Chapter Text
The air was too cold here; too bitter. With each step you took, you could feel it bite at your skin. The snow crunched under your boots- and you knew that when you arrived home, it wouldn’t be much better. You barely had heating, just cardboard over the windows in a desperate attempt to block out the cold. You’d consider yourself lucky if the wind hadn’t blown the cardboard off by the time you returned home.
You hated life here, but there wasn’t much you could do about it. The Gojo clan had been in power for as long as you can remember- but that wasn’t the issue. Sure, Kage-Ryū hadn’t ever been perfect, or even great by any means; but life used to be bearable. From what you’ve heard of the past, at least. It was only spoken of in hushed whispers, clandestine meetings in the most desolate areas of town. Those who were too curious- or vocal about it, seemed to disappear. If you were quick enough, sometimes you could catch Satoru’s men clearing out the apartments.
That was the issue. Satoru. He had strayed from the path of his family before him. He was cruel, vindictive. Evil. A country that once had the potential for greatness was plunged into darkness by him and him alone.
As much as you hated it, as much as you couldn’t stand this place, taking a stand against the Great Leader would surely mean a death sentence; or worse. You weren’t sure you had it in you to speak out. It was hard to be concerned with what would happen to others if you left. You had no family left, except for your mother- and you blamed your long-gone father for bringing you into this cursed nation. He had a chance to flee as a child- if he had, maybe then you would have had a chance, but it’d been 13 years since The Great Leader Satoru Gojo sent thousands of troops to every border crossing with orders to shoot on sight. There was no hope anymore, no way to escape.
So no, it wasn’t that. The issue was you. Despite everything, you were a coward at your core- one who was scared of the possibility of being killed publicly to dissuade others from following in your footsteps. One who was scared of the possibility of being forced to work under this godless regime. One who was scared of rotting away. One who knew nobody would come to save you.
You tried to ignore the thoughts as you walked, but they never really seemed to go away. You were home now, anyway. You had other things to worry about.
The air hit you like a wall as you creaked open the front door. The place was quiet—too quiet. The only sound was the faint crackling of the stove in the corner. You stepped inside quickly, seeking shelter from the blistering cold that seemed to follow you to your apartment.
“Mom?”
No answer. That wasn’t like her. The worry started to rise in your chest, but you did your best to shove it aside.
You moved through the dim room, feeling the sharp sting of the cold creep under your collar. The cardboard covering the windows had already been blown to the floor. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d felt warmth here.
You had tried to fix the windows, but they seemed stuck, and there was no way you could pay somebody to fix it for you. Nobody had that sort of money- unless you lived in Shinkyo, the capital. Shinkyo was far enough away, a place where things were different. Allegedly, at least. Those who lived there were the lucky ones, but even their lives weren’t great. They were decently tolerated by the regime for what they could provide to Kage-Ryū, and weren’t subject to the constant surveillance and scrutiny in the same way as the rest of the citizens. It still happened, of course, but it was significantly easier for them. You’d never know that life. It was a fantasy—something you’d pray for, knowing there was no god to save you.
At first, it looked like she was just sleeping. But no. No, this was different.
Her skin was too pale, her face too thin. The shallow rise and fall of her chest was ragged. Too slow. The blankets you had brought back for her, which usually provided some comfort, were no match for the temperatures outside. She had insisted you spend what little money you did have on making sure you were protected from the harsh winters of Kage-Ryū.
Your heart dropped, and you bent down beside her.
‘’Mom?’’
Your voice barely broke through the knot in your throat. Her hand was cold—too cold. You could feel it in your gut before you even registered it. The panic hit you, but you couldn't do anything. You never could.
The realization of it all hit you like a sucker punch. Your mother’s face was gaunt- her cheekbones were sunken in, and her eyebags were now more prominent than ever. Her lips were strangely pursed. You couldn’t figure out how you didn’t notice sooner. You wanted to scream, wanted to protest- wanted to do anything, but all that came out was a choked sob as you looked at your mother.
‘’Mom, please. Say something.’’
You tried to shake her awake. At first, it was gentle. Then more urgently.
‘’Mom! Wake up!’’
Your voice cracked this time, but it didn’t matter. There was no response anyway. You felt tears well in your eyes, but quickly wiped them with the rough sleeve of your jacket. Your mother was all you had, and she needed you. You couldn’t break down now. You were stronger than that- you liked to believe you were, at least.
You turned to the stove in the corner, desperately trying to stoke the fire- but there was no way you could. There wasn’t enough heat. There wasn’t enough of anything in this wasteland. The air around you was thick with illness and despair. It was suffocating. For a moment, you almost wished it would suffocate you. Whatever came after death had to be better than a life like this.
Your eyes glanced around the room- empty bowls on display, cracked heirloom plates, and faded family pictures on the wall. This was a prison sentence for a crime you never committed. You were trapped, and you wanted more than anything to escape.
Through the fog of despair in your mind, a single thought remained persistent. It was colder than the snow outside; burned more than any summer heat you’ve ever endured. It burrowed deep into your mind years ago, like some sort of parasite. Now, it had come back.
Do something. Stop him. Do something. Stop him. Do something. Stop him.
The words repeated in your mind like a mantra, louder and louder until you couldn't ignore them anymore. It was overpowering- you wanted it to stop. Deep down, you knew it wouldn’t. It never has.
You wanted to scream, wanted to cry. Wanted to do anything- but you couldn’t. It was too late for that. It was too late to save her.
You couldn’t let it end like this. You couldn’t keep waiting and hoping somebody else would fix this. Nobody was coming to save you, but you could save them.
You took a step back from the stove, taking in your mother’s form. Seeing her in this state crushed you under the weight of finality. This was no longer about survival, no longer about trying to make the best of life in this nation. No. This was about escaping this hellhole of a life.
This was about tearing down everything Satoru Gojo had created.