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It was in the middle of a team up between Twoface, Joker, and Riddler when it happened; a flash of light, from Batman's direction. Pausing mid-monologue, the villains stood dumbfounded as Batman tapped at his phone.
"Hey, Batsy?" Joker was the first to speak, after some shared glances with his fellow Rogues. "Watcha doin'?"
"Nothing." Batman replied in his typical rough, gravely tone, not a trace of irony in it.
Joker, of course, found this immensely funny. His resulting laughter was so loud, it almost completely covered the sound of a very distinct ding.
"Wait." Riddler's eyes went wide. "I know that, that's the JL notificati– did you just text a photo of us to the Justice League?!"
"No." Batman's tone was the same as always, but all present could imagine he'd said that a little too quickly. He slipped his phone into his Utility Belt and fell into a fighting stance, but by then it was already too late; Riddler was already on his own phone.
"I have access to the JL chat system." Riddler explained, glancing at Joker and Twoface. Then his gaze fell back on Batman. "Oops. Uh, forget I said that."
"...I'll deal with that later." Batman muttered, already able to feel the headache that came with trying to lock Riddler out of a system he'd already gotten access to. For the third time. That year.
"Oh my God, I was right!" Riddler laughed, jumping in place and flapping his hands. "Batman sent a photo of us to the heroes' 'whose villains are hotter?' chat!"
"What?!" Joker stared between Riddler and Batman, openly gaping.
"That's a thing?" Twoface asked, incredulous, turned in the hero's direction.
(Batman couldn't answer, as he was very busy standing firmly with his arms crossed and staring resolutely to the side, trying very hard to pretend this situation wasn't really happening)
"Jokes, look! It's you during that Christmas plot last year." Riddler excitedly held up his phone for the other to see, both grinning. "And the comments are amazing, apparently that reindeer sweater actually worked for you."
"Ya– I– hehehe!" Joker, temporarily unable to form words, instead just giggled happily in the Bat's direction. While he did like that the sweater Harley made for him had been a bigger hit than he'd thought (he couldn't wait to tell her), his mind was mostly preoccupied with the knowledge that Batman had shared a photo of it, shared a photo of him.
"Oh, you liked my silver phase?" Riddler asked softly, surprised while scrolling through photos. Batman growled, but Riddler decided to take it as a 'yes'. "That almost makes me regret switching back. Almost. Green is my color, after all."
(A still-giggling Joker was completely occupied by his own thoughts, Twoface was standing stiffly and trying to ignore everything, Riddler was obsessed with what he could see on his phone — all three were entirely distracted, it was the perfect opportunity to take them down, Batman noticed.)
(If he instead smirked just a little, just for a second, and let the train wreck continue? Well, it's not like anyone would know about it.)
"Harvey, Harv!" Riddler called, energetically waving them over. "Come look at this, it's from the gala you crashed a while ago."
"It's bad enough to be mocked in the first place, we don't need to–" Twoface paused, blinking at the screen. "Huh. That's actually not a bad picture of us, if that's possible."
"Of course it's possible." Riddler huffed, rolling his eyes. His gaze caught on another photo, making him squawk "Is that Jervis's brother?!"
"Where– oh God." Twoface gasped, staring.
"Clock King?" Joker clarified, getting shaky nods in return. He burst into another round of laughter, still not fully recovered from his last one. "Batsy, I love ya, but ya gotta get bettah taste!"
"Batman's not the one that sent it." Riddler told him, one hand still holding his phone and the other busy with Harvey's, setting up a link so the other Rogues could see the chat.
"What?!" Joker rushed to peer over his shoulder, trying to get a better look at the photo. "Then who– the Martian guy?!"
"You know, he actually is kinda cute." Twoface offered, sparking an immediate debate. Because, no, Jervis's brother was not cute! But Jervis is? Yes! Why? What makes him cute and his brother not? Everything, you–!
All the while Batman watched on, no longer hiding his smirk.
(And that, my friends, is how Batman foiled an evil scheme by taking a photo and sending a text. Totally On Purpose, Definitely Not An Accident).
