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Five weeks after Willy’s shop opened and the laundry crew rented a flat, the adults woke to screaming.
Well, all but one adult.
Piper was first to make it to the source, reaching blindly for the cool, brass handle and yanking open the door. Abacus, Larry, and Lottie were right behind, fear pooling in their bellies. Each could already tell the sounds were coming from Noodle, her voice repeating two words in varying amounts: help, and Willy.
The girl’s head whipped around as the four barged in, eyes wide enough to see the white. She was kneeling on the bed she shared with Willy, hands clutched to his nightshirt and terror clear in every limb.
“What happened? What’s wrong?” Abacus started, hurrying towards the bed.
“He- he’s not waking up!” She gasped out, looking torn between staying glued to his side or running to them. They reached her before she could decide, already moving to check on Willy.
To anyone else, the simple statement that he wasn’t waking up wouldn’t be alarming. Maybe a bit odd, considering the commotion, but not enough to warrant the sudden fear that seized Piper’s heart. The thing was, Willy was a light sleeper. Incredibly so, to the point that someone quietly opening the door to his room would easily pull him from sleep.
He’d once told Piper why this was, and on a base level, his time on various ships and with questionable people had essentially destroyed his ability to sleep soundly. He had never failed to wake at even the slightest noise, however worrying that was for his sleep schedule.
Piper’s hand went immediately to his chest once she got close enough, relief surging through her as she felt the tell-tale rise and fall of breathing. For a moment, she had so vividly imagined him too still.
But he was alive, even if this was still beyond concerning.
“He’s breathing,” she said, fingers going to his throat and pressing down so she could feel his pulse. It was steady, but slow. Too slow, she thought, even for someone sleeping.
“Noodle, come here,” Lottie said, gently tugging the girl off the bed so the others could get closer. She was still crying, but she let the women pull her away, though her eyes stayed glued to Willy. Soon, each of them had a hand on him, the worry almost palpable in the air.
Piper took his shoulders, jostling him carefully. She assumed Noodle had already tried something of the sort, but a part of her still hoped that he would just open his eyes. That he was only exhausted enough to sleep through all this, not whatever was happening to him now.
“We need more blankets,” Larry pointed out, noticing how icy his skin was and already moving to fetch some. Lottie joined him, coaxing Noodle to come along with her. Piper turned to Abacus, seeing her same anxiety reflected in his eyes.
“What if he…” Piper started, not wanting to say her thoughts aloud. But all she could imagine was Willy’s breathing slowing more, him not getting enough oxygen, them not finding a way to fix this before he went downhill further.
“Nothing’s going to happen,” Abacus said, the words sounding like a fact even though they were wrapped in uncertainty. “We’ll find a way to help him.”
Piper nodded, taking one of Willy’s hands and rubbing her thumb along his palm. His fingers were almost as pale as his face, long and limp in her grasp.
“Do you think we should try to wait it out? I mean…he’s hardly breathing as it is. I don’t want to risk losing precious time because we don’t get him help right away.”
Abacus considered, eyes on Willy’s face. “I could go find a doctor. Someone who will come here.”
“It’s worth a shot,” Piper responded, trying not to think the worst. Maybe this was all a common sickness that a physician could easily diagnose and fix. Maybe they were just overreacting, and he simply needed the rest enough that he would only wake when he was ready.
The others reentered the room as Abacus nodded, each with a heap of blankets piled in their arms. Piper began to pull them from the stack, tucking them around Willy.
“Me and Larry will go find a doctor. Just…well. Let’s just hope he’ll be okay until we get back,” Abacus said, hand lingering on Willy’s shoulder for another moment before he stepped away.
Lottie and Noodle joined Piper on the edge of the bed, sharing worried glances. Even if they did find someone, it was hardly morning, and chances were that help simply wouldn’t be available.
“Do you think he’s going to wake up?” Noodle asked, voice timid as she tore her gaze from Willy to look up at Piper.
With a sigh, Piper reached to take Noodle’s hand. “I hope so. I think he’ll fight his way back to us if he can.”
Noodle’s gaze flickered down, tears welling in her eyes. She couldn’t even imagine a world without Willy, without the hope and laughter he brought into her life. She would rather spend the rest of her days trapped at the laundry than without him.
“We’ll just be here with him. Wait it out while the doctor comes.”
Noodle could only nod, every possibility playing in her head like a movie on repeat, only showing the bad parts. Imagining Willy not coming back felt like her heart tearing apart, like she would never be okay again. And there had been no chance for warning, for goodbyes. Nothing but their usual chapter before bed, Willy reading over her shoulder and falling asleep before the chapter ended like he always did.
Please don’t let that be the last time he falls asleep.
-o-
Willy woke feeling very, very cold. It was the first thing he noticed, right before he realized his limbs were completely numb and his heartbeat was pounding through his chest like a metronome.
He didn’t think it was meant to be that slow.
He made to move, to sit up so he could puzzle out where he was and why everything was so fuzzy, but his eyes wouldn’t even open. He laid there for a moment, suspended in time as panic quickly encroached his lungs. But he didn’t breathe any faster, like he would have expected. Instead, it was like he had been torn from his own body, floating blindly as he waited for a reprieve from this…what even was it? Unconsciousness? Or some other force freezing his body?
Either way, he could hardly tamp down the sudden fear anymore. It settled between his ribs as he tried desperately to open his mouth and say something, even though none of his previous attempts to move had proven successful.
What’s happening to me?
With what should have been a deep breath, he forced himself to stop and think. There had to be a reason for this.
But even logic couldn’t suppress the fear. Anything he thought of made no sense, and only served to make him feel as if he were spiraling even more.
Perhaps the scariest part of it all was that he was awake. He wasn’t in some half-conscious state, unable to think clearly enough to realize how terrifying this was.
He could still feel everything, still think anything, but it didn’t matter.
He wondered if his friends knew this was happening. If they’d woken up to him so still, or if it was the middle of the night and everyone was sleeping. He hoped it was the former, though the thought of Noodle watching something like this happen was almost worse than the actual predicament. She had already been through so much, and he already knew the guilt that would pile on his shoulders if something else awful happened.
As the minutes passed, he felt motion. At least, he thought he felt something, but his senses were so dulled that he could hardly tell what was touching him. At least it was something, though, instead of the timeless void he’d been in for the past… minutes? Hours? It certainly felt longer than that.
As he concentrated on trying to figure out what was going on around him, he heard voices. They were muffled and it almost sounded like they were speaking through water, but he could tell exactly who they belonged to. It made a part of him loosen in relief that his friends were around him, most likely trying to help. Still, they sounded worried, and he hated to scare them. Especially now that he couldn’t do a single thing about it.
He listened for anything he could understand, but eventually they stopped talking and his world went back to that strange, dulled quiet. This time, though, someone was holding his hand, a small spot of warmth in the numbing cold and terror he felt everywhere else.
-o-
“He’s getting colder…” Lottie murmured, rubbing a hand up and down Willy’s arm. Piper pressed her lips together, knowing Lottie was right. As the minutes ticked by and sunlight peeked through the sheer curtains, Willy only got worse, hands becoming like ice and breathing even more sluggish than before.
It was like watching him die in slow motion.
“They should be back soon with the doctor,” Piper said, though she wondered if this was even something a professional would know how to fix. It had come on so suddenly and intensely that they could only hope there was a cure that worked just as quickly. “Do we have any more blankets?”
Lottie shook her head. “This is all of them.”
Moving a hand to Willy’s cheek, Piper closed her eyes. She couldn’t let herself stare at his white skin anymore, usually so full of life but now practically gray.
She felt Noodle move beside her, scooting closer to Willy as she sniffed, obviously trying to hide her crying.
“Noodle,” she murmured, looking back up and holding out her arms. The girl glanced over before complying, moving higher up on the bed to crawl into her lap. She buried her head in Piper’s shirt, tears only worsening. Rubbing her back lightly, Piper rocked back and forth, hating how the girl’s breath hitched and the trauma this event would no doubt cause.
“He can’t- he can’t die,” Noodle stuttered out, shaking her head. “We just got out, he can’t leave-“
“Shh, I know. I know it’s scary. But he’s still here. He’s still breathing, and they’re going to get a doctor who can help.”
“I just want him to come back.”
Piper could only hold Noodle tighter at those words, knowing they all felt the same way. It was different for Noodle, though, with her being so young and Willy being her person. The one who’d been there for her since the moment they met, the one who’d freed her from the horrible life she’d always expected to have.
It was like torture, not being able to simply shake Willy awake so he could hold Noodle and comfort her like he always did.
By the time Noodle’s tears dried up and they were left in silence, they only had to wait a little longer for the door to open. Abacus and Larry entered, followed by a man with crow’s feet revealing his age and a leather bag over his shoulder.
“No change?” Abacus whispered, sitting next to Piper and gesturing for the man to join them at the bed.
She shook her head. “The doctor?”
“Yes. He brought his supplies, so if he can help, he will.”
The doctor reached out, shaking Piper’s hand. “You can call me doctor Dorns. I was told it’s urgent?”
“Yes, it’s our friend, we found him like this maybe…two hours ago? He won’t wake up, and he’s hardly breathing,” Piper replied, standing and stepping away from the bed as the doctor nodded, already setting to examining Willy. They watched him enact a series of basic exams, his expression not betraying any emotions as he took Willy’s pulse and listened to his chest. After a few minutes of anxious hovering from the group, the man turned around.
“Is she okay to hear this?” He asked, smiling gently at Noodle.
The girl nodded, edging into Piper’s side as she glanced up with hollow eyes. Piper nodded, as well, gesturing for the doctor to continue.
“Alright. Well, I won’t sugarcoat this. I believe a paralytic agent found its way into his bloodstream, one way or another. It’s suppressing his…well, everything, which is what’s causing him to breathe so slowly and get so cold. His body isn’t running fast enough, so his heart isn’t pumping enough blood, which leads to a cycle that will only make things worse.”
As nice as it was to have answers, the words felt like ice water being dumped over their heads. This sounded final, like something that happened and didn’t stop until his heart was so weak that-
“There’s something we can do, though, right? A cure…some kind of antidote?” Larry asked, hands twisting in front of him.
The doctor pursed his lips. “In some cases, yes. But since we don’t know what this is coming from, it’s practically impossible to tell what we need to use.”
Piper felt Noodle’s hands curl into her pant leg and pulled her a little closer as the doctor kept speaking.
“However, there is a chance. Many paralytics wear off quickly enough that they don’t kill their victims, so he could pull through. It all depends on timing.”
In that moment, Piper would have given anything to guarantee that would be the result. That Willy would wake up, however weak, and be okay.
“Do you think that will happen?” Abacus asked.
“We can hope,” the doctor said, placing a hand on Abacus’ shoulder. “And there are a couple things we can do to potentially prolong his time, for now. It’s great that you’ve brought out all these blankets, but actual body heat will work better and keep him warmer for longer.”
“So we just…hold him? Is that enough?” Piper asked, wondering why she hadn’t thought of it before.
“It should help. And if you’re able to sit him up a bit while you’re at it, he might be able to breathe easier.”
Piper nodded, glad there was at least something they could do. Something to give them a bit of hope, even if the doctor’s reassurances were just a mask to the crinkle of worry around his eyes.
“Thank you,” Lottie said, shaking his hand with a tight smile.
“It’s no problem. Now, I’m afraid duty calls, but I can come back later if you need.”
“You said there’s nothing else you can do?” Piper didn’t really want to hear the confirmation, but she felt bad making him come back if there was nothing to come back to.
“No. I’m sorry.”
“Then it’s alright. We’ll take care of him.”
The doctor smiled, tipping his hat before turning for the door. They watched him disappear, hopes somehow trampled and risen at the same time. On one hand, Piper could tell from his tone alone how dire this was. That he didn’t think Willy would get better.
On the other, at least they had answers. At least they knew it was possible that he would come back to them.
“Alright,” she said, interrupting the quiet of worry. “I’m going to lay with him to keep him warm, you all should go get something to eat. He would want you to take care of yourselves.”
Lottie managed a small smile, nodding. “You have a point. But we’ll be back soon.”
“Can I stay? I want to help,” Noodle asked, holding back as the others began exiting.
Piper considered for a moment. “Yes. I think he would want to have you here.”
Noodle’s head bobbed as he looked back at Willy, crawling over his legs to his other side. Piper carefully slipped halfway under him, making sure his head was at a comfortable angle before tugging the blankets further up. Somehow, the larger-than-life chocolatier who never seemed to slow down now seemed so small, so fragile in her arms. Every breath he took was so shallow, like rocks were piling at the bottom of his lungs with each minute.
Noodle had curled up against him, arms wrapping around his stomach as she buried her face in his shirt. Piper could only hope that this wouldn’t end in tragedy as she ran a hand through his hair (messy, as usual, which was such a strange contrast to this sudden switch in everything else about him), doing her best not to picture a life where they had to mourn someone so important.
And how did he feel? Was he awake, just unable to do anything because of whatever paralytic that had invaded his system?
Something cold washed over her at the thought of him being completely trapped, feeling his own lungs slowly give out. It sounded like the worst kind of pain, only emphasized by the fact that they couldn’t do anything about it either. Only sit here on the other side and try to keep him warm and pray that he would survive.
-o-
Someone was holding him when Willy woke up again. They were blessedly warm against his side, and it made him feel more real to have someone right there instead of just cloudy blankets and the too-soft mattress.
He tried not to focus on how much it hurt to breathe, now. He had no idea how long it’d been, but his chest felt like it was weighed down by concrete. Each breath was harder than the last, and he wondered if this was it. If this was how he died, suffocating while he couldn’t even move while his friends tried to save him.
He knew they would try, at least. None of them were prone to giving up, and he’d be surprised if they hadn’t already done everything they could.
The thought was comforting and made him feel at least a little hopeful, but if he was right, there wasn’t a cure. There wasn’t a way for them to fix this. To fix him, so he didn’t just die here in someone arms.
He assumed it was Piper. Noodle was too small to provide this much heat, and the women had always been good at caring for him. Even when he was sure he’d done a good job at hiding something, she always knew something was wrong. Could always tell if he wasn’t himself or if he hadn’t slept enough or if he was stressed about one thing or another.
It made him feel loved in a way he hadn’t in a very long time.
And then there was Noodle. Even the thought of leaving her made panic flutter inside him. He’d finally fulfilled his promise to get her out of the laundry, and he’d always planned to take care of her forever. Give her everything she needed and make sure she knew how loved she was, because she deserved worlds better than the treatment she’d received for nearly eleven years.
And he knew the others would take care of her if he didn’t make it through this. He trusted them fully, but it wouldn’t never be the same.
He dragged in another breath, head aching along with his heartbeat.
Please don’t let this be it.
-o-
At the six-hour mark since they’d found Willy like this, he started really struggling. Every breath was closer to a wheeze, and his pulse had gotten so slow and weak that Piper couldn’t find it in his wrist for a terrifying few seconds.
“Where’s Noodle?” She asked, glancing up at Lottie, who had one of Willy’s hands clutched in hers. Larry held the other, the three of them clinging to him like they could keep him alive with sheer willpower.
“Abacus took her to make her eat something. It’s almost noon.”
Almost noon, and yet it felt like days had passed since they woke to Noodle’s cries of distress.
“That’s good,” she murmured, bringing her free hand to Willy’s forehead.
“Were you thinking she should…” Larry trailed off, but they all knew what he meant to say. The words just felt so wrong.
“I don’t know. I don’t want her to have to say goodbye when we don’t know for sure, but it would be worse if something happened and she hadn’t gotten more time with him.”
Lottie nodded, squeezing Willy’s fingers. “I hope he’s not in pain.”
Piper closed her eyes, forcing back tears. “Me too. But I also want him to know we’re here.”
“He knows, I think,” Larry said, voice thoughtful but full of melancholy. “If he’s in there. He knows we would be here.”
Piper nodded. There was really nothing else to say, no other hope to voice aloud. They hadn’t been able to do anything to save him from the beginning, and they couldn’t now.
But they’d had him while they could. And he’d changed all their lives.
He was the last person who deserved something like this.
She looked over as the door opened, Noodle and Abacus entering and making their way to the bed to find spots to sit. Larry let go of Willy’s hand so Noodle could take it, kind smile on his face.
“Noodle,” Piper started, not sure how to say it. Noodle was smart, she knew Willy was only going downhill, but telling a little girl her best friend was probably going to die was like tearing someone’s heart in half. “We might have to let him go.”
Even with how softly she spoke, her voice sounded loud in the stillness of the room.
Noodle’s shoulders shook, and the tears that she’d been holding back all day finally surfaced, streaming down her face as she shook her head. “He can’t. He can’t, he promised he wouldn’t leave me.”
Piper pulled away from Willy, gingerly settling his head back on the pillow, and pulled Noodle into her lap. The girl didn’t protest, letting Piper hug her as she sobbed.
She wondered how this had all happened so fast. Why out of everyone, Noodle had to be the one suffering after a life already full of hardships and trauma.
-o-
The room was silent, save for Willy’s rasping breaths, as they waited. Noodle had curled into his side again, and everyone else was touching him in some way. It felt like goodbye, like they were all just trying to memorize his face and think of all the good he’d brought into their lives.
Then Lottie gasped, eyes widening as the others’ heads snapped up to see what was wrong.
“What is it?”
“He- he just moved, I swear-“ Lottie began, incredulous eyes trained on Willy’s hand. “His fingers, I felt it-“
Piper tried not to dare hope, but even a tiny chance was still a chance. And a chance was really all they needed.
“Are you sure? Absolutely sure?”
Lottie nodded, everything suddenly different. There was a moment of silence as everyone stared, hope catching like fire.
Noodle moved from Piper’s lap, kneeling as close as she could get to Willy. She was still crying, though the tears had grown more desperately wanting, like if he didn’t wake up now, nothing would ever be okay again.
Piper reached over Willy to squeeze Lottie’s hand, watching as slowly, so slowly, his chest rose faster a few times. Then again, and then his heartbeat was quickening and he was going to wake up, going to come back to them-
Piper cupped his face, watching as leadenly, miraculously, his eyes opened.
“There you are,” she whispered, managing to keep her voice from shaking. She could practically feel the relief in the room as he looked up at her, gaze full of desperation as he registered their presence.
“You’re coming back. You’re coming back, it’s okay, Will,” she continued, hoping he was registering their voices.
“Willy,” Noodle managed, only crying more as she hovered over him, now clinging to his hand.
His eyes fluttered as he drew in a few deep breaths, each stuttering precariously. Lottie rubbed a hand over his chest, brow scrunching. “It sounds like he can’t breathe right…”
Piper could only shake her head, thinking that anything would be better than what had been happening for hours. “I don’t know…but he’s- he’s okay, I think he’s just coming out of it slowly.”
Abacus nodded, taking Willy’s wrist to feel his pulse. It wasn’t near where it should be, but it was there, and that had to be enough.
It only took another minute for Willy to begin moving his mouth like he was trying to speak, frustration evident in his eyes as no sound came out.
“Shh, don’t talk, Will. Just relax. You’ve been through a lot,” Piper said, brushing a few stray curls from his face.
Her reassurances didn’t seem to curb the increasing panic in every part of him, only growing as he was finally able to move, to force himself to take deeper and faster breaths. He dragged in air like he hadn’t had any in days, blinking through blurred vision.
“Hey, hey, Will, you gotta calm down. You have to breathe slow.” She gradually shifted him more upright, pulling him into her arms as he trembled and wheezed. Noodle stuck right by his side, curling around his back and pressing her face against him.
He was almost completely limp, and still so cold that holding him was like touching ice. A few shudders ripped through him as he sucked in more desperate breaths, and Piper could only imagine how terrifying this must be for him. Hardly in control, just trying to not suffocate after such a close escape from death.
“We’re all right here,” she murmured, running a hand over his hair. “We’ll get you all warm and taken care of, but you have to breathe slow. You’ll pass out if you don’t get enough air.”
His chest still spasmed, but she could feel him manage a weak nod against her throat. For the next minutes, they waited, Abacus rubbing his back as Noodle and Piper kept hugging him.
It took enough time that Piper wondered if he’d fallen asleep, but he finally shifted back, still wobbly and shivering but able to hold himself up. There was a kind of hollowness in his eyes, like he was trying to push back all the awful things until he could process them better. Piper couldn’t blame him, though she knew it would hit him hard later.
“T-that was scary,” he got out, eyes flicking from Piper to the others to Noodle. She nodded, swiping away a few tears as he held out his arms for her. It didn’t take more than a moment for her to curl into him, looking as if she would never let go. His face was buried in her hair as he wound both arms around her, not saying anything else.
He didn’t have to, really. They all knew what his few words truly entailed.
“You can’t d-do that a-again,” Noodle insisted, pulling back enough so she could look at him.
He shook his head, voice strained as he spoke. “I won’t. I’m back, now.”
Noodle nodded, going straight back to tuck herself into his chest. He didn’t protest, leaning his head tiredly on hers.
“We should get some food and water in you, Willy,” Lottie pointed out, already fetching the glass of water from the bedside table. Piper hadn’t even noticed it there, but she knew they all had unique ways of caring, so she could guess someone else had gotten it ready before they even knew he was waking up.
“Agreed,” Piper said, placing a supporting hand on Willy’s back as Lottie brought the cup to his lips. He only managed a couple sips before he turned his head away, swallowing compulsively until he got his breath back.
“Gonna feel sick,” he whispered, sounding far too apologetic for the situation.
“It’s okay. We can try more later,” Lottie said, giving a reassuring smile.
“Let’s get you lying down, okay? Noodle can still stay right by you, but I’m just worried you’ll tire yourself out sitting for too long,” Piper said, already seeing him fight back yawns and force his eyes to stay open. Even though he’d technically been asleep for the last day and night, he looked exhausted.
He nodded, letting them help him back to the pillow and drape a blanket over him. As promised, Noodle laid by his side, head falling to the crook of his neck.
It hardly took a minute before his eyes were closed, breathing steadier than it had been for hours. Piper sighed, placing a light hand on Noodle’s shoulder.
“Sleep, honey. It’s been a long day.”
-o-
Willy woke to soft voices and dim light, casting shadows over the figures around his bed. At first, everything was normal, and he wondered why everyone was in his room.
Then the memories came rushing back, full of panic and that awful feeling of suffocation. The thought made his breath catch, and he had to force himself to not let the frantic energy thrumming through his veins consume him.
His friends were already turning to him as he blinked sleep out of his eyes, moving to sit up. His arms trembled, probably the remnants of whatever had paralyzed him still fading.
Paralyzed. It was hard to wrap his head around that, but at the same time, it was all so vivid that he could hardly reassure himself that he was fine.
“How are you feeling?” Abacus asked, worry crinkling his eyes.
Willy considered. In all honesty, his entire body ached and all he wanted was to curl up and sleep for another hundred years, but he didn’t want to worry them. Especially with Noodle right there, so much hope in her eyes as she watched him.
“Better,” he answered, because it was true. Nothing could be worse than how it had felt to lay there as his lungs gave out, unable to even see the people around him or talk.
“Are you hungry? It’s been a while since you even drank that water,” Noodle said, making Willy wonder what time it was. He could tell it was dark outside, but that could have been anywhere from late night to early in the morning.
“Not really,” he said. The thought of eating made his stomach churn, though he didn’t know why. He should have been hungry.
He watched Piper’s brow furrow as she reached over to feel his forehead, waiting a moment before moving her hand to his shoulder. “You really should eat, though. That probably took a lot out of you.”
Willy shrugged, knowing she was right. And he knew they would all just worry more if he didn’t at least try to get something down.
“Okay. Just something small?”
“Yeah. I’ll go heat up some soup,” she responded, giving him a sympathetic smile before leaving the room.
Willy turned back to Noodle as she grabbed his hand. He managed a small smile, squeezing her fingers and hoping that he hadn’t scared her too badly.
“Can we read later?” She asked, and he could hear the tremor of tears still in her voice. “After you eat?”
“That sounds like a great idea,” he said, watching her shoulders droop with the promise of familiarity. “Did you sleep?”
“Yeah. But you should be worrying about yourself, Willy.”
“I’ll always worry about you. I’m perfectly alright.”
She gave him a look that said she knew that wasn’t fully true, but sighed. “We’re almost done with Alice in Wonderland.”
“Ahh, I remember. Only a few chapters left?”
Noodle nodded, grinning. “And they’re the best ones. If you don’t fall asleep five minutes into reading.”
…she had him there. He’d never actually made it through a whole chapter without falling asleep.
Though, didn’t think that would be a problem, now. Sleep seemed very, very far away at the moment.
“I won’t,” he promised, already looking forward to the distraction.
Piper returned with the soup, then, the bowl steaming and smelling absolutely heavenly. Still, he only made it a few spoonfulls in before his stomach rebelled at even the mild broth.
He saw a flicker of anxious worry cross Piper’s face, but she pulled the bowl away, setting it on the bedside table. “It’s alright. We’ll work on it.”
Noodle grabbed their book as Willy scooted back so he could lean against the pillows. He didn’t want to admit it, but even sitting up made him feel far too weak.
For the next hour, Noodle read aloud, sitting next to Willy with her legs tucked up. Everyone stayed in the room, easily catching on to the story even if they hadn’t heard the rest of the book. Willy tried to hold on to each moment of peace, wishing they didn’t have lingering fear hovering over them, causing everyone’s gazes to drift over to him more often than not.
True to his predication, Willy didn’t even get close to sleep. Even though he felt heavier than the entire ocean, his mind was racing and when he let his eyes close, all he felt was panic. It came on so fast that he gasped, jolting as his eyes snapped back open. Noodle stopped reading, turning to him worriedly. He shook his head, trying to catch his breath.
“I’m fine. Just…I’m alright.”
He wasn’t sure if his voice was convincing in the slightest, but Noodle did go back to the book, even if she scooted a little closer to him. Piper laid a comforting hand on his arm, rubbing up and down. They knew there wasn’t much to do other than give him time.
-o-
Willy hadn’t been sleeping. Not since he first did after the paralysis wore off.
It had been more than a nearly two days since he’d woken up the first time, and everything about him screamed exhaustion. He could hardly pay attention to a conversation or Noodle’s stories, and it seemed each blink lasted longer than the last.
But every time she tried to get him to lie down and rest, he insisted he was fine.
And of course, she understood that it was because sleep had started the whole situation in the first place. He was probably terrified of closing his eyes, of something like that happening again. But now it was bordering on scary, how detached he was. How he spent half his time with glazed eyes and hardly enough energy to eat the small amount of food they practically forced down his throat.
Lottie had taken Noodle to the market for a bit of fresh air (even at her begging to stay with Willy), presenting Piper with some time to try and get him to sleep. She knew part of the reason he was working so hard to stay awake was because Noodle was there, because he didn’t want to scare her, but his mask was failing more often than not, now. She wasn’t sure how much longer he’d last before his body simply lost the fight with consciousness, forcing him to rest.
Noodle and Lottie had just left when Piper entered the room, seeing Willy on the edge of the bed. He was fiddling with one of his scarves, and didn’t even look up until she sat by his side.
“Hey, Piper.”
“Hey, Will.”
He didn’t say anything else, fingers wrapping around a loose thread.
“Willy,” she said again, leaning down so she could see his face better.
He met her eyes, deep circles ringing his.
“You don’t have to be okay. Not after that,” she whispered, tucking a stray curl behind his ear.
He made to respond, but no words came out. Just a silent hitch in his chest, like all the trauma and fear was gathering in his ribs to suffocate him.
Piper didn’t wait to pull him into her arms, hating the way he trembled as he leaned against her, head falling to her shoulder. She wondered if he’d even stopped shaking since he’d woken up.
“I’m so tired,” he whispered, voice nearly silent and filled with a precipice of tears, like one more thing would send him breaking into pieces.
“I know,” she soothed, rubbing a hand up and down his back. “I know. You have to let yourself sleep.”
“I can’t, I can’t do that again, Piper-“ he cut himself off, taking a couple deep breaths that only reminded him of how hard it had been to get enough air when he was paralyzed. Like wet sand was pressing in on him, so heavy and dark and without an escape in sight.
“You can. I promise we’ll be here, and I don’t think that could happen again. The doctor said you must have ingested something, and you’ve hardly eaten in days.”
“I know, it’s just- it’s like I can’t recognize that I’m safe so I can’t close my eyes because that means I’ll be right back there.”
He paused, gaze fixed on the wall over her shoulder as he tried to gather his thoughts through a haze of exhaustion. “I could hear you all. When I was…you know.”
That was one thing Piper had worried about. Well, she had really just hoped he wasn’t awake, able to feel and think and hear but not do much else. That had gone out the window once he woke up, though, as much as she wished he would be spared the trauma of it all.
“Noodle was…she sounded so scared and I just wanted to help but I couldn’t and it made everything worse because you were all so worried-“
“Of course we were, Will…of course we were terrified you wouldn’t wake up. But it’s not your fault. None of it. So don’t beat yourself up, we’re just glad you came back to us. It’s enough.”
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his hair brushing her neck as he shifted closer. Piper squeezed him right back, and all she could think of was the time before he came to them. Back when he was on the open seas, never tied down and never with anywhere- or anyone- to call home. In the end, she knew all anyone needed was people, and she couldn’t imagine not having their little group, however mismatched it was.
It made her hold him a bit tighter, promising herself that she would keep making sure he was okay. That they would all keep taking care of him. That he would never have to worry about being alone again.
“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” she promised, pulling back enough that she could hold his face, wiping a few tears away. “But I do want you to eat. Even if it’s not much.”
Willy stared at her for a moment before nodding. “I’ll try."
Piper smiled gently, leaning forward to kiss his forehead. “Thank you. Now, let’s go see what Lottie’s got cooking, shall we?”
-o-
Willy managed to get down half a meal, mostly consisting of fresh bread and water. Even though it was nowhere near how much he really needed to eat, he finally felt more full than he had in days, and the pounding in his head had lessened. He could see the relief in everyone’s faces as they finished their own food, so glad to see him improving even though he looked more exhausted than ever.
After they all ate, Piper decided she was going to make him sleep. Usually, Willy would have complete trust in whatever the woman was determined to do, but he just…couldn’t sleep. No matter what anyone said or did. It certainly wasn’t for lack of trying, but he didn’t even want to lay down and try in fear that the panic would come right back.
Still, she herded him to his room, making him lay down even with his weak protests.
“Listen,” she said, taking his hand. “I know it’s scary. I can’t imagine how it must have felt, and I understand why you don’t want to sleep. But you have to fight for it. You can’t let your body keep you awake any longer.”
Willy stared up at her, sighing. “I know,” he whispered, shifting onto his side and tugging the blanket closer. It felt almost like a shield, even though his own brain was the cause of his insomnia and fear.
“You stay here for a minute, okay? I think I have something that can help.”
He nodded, watching her go. His vision blurred every few seconds, and he didn’t know if he’d even be able to get up if he wanted to. The exhaustion came in waves, like this, one minute he was fine and the next he was so worn out that he could hardly find words.
She reentered a few minutes later with a mug, setting in down so she could help him sit up against the pillows. He drank the hot liquid at her prompting, trying to figure out what the taste was.
At his curious expression, she chuckled. “Lavender. I think if anything will help, it’s this. Should calm you down and make you sleepy.”
He nodded, taking another sip. It was different than anything he’d tasted before, but the floral notes were relaxing. He just hoped that Piper was right about it helping.
Once he’d drained the mug, Piper stood and closed the curtains on the window. The room fell dim, gentle light washing over the floor from the dreary day.
“Alright. Close your eyes, Will.”
He didn’t protest, letting his eyes fall shut even though he could guess what would happen. Like clockwork, the usual panic immediately set in, causing his heart to speed up, and he opened his eyes, taking a few quick breaths. The feeling did seem to go away a little faster than usual, though, so he wondered if Piper’s drink had helped, even if only a little.
“Piper, I can’t-“
“You can. And I hate to make you feel like this, but I’m afraid that if you go on any longer without rest that you’ll pass out. You’re killing yourself, Willy.”
She said it so gently as she moved to run a hand over his hair, but he could hear the finality in the undertones of her voice. And he knew she was right. He knew that if he didn’t sleep soon, worse things would happen than a panic attack.
“I’ll be right here with you. Just think about breathing,” she whispered, thumb stroking his forehead as his eyes slipped closed again.
This time, he wouldn’t let himself open his eyes. Even as his chest constricted, he sucked in air and latched on to the thought of sleep, of real rest for the first time in days.
True to her word, Piper stayed right by his side as he fought off the fear clawing at him. She pried his hands from the sheets as they twisted into fists, rubbing his fingers in hers to relive the tension. He could hear her murmuring encouragement above him as his breathing finally slowed and his head quieted.
It took a while, long enough that the pillow grew warm beneath his cheek, but Willy relaxed. His breaths were barely audible, and he’d managed to drag his mind completely off the subject of his paralysis. It was bliss, to lay there and a dark haze without the fear he’d grown so accustomed to over the last days.
The last thing he remembered was Piper tucking the blanket more firmly around him before the exhaustion took over, finally tugging him into a dreamless sleep.