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“What the fuck are you eating?”
Andrew’s voice cuts through Kevin’s half-sleep state.
He had just been asleep, no?
He isn't eating anything, right?
Kevin shrugs out of his blanket just to be sure and raises his hands in surrender to show there's nothing in them. He unsticks his tongue from the roof of his mouth to use it to defend his honor before cracking one sleep-heavy eye open, expecting to find Andrew’s blank stare. What he isn't expecting is to see Andrew’s back frozen in the doorway, one foot in the living room, and one arm in his sweatshirt.
The responding crunch comes from the next room over, and Andrew takes off towards the sound.
Whoever is in the living room, it sounds like Neil Josten.
Whatever he is eating, it does not sound healthy.
Kevin jumps down from his bunk and rubs his clenched fists across his eyes, then an open hand through the knots in his hair.
He slowly makes his way into the next room to find himself in the middle of a tense stand-off.
“What?” Neil asks, flatly from one of the beanbag chairs, but his mouth is so full that it comes out as ‘whah’.
“I don't like repeating myself,” Andrew tells him.
Neil takes another bite in retaliation.
In his hand is what can only be described as a very large cracker. It almost looks like a sheet of paper. Kevin is too far away to see what the cracker actually looks like, but what he can see is that every possible crevice around him is covered in crumbs, and when he takes another bite, Kevin sees half of the piece crumble around him. At least that means it missed Neil’s mouth.
“What the fuck is that?” Kevin curls his lip at the disgusting sight. “Clean this up or we’re going to get ants.”
“Fuck off,” Neil says, before turning towards Andrew.
He munches thoughtfully and nods to the large box that is now taking up most of their kitchen counter. “I am actually not sure what this is, honestly. Mom used to buy a large box every year around the springtime. I don't know what it is or where it goes the rest of the year, but it always lasted us a few months if we were careful.”
Neil continues to chew as he straightens his legs and crosses one ankle over the other. More crumbs fall onto the floor.
Kevin huffs and goes to inspect the box with clenched teeth, only to find 5 plastic-wrapped sections with about 20 mega crackers in each sleeve. The sight ignites something inside him.
“Are you telling me that ‘Mommy-dearest’ forced you to wear the same 3 outfits over and over again but had room for a fucking 5 pound box of whatever the hell that is?” Andrew asks, pointing over his shoulder to where Kevin is standing.
“6 outfits,” Neil corrects with a shrug, “and food was a necessity, I had enough clothes.”
Kevin interjects before Andrew can reply, steam rising up and out of his ears.
“You are not eating all of this.” He turns to face Neil, “The calories alone”- he shudders at the thought- “there are no nutritional benefits, and it will just slow you down on the court.”
Neil maintains unrelenting eye contact as he takes another loud bite.
Andrew comes to poke around the box before Kevin can reply and breaks off a small piece of cracker. He takes a bite and chews with a slight scowl on his face before turning and walking back into the bedroom.
Kevin eyes the open package and, against his better judgment - call it curiosity - breaks off a corner piece before placing it in his mouth.
It is dry, brittle, and tastes like absolutely nothing.
“This is awful,” Kevin says, “why would you even eat this?”
“I didn't say it was good,” Neil settles a petulant look on him, “I said mom would buy it when we were on the run.”
Neil turns towards where Andrew disappeared to and yells, “We need to get his hearing checked!”
Kevin scowls before going to the hall closet to get a towel and making his way to the bathroom.
“You better clean up those crumbs.”
-
It’s only a few days later when Kevin comes home after a long fucking day of classes to find Neil and Andrew lounging on their beanbag chairs. Neil has a container of cottage cheese open on the floor, and Andrew has a jar of chocolate spread settled in between his knees.
In between them is the fucking box of crackers.
One of the sleeves is gone, and there is another half-eaten one on the coffee table. .
“Is this a fucking joke?” Kevin demands before there is a soft knock at the door.
“Fuck off, Kevin,” Neil says, his mouth full as Kevin goes to open the door.
Reene is in the doorway, and after a pleasant greeting, she moves around him to look at Andrew.
“Hello, Andrew,” then “Oh.”
She turns her head slightly to look at the box of crackers before a small smile appears on her face. “Are you eating matzah?”
“What the fuck is matzah?” Andrew asks her, chocolate smeared on his chin.
“It is the Jewish bread of affliction,” she explains.
Kevin closes the door with a muttered, “You can say that again.”
“Uhhh, what?” Neil asks.
“You know the story of the Exodus? From the Old Testament?” At their shaking heads, she explains. “The Israelites were slaves in Egypt, and when God rescued them, they didn't have time for their bread to rise. As a remembrance, every year there is the Jewish holiday of Passover, and that is the bread they eat.”
“That is not bread,” Kevin scoffs, “that is a box of empty calories designed to send me to an early grave.”
“May I have a piece?” Reene asos, and Andrew ignores her but pulls out a full cracker and spreads chocolate on about half of it.
“Thank you,” she says as she takes it. “I have never gotten the opportunity to try it.”
She sits down on the floor by the box and starts munching with the lunatics.
-
The weekend rolls around again, and with it comes a perfect mix of vodka, sleeping in, and extra time at the gym.
Kevin feels like he has to work out twice as hard to compensate for his roomates unnecessary obsession with the fucking matzah .
He is freshly showered when Coach gives him a ride back to the dorm, and after a lively and productive conversation about how useless the new freshmen are, Kevin is kicked out of his father’s car and makes his way upstairs.
There is a loud burst of laughter coming from one of the dorms, and Kevin is eternally grateful he lives with recluses who don’t have a social life, so he doesn’t have to deal with unnecessary people in his space.
He sticks his key in the lock only to find the door already slightly ajar.
He pushes it fully open to a cacophony of voices yelling and glasses clinking.
All of the fucking Foxes are in Kevin’s dorm room, and even worse, the box of matzah is spread out between them.
“Kevin!” Matt yells from the couch. He has a bowl of soup in front of him with two dumplings in it. “You’re just in time for - how do you say it again? - matzah fest!”
Kevin is frozen in the doorway. They are all chewing on the crackers in one way or another, dipping them into soup, adding spreads to them, there is a bag of ground matzah next to Reene while she spoons soup into bowls.
Nicky and Aaron are playing video games, and Dan and Allison are pouring drinks, and Kevin grabs the handle of vodka and makes a beeline to his room.
“C’mon, Kevin!” Nicky shouts, his eyes glued to the TV, “Don't be a killjoy.”
“You’re all doing to fucking die an early death,” Kevin tells them, shouldering his way through the throng of people. Neil and Andrew are on the floor and making shapes out of the crackers.
“New York,” Andrew says, holding up a piece that only vaguely resembles the state.
“Exy racket,” Neil retorts, holding up two pieces.
Kevin is going to lose it.
“You’re being anti-Semitic,” Neil says to Kevin as he passes, half the exy racket stick in his mouth.
“Oh fuck you,” Kevin says back, but makes the mistake of looking back at the group to see them all nodding somberly at Neil’s words.
“None of you are even Jewish!”
“You don't have to be Jewish to enjoy some matzah!” Matt says, “Plus, we needed to finish the box. You don't want ants, do you?”
Kevin is actually going to fucking lose it.
“Why don't you try some matzah ball soup?” Renee interjects.
“What the fuck is that?” Kevin asks, distracted by the bowl she is holding. He is quite hungry, but he's not that hungry. “If it takes anything like the crackers, then no thanks.”
“It's actually very good. It's Jewish dumplings. I think you will like it.”
Kevin looks around the room at his team and reluctantly takes the bowl from her outstretched hand and settles on the couch next to Matt.
“That's the spirit,” he says, slapping a hand on Kevin’s back.
Kevin scowls before blowing on a spoonful of dumpling and takes a small bite.
It is soft and spongy and salty and actually quite good.
With a scowl on his face and the warmth of the broth filling his stomach, Kevin can admit, in this state, matzah is actually pretty good.