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"So," Clark said, sprawled on his stomach in a grassy area just beyond the union at MetU, "I was thinking that we should, I dunno. Take a trip sometime."
"A trip?" Lex asked, shading his eyes from the sun with his right hand. "What kind of trip?"
"You know. Like a vacation or something."
"Or something."
"Uh huh." Clark trailed a finger over Lex's ankle before Lex flinched. Clark frowned and let his hand fall to the grass, matted and tangled beneath his fingers. "You've looked really tired lately."
Pulling the sleeves of a white cotton shirt down over his wrists and running a hand atop his head -- presumably to check if it was burning -- Lex answered, "I've been really busy."
"Which is why I've hardly seen you."
"I'm here now," Lex pointed out.
"And you won't even let me touch you."
"We're in public."
Pushing himself up on his arms, Clark quickly scanned the students lazing about on this incredibly warm April day. People in shorts and t-shirts with the sleeves rolled up; people playing frisbee and volleyball; some flying past on bicycles wearing brightly-colored helmets. He finally pointed to a couple seated beneath a tree, holding hands and whispering to each other in an annoyingly romantic way.
"They're in public," he said.
Lex's forehead crumpled and he started tugging at the fabric around his ankles.
"That's different."
"How is that different?" Clark challenged, pushing his hair out of his eyes where the wind tossed it.
A bead of sweat rolled down Lex's face until it met the seam of his lips. He licked it away.
"It just is."
"Why, because they're under a tree?"
Lex shook his head. "No."
"Because they're wearing matching colors?"
His cheeks flushed further. "No."
"Is it because they're straight?" Clark spat.
And to this, Lex didn't answer.
In the distance, the belltower chimed out Sakura, and Clark pulled up a plug of grass and chucked it at the granite boulder beneath the flagpole. It struck and crumbled. Clark stared after it and sank back onto his stomach, tracing the little hole in the earth with his fingertips and not blinking even though the wind picked up and threatened dirt into his face. Lex turned his head and closed his eyes against it.
"It's bad enough that I hardly see you," Clark finally spoke, the rumble of a jet engine somewhere overhead. "But when I do, and you act like this, I've gotta wonder what the the hell we're doing."
He patted down the ragged edges and tried to arrange the remaining grass to hide the damage.
"So, what I mean is, you're my best friend. I love you. I really love you, but, maybe it'd be better if we were just best friends again. Cause I can't do this. I'm not ashamed of you, but if you're ashamed of me, I won't --"
"Clark." Lex's voice, smooth and steady. A hand reaching out to touch his arm and quiet him. "I've never been ashamed of you."
Clark gave up, lay his head down on the grass and closed his eyes, felt its cool dampness tickle his upper lip and nose. He concentrated on Lex's hand just barely moving along his shoulder.
"It's just that I've never done this before."
"You've been married twice."
Clark heard Lex sigh, and the hand pulled away.
"I mean this. Like it or not, Clark, this is different. Maybe not to you, but in the eyes of a lot of people. We could get hurt because of this. You could get killed. And I don't want that to happen."
"You know I'm kind of invincible, right?" Clark mumbled against the grass.
"Yeah. But I'm not."
The bells rang out another familiar song, and a scrap of paper blew past on the sidewalk. Clark felt the sweat along his neck cooling in the breeze. He reached his hand out again, intending on Lex's ankle, and was surprised when he felt fingers entwine with his.
"I'm trying," Lex murmured, and Clark squeezed his hand gently.
"I know."