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BANG!
The sound reverating and reverbing from that gun was louder and more all-encompassin’ than a rooster’s crow in the earliest hour of the morning. And sakes alive, was it unwelcome.
Lucy Gray clapped her hands over her mouth to prevent herself from making a sound as she stared at Billy Taupe’s body, crumpled up like a potato sack on the ground. A sinister curl of smoke was wafting up from the end of Spruce’s gun, and Coriolanus looked as pale as his namesake.
She thought Spruce might not believe what he’d done either, surely he couldn’t, after all, how could somebody just take a life so quick and easy as that? But the way he spoke to her next, hushed up and serious, told her he wasn’t in a state of shock the way she was.
“You better do like he said,” he hissed. “Before they miss you and someone comes looking.”
Who? Like who said? Billy Taupe?
She felt hands rough around her shoulders, through the stiff crinkly orange lace, and looked up. Coriolanus, that’s who. She faced him, starin’ up into those blue eyes, light and shifting like the sky on a windy day.
“Go. I’ll take care of this,” he said, good and grave.
“Coriolanus, I-” she trailed off.
Lucy Gray could hear Maude Ivory singing outside. Sunny Side, she thought. A real big hit with the miners. They appreciated the irony the lyrics cast on their dreary lives, and when they’d had a little to drink, they liked it even more. Seemed like Maude Ivory was positively causin’ a ruckus out there. Casting a horrible irony on their little situation in here, too. Billy Taupe could play Sunny Side real good on that tune box of his…
Billy Taupe! Gone!
Just then, the crowd burst into cheering, which Lucy Gray knew to signal the end of the song. Coriolanus whispering in her ear made her neck tickle with nerves and jumpiness.
“You were never here,” he said.
And then she was stumbling, stumbling out of that back room, the room only an hour ago Maude Ivory had been cracking that joke about a grasshopper or something or other. Sweet, darlin’ Maude Ivory- oh, what would happen when Maude Ivory learned- no. Not time to be thinkin’ thoughts like that. Time to get back up.
The applause from aftermath of the song was still echoing around in that old tin room, so Lucy Gray took hold of the moment and forced her feet to move on up towards the stage, slipping past rowdy miners and tipsy townfolk. The hand of a big brute of a man, drunk as a skunk and smellin’ like it, reached out for her as she pushed her way through, and she slipped out of his reach, heart slamming in her chest. She could barely breathe- it was so hot in here- how was she gonna sing?
After an eternity and more, she reached the stage and hopped back up, waving a little to part of the crowd that started cheerin’ again at the sight of her, and slipped to the back where Barb Azure was fixing a piece of her sash that had slipped.
“And she’s back, everybody!!” Maude Ivory was saying over the crowd, cheer in her voice. “Bet you thought she’d gone straight back to the Capitol, didn’t you?”
The crowd laughed, and Barb Azure looked up as Lucy Gray gave her sleeve a quick tug.
“Hey, where’d you go?” she asked.
“Coriolanus- I- there’s trouble, we just- I can’t do That Thing I Love With. Just go straight to Clementine.”
Barb Azure nodded, not asking questions, just tapping a quick finger signal to Tam Amber over the strings of her bass, who nodded, readjusting his mandolin. He in turn lightly pressed on Clerk Carmine’s foot with the toe of his shoe, tapping the same signal to him. CC looked surprised but he repositioned his bow. Lucy Gray quickly ran up to the microphone to join Maude Ivory, praying her voice wouldn’t shake too bad when she opened her mouth.
“Just grabbin’ myself a slip of water, y’all, nothing wrong with that, is there?” she said, forcing a smile onto her face. The crowd responded in kind, with cheers of approval, so she knew she was in the clear. “You know what goes good with Sunshine is ripe ol’ fruit, right? We’re gonna sing you a little song called after one of my favorites,” she said. Maude Ivory looked up at her, wide eyed at the change of the set list, but she just mouthed, Clementine, and that girl seemed to pick it up.
With relief, Lucy Gray stepped back, slipping her guitar strap over her shoulder, heart racing faster than she could move herself. Barb Azure shot her a look, she could feel it, but she would not make eye contact. Coriolanus was right. She couldn’t go down for this.
All night long, she strummed and hummed and harmonized and sang her best. Eventually, she had worked up the courage to lead That Thing I Love With, her voice only breaking the tiniest bit when she sang the words, "still comes a-crawlin’ to you”. Billy Taupe was dead. She could barely think, so she did her best not to.
As Maude Ivory thanked the crowd and bid them a friendly good-night, Lucy Gray looked around, foolishly trying to spot that blonde head of his. Where was Coriolanus? Had he taken the guns? Did he make it out? Had he been caught? Was he strung up in the square? Had she lost both her loves tonight?
Barb Azure waited until the building was all clear of Peacekeepers except one or two lingering by the exits, and then came up to Lucy Gray, quiet-like.
“What happened?” she asked. “Are you okay?”
Lucy Gray’s fingers were shaking as she fumbled to pull her guitar strap over her shoulder. Billy Taupe had embroidered it with flowers himself. The roughly stitched daisies and columbine on it had never looked perfect, but she couldn’t bear to get rid of it, not even after the Games. She had always said it was perfectly moulded to her size, and she’d simply never be able to find anything else quite as custom.
“I’m okay. But- Barb Azure- Maude Ivory, don’t go in there!!” Lucy Gray started, but she was cut off by Maude Ivory’s scream.
Tam Amber and Clerk Carmine, who had been playing catch with a feather and their hats as mitts, looked up in alarm, and Barb Azure’s hand latched onto Lucy Gray’s arm.
Maude Ivory was swaying in the doorway of the break-room, clutching onto the side of the wall, not moving. Lucy Gray wrenched her arm out of Barb Azure’s grip and rushed to Maude Ivory.
The pool of blood surrounding Billy Taupe and Mayfair filled the space in the absence of Coriolanus and the others. Mayfair was lyin’ face down, muddled up by the color red and not quite easy to place, but Billy Taupe’s eyes were open straight up to the heavens. Anybody could recognize him- and of course Maude Ivory had.
“B-B-Billy T-Taupe,” Maude Ivory was stuttering, staring at the bodies with wide eyes popping right out of her head. Lucy Gray sank to her knees like a stone in the lake, unable to do much more than stare right with her and drown in the full realization of what had happened.
Barb Azure caught up to them, saw the bodies, and immediately grabbed Maude Ivory, hiding her face in her skirt.
“Oh, honey, Maude Ivory, don’t look. Don’t look, baby,” she said, stroking the tangles of blonde curls and trying to make sense of the scene.
“What is it?” Clerk Carmine asked behind them, clutching his hat with the feather still inside. “What’d Maude Ivory see??”
Lucy Gray stood up immediately, noting the worry in Tam Amber’s eyes next to him and feeling sick. “CC, don’t go in there. Come on, darlin’, you don’t want-” and suddenly she just burst into tears and fell apart completely. It was too much, simply too much to bear. It was supposed to be okay, after the Games, everything was supposed to go back to normal. Trouble wasn’t supposed to follow her back from the Capitol. People weren’t supposed to die. She thought she was done killing.
“What??” she heard Clerk Carmine demanding, trying to push past Barb Azure to get into that damned room.
“Don’t!!” Lucy Gray sobbed. Tam Amber, who could see into the room over Maude Ivory’s head, swallowed and held onto Clerk Carmine.
“LET GO!” CC yelled, fighting against Tam Amber’s arms.
“CC, stop-” Tam Amber started, but with one last mighty tug, Clerk Carmine freed himself and scrambled away to the door. Lucy Gray buried her face in her hands, weeping and feeling the makeup on her eyes leavin’ dark tracks down her cheeks as Clerk Carmine started to cry.
“No- Billy Taupe,” he cried. “Billy Taupe!”
Tam Amber was holding him back from running to his older brother’s side, which was a good thing, because the Peacekeepers by the door were comin’ over now.
“What’s going on here?” one of them asked Lucy Gray, as she stumbled to her feet, wobbling on the heel of her boot.
“I- I don’t know- we just found bodies in the shed,” she stuttered, trying wipe her face off and speak as clearly as possible. More Peacekeepers were starting to come in.
“What?” he said, pushing past her to the shed door, shoving the rest of the Covey members out of the way. “Oh, shit.”
Clerk Carmine was sobbing into Tam Amber’s arms, and Maude Ivory was still hiding in Barb Azure’s skirts, while tears dripped down off her chin and she looked on.
“Billy Taupe,” Clerk Carmine was crying, “Billy Taupe, Billy Taupe!”
“Shh,” Barb Azure said, stroking the top of his head.
Lucy Gray found the strength to walk over to meet them as Peacekeepers flooded to the scene, shouting orders and yelling about witnesses and whatnot. Tam Amber squeezed her hand.
“I’m so sorry, Lucy Gray,” he said, big brown eyes full of earnest and a quiet sadness. Tam Amber always somehow seemed like he’d been alive a hundred years, and his deep, silent grief was somehow comforting in this moment.
“It’s alright, I- I just never thought this could happen,” she said, wiping underneath her eyes again in a failing effort to stop the flow of tears. “I never thought one of us-”
“It ain’t your fault, Lucy Gray,” he said, rubbing his thumb, rough from metalwork and pottery and all other manner of things, over her hand. “It ain’t your fault.”
A Peacekeeper was walking towards them, and Lucy Gray kissed Clerk Carmine’s head, wanting more than anything to shield him from whatever was comin’ next. He didn’t deserve any of this. He was only a sweet twelve year old boy, voice ain’t even changed yet.
“You all found the bodies?”
Barb Azure was the one to speak up, bein’ sort of the leader of their group in these situations. “Yeah, just a minute ago.” She nodded her head to the doorway. “That there’s our break-room, all our stuff’s in there.”
“We’re gonna need all of you to come in for questioning,” was all he said in response to that, staring them down coldly.
Maude Ivory looked up at him, face puffy and red. “Wha- you think we a-murdered him?? He’s our family!”
“Maude Ivory-” Lucy Gray tried to get her to shut it, knowing this would only lead to more trouble. Trouble.
“Family?” The Peacekeeper raised an eyebrow. “What’s she mean?”
“Please, sir, he’s Covey,” Lucy Gray explained, hands shaking violently and trying to focus on the calm of Tam Amber’s grip. “He grew up with us, he’s my lov- well, he plays a real mean accordion. None of us here woulda done a thing to him, swear it.”
Tam Amber nodded to back her up, and Barb Azure confirmed. “Yeah, he’s one of our flock.”
CC let out a fresh sob at that, and the reason why wasn’t lost on Lucy Gray. Ever since the reaping, Billy Taupe had been warned to never come back to their house, told he would never be part of the Covey again. And here they were, reclaimin’ him when it was too late. Reclaimin’ him in death. She knew Coriolanus probably wouldn’t approve of that.
“Well, you lot are coming back to the base with us. Better you don’t say anything else,” The Peacekeeper said, signaling to one of his friends. “I won’t cuff you, but you better not cause any trouble.”
There it was again, that damn-ed word.
They were sleeping in a holding cell on the base that night.
All five of them fit in there. Tam Amber and Barb Azure had leaned up against the wall next to each other, both of ‘em creating a sort of cushion for Maude Ivory, who was snuggled up between them.
Clerk Carmine had wanted to sleep alone. He was curled up in a corner, knees tucked up to his chest and curls falling in his face. Lucy Gray couldn’t tell if he was sleepin’ or not, the moon was shining on the opposite side of the wall, right in her eyes.
Billy Taupe was gone. She had been struggling to believe it all night, but she thought her brain might finally be comin’ around to the truth of it all. It was just so hard to sort out all the feelings.
Coriolanus was always snoopin’ about Billy Taupe, trying to find out as much information as he could about her past relationship with him, but at the same time hating anything he heard and making a fuss about it. She avoided the subject, usually, preferring Coryo when he wasn’t all fussy. And if she was honest, it would be lyin’ to say it wasn’t a good deal easier for her that way, too.
She had no idea what to make of Billy Taupe after she came back from the Games. Before the arena, she had been focused on making him pay. Making him rue every damn second of his life, pouring salt in the wound, doing everything she possibly could to force him to see every nook and cranny of horrible damage he and Mayfair’d caused. It was a way to have some agency, to feel like she had a control of the situation. Singin’ that song, knowing he was hurtin’ just hearing it, it felt good. But after the arena, the whole thing seemed small.
Not that a rigged reapin’s a small deal, just that once you’ve faced death a hundred times over, killed, cheated, fought tooth and nail and seen kids ripped apart in front of you, it’s just hard to hold a grudge once you’re back home. Hard to focus on anything other than the beauty of bein’ alive, loving your family, singing a song. You had to be grateful for what remained, or else you’d wither up and die from the horror of what had happened.
But then Coriolanus had showed up, against every odd, swept her off her feet, danced back into her life, somehow. Somehow that beautiful boy had survived, just as she had. And it’d be wrong to every livin’ thing not to take the chance on him now, now that they’d both surmounted the impossible odds. So Billy Taupe could never be in that picture, could never wiggle his way back in. Because he didn’t fit anymore. So she just tried to forget.
Trouble is, (there was that word again) forgettin’s real easy to say, much harder to do. She’d been going steady with Billy Taupe since she was twelve years old. She’d known him practically her whole life, and they’d done everything together. He was her first crush, her first kiss, the first she crossed the line with, lighting that fire for the very first time. She’d never known anything but Billy Taupe, and she never thought she would know anything other than him. She never even wanted to. And findin’ out that he did nearly broke her heart. But still, she couldn’t quit thinkin’ about the way he used to collect armsful of honeysuckle for her out in the fields on her birthday, and tail her around like a little lost dog, and how that tune-box somehow sang oh-so-sweetly with her guitar. He’d make up songs for her, funny ones that were never real like hers were, but she didn’t mind. He’d sing silly things about the way her lips puckered up when she was angry or about the warble of her voice when she’d mimic a bird call. They’d lay out in the Meadow for hours, her head rested on his lap, him strokin’ her hair and croonin’ to her. He was sweet, really, just a gentle thing. He just had a wandering soul.
A sniff from the opposite side of the cell took her out of her thoughts, and Lucy Gray looked up. Maybe Clerk Carmine hadn’t been as asleep as she’d thought.
“CC?” she whispered, cautiously.
No response, just another sniff from the pile of braided curls in the corner.
“Hey, com’ere, baby,” she said, patting the spot on the ground next to her. After a long moment, Clerk Carmine raised his head, looked at her for a moment, and then scooted over to her side of the cell.
“Don’t be shy,” she said, wrapping an arm around him protectively and letting him rest his head on her shoulder. He sniffed again, and she could tell he was trying not to cry.
“Real bad day, wasn’t it?” she said, eyes on the wall in front of her and the moonlight filtering through. “Hard to see the bright side of this one.”
CC was quiet for a minute, except for the occasional sniffle.
“Did you still love him? Even after?” he asked, his voice cracked up and reminding her of an injured little chick. It took everything in her not to break down cryin’ just then.
“I think so,” was all she trusted herself to say. All she really did know.
“Me too,” he whispered.
“Well, he was your big brother,” she whispered back. “And big siblings are extra-special. I’m real sorry he’s gone, CC.”
They sat in the quiet for a while longer, Lucy Gray rubbing his back with gentle fingers and Clerk Carmine starting to un-tense after a good long time. She never had an older brother. She couldn’t imagine losing somebody like that at such a young age. Suddenly her throat hardened, and her heart filled with resolve.
“I’m gonna take real good care of you, CC. Okay? I’ll be your big sibling, if you’ll let me.”
“Okay,” he whispered. She could tell he was almost asleep.
She pressed a kiss on his temple, smoothing it over with his hair.
“Okay.”
There would be no more troubles tonight.