaps, hence the most recent project that they are finishing up. Whereas, Yoongi's direct coworkers share the same taste in music. It's what brought them all together at the beginning.
But instead of a blossoming friendship and support system Yoongi hoped to acquire, he got the opposite – a group of people that cared for parties, drugs, alcohol and having a good time.
With the years, Yoongi got comfortable.
Namjoon puts a bookmark on the page, before closing his book. “I get it…But just because you work at Nova together, doesn't mean you're obligated to become friends with them...”
“You should be at Nova, too. I thought it was official, when you moved back?” Yoongi tilts his head.
Namjoon shrugs. “It is, I've been going a few days a week. Mm…There's something I've meant to speak to you about, actually…”
Yoongi sits stiff, elbows on his knees. “About?”
“Hybe emailed me.” Namjoon clears his throat. “The chairman of one of their labels was asking about my experience and position at Nova.”
“They're trying to scout you.” Yoongi nods, dropping his head, already knowing that his friend was considering it.
“Yeah, but it was just one email-”
Yongi scoffs. “Yeah, and there'll be more…Do we need to discuss this now? I'm tired. I had a few beers-”
Namjoon's shoulders drop but he's quick to change gears. “And you rode your bike here?!”
“I was fine to ride!” He puts his hands up. “You know I have a high tolerance…”
“Hyung…”
Yoongi stands, rolling his eyes. “I know what you're gonna say, ‘if they really cared, they wouldn't have let me drive’, but I was fine.” He shrugs. “Besides, I probably burned the alcohol by now.” He smirks alluding to the physical activity that transpires in bed.
Namjoon sighs. “Everytime, Yoongi…When are you going to see that they don't care about your well being?“
Yoongi's smirk drops. “You don't have to worry. Sometimes, I just need…to let loose. I really don't care if they give a crap about me or not. I have you for that, don't I?”
Namjoon stands, a small grin reaching his lips, mimicking Yoongi's own. “Yeah, hyung. But…there's healthier ways to go about that. Letting loose. You know, you can trust me, right? My intention isn't to blame you or make you feel bad. You're my friend and I just want you to know that you can lean on me.”
Yoongi smiles, patting his friend on the shoulder. “Thanks…I appreciate your worry. I'll head to bed now. You should, too, Joonah.” He gives Namjoon a teasing glare before walking down the hallway, towards his room.
“I will. Oh, not sure I told you yet, but I invited Y/n to next week's party.”
Yoongi freezes, turning back around, peering at his best friend. “You did?”
Namjoon nods. “She said she probably won't make it, but I think it'd be nice if she did.”
Yoongi does not want you there. Not because of him, but his acquaintances from Nova that would surely be there. Somehow, he doesn't want you to be involved with that side of him and he doesn't understand why he feels so strongly about it.
He respects your distaste for cigarettes. But just the idea of you being close to that, among other things – even though Yoongi specifically told them that anything harder than cannabis is not allowed in his home – makes his skin crawl.
“Is that…okay?” Namjoon asks, knocking Yoongi out of his thoughts.
“Huh…y-yeah, yeah. Whatever...”
• ᯽ •
It's been five days since Soohyuk left for the states and maybe it makes you feel a bit shallow, but you don't really miss him.
He hasn't video called you – don't expect him too – but he's kept you up to date with texts. They were mostly about asking how you're doing, with his responses sprinkled throughout the day.
And it was all fine and dandy, until last night, he sent you a photo he took of his plate of food at a fancy restaurant. It looked to be Italian, with a glass of wine beside his plate. But what else you noticed that was beside him was the hand that was obviously a woman's hand. It was a dainty left hand, with a wedding band on the ring finger. The photo only showed half of the hand, so maybe he didn't care to hide the hand from view.
Soohyuk: Wish you were here. I'll take you out for Italian when I get back
Was he at a company dinner perhaps? And sitting beside a colleague? The table looked to be circular in shape and from the angle of the photo, the table's circumference looks big.
You sigh as you stand outside your door, resting your hip against the railing – you came outside for some fresh air, after a whole day of reading essays – your eyes are tired. It was late, the chill of the night feels good on your face.
You don't miss Soohyuk, but you miss straying from routine – going on trips, parties, clubs, and raves. Maybe you should have joined him…
It was hard to stop your eyes from returning to that damn photo, unsure of what to think of it. Unfortunately, your mind strays towards the possibility of Soohyuk being unfaithful. But then again, you both aren't official. But it gives you a bit of security that he wants your honesty so why wouldn't he do the same?
The door behind you opens, but you don't pay it mind as you were lost in your mind.
“It's been awhile.”
You freeze, locking your phone screen to look over your shoulder at Yoongi's voice. But the second your eyes lay on him, you can't control as they take him in - he was wearing what looks to be motorcycle clothing - padded jacket and pants, single gloved-hand holding the opposite glove, and a helmet in the other. His hair had grown longer, now tied in a small ponytail at the nape.
God…
You had no idea he had a bike, much less expecting how freaking good he looked right now.
“Um, I guess…I didn't know you had a bike.” You say, without a care, laying your chin on your shoulder. Yoongi puts his hand in the helmet, spinning it, as if it were a basketball.
“I do.” He grins as approaches you. “I had somewhere to be, but I think someone wants a taste of this.”
You blink, turning around fully. “Huh?”
He smiles down at you. “Wanna ride?”
“No.”
He pouts. “Come on. It'll be fun! Have you ever been on a bike before?”
“No.”
He smiles wider now, teeth showing. He started to slip on the other glove – it was getting increasingly harder to stay focused. “No to the ride or no to riding on one before?”
You roll your eyes. “Both.”
He hums. “Just around the block? Come onnn, Y/n. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity…I know you want to…”
“I'd never go on a ride with you “ You cross your arms.
“Not even on my bike?”
Your jaw goes slack at his insinuations, making him chuckle. “I'm sorry! Sorry! I said I wouldn't do that again, but I can't help it.” He bites his lip. “You're cute when you're…surprised.”
You look down. “You said you have somewhere to be-.”
“I just cancelled.”
You chortle. “Wha-you didn't even pull out your phone! How?” You narrow your eyes at him.
He's approaching his door, reaching inside at something on the wall. “Does it really matter?” Yoongi reveals a second helmet, and holds it out for you. “Please? I promise it'll be fun. Besides,” He tilts his head. “You look like you need a distraction.”
You sigh, and laugh when he starts to pout. “Get on your knees and maybe I will.” It was only a joke, fully expecting Yoongi to scoff at your challenge. But to your horror (a mild satisfaction), he lowers himself onto the pads of his knees, looking up at you, with a smirk.
“Oh, my goddd, I'm kidding!” You grip his jacket by the arm to attempt to pull him up. “Get up! God, Yoongi, what the hell?!” He doesn't get up.
“Just showing you how serious I am.”
“Fine! I will!” You look around, thankful that there wasn't anyone else in the hallway as he stands. “You're crazy.”
Yoongi smiles, wider than you've ever seen - and oh. “You know I'm crazy for you but I'll behave, I promise.”
Your stomach flutters but you don't dwell on it for long - overcome with the thrill of potentially being on a bike. It was a once in a lifetime chance. You take the helmet from Yoongi's hands, staring at the shield's reflective surface.
“My bike's in the garage. Let's go?”
Thankfully you were wearing sneakers, as well as a hoodie and joggers so you follow after Yoongi, thinking how crazy this is.
And you didn't feel an ounce guilty for not following Soohyuk's wishes. Seorina had been right when you discussed it with her – his demands (which were exactly what they were) were over the top. Namjoon is your friend and Yoongi is just your neighbor.
And maybe it felt good to be a little rebellious.
You hold the helmet to your chest as the elevator goes to the garage level.
“Don't be nervous.”
You snap your eyes to him. “I'm not.”
He looks knowingly, down to your tapping foot, which you immediately stop.
Once in the garage, you follow Yoongi towards a black bike. You know nothing of motorcycles, only knowing that there looks to be a purple and green shimmer when the lights hit it at an angle. Yoongi places his helmet aside, on the seat.
“Here. Let me.” He steps up to you, taking the helmet from your hands, before helping slide it onto your head. It was snug against your cheek as you watching through the shield as Yoongi focused on strapping it under your chin, making sure it was secure. You practically hold your breath when you feel the occasional brush of his knuckles against your throat, the mere touch of his skin on yours making your skin prickle and heart race. Through the shield, with Yoongi so close, you can see loose strands of his hair and his pinched eyebrows and dark eyelashes as he focuses on tightening the straps.
You hate this man. You hate this man. You hate this man.
You hate…this…unbelievably…hot…man.
Once he's done, he flicks the visor open with a wink. “Good to go.” He chuckles as he takes in your slightly puffed cheeks.
You watch as he picks up his own helmet, swiftly climbing onto his motorcycle. He flicks his chin behind him. “Well? Climb on.”
You take a step closer to the bike, hesitating. “You won't let me fall, right?”
He smiles and this was all very strange. “I won't. As long as you hold onto me.”
Yoongi slips his helmet on, buckling it on before you climb on, ignoring the warning signs in your mind. The moment you realized how close you'd be to Yoongi, practically his backpack, you knew this was a mistake.
But when he starts to move the bike, the engine roaring to life as he speeds out of the garage, you're positive this was a huge - but wonderful - mistake.
You grip onto his jacket on his sides, as you move your head to the side, taking in the moving buildings and trees, the streetlights flashing by. Your stomach tickles and whoops at every turn and dips on the road. It wasn't around the block, but you didn't care.
You were always curious about how people grew to love riding a motorcycle. Now, you understood, the thrill of the speed was addicting.
You don't know how long Yoongi drives for, until he enters a shopping center parking building, the spiral ramp making you a bit dizzy, as he goes to the top, you assume, so you shut your eyes.
It wasn't until you felt a tap on your hand when you realized he had stopped moving. You jump back, quickly uncurling your fingers.
You're not sure why he stopped. You hop off, unbuckling your helmet, pulling it off and adjusting your hair, patting down flyaways as you look around the empty parking lot structure. “Why are we here?”
He steps off, removing his own helmet. Your breath catches in your throat when his bangs fall, framing his face perfectly. “No reason…” He looks out, past the edge of the concrete ledge, allowing the view of the city to be appraised in its entirety, being high up.
You step up beside him, admiring the view – it was truly beautiful. Despite the chill in the air, you didn't feel cold.
You both stay quiet for a moment, just taking in the scenery and the quiet echoes of the occasional passing car. It was almost midnight, but being a Friday night, you were okay with being out late. Never in a million years did you ever think you'd be here with Yoongi.
The silence was deafening but it felt…nice.
“Will you ever tell me the reason why you hate me?”
You don't look at him but you can feel his eyes on you. “You really want to know?”
You can see him nod in your peripheral vision. You drop your gaze down to the street below, looking between two buildings at an alley. As opposed to the one you were looking at, which was clean and well-lit, the one from that night was dingy and dark. You can practically feel the wet and grimey brick being pressed against your cheek, rough hands pulling at your clothing and hand pressing over your mouth so tight your lips hurt.
You blink, shaking your head. “I can't. I-”
“Okay, okay…” His hands came up, when he noticed your hands start to shake and breathing quickened. “You don't have to. I'm sorry…”
You feel tears sprout in your eyes. “I don't entirely hate you as a person, I'm not cruel – are you annoying as hell? Yes.” You pause, hearing him scoff. “I hate what you did. And maybe I'll tell you one day. I don't know when that would be. But I'm just…so bothered that you don't even remember.”
“It's bad, isn't it?” He whispers. You glance at him, nodding.
“When…did it happen?”
You blink away your tears, choosing to not look at him too much. “I didn't know who you were at the time. It was…three years ago.”
“Three?” Yoongi hums. “I had just moved here…If you didn't know who I was, then how-”
You sigh. “Can we…talk about something else. Please?”
“Fine…” He starts, pausing for a moment. “How's your boyfriend?”
“He's not my boyfriend.”
Yoongi looks surprised. “You guys broke up?”
You roll your eyes. “Not that this is any of your business, but we aren't official, okay? Maybe the concept of dating is too foreign for you.”
Yoongi chuckles. “Not as foreign as you think. So, how's the guy?”
His response reminds you of what Namjoon had revealed about him, about this supposed ‘heartbreak' that he experienced. “...fine.”
“It doesn't sound fine.”
“Why are you asking?” You finally look at him, and see him shrug as he leans against the concrete ledge, shrugging.
“Just making sure he's treating you right.”
You plant your hands on your hips “You've said that before. Why the hell would you care about that?”
Yoongi only looks out at the city line - his lack of response was bothering you. The approaching sounds of a siren cut the silence and you assume he waits until the wailing dissipates.
“I haven't seen him around…”
“He's…” The photo was haunting you. “...traveling. In the states.”
He hums. “You miss him.” He states, noding to himself as if it was obvious. “No wonder you're more irritable than usual.” He smirks.
“I'm not-” You turned away from him, his annoying smirk was getting on your nerves. “I do miss him, why wouldn't I?”
“You're lying.” He crosses his arms, after having stepped closer. “Either you're lying to hide the fact that you don't miss him or you don't give a crap about the guy and you're a bad liar."
“Excuse me-”
“Or,” He easily continues. “You guys are over and you're just telling me you two are still a thing just so I'll back off.” He grins when you purse your lips, the glare directed towards him seeming to urge him on. “Hm? Which one is it?”
You don't respond, busy thinking of a way to throw him over the ledge without repercussions.
“Personally, I hope it's the latter…” His voice deepens, stepping even closer but you quickly step back.
“What are you doing-” Your back hits an electrical box, the metal surface cold against your back. You swallow, his stature looming over you, eyes dark and predatory. How he can go from friendly to…hungry, is a mystery. You push against his chest. “Back the hell up, Yoongi.”
He thankfully does, stumbling back with a smile but his smile drops a bit. “Soohyuk…He's bad news.”
You scoff. “Can you stop being jealous of each other? What are you, in third grade? Fighting for who gets the last candy in the basket?!”
Yoongi blinks, chuckling, eye brows raised. “Oh? He's jealous? Of me?!” He laughs louder now, slapping his stomach as his laughs echo around the parking building. “That's rich! Oh, Y/n…” He wipes away a fake tear. “You've made my day.”
“Shut up!” The delicate hand in that photo had started to harbor more suspicion in your head, which would aid in Yoongi judging Soohyuk. “This is the second time you say you don't like the guy, so go ahead.” You gesture for him to talk. “Even though this should be none of your concern. Plead your case. Enlighten me.”
Yoongi's laughs die down, leaving his lips in a grin. He nods. “Alright. Bad vibes.”
You blink, laughing. “That's it? You're going off of a feeling? I didn't know you were capable of those.”
He shrugs, the comment not getting to him. “Sometimes intuition is all I need to see what a man is after. And I'm sure you know what he's after or was after…was."
“What are you talking about?”
Yoongi sighs, feigning pity. “Come on, think about it. You're gorgeous. You look…” His eyes travel down, before snapping back up to your eyes. “Hell, if I didnt have self control…Anyways, don't you know what a man is after? I believe you would call it, a night of passion.”
Your cheeks flare. “He's not. He's been a gentleman-”
“He's playing you.”
You imagine the dainty hand on Soohyuk's, her touch against his hand soft as it glides up his bare arm. And you feel…
Nothing. The irritation comes from Yoongi throwing allegations so easily, as if he knew better.
“All he wants is one thing, and after he gets it, after he sleeps with you, he's gonna dip. Isn't it too much of a coincidence that he's in the states now?” Yoongi smirks.
You look away. “Isn't…isn't that what you wanted, too?”
Yoongi drops his arms. “That's different-”
“How is that different?!” You chortle. “At least Soohyuk has the decency and humanity to get to know me, to spend time with me. To…” You shake your head. “To cherish me. To form a connection before it comes to…that.” You sigh. “Whereas you, Yoongi? All you care for is your own brief pleasure. And that…disgusts me.” You turn away from him. “You'd never understand.”
“You didn't sleep with him…” He whispers in realization and you groan.
“Why the hell is that important?! Why is that something you need? What is it with men nowadays? Why? Is it such a horrible thing that I don't feel the need for sex? I'm not like you, Yoongi, I'm not like everyone else. You assume you can change my mind, but unfortunately, that's not how it works.”
Yoongi was quiet for a moment. “How are you not like everyone else? Sex is…just sex, what are you breaking your brain for? Sounds like you're just being a prude.” He steps closer. “Deep down, I know, you want it. Just let yourself relax. Stop being stuck up.” He rests a hand over your head against the electrical box, looking at you. “Stop being so cruel to yourself. Just…have some fun, for once. What are you scared of?”
You look away, clenching your jaw and then you hear his soft gasp. “Wait, you haven't ever…have you?”
You freeze.
“You're a virgin?”
You shiver him away. “So what if I am? That shouldn't matter.”
And then he starts to laugh. It makes your hair stand, goosebumps raise on your skin, and tears prickle your eyes. He was facing the city, chuckling.
You turn around, deciding to walk away, towards the spiral ramp, your pace fast, wanting to be far away from the bastard.
Of course he wouldn't understand. You berate yourself for agreeing to come here, for letting a single brick of the walls around your heart fall for him. It seems to happen more often now – you have a decent conversation with him, but somehow, he ruins it.
“Wait! Where are you going?!”
You hear the engine of his bike roaring and echoes throughout the structure. You're hugging your upper limbs close, the chill having set in.
Yoongi shows up beside you, the helmets strapped to each other and slung over the back seat. “I'm sorry! I shouldn't have laughed. I was just– I didn't–”
“Just what? Wanted to make me feel worse than I already do?”
He pauses, his voice shifting to a softer tone, apologetic. “I'm sorry…Really, I am. You're right. That shouldn't matter. Though, it's hard to believe…”
“You don't know me, Yoongi. You're projecting yourself in every situation. You don't care to see things my way, because why would you? It's easier for you to just forego emotions and just focus on desires.” You shiver, your fingers and toes starting to go numb.
“You're right, okay? I'm a selfish asshole. Can you please get on? You're freezing.”
You glare at him. “You think I'd get back on with you?”
“Please?” He implores. “Straight home. Or else you'll get sick the longer we're out here. I said I was sorry, alright? I'll never bring it up again. Even though I have…a lot of questions.”
You stop walking, making Yoongi stop a bit aways from you, he backs up the bike to be beside you. “Home. No more stops.”
He nods. You take your helmet, and slap his hands away when he wants to help strap it back on. Once both helmets were secured, and hopped on behind him, he sped off.
The ride back was a blur, mostly due to the tears in your eyes. You were starting to get used to the feeling of anger after your encounters with Yoongi.
But this time, it's worse.
There's no anger. There's no trace of irritation.
There's nothing but despair. Maybe a bit of self-loathing. A sprinkle of existential crisis.
You walk up to your door but a hand on your arm stops you. You don't look his way.
“Honest…I'm sorry.”
He'll never get it. And maybe, for a moment, a fleeting moment, you wanted him to. You sniffle, shaking your head.
Yoongi watches as your lip trembles, the tears cascading down your cheek, before you disappear inside your apartment.
He feels sick.