Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Interlude 

Colin dreamed. He was normal that way, dreaming like a real boy.

He dreamed when he was awake though, which wasn't all that normal. 

The present would gray out and he'd wade deeper, submerge himself in the voices and sights and sounds of different places. Lionel was the most common, shouting and twisting everything, always, and it was always the same, no matter where or when or who. Lionel wasn't ever different.

And for Lin, it had always been this way, and it always would be this way, alternating black and white rooms, bed and lab, blood and chains and stones and sex he tried to pretend wasn't real, wasn't happening, wasn't something his whole damn life centered around. They tied him down like he was nothing, like he wasn't anyone special, so maybe he wasn't, and maybe he wasn't even really that boy who was tied down. Maybe he wasn't real at all. Comfort in that: no matter what happened, he wasn't real, and it wasn't real, and it wouldn't last. He was somewhere else, somewhere downstream, untouchable, a voyeur to his own life. Lin was himself a tower of stones and chains and blood and sex, of fire and sickly green evil. No one and nothing could reach beyond his walls. No one could touch him inside. He wasn't even here. This body wasn't him, clearly wasn't really his. They could do what they wanted with it. They'd made it what it was. Lionel had made it his.

It made no difference to Lin. He wasn't even here.

In dreams, he was real. Those were his, his worlds, and the lives he saw when he closed his eyes were alive only for him, not Lionel or his scientists, and as long as they were all occupied and occupying Lin's body, they couldn't get inside, couldn't ever see what he thought and felt and knew to be true. He could think about them and draw them and paint them all he wanted, and he could destroy them too. 

Dreams of women with red hair, Lillian, most of all, but there were others. He saw a beautiful older woman, older than Lillian ever got to be, and he called her Mom too, kissed and hugged her. Younger women, darker hair, lighter, different face, same face, red, blonde, brown, black, and he looked at her red hair and said, "Lana."

He looked at her black hair and said, "Lana."

Dreaming of other girls, and boys, men, and they grew up sometimes, smiled and laughed and hugged him or cried and pushed him away. Sometimes they ignored him, or he fell over as they passed by. They loved him; they hated him. They tied him up, too. They cut him down. They left or said horrible things or just never understood all the things he tried to say. 

The women with brown hair and biting tongues. They said witty things and looked at him differently, amazed, amused, angry, pitying, hurt, bewildered, and sometimes all he would see was 'I love you' written all over them. They clutched at him, stabbed him with pens, turned away. They came and went and he never knew which was which. Was she the right one? Or her?

Blond men with smiles, blond with sneers, white, black, tall or short, they punched him, laughed, hugged him. Brown hair and blue eyes, human, and he deserved her and appreciated her more than—more than someone did, more than someone Colin wasn't, someone important. Colin wasn't Colin, but he wasn't this other person either.

And then Lex. Colin painted Lex and burned the paintings. He slid under the bed in Lex's old room and hid. He dreamed, and he dreamed of Lex.  

It struck him as ludicrous that no one but Daniel had ever figured out his arrangement with Lionel. No other house staff and not even Mr. Genius Lex. So clever, Lex, and he never even really tried. Lex got burned, once, and that was enough to get him off the trail for good. Julian wasn't nearly as easily misled. A few years more, and he'd either have figured it out or manage to stumble upon them doing something incriminating someday.

Sometimes Lillian felt like a hallucination. Sometimes Lex did. Colin's reality wasn't just this one, now, but it was always so different from those few years of birthday parties and Christmas gifts and hugs and bedtime stories. Everything had changed; the only constant was Lionel.

He regrets quite a lot of what he's done, to his brothers, to those others he sees when he closes his eyes and swims, but he regrets closing his own coffin lid most often. The final nail was Daniel, his last chance to get out. 

When he was 12 years old, Daniel quit, resigned. That in and of itself wasn't all that unique. There was a very high turnover rate at the Luthor mansion, after all.

No, what made this noteworthy was the fact Daniel was scared into quitting, told he'd be ruined or worse if he didn't leave, if he ever said a word to anyone about what he'd seen by accident one day when cleaning. Daniel was threatened, and Colin had threatened him. 

Daniel had been walking down the hall, and out came Colin from Lionel's bedroom. Lionel had left early that morning and hadn't woken him up on his way out. Thus, 8 a.m., and Colin didn't check the hallway. He walked out in pajama bottoms, leaving messed-up linens and that distinctive odor of sex behind him in Lionel's bedroom, and there was Daniel, staring. Colin had simply pushed past him and walked down the hall to his own room. 

Later that day, a knock on the door, and he'd known what to do. No crying, no begging; Colin acted the part, did his duty. He lied and condescended and played it off, and when that didn't work—he pushed Daniel up against the wall of his bedroom and told him that if he didn't leave, Colin would tell Lionel. He'd tell and Daniel would pay.

Daniel said, "I'll call Lex, OK? And he'll- "

And Colin said, "If you say a word to him about any of this, I will kill you myself. I'll slit your fucking throat, Daniel, and they'll never find your body."

Daniel left, and Colin tried to think of it still as him doing his duty, protecting his family, protecting himself, but that was a lie. That was as much a lie as when he tried to tell himself he hadn't really meant it, tried to deny he'd enjoyed scaring Daniel, when he tried to look away from himself and from the fact that he'd gotten hard scaring Daniel and threatening him, at being in control finally. 

He wasn't protecting Julian or Lex. He wasn't protecting himself, certainly. He was protecting Lionel, and that hurt the worst. That was real. That was who he really was. 

But he wasn't even here. He was stone, and he couldn't be moved anymore. He'd walled himself in, and maybe now he'd starve and die. Maybe he'd slip away downstream, stare and stare and just never come back. Death wasn't always something quick. Sometimes it was slow, and maybe it didn't always have to hurt. 

By the time Lex and Chance managed to get to Jameson's townhouse, it was already pushing eight. The street lights were on, showing the lawyer's neighborhood for the clean, green upscale part of the city it was. Number 46.  

Lex knocked, and it was only a few seconds before the door in front of them opened, spilling warm light and spicy smells out into the air. Something had been cooked inside that house recently, and Lex realized he was hungry only when he felt his stomach rumble. He focused on the woman in front of him, and was surprised when she spoke first.

"You're Alexander, yes?" she said in a heavy accent. Lex could tell it was something Eastern European but wasn't familiar enough with the region to know which country. "You have impeccable timing. Rick is dishing out the meal, and I know two boys who will be relieved to see you."

Shifting her eyes over to Chance, she stepped back from the door and opened it wide, inviting them in. Lex went in first and, once Chance had crossed the threshold, held his hand out in order to make introductions. 

"Yes, I'm Alexander," he said, and the woman took Lex's hand to shake with raised eyebrows and a small smile. "Please, call me Lex," he added. Gesturing then at Chance, he said, "This is a friend, Chance Aerson." 

"Ah!" she said, nodding as though that really explained anything. "I'm Raisa, Rick's partner." Reaching out to shake Chance's hand too, Raisa then waved them farther inside. "We held dinner a bit, so you're welcome to come eat. Plenty for everyone. Rick made cassoulet. It's very good," she said with a wink.

The dining room was through a parlor and across a hallway with a few doors. 

It was a lot of walking, talking, and thinking he'd been doing in the last hour, and his head was all but pounding. All the shit from the last few days was piling up, and Lex knew he had maybe another couple hours in him before he crashed.

There was Rick, and then there was Julian, sitting at the table, his face smoothing out once he spotted Lex. Colin had his head turned, but Lex was just relieved to see them both safe, here, in Rick Jameson's dining room, about to eat some homecooking. Lex glanced at Rick, who just nodded and kept dishing out what smelled delicious but looked disgusting. 

Raisa had lagged behind a bit and was whispering in Rick's ear, gesturing a little towards Chance.

"Lex, glad you made it," Rick said the next moment. He pointed at the empty chair next to Colin and said, "Have a seat. And your friend, Chance?"

Lex met his eyes and nodded. 

"Chance can sit over here by me," Rick said, which Lex maybe wouldn't normally find funny but sure did tonight.  

Taking the back of the chair and pulling it out, Lex all but dropped into it. Colin turned then to look at him, blank face on, and Lex smiled at him. Probably more of a grimace, but he tried. 

And Colin ducked his head down to stare at his bowl of Rick's cassoulet, but Lex caught upticked lips and counted it a win.  

After dinner was done and everything cleaned up, Raisa made some kind excuse about having work to do upstairs and left them alone in the parlor. Chance was currently being visually dissected by Rick, while Lian stared questioningly at Lex and Colin managed to curl himself into a surprisingly compact ball in one of Rick's armchairs.

Biting the bullet, Lex said, "Chance helped me at the accident—and after."

"Helped you, huh?" Rick huffed. "Are we doing this here?" he then asked, indicating Julian and Colin.

Lex tilted his head and scoffed then emphatically nodded. "Yeah," he said, "we're doing this. What's on your mind, Rick?"

Rick eyed him and then said, "This smells like a ploy, something your father set up. And whether as a warning or for some other twisted reason, he's- he's arranged all this, and we are falling for it, hook, line, and sinker."

Not once did Rick look or point at Chance, but it was clear to everyone in the room, especially a now red-faced Chance, just who Rick was calling a spy.

"So of course he knows you're all with me," Rick said, "and now how long before some detectives are at my door with a hastily obtained warrant and Raisa and I are being charged with kidnapping?" He took a deep breath, while Lex picked at his fingernails. Then Rick, sighing, asked, "How in the hell can you trust a word this guy says?" 

Lex jerked his head up, his pounding, still-concussed head, and, yep, Rick was finally tossing a thumb Chance's way. "Oh," Lex said, "we're not playing coy anymore? OK, he's not a spy, so please, and I mean this in the nicest, humblest way, fully aware and incredibly appreciative of you and your partner's hospitality: Rick, shut the fuck up."

He could feel Julian's big eyes on him, that timid look the kid got around Lionel, but this wasn't even an issue right now, this having Chance here. A spy? Really? Lex had already been through this. 

"Look," he said, more subdued, "I know when someone is lying to me. You master that pretty quick, living like this, so when I tell you, 'hey, this guy is OK,' please do me the courtesy of believing what I say." Rick had his hands low on his hips, but he didn't look pissed off anymore or like he was about to open his mouth and kick them all out of his house, so Lex hedged his bets. He said, "Chance helped me, and he wasn't lying." A quick glance told him Chance was still looking weirded out, which was a good sign. Meant he wasn't exactly sure what was going on. Lex turned back to Rick. "I trust him. That's all there is to it." 

Rick clearly wanted to respond but admirably refrained. Lex seized the moment and steered it towards Lian and Colin's arrival, and Rick eyed him but played along. 

Then it was all Julian doing his storytelling, about tracking down Rick's address and packing up and getting in a cab and knocking on Rick's door. Rick took over, said they'd knocked while he was cooking, etc. Lex just really wanted to stop moving for a moment and pass out. He was glad they were here, but it was all a bit much. 

Eventually conversation ground to an awkward halt. Rick looked at Lex and then nodded his head at Colin, a silent Colin still curled up with his knees against his chest and his feet on Rick's upholstery.  

Lex felt like he'd flung open all the closed doors and now had to drag his brothers to safety. Their house was burning down around them. Nothing was solved; nothing was over. It'd barely even started. This was all still build-up. Not even this night was over yet. Lex hadn't had to ask Rick or Raisa to stay here, not before they'd offered, but even seeing Chance off and going upstairs—there was getting Lian and Colin into a room and trying to get them to sleep. Had Colin slept at all in the past two days? Lex had probably slept more than he had, and he was running on fumes at this point. No wonder he wouldn't look up. What a weight to be lugging around.

God, Lex was kind of a shitty older brother. Julian was a better older brother, for crying out loud. He'd at least been actively trying this whole time. Lex had thrown in the towel years and years ago.  

Lex rubbed his eyes a little and then looked over at Chance. "Hey, man– " he started to say.

Chance interrupted him. "No, hey, you're tired and, uh, hurt. I'm gonna take off, OK?" He stood up and extended his hand again, and Lex smiled. He got back to his feet, and he shook Chance's hand and then walked with him to Rick Jameson's front door. 

"Uh, here's my number," Chance said then, holding out a piece of paper.

Lex almost made a crack about going to all this trouble just to get the guy's digits, but he was too tired and it wasn't worth it. Instead, he said, "I owe you big time, you know."

Chance kind of smiled. "Nah, no big deal. If I can do anything or, uh, help anymore? Let me know, OK?"

"Yeah," Lex said, still somewhat amazed this dude was for real, "will do. Thanks, Chance."

"Bye, Lex."

And Lex watched him hail a cab and then took a deep breath before closing the door and walking back into the living room. Colin hadn't moved, and Lian was still looking at Lex like he somehow knew all the answers.

Two kids needing him, needing Lex to figure out what they were going to do, where they were going to live, how the hell they'd pay for everything, and looking at Colin still all curled up, Lex saw that tiny little boy from years ago, that freaked out kid who'd still smiled and laughed and giggled and blushed, who'd hugged him and given him presents. Lex can remember thinking to himself, looking at Colin when he'd first been introduced, thinking and realizing, 'He looks just as lost and alone as I am.'

Still lonely.  

Rick showed them around upstairs. Colin and Lian took the room at the end of the hall, and Lex was across the way, closer to the master. 

Lex waited and surreptitiously watched his brothers clean up for bed. Julian combed his hair. Adorable. Colin brushed his teeth right-handed, facing away from the mirror, and Lex thought a therapist should be pretty high up on the to-do list.

But, for how exhausted he felt, his eyes heavy and burning, Lex couldn't fall asleep. Didn't even think he really managed to doze off. Just kept staring up at the ceiling of Rick and Raisa's guest room and worrying. 

About two-thirty, and Lex startled awake—awake!—at the sound of shouting close-by. Wailing, he thought, right before he jumped out of bed and yanked his door open. Out in the hall, the door to Julian and Colin's room was open, and Lex ran in to Julian on his way out. Out in the hall, Lex caught him by the arms and pulled him close. Asked, "What is it?"

"He's crying," Lian said into Lex's chest, and from the feel of it, Colin wasn't the only one crying. 

Moving closer to see, Lex kept Julian close, but something in his stomach sank in dread when he did finally get to the doorway. 

Creepy, terrifying, Julian shaking in his arms, and Lex was a stranger witnessing Colin immobile on the bed. Still, unmoving, he reacted like he was hit, a loud grunt as though someone had punched him, whines, whimpers, a yell for something or someone, mangled by sleep, but Colin wasn't thrashing or kicking like a nightmare. His hands were down by his sides, and he was flat on his back. Looked like a corpse, pale, sweating, crying, and Lex gave Julian a quick squeeze before untangling himself and walking into the bedroom.

"Colin," Lex tried, not whispering but not yelling. Didn't want to jostle him awake, either. "Lin," he tried. "Lin, wake up; it's OK. Hey, Linny," Lex said right after a particularly heart-rending whimper, "hey, come on, wake up. Wake up. Open your eyes for me, Lin. Can you do that? Please wake up."

Lex had his hand about an inch from Colin's shoulder, when he stopped. Lex looked, and Lin's eyes were open, were on Lex. 

"Hey," Lex whispered. Tear-tracks on his face, Colin frowned and looked around. "Had a nightmare," Lex said, kind of hoping to start a conversation because that wasn't a normal nightmare. Lex knew from nightmares, and that was something else. Trauma, flashback, something he felt he had to hear, like that would somehow exorcise it. Stupid.

"Lin?" Julian asked, coming up close now. He didn't hesitate where Lex had, just climbed back into bed and invaded Colin's space. 

"Sorry I woke you," Colin mumbled. He pulled Julian close, kind of hugging him, and Lex felt outside for a second, like the help.

Then he turned and took the chair with Lian's bag on it, set the bag down on the floor, and pulled the chair up next to the bed. He pretty much collapsed into it, lifted his feet up onto the bed, and leaned his head back against the headrest. Eyes closed, Lex felt their eyes on him and said, "Too tired to move."

And he slept. 

Breakfast was tense, which Lex had expected, honestly. What pushed it outside the norm was his father's absence. Usually Lex only really felt off around his father. This time, it was Colin, and it wasn't just Lex feeling the tension. Every hour just raised the stakes, as they moved further away from Lionel, and no one risked more than Colin. He'd been the one hurt worst, and he would undoubtedly be the one everyone scrutinized. The media was going to hound him mercilessly.

But no one stood to gain more than Colin either. 

Lex needed to get himself a new phone today. He figured Lionel knew about the crash by now, as the old man was listed as Lex's emergency contact, and the authorities surely would have attempted to contact him following the accident. His poor car had been totaled. Lionel likely already knew that too though.

Without a phone, therefore, without that same means of communication he'd had for years, it wasn't until he walked in on Lian watching the news, the news, for Christ's sake, that Lex learned a certain someone was being reported as having fucking returned from the dead. 

Perfect timing as always, Bruce.

Where to even begin? Lex leaned in the doorway of Rick and Raisa's living room for a good 5 minutes debating whether he even ought to attempt to reach out and reconnect. He wondered if Bruce would even try. He certainly hadn't before leaving.

None of this would likely surprise the jerk. Bruce would just barely smirk and say something unnervingly astute about the proceedings, and then Lex would kiss him and punch him right in his beautiful face for just disappearing like that. Suddenly, everything was simultaneously better and worse.

Was this what hope felt like? Terrifying and electrifying. 

Maybe Lex would take Lian and Colin and flee to fucking Gotham. Bruce would let them stay there. He wouldn't say no if he didn't invite them. Lian could go to school, safely away from their father, and Lex and Bruce would figure out how to bring Lionel down.

And Colin: Lex would give that kid whatever he needed. Let him decide what he wanted to do. He was undoubtedly smart enough he could probably just test out of high school.

Afterward, after Lex figured he'd pretty much managed to wrap his head around the fact his whole life had imploded in the last three days, he found Colin sitting on the bed in Rick's guestroom, drawing. 

Lex approached the bed, dragging that same chair close again.  

"Hey, I might have some good news," Lex said, trying to hide his own emotions. "Bruce is evidently back in the country. I'm gonna try and get ahold of him. See if maybe he can, uh, help us." 

Colin didn't stop drawing; his hand didn't even stutter, but Lex thought he caught something in the slight curve of his mouth. He just wasn't sure if it were an uptick or a sneer.

Pencils today: Colin was using regular old graphite pencils and was currently doing some kind of strategic smudging with his fingertips. Shading? Adding those final small touches that would take it from two-dimensional sketch to eerily accurate reproduction.  

So much of his work was gone now, destroyed, pulp and ink sinking into the bushes and grass back at the house.  

And like his memories of their mother forever tinged blue and cold with depression and cancer, Lex now realized that in every mental picture he had of Colin as a kid always lurking just out of frame was something, someone, sinister. Every single tiny happy moment they two had shared was now colored, fucking shaded and smudged and drenched in that godawful red ink because Lex's family nostalgia was actually Lin's—prolonged abuse.

Who does that? Who looks at a child and– and does that? For years?

Lex had known for a very long time that his dad was not nice like a lot of other people. He wasn't nice to Lex, and he wasn't always nice to Lex's mom. 

He sat near Colin now in Rick Jameson's guestroom, and some part of him still couldn't quite bridge the gap between knowing his dad was mean to him in public and at home, was mean to Mom, ruthless and underhanded professionally, with their shared reality now and the proof that Lionel Luthor had been raping and abusing his adopted son for years.

God, Lex didn't want to know how long it'd been happening, but he did. He felt sick, but he wanted to know when it had started. He wanted to know what the hell he'd been doing at the time and what had been so goddamn important that he hadn't noticed or even cared.

The whole time, Colin  was alone, suffering and putting on a brave face for the sake of protecting them, Lex, Julian, and—Lionel. And Lex had hated him for it. Trying to survive, trying to keep it quiet, and Lex tossed the kid aside.

Lex couldn't see straight for all the rage that pulsed through him. He hated, hated, hated, and it wasn't all at Lionel, not even close. 

Lex blinked and realized he'd leaned closer to Colin, had reached out and now had his hand hovering near Colin's slumped right shoulder.

Colin looked up right then of course, his eyes landing just to the right of Lex's, not quite making contact, and Lex felt like a fool, but he wasn't a coward. He put his hand on Lin's shoulder, and there was no startled flinch or move away.  

Lex wouldn't say Colin looked particularly happy or sad at the gesture, but he didn't shrug him off or anything.

It wasn't a happy moment, but it was—something real. 

"Wow," Lex said, and already he was regretting making this call, and already he hated the shit pouring out of his mouth, "I'm amazed you actually answered. And here I thought I'd been given the runaround for three goddamn years. Lo and behold, he lives."

There was an audible sigh, and then it was Bruce's voice again.

It was Bruce again, alive, over the line, within, perhaps, reach. Lex had missed him; he still missed him. 

"I understand why you're upset," Bruce said, "but I promise I had my reasons." A pause then, as loud and careful as any of Bruce's real words, and next Lex could hear the smile in his voice as Bruce said quietly, "It's good to hear your voice."

Christ. How was he supposed to remain unmoved against that? 

"Yeah, well try to keep that in fucking mind the next time you decide to just up and disappear. Some people missed you, asshole—like Alfred."

Bruce chuckled, and Lex felt like his face had split wide open, he was grinning so big. 

The Julie was an upscale restaurant located approximately ten blocks west of the Jamesons' house and thus completely on the other side of Metropolis from Luthor Plaza and Lionel. They'd agreed on two in the afternoon. No chance of running into crowds or any of his father's business associates.

"May I help you, sir?" a voice asked.

Lex kept his eyes scanning the dining room but replied to the maître d', "Yes, Wayne: party of two. I'm not sure if he's arrived yet."

"Yes, of course, sir," the older man said, abruptly and hilariously more obsequious and obliging. "Right this way, Mr. Luthor." He turned and began walking through the restaurant.

Finally, the maître d' took a left around a corner, and there he was, Bruce fucking Wayne, looking polished and suave as he stood up and buttoned his suit jacket. Lex waited until the headwaiter had politely nodded and even bowed before excusing himself, and then he looked Bruce right in the eyes, and said, "Hi." It didn't come out sounding breathless like he'd expected.

Sounded snippy, truth be told. 

Lex pulled out the chair across from Bruce's and plopped down. Bruce followed a beat later. 

He was all but smiling, the asshole. He stared as Lex took a drink of water and asked, "Are you going to slap me?"

Lex didn't roll his eyes, but Bruce's eyes crinkled like he knew Lex wanted to. Lex said, "No, I'm not going to slap you. I assure you, Mr. Wayne, I still possess a modicum of dignity and self-control." And now Lex was pretty sure even a stranger would call the expression on Bruce's face happy. "If anything," Lex said, bewildered and shocked and relieved and so goddamn happy himself, "I'd like to punch you right in your gorgeous mouth, but we're in public." He glanced around. "Technically."

Bruce nodded his head solemnly, but Lex wasn't fooled. 

"God, I missed you," Lex said, and this time it was breathless, a whispered confession, but Bruce wouldn't mind. If he understood at all, he'd probably get a kick out of Lex pining for him all these years.

Bruce shifted in his seat, crossing his legs under the table and sitting back in his chair. He met Lex's eyes again.

Lex was a sucker for eyes, for Bruce's eyes. 

Bruce said a lot more with his eyes than he did with his mouth. Case in point:

Bruce's mouth asked, "Shall we order?" and he raised a hand to beckon a waiter.

His eyes said he was still sad and messed up but better too somehow. They said he was still lonely and awkward.

His eyes staring at Lex and crinkling said he missed Lex too, and that was something tiny and good in an ocean of misery.

It was a truth that helped keep Lex calm when, midway through the meal, they finally got around to addressing the pressing issue of Lex's family imploding. 

"So catch me up on where you are with your father," Bruce said without his usual tact.

Lex was sure he flinched. At least Bruce had waited until they'd finished eating.

"Astute as ever," Lex said to his nearly empty wine glass. He'd had two glasses already and couldn't rationalize another. It was barely three in the afternoon, and it wasn't like he could just drop everything and get shitfaced on his own time anymore, stumble into class without doing any of the readings, bullshit his way through another perfect response paper or hijack the entire lecture.

Lex missed school, missed his life a week ago. Less.

Bruce was silent for a long time, long enough for Lex to glance up at him.

Bruce was looking away, eyes on the window across the dining room but also far away. Maybe he was back wherever he'd been the last few years. "Can't say I'm glad, but at least you know now." He looked—contrite, apologetic.

Lex felt his face contort. Was he smiling? It probably looked awful; it wasn't a happy smile.

"Don't feel bad," Lex said to Bruce quietly. He went back to staring at his wine glass. "I wouldn't have listened even if you had tried to tell me." Lex huffed, sickly amused. "Probably knew instantly, didn't you? God, it was right fucking there. He drew it, for fuck's sake. We looked at that sketchbook together, and I still didn't get it."

"Before that, actually," Bruce said suddenly, and something in his voice had Lex jerking his head up to stare at him, mouth open, eyes wide.

He was shocked because Bruce's voice was strange and painful, and Bruce's face was visibly—wrecked. Just for a moment, maybe ten seconds, Lex looked at Bruce, and someone other than Bruce Wayne™ looked back. 

"Before you met him?" Lex asked, bluntly, rude, harsh. He couldn't catch himself in time to smooth the words, make them less angry, make them gentler.

Bruce shook his head. "No, just right there in the entryway."

Lex huffs again, disgusted with himself, angry at Bruce and angry at himself for being angry with Bruce.

"His eyes," Lex said, guessing.

Bruce nodded. "His eyes," he said. "I look in the mirror, Lex. . . "

And didn't that explain it. Bruce's own trauma was taboo. Everyone knew about it, but no one, including Bruce and Alfred, ever even referred to its existence. It was a black hole. So of course it made sense that if Bruce had recognized something in Colin he himself struggled to hide and ignore and move past that he wouldn't talk about it. Ever. To anyone. Especially not to Lex.

Lex couldn't look at Bruce right then. He was so full of awful, nasty things that he thought if he weren't careful he'd scream and flip the table, make a mess of this place like he had of everything else.

Once, back at Excelsior, a teacher filed a complaint, made a formal request that the Dean take a more active interest in the 'unhealthy and potentially damaging' home lives of so-called 'at-risk' students. Lex had liked that teacher up until that point, when he'd been lumped into the category of 'at-risk' student and suddenly called into the Dean's office to defend his shitty father from the prying eyes of the shitty school he was forced to attend. He'd endured a relatively short meeting with the Dean, who'd zeroed in on Lex's 'condition' and whether or not he was being bullied and hadn't, thankfully, dug any deeper.

Bruce, Lex knew, had been another student called in, and he'd always wondered what all the Dean had tried to discuss, tried and likely failed, knowing Bruce.

Bruce wasn't always calm. He hadn't always been so contained and practiced. Bruce flipped out. He'd once punched a kid in American History, just stood up and slugged him right in the jaw. And Lex had heard things about him when they'd first started rooming together. It wasn't all true, probably not even half of it, but some was.

Bruce had been required to see a therapist for awhile. Lex could remember his weird schedule the second part of their junior year, Bruce trying to fit in archery three times a week when it directly conflicted with his 90-minute sessions over in the Health Services building. 

Lex caught himself wondering if Bruce were capable of feeling happy. He'd sometimes seemed content way back when, every once in a great while, but Lex had never seen Bruce happy, thrilled, excited.  

Sounded familiar. Hadn't he been thinking how similar Bruce and Colin were? Now he knew why. 

"Are you guys at a hotel?" 

Right. Back to the Luthor Shitshow. 

"No," Lex said, "they're at Rick's house: our, uh, lawyer."

"Good," Bruce said, clenching and unclenching his right hand.

One guess what that gesture signaled. 

"We're ok for now. Colin's—not, but that's. . . "

Lex shrugged, and Bruce grimaced. 

"I wish. . . " Lex said, but he lost the thread, lost his train of thought. "I guess we just have to get through it." He swallowed heavily.

In his peripheral, he saw Bruce unclench his hand and lay it flat on the table.

Then Bruce said, "Well, you're not alone," and that just about had Lex tearing up.

Lex smiled, just about. 

Bruce wanted to go with Lex back to Rick and Raisa's house. He wanted, had asked, to be involved as they moved ahead with—matters.

He said to Lex, as he signed the check at The Julie: "Don't think this makes us even."

Lex frowned. He said, "What?" completely baffled as to what kind of debt he could've possibly incurred.

Finishing his signature with a tight slash, Bruce said, "I still owe you."

Then he looked up, met Lex's eyes again, stole his heart again. Bruce burst into his life, occupied it almost exclusively, and then he vanished. He always did that, and now here they were, right back where they'd started.

Lex felt something unsettling slither down into his gut, something not guilt or shame but related, but he also relaxed for the first time in days. And he smiled a tiny smile for this man he was still, God help him, besotted with.

Lex said to Bruce, this Bruce, his Bruce, "You sure do, handsome," and he watched Bruce hand off the bill to their waiter whose eyebrows were very deliberately not raised to his hairline.

Lex wanted to kiss Bruce, but he couldn't. So much had changed, and kissing was probably one such thing. It maybe belonged to the life Lex used to live and had now given up, the life of that stupid shit who'd still wanted his dad's approval and resented his brothers.

Bruce offered to drive to Rick and Raisa's fine townhouse. He didn't speed. He boringly observed all the rules of the road, and it took them impossibly longer to reach the lawyer's house than it would have if Lex had been behind the wheel. 

On the street, Bruce parked behind a blue Supra, and together they walked along the sidewalk and climbed the steps. Lex rang the doorbell, suddenly awkward and uncertain, but it wasn't his house or apartment. He was a customer of sorts, wasn't he? They were paying guests, like a bed and breakfast: the Luthor boys and their father the monster. That realization dragged Lex right back down to earth. 

Julian opened the door, and his face was open and surprised, and maybe Lex was projecting, but he thought he caught Lian glancing between him and Bruce a little, just somewhat, judgmentally.

Lex asked, "Is it just you here?"

Julian stepped back and pulled the door open wider. He shook his head.

Colin, Lex inferred. Raisa had her job and Rick his, and they couldn't be expected to just put their whole lives on hold for three random kids, when all of them were damn well old enough to look after themselves. Lex walked inside and felt suddenly exhausted. There went his good mood entirely.

Then he felt awful again. What right had he to be feeling good at a time like this? He really was selfish.

Bruce slowly followed Lex inside, and Lian shut the door softly behind them. He said, "Uh, hi, Bruce."

"Hello, Julian," Bruce said. "Good to see you again. Is your brother around?"

"Uh, yeah," Lian said, "he and Mr. Jameson are in his office."

Lex blinked. Of course. Right. He didn't look at Bruce.

"It's this way," Lian said, gesturing to the right and then taking off that way down the hall.  

It wasn't mahogany or designer, but the door to Rick's office was similarly shut, and behind it was a Colin Lex wasn't eager to engage with. Lex was overcome with déjà vu. 

He moved forward and opened the door. Rick was sitting behind his desk, but he stood up and came around to meet them. Lex looked for Colin and found him sitting in the corner, as far away from the other chairs and the desk as he could get and still be inside the room. He had his feet on the floor and his hands in his lap, and he looked calm and collected with just the tiniest tilt to his mouth, but Lex knew now that smooth exterior was a tell. 

It reminded him of someone too, that near unflappable calm, icy and vaguely sneering.

Lex made the introductions between Bruce and Rick.

The two shook hands, and Bruce said, "Mr. Jameson." Rick just tilted his head and almost-smiled.

Lex chose the middle seat in front of Rick's enormous desk covered in neat stacks of paper and a multitude of sticky notes. Bruce was at Lex's left, but Lian kind of hovered near, not sitting down but not moving away.

He was, Lex realized a moment later, splitting the difference between him and Colin. And no one had spoken to Colin yet. Lex hadn't thought to make introductions between him and Bruce. He should have. Now he was just ignoring him; they all three were. But now it was too late.

They all sat down, all except Julian, and Lex couldn't decide if he'd heard voices before he'd opened the door. Had Rick and Colin been talking? What about? What if they hadn't? What did it mean that Colin would just voluntarily sit down here silent in a corner- ?

"Good to meet you," Rick said to Bruce.

Lex looked up, and Rick was assessing Bruce. He seemed oddly pleased where with Chance he'd been openly hostile, and Lex didn't know what to make of that, as he himself had vouched for both. It surely wasn't a money thing, and Bruce's reputation was pretty much permanently shot. Lex side-eyed him a bit, searching for what a relative stranger might see.

Bruce looked serious, composed. He wasn't the playboy today.

Rick said, "I understand from Lex that you two go back a ways."

Bruce nodded, and Rick slowly nodded back.

Julian chose that moment to finally park it in the chair to Lex's right. They were silent, and it probably wasn't Lex's imagination that the four of them were consciously not looking at Colin sitting straight-backed alone in the corner like. . . 

"So, Lex," Rick asked, "where should we start?" He had a look on his face.

Snarky bastard. He just loved goading Lex.

Bruce just jumped in. He said, "Well, I'd like to know how you're building the case, first of all." Bruce glanced at Lex. "Not the specific charges, necessarily, but what kind of manpower are we talking here? How wide a net are you going to cast?” He paused, swallowed, and Lex might almost think him nervous. "This isn't your typical defendant, I'd wager."

Rick huffed. "No, not even close," he said. He sighed and rubbed at his chin. "As I understand it- " he began.

But suddenly they were all looking at Colin because he interrupted Rick. He asked, "Why don't you ask the plaintiff, Bruce?" 

Lex felt sick again. He looked at Colin, at the expression on his face and then quickly turned his head away. That sneer and the glint in his eyes and the way his voice curled around every syllable freaked Lex right the hell out. It startled him badly, and his gut reaction was to flinch, recoil. He wanted to bolt from the room.

It was strange. He'd fight his dad. He always fought his dad: lift his chin and snarl right back. This wasn't his dad though. This was Colin pretending to be Dad. How could Lex fight him through Colin? He sat over there smirking at them, cool and collected and cruel.

Lex thought, Well, he did learn from the best. 

Lex was still looking away. He actually thought he might be sick if he had to look over at Colin and see him acting like that.

Bruce didn't immediately say anything and neither did Rick. What was there to fucking say? Lex was speechless. Not the first time, but it was still rare he couldn't snap back.

Julian was fidgeting next to Lex, and Lex wanted to reach out, grab the kid's hand. 

Then Colin stood. From his peripheral, Lex saw him stand and straighten his shirt, like Dad, like Lionel adjusting his cuffs just before he slung the final barb.

Sure enough, Colin said, "That's what I thought." He took a couple steps closer, to Bruce, to Lex, to Rick, maybe even to Lian, and he said, angry, biting, "You care now only when it's convenient for you. Don't expect me to be glad or thankful for help I never, ever, asked for." Then he left. Again. He didn't slam the door this time either. 

Interlude

He'd seen that coming. Hadn't Lex? As if Lin weren't freaked enough, Lex brought Bruce here? He's just been gone a long time. He doesn't know him, anymore. After Lin had vanished, Bruce and Mr. Jameson immediately started asking Lex questions about where he could have possibly gone.

They didn't ask Lian.

He wasn't stupid or naive. He knew some of what had happened to Lin. . . more than Lex, he would bet. Who took care of Lin when he felt awful? Who talked to him, and sat with him, and laughed with him? Who held him when he cried? For Lin did cry sometimes. Not often, not every day or week, or even every month. . . but Lin cried, and Lian was who he came to when he did. . . or who found him. Lian. Not Lex or Bruce.

And he understood why Lin was angry at Lex. They had been so close when Lian was young. And sometimes, sometimes he remembered them like he thought other kids might think of their parents. Lin and Lex were his mom and dad. They had looked out for him, and put him to bed, and taught him things. . .

. . . and now Lex seemed to have forgotten how to even talk to Lin. Lin wasn't any different than he'd ever been, so why couldn't Lex just. . . be like he used to be?

And he knew where Lin had gone now; he just couldn't believe Lex didn't. Just another thing he's forgotten. But he couldn't really feel that angry at Lex. Sometimes Lian, too, wondered what life would be like if he weren't a Luthor, if he lived with a different family, and had a real mom and dad and nice friends and. . .

But he did have a dad, didn't he? An evil monster of a father.

Everyone was always telling Lian he was smart, intelligent. Sometimes they even said he was genius. And Lian loved to read. He tried to read a little of everything: literature books, science and history books, books on mathematics and space, society and culture. Once, he'd even finished a huge book on manners and high class customs. It was boring, but, with his family, he figured that stuff might be useful to know. In the science books, there were anatomy sections. And in the literature books, there were sometimes parts that talked about. . . abuse, and-- and sex. In one novel, the main character was a girl who'd been. . . molested and beaten by her new stepfather. And Lian had had a hard time reading that one. He wasn't stupid; people said he wasn't. And he knew a lot of things, more than all the other kids in his class.

And he knew what had happened to Lin.

And Lian knew who had done it.

Dad had done to Lin what that girl's stepfather had done to her. And he'd done it for years. To Lin. To Lian's best friend, to his brother and protector.

But by the time Lian had realized what was going on it was too late. He couldn't do anything; he couldn't help.

One time, when he and Lin were lying on the couch watching a movie, Lian had sucked up all his courage and asked his brother a question. He'd asked him why he was so sad all the time. Colin had  looked at him for a long moment, and then he'd said, "Because I know what the world is really like. And I know my place in it." And that was it. He'd left the room soon after that, and Lian had never mentioned it again.

Truth was. . . Lian was scared. Oh, he was so scared about it. He was terrified that one day he'd go to find Lin and his brother wouldn't be there. He was scared that he'd find Lin's dead body in the bathroom again, only this time Lin wouldn't come back.

But most of all Lian was ashamed, because his worst fear. . .

. . . his worst fear was that someday Dad wouldn't want Lin anymore. He'd want Lian.

And, God did it make him feel horrible to think that, to worry about it. But-- but he couldn't make himself do anything to help. Lian was scared of his dad, and always had been. He tried every day to do everything he thought would make Dad proud of him. He tried to never make a mistake, never talk back or cause any trouble. In his head, Lian imagined himself as a ghost-mouse whenever his father was near. Lian tried to disappear.

But he hated him. He hated his dad. Dad had done that to Lin, and he had been doing that to Lin for years! Up until a few days ago, and. . .

And Lian wanted so badly to stand up to him and say all sorts of mean and true things to him, but he couldn't. He was just so scared. Lian was just too weak; he was just a ghost-mouse.

And he did understand how Lex could have missed. . . it, could have missed what was happening to Lin. Lex was sent away from them. Lex went to some far away boarding school, and he hardly ever came home. Lian guessed it must have been nice wherever he was. He'd used to wish that he could go there and be with Lex. And Bruce. And not have to be a Luthor anymore.

But then Lin would be alone. Alone with only Dad, and that was worse than being totally alone. Dad was mean and cruel and he said nasty things to Lin all the time. Little brief words and sentences that made Lin turn white, and sometimes Lian could tell his brother was holding back tears.

Julian couldn't stand up to Da-- to Lionel, but he would be damned if he'd abandon Lin. Never. He would never forget Lin. Lian would always know how to talk to Colin. He would always remember, always.

And Lian was really happy that Lex was back, and even that Bruce had come back, too. But most of all, he was just glad that Lin was away from. . . Lionel. No more of that. Lin wouldn't have to do that anymore. Like that girl in the story, only worse cos it was real. Poor Lin. If he were here now, Lian would have hugged him, he would have! And maybe if he'd done that, shown Lin that he cared, then his big, brave, strong brother wouldn't have run away to the cemetery. If only he'd had the courage to say, "Screw the rules! Screw LIONEL and 'proper conduct!'" and had just hugged his brother, whom he loved more than anyone in the whole world. . . maybe then Lin wouldn't have used his talents like that in front of people who didn't understand, and. . . gone to their mother.

They were all still talking, loudly, and they were all still ignoring Lian. They thought he was stupid. They thought he was naive and didn't know what was going on, he'd bet. But he knew. He was smart, everyone said so. Even Lionel said so, and he never complimented anyone! And Lex said it, though he'd seemed to have temporarily forgotten that at the moment. Lex was always telling him how wonderful and amazing he was, and Lian believed he really meant it, for even though Lex was oddly forgetful at times, and had been gone a long time, he never lied to Lian. Never. If Lex said it, then it was true. When Lex said he loved you, he meant it. So, when he told Lian he was smart, Lian knew it was true. Plus, he'd already kinda figured that out. None of the kids at school had read Nietzsche. . . and liked it.

So, they weren't going to ask Lian where he thought Lin might be. Fine. He knew, and he also knew two other important facts. One, Lionel had no idea where Lin had gone, and never had, in all the years Lin had been going there, and so his brother was safe. And two, Lin would come back when he was. . . done. Lin always came back.

In a few hours, Lin would 'suddenly' be back in his room, and Lian swore that when he was, he would get a big hug and cuddle. Lian would go up there and tell him he loved him, and hug him and let him cry if he wanted to, and he would never tell a soul if that's what Lin wanted. He owed Colin that much.

***

A sense of calm understandably eluded him upon Colin's. . . disappearance. . . from the office. Soon after, Julian excused himself, and when Raisa interrupted them for dinner at seven, Lex realized two things. First, guessing when Colin would return was useless, as was his destination. By all rights, Lex, being such an exemplary brother, should have known these things already. And the second point of his epiphany that night came after all of them including Bruce had sat down for the evening meal, and Lex was able to take in Lian's expression. He'd not only managed to anger Colin so badly the kid had literally rushed off, and hours later was still gone, but he'd also somehow insulted Lian, as well. In fact, Julian seemed nearly as angry at Lex as Colin had been. Well, angry for Lian, which meant a lot more glaring and sighing, and much less looming, fist-clenching, and. . . whooshing. And Lex again had no idea as to why. It was fast becoming a theme.

No one ate very much at dinner, though Raisa's meatloaf was by far the best Lex had ever tasted. Colin's absence at his side made him feel even shittier. Bruce sat where Chance had the previous night -- God, only last night? -- and Lex swore he could feel everyone's scowls and bad moods pressing in upon him, choking and silencing him.

Bruce didn't stay long after that. The three of them helped Rick and Raisa with the cleanup, and as Lian slumped back up the stairs to his room, Bruce made Lex swear he would call the minute Colin showed up. Sure, he'd call. . . if Colin ever did come back. At that moment, Lex wouldn't have blamed his brother if the kid decided to just cut his losses and really disappear. Everything was going so wrong. But then Lex remembered Colin and Julian's mutual devotion to each other. Colin would never abandon Lian, and who knew Colin better than--

Jesus, he was an idiot! All the pieces started to fit together in some sense of order, and Lex fully realized that his mistake, as well as Bruce's and Rick's, had been one he himself had often been subjected to as a kid. People assumed that because you were young and small you were also naive and completely oblivious. If anyone should have recognized what was going on it should have been him, should have been Bruce. Lex would wager that Lian knew exactly where Colin had gone, and because no one had even attempted to ask him, little Lian retaliated by not volunteering the information. Which also meant that Colin was in no real danger. . . wherever he was. . . for Lian would put his brother's safety above his own pride, Lex was sure of it. So it was simply a matter of patience and tact. . . something that as of late seemed to have completely abandoned Lex.

He went upstairs to apologize to Lian later that night, but it was only to find him asleep in Colin's room. He was lying on his stomach with his head resting on one arm, while the other hung over the side of the bed. It seemed to be a habit of his, as Lex had found him like this just the other night in the hotel. With the dim light from the hall shining on him, and the little bit of moonlight coming in through the window, Lian looked so incredibly young and vulnerable. . . so small. He was still dressed in trousers and long-sleeved shirt, though his shoes had been kicked off at some point, and looked to have simply collapsed on top of the unmade bed. The bulky comforter gave the impression of trying to swallow the boy.

Lex gently maneuvered the wayward arm back onto the bed, and then moved the chair that sat in front of the fireplace over to the window. From here he could look out on the street below, and, hopefully, sitting here would allow Lex to look for Colin's return, as well as guard Lian's sleep. That was the plan, anyway. . .

***

. . . he was awake suddenly, and confusion as to where he was, and when it was, immediately set in. Where was-- in Colin's bedroom, and Lian would be on the--

As Lex turned his aching neck over to look at the bed, he expected to see his youngest brother still asleep on the bed. However, his heart nearly stopped when he spotted a large shadow bending over Julian's prone form.

Hey!" he shouted at the figure, as he jerkily ran over to the other side of the room to turn on the light. His left leg had fallen asleep and he was having a hard time coordinating his legs, but he had just about made it, when his ears picked up a low voice murmuring.

"It's okay, now, baby boy. Don't you even think on it, anymore. Nothing's ever going to hurt you while there's still breath in my body. I swear nothing will hurt you. You'll be just fine and happy, won't you?"

Lex finally hit the light switch, and was shocked at the sight before him. By the time he'd made out what was being said, the identity of the person saying it became obvious. It was Colin's appearance that gave Lex a cold sense of dread, however. He was drenched and covered in mud and bits of grass. Leaves stuck out of his long, tangled hair and his pants and shirt were in shreds. But as Lex slowly circled towards the foot of the bed, he felt his heart break just a little more as he finally got a good look at Colin's face. Desolation. Broken. Beaten down. His brother's expression held all those things, and yet nothing at all. It was as though Colin were here, physically in this very room. . . but he was really still gone. Still wherever he'd run to, and what was standing over Julian, hand tracing over his face in midair, was just some ghost, some facsimile of Colin Luthor. Just a small part of the whole. Broken.

"Colin," Lex said, daring to break the strange suffocating aura in the room. He inched closer to the wet boy, and as he was just raising a hand to lay down on the shoulder closest to him, Lex found himself being looked at by two sets of eyes. Only Colin's eyes had moved, his head still angled down towards Julian, while Lian was turning over into a sitting position on the bed.

"I'm tired, Lex," Colin said quietly, still looking out of the corner of his eye at Lex.

Shifting his eyes from Colin to Lian on the bed, Lex saw his youngest brother ever-so-slightly nod at him, and Lex had to agree. Colin didn't appear to be in any condition tonight to talk about anything, let alone what exactly had happened in that office this afternoon.

"Yeah," Lex said, finally resting his hand on Colin's shoulder. "We'll get you cleaned up, and then we can all get some sleep, okay?"

Colin just nodded mechanically several times, and then looked to Lian. That was strange, and if Lex had had hair on his arms, he was sure it would be standing up. Colin was looking to Lian. . . for guidance, for direction.

"Come on, Lin," Julian said. The boy scooted forward off the bed and held out a hand for Colin to take. Then he pulled him towards the door, and out into the hallway, footsteps heading to the bathroom down the hall.

Lex just stood there a moment, before realizing that Colin would need something clean to change into, and that he had a call to make.

***

After seeing that both Colin and Lian were tucked into bed -- Lex felt like a mom just thinking the words "tucked in" -- he had gone back to his own room to think and try at some more sleep. In vain.

His mind refused to settle down on one topic, and thus dreamland was a no-go. And the one thing constantly replaying in his mind was Colin's voice saying, "It's okay, now, baby boy. Don't you even think on it anymore. Nothing's ever going to hurt you while there's still breath in my body."

It was a long time until sunrise.

***

Lex's phone call to Bruce last night had been short and to the point, and his friend said to expect him back over at the Jamesons' this morning. A constant feeling of worry and impossible dread had filled Lex to the brim, as he'd forgotten to even tell either of his brothers about their plans. Well, not tell exactly, but. . . suggest? Oh, who was he kidding? Lex wanted them to leave Metropolis, just for a little while, just to get back into some sort of healthy pattern of living. . . away from Lionel. He and Bruce had both agreed that it made the most sense for all three of them to stay in Gotham. . . with Bruce and Alfred.

And Lex had forgotten to ask Julian or Colin if that was okay. He'd forgotten. And so now he'd have to tell them that they were scheduled to leave this evening, and that was somehow it. Right? God, he was such a fuck-up. A horrible brother.

Lian came down the stairs first, at around eight. And Colin followed at eight-thirty. And Lex told them his idea, and asked them if they wanted to do this, if they wanted to move in with Bruce. . . temporarily.

Lian glanced at Colin and then said, in a near-whisper, eyes on his hands, "Lex, it's okay with me." Lifting his eyes to look at Colin, he continued, "I think it might be a good thing, too."

Lex felt his breath leave him in a great sigh of relief, and then he, too, looked at Colin. He and Lian were sitting on two stools in front of the kitchen island, while Lex stood leaning forward across from them, bracing himself on his elbows. During the time they'd been in here, Colin had yet to look up once. Now, as his head rose, Lex unconsciously stood up and waited for. . . something. But Colin never met his gaze. Instead, those big green, empty eyes drifted up over Lex's head and along the wall behind him. With his lips parted and eyes unfocused, Colin looked hazy and disconnected, as he had since his return to the house in the middle of last night. Truthfully, it was beginning to scare Lex.

"Colin?" Lian asked, laying a hand over his arm, and ducking his head in an attempt to get Colin's attention. "Is that all right with you? I'm sure we don't have to go if you don't want to. . . " he trailed off, uncertainly.

Eyes still moving back and forth over the distance behind them, Colin's quiet "Okay" was very nearly lost in the sudden sound of the doorbell and commotion at the front door. Bruce had arrived, no doubt, and just in time, too. Lex was in over his head, and, as he met Lian's eyes, he got the unsettling feeling that so was he. Which was understandable -- he was eight-years-old, for Chissake! -- except for the fact that Julian also seemed at a loss as to what was going on in Colin's head. And who knew Colin better than Lian?

As Bruce came into the room, followed by a frazzled-looking Raisa, Lex was struck with the thought that if neither he nor Julian could get through to Colin now, surely Bruce could. And if not Bruce, Lex thought, inwardly smiling a little, Alfred would get to the bottom of things and still have time to personally polish all the Wayne ancestral silver in that dreary mansion before dinner.

1. Maybe there was some hope, but looking over at Colin again -- vacant and so. . . thin   Lex wasn't going to count on it. He'd just make backup plans, and. . . wait.

***

From Bruce's expression, Lex could tell he hadn't expected them to go back to Gotham with him. Typical Bruce, Lex thought. While he, himself, was definitely a pessimist and cynic, Bruce put him to shame with his own brand of maudlin acceptance and hopelessness. And Lex knew why Bruce was like that, but it didn't make it any easier to get the man to open up.

The problem with him having a relationship with another guy was, Lex had found through experience, that both he and said guy had problems expressing their emotions and the fear of commitment was strongly present on both sides, as well. Basically, a relationship with one guy and one girl had a difficult enough time progressing and being sustained, all on its own. Replace the girl with another man, equally as neurotic and emotionally crippled as the other, and you had a recipe for painful heartbreak. Lex had also learned that through personal experience.

So Bruce was unsure. Well, that was to be expected, as Lex was, too. In fact, he'd be more worried if Bruce had been absolutely certain as to how to proceed. None of them were fully equipped to do this, but that just meant they had to try harder. Lex had to try harder. No more giving up, Luthor, he thought to himself. You're gonna do this, and you're going to get them out of his city, and then you and Bruce, and Alfred, are just-- just all gonna sit down and figure out what to do next.

Bruce had arranged for the Wayne Enterprises private jet to be at Metropolis Airport, hangar 14, at three o'clock this afternoon. Originally, he'd sent it back to Gotham, thinking he'd be here for a longer stay. Now he was having Alfred fly in it here to Metropolis, and then all five of them would return to Gotham, and the Wayne estate.

Currently, it was two minutes past noon, and Lex and Lian were trying to get Colin's things packed. . . again. This was the third time Lex had packed all his bags in the last week, and the second for Julian and Colin. Lex had gone straight for Colin's clothes, since he knew that was just folding and nothing too personal. He left the sketch books to Lian. So much for trying harder, eh, Luthor? he chastised himself. Give the eight-year-old the hard task. What a schmuck.

"Hey, Lin," Lian was saying. "Do you want to pack your drawings in the suitcase, or take them with you into the compartment?" Julian was standing next to the bed where Colin sat. The four sketch books, all that remained from a once huge stack (Lex would guess about 20), on the comforter in front of him.

"Lin?" Lian asked again, and Lex turned away to face the drawers. Stuffing the socks and shirts into the bag, he next resisted the urge to smack his head upon the dresser. He'd forgotten to buy Colin underwear. After he'd packed for him last time, he had sworn to buy the kid some the very next day. But. But Bruce had come back that next day, and then they'd met at the restaurant the day after that, and--

And Lex had just forgotten underwear for Colin in all the commotion and planning. His next thought made him want to stab himself for being just as bad as Lionel. "Though he's probably used to going without," is what he thought. Lex's hands shook as he reached out for the next stack of shirts.

"Colin, what do you want me to do?" Lian's pleading voice brought Lex back to the situation behind him. Turning around, he saw Julian had moved to the other side of the bed in an attempt to get Colin to look at him.

But like he'd been doing ever since the night before, Colin's eyes simply refused to focus on anyone or anything. Instead, the boy's head would slowly move back and forth, and his eyes traced patterns across the walls and windows of the house. Not even Lian could get him to focus, and Lex knew deep down they were in trouble. They just had to get to Gotham and everything would be better. Once they got to Bruce's, they'd figure out what to do. Alfred would know. They'd work it out, and get Colin a doctor, and then--

And then they'd take them away. Lex was kidnapping two minors. . . across the country. He was going to-- God, what were they going to do?

But-- but Jameson was working on that, right? He'd said something last night, before Lex had come up to try and apologize to Lian. Rick had said that he knew a judge and that he had friends in Gotham, and. . . Lex couldn't quite remember and he was currently having a panic attack. Telling himself to breathe deeply and calm down, Lex looked back over to Lian.

"Colin, please? Please, say something." Julian was near tears and holding Colin's hands in his grasp, as he knelt on the floor in front of him. "I don't know what you want if you don't tell me. Are you okay? Why won't you say anything?" As Lian looked down at his hands wrapped around Colin's, he quietly said, so quietly Lex almost missed it, "Why won't you tell me?"

A knock on the doorframe made Lex flinch and he quickly turned towards the door. Bruce stood there, wearing his closed-off expression, which meant he was freaked out and worried, most likely. Most of the time, when Bruce looked cold and aloof, he was really just unsure and out of place. At least, that's what Lex had gathered, through personal experience again. Who really knew? He doubted even Bruce knew what Bruce actually felt half the time.

"Need any help?" Bruce asked, quietly, still standing out in the hall. Lex waved him in.

"We're just about done." Turning to Lian, Lex said, "Julian," and when the boy looked up, he continued, "I've got a bag we can put those in." He indicated the books. "We'll take them onboard with us, and that way if you want them, Colin, you can have them. All right?" Julian nodded, and Lex could tell his little brother was trying to put on a brave face. Unfortunately, it came across as more of a fearful grimace, but Lex didn't have the heart to say anything.

Turning back to Bruce, he held out the big duffle full of Colin's clothes for him to take. He got a raised eyebrow in response, but the bag was nonetheless gently taken from Lex's arms and hefted onto the other man's shoulder. Going to the closet for Colin's coat, he was again startled when a hand came to rest on the small of his back, and he felt air on his ear from Bruce's breath as he whispered a quick, "Look," nudging Lex to turn around again.

Colin was holding a box out to Lian. . . with a certain reverence one only saw with religious relics and sacred objects.

"This goes in the bag, too," was all Colin said before looking back out the window. His eyes still faraway, Colin said, "You should take a look in it, Lian. I made sure I kept everything important."

And then for the first time since yesterday in Jameson's office, Colin turned his head and looked directly into Lex's eyes as he continued, "You should see it, too, Lex. I made sure he didn't throw any of the important things away. I kept her important things." And then he withdrew from the edge of the bed back towards the middle, pulling his legs up and curling his arms around them. Colin laid his head down on his knees, and simply closed his eyes, as Lex, Lian and Bruce stared dumbfounded.

What scared him the most was that while Colin's eyes had been on him, Lex had still found nothing. . . there. They were empty green glass, and the kid's expression had revealed nothing, as well. Which, thinking on it, didn't necessarily mean anything. After all, hadn't he just been thinking not ten minutes earlier about Bruce's own expressionless mask? But those eyes. . .

Lex looked at Lian across the room, and saw the uncertainty warring with curiosity in his face. Laying Colin's coat on the dresser, Lex walked across the room and sat in the chair next to the window, right where he'd left it from the night before. And as Lian scooted back towards him, Lex looked up and met Bruce's eyes. Colin hadn't said it was okay for Bruce to look, and Lex didn't honestly feel like sharing whatever was within the box with him. It made him feel bad because he knew how much it would mean to Bruce, but. . . he needed this for just them, at first. Later-- later, he would ask Colin, and then maybe the three Luthors and Bruce and Alfred could one night sit together and just. . . share memories. Maybe that would help all of them. And Bruce could know that he was loved and cherished, and Colin would see that so was he. That's what they'd do, Lex promised. He didn't know whom he promised, but he suddenly felt like crying and found a picture of his mother came to mind. As she'd been when he was little. All bright skin and a halo of fiery hair surrounding her, like she carried the sun with her wherever she went. Grinning and tickling him and God! laughing loudly, and so very, very strong and healthy.

When Lex looked back towards where Bruce was, he found the other man had left.

***

Lex insisted Lian do the honors of opening the wooden box, and glanced over at Colin on the bed, all huddled into himself. Remembering his pledge to himself to start trying harder, Lex thought of what they should do.

He stood up, offering a hand down to Lian. When his brother at first just stared at the outstretched hand, and then him, as if he were crazy, Lex smiled and nodded his head towards the bed. Lian followed his lead, and looked over. Turning back to Lex, he stuck his hand out and Lex gripped it, pulling him to his feet.

Lex went to the bed first, and resolutely sat down not too far from Colin. He felt Lian sit down, too, and took the plunge.

"Won't you look at it with us, Lin?" Lex asked, quietly, the nickname just rolling off his tongue as naturally as his own.

And Lex praised a god he didn't believe even existed when Colin opened his eyes and  met his own. Colin lifted his head up and nodded, and Lex felt blessed, as though he'd been granted absolution.

***

Inside that wooden box were what Colin had dubbed "keepsakes."

Inside that box were three small locks of curly hair, each bound in a blue ribbon. One red, one black, and one brown.

There were many photographs in the box, too. Some with a young Lillian and Lionel, embracing and smiling -- one with them facing the camera, she on his back and wearing a ridiculously large sunhat, and he clean shaven and. . . smiling.

Some of the pictures were of Lex. . . with hair. At the first one -- where Lex had been photographed in his school uniform, scowl firmly affixed to his small face -- Lian gave an abrupt snort of laughter before quickly looking up at Lex, worriedly. Patting him on the back, Lex couldn't resist chuckling, either. Soon all of them were laughing. Well, he and Lian laughed, while Colin smiled and hid his face, shoulders shaking in suppressed laughter.

There were a few photos of a young and extremely pale Colin, and two of an 11-year-old Lex with his arm around his new younger brother, both of them in suits.

And there was one photograph that nearly made Lex break down. It was quite simple, really, just a picture of a newborn baby, like a thousand others across the globe. A sleeping baby, with wisps of dark hair and pearly white skin. But on the back was written, "Dear Julian -- December 17, '92," in that familiar loopy handwriting of their mother's. And Lex thought of how she must have written that knowing she'd never see Julian any older than that of a newborn baby. They all looked at that picture for a very long time, and when Lian went to put it back in the pile, Colin's arm darted out and stopped him. He pushed the photo back into Lian's hand and closed his fingers around it, saying, "She would have wanted you to have that, Julian."

Inside that wooden box was a lock of each of their hair, and photos showing their past. And there were 37 Warrior Angel comics, each encased in a slim plastic sheath, with a cardboard support. Colin's first Christmas present from Lex.

***

Alfred arrived at the Jameson house around three forty-five that afternoon. By then, Lex, Lian and. . . Lin. . . had all finished packing and were being stuffed with food by Raisa. Her going away present, she said.

"You boys are all so skinny! Look at this one!" she had exclaimed, stepping behind Lin and lightly shaking his shoulders. "Skin and bones, that's all you Luthor boys are. You need someone to force-feed you, don't you?" She had then drifted back into the kitchen proper, muttering and grumbling under her breath. Lex had a hard time containing his grin.

When the doorbell rang some thirty minutes later, for the second time that day, Bruce, who had been quietly putting away his own plateful of Raisa-approved food, quickly excused himself, long legs striding across the room and out the doorway. A few minutes later, he returned with Alfred Pennyworth behind him. Bruce introduced him to Raisa and then sat back in his seat, picking up his fork and resuming his gentlemanly devouring. Gesturing Alfred to a seat, Raisa set a bowl of white soup in front of him, much to Alfred's surprise.

"You don't want that stuff," she said with a wave of her hand towards Bruce's plate. "Too heavy. But this will fill you up nicely, yes? For all of us people who are not young skeletons." Much like the rest of them, Alfred wisely decided that this was not a battle he would win, and slowly began spooning up the chicken and beans in broth that Raisa for some reason called "chili."

"So, everything's set, Alfred?" Bruce asked. He'd cleared his plate faster than all the rest of them, and Lex wondered how often he ate, if he'd been that hungry. If he hadn't changed that much, then Bruce probably went for as long as he could without eating or sleeping, just like he had when they were in school together. And Bruce was thinner now than he'd been back at Princeton. Toned, yes, but slimmer, like his body had been worn and worked down to just the bare essentials. Where Lex and his brothers were just plain skinny, Bruce was lean and wiry. And trained.

"Oh, yes, Master Bruce," Alfred answered, spoon halfway to his mouth. "I believe you will be well pleased with the arrangements."

"Arrangements?" Lex asked warily. Bruce scheming and planning was as natural as him breathing, and Lex had learned that the hard way over the years. "What have you got up your sleeve, Wayne?" he said, narrowing his eyes and adopting a suspicious scowl.

Following their little tradition, Bruce turned to Lex with big innocent eyes and shrugged. "I have no idea what you are talking about, Lex. I don't believe I have ever done anything like what you are hinting at."

"Mmmm, I bet."

Bruce was sitting at one end of the table, Lex at the other. Lian was to Lex's right and Colin sat hunched into himself at Bruce's left. Alfred had taken the chair on Bruce's other side, and so was directly across from Colin. As the conversation slowed, Lian looked over at Alfred and said quietly, "My name is Julian Luthor, sir. It's very kind of you to let us stay." Lex and Bruce had both forgotten to introduce Alfred to Lian and Colin, and Julian, being ever observant of manners and propriety, had decided to take the lead. God, Lex loved that kid.

Alfred, laying his spoon down in his bowl, looked at Lian and bowed his head, smile crinkling his eyes. "I am Alfred Pennyworth, Master Julian, and it is my pleasure to meet you, young sir. Any friend of Master Bruce is always welcome at the house. I daresay, it's not seen much company for quite some time, not since master Lex stayed back in their schooldays. It will be wonderful to have all of you." He smiled broadly, and looked over to Bruce, who was casually sitting back in his chair, hands clasped together in front of his face. He'd adopted his mask again, and Lex had a guess as to why.

When Alfred said that Wayne manor had not seen many guests in a long while, what he meant was that hardly anyone had come there since the deaths of Thomas and Martha Wayne. And so he guessed that, like Lex himself did whenever someone mentioned his mother, Bruce had to be remembering those times when he was young, and the house had been full of people. The Waynes had been social butterflies, always around and involved, and many parties must have been held at their estate.

And Bruce had been so young when they'd died. It must seem like a whole other life to him now. Lillian had died when Lex was 13, and his time with her still felt like something out of a dream. . . or, towards the end, a nightmare. He couldn't imagine what Bruce must feel, and his love for the man surged up powerful and overwhelming. Bruce Wayne was amazing and so incredibly strong.

"This is my brother Lin. I mean, Colin. But we all call him Lin. Just like Lex is Lex, not Alexander." Lex was drawn from his thoughts on Bruce by Lian's voice, and looked up to see Bruce staring at him from across the table. Lex smiled at him, and received a quirk of the lips in return: Bruce's own version of a smile. Sliding his eyes over to Colin, Lex was disturbed by his brother's withdrawal back into silence and avoidance. He'd hoped that after their opening of Lin's keepsake box, that perhaps the kid would talk more, or something. But during the whole meal, Lin had kept his head down and his mouth closed -- literally. Looking at Lin's plate, Lex saw it was still three quarters full, and he was just pushing the food around and around. The kid was skinnier than all of them, and the circles under his eyes were still so dark. Lin looked terrible, and Lex was really worried. He didn't know what would help Colin. Would talking to him about. . . things. . . help, or make him even worse? Dare he try, and risk causing Lin to truly go off the rails?

All of the questions were slowly driving Lex insane. It was against his very nature to ignore something, to not ask why? But, for Colin he was doing this. For Lin, and Lian. His own curiosity would just have to wait, he told himself.

***

The five of them boarded Bruce's "company" jet at approximately five o'clock. It took off for Gotham at a quarter after five, and they were in the air five minutes later.

And out of Metropolis, away from Lionel and the Centre.

The seats in the jet faced each other in a small cluster, so that the five of them were able to look at each other without having to turn around. Lex sat next to Bruce. He'd immediately taken the seat closer to the middle, and Bruce had simply smirked and comfortably lowered himself into the one next to the window, well aware of Lex's fear of heights. Meanwhile, Lian took the seat across from Bruce at another window, with Colin sitting next to him. Alfred's seat was in between Colin and Lex.

And now Colin was sleeping. Almost the minute they'd passed over state lines, Lin had dropped off to sleep.

The flight from Metropolis to Gotham would take about three hours, and Lin fell asleep about thirty minutes in.

An hour after takeoff, Lex looked over to Colin and saw his mouth moving, as if he were talking in his sleep. Worried, but not overly so, Lex went back to discussing politics with Bruce.

Halfway through the flight, Colin screamed in his sleep.

It came out of nowhere, and scared the bejesus out of everyone, including the pilots, who called back to make sure everything was all right. Alfred got up to go and talk to them, while Lian tried to shake Lin awake. Much like two nights ago, Lin remained unconscious, and tears again began falling from his tightly closed eyes. He only screamed the once, not long, but loud and terrified. He started shaking and moving his head back and forth, though, mumbling under his breath. As Lex unbuckled his seatbelt and crouched by Lin's side, he was able to pick up some of what his brother was saying.

"Please, no-- won't do it anymore, Daddy, I swear. Please, no, no-- won't do it again. . . "

Over and over, Lin whimpered and pleaded to his dream-Lionel, and the hatred and anger and fear rose up in Lex. Look at what you've done, Dad, he thought.

"Look, Lex. Look at me. Look at what I am now, and remember. You remember that little boy I was, and you just imagine what he did to him."

Colin had said that. And now Lex was imagining it, and he was. . . so scared. How did anyone make something like this better? How could this have happened? And, Jesus, now Bruce and Alfred really knew the extent of things, Lex thought as he looked back at Bruce. Alfred was just returning from the cockpit, and the older man's face was horrified and sad.

Leaning closer to Lin, Lex began whispering to him. Calm and reassuring things that Lex didn't really feel, but tried his damnedest to make convincing. This had worked last time, right? But Lin wasn't waking up. He was still shaking and crying   big tears that seemed more of a reflex than part of an emotion.

Finally, he laid his left hand on top of Lin's hair and Lex leaned his forehead against his brother's. "It'll be okay, Lin. I swear. I swear I'll make it better. Remember when you were little and afraid of storms? And I told you it was nothing to be afraid of, and we watched how the lightning made arcs of energy across the sky. You drew them the next day, and you said you thought lightning was just," Lex choked back a sob. "You said it was just misunderstood." A sad, tear-soaked laugh came out of him, and Lex could, even now, picture how earnest and sincere Lin had been that day, all big, warm eyes and happy smile. Lex brought his right arm up and slid it around Lin's shoulders, praying that he'd get to see that boy again. God, Lin, I'm so sorry, he thought. . . or maybe he said it aloud because suddenly there was a hand on his waist, and the words, "It's not your fault, Lex," were whispered in his ear.

He quickly leaned back, and, yes, Lin was awake and looking back at him. And those eyes. . . Lex had just recalled Lin's warm, joyful eyes as a child, and was again confronted with the dead green ones in front of him now. These eyes were haunted and resigned, and so full of pain it made Lex ache and hurt, himself.

"God, Lin, you scared us!" Julian said breathlessly from behind him.

Lin stiffened and his hand dropped from Lex's waist as he turned his head away. The movement caused Lex's hand to slide from his hair. "Sorry," he whispered.

The stiffness didn't leave him, and Lex decided Lin didn't want him touching him anymore. So he withdrew his arm from around Lin's shoulders and moved back to his seat, keeping an eye on Lin  the whole time.

Gradually, they all settled down a bit, but the tension was still there. The four of them kept looking at Lin, and Lin kept his head down and himself hunched over. Lex had no doubt that if he could, Colin would bring his feet up onto the seat and turn himself into a human ball. But the seats were too small for that.

They barely spoke the rest of the flight.

***

When they landed, Bruce and Alfred led the way off the plane. Lex and Lian waited for Lin and walked on either side of him, and over to the car waiting for them. Alfred drove them to the mansion, and upon sight of the massive house, Lex breathed a deep sigh of relief. They'd gotten here. Whatever else was happening, or had happened, they were here, with Bruce and Alfred. They were in Gotham and not as easily within Lionel's power as they had been in Metropolis.

The situation was horrible, and terrifying, but Lex was thankful.

At least they weren't in Lionel's house, anymore. At least they weren't in his city anymore, either. Lex would have to remember that whenever he looked over at Lin and thought of that little boy he'd used to be.

***

Interlude

When they finally arrived at the manor, he helped carry in the luggage while Alfred went to arrange a late dinner, which of course none of them would eat. Alfred enjoyed doing stuff like that, though. Surely with Julian and Lex here now, he would have the opportunity to feed someone up properly, for Bruce was certainly no big eater. And Colin, well. . . so far, Bruce hadn't seen Colin eat anything, so that was going to take some work on Alfred's part. But he had every confidence in the man's abilities. Alfred never failed to nag in such a way that you felt extremely guilty for not doing what he had, early on, suggested ever-so-politely. Bruce was endlessly amazed that no matter how hard he tried to resist Alfred's tricks and subtle manipulations, he couldn't. Ever. The old man was truly devious and completely played up the kindly grandfather persona. At least, Bruce knew that. Most people liked Alfred, but that was just because they hadn't been forced to be nagged by him since birth. Twenty years of Alfred-nagging and all those supporters and fans of the man would recognize the validity of Bruce's claims. . .

Bruce was startled out of his anti-Alfred thoughts by a distinctly amused-sounding cough to his left. When he cocked his head over, he saw Lex smirking at him with a raised eyebrow. Damned smug bastard, Bruce thought, ruefully.

"What are you looking so pleased about, Luthor?" he growled. But instead of quaking in fear, Lex's smirk grew into a toothy smile.

"You are so transparent, Wayne," he replied. "I love Alfred." As they reached the stairs, he and Lex in front, Lex leaned in close and whispered in his ear, "If only he were forty years younger and queer, who knows?" Then he moved ahead and started taking the steps by twos, head turned back to show off his evil grin.

See if Bruce was going to share his room with him after that comment.

Sighing to himself, he accepted the fact that, yes, most likely he would end up sharing his room with Lex. Somehow he just wormed his way into everything. Looking up, he watched as Lex tripped on one of the rugs at the top of the stairs, stumbling gracelessly. Bruce made sure to laugh loudly and was rewarded with that feline death-glare he loved so much. Christ, how he'd missed that look when he was training. No Lex. No Alfred nagging at him. No hot water or decent food. Bruce was lucky to have even made it out alive, and thinking of all the things that wouldn't be if he weren't here in this city right now. . . terrified him. What if he'd never gotten out of that prison?

Where would Lex and his brothers be?

Where would Colin be?

He stole a glance behind him as he turned the corner, searching out Colin, and was again startled at how much he'd changed since Bruce had last seen him.

Both Colin and Julian had accompanied Lionel to Lex's graduation from the Academy a few years back, and Bruce had been seated at their table for the reception dinner. Now that had been awkward.

Lex had insisted on sitting next to Bruce, with Julian on his other side, and Colin had immediately taken the other seat next to Bruce. Kyler Hanson and his parents had already been seated, so the only spot left for Lionel had been between Mrs. Hanson and Julian. And he hadn't looked pleased.

Through the whole dinner, Lionel had chatted with the Hansons while Bruce, Lex, and Kyler told tales of their schooldays to Julian.

Colin didn't say one word the entire time Bruce was there that day. But he did eat, a lot in fact. Bruce remembered how surprising he'd found that, that Colin cleared everything on his plate. But then he'd looked over and found Lionel's plate completely empty as well, and something had clicked in his mind. Colin had timed his eating to match Lionel's, and that was disturbing. Not in a traditional sense, of course. It was often the custom at certain high-class functions to follow the host's example and pace, when eating. But that Colin had done it here, where Lionel wasn't calling the shots, spoke of habit and of it being ingrained in him to follow Lionel's lead no matter the circumstance. And the next leap in logic was to question in what other areas Colin. . . imitated. . . his "father." Something was rotten in the state of Luthor, and Bruce had a suspicion about what it was.

Bruce had avoided looking at Lionel for the rest of the day.

***

Later that same year, when Bruce and Lex were together at Princeton, Lionel would periodically stop by the apartment unannounced. He'd stay just long enough to make both of them completely uncomfortable and then abruptly stride out. Afterward, while Lex immersed himself in his studies as a way of coping with all the criticism and derogatory comments, Bruce would resume his seat at the window. It overlooked a small garden their downstairs neighbor kept up, and always his thoughts drifted from things back in Gotham, to Lex and his family, and then finally he would come to. . . Colin.

Bruce remembered that time in his life extremely clearly. He'd been floundering in college, constantly looking on as Lex flourished and excelled and passed him by. Alfred had sent him the information about. . . Chill's hearing. . . and all Bruce could see was his mother's necklace breaking and scattering across the concrete. Every sound was the whisper of his father's last breath.

In those days, all Bruce felt was pain and shame. . . and that naturally led him to think of Colin.

Bruce couldn't remember what day it was exactly when Julian called the apartment, frantically crying for Lex. And later when Lex had told him what had made Julian so upset, Bruce recalled feeling a strange kinship with Colin, almost as strong as the one he had with Lex.

How many times had Bruce thought of just. . . ending it all? The Last Wayne: it had a nice ring to it.

But he never did. Never even attempted it. But Colin had, and had very nearly succeeded too, from the sound of it. Christ, 12 years old, and something had driven him to suicide. Bruce knew what. He did. He couldn't fool himself, even if he was apparently fooling Lex. It was just another mark on his cowardly and weak soul that he said nothing. He was already going to Hell, had been doomed for almost ten years now. When he got there, he'd just make sure Lionel was burning too.

***

Lex went straight to the room he'd used all those years ago before, when he'd stayed here on break. Julian picked the guestroom next to Lex's, and Bruce dumped off the boy's suitcase before following Colin into the one directly across the hall. Colin walked over to the bed and stopped, then just stood there staring at the blue coverlet. Bruce wondered if he should say something.

"What's going to happen tomorrow?" Colin asked quietly, eyes never leaving the bed.

"Alfred's set up a tutor for you and Julian. Then in the afternoon, a friend of mine, a lawyer by the name of Nicholas Fallin, will come over and help. His father is an old buddy of Rick Jameson's, so that's another mark in his favor." Bruce finally just set Colin's bag on a chair and then went back to lingering in the doorway. Colin still hadn't moved. "Nick's a good guy. Young, too, for the position he holds at the firm, but he's pretty decent. For a lawyer." The joke fell flat, and Bruce wasn't surprised.

"Lin?" a voice called. And just a second later, Julian pushed by Bruce and walked slowly over to stand beside Colin. He gently laid a hand on Colin's arm, and even in the darkness of the room Bruce could make out the concern written on Julian's face. Feeling like an intruder, Bruce quietly withdrew and went in search of Lex.

"Hey," he said, as he entered 'Lex's room.' He'd made sure that Alfred knew not to change anything in here and was glad to see that, with Lex in it again, it brought back memories of last time.

Lex looked up from his unpacking, and smiled briefly.

"It looks exactly the same! I had expected it to be a different color or something, but. . ." Lex trailed off, and suddenly just threw the shirts he'd been holding across the room. Bringing his hands up to grip his head, Lex sighed heavily. "God, Bruce, everything's such a mess." Lex dropped his arms and spun around to sit heavily on the bed. He looked over at Bruce with a pleading expression, and Bruce knew Lex had no idea how wrecked he looked.

Approaching the bed, Bruce said, "Yes, it is a mess." At which point, Lex snorted and lowered his head into his hands. Bruce reached forward and pulled on one of Lex's wrists, causing him to look up. "But you're not alone. You know you're not. And now, neither is Colin. Lex," he said as his hand slithered its way from Lex's wrist up to cup his jaw, "we will make it better. Together we can do anything, right?" Bending his head in order to catch Lex's eyes, Bruce repeated, "Right? Remember when you said that to me? It's still true. And Jameson and Nick are no slouches, either." Lex gave a tear-soaked chuckle at that, and Bruce watched as twin tears coursed down his cheeks, the left falling off his chin, while the one on the right encountered Bruce's hand.

"Yeah, Nicholas Fallin, huh?" Lex gave a sniffle and went to wipe his nose with the back of his left hand, a move Bruce found too endearing for words. "Whoever thought he'd become respectable?"

"Oh, he's still a black sheep, don't worry. Make sure to ask him how he got all that experience with representing children. He'll love you for that." Bruce reached down, and with both hands gripping Lex's arms, pulled him to his feet. There was hardly any space between them, as Bruce hadn't moved back to make room for Lex to stand. He'd done it deliberately.

They were practically hugging each other, and Bruce found himself reluctant to go downstairs, or to go anywhere, in. He wanted to stay here with Lex and forget the world existed, forget about everything but them and how they'd always made things work.

But he couldn't. He couldn't abandon anything anymore. . . Neither of them could. Colin and Julian needed Lex so desperately now. And they needed Bruce, too.

And in the distance, Bruce thought he could hear Gotham itself cry out in agony.

In the distance, the sound of bats drew closer and closer each day.

Soon, he'd have to step up and give the city its justice. First, though, first he had to save those dearest to him, and send Lionel Luthor to Hell.

***

Lex slept with Bruce that night. They didn't even have sex, just lay together on the bed all night long. Sometime after two, Lex drifted off but he knew better than to assume Bruce had gotten any sleep. Lex was a restless sleeper, always had been. He'd start out lying on his back, but soon end up on his right side, then his left. And in the mornings, he always woke up on his stomach with his legs tangled in the sheets and his arms spread wide, as though he were reaching for something in his sleep. Bruce, however, consistently remained on his back the whole night through. And so when they had previously shared a bed, Lex would wake up lying half on Bruce's chest, his arms wrapped around the other man, and Bruce's right hand on Lex's lower back.

Today, though, Lex woke up in Bruce's bed alone. Raising himself to his elbows, he looked behind him when he heard a jingling, tinkling sound. Bruce was finishing dressing, and as he buckled his belt, leaned down to kiss Lex on the lips.

"Hey," was all he said, his voice low and rough. Lex flipped over onto his back and raised his arms above his head in a well-timed stretch. He didn't miss Bruce unconsciously licking his lips as he watched, and Lex brought his hands back down to lie on his chest.

"Hey, yourself. You always get up so early," he complained. "It's a horrible trait in an irresponsible billionaire, you know. Makes you look interested in something." Raising his eyebrows in mock chiding, Lex glanced over at the clock on the other side of the bed. 7 o'clock. In the morning. Christ.

"I'm going to go and make sure everything's set up for the tutoring session," Bruce said. His expression turned rueful as he said, "Though no doubt Alfred's taken over it all." He looked fondly at Lex. "I can't leave anything lying around without him butting in."

"Oh, you're such a faker," Lex replied, chuckling. "You love every minute of his interference." He sniffed in disdain. "You know you can't fool me. I've known you too long."

Bruce's gaze turned thoughtful as he reached down to lightly touch Lex's cheek. "That you have. Whenever you're ready, a feast will no doubt be waiting for you."

And with that, he was striding across the bedroom and out the door, closing it softly behind himself. Lex sighed and looked around before forcing himself to get out of bed. Today, no matter how wonderful it started out, would not be pleasant. Today, Nick Fallin was coming over and all the details regarding Lex's temporary guardianship of Lin and Lian would be hashed out. And then they would discuss how things would proceed from here.

Lex trekked into the master bath and showered. As he got dressed afterward, he guiltily wondered how Lin's night had gone. Probably another sleepless one, and he should make Lin and Bruce stay up together. Maybe it'd help them both somehow.

He descended the stairs and took a left into the kitchen. Upon entering, Lex saw Bruce and Alfred standing near the refrigerator talking in low tones. Julian and Lin were seated at the small table off to the side, Julian eating a bowl of sugar and Lin drawing something intently. Lex was just happy to see Colin back to drawing. It was something he'd done for almost as long as Lex had known him, and he didn't want to think on what it had meant for Lin to destroy all those drawings of his back at the house. All those brilliant pieces of art. It made Lex feel incredibly sad. And worried.

He walked over to the table and took a seat, pouring himself a cup of coffee from the carafe in the middle. Curling his hands around the heat of it, Lex tried to sneak a peek at what Lin was drawing, but couldn't make out anything other than dark concentrated lines and heavy shading. He looked up and saw Lian smiling at him.

"It's this house," Lian said with nod of his head towards Colin's sketch. "It's so big! I can understand why Lin's so interested in it. Especially appropriate for where it is, right, Lex?"

Lex laughed and nodded as he took a sip of his drink. "Sure is. Gothic style manor just outside of Gotham? I don't think it gets any more appropriate than that." He paused, then said, "In architecture." And got the expected giggle from Lian. God, the kid was easy to make laugh.

But Lex found himself chuckling, too, as he glanced over at Bruce and Alfred again. Evidently the two of them had finished whatever discussion they'd been having, for Alfred moved away and started rounding up various empty dishes and plates and placing them on the counter to be washed. Bruce remained leaning against the fridge, his eyes on the glass of orange juice in his hands. Suddenly he looked up, and made eye contact with Lex across the room. From the expression on Bruce's face, Lex knew that what they had been discussing hadn't been anything good.

A plate being set down in front of him took Lex by surprise and he looked behind him to see Alfred smiling and gesturing for him to eat. Crepes and toast. Lex chuckled and returned the old man's smile with a nod. The last time he'd stayed here, Lex had been amazed at Alfred's cooking skills, and every breakfast asked for crepes. Evidently it hadn't been forgotten.

Bruce walked over to the table and sat down beside Lex, his glass of juice still full. Lex noticed Alfred didn't attempt to get Bruce to eat anything, and thought it just as well. Whatever food was placed in front of Bruce that Bruce didn't want would inevitably receive a blank expression and go to waste. The man was incredibly stubborn.

"This is an amazing house, Bruce," Lian said. "I think I'll have to stick to the front rooms, though, and not go exploring. I'd get lost for sure!"

Lex coughed into his coffee and hastily avoided Bruce's knowing eyes.

"Well, you'd do no worse than Lex here," Bruce-the-ever-annoying said lightly. "I'd wager that he got lost within the first hour of stepping through the front doors. It took us about half an hour to find him." He leaned forward towards Lian, setting his glass on the table and adopting a wistful tone. "He was over in the northeast wing, on the fourth floor. In the hallway. Turning around and looking soooo confused." Bruce gave Lex an affectionate look, and Lex wanted to smother him in his sleep. . . if the man ever slept!

Lian laughed and Bruce smirked, and damned if Lex didn't feel the corners of his mouth turning up, too. "Well, it's a big damn house! And don't tell me Alfred never had to hunt you down when you were a kid. I bet you got lost once or twice, too." And Bruce's smirk remained just as annoying as ever.

"Actually," came Alfred's voice, "I do believe Master Bruce most often found himself gone astray in the gardens. Several times I recall having been part of a search party for him."

Lex and Lian laughed, and he swore he heard Bruce literally huff. Alfred gave a brief smile, but before he could turn away, Lin's quiet voice caught their attentions.

"There are a lot of bats here, aren't there?" Lin asked, continuing to work on his drawing. Confused, Lex looked over to Bruce and then Alfred.

"Yes, I do believe there are, Master Colin," Alfred replied soberly. "They were here long before I was, and I quite think they shall stay even after I am gone."

Both Alfred and Bruce looked uneasy, and Lex wasn't sure why. Bats? How would--

"How did you know there were bats, Lin?" Lex asked his brother's lowered head. Lin still hadn't looked up, and his hair had fallen in front of his face in such a way that it was hard to make anything out.

"There was one in my room last night. I opened the window and he went back out into the night." He looked up at Bruce and asked, "Was that the right thing to do? I'd never seen one before." Lin again lowered his head, but twisted and tucked his hair behind his neck as he did so. "They're quite strange looking, aren't they, Bruce?"

And then Lin went back to drawing, as if he hadn't said anything at all, leaving all of them stunned and most of them confused. Well, Lex was confused and he guessed Lian was, as well. Bruce had his calm and cool mask on and Alfred looked worried and a touch. . . angry. Lex blinked and looked again, and the trace of anger was gone as if he'd only imagined it.

"Yes, I suppose they are." Bruce's voice sounded thoughtful, and Lex made a mental note to later ask what that had been about.

The four of them spent a while longer eating, relaxing and drawing around the table, Alfred leaving the room and then returning a few minutes later. When he did, he came over to the table and leaned down to quietly tell Bruce something. Bruce nodded and looked over at Lian and Colin.

"I've arranged a tutor for you two. Just temporarily, but she's just now arrived." Bruce stood and appeared to be waiting for Julian and Lin to follow him. Lex felt he should meet this Bruce-approved tutor, and got to his feet. Bruce merely gave him a glance before turning back to look at Lin. Julian had pushed his chair back, but remained sitting as he watched Colin lean in close and make a slight move of his hand. Watching Lian's face, Lex saw him frown and wondered what it was exactly that Lin was doing. They didn't have to wait long, for no sooner had Lex thought this than Lin twirled his pencil deftly into the spiral of the sketch pad, and stood up. Julian rushed to his feet next, as Bruce turned around to head out of the kitchen. And the three of them followed him like little ducklings through the enormous house.

Bruce had set them up to study in the library, and Lex was at first struck dumb by how bright it was inside. It was surely the brightest room in the whole gloomy manor, and he felt a sense of approval that his brothers would be learning in such an environment. Better than a typical classroom and far more appropriate. He caught sight of someone out of the corner of his eye and turned his head. A middle-aged woman was standing before a table full of books, hands brought together in front of her, and Lex would bet just about anything she had a British accent. She just looked so. . . proper and educated. But she had a kind face, too. Her hair was short and light, and the clothes she wore spoke more of practicality and comfort than of any desire to appear dignified.

So far, so good.

"May I introduce Liza Olexi," Bruce said. Gesturing to Lex, Lin and Julian, Bruce then turned to Liza and said, "Liza, this is Lex, Colin, and young Julian Luthor." Bruce smirked at Lian, and the kid looked like he wanted to stick his tongue out in retaliation. Instead, Lian settled for a brief glare in Bruce's direction, then ducked his head, but not before Lex caught the twitching of his lips. Julian could never keep a straight face.

"Thank you, Bruce." Liza said. "It's so nice to see all those etiquette lessons didn't go to waste."

Lex had been right. British.

He looked to Bruce, and the other man clarified. "Liza was one of my tutors when I was young. I'll always remember the time she took me to the city zoo and we watched the elephants for a whole afternoon." Turning back to her, Bruce asked, "What exactly was the point of that trip? I can't think it was just to return me covered in cotton candy."

Liza chuckled and said, "Oh, I'm sure you recall your father's regular discussions on politics. He once called Republicans "dirty elephants" within your hearing, and you insisted you must verify that elephants were indeed dirty. Upon seeing them, you asked me why your father seemed to dislike elephants so, and I bowed out and suggested you ask him." She again chuckled and shook her head with a sigh. "You were such a funny little boy," she said, with a fond look on her face.

Bruce, on the other hand, looked about as uncomfortable as Lex had ever seen him. Well, that answered that question. She'd been Bruce's own tutor from before his parents' deaths, and a very well-liked one, at that. No wonder she was his first choice for teaching Lin and Lian. Lex liked her already.

"Well," Liza exclaimed, "I can't believe either of you gentlemen in need of any assistance from me with those lofty educations of yours. So Colin, Julian, with your approval I think I'll shoo them out now." She looked between the two of them, and upon receiving a nod from Lian, waved her arms theatrically towards Bruce and Lex. "Be gone now, you! The three of us have learning to do!" When they reached the door, she winked at them before shutting it in their faces.

Bruce still had a strange look on his face when Lex looked over at him. "Yeah," Lex began, "she'll be good for them." He patted Bruce on the back and slung his arm around the other man's shoulders as they began to walk back down the hall.

***

It appeared Liza Olexi was to be more of a tutor/nanny. Bruce had said she was going to be staying over in the east wing, over where Alfred and the other staff had their rooms. It worked for Lex, anyway. Julian was eight-going-on-nine years old, and Lex himself had had a nanny until he was 13. Plus, if Liza staying in the manor meant one more person looking out and caring for Colin, then Lex had nothing even close to resembling a problem with it. He was damn glad, in fact. Because Liza? Was awesome. He only wished Lian and Lin had had her with them years ago.

Liza had come down to the kitchen around noon and declared that she and "the boys" were going to have lunch upstairs in order to "get to know each other better." He and Bruce had shared a look, and then Lex smiled back at her and asked how things were going. Liza's lips quirked a little.

"Oh, Julian is such a dear boy," Liza said, as she arranged the food on the tray. Then her expression turned sad. "But Colin-- " She looked at Lex and Bruce and said, "You didn't give me much information to go on, Bruce, but I know certain things when I see them. And the fact that you three are here at all," she continued, pointedly looking at Lex only, "speaks of some family tragedy." She set down the plates she had in her hands, and sighed as she came over to take a seat across from them.

"I hate to say this about anyone, let alone a boy as obviously intelligent and talented as Colin, but. . . " She hesitated and glanced down at her hands. "But I highly recommend you take him to a doctor." She looked up at Lex again. "He spoke to me. I understand from Julian's reaction that this was quite unusual, but it's not that which troubles me most." Liza licked her lips and took a deep breath, before continuing. "Colin allowed me to look at his drawings, and-- and what I saw scared me. Some of them are so imaginative and beautiful." Her hands became more animated and Liza looked almost happy and certainly excited as she described Lin's drawings.

"There was one I remember quite well," she said, smiling. "Colin had drawn an ark of sorts. It was enormous, took up the whole page, and so detailed! On each plank of wood was drawn, as though etched and carved into the wood itself, all sorts of animals and mythical creatures." Liza looked between the two of them. "All of his drawings of nature and animals are like that one. All of them simply filled with light and hope and happiness. But the other drawings. . . Colin has several drawings of himself and of his. . . father." She made eye contact with Lex, holding him in her focus. "Your father. Only-- only he was depicted as no father should be.

"Alexander," she said, and then her expression softened a bit. "Lex. I don't need to know the specifics of what happened. I just need you to get him some help, some real help. Take him to a 'shrink.'" Here she looked over at Bruce and her lips briefly twitched. "He needs to talk to someone, or else I'm very afraid that he will. . . do something to himself. Do you know what I mean, Lex?"

And Lex felt how wide his eyes were and knew he looked afraid, but didn't feel any guilt or weakness in showing it at that moment. He swallowed and looked into Liza Olexi's eyes and said, "Yes, Liza, I do." He couldn't maintain the eye contact any longer, though, and reached out to play with his water glass. "It's a very real worry, as far as Lin is concerned. He's tried to kill himself before. When he was 12." Lex glanced up to see her horrified expression, and his eyes went back to the glass in his hands. "I appreciate you telling me this, and I promise that Colin will get some help."

Liza nodded, and stood up to walk back over to the counter. She gave Lex and Bruce a small smile a few minutes later when she left with the tray of food, presumably on her way back upstairs to eat with Julian and Lin.

Bruce looked over at him and Lex turned and asked, "What?"

"I talked with Nick yesterday," he replied. "Part of you getting custody of Julian and Colin requires both of them to undergo a psychological evaluation." Bruce reached out to pull the glass of water away from Lex's fidgeting hands, and gripped both of them in between his own. Warm hands. Bruce's ever-calm face looked at him and Lex felt able to breathe properly for the first time since Liza had talked to them. "Nick also said he knew someone who would do it, and that he and the caseworker from Family Services were on good terms." His eyes focused on Lex's and he gave him a reassuring look. "Lex, your brothers are going to be okay. We'll get Colin into some counseling, and you custody of them, and Jameson will notify the Metropolis DA's office about. . . what Lionel has done. And he will go away for a very long time. We'll get justice against him. Right?" Lex nodded mechanically, gripping Bruce's hard.

"God, Bruce, I hope so."

***

At a quarter to two in the afternoon, Lex went back up to the library to get his brothers. Nick Fallin would be arriving at the hour, and both Julian and Colin should be there to meet with him. Lex was sure that they needed to know what was going to happen, and Colin -- Lex could feel his breath stick in his throat, and coughed -- Colin was going to have to talk about some of what had happened. Nick needed to know what he was dealing with, and Lin should deal with it somehow. Maybe sharing some of it would help.

Knocking on the door, Lex waited a beat and then opened it, leaning his head inside. Julian and Liza were sitting next to each other, heads close together and smiles on their faces. Looking for Lin, Lex blinked when he saw his brother's legs, the rest of him hidden behind a large easel. Lex cleared his throat again and stepped inside.

"I'm sorry to disturb the learning, but I need Colin and Julian to come down." Meeting Liza's eyes, Lex said almost apologetically, "Nick Fallin is due to arrive soon, and they need to be there."

Liza nodded to him and then patted Lian on the back. She stood up and went over to the easel. Stepping behind it, Lex could hear the quiet tones of her voice, but couldn't make out what she was saying to Lin. Soon, though, she and Lin came back into sight. She remained hovering near the easel, while Lin and Lian began walking towards Lex. He stood back from the doorway, allowing them to pass through first, and then giving Liza a last look, followed them down the hall.

They had decided to meet in Bruce's office and so Lex overtook his brothers on the stairs, leading them into the room once they'd reached the first floor.

Inside, Bruce sat behind the massive oak desk, spinning a pen around with his right hand. Upon seeing the three of them enter the room, he sat up quickly, stopping the pen and gesturing for them to sit over by the window. Evidently Alfred had brought in some more chairs and arranged them into two rows facing each other. Five chairs. Lex sighed, and mentally thanked Alfred for putting them in the sunshine at least. This would be hard enough without Lin having to be in the full gloom of Wayne manor.

Lin sat in the chair closest to the window, and Lian promptly took a seat next to him. Lex knew the three of them should stick together, no matter what the setting or context of the situation, and so he pulled a chair from the other row more towards Lian. The result was a sort of 'C' shaped sitting area, with Colin and Lian at the top, Lex in the middle and Bruce and Nick's chairs parallel to Lin and Lian at the bottom. Bruce came over from the desk and eased into the chair directly opposite Lin's, leaving a chair open between himself and Lex for Nick.

They waited a few minutes in silence until three minutes after two, when there was a knock at the door.

"Come in," Bruce called.

The door opened, and Alfred stood back as Nick Fallin entered the room.

"Mr. Nicholas Fallin, sir," Alfred announced.

"Thank you, Alfred. That will be all for now." Alfred withdrew, closing the door quietly behind him. As Bruce stood up to greet Nick, Lex took the opportunity to look the other man over. Nicholas Fallin was the son of a prominent corporate lawyer, and had graduated Excelsior Academy, class of 1991. He'd also attended and graduated from Princeton with his law degree and, as Bruce had informed him, was currently a partner at Fallin & Fallin. Lex smiled to himself, and thanked nepotism for the first time in his life. Given Nick's high placement at the firm, the lawyer would have greater access and contacts than if he'd been just another associate at his father's law practice.

To say that Nick had been infamous back in the day was putting it mildly. They still told stories of his "parties" at Excelsior. His mother had come from old money, and she and Lillian had once been good friends. When Anne Wells divorced Burton Fallin in 1983, ten-year-old Nicholas went to live with her in Pittsburgh, PA. Leaving Burton back in Gotham. Anne had always been well-connected and was a part of Lex's parents' social circle. But Nick was seven years older than Lex, and all that wasn't what had really made them aware of each other.

What had made Lex so interested in Nick was the fact that Anne died from cancer in 1985. Nick had been 12-years-old. Shortly after her death, Burton was granted custody of Nicholas and from then on until just last year, Nick remained away from his father -- first in boarding schools, then college, then a job at a New York firm. Nick and Lex shared a lot in common, and every once in awhile they would see one another at some fundraiser, or big holiday party. Lex was sure Nick knew just as much about him as he did about Nick, and so they never really had to smile and chatter at each other and make polite small talk. On the few occasions when the two of them talked, they interacted in a way that reminded him of how he and Bruce were, calm and simply enjoying the company.

Nick was a good guy at heart, but he'd had serious problems with cocaine, and in his personal life had the absolute worst luck of anyone Lex had ever known.

Lex stood up and offered his hand. "Nick Fallin," he said, smiling. "I hear you've been a bad boy again."

Nick's bright grin turned sharp and he chuckled. "Well, Lex, you know what they say. You can always tell a junkie's lying if his lips are moving. I've found the same to be true for lawyers, as well."

Lex laughed and shook his head. "It's good to see you doing so well, though. You and your father getting along, then?"

Lex knew his mistake as soon as he'd asked, but still wasn't quite prepared for how quickly Nick's face closed down. "Yeah, things are good," Nick said, but Lex knew a sore spot when he saw one, and wisely dropped it.

Turning to half-face Lian and Lin, Lex gestured for them to stand and introduced them to Nick. "Julian, Colin, this is Nicholas Fallin. Nick, my brothers Julian and Colin." Nick shook Julian's hand with a smile, but as Colin only nodded at him, merely returned the nod and sat down. They all took their seats and waited while Nick reached into his briefcase to get out a legal pad and a pen. He brought his right leg up to rest on his left, and looked first at Lex.

"Bruce led me to understand that you're seeking guardianship of your brothers. That true?"

Lex nodded, but didn't say anything.

"Well, I've already called for the psych evals at Dr. Cassiday's office, and Family Services will need to meet with you sometime this week. . . to get an idea of how you're suited for the task." Nick maintained eye contact with him and Lex found himself reevaluating the man's talent. Perhaps he'd underestimated how deserving Nick was of that partnership position because right now he seemed completely in control and on the ball.

"Now, I've been in touch with Rick Jameson back in Metropolis, and he's going to notify the DA today of suspected criminal activity on the part of one Lionel Luthor. Tomorrow," here Nick turned to address Colin and Lian, "you'll both go in for psychological evaluation, and if you're up to it, perhaps depositions." Turning back to Lex, and looking between him and Bruce, he said, "That is, I'm assuming you want Colin and Julian to stay here. Am I correct?"

"Yes," Lex responded. "Bruce is a longtime friend, and he and Alfred -- and Lian and Lin's new tutor, Liza -- are going to help us. That's going to work, right?"

"Yeah, there's no problem with that," Nick said, writing something down. "The Waynes have a sterling reputation, and the fact that you've got them a tutor speaks highly in your favor." He looked up at Lex. "I don't foresee any problems with you getting temporary custody of your brothers, Lex. That's not what I'm asking. You're going to have to go back to Metropolis and appear before the judge asking for custody, though. That's non-negotiable. My question is, do you want Colin and Julian to remain here in Gotham? In which case we can most likely get by on the depositions. Or. . . do you want them to come to the hearing?"

Nick brought his leg back down to the floor, and leaned forward, "I've gotta tell ya, Lex. I highly recommend letting them stay here." He took a deep breath and glanced over at Bruce before looking back at Lex. "Lionel is a powerful man, and considering what Bruce and Rick have told me. . . taking them back there is just asking for him to do something."

Nick leaned back in the chair, his leg coming up again to rest on his left. His right hand reached up to his face, and Nick rubbed wearily at his eyes. "I remember the first time Burton introduced me to Lionel. I'd been talked into coming back for the New Year's party at Luthorcorp, and your father shook my hand and patted me on the arm, grinning the whole time. He talked mostly business with my father, but at one point he turned and, just completely out of the blue, said to me, 'You know, Nicholas, my son is attending Excelsior now. I know how much you liked it there, and I hope he does just as much.'"

Nick raised his head and looked over to Bruce. "You both know Excelsior." He turned to Colin, trying to make the boy look at him. After a moment, Lin did look up and stared blankly right back at him, but Nick didn't seem at all bothered by it. "And I understand that you went there for awhile, too. I got into a lot of things at that so-called school that have haunted and chased after me ever since. And by saying it the way he did, Lionel essentially told me that he knew all that."

He looked at Lex again. "He was saying that he wanted you to suffer. Everyone in that circle knows what I did at school and what's happened since. Everyone knows everything in that crowd, and your father was telling me he hoped his own son did the same things I had done. That's when I realized how crazy he is, and if I can help you, in any way, I will, Lex."

Nick was a good man, and Lex could tell when someone was lying to him. And like Chance, he knew Nick was trustworthy. Another friend, maybe? Certainly a powerful ally and a damn good lawyer. Lex didn't feel so helpless or hopeless anymore. They weren't alone in this, he, Lin, and Lian. They had people who were helping them, and who seemed to want justice just as much as they did.

***

After another few minutes of Nick bringing them up to speed on procedure and how things would most likely play out, the air in the room began to shift. Nick looked pointedly at Lex and then glanced at Colin. Lex took a deep breath and tried to somehow mentally prepare himself for what must come next.

He turned to Julian and said, "Why don't you go see what Liza's doing, Lian."

To which Julian frowned, but nonetheless stood up and almost stomped out of the room.

Nick turned to Colin and leaned forward, resting his arms on his legs. "Colin, I have to ask you some questions now about what happened between you and Lionel. Either tomorrow or Wednesday, you're going to need to tell all that you can about what Lionel's done, and I need to have an idea of what to ask you so we can prepare."

Nick took another deep breath. "I'll tell you right now that I have no idea what this has been like for you or your brothers. I've worked and represented a lot of children in the past three years, a lot of horrible cases, but I don't pretend to think that that makes me able to identify with you. None of us here can." He waited until Colin looked up at him before continuing. "But the truth is that we can't help you either, unless you tell us some of what happened. I know you can't say everything. But-- but I need you to decide what's important and for you to tell us. It's your testimony that will put Lionel in prison, Colin. It's a low blow, but if you don't testify, if you don't tell me so that I can help you, chances are you and Julian will go back into Lionel's custody. . . and I know you don't want that."

Speech over, Nick remained sitting forward in his chair with his eyes only on Colin and a sad expression on his face. Lex held his breath until Colin began to speak.

Quietly and haltingly, Lin laid out a timeline of events that had Lex wanting to rush to the bathroom.

Colin had been at the Centre for over a year before Lionel brought him to the house when he was four. The sex had begun when Colin was ten years old, and had continued until last week when Lex had checked all three of them into the hotel room. In order to keep him silent, Lionel had threatened Lin's life, and when that had stopped working, he'd made noise about hurting Lex and Julian.

Colin didn't talk about what went on at the Centre. He said Lionel had pictures of him, naked, in his desk at Luthorcorp. He said that every time someone showed even an interest in him, Lionel made sure they went away. He said that the only reason he'd been allowed to go to Excelsior was that he'd promised to do whatever Lionel wanted him to when he got back at Winter Break. Lin said he'd tried to kill himself nine times, the most recent being last month.

After Colin had stopped talking, just sat staring out the window, Lex, Bruce, and Nick stood and shook hands. Lex had to wipe his face, and Nick had to clear his throat, and no one mentioned either. Before walking to the door, Nick crouched in front of Colin and waited until the boy looked at him. Nick held out his hand, and after a moment Lin reached out and shook it. Lex saw a tear glide down Nick's face, and Lin said, "Thank you, Nick." And Nick gave a sad smile and stood up. He nodded at Lex and Bruce, and then was gone.

Lex turned to Bruce, and when he saw the other man's pained expression knew he had been right to send Julian away. Later, Lian would be told. Later, he and Lin would tell him. But today, Nick had needed to know, and Lex knew the telling for them alone would be much different.

And much more horrifying.

***

Interlude

Five days, no sleep.

But he was starting to get sloppy, and soon the dreams would return.

Surreal, that's what the week had been. For as far back as he could remember, being awake meant being afraid. Now he was terrified to sleep.

Nick Fallin had come to pick them up yesterday. They'd gone to see a psychiatrist on Tuesday, and it wasn't until Friday that they had to go in for the interviews with Social Services. And Lin'd had to talk to someone from the Metropolis DA's office about Lionel.

He'd been videotaped both times, and later Lian said he had too. The questions were. . . invasive. And before his statement against Lionel, one of his father's lawyers had tried to threaten him in the hallway. Lin had felt kinda bad for the guy. Being sent all this way with the express purpose of making Lin change his position, the guy now had to go back and tell Lionel he'd failed. Lin knew they probably wouldn't be seeing that lawyer again. Lionel didn't respond well to failure.

Colin hadn't told either Family Services or the lady from the District Attorney's office everything. Of course. If he did. . . well, he'd be put into a mental asylum (one of Lionel's, no doubt) and Lian would be back in Metropolis. . . alone with their father.

So he only told them about the sex and the control, and not even all of that, either. He pretended to not remember everything, like a human. He pretended and lied and wasn't surprised by how easy and natural it felt. He just called up Lian's face for motivation, and then thought of how Lionel lied. Lionel was the best liar Colin had ever seen, and he did it by infusing each falsehood with just enough truth to not contradict himself in later retellings. So, Colin forced himself to speak and lied with almost every sentence. But they were mostly lies of omission, so he didn't feel all that guilty.

No one would be hurt by him withholding some information. Lionel would still be indicted, and Lian and Lex would be still be safe.

Even if he did choke up and stumble over his words a few times, it wasn't any big deal in the scheme of things. No one wanted to hear the details of how that knife had felt sliding through his spinal cord, or what his own blood tasted like.

Lex wasn't a very thorough packer. He'd never thought to check Lin's coat pocket and now the damn cell phone wouldn't stop ringing. Lin had turned the sound off, but somehow he couldn't make himself just power the thing down. Or smash it into powder.

He'd probably been trained too well. 'Always answer, Colin. I won't tolerate disobedience, not in you.'

It was Saturday afternoon. Yesterday had been the statement. Poor Nick had looked even more freaked out then than he had during the first telling. Evidently, the doctor from yesterday wanted to put Lin on drugs right away, said he needed immediate help, told Nick they should admit him to the psych ward in the hospital -- under suicide watch. Colin secretly agreed with the guy, but he would kill before he allowed anyone to lock him up again.

Lionel was calling. The light on the phone was on, and the display read 'Answer, Lin.' Bastard had put that on there special, just for him.

But he wouldn't pick up. Lionel must have gotten word of what was going on, and wanted to sink his teeth back into them, but Lin wasn't going to play along. He wasn't.

When the psychiatrist had asked him how he felt about himself, he had to think about it. If he told him the truth, they'd try for the hospital. And if Lin attempted to lie, he wasn't sure how well he could pull it off. There was no amount of truth he could put into saying something other than that he disgusted himself.

He really should just throw the damn phone out the window, but instead his finger hit the 'Send' button, and he heard Lionel's breathing. How many times had Lin felt that man's breath on him? How many more would he? Somewhere deep inside, Lin knew this was only temporary. Lionel would never really let any of them escape. Soon he'd be back in that chamber, and Lex and Lian would be Lionel's devoted servants and all Lin would be able to think about was how it had felt to be dead.

"Well, I see all that time spent on you wasn't a waste, after all. Do I really have to spell out what you are going to do, Lin? Or are you smart enough to figure it out for yourself?"

He tried thinking of Liza's smile when he'd shown her the finished painting of her and Lian. Lex's laugh the other day when Lian had made antlers with his hands while standing behind Bruce's chair. The feeling of waking up in a bed with no one else in it.

The sun on his face as he and Lex and Bruce rode horses yesterday, the wind blowing flakes of snow at them that stuck to Bruce's eyelashes. Lex's smiles and his arms and the way he turned his head and looked at Lin when he thought no one else saw him.

Lex and Lian and Bruce.

And Lillian.

But no matter how hard he tried, every picture in his head melted into Lionel. Julian had his father's nose and mouth and Lex used the same gestures as Lionel did when he talked.

"I'm not going to come. . . back," he tried to say. But his voice was barely a whisper, and even he couldn't hear the last part.

"Oh, my boy, you are so predictable. Do you think I don't know where you are? That I don't have someone inside that house right this moment?" Lionel sighed into the phone. "I don't need to know what you're planning, Lin. You've gone against me, and now things are going to be most unpleasant for all of us, I'm afraid.

"We'll try this: either you're here in my office within twenty minutes, or I'll make sure everyone knows what I know. And I do have proof. Enough of it to make your stay in the tank look like a vacation in the Amalfi Coast. Do it, Lin, or by the end of it you'll beg me to take you back, if only to stop what they'll do to you."

And with that, Lionel hung up and he was left in his room in Bruce's house with the itchy feeling. He knew this feeling like he knew Lex's face, and it was a comforting one now. It came upon him quick and beautifully, and its tongue reminded him that he had enough meteorites to do the job this time.

He'd hoarded all he could after the last time he'd tried to kill himself, and it was still in the keepsake box, the false bottom invisible even to Lex.

If he swallowed them all, one right after another, then he could probably get them down before his throat closed up. If he saved one, though. . . he could use it to cut himself, and then he'd have two ways of dying and no one could get him to heal the cuts while the meteorites were still in his stomach. He'd bleed out, and then there'd be no way that Lian would be given back to Lionel. They'd find the phone and check the last call, and everything would fall into place. Lex would get Julian permanently, Lionel would be sent to jail, and Lex, Bruce, and Lian would all live happily together.

And Lin wouldn't have to tell them anything about anything. It was a good plan.

He got up then, and carefully placed the cell phone on the bed where they'd find it. He walked to the bedside table and pulled open the second drawer from the top. Reaching inside, his hands curled around the wooden case and he slid it out. He opened it and gently, lovingly took out all the important things Lionel had tried to destroy. Placing them next to the cell phone on the bed, he then pulled the false bottom out of the box and lifted up the smaller lead case. Carrying it into the bathroom, he set it down on the counter and looked at himself in the mirror. Thin and white and big eyes and too much hair. Colin hated that boy staring back at him so much in that moment that he slid out the top drawer of the vanity and took up the pair of scissors gleaming and winking at him.

With his hair shorter, he thought he looked more like an alien. It stuck up in uneven tufts and his head felt so much lighter. Like he was already drifting away.

The plan was a good one, he told himself. And it would've worked--

--had Lex decided not to come looking for him.

***