Chapter Text
The following morning the bells of Winterfell rang out loud and frantic. The firstborn daughter of Eddard Stark had vanished into the night like a puff of smoke. Guards searched the entire castle while the household servants were questioned thoroughly, but no one could account for what happened.
Lord Stark himself questioned her maid. “I tucked her into bed myself, m’ lord, I swear on the old gods it’s true. She’d gone for a walk after the banquet to clear her head but she came back before nightfall. She’s always been a good girl like that. I swear, m’ lord, I put her to bed myself. I just don’t know how anyone could have snuck in…”
“Ned…”
Eddard looked over at his wife who was perched on the side of Sansa’s bed. A crumpled letter lay on her lap.
"I found this on her pillow. Nobody stole Sansa away..." Catelyn whispered. "...she left."
'Dearest mamma,
By the time you find this letter, I will be far away. I beg you not to come looking for me.
Please know that I am safe. I’m safe, and I’m happy. I’m so happy that I could sing for sheer joy.
Not that it doesn’t sadden me to leave you all. My heart indeed feels like it’s being pulled apart. I expect you and papa will be very cross with me and so will Robb. I don’t ask for your forgiveness as I do not deserve it, but perhaps I might plead for your understanding? For I haven’t made this decision lightly, mamma, and I owe you an explanation for this uncharacteristic act.
Uncharacteristic? Perhaps once.
I haven't spoken to you about my time with Mance Rayder or the wildlings and you haven't questioned me about it either, save for when you asked if I was in the family way. I wonder if you knew deep down there was more to the tale? For I find myself thinking about that time more and more. Of the chieftain hall I slept in, of sledging over vast white plains, of the winter roses Jon showed me. Mance never touched me in that way, mamma, but I can still hear his laughter in my head. He always said that we were the ones who are savage and cruel, while the wildlings were free-folk. It makes me angry when I find myself agreeing with him. Would it shock you to know that sometimes...I'm glad he stole me?
Because he did steal me and in the end he won, for I do not belong in Winterfell anymore, mamma. There is Wilding in my soul now.
I have felt an ache inside my heart ever since I came back. At first I was so glad to be with you that I ignored it but over time the ache became maddening. And then at the banquet… I realised what was wrong. I realised that I could no longer live in Winterfell and be the Sansa you all knew…because that sweet girl is no more. She was lost above the Wall and the girl who came back to you is someone else entirely. I'm not even sure who this girl is but I suspect that's part of the fun of growing up.
But I do know that I will not sit idly by and be wed to someone against my will. I cannot. Not when my heart and mind and soul belong elsewhere...to a man who is brave and gentle and strong. After the banquet last night we became lovers so I expect no southern princeling would want to wed me now anyway. Are you shocked, mamma? I met a warrior called Val above the Wall who loved fiercely and freely. I remember being appalled by her at the time...but now? It doesn't seem like such a tall request.
So you see, I have not been kidnapped or stolen like before. This time, it’s my own choice to run away.
My only regret is the pain I must be causing you all. Please tell father that I love him dearly and hold no ill will against him. I understand that great lord's must sometimes make difficult decisions and I will not embarrass him publicly by refusing the prince. I will leave it to you both to decide what tale you wish to spin about my leaving.
Tell Robb that I hope one day he will understand my choosing love over duty. Tell Bran and baby Rickon I love them.
I suspect you won't need to tell Arya anything at all. That she understands better than anyone what I'm feeling.
And lastly, mamma, I pray that one day we will be reunited once more and understand one another as women grown. I will always love you.
Sansa.
When they finished reading, Lord and Lady Stark looked around Sansa's childhood bedroom as though seeing it for the very first time. They caught sight of the many books piled up by the fireplace (the titles boasting poetry, languages, art). They noticed the large map of Braavos rolled out on the table. They saw a pair of worn breeches folded up over the chair (which she wore secretly beneath her dress while riding).
Catelyn stood up without a word and peered out of the open window. Sansa had torn up the blankets from her bed to use as a rope so she could climb down the castle wall. Wherever had she learnt that from?
"I'll call the guards."
"No."
"Cat?"
Catelyn closed her eyes. "No, Ned. No guards. No hounds. If we drag her back now she will hate us for it. She's no longer our baby girl, but a woman grown. Sansa's made her choice...and we have to accept it. May the Gods watch over her."
It wasn't until later that Robb informed them that Jon was missing too. As was the babe.
"Both gone without a trace..." Robb frowned. "I knew he loved her but I never thought he would actually steal her."
(but the lordling was only half-right, for she stole him)