Archive of Our Own

"Winter will not be long in coming."

The days have grown colder, the sun rises late and sets early, the current somber air feels sharper, even in the basement of Levi and Erwin’s house. The view of the outside, glimpsed through the small grate near the top of the room, is less colorful than just a few days ago, almost touching grey, but not quite bleak. The houses around them still have colors that stand out against nature, which seems to be resting. The collective drive of the remaining population to move forward and build something better, after so much hate and destruction, remains alive in every corner of the small town, which has been slowly but steadily expanding.

Gabi glances sideways at Falco and continues dusting one of the shelves with a colorful duster—red, yellow, green, and blue standing out against the otherwise monochrome objects and shelves. She moves it back and forth, lifting clouds of dust in the process. Levi isn't exactly a fan of buying ridiculously colored things, but Gabi and Falco managed to convince him to get the infamous duster that was at a very good price, replacing the old rags that were falling apart.

Though two years have passed since the Battle of Heaven and Earth, Gabi still has to tiptoe to reach the highest part of the shelf. Her height hasn't changed much—probably just three or four centimeters—and her hair is the complete opposite, now so long it reaches just above her hips.

“And the dust keeps piling up while you waste time,” Gabi retorts in a tone of mock reproach, trying to mimic the one Levi uses when they’re being disobedient.

Falco sighs and gets off the pile of wooden boxes that have been sitting there for a while, empty and probably forgotten by their owners. With a white bandana on his head and another one over his nose and mouth to avoid dust allergies, Falco is as obedient as ever. Gabi, on the other hand, is stubborn and prefers to clean without anything on, even though Levi always insists that protection is important. If she gets sick, he won’t do anything, which is a big lie, because Gabi knows Levi will always take care of them, no matter what.

“Can you take the boxes off up there? I need to clean properly.” Gabi gives in with a small sigh and points with the duster to the highest part of one of the shelves, where several boxes are resting, their contents unknown.

Over the course of two years, Levi and Erwin have managed to buy enough things for the modest house they live in together, where Gabi and Falco spend most of their time, treating it like their main home. Together, the four of them found the healing they needed and gradually began to build a new life alongside the rest of the survivors.

The things that remind them of the couple’s past are few and far between—a couple of Wings of Freedom insignias tucked away in drawers, courtesy of their uniforms that they managed to salvage, parts of the ODM gear stacked in a box hidden in a corner, and a few documents they keep carefully guarded. Going back to Paradis for the remnants of their belongings was an odyssey, but the promise of returning to the two children waiting for them on the other side of the mysterious ocean was enough of an incentive to do what was necessary and withdraw from the Survey Corps, who would soon unite with the Military Police and the Garrison to form a single fascist army—a group Erwin and Levi had no interest in joining.

“If Mister Levi finds dust, he won’t buy us those butter cookies we saw the other day at the market.” Gabi murmurs, covering part of her mouth with her hand, trying not to be heard by Levi, who's upstairs preparing the afternoon snack.

Falco drops his dirty rag on the floor and walks over to where Gabi is. The shelf is high for both of them, though he can reach it better than Gabi if he climbs onto the small wooden stool that's always forgotten in a corner of the basement. Erwin, being quite tall, doesn’t need help reaching things, and Levi never cleans the basement because there’s too much to move and his physical condition isn’t the best.

“Are you doing this just for some cookies?” Falco says in disbelief, though there’s a playful tone in his words.

Gabi hits his shoulder with the duster, covering part of Falco’s sweater in dust, which makes them cough.

“Of course it’s also to help them!”

“You’re going to end up with your lungs full of dust at this rate,” Falco scolds, climbing onto the wooden stool and stretching his arms slightly forward. He feels around the sides of the boxes, which are about four in total. Judging by how easily they move with just a light push, he deduces the contents are light.

“Be careful, they could fall if you pull too hard,” Gabi warns, watching every movement of Falco with trembling eyes. She pays special attention to how just moving one box causes the others to follow suit, like a domino effect that might not end well.

"Don't worry, I’m sure there’s nothing heavy inside."

Falco leans in a little further to grab both sides of the box closest to him. The movement drags a light layer of dust across the shelf until it falls over the edge, nearly landing on the white handkerchief covering half of his face. With overflowing confidence, Falco grips the box, his hands firmly on each side, and lifts it.

The moment Gabi opens her mouth to congratulate him, her happiness is short-lived as she watches in slow motion how the other boxes next to the one Falco is holding slide off the edge and crash to the floor with a loud bang. One of the three boxes lands on Gabi’s head, making her curse in a hiss, while the other two fall on Falco’s side.

The lids of the boxes fly off, and their contents spill across the floor. They are letters. The envelopes vary in color—some are the characteristic green of the Survey Corps, even with a worn stamp decorating the top left corner, others are pale brown, dark and light gray, indigo blue, and a few are plain boring white. Most retain the red wax seal, some bearing the emblem of the Survey Corps, and others with no symbol at all.

"I told you to be careful," Gabi says, though there’s no conviction in her voice. She’s more interested in the letters than in the potential scolding they might face if Levi heard the boxes fall.

"Help me pick this up," Falco tries to suppress his worry so as not to make things worse, but Gabi gently grabs his wrist, halting his movements. Falco blushes pink at the brief contact.

"What are you talking about? Aren’t you curious to know what they say?"

"Th-That’s a little..." Falco stutters.

"How boring. Let’s just look at one—"

Gabi falls silent when she hears the basement door open, revealing a pale beam of light, as the day has been gloomy since early morning, with not a trace of warmth. The familiar sound of Levi’s cane makes both of them exchange a brief worried glance before reacting, their bodies instinctively remembering how to move under pressure. They grab handfuls of letters and stuff them back into the boxes, forgetting their original positions and mixing them up.

The stairs creak as Levi descends, and, following him, the familiar aroma of black tea reaches Gabi and Falco’s noses—caramel, hazelnut, and blueberry, mingling with the faint scent of butter cookies. Gabi’s mouth slightly opens, nearly drooling on her clothes.

“What was that noise? Are you two okay?”

Levi appears before them, descending the last few steps. The beige knitted sweater drapes over his slim figure, with the shoulders noticeably slumped, and the sleeves slightly wide before tapering at the cuffs. His favorite loose black pants cover his legs, which have lost some strength since the war ended, and his wooden cane is what he uses most daily, as it helps him stretch and exercise the muscles in his lower body.

Falco jumps to his feet, instinctively shielding part of Gabi’s body, who's now facing away from Levi as she finishes gathering the letters and covering the boxes.

“We’re fine, just a little accident.”

Levi squints slightly, accentuating the scar that runs diagonally across the right side of his face, cutting through his blind eye. Falco tries to stay close to Gabi’s back, but Levi hasn’t lost his sharpness and knows something more has happened. Besides, they’re both terrible liars.

“Gabi,” Levi calls, trying to soften his voice—a skill he’s been improving over the last two years with patience and care.

The girl forces a breezy laugh, finally getting up from the floor. She brushes off the hem of her pink dress and picks up the duster, trying to look as natural as possible. However, she forgets the small detail that, along with the duster, she’s holding one of the letters between her fingers. The white envelope shines, even amidst the faded colors of the duster.

“Oi, where did you get this?”

Gabi intends to lie, but Levi notices it in her hesitation, the lack of eye contact. There’s no way to pretend that the letters just happened to look exactly like the ones that were carefully kept in those boxes he himself put on the highest shelf, almost forcing himself to forget them and leave them in a past he wishes he didn’t have to dig up.

Levi sighs and slowly approaches Gabi, limping slightly on his left side. His cane taps against the wooden floor tiles that creak with every step. The house is big enough and cozy for Erwin and Levi—and of course for Gabi and Falco, who are an extension of their small family—but the basement is notably narrow, almost suffocating, so Levi avoids staying there longer than necessary.

“I know they’re mine,” he says, not taking his eyes off the white envelope, which brings a rush of memories to his mind that he’s tried to focus away from. “Only the Survey Corps used this kind of ink and this type of envelope.”

Gabi scratches the back of her neck, nervous, while Falco struggles to find the right words to come up with an excuse. Levi would never do anything bad to them, but his bluntness sometimes intimidates the two kids, who are no longer kids. They’ve grown exponentially, and their clothes don’t last more than a year, especially Falco, whose pant boots seem to shrink in the blink of an eye. They’re maturing, now they’re teenagers, they're becoming incredible human beings, and Levi couldn’t be prouder. There's no doubt Erwin feels the same.

“Sorry… We were cleaning with Falco, and the box fell by accident,” Gabi says, exhaling the air she had been holding in her previously tense body. She shifts the letter from her right hand to her left, handling it with care, as if even leaving fingerprints on it would be offensive.

Levi doesn’t mind that they’ve touched it, because he knows the true essence of the letters is in their content, in the words frozen in time on the paper. The envelope, the seal, and the elegant paper are mere formalities that have lost their value over time.

“We really didn’t mean to pry, but the letters slipped out,” Falco adds, trying to take the blame off Gabi, as always. Now, his white bandana, which had covered his face, rests around his neck, clearly showing his expression.

“It’s okay, brats.” Levi dismisses it with a slight gesture, tearing his gaze from the letter to assess the reaction of both kids. Falco raises an eyebrow in disbelief, and Gabi’s face contorts in various levels of happiness, rising like foam.

“Really?” Gabi asks, her eyes sparkling.

Levi raises his left hand, all five fingers intact, and gently untangles a few brown strands of Gabi’s hair, a tenderness reflected in his eye.

“Just don’t lose any, and put them back as you found them.”

“Got it!”

Gabi gives a small jump in place and extends the letter to Falco, who takes it with some doubt. Levi smiles faintly, enjoying the sight of their enthusiasm, and encourages them to grab the boxes with confidence.

The strong, persistent scent of his Dulcinea black tea pulls him back to reality. It's three-thirty in the afternoon, the time set for tea, and also the hour when Erwin usually returns home after finishing his workday at the small school where he teaches.

“If you want, take those boxes upstairs, but not before cleaning them, and let’s eat,” Levi says, eyeing the dust that covers the boxes with distaste. His hands itch with the urge to go upstairs and scrub them until the familiar sensation of dirt is forgotten. He cuts off that train of thought with resolve, tightening his grip on his cane. “The tea’s gonna get cold.”

Levi turns his back to them and listens to their energetic affirmations. They still possess the innocence of curiosity, and it comforts the part of his heart that wishes he could give them more. In a couple of years, they’ll be young adults, living their own lives far from him, busy with their personal projects, and won’t have time to visit as often. Is this what parents feel when they watch their children grow? A burst of nostalgia that constantly squeezes at their chest? Nothing lasts forever, though sometimes he wishes it did.

Carefully, Levi climbs the stairs, one step at a time. After losing his Ackerman powers, his body has endured a pain he could once ignore with ease. He no longer heals as quickly as before, and while his strength is still relatively high, it’s a shadow of what it once was. Still, he doesn’t completely miss that life. He now sees the world with different eyes—the slow passing of time, the physical difficulties that people normally face, whether it’s carrying a load of dirt or lifting something half his weight. Levi genuinely feels liberated, despite having to deal with his new limitations.

“Mr. Levi, can I help you?” Gabi overtakes him by a few steps and offers her hand.

Levi hesitates briefly, torn between feeling offended or accepting help that holds no ill intention. Besides, he wouldn’t mind, considering his left knee has been aching since this morning when he stepped out of the comfort of his bed, which still held a bit of Erwin's warmth.

“Thank you.” Levi takes Gabi's hand, and the youthful warmth she radiates makes him lift the corners of his lips into a small, almost imperceptible smile.

Falco follows closely behind, carrying the four boxes, the bandana, and the scarf forgotten somewhere in the basement. They soon leave the darkness of the basement and are met by the hallway, faintly lit by the light that filters through the distant windows.

Gabi carefully lets go of his hand and takes two of the boxes from Falco, earning a small protest.

“I can do it myself, don’t worry,” Falco insists, his chest slightly puffed out in pride, which elicits a nasal laugh from Levi.

“It’s not about you; it’s because I want to be the first to see all the letters,” Gabi laughs at him and quickens her pace.

Falco gasps in fake indignation and chases after her, causing her to walk faster, her laughter muffled. The boxes wobble in her arms, which makes Levi pay close attention in case they fall.

They cross the short hallway and enter the living room, where there's a single sofa made of dense wood. The upholstery is a combination of dark green with red and blue stripes. Like almost everything they have, it’s enough for four people. There’s a small coffee table with a tablecloth and a porcelain figure of two horses touching their noses—one white and the other black—a lovely reminder of the loyal steeds they had in the Legion.

There’s only one picture hanging on the wall, in a dark wooden frame, standing out even against the ochre paint of the walls. It’s a photograph of the four of them. Gabi and Falco are sitting, the girl with a broad smile, wearing a lovely new dress courtesy of Erwin—light pink with white squares. Falco beside her looks somewhat stiff, nervous about how the photo will turn out. He’s wearing a white turtleneck shirt and a blue wool sweater on top, a Christmas gift from Levi.

Behind them are Levi and Erwin. Erwin has a gentle smile on his pale lips, wearing a simple white t-shirt and a pale blue long coat with the buttons undone. Levi has his left hand on Gabi’s shoulder in a protective gesture, and his fascination for knitted sweaters is evident even in the photo, as he’s wearing an emerald green one. It’s no surprise that he looks serious in the picture, but the main reason is that he was intrigued by that strange device named camera. How can something made by humans stop time and capture it on a piece of paper? It’s truly amazing, which is why, after Gabi and Erwin insisted, he agreed to have a family portrait taken.

“Wait at the table, I’ll bring the food in a moment,” Levi announces before Falco can offer, as he occasionally does, to help him serve the tea and carry the tray to the dining room.

He appreciates the help, of course, but preparing and serving tea is like a sacred ritual to him. He’s done it his whole life and will continue doing so until he dies.

The kids continue their brief race, heading straight for the dining room. Levi turns left and enters the kitchen. Sticking to the routine he’s followed for over a year and a half, he pulls his favorite tea set from one of the floating shelves—white porcelain with generic rose designs—and pours three cups. He carries Erwin’s cup empty on a round tray, along with the teapot, which exhales weightless steam that warms the house a little and, in the process, his hands, which are paler than usual from the cold. He pulls out the butter cookies he secretly bought from Gabi and places a generous amount on a porcelain plate with red-edged borders.

Winter is just around the corner, as is his birthday, which he’s learned to celebrate recently with small gatherings organized, unsurprisingly, by the two kids. They invite the neighbors, Erwin’s colleagues, Gabi and Falco’s friends, and the few people Levi has interacted with during his tree planting work. He no longer fears losing those he loves, so he’s tried to open up to others and form friendly connections.

The sound of Gabi and Falco’s childish bickering snaps him out of his brief spacing out. With his cane in hand and the tray in his left hand, he walks toward the dining room.

Gabi stops what she’s doing when she sees Levi and sits properly in her chair, her eyes unable to hide her excitement at the sight of the infamous cookies. Falco imitates her and straightens his posture, after several warnings from Levi about ruining their backs if they don’t sit or walk with their backs straight. Just thinking about getting a hunchback made them follow the advice instinctively.

Levi places the tray on the round table and sits across from the kids. The huge window beside them offers a view of the front of the house—a garden with neatly trimmed grass and a few flowers that haven’t wilted out of the universe’s mercy, after Levi failed to keep flowers alive for more than three months.

There are a few nearby houses, and the surrounding terrain is mostly cobbled—a clear sign of the progressive advancements they’ve made as a community.

Levi picks up his cup from above and takes a long sip. The hot liquid slides deliciously down his throat, reaching his esophagus and finally his stomach. He remains acutely aware of every sensation his body experiences, essentially because his senses are heightened by the cold, for better or for worse.

Gabi takes three cookies and devours them eagerly. Her cheeks puff out with flour, and Falco hands her a napkin to wipe the crumbs from the corners of her mouth.

“Eat slowly, you won’t enjoy the cookies that way,” Levi places his cup back on the table, careful not to spill a single drop on the tablecloth, which took him so much effort to wash, especially after a stain from the tedious dark coffee Erwin religiously drinks every morning.

Gabi swallows half of a cookie heavily, without properly chewing. Falco is calmer, almost a reflection of Levi. He drinks his tea slowly, then takes a bite of his cookie, drinks again, and repeats the process.

“Mr. Levi,” Gabi calls after wiping her mouth again with the used napkin, which is asking for help. Carefully, she takes hold of one particular box, the one with most of the letters in monochrome envelopes, and drags it to the center of the table, a safe distance from the tea cups. “Could you tell us what the letters are about?”

Levi takes his time to answer. He sips his tea and licks a drop that rests on his lower lip.

“Erwin insisted that you study our alphabet, but you preferred to fool around outside.”

It’s not a reprimand. For Levi, there’s no greater satisfaction than knowing that Gabi and Falco, like so many other children, can finally act their age, far, far away from the battlefield and weapons. The war is a wound that slowly heals within them, allowing them to move forward.

Gabi pouts but doesn’t give up. She takes the envelope on top of the others and pulls out the letter. She squints, trying to magically decipher some of what’s written.

“I can make out some words,” Falco says, trying to sound proud, but Levi’s expectant gaze makes him hesitate. He leans toward Gabi, his eyes scanning the lines over and over until he’s sure he understands something. “Uhm, this one here is ‘morning,’ and I think this other one is ‘farewell’.”

Levi drags his chair toward Falco, sitting beside him to see better the contents of the letter, and his heart skips a beat. His eyes move quickly over the paper—five paragraphs, small, neatly organized writing, similar to what the printers in Sina used. It’s his handwriting, and it brings back the events that led him to write it.

“Not this letter.” Levi tries to mask his embarrassment, though his secret will remain safe thanks to Gabi and Falco’s lack of knowledge of the Paradis alphabet. He carefully takes the letter from Gabi, making sure not to be abrupt and damage the paper. “There are others that are more interesting.”

By "interesting," he means letters whose content is appropriate for them, and not Levi longing for Erwin in intimate ways, almost detailing every part of their encounter of that morning, describing the “farewell” that left him wanting more, even though he was still stubbornly trying to convince himself that he wasn’t a lustful person. However, Erwin proved him otherwise, again and again. It was, and is, impossible to resist him.

Levi folds the sheet of paper in several parts and holds it under the table, trying to divert their attention.

“What about this one?” Falco holds up a green envelope, indicating it’s probably one with news about the Legion.

Upon taking it and opening it, his suspicions are confirmed. July 13th, year 850, sender Levi Ackerman, recipient Erwin Smith.

“Do you really want me to read this?” Levi asks, his voice flat, unsure if this could even be remotely interesting.

“Of course we do!” Gabi responds with her mouth full, crumbs falling onto the tablecloth.

Levi nods and holds the letter with his left hand, careful not to crease the corners or wrinkle the paper.

“The 104th troop is truly surprising, not necessarily in a good way. Eren Jaeger seems to attract more trouble than usual. The only thing I can commend is that he’s good at cleaning, at least better than the rest. Still, in training, I'm reminded again of why we gave him a chance; he’s a brat whose ambitious gaze keeps me from losing faith. Erwin, are we truly getting closer to the longed freedom you emphasize in your speeches? Things have gone along within what we call 'normality.' Hange is still bent on capturing another Titan, of course, and Moblit has tried to restrain them as much as he can. Meanwhile, I can only long for your return from Mitras. I hope this time you don’t come back with the disgusting smell of those swines soaked into your clothes. If you do, I won’t even touch you with a stick, nor will I be the one to wash your clothes like last time. Nothing else to report, sincerely, Levi.”

“Oh…” is all that comes out of Falco’s mouth. Gabi remains frozen, her hands clenched into fists on the table, slightly wrinkling the tablecloth. The mention of Eren is not something they take lightly, especially when coupled with the talk of freedom, discovering the truth, and leaving the walls behind.

Levi folds the letter and carefully places it back in its envelope, avoiding looking at the kids so they won’t feel uncomfortable.

“These are times… I look back on with a certain fondness. Though babysitting that brat was exhausting,” he says to downplay the seriousness of the matter.

Falco opens his mouth and closes it again, clearly searching for the right words. Gabi exhales slowly, releasing her grip on the tablecloth and burying the memories of Eren deep within the hidden vault in her mind.

“You cared about him, didn’t you, Mr. Levi?” Falco finally asks, with that careful demeanor of his that has settled as he grows.

“He was in my squad, and I placed my hopes in him.” The memory of Eren’s face at fifteen pierces the fog in his mind, his large eyes staring back at him with conviction, as vivid as if he were standing right in front of him now. Levi takes a sip of his tea, turning his gaze back to the kids. “In the end, I suppose we all contributed to the outcome of this whole mess.”

The ticking of the kitchen clock fills the silence between them. It’s louder than usual, possibly because it’s about to break. Another reason not to buy cheap trinkets from the flea market.

“Let me find another one,” he suggests, trying to ease the tension in the room.

He pulls closer the box that’s nearest to him and rummages through the disorder of envelopes. He first reads the sender and purposefully avoids choosing one of his own. His letters were always concise, never exceeding five paragraphs, as though it were an unspoken rule he imposed on himself.

The front door creaks open, and the three of them look up, expectantly waiting to see the familiar tall, broad figure enter. Erwin’s keys jingle together, confirming that he has fully entered the house. The sound of a paper bag confirms to Levi that he’s made his weekly stop at the village market.

“Mr. Erwin!” both children call out as they see the man.

Erwin flashes a wide smile as he sees the kids waving their hands excitedly in greeting. He approaches the table and, as he passes, leaves a quick kiss on Levi’s crown, briefly inhaling the scent of his freshly washed hair from a couple of hours ago. The contact is brief, but enough for Levi, who still isn’t entirely used to public displays of affection, even if it’s just in front of the two kids.

Erwin places a paper bag on the table, inside a bottle of wine protrudes, along with rye bread, some fruits, and a box of colorful macarons that Levi doesn’t overlook. He’ll scold him later for buying them, once Gabi and Falco aren’t around. It’s fine to spoil the kids every once in a while, but Erwin is getting them used to eating sweets all the time with the excuse that “they deserve it.” It’s probably true, considering Gabi’s social work helping the sick and injured at the small community clinic, and Falco giving educational talks to younger children. However, in the long run, it won’t be good for their health, and Levi has become overly cautious about it, bordering on obsessive.

“What are you all doing gathered here? I thought maybe you’d moved dinner time up,” Erwin says as he takes off his coat and holds it under his arm, revealing his usual formal white button-up shirt. His muscles are visible beneath the fabric as he flexes them, and Levi quickly looks away, pretending to be uninterested.

Gabi pushes the plate of cookies toward Erwin, and he immediately takes one. Meanwhile, Levi grabs the back of the chair next to him and pulls it out, inviting Erwin to sit down.

“Mr. Levi let us see the letters he had hidden in a box,” Gabi explains, briefly pointing to the boxes, which are impossible to overlook. Now the table is full of boxes, the food bag, and the tea tray.

“They dropped them by accident,” Levi adds, slipping the letter he had been keeping hidden under the table into his pants pocket, deep enough to ensure it won’t fall out.

He prefers to avoid Erwin seeing the letter, as it’s likely he’d recall its contents just by looking at the paper, the small details like the ink stain on one of the corners, since Levi had written it hastily at Erwin’s commander’s desk, nervously fearing someone would walk in and discover the lascivious content of the letter.

“Oh, it’s been a while since we last read these,” Erwin remarks as he looks at the contents of the box in front of Levi, completely clueless about the letter Levi has hidden in his clothing. “These are essentially letters we used to write to each other, though there are also some more serious ones, like this one.” Erwin picks up a letter from the bottom of the box, its neat handwriting on the envelope, without a single wrinkle or stain. “I wrote this one to Commander-in-Chief Zackley. He was the highest-ranking officer in the military, so to speak.” He continues scanning the envelopes. After a few seconds, his eyes light up briefly as he takes two cream-colored envelopes in his hand. “This one contains one of my proposals for an expedition outside the walls. And I wrote this one when I was still a squad leader, long before meeting Levi. My desperation and conviction are... interesting.”

“Can you read one to us, please?” Falco asks, his face lit up with curiosity and anticipation.

“Only if you promise to take my classes seriously from now on,” Erwin warns, though there’s a playful undertone in his voice.

“We’ll learn the alphabet forwards and backwards!” Gabi promises, her right hand on her heart, and the other raised, palm fully extended.

Erwin smiles and lovingly ruffles Gabi’s hair, his eyes showing that she will always be "his little one." It’s the look of a proud, affectionate father with his children. Levi’s heart tightens with devastation, tenderness, and sentimentality.

“Which one do you want?”

“This one!” Falco shakes a cream-colored envelope, its golden edges and diamond patterns etched into the paper, with Erwin’s neat handwriting standing out on the front. Just from looking at it, it’s clear it’s different from the others — more detailed, more elaborate.

“Let’s see… oh, it’s a letter I wrote to Levi. It might be too sappy for you,” Erwin says, looking at them with some doubt, though Levi knows better than anyone that Erwin loves to boast about how romantic and cheesy he can get. He’s such a show-off.

Gabi gestures dismissively. Falco blushes a pale pink and glances sideways at Gabi. He’s still as in love as ever, which softens the hearts of both adults, though Levi doesn’t show it beyond softening his gaze.

“It doesn’t matter, we wanna hear it. You aren’t exactly verbally romantic, so I’m curious,” Gabi insists.

“You brats would vomit if we said cheesy things like two teenagers in love,” Levi retorts, taking another sip of his now lukewarm tea.

“I’m not going to deny that,” Gabi admits, nodding several times.

As for Falco, he remains very still, as if his stillness might help avoid the knowing gaze of both adults. He’s waiting to pick up romantic phrases to use on a certain someone.

Erwin clears his throat with exaggerated drama, which makes the two kids smile. Levi rolls his eyes with feigned irritation, though in reality, he’s come to love the new side of Erwin that’s come to light since he started working as a teacher. He’s always been charming and excellent with words, but now he combines that with a teasing tone that reveals his cheerful personality. This is what they fought for all those years: the freedom to be themselves, to allow themselves to move forward thanks to the sacrifice of their comrades and themselves.

“Dear Levi, the humidity creeps through the cracks of the old buildings in Ovrud, the days are longer and hotter, and the few flowers that the traders bring have a subtle, sweet, musky scent. I keep finding you in every detail of this city, your intricate ghost is in every corner, I feel it beside me. By the time I turn around, I can’t find those two grayish-blue portals that bring me to life and make me cling to it. This letter has no significant purpose, other than to reveal the nakedness of my soul that longs for your presence, especially when I realize again and again how false the people around me are (emphasis on the Military Police who won’t stop watching me like some experiment in a lab). In four days I will finish my duties here, which seems eternal, because I no longer know how to live without you. I’ve gotten used to you, to your presence, to the certainty that you’re with me and that you’re not just a fragment of my corroded and exhausted imagination. How did my soul wander these walls without knowing you? I’ve taken a glance out the window, and the sun is high. There’s no doubt that the smells outside must be stronger and more unbearable than usual. This brief distraction reminds me that I’m becoming too sentimental writing this, and you hate (or pretend to hate) when I prattle endlessly about you. I could write countless verses exalting your being, but a lifetime wouldn’t be enough. I’ll wait, as I’ve done countless times, for night to fall so we can unite our bodies in the intimate dance we recite with overflowing pleasure. Not to take up more of your time, as my honorable captain, I bid you farewell with all the nostalgia and love that fills my heart. Until we meet again, yours, Erwin.”

Erwin’s gaze drifts into the haze of memories that rise imaginary above the letter he holds with tenderness and longing. Gabi lets out an embarrassed squeal, covering her mouth with one hand, her cheeks flushed, just like Falco’s. Levi does his best to suppress the surge of emotions swelling in his chest, effervescent and unbalanced. Naturally, it’s impossible for him to recall Erwin’s letters word for word, because, though they weren’t frequent or excessive in number, Levi would only read them once, trying to protect his heart, which had a hole reserved only for Erwin Smith, almost as large as the space next to it reserved for the people he cared about and his desire to help humanity.

“I didn’t expect that! It was so sweet.” Gabi is more happy than surprised, her youthful excitement at its peak.

“You really got inspired, didn’t you, Mr. Erwin?” Falco adds, trying to regulate his voice, which threatens to crack. Levi predicts he’ll secretly ask Erwin for advice on how to write letters later, far from Gabi.

“I’m still inspired when I see and think of Levi,” Erwin says with a silly, charming smile, clearly intending to frustrate Levi, but Levi doesn’t budge, casually shrugging one shoulder. “It’s just that there’s no need to write more letters because we’re not separated anymore.”

“Now a letter from Mr. Levi to Mr. Erwin! You already read us one, but it wasn’t personal enough.”

Levi immediately raises his index finger, shaking it side to side in denial.

“No way. Those are a mess that even Erwin should forget.”

At this, Erwin stops his movements and gives him a disapproving look, but it doesn’t make Levi waver in his determination to avoid the embarrassment of recalling his lack of inspiration when writing.

"Forget? I still remember the content of every single one of your letters. I received exactly eight: four in cream-colored envelopes, two in white, and two more in green envelopes to fool the curious into thinking it was some formal letter related to the Survey Corps, maybe some boring info about our subordinates or a new development." Erwin then looks at Gabi and Falco, both absorbed in the story. "Levi was so careful when sending the letters. I always found it cute," Erwin whispers, leaning toward Gabi and Falco so that Levi doesn't hear him, which he does anyway, considering the dining table is small and the house is relatively quiet.

"Oi! I'm not deaf yet."

Erwin looks at him with affection, his eyes shining with warmth, overwhelming Levi, reminding him silently of the love promises he's made with the same solemnity with which he dedicated his heart to the Survey Corps.

Levi is partly grateful that they aren't alone, so Erwin can't ramble on about romantic things that are still too much for him, often unable to express that mutual love in words. He has always been more of an action person.

To evade the situation, Levi gets up to head to the kitchen and brings more cookies. He's so indulgent with the kids that he bought three packs of cookies just for them, since he prefers to avoid unnecessary calories, and Erwin isn't a fan of the taste.

And so, they spend the entire afternoon reading letters, laughing when there are some mistakes with the ink, making a commotion when Erwin finishes reading one of his letters to Levi, increasing the romantic tone as the year written in the first line grows. The formalities are set aside—no longer "Captain Levi" or "Commander Erwin Smith," but simply Levi and Erwin, with no titles between them.

After several hours of leisure, when the sun has set and the night covers them, Gabi and Falco tidy up and place the boxes back where they were. Now, gathered at the entrance of the house, Levi and Erwin are about to say goodbye to the kids. It's past seven, and they don't live far—just two blocks down—but Erwin prefers they don't get home too late.

"Tomorrow I've to go early to the medical center," Gabi says proudly, and Levi thinks he sees a ghost of maturity in her adolescent features. Time slips through the cracks of their hands, and before he knows it, they'll be adults, and he'll be old. "If all goes well, I might start working there full-time soon."

Erwin opens his mouth, surprised, and Gabi laughs, a little shy.

"Gabi... that's amazing."

"Falco's not far behind, right?" Gabi adds, taking Falco's arm to catch his attention.

Falco blushes as everyone’s attention turns to him. He clears his throat and scratches the back of his neck, nervous.

"My teaching groups are going to grow next month. Apparently, my classes are popular with the kids."

Levi remembers attending a couple of Falco's classes, which were mostly recreational to avoid the old teaching model, and the kid has a talent for oratory with children.

"Falco, I’m proud of you." Erwin gives Falco an affectionate squeeze on the shoulder. Levi just nods, his lips barely curling into a smile. "I’ll have to be more careful from now on; you might steal my teaching position in a few years."

The kids laugh, and even Levi snorts, finding the situation slightly amusing. Obviously, he’s not going to give Erwin the satisfaction of following along with his humor, which has only gotten worse over time.

"We're proud of you both," Levi says, giving them a meaningful look. They’ve grown close in two years, but Levi feels as though it's been an entire lifetime. It’s the same sense of closeness, honesty, and affection he once had for his comrades, his subordinates. Maybe time doesn’t matter when a genuine bond forms as quickly as hearts open up, ready to love. In the end, Levi learned that love is what makes people worthy. "Keep it up, brats."

"Take care and get home safe," Erwin says, sending them off with a big smile, and Levi stands still, not stopping Gabi and Falco when they carefully hug him, as if afraid of breaking his body.

“Sure!"

"We’ll be back soon," Gabi assures, still not letting go of Levi.

"I’ll be waiting then." Levi pats Gabi on the back, and she steps back with a small, childlike laugh, an innocence that had long been suppressed within her.

The two kids wave goodbye, their figures fading away and disappearing into the mist that has been slowly descending, covering almost the entire neighborhood. Indeed, only a few days are left before winter begins. The distant rumble of a thunder confirms Levi that the temperature is only going to worsen.

Once they’re alone, Erwin raises an eyebrow suggestively. Levi hit his foot with the bottom of his cane, making Erwin let out a small grunt of discomfort.

“Stop with your nonsense.”

Erwin doesn’t let him go that easily. He takes Levi’s right hand and intertwines their fingers, the contact sending a chill down Levi’s spine. As best as he can, his other three fingers eagerly accept the touch from Erwin. Without a word, they enter the house, which is no warmer than outside. Erwin guides him back to the dining room, and Levi can guess what’s coming, especially since Erwin specifically bought a bottle of red wine without any prior warning.

Stupid blondie, Levi thinks. Even though Erwin is almost always the one to propose drinking, he’s the first to pass out drunk at the table, slurring his words and becoming excessively affectionate before losing consciousness.

Levi breaks the brief, warming contact and sits back in the same chair as before while Erwin pulls the wine bottle out of the paper bag. He leans his cane against the wall, and it’s then that he feels the numbness in his hands from the cold. His hands are especially pale and dry, which bothers him.

“Shit, I hate the cold,” he mutters under his breath, even though Erwin has briefly stepped into the kitchen to grab their favorite glasses and the corkscrew. Levi hears the drawers creaking open and closing in the distance.

Levi has always hated the cold because it’s the absence of something. The cold in the Underground was so suffocating that the foul smells that filled every corner of the miserable city were hidden for weeks that felt endless and motionless. He lived in the cold of a nearly abandoned house after Kuchel’s death, forgetting day by day the ghost of her loving touch, face-to-face with a corpse that no longer resembled the beautiful woman she once was. He stayed beside her frozen body for months, months he never finished counting because his mind couldn’t take much more due to malnutrition, waiting for the same fate as his mother, until Kenny found him.

In the Survey Corps, when they had expeditions in winter, the snow would melt into the fabric of the winter coats, making it heavier and even more unbearable to wear. After the war and becoming crippled, the cold makes the pain in his left knee worse. The bone creaks, immobilizing him even more, and his insomnia returns like a demon that refuses to release him from its crushing, dark, and corrosive grip. His body is paying the price for pushing himself to the limit in his youth, but there was never another way to live if he wanted to survive.

Erwin knows about his pain from Levi himself. After a few months, once Levi was recovering, he realized that the cold and his body would never get along. Levi tried to hide his pain from Erwin, as he always does, but he understood that there was no point in pretending he was fine anymore. Consequently, he now enjoys being pampered by Erwin.

“Would you like a glass to warm you up?” Erwin announces his return as he places two tall, deep glasses on the table—some of the finest crockery they own, at least given their financial situation.

Erwin fiddles with a corkscrew between his fingers, one they miraculously found one weekend among the trinkets at the market. Levi insisted it was a useless purchase, but Erwin assured him it wouldn’t hurt to have it just in case.

Levi avoids eye contact and takes the bottle to check the label. It’s an expensive brand, preserved for years, and the liquid looks torturously enticing, almost provocative. Alcohol isn’t his favorite drink in the world, but he handles it fairly well and it doesn’t hurt every now and then.

“Just one glass,” Levi agrees with a brief nod, placing the bottle back on the table. “If I drink more, I won’t be able to sleep.”

Erwin smiles and opens the bottle with an expert motion, after years of practice from his youth and his time in the Survey Corps, when they had dinners and parties—rare events they cherished with overflowing appreciation. If Levi closes his eyes and lets himself be swept away by the lake of memories, he can still hear his comrades laughing and celebrating to the rhythm of the music, glasses clinking and the metal of plates crashing on the wooden tables of the grand dining hall.

When Levi receives his glass, he’s pulled back to the present with a jolt, just before his thoughts can wander further into his memories. To clear his mind, or perhaps to drown it in a fog where pain fades away, he takes a single sip from his glass. The familiar bitter taste of alcohol scratches his throat, making him cough. Out of curiosity, he picks up the bottle of red wine again and reads the large label on the back. “Alcohol content: 12%.”

“You won’t last three glasses,” Levi rests his elbow on the table and gives Erwin a judgmental look. It’s been so long and yet he still doesn’t know his limits.

“Come on, after years of failed attempts, I think I’ve finally gotten used to it.”

Levi raises an eyebrow, incredulous, but decides not to crush Erwin’s illusions. In the end, it’s clear he’ll have to drag him to bed in a couple of hours.

“I found something interesting the other day. Recent studies show that nicotine damages the lungs in the long run and causes fatal diseases.” Erwin swirls his glass in small circles, the crimson liquid dancing in delicate waves, as calm as the atmosphere around them—a comfort acquired over the years.

“War didn’t kill me, and neither will having smoked occasionally,” Levi shrugs and grabs the bottle, but does nothing else. The cold glass serves as an anchor, keeping him slightly grounded. “Compared to how the Legion ended, it’s a small price to pay.”

Erwin without an arm, and Levi with a large scar across his face, missing an eye and two fingers. The violence is a constant reminder, embedded in their skin. They are two of the few survivors left from the Legion, the only veterans at that.

Levi doesn’t complain about the peaceful life he now leads—planting trees, engaging in eco-friendly and social activities—and it’s not as if he could do anything else, given his limited mobility. He can’t walk long distances, so he either uses a wheelchair or his cane when he’s motivated enough to feel his body alive and not like a vegetable.

For Erwin to still be by his side, despite there being nothing that binds them now—no shared high-ranking positions like in the Legion—means he truly wants to be with him, to spend their retirement years together. They’d never spoken about it in the past because they didn’t think it was possible to retire from the military, much less grow old. The Legion took its soldiers too soon, not giving them the chance to retire because of age.

Looking at Erwin, now in his forties, his beard slightly darker than his hair but no less handsome, makes Levi wonder what Erwin still sees in him. He wasn’t in better shape before—he’d always lived in poor conditions—but the scars on his body were easy to ignore under the dim light of oil lamps. Now, with his face bearing a large scar, he wonders if Erwin feels repulsed by him. How does he still touch him like before, perhaps with even more intensity? Why does he still kiss him? Why is he now so openly admitting his love, as if it’s something natural that’s been there since the very beginning?

Fucking lunatic.

Erwin sighs, incredulous. After playing with his glass for a few seconds that drags on like the cold creeping through the cracks in the windows, he takes a sip of the wine. His gaze softens, as he has learned to do recently. He no longer has to maintain a façade of strength; he’s not a leader anymore, not carrying the suffocating weight of responsibility and guilt.

“The war doesn’t pass without leaving a mark. Eitherway, to me, you’re still beautiful, maybe even more so than the first time I saw you in the Underground, flying with an expertise that sparked an irresistible curiosity in me. I had to… have you with me.”

Levi taps Erwin’s leg lightly with his right leg, not with any real force.

“It’s not really fun seeing through just one eye, even if it’s ‘proof’ of how far I was willing to risk my integrity to achieve an idealistic goal.”

“My point is that, I’m not sure how to make you understand that you’ll always be my captain, my lover, and my best friend, no matter what happens.” He takes Levi’s hand and kisses the back of it, maintaining eye contact that steals Levi’s breath for a moment.

Levi clears his throat to pretend the closeness doesn’t affect him, even after so many years in Erwin’s company, learning to channel the bubbling emotions that resurface every time Erwin’s blue irises—two perfect replicas of a clear summer sky—settle on him.

“Whatever.”

Jet-black strands fall like fine curtains over Levi’s eyes, especially over the right one. He lifts his hand to brush the hair from his left eye, while Erwin watches his every movement intently, his mouth pressed into a thin line, hungry, yearning. So dangerously intense that Levi knows his inhibitions will vanish if he drinks a little more.

Fortunately, Erwin is still sober enough to start talking about his workday. Levi listens attentively to the story, even when Erwin ends up explaining the same topic he had been teaching his students that morning. His gestures and excited expression make it impossible for Levi to miss a single second of his relentless chatter.

At some point during their improvised and rather informal soiree, Erwin places his hand on Levi’s leg, wrapping it almost completely. His fingers squeeze occasionally, caressing the inside of his thigh, getting close to dangerous territory. Levi, in a slight mental fog, doesn't pull away from the contact.

The first raindrops begin to fall, hitting the windowpane in a rhythmic pattern. The flash of lightning illuminates the neighborhood, and seconds later, a thunder follows, rumbling nearby.

“We should go to bed early tonight,” Levi suggests, deducing that it’s been about an hour since they started drinking.

Erwin has a slightly dazed look in his eyes, having been drinking quickly, without pauses and with nothing to eat to counterbalance the alcohol. Levi wants to tease him, but Erwin’s hand slowly creeping up his leg prevents it, turning his mind blank. He doesn’t have time to anticipate the movement when Erwin is already reaching for the pocket of his pants. The sound of the letter’s paper being crumpled beneath Erwin’s nimble fingers pulls him out of his trance.

“Erwin-”

The words die in his throat. Erwin looks at him suspiciously and slips his hand into the pocket, so slowly that Levi could stop him if he wanted to, but he doesn’t. He accepts his fate, tired from the cold that has turned his feet into two icebergs.

Once Erwin has the letter in his hand, his eyes immediately light up in recognition. Just as Levi suspected, a freak like Erwin would remember the letter with just a glance.

“Hm?” Erwin smirks, so charming that Levi feels his legs tingle. “I knew you were going to hide those compromising letters that I keep remembering with fervent desire.” Erwin puts the letter on the table and tries to smooth out the wrinkled parts. “Wanna know something? I lost count of how many times I touched myself while reading your lewd letters. So precious.”

It’s alcohol doing its thing, probably, because Levi feels his insides heat up, specifically the lower area of ​​his abdomen. It doesn’t help that Erwin moves his chair closer to his, naughtiness evident in his gestures.

“You’ve always been too horny for your age.” Levi hisses, avoiding looking at the infamous letter.

Erwin leans towards Levi and inhales the space between his neck and shoulder, filling himself with the faint scent of the oatmeal soap he uses to bathe, a somewhat expensive soap that Erwin buys exclusively for him, to be indulgent and pamper him. Perhaps it's something similar to the past, when he made deals with merchants to get the best quality tea.

“Levi, I've always wanted you like crazy.” Erwin doesn't move away from his hiding place, his rhythmic breathing hits his bare skin, which only makes his hair stand on end, as sensitive as usual. “It's a shame to think about the time we wasted trying to hide our feelings.”

“You're already drunk. Such a lightweight.”

“I’m sober,” he murmurs weakly, his voice sounding quieter since his mouth is pressed against Levi’s sweater.

“If you get drunk, will you stop saying all those cheesy things?”

Erwin reluctantly pulls back when Levi shifts his shoulder, trying to push him away. His touch is addictive, and he can’t let himself get carried away so easily. All he wants is to get under the covers and rub his cold feet against Erwin’s usually warm ones, to fight childishly for dominance until Erwin surrenders and gives him his warmth.

“Maybe it'll only get worse,” Erwin responds playfully, his eyes roaming over every exposed area of Levi’s skin—his neck, part of his collarbone.

Still, Levi pours another round for both of them, almost the same amount as the times before.

“How can I forget this letter?” Erwin says to no one in particular, picking up the paper again. Levi doesn’t look at him as he fills the glasses. “I keep trying to convince myself that this isn’t like me, but it’s annoying how I can’t get the feeling of your caresses out of my head, the firm but affectionate grip, your heavy breath on my face-”

“What the hell do you think you’re doing, reading that shit?” Levi snatches the letter away in a quick motion that Erwin’s alcohol-clouded reflexes can’t keep up with.

With the tips of his ears faintly flushed, Levi crumples the letter and tucks it into his pocket.

“Shit, you say?” Erwin asks, feeling offended on Levi’s behalf. Levi couldn’t care less about his own lack of expressiveness as a writer compared to Erwin's, especially when it was something written in a rush. “Your words had me delirious for days. Just rereading them makes those emotions wake up again.”

“Tch. I don’t think your emotions are the only thing that ‘wakes up’.”

Erwin laughs softly, again placing his mouth on Levi's neck to give a furtive lick, teasing him. The silly laughter now comes as naturally as orders once did from his mouth in the Legion days. The space to relax and simply be themselves, without any ties or restrictions, has grown since they allowed themselves that freedom.

Without a single drop of water in their bodies and a considerable amount of alcohol accumulated, after losing track of how many glasses they've had, both are clearly tipsy—there's no way to deny or hide it. The bottle of red wine is almost empty; only about five milliliters remain, barely visible due to the dark glass. It's been a while since they last drank this much, mostly because they didn't want to influence Gabi and Falco, but today feels like a special occasion, somehow.

Erwin’s fingers are lingering on Levi’s arm and hand, sneaking under the thick material of his sweater, fleeting touches that don’t cross an invisible line. It's intimate, yet not erotic.

Levi fills his cup almost to the brim, emptying the bottle, and he looks at the crimson liquid attentively, somehow ignoring purposely Erwin’s burning stare. His eyes are almost out of focus, but he’s smiling under the weak lighting of the oil candle because it's more intimate that way. Even so, Erwin is shining brighter than he’ll do under the blinding midday sunshine, his skin is of a warm shade, and Levi wants to trace his face with the tip of his fingers, the ones on his left hand, so that way he can appreciate Erwin's skin better.

“When was the last time we stayed awake together at this hour?” Erwin asks softly, almost in a purr that gets lost in the silence of the night, of the house.

Levi thinks about it. They’ve gotten older, they get tired more easily and go to sleep like elders. If he remembers correctly, the last time they did something like this was when they were on the survey corps, when Erwin had just ascended to commander. After that, responsibilities and problems piled up like shit.

“About ten years? Maybe more.”

Erwin hums in agreement, his hand lying on Levi’s, engulfing his pale calloused right hand.

“Fuck, I’m dizzy…” he curses under his breath, his eyebrows furrowing slightly.

The fact that Erwin is cursing, almost naturally, is enough proof of how gone he is.

“You’ll feel it more when we get up.” Levi takes another sip from his glass, just to avoid Erwin's piercing, brazen gaze.

“I’m so happy, Levi,” Erwin gets closer, the legs of the chair dragging against the wooden floor. “And you look stunning tonight.”

Levi scoffs, drinking in one shot the rest of his wine. A crimson drop shines on his lips and Erwin wipes it with his thumb almost instantly. He licks his finger and smirks, making Levi frown.

“What’s gotten into you today? You truly cannot handle alcohol, Smith.”

Erwin shrugs, moving his chair even closer to Levi until their faces are mere centimeters away, breaths mixing in the air. Levi turns his head and his breath hitches in his chest for a second, realizing how close they truly are. Erwin has that funny, yet seductive, expression when he’s about to kiss him. His lidded eyes, his hand going up and taking one of Levi’s black hair strands to caress it. He hums in approval, a deep and low sound that Levi thinks almost reverberates in the small room.

“I like that you’re letting your hair grow. It suits you, and it makes you even more stunning.”

“Stop being so sappy.” Levi makes a hand gesture to hide his embarrassment, running out of ideas to avoid Erwin's flirting.

His hand is stopped midway when Erwin takes it on his own and kisses the back of it, light blue eyes connecting with grayish blues.

“You deserve all the love in the world, Levi.”

“Can you stop saying my name every two seconds?”

Erwin smirks, kissing Levi's hand again. Even if he protests, he actually doesn’t hate the adulation, because he doesn’t pull his hand away.

“I like saying your name out loud. It's proof that you’re real, indeed.” this time Erwin smooches Levi’s cheek, making him squirm “Levi, Levi, Levi. You're my favorite mantra.”

Levi gulps and Erwin follows the movement on his throat. There’s a brief moment of stillness, time frozen. Before he knows it, Erwin’s mouth finally meets his own. They kiss slowly, taking the time to breathe in between. Levi’s right-hand takes the collar of Erwin’s shirt and wrinkles it, feeling suddenly possessive. He brings him closer until the concept of personal space is eradicated and unknown to them.

Kissing is as instinctive as breathing for them. Levi can’t remember if he ever felt awkward when kissing Erwin, but if he did he’s sure the blondie made sure to make him feel comfortable. He’s a good kisser, as expected, and knows how to slightly change angles as time goes by, when to start touching, smooth hands going under his sweater, going from touching his back to caressing his soft belly.

Erwin bites his lower lip lightly, enough to make Levi push him away softly when he puts his hands on his big chest.

“Shave. Your stubble is scrapping my face.” Levi whines, slightly furrowing his eyebrows. His face tingles with the ghost of Erwin’s stubble against his soft skin.

“Later.”

Erwin grabs his neck to connect their mouths again, not leaving room for contemplation; the contact makes them deepen even more the kiss. The heat of the alcohol running in his veins, the warmth of the room, even in the middle of autumn, and the heath creeping on his body, make Levi moan, a soft sound that Erwin swallows like a starving man that only needs him to live.

Just then, a thought comes to Levi, inevitably. Since the war ended and the Titans vanished, and the permanent injuries that took most of his health came, Erwin has been the one who has done all the job, intimacy-wise. He's the one who initiates it, the one who usually takes kisses to another level, the one who changes positions in bed, the one who moves and thrusts. Levi is the exact definition of a pillow princess, pliant under his touch. He wants Erwin to feel good too, but he can’t do much considering his current limitations.

As lust overtakes his body, he feels the urge to get on his knees and suck off Erwin under the table, like he did a couple of times in his office when he was a commander, the adrenaline making them feel alive for a fleeting moment, excluding when they were outside of the prisoner walls; the outside world. Those days are long gone, and now he can’t properly move his left knee, much less fold it without feeling a sting of pain that his body resents instantly. He also can’t ride Erwin for the same reason of his useless knee, the prolonged position makes him uncomfortable. All those things piled up together make Levi feel bad, even guilty.

“What’s wrong?” Erwin breaks the kiss when he notices that Levi has stopped being into it.

Levi flinches, something unusual in him, seeming out of touch.

“It’s nothing.” he brushes off, licking his salivated lips, tasting in the process the remains of wine.

“I think it is something” Erwin insists in a soft tone, trying not to sound demanding after years in the military.

Levi thinks about it. He isn’t good at expressing his feelings in words, it has always been hard considering he’s more of an “action person”, but he has nothing to lose, much less when he’s with the person he loves, respects, and has known for years now.

“I want to pleasure you too,” he says lowly, almost sounding like a whisper.

Erwin’s eyebrows rise in surprise. Levi feels his ears turning, again, a light shade of pink. He decides to blame the wine instead of admitting that he's flustered.

“What?”

“Ever since my body became like this, you’ve been the one that has done all the job” Levi exhales, talking a bit fast to make his embarrassment go away “I… was just thinking of sucking you off, but I can’t even kneel. Sorry.”

A moment of silence spreads in the room that seems way too small for Levi, suffocating. He’s about to get up and pretend that he didn’t say anything, but Erwin is looking at him hurt, so sad that Levi is confused.

“Did I give you that impression? That I wasn’t enjoying myself?”

Levi grimaces, feeling wronged.

“I just wanna do more for you” he explains, closing his eyes for a brief moment to not let his emotions overtake. “I hate feeling useless.”

“You’re doing more than enough, love.” The pet name makes Levi blush again, warmth exploding in his chest. “We’re not the same as before, not even our bodies are, that's a fact. Change is natural, even in sex and bedroom dynamics” Erwin caresses Levi’s cheek lovingly “Yes, we don’t have wild and rough sex as before, we’ve been doing vanilla and that’s okay.”

Levi still doesn’t feel sure about it, so Erwin contemplates the topic with his lips pressed in a line. A split second of torturous silence passes until Erwin's expression changes, renewed energy settling into his body.

“I have an idea, then.”

Erwin gets up and, being as careful as he can, lifts Levi with his only arm, having mastered it a while ago. Levi squeals, surprised, being carried makes him embarrassed.

“Oi!” Levi protests, hitting Erwin's shoulder softly to make him stop.

Erwin giggles, the way a not-so-sober man does, and starts walking to their bedroom. They stumble across the hallway, which only makes Levi scold him for being so careless. Still, Erwin avoids hurting Levi, and it doesn't take much time for them to arrive at their shared bedroom.

The room is larger than the “amenities” the Survey Corps could afford. The bed is spacious, Levi has never had one like that, there's a nightstand on the left side of the bed, a wooden closet he made with his own bare hands located in a corner, there's also a dresser and a big shelf full of books and framed photos. A faint scent of wood and cleaning products floats in the room, even if he concentrates hard enough he can perceive Erwin’s characteristic smell, woody, a little strong, perhaps.

Erwin puts Levi down on the mattress with a gentleness that makes his heart shrink. The small gestures are the ones that resonate with Levi, the ones he appreciates and keeps lovingly in his memory box. It doesn't take long for Erwin to light up the oil lamp that's on the nightstand, bringing to life the light of an artificial dawn.

“We've always found a way to get things done, right?”

Levi understands the situation when he's lying on the bed with his chest down and Erwin stands in front of him as he unbuckles his belt and takes off his pants while maintaining eye contact that makes his lower stomach tingle again, lust and desire almost tangible in the atmosphere.

Erwin lays down in bed, with only his underwear and shirt on, wide open to reveal his hairy chest. The position is truly useful, that way Levi's knee won’t resent the prolonged position. It seems like he has stopped being creative, why didn't he think of this before?

“What do you think?”

“Perverted bastard.” Levi scoffs, crawling until he’s in between Erwin’s legs. He grabs the elastic of his underwear and teases with his fingers the garment, not sliding it down until Erwin groans, slightly desperate, eager.

Levi gives in and takes the underwear off, revealing his thick semi-erect cock. He grabs it with his left hand and starts stroking it right away, making Erwin gasp at the cold touch that counters with his warm length. They aren't sober enough to take it slow, and Levi is about to say fuck it and impale himself on Erwin's cock.

“You’re smart even for these things, huh?”

“You seduced me.” he debates, biting his lip as Levi rests his cheek against Erwin’s naked thigh. “Fuck, I missed this view.”

When his dick meets the warmth and wetness of Levi’s small mouth, he sees stars on the back of his eyelids. The sensation is familiar, almost forgotten, but it hits him like a thunder, as consuming as Levi himself. Levi traces with his tongue the curvature of Erwin's cock, paying special attention to the vein that protrudes from one side of the fat phallus. The muscles in his face resent the strain, but he ignores the feeling of discomfort and continues sucking slowly. He licks the reddish head in circles, without any shyness, while his left-hand sneaks in to cup one of Erwin's balls. The mere contact makes Erwin flinch and his big hand immediately travels to Levi's hair, he pulls it without any real strength.

Levi's warm cavity envelops Erwin's fat cock, his tongue carefully licks every centimeter of the phallus, salivating it all, until it's dripping with saliva and pre-cum, a dirty mixture that only turns them on more. Levi makes a muffled sound as he almost chokes with the cock and the filthy mix of fluids that slips out of his mouth.

“You're making a mess, hm?” Erwin teases him, but he loses composure quickly when Levi takes the cock out and strokes it softly, knowing how to do it just right to make Erwin melt under his touch. He breathes heavily, his cock twitching in Levi's hand. “Shit-”

Levi arches an eyebrow and swallows Erwin's cock again, now with half the length inside his mouth, tears well up in his eyes and his throat burns. A constant sound resonates in the room, filthy slurps and a gagging sound that takes them back to the old times. Erwin doesn't move his hand away from Levi's hair, he makes sure to hold the somewhat long strands to keep them from getting in the way.

Levi isn't aware of it, but in the steaming entrails of the night, where nothing stays hidden for long, he takes shape. He looks more hypnotic, and enchanting, each of his attributes stand out in the shadows, under the low lighting, where he's even a little more daring. Erwin has traced his body countless times, with his hands, with his mouth, with his tongue, he hasn't left a single stretch of skin untouched, yet Levi always manages to surprise him with his natural charms. There's always something to learn from him, something new to admire. Erwin will never get enough of him.

“You'll be the death of me one day, I swear,” he says under his breath, running his fingers on Levi's scalp. The touch is so good that Levi moans with the cock still inside of his mouth, his nose almost touching Erwin's abdomen.

Levi slowly pulls out his phallus, a thread of saliva connecting his tongue to the tip. Erwin buries his fingers in Levi's hair again, his jaw so tense it could break at any moment.

“Die then.” Levi kisses the red head, his lidded eyes darkened in pleasure. “But only if it’s with me.”

Erwin sits down on the mattress and pulls Levi towards him. Their mouths instinctively collide, as if they can't spend any more time apart. Levi can still taste Erwin's salty taste in his mouth, in the saliva that now mixes with Erwin's own. The kiss is short-lived as Erwin's hardened cock brushes against Levi's arm, a reminder that they're far from over.

They break the kiss reluctantly, Erwins gaze is fixed on his mouth, but then he seems surprised by something. Levi notices then a slight sting, an almost familiar ardor, on the side of his mouth.

“Oh.” Erwin caresses the left corner of Levi's mouth, a small open wound shining with a trail of fresh blood. “You pushed yourself maybe a bit too much, Levi. You forgot how small your mouth is.”

Levi pulls Erwin's hand away from his mouth and glances at his erect cock which continues to twitch pathetically, begging for attention.

“I don't care, I can still take you well.” he rebuts, determined to continue his job.

Before his hand can grab the cock again, Erwin takes his small frame and puts him carefully on his back. Unlike Erwin, Levi is still clothed, and his crotch zone looks cramped, uncomfortable.

“That's enough.” Erwin unbuttons Levi's pants and drags them down his legs until they are completely off. In the process, Erwin takes the opportunity to take off his shirt and throw it on the floor. If the circumstances were different, Levi would scold him for leaving his clothes lying around.

“You're about to come, right?” Levi says, almost mocking him. Erwin's cock responds with another twitch.

“It's hard for me to keep it together when you look so mesmerizing with my cock in your mouth.”

Erwin gets on top of Levi and they look at each other silently, electricity purring in their veins. The rain continues pouring outside, but the bedroom couldn't be warmer.

“You know a better place than my mouth, so, do it.” Levi breaks the moment when he takes off his sweater, revealing his bare body to Erwin's hungry gaze. “Put it in, now.”

“If you feel uncomfortable I’ll stop, okay?” Erwin takes Levi’s hand tenderly and kisses his wrist softly, a smooch that sends goosebumps into his cold skin that's starting to heat up.

“Tch. Don’t treat me like we haven’t done this a hundred times already.” Levi tries to appear nonchalant, but the truth is that his body isn’t the same as before, not after the war and pushing himself out of his human limits, even as an Ackerman. Erwin is older than him, but it’s in better shape, which he envies a bit. “We used to do this multiple times a day, did you forget?”

Erwin nods, obviously aware of the past, the times they sneaked out just to have their night affairs. It didn’t matter how busy they were, they usually found the time to be together.

“How could I?” Erwin licks his index and his hand goes down, out of Levi's vision. His finger slowly traces his pink hole, making him contain a whimper that threatens to slip off his lips “But I’ve to be more careful with your body” The finger slowly slips in and Levi clenches his jaw, his hands immediately grabbing Erwin’s hair, pulling it painfully “I know it hurts when I go too hard. I noticed your grimace the last time when I put your left leg on my shoulder. I’m sorry for that.”

Levi actually blushes a little. Although he has done therapy exercises for quite a while, it hasn’t progressed much, but at least it doesn’t hurt at the slightest movement as before. He was never dependent on others, not even as a kid, so now having to be in a wheelchair and be pushed by the brats and Erwin is somehow embarrassing. He tries to find the strength to prove that he’s still independent, but reality is different. His body isn't built like before, he’s not a soldier anymore.

“Just… don’t grab my leg too hard, you moron.” Levi smacks Erwin's arm playfully, making him smile, and it seems like the whole room is lit up.

Erwin Smith is brighter than the sun, after all these years of pain and suffering.

After the war their sexual appetite decreased, so they’ve sex at least twice a month, and is vanilla at that, which Levi doesn’t complain about at all. Sure, it’s not as before, it doesn’t leave him wasted and with shaking legs as a virgin, however, it’s still enjoyable. It feels good to be treated with such care.

Erwin continues to spread the warm walls of Levi's insides, molding him to his liking. A second finger enters the equation and Levi starts shaking, his muscles melting away their tension as Erwin expertly relaxes his hole. He loses him up slowly, with no rush, kisses in between the process, connecting their tongues to make the kiss lewd. Levi grips Erwin's shoulder with a strength that's enough to leave a temporary pink mark, maybe as a reminder of his unceasing yearning.

Erwin shifts his position slightly, but the mere movement makes him still, a look of discomfort wrinkles his features.

“Wait- ugh, I got a leg cramp.”

Levi snorts, but his hands immediately go to Erwin’s leg and start massaging the tense muscle. His fingers still have some strength, so his touch is perfect for soothing Erwin. Lately having cramps has become the usual for them, so they know how to soothe the pain easily.

“I guess we’re aging fast,” Levi comments to distract Erwin from the pain, his hands don’t stop the massages. “Especially you. You’re already in your forties.”

“Do you consider that old?”

“Not really, but we’ve pushed our bodies to the limit. It’s just fair for it to be in such a bad state after all.”

Erwin softens his gaze almost at the same time as his muscle relaxes, the cramp forgotten. Levi pats his leg playfully, but when he doesn’t obtain a response, his eyes travel to Erwin’s, only to meet his two blue pools overflowing with love.

“You know, even if I'm impotent and I can't do anything more than tremble, I'll still love you. I'll find the strength to do it.”

“Hasn't the alcohol gone down a bit?” Levi teases, although his cheeks are colored in the palest pink possible. It's imperceptible, just a sign that despite his age and living through hundreds of things, he still gets embarrassed by certain situations and comments. His heart has softened even more, just like Gabi said one time.

“I'm a little more lucid.” Erwin makes Levi fall back on the mattress again, and he truly looks like a bird of prey, ready to eat his well-deserved meal after a long hunt, ready to not leave a single crumb. “Either way, whether I'm drunk or not, you still turn me on.”

Erwin supports his forearm on the mattress, their faces so close that their breaths mix. Levi takes Erwin’s face with his hand and brings him closer, kissing him. Before he can process the situation, Erwin slips his cock inside, opening him painfully. It’s been quite some time since they had sex, so his body resents the intrusion. They connect their bodies, familiar with their warmth, and Levi moans against Erwin’s neck, shutting his eyes tightly as he adjusts to the sensation.

They stay in that position for a few seconds, uselessly regulating their breathing, which in a matter of seconds is bound to return to its erratic rhythm. However, Levi appreciates that moment to fill himself with Erwin's heat; the warmth of his body, of his gaze, of his thick cock that’s impossibly hard.

Erwin exhales and starts moving slowly, rocking his hips in circles, which makes Levi feel every part of his cock, every pulsation and vein. It reaches parts that make him ascend to somewhere greater and purer than heaven. His eyelids see colored explosions, and his nails scratch Erwin’s back. He moans so shamelessly as if he isn't in his forties and doesn't have sexual experience. But the house is theirs, so they can make as much noise as they want.

Erwin hoists Levi’s right leg up to thrust into him in a new angle, his left leg lying on the mattress, it still has the bandage Gabi helped him put in the morning to avoid unnecessary friction with his clothes. The girl has found a vocation in helping and healing people, and Levi and Erwin agree that she’s gonna be a good nurse someday.

The thrusts are deep, playing with reaching the most sensitive spot inside of Levi, the one that turns him into a mess of moans, squeals, and gasps that mix with Erwin's in a melody that he has been engraved in his mind for years.

“Fuck… m-more,” Levi asks before his voice cracks into a gasp, his breath hitching in his chest.

There's a film of sweat slipping down Erwin’s neck, down to his chest, and the few hairs he has in there. Levi follows the trail of a drop of sweat that descends from his forehead. Sex is messy, dirty, but it somehow makes him feel more like a human. Or he probably only feels that way because it's with Erwin.

“Can I be rough?” Erwin questions with a lustful glint in his blue eyes that seem a darker shade in the opaque lighting of the bedroom, amid their sexual storm.

Levi nods, trying not to gulp. His leg better not act up, he’s doing his best to enjoy himself.

Erwin doesn't give him time to mentally prepare when he's thrusting into him like a wild animal, making the bed crack and the bedframe hit the wall, a squelching filthy sound accompanying their lustful orchestra. Their skins crash against each other, Erwin’s heavy balls making Levi’s pale ass take a pink hue. His small body is engulfed under Erwin’s big frame, it’s almost suffocating, so Levi has to breathe from his open mouth.

“You’re gorgeous” Erwin kisses his jaw and then gives a soft bite, making Levi complain in a soft tone, his throat dry because of the blowjob. He can barely talk. “Fuck, you always take me so well.”

“D-Deeper…”

“Want it deeper?” Erwin changes the angle, thrusting inside of Levi sideways. “How about now? Is it deeper?”

Levi is practically salivating on the pillow, his eyes rolling back. He nods dumbly, a solitary tear rolling down his flushed cheek. He holds on for life on the sheets, he grips them with all his remaining strength.

Erwin leans forward and kisses his forehead, not caring about the sweat in it. His heavy breath clashes on his skin, almost sounding like an animal in heat. Levi feels pleased, a smirk almost forms on his lips even in the middle of his trance. Erwin will always find pleasure with him, only with him.

His body opens up with each thrust that takes his breath away, he struggles to breathe properly, even with his mouth wide open that can't stop the plethora of moans. Erwin is too much, he's… big, in every sense. His leg is so high up that he feels like at any moment he'll literally break in two. There isn't a single particle that separates them, not a stretch of their bodies that isn't skin against skin, they’re a swarm of limbs and moans that dissolve in the heavy hot air, like a wisp of smoke.

Levi bites his lip harshly until he tastes blood on his tongue, feeling the well-known sensation of his lower abdomen tightening as an indicator of his nearing climax, and judging by Erwin’s familiar expression he isn’t any different.

“You can come inside… Just this time.” Levi says in a sultry tone.

He definitely doesn’t know his impact on Erwin, because he's a living sin, messy black hair spread on the pillow, red lips because of the incessant kisses, saliva -and probably other fluids- glistening on them, his eyes half closed, gaze as sexy as ever, trembling chest and the prettiest sounds known to humanity coming out of his small wounded mouth, dried blood on the corner and a small vertical fissure on his bottom lip.

“Fuck-” Erwin gives a final thrust and, like an order, releases his cum inside of him, white-hot threads that fill him up until it’s slipping out of his hole, making his ass and thighs sticky.

Levi comes afterward in a muffled sound, his knuckles white as he grips the sheets. As his dick slowly softens, he releases his hand and collapses on the mattress, spasms running through his drained body. Erwin kisses his heel, then his leg and, after a lick, he puts his leg down. His bones creak as his body returns to its normal position.

They stay connected for some time, making out lovingly, tracing their bodies covered in scars with their hands, the traces of the survey corps gear reminding them that they did it. After all the trials, sacrifices, and despair, they reached the awaited “truth of humanity”, they affronted the outside world’s hatred, and finally came to be free.

The only window in the room is fogged up, blocking the view of the night landscape. Levi is so calm that his eyelids begin to feel heavy, he's warm, his body doesn't hurt, thankfully, and the rain isn't a bad atmosphere. The drops fall melodically, a pattering that's relaxing, almost like a lullaby.

Erwin ends up falling asleep on top of Levi, hugging him. Levi moves Erwin's body until his head on his chest, right over his heart, measuring beats. Sleep is battling against him, about to win, so he tightens his grip on Erwin before he loses his conscience, a silent “I love you”, because words are still his least favorite thing in the world, they fall short to his true emotions.

Erwin smiles in his sleep, aware of it. They finally have the freedom to love. They've long forgiven themselves.