Chapter Text
BUCK
A thick wooden beam stretches between his shoulder blades carrying the weight of the pier above him. As he turns his chin upwards, the massive structure slices the full moon in half letting the wind tickle beneath his jaw. He’d have thought the world was in black and white lit only by the moon without the neon lights in the distance casting a soft glow along the beach. Carnival music and laughter muffle themselves as they skip across the ocean and fall at Buck’s feet. The smell of fried food dares to rival the salty scent of the waves settling on the shore. He breathes it in pressing into the beam. He hasn’t been here since– well, it’s been a while.
It’s impossible to be here and not think of Christopher. But then again, when is he not thinking of Chris? It’s been 4 months he’s been in Texas. 4 months of giving him space. 4 months of a dull ache settling deep in his bones. 4 months of watching his best friend erode and get lost in the wind.
4 months of a muted agony to wind up here. People tend to go to the pier to get away from home, make fond memories, and connect with one another. He came here because he can’t stand to go home. Wherever that may be. And to agitate the waters of his soul kicking memories to the surface recently sunken in the hollow quiet. The memories of losing a kid off the back of a firetruck. Of going through hell to get him back. At failing to get him back. Maybe Eddie will have better luck with that. Although he didn’t technically go into the airport, he still feels the unease of travel sticking to his skin. At the current moment, he’d love nothing more than a shower but it felt wrong to just…go home. Drop Eddie off for a life-changing moment and just–go back to an empty loft? So, he went west. And kept going west until he wound up here.
It doesn’t get cold in L.A. Not like in Hershey. But right now, a light hoodie is barely a line of defense against the breeze that picks up the cool of the ocean. Tingles take over his toes as they succumb to the numbness beneath the sand. He unfurls his arms from hugging his knees and laces his fingers to the Earth. Buried wrist and ankle deep, he realizes he’s a lot like sand. Without you noticing, it slides under your fingernails and crawls your nose. It works its way into your teeth gritting in your molars. It collects between your toes innocently resting, but the second it’s time to get up and move, it shifts and scratches along tan lines. He lifts a palm coated in the grime and rolls up his pant legs. The damp cold surrounding his feet seeps into his bones sending a chill up his spine as he stands and stretches his legs for the first time in an hour.
Wading in the sea, salt licks away the sand all the way around his heels. His toes were already numb, but the frost spreads to his ankles as the water swirls around him constantly in motion. The wind grazes his cheeks as a tear streaks its way across his face carrying the only sense of warmth in his body. He uses the back of his hand to wipe it away. Sand sticks to his face.
Six Weeks Later
He can’t breathe. The ceiling stares down at him, mocking him. His heart is racing. There’s sweat dripping into his eyes; he can taste the salt. Is he on his back? The ceiling. He’s on his back. He hasn’t been this tired since… how long has it been? It would be so easy to close his eyes and drift away except he hears something. No. Someone.
“Uncle Buck! You stopped chasing me!” Jee’s giggles erupt as a pillow lands on his chest. She's the only thing to bring him any shred of joy since...
“You’ve got more energy than Uncle Buck can handle little lady!” He’s powerless against her giggles. With a huff, he rolls himself over and rises to his feet.
“You’ve gotta stop giving her so much sugar,” Chim ribs as he closes the door behind him.
“How else am I gonna win the ‘Favorite Uncle’ competition with Albert in the mix?”
“Well, now Mom and Dad have to handle the inevitable sugar crash, so thanks for that.” Maddie pokes into his ribs.
“I saw you grab more than a couple of cookies for yourself so you’re welcome!” Buck shouts as she goes to gather Jee’s things. It’s only been a couple of hours but it looked like Jee had moved in; her things are scattered in every corner.
“We brought you cheesecake,” Chim offered.
“Didn’t you just criticize me for giving her sugar?” Buck raises a signature brow as he settles into the couch.
“The Buckley-Han house is going to be in shambles tonight,” Chim winces, “but it’ll be fun until the impending sugar crash,” he plasters a smile across his face that softens when Maddie rounds the corner. “Isn’t that right Jee-Bee?” Chim grabs the bags from her and scoops Jee onto his shoulder. “Say ‘bye, Buck!’” Chimney encourages.
“Bye Uncle Buck!” she leans towards him as she’s carried out the door.
“Thanks for watching her. Have a good night.” Maddie presses a kiss to his birthmark as she grabs another cookie before heading out the door.
Not even two minutes later his phone buzzes in his pocket. A small smile sweeps across his face. What stuffed animal did she forget?
It’s a number he doesn’t recognize. The caller ID just says El Paso, Texas.
“Hello?”
“ I’m looking to speak to an Evan Buckley. ”
“Umm, speaking.” His pulse quickens. He can feel it in his fingertips.
“ This is Luitenant Cantu from the EPFD. I’m calling about Firefighter Diaz, or more specifically his son, Christopher Diaz. ”
His heart stutters. The world stops spinning for a second, but he doesn’t. He feels the inertia throw him as if someone pulled the rug from under his feet. With a sharp heel kick to the chest, his heart switches to work overtime. “Oh my god, is he okay?” He must’ve gotten off the couch at some point because he’s pacing throughout the kitchen.
“ We’re in contact with Child Protective Services and it says here that you’re his legal guardian. Since Firefighter Diaz has been missing for 12 hours, we need somewhere to send Christopher. Would you be able to take him? ”
For the first time in his life, his brain goes quiet. His inner monologue rests its voice. The Wikipedia spewing and to-do list fade to rest leaving a blank canvas. Quiets to make space so the only information that it can process is the one that just went in. His vision has gone white. He can’t feel his toes. Eddie? Eddie’s missing? 12 hours? He pulls the phone from his ear, grips on onto the counter, and wretches into the sink.
“ —ckley? ” he catches the tail end of the question as he brings the phone back to his ear.
Through a croak he whispers, “Eddie’s been gone for 12 hours?” he can’t pick his jaw up so he moves it to the side with a twitch of his eye. If his elbow hadn’t been locked with his grip on the counter, he would’ve fallen directly to the floor.
“ Oh,” she hesitates. “ I thought you’d been informed, ” he hears remorse in Cantu’s voice, so he won’t take his anger out on her, but it’s burning in his stomach begging to be let out somewhere.
“Inform me,” is all he could choke out without screaming.
“According to his captain, on a routine call, Firefighter Diaz spotted a girl struggling in the Rio Grande. He dove in to save her, but our working theory is that they got swept into an undercurrent. Since we’re only able to search on the U.S. border, we’re only able to sweep half the river halting our progress.”
He should’ve guessed. Water or iron. The only two things that can separate him from a Diaz.
“But — but you’ve made progress?” his mouth is so dry.
There’s a moment of pause on the other side of the line. “ When would you be able to take Christopher? ”
“I can be there in 3 hours.”