Archive of Our Own

Gaara blinked slowly, his heavy eyelids taking a while to lift. He barely registered the hand waving in front of him, but the blond hair was unmistakable.

“Man, you look terrible,” said Naruto Uzumaki instead of saying good morning, throwing himself into the chair next to him.

He couldn't contain the cynical laugh that escaped his lips, curving them upward. “Thanks.”

“No, seriously.” His friend stopped rummaging through his backpack in search of his pencil case — that is, if he had brought it — and looked him in the eyes, electric blue meeting serene sea green. “It looks like you haven't slept in five days.”

“I feel like I haven't slept in five days too.” Gaara rubbed his eyes, the deep circles under them looking like makeup with how dark they were. “But it's okay, I'm used to it.”

It was meant to reassure the blond, but Naruto just grimaced, his eyebrows knitting together and his lips forming a pout. “You shouldn't be!”

Ever since he met him, Naruto had always been like this: an unstoppable force of nature, stubborn and confident. If he wanted something, he would get it, no matter how much effort it took. And if he thought something was unfair, he made a point of speaking his mind.

Their first encounter went like this: it was the first day of class for the pedagogy course, Gaara had just moved to the city and didn't know anyone. That wasn't enough reason to change his usual unfriendly face, which only served to scare away anyone who even considered talking to him.

As he was leaving the orientation room, he bumped into Uzumaki, who was talking to other students as if he had known them for years and wasn't paying attention to where he was walking, causing both of them to fall to the floor. Instead of apologizing for what had happened and moving on, Naruto looked up at him and announced loudly, “You're new here, aren't you!?”

Gaara's expression only worsened when he was put in the spotlight, he hated receiving attention from strangers. The blond found it funny, laughing freely. “You don't have to make that face, you look like you're going to bite me!” For a second, Gaara felt an absurd urge to growl and bare his teeth. "Come here, I'll show you around town! My name is Naruto Uzumaki, what's yours?" The boy stood up and offered a hand.

He should have ignored it or slapped that hand away. If it had happened a few years earlier, he would have done just that, but he had promised his siblings that he would try to get along with the people in his class. Taking a deep breath, Gaara made an impulsive decision and accepted the offered hand, letting the other boy pull him up. “Gaara. Just Gaara.”

This earned him a beaming smile from the other, who felt comfortable enough to wrap his arm around Gaara's shoulder and pull him close. “Okay, Just Gaara, you're in luck! I know everything around here, I can show you anything you want! So, where do you want to start our wonderful tour?”

There were too many things happening at once and he was starting to feel dizzy. The other students Naruto had been talking to had left, leaving the two of them standing alone in the hallway, too close to each other. Before he could think of a response, Gaara's stomach growled, loud enough to be heard by the blond, who laughed sincerely.

“Okay, I think that's the answer! Let's go to the best buffet restaurant in the area, you'll see, it's pretty cheap!” And so Naruto dragged him out of college and into his life. In the blink of an eye, everything Gaara knew was turned upside down in a double somersault. And worst of all, the redhead liked it.

“Hey, Gaara, come back down to earth!” He was suddenly snapped out of his memories with a snap of fingers in front of his eyes. Gaara blinked repeatedly, trying to adjust his vision back to the present. He found himself face to face with his friend, their breaths mingling. “Did you fall asleep with your eyes open?”

“No, I was just thinking...” he muttered, feeling his cheeks flush. He looked away, turning his gaze to the floor. “You're going to fall if you lean on the chair like that.”

"No, I'm not, I know what I’m doing! And don't even try to change the subject, young man. What's going on? I thought you had solved your insomnia." It was true that Gaara had always had trouble falling asleep, but since he had adjusted his medication, the problem seemed to have been alleviated.

The thing was, his troubled mind had found a new target to keep him awake, mulling it over from different angles and creating fantastical possibilities.

Recently, Gaara had realized something: he was in love with Naruto. It was so obvious that the revelation didn't even shock him, it just seemed natural. His delay in realizing this was more surprising than anything else.

In the last days, when trying to fall asleep, Gaara could only think of the blond, his warm personality, his kindness and empathy, his eyes bluer than the sky and his sunflower hair. He thought about how Naruto always treated him well, how the blond liked to touch and hug him all the time, how he used affectionate nicknames and cared about Gaara. He wondered what it would be like to date him, what it would be like to kiss those pink lips and feel the sharp canines on his skin, to be able to return his caresses without worry, to be able to call him his.

He was so fixated on this, remembering their moments together since they met and inventing future moments, that he couldn't sleep. His mind refused to shut down, more entertained by his reveries.

“I thought so too, but these things are difficult to deal with.” He returned to the conversation after an overly long pause. His eyes focused on the way Naruto unconsciously bit his lower lip, the gears in his head turning behind that worried look.

“Is there anything I can do to help you? I hate to see you like this.” As always, the Uzumaki wanted to solve the world's problems as if they were his responsibility. Gaara felt a wave of affection wash over him.

“Unless you plan on sleeping for me, I don't think so. And I'm always like this, you know?” He laughed at the other's constipated expression. He felt lighter just talking to him, even though the fatigue remained. Naruto had no idea how much he had helped him and continued to help him every day.

“I didn't mean it that way, you understood me...” He scratched the back of his neck and looked away, as if he were embarrassed. Those who knew him knew very well that “Naruto Uzumaki” and “embarrassment” were two things that didn’t mix.

“If you say so.” Gaara agreed, amused. He couldn't hold back his smiles when he was around the other.

Naruto fell silent, thoughtful for a few seconds, a rare sight to behold. He was really taking the matter seriously. Then, his expression changed and Gaara could clearly see the moment an idea entered the blond's head, which meant that whatever he had decided, he would make it happen.

It was fascinating, like watching an accident happen in front of you in slow motion. He couldn't stop him and didn't know if he felt anxious in a positive or negative way. He was curious, that was a fact.

Naruto tried to get closer without leaving his seat, his body suddenly leaning forward. “I’ve got it! What if...” Before he could finish his thought, the momentum he had built up caused his chair to lift off the floor and tip over, knocking him down with a crash.

Class hadn't started yet and there were only a few students in the room. Everyone was startled by the noise and turned around, grumbling about the class troublemaker. Naruto just laughed, carefree as always. Seeing that his friend was okay, Gaara laughed out loud, putting his hand over his mouth. He was even tearing up with amusement.

“I told you... you were going to fall...” He made a point of saying between laughs, running out of breath. Naruto got up and straightened the chair, putting his hands on his hips and staring at him while standing up.

“Ha, ha, very funny.” He tried to mock him, but his eyes betrayed how much he enjoyed seeing Gaara laugh, curved with an undeniable affection for the other. “And here I am, worried about you... I know who the real ones are...”

“Uh-huh.” Gaara nodded, calming down from his fit of laughter. His cheeks hurt; he wasn't used to smiling so much. “What was your brilliant idea?” He couldn't contain his curiosity.

“I can't sleep for you, but I can sleep with you!” Naruto shouted excitedly, clapping his hands. Gaara choked on his own saliva, feeling his face burn. Some students turned around, looking at them out of the corner of their eyes.

“What?” he asked after coughing his lungs out, red as if he had heatstroke.

“Not like that, get your head out of the gutter,” Naruto joked, clicking his tongue and shaking his head. Gaara imagined for a second what “like that” would be like and immediately wished for a hole to open up in the ground and swallow him whole. "You're sleeping at my place tonight, so I dare you to not get a good night's sleep. If it's up to me, you'll sleep for about 12 hours straight!"

Gaara stared at him in disbelief, not knowing where to start. “You're going to drug me, then.”

“Only as a desperate last resort.” Naruto agreed, naturally.

His friend was crazy, but Gaara felt even crazier for considering the idea. “Since when do you decide where I sleep?”

“Since now. Come on, today is Friday and it's not like you have anything to do tomorrow anyway.” Unfortunately, the blond knew him very well. Even though he pretended to be offended, they both knew he didn't care.

“Who said that? Tomorrow I'm going out with Temari and Kankuro.” He made it up on the spot, keeping a neutral expression.

“All right, then reschedule. If you want, I'll send them a message right now.” Naruto took his cell phone out of his pocket, unlocking it without batting an eye.

Knowing he had lost, Gaara sighed. “No need, I'll talk to them myself. But I don't have any clothes to sleep there.”

“Borrow mine, we're the same size,” he replied promptly. He seemed to have thought about it more than expected. Usually, Naruto's plans were like him: impulsive and nonsensical.

“Won't your parents mind?” He tried again, but he knew the answer he would get.

"Of course not, you're family! I think they'll like having you there more than they like having me." Naruto already considered himself victorious, knowing that Gaara had no arguments left.

Of course, if Gaara simply said he didn't want to, Naruto would let it go and respect his wish. The problem was that Gaara wanted it too much, he wanted to live with Naruto and see him every day from morning to night.

“I'll go.” The blond celebrated, letting out a cry of joy. “But! I'll bring something for us to eat, at least. We'll stop by the market on the way.” He crossed his arms, staring at Naruto, challenging him to accept the proposal.

“You really don't need to, there's plenty at home.” Naruto stepped back, maintaining eye contact and accepting the challenge.

“It doesn't matter, I'm not going to be a freeloader. Either I bring something or I'm not going.” He put finality in his tone, leaving no room for argument.

“You can bring your radiant presence.” The blond joked with a smirk, waving his fingers.

“And a cake for dessert.” He saw the other's interest piqued, so he finished the deal. “Coconut cake with chocolate frosting.”

“Okay, okay, you win,” Naruto grumbled. “Deal.” He held out his hand to seal the agreement. Gaara shook it, feeling the warmth emanating from the other's palm, noticing how the larger hand engulfed his.

As if scripted, the teacher arrived at that moment to begin class, asking everyone to quiet down. Naruto and Gaara exchanged a knowing glance and began typing in their cell phones, sending the messages they needed to put their plan into action.

Temari and Kankuro, with whom Gaara had been living since he moved, immediately supported the idea, telling him to “be sensible” and have fun.

It seemed there was no turning back: he would sleep in the same place as the source of his insomnia.

Gaara was anxious for the night to come.

X

They stopped at the market on the way to Naruto's house, as promised. Gaara bought the cake and Naruto bought dinner for both of them, which he decided on the spot.

Naruto lived in an apartment near the college, just a 15 minute walk away. The day had been sunny, and they could still feel the last rays of sunlight, the sky turning a mesmerizing orange. Naruto's silhouette, walking with his back turned so he could continue looking at Gaara, was like something out of a dream. The light reflected off his light hair, forming an angelic aura around his head.

When he was little, Gaara didn't understand romance novels or movies with their exaggerated metaphors. Love was just a word, plain and simple, there was no reason to make such a fuss about it, such sickly melodrama.

Seeing Naruto's sharp smile, the way his eyes crinkled at the corners, the way his friend behaved freely, Gaara could understand. That warm feeling that spread through his body, the butterflies in his stomach, that unbeatable force that made him reflect the smile aimed at him. What else could it be but love?

He knew Naruto was too radiant for someone like him, reclusive and antisocial. The other deserved someone better, someone who matched his contagious energy. He knew he was lucky to have him in his life, lucky that someone like the blond even looked in the direction of someone like him. Still, Gaara couldn't stop his selfish feelings, as overwhelming as Naruto Uzumaki's presence in his life.

He wanted that glow for himself, just a little longer, for as long as it could last. He would hold on to the moments they spent together and that would be enough when the other found someone else, it would have to be.

They arrived at dusk, at a terribly domestic pace that made Gaara's heart ache with his desire for it to mean something more. They went upstairs together and the redhead held the grocery bags while Naruto opened the door.

“We're home!” The blond shouted, throwing his shoes near the entrance and crouching in front of his friend, undoing his shoelaces so he could do the same. Gaara felt his pulse quicken as he looked at the blond hair from above, one hand resting on the wall to keep his balance.

“All right, you're home now, so come on in,” he said unceremoniously, taking the bags from the redhead's hands and heading toward the kitchen, where the light was on.

As he left his backpack on the couch, he could hear Kushina greeting her son. For a delirious second, he imagined that his mother would have loved Kushina Uzumaki, that they would be great friends if they had had the chance to meet. He lost his breath and quickly dismissed the thought from his head.

“Hello, Gaara,” Minato called from the hallway. He was dressed in an elegant suit, adjusting his tie.

“Minato.” He waved respectfully. “I hope I'm not disturbing you.”

“Nonsense.” The older man laughed, approaching and holding Gaara's shoulder in a friendly manner, in a way that his own father had never done. “You are always very welcome! Naruto loves your company, you know?”

His cheeks flushed involuntarily. “I love his too,” he murmured, staring at a fixed point on the wall. Minato just laughed at the younger man's embarrassment.

“I know very well, Naruto has his mother's irresistible charm.” Then Minato winked at Gaara, as if they were sympathizing with each other over a mutual feeling. The implication of this statement made Gaara stutter, not knowing how to say that he wasn't dating Naruto, not because he didn't want to, of course.

He didn't even have time to explain himself before Kushina stormed into the room. As much as Naruto was a physical copy of his father, his temperament was the same as his mother's. “Are you ready, Minato?” she asked, adjusting her heels. She was wearing a beautiful burgundy dress with a slit up the leg.

“You look wonderful, my love, as always,” Minato offered sincerely. Naruto pretended to vomit beside him, but Gaara knew it was just an act, the other loved to see his parents in love even after so many years together.

Kushina spun around, her earrings glistening in the light of the room. The men applauded together. It was then that she turned and saw the visitor, walking towards him with determined steps. “Gaara, dear, make yourself comfortable.” She took the redhead's face in her hands and kissed him on the cheek. “You're in charge, don't let Naruto get out of hand while we're away.”

“Hey!” The other complained, but the atmosphere was light, everyone was joking around in the same syntony. It was surreal for Gaara to have such a close relationship with his parents as Naruto did.

“We're going to an awards ceremony,” Kushina offered, seeing the curiosity in the sea-green eyes. “One of Minato's research projects has been nominated for a grant!”

Minato, Naruto's father, was a university professor and renowned researcher. Kushina was a retired athlete, a gold medalist in several sports. Both had stellar personalities, so it was clear that their son would be no less.

“That's great. Congratulations, Uncle Minato.” Gaara shook the older man's firm hand, feeling genuine pride in yet another achievement.

“Thank you, thank you. We'll be a while, so don't wait up for us,” he instructed, giving another wink that made Gaara's cheeks flush.

“Honey, did you get the keys?” Kushina asked, searching her purse.

“Right here.” Minato took the keys out of his pocket and jingled them, heading for the door.

“Perfect, let's go. Gaara, dear, you have to come over another day so we can have dinner together, okay?” Kushina planted a smacking kiss on Naruto's cheek, leaving a red lipstick mark in the process. Gaara began to suspect that he had the same mark.

“Sure thing, Aunt Kushina.” He agreed without batting an eye. Like Naruto, it was useless to argue when the redhead had an idea in her head.

“Have fun, kids!” And so began a series of goodbyes and “enjoy yourselves.” In a second, Naruto's parents were gone, leaving the two young people alone in the apartment. It wasn't the first time this had happened, nor would it be the last, but Gaara's heart insisted on skipping a beat.

They stared at each other for a moment, deciding who would make the first move. As always, Naruto took the initiative, taking control of the situation in a natural way.

“Let's have dinner!” he declared without further ado. “I'm starving!” Without waiting, he turned towards the kitchen, certain that Gaara would follow him. And so it was done, Gaara following Naruto like a loyal dog follows its owner to the ends of the earth.

“Are you going to cook your famous ramen?” He didn't know whether to sit or stand, unsure if Naruto would want his help with something. The truth was that Gaara wasn't very good in the kitchen, but he knew that the other was even worse.

“Exactly!” Naruto picked up the packages he had bought earlier, separating the utensils he was going to use. “You can sit down, you don't have to stand there like a scarecrow watching me! I promise I won't set the house on fire... Well, I'll try at least.”

The tension Gaara felt drained from his body, his shoulders relaxing and the sigh stuck in his throat finally giving way. He sat down as ordered and began one of his favorite activities: staring at Naruto existing.

It might sound a little strange, but the simple act of living was something that fascinated him. Naruto lived differently from everyone else Gaara knew. He was impossible to ignore, striking in all his movements. There was no way to look away, nothing else could interest him as much as his friend clumsily boiling noodles while chattering about his day.

Once again, Gaara felt his chest tighten. A chorus of “I want, I want, I want” echoed in his head. He wanted Naruto's attention, he wanted Naruto's company, he wanted the simplicity of a routine with Naruto, he wanted Naruto for himself. He opened and closed his fists, restraining the irrational urge to grab the blond right there and never let him go.

He helped set the table, placing the chopsticks and bowls. Naruto served him first and then poured a portion for himself. The smell was great, making Gaara's mouth water.

They thanked for the meal and began to eat. The broth was delicious, with the perfect blend of spices. The egg, cooked just right, mixed with the soft noodles.

“It's delicious,” Gaara declared between bites.

“Of course it is, it's my specialty!” Naruto agreed with his mouth full. “You know, they say that hot foods make you sleepy... Ramen is almost like soup, right... I usually eat it when I'm sick...” He spoke as soon as he thought, without filtering his words.

Gaara found it funny. “But you always eat ramen, Naruto.” He made a point of punctuating it, pointing his chopsticks at the other. “So would it be correlation or causation?”

The other just stared at him, confused, turning his head like a whimpering puppy. “I didn’t understand anything.”

“It's okay, you don't have to.” He shrugged and continued eating. “You eat a lot of ramen, that's all.”

“Ramen is the best food there is!” Gaara just agreed with a murmur. “Anyway, maybe it makes you sleepy.” He doubted it very much. “But if it doesn't, that's okay too, I made a list of things we can try!”

That made Gaara pause. He stared at the other with a raised eyebrow. “Is that what you were doing instead of paying attention in class? Don't come asking for my notes later.” He puffed, just to be charming. They both knew that as soon as Naruto aimed his pleading eyes at his target, Gaara would give in as usual.

“I'm doing you a favor!” He defended himself anyway, playing along.

“That I didn't even ask for, so it doesn't count.” He felt the childish urge to stick his tongue out at the other, but held back.

“Of course it counts, I'm still doing it! And you're going to do it too, until we find something that works!” He puffed out his chest proudly. He was fully confident that he would be able to do something that Gaara had been trying to do for years.

The redhead already knew that everything Naruto could have put on the list, he himself must have tried about twenty times before, without any success. Still, he was willing to go through the same trials once again if it would make Naruto happy that he was at least trying to solve his problem. He would do anything to continue enjoying his light.

For that reason, Gaara gave a resigned sigh and a small smile. “Okay, okay. Where do we start, then?”

“There are five things I want to try,” Naruto began. He chewed thoughtfully as Gaara stared at him, waiting for him to continue his reasoning. “I'm not going to tell you what they are or give you time to prepare. Who knows, maybe that way they'll be more effective?”

“Are you going to try to scare my body into shutting down automatically?” he asked good-humoredly.

“It's not that... Or maybe it is a little...” He waved his free hand in a gesture of more or less.

“As long as drugging me is the last option on the list...” He secretly hoped that Naruto would offer him a Zolpidem and solve his problem for one night in a simple and quick way. Of course, “simple” didn't suit the Uzumaki.

“That's the sixth secret option,” he whispered as if revealing a great secret. “But we won't even have to use it!”

Gaara couldn't dash the other's hopes right there, so he said nothing and just finished eating his ramen, wondering what the blond had planned.

X

They cleaned the kitchen and went to the living room, where Naruto placed cushions on the carpet and sat down on one, directing Gaara to sit on the other.

“The first thing we're going to try... meditation!” He said as if it were a great revelation. That was what everyone recommended doing when you couldn't fall asleep.

Instead of saying that, Gaara just asked, unable to contain his disbelief, “Are you going to meditate too?”

“Yes! It's not fair if you do it alone, I might end up distracting you.” He replied as if it were obvious. In retrospect, it should have been obvious. Naruto always did everything he could to help his friends, even something as impossible as staying still for five minutes straight.

“Okay, have you meditated before?” Accepting his fate, Gaara began to settle down, getting into a comfortable position.

“Uh... no. But it shouldn't be that hard, right?” The blond scratched his cheek, uncertain.

“It depends if you consider standing still in silence difficult.” He couldn't help but tease him affectionately. Naruto's electric manner was charming to Gaara, he wouldn't change it for anything in the world.

“I've done worse things.” The other muttered, trying to motivate himself. “Okay, so just close your eyes and think about nothing?”

“Aren't you supposed to be instructing me? It was your idea, after all.” He held back a laugh when the other pouted at him.

“Gaara, come on. You must know more about these things than I do!”

This time, he let his laughter flow naturally. “Yes, just close your eyes, take a deep breath and relax.” He gave in, as he always did when faced with the unstoppable force of storm-blue eyes.

“I read that playing calm music helps too.” Naruto grabbed his phone and opened YouTube. “I'll put on those forest sounds.”

Gaara let the other do as he pleased, sighing deeply and letting his eyes close. He began a rhythm he had already mastered — 5 seconds inhaling, 5 seconds holding his breath, 5 seconds exhaling, then repeat — losing himself to his stream of consciousness. The sounds of the forest were soothing, birds singing and a river flowing in harmony.

There was just one small problem: he was used to meditating alone. Not only that, but Naruto's presence was impossible to ignore, even with his eyes closed, he demanded Gaara's attention. He could feel him as if they were leaning against each other, a physical presence at his side. He paid more attention to the sound of his breathing, his movements to adjust his position, his ridiculous grunts.

“You don't have to make that noise, you know?” He couldn't help himself and opened his eyes. Naruto was in the most stereotypical meditation position, the kind you see on TV shows. Legs crossed, fingers together forming a circle, back straight and making a sound from the back of his throat like “om,” which mingled with the sounds of the forest.

“Doesn't it help you concentrate?” He broke out of that awkward position, opening his eyes.

“It's more distracting than anything else. If you want to concentrate, count your breaths. Like this.” And he began to demonstrate, guiding the other.

They were doing well until they heard the sounds of monkeys fighting, so loud that it broke both of their concentration in fright. Gaara jumped in place, widening his eyes and checking his surroundings. Naruto cursed under his breath and fumbled for his phone, pausing the video forcefully.

“Whose idea was it to put this on?” he muttered, typing something into the search bar.

“Yours.” The redhead smiled, calming down.

“And why did you let it happen? What a terrible idea.” He shook his head mockingly. “I'll put on some classical music, then. There's no way you won't fall asleep.”

Nodding, Gaara tried to get back into his previous rhythm. It took a while, but he managed it, his lungs filling and his muscles relaxing. He let the soft music flow, enveloping him with its melody.

Naruto lasted a surprising eight minutes before he couldn't take it anymore. He was getting more and more agitated, and because of that Gaara couldn't fully focus on his own meditation. There was no way to relax knowing that the other clearly wanted to be doing something else. Just for forcing himself to try for Gaara's sake he deserved a medal of honor.

“I don't think it's working,” he sighed, opening his eyes once more. He had told Naruto to relax, and the other seemed to take the instruction seriously. He was practically lying down, one leg stretched out and the other bent, arms supporting his head.

“Seriously!?” The blond was genuinely shocked that the first attempt hadn't worked right away. The expression on his face, with his mouth open and eyebrows raised, was comical.

Gaara shook his head, swinging his arms and moving his fingers to wake himself from the state of near meditation he had reached. "Yes, I can already see that we're not going to get anywhere with this. What's the next item on the list?"

“Ah... are you sure...?” He paused the music, which was slowly reaching its peak. It was clear that there was nothing Naruto wanted more than to change activities, but he was still willing to try a little longer if Gaara wanted to.

The wave of affection he felt for the other made him dizzy. "Yes, yes. What's the next crazy idea?"

Like a sunflower, Naruto blossomed, jumping up with an agile leap. His mind was already on his next attempt, placing his unshakeable trust in it. His motivation was admirable.

“Just a second, I'll be right back!” And with that, he headed for the hallway, leaving Gaara and his silly sentimentality waiting in the room.

X

“Aromatherapy?” Gaara repeated, trying to understand what was in front of him.

“Yes! I read that it helps you relax, so I remembered that my mom has these incense sticks!” He waved said incense sticks in front of Gaara for the second time. “So just put them on and smell the scent of...” He paused and checked the boxes he had in his hands. “Rosemary or cinnamon.”

Again, Gaara found himself not knowing where to begin his response. “Wouldn't lavender be best?”

The blond clicked his tongue in frustration. “I could have sworn we had some, but I think we used it last week because my cousin came to visit.”

Massaging his temples, Gaara sighed. “Naruto, aromatherapy is done with essential oils, not incense.”

“It's all the same, isn't it?” The worst part was that his tone was genuine. Gaara looked deep into Naruto's pool-like eyes and gave up on the argument. He had to choose his battles, and this was not something he was willing to prolong.

“Not exactly, but we can try anyway.” He agreed with a sigh.

“That's the spirit!” He received a pat on the back for his efforts. “Which one do you want?”

“Whatever.” The redhead replied distractedly. He was too focused on the warmth of Naruto's firm palm against his back.

“Hm... Cinnamon must be too strong, so let's go with rosemary.” He decided for himself and turned to grab the holder and matches.

In less than a minute, they had everything set up on the living room table, waiting to be put into action.

“You're going to burn yourself like that.” Gaara repeated for the umpteenth time.

“I'm not going to, I already told you,” Naruto snapped, already on his fifteenth unsuccessful matchstick. The redhead couldn't understand the difficulty in simply striking the match in the box, but his friend refused to let him try. It must have been a matter of ego.

He struck the sixteenth match and finally a flame lit up. Both exclaimed in surprise, but before they could celebrate, Naruto dropped the stick in shock.

“Now I've got the hang of it,” he muttered, his cheeks and earlobes pink. It looked good on him, Gaara noticed.

He lit the next one on the first try, letting out a cry of victory and finally bringing it to the incense. Immediately, a light smoke began to rise along with the soft scent of rosemary.

Gaara only had time to look in the blond's direction, as if a sixth sense led him to do so, just in time to see Naruto extinguish the fire with his fingers. “Ouch!”

Without even thinking, acting on pure instinct, Gaara took the burned fingers in his hand, analyzing the damage, his heart racing. He was being dramatic, he knew, but he couldn't contain his concern.

“I'm fine, I'm fine.” Naruto laughed awkwardly, his fingers moving involuntarily and intertwining with Gaara's, his face approaching the other's. “See? I told you I could light it!” And he showed his fangs in that wide smile, bigger than the world, that took the redhead's breath away.

“Yes, yes.” That was all he could manage to say, panting. It seemed like he had run a marathon.

“Now I think we should try to relax while we smell it... Maybe meditate again...?” Even though he was the one who suggested the idea, Naruto made an exaggerated grimace. Gaara felt a tightness in his chest, increasing the strength with which he held the blond's hand.

“Maybe.” He replied in a whisper, the air coming out of his throat all at once. He shook his head to emphasize, but he must have pushed too hard because he started to feel dizzy. He didn't know if he could smell Naruto more — sweat, miso, and lemon — or the rosemary.

The two sat side by side on the couch, breathing deeply. It seemed that Gaara couldn't fill his lungs properly, he wasn't sure why. He was nervous around his friend sometimes because of his attraction, but it had never affected him so strongly.

Then he started coughing, first a single cough or two, which triggered a fit. Naruto patted him on the back, but it didn't help; it seemed like he was drowning with air.

“Gaara? Hey, Gaara, what's wrong? Are you choking?” There was a frantic rhythm to the other's questions, which only increased as the coughing worsened. “I'll open the window, okay? Come get some air.”

Naruto pulled Gaara by the hand, guiding him to the living room window. He opened it wide, letting a cold draft hit them square in the face. It was just what Gaara needed, he felt he could breathe better already.

“Hey, how's it going? Want some water?” Naruto shifted his weight from foot to foot, anxious. His eyes were huge with concern, giving him a puppy-dog look that Gaara found charming.

“Put it out.” He just whispered and pointed his index finger at the incense as if it had personally offended him.

The gears in Naruto's head turned slowly, he looked at Gaara, at the incense, at Gaara again, and then jumped up in realization. “Ah! Okay, I get it!”

He stumbled over his feet, almost hitting the floor in his rush to dispel the smell that had infested the room. Gaara laughed, causing him to cough more, which in turn encouraged Naruto.

Instead of throwing the incense in the trash like a normal human being, Naruto ran to the window and threw it from the fourth floor. They both watched the harmless stick fall silently.

“I didn't know you were allergic to rosemary...” Naruto couldn't look him directly in the eye, rubbing his hand through his hair to try to calm himself down from the scare.

“Neither did I.” Gaara shrugged, easily accepting the new fact. This made the blond turn around in disbelief and, as soon as their eyes met, they both burst out laughing at the ridiculous situation.

“What are the odds!?” The blond asked, resting his arm on his friend's shoulder. “You almost gave me a heart attack, Gaara. Your face was as red as your hair!”

“I was the one who almost died,” he replied good-humoredly, feeling his face still hot. It was a frequent occurrence when he was with Naruto.

“That's in the past.” Naruto began, pulling Gaara toward the kitchen.

“It wasn't even five minutes ago.”

“That's in the past! Let's move on to the next attempt.” He didn't let his spirits be dampened. What was a near-manslaughter compared to the glorious mission of getting Gaara to fall asleep?

If he had suffocated, he would have fallen asleep permanently, Gaara thought. He knew his friend didn't like his self-deprecating humor, so he laughed internally at the joke and kept quiet, letting Naruto drag him to the next stage of his plan.

X

“Sit there, I'll be right back.” Those were the words spoken almost 15 minutes ago.

Gaara was following the instructions to the letter, sitting like a marble statue, quiet and motionless. He didn't know what the other might be up to, he was just preparing himself for whatever unpredictable thing Naruto would throw at him. Metaphorically speaking. Probably.

“I'm back!” Naruto announced, his wet hair and pajamas making it clear what he had been doing. “Did I take too long?”

He wanted to say that every second away from him was agonizing and seemed to take years off his life expectancy. Instead, Gaara just shook his head.

“Then let's start the next attempt... Calming tea!” He walked around the chair Gaara was sitting in, heading towards the kitchen cabinets.

“I usually drink tea, but it doesn't change much.” He pointed it out just for the sake of pointing it out, knowing it wouldn't stop the blond.

“But it's not the special tea my dad makes!” He stood on his tiptoes to reach the back of the top cabinet. “It's a mixture of leaves... It has chamomile, passion fruit, and lemon balm.”

He waved the bag in front of Gaara, the aroma of passion fruit wafting through his nose. It smelled good, he had to admit. “We can try it.”

“And we will! I'll make it and we'll drink it while we eat the cake for dessert.” He said as he picked up the teapot, the sound of pans clanging together drowning out his words. Naruto put the water to boil and set two small plates and mugs on the table, the cake between them. “You're not allergic to any of this, are you?”

“As far as I know, no. But I also thought I wasn’t to rosemary...” Seeing the doubt on his friend's face, he decided to stop teasing him. “I've had these teas separately and never had any reaction.”

Naruto's shoulders slumped forward with relief. “Very funny,” he muttered, but he couldn't hide the smile on his face and the affection in his words.

Gaara noticed the mugs in front of him. Both were ceramic and clumsy, with poorly finished paint and slightly deformed edges. They were full of personality, with hand-drawn spirals and foxes. They had a unique charm.

“Oh, my parents made these mugs,” Naruto commented when he saw his friend's interest, stepping away from the stove and picking up the other piece of the set. “They went on a date at a pottery class... Seriously, how nerdy. It had to have been my dad's idea.”

For a second, Gaara allowed himself to daydream about what it would be like to go on a date like that with Naruto, to capture the moment in pottery, to have a memory that would last for years, to the point where his son would tell the story.

It was a nice fantasy. The cup in his hand seemed well-loved, even if it wasn't perfect. Gaara identified irrationally with the piece of pottery. It must have been sleep making him delirious, it was the only explanation.

“It must have been nice,” he commented hoarsely, an unfamiliar emotion stuck on the tip of his tongue.

Naruto hummed, thinking about it, turning his cup upside down. “I think so, they liked it. My mom usually enjoys more lively activities, but she came back happy that day.”

“I think it doesn't matter what the activity is, if you're with the right company.” Gaara spoke without filtering his thoughts. He no longer looked at the cups, not with such an interesting sight in front of him. Naruto, with wet hair, his open collar revealing parts of his collarbone, his eyes half-closed as he thought.

The blond's tongue quickly wet his lips. Gaara followed the movement as if he were a starving man seeing a five-star meal in front of him. He felt his own mouth go dry.

“Yeah, you're right.” Naruto looked at him from under his light eyelashes, his eyes seeming darker than usual. Gaara leaned in, drawn like a moth to a flame, unafraid of getting burned in the process.

There was a peculiar tension between them, the very air was charged with it. He couldn't name it, but it made his blood run faster through his veins. He was a rabbit caught in the fox's gaze and didn't care if he would be attacked.

He opened his mouth to say something that even he didn't know what it would be. Something stupid, probably. He felt like his brain had shut down and all he could think about was Naruto, Naruto, Naruto.

However, it was when he opened his mouth that he smelled the strong aroma. He paused, waking up from his trance, bringing himself back to reality. “What's that burning smell?”

Naruto jumped up, slamming the cup down on the table and turning so quickly that he almost spun around completely. “The tea!”

Somehow, Naruto Uzumaki had managed to burn the tea leaves. It was so fascinating that Gaara was simply impressed by the feat. They melted, looking like a shapeless goo.

They both looked at the mug, the bottom of which was also burned. “Would you dare to try it?”

Gaara considered it for a second. If Naruto asked him to, he might take a sip just to please him, but he refused to let him drink it too, and he knew that the blond wouldn't abandon him in this terrible experiment. “No. Let's have something else.”

In the end, they drank apple juice while eating the cake, which was delicious. As he chewed, Naruto seemed thoughtful. Gaara imagined that the constant and disastrous failures were beginning to affect him. He couldn't bear to be the reason for his friend's sudden melancholy.

“You know, I think all these activities are starting to make me a little sleepy.” He lied, reinforcing it with an exaggerated yawn. “Even if it's not exactly the way you planned.”

This cheered the other up, who woke up from his reverie, the agitation returning to his body as if he had been plugged into an electrical outlet. He tapped his foot on the chair and waved his hands as he spoke. “Really!? I knew it would work! But I haven't finished everything on the list yet, you know.” At that, he became more thoughtful again. “I have the impression that I'm forgetting something.”

“What's next on the list?” Gaara asked, relieved to find that Naruto was just trying to navigate the maze of his thoughts and wasn’t upset with him.

“Hm...” He chewed with his eyes closed, concentrating so hard that Gaara could see smoke coming out of his skull. “Ah, right!” The blond snapped his fingers. “Shit!” he suddenly shouted and jumped out of his chair.

Something peculiar happened then: instead of the expected sound of socks hitting the floor, they heard the sound of splashing water. Alarmed, Gaara looked at the floor, not knowing what to expect.

The kitchen was flooded, the water coming from the direction of the hallway.

X

“I see...”

Gaara and Naruto were in the bathroom, turning off the tap on the overflowing bathtub and unclogging the drain. The next step would ideally be a relaxing hot bath, complete with bubbles and everything.

The thing was: Naruto had forgotten to turn off the tap when he went back to the kitchen. No matter how deep the bathtub was, it would eventually reach its limit and overflow.

That's how the two found themselves in that situation, their socks and Gaara's pant legs soaked with warm, floral water.

“My mom is going to kill me if I ruined the floor,” lamented the blond, hiding his face with his hands.

“Let's clean everything up quickly.” Gaara tried to comfort him. He took the other's hands in his, wanting to see his flushed cheeks and teary eyes. “The floor will be sparkling, your mother will even ask if our plan was to do a surprise cleaning.”

This earned him a choked laugh from the other. “I wanted to surprise you.” His lips trembled and he sniffed once. “I wanted to be able to help you, but instead I just ruin everything.” He swallowed hard, looking away.

“Oh, Naruto.” Gaara's voice clearly conveyed his affection, the name coming out in a sigh, as if the redhead delighted in saying it. In a mixture of courage and affection, Gaara brought a hand to the other's face, gently wiping the tears stuck to his light eyelashes with his thumb. “You didn't ruin anything. I'm having fun, you know?”

“Even with all the plans going wrong?” The blond whispered, uncertain and vulnerable. Gaara wanted to take away all his sadness, someone as radiant as Naruto shouldn't suffer, let alone for someone like him.

Pressing their foreheads together, their noses almost touching, Gaara sighed. “It doesn't matter, as long as I'm making them with you.”

Naruto sobbed and changed his position, laying his face on Gaara's neck and wrapping his arms around the redhead's waist, pulling him close. The other's embrace was warm, like hugging the sun itself. Gaara ran his hands through his blond hair, soft after his shower, and caressed it, smelling the citrus scent of his shampoo.

They stayed like that for a minute or a lifetime, he couldn't tell the difference. Their hearts beat in unison, pressed against each other. Gaara held a precious treasure against him. He could only think of one thing at the moment, the two of them with wet feet and a residual taste of chocolate in their mouths: I love you, I love you, I love you.

Eventually, they separated. He missed the other's touch as soon as he lost it. Gaara was greedy, when he tasted something he liked, he wanted to have it forever, dig his nails in and leave his mark.

“Thank you, Gaara.” Naruto stared at him intensely. That unusual tension had returned, enveloping them like the mist caused by the hot water. It seemed like the blond was about to say something, Gaara's mouth went dry and his heart skipped a beat. “I...” He hesitated, changing course. “I'll get the towels for us to dry the floor...”

“Okay.” He couldn't say anything else, it felt like his throat was stuck. Gaara wanted, wanted, and wanted. He wanted to take the other in his arms, he wanted to kiss his tears one by one, he wanted to never let him go. He stood still, surrendered, immobile by his own dizzying desire.

“I'll be right back,” Naruto muttered, squeezing his friend's arm as he passed by him and disappeared down the hallway.

Alone in the bathroom, Gaara squeezed his eyes shut tightly and dug his nails into his palms. He had to control himself, he knew Naruto deserved better.

But for a brief moment, it seemed like he felt the same way. For one delirious second, Gaara swore that Naruto would confess his feelings right there, in the middle of the disaster scene they found themselves in. Just thinking about the possibility made his chest tighten and his legs weaken, threatening to give way under the weight of his surreal expectations.

They cleaned up the mess together, talking as if nothing had happened. They scrubbed the floor until their arms ached from the effort, making sure nothing was damaged. Fortunately, the water hadn't risen very high, so it hadn't reached any electrical outlets or anything like that.

When they were done, Naruto threw the used rags in the washing machine. Gaara was dripping with sweat, the manual labor tiring him more efficiently than anything else they had tried during the day.

“I think I'll take the shower,” Gaara joked. His clothes were stuck to his body, bothering him.

“You'd better.” Naruto laughed, his mood returning to normal. “I'll leave some clothes in my room, you can change there.”

He agreed. He had been to Naruto's room before, of course, so he wouldn't feel like an intruder, as if his mere existence in the other's private space was an anomaly. “And what's next?”

This surprised the blond, who paused in his tracks. “What do you mean?”

“In your plan to cure insomnia. There were five steps, right? The last one is missing.” He made the number with his hand, counting on his fingers.

“Oh, that...” Naruto was embarrassed, scratching the back of his neck. “I thought you wouldn't want to try anything else after everything that happened.”

“Well, since we started, we should see it through to the end,” said the redhead, practical and direct. “It's worth trying one more thing, just to be sure.”

“Okay.” First came a stunned response, as if he were processing what had been said. Then a more enthusiastic “okay!” and a hearty laugh, a smile spreading from ear to ear. “I'll get things ready then. I'll wait for you in the living room!” Naruto practically skipped the rest of the way, pleased that they would continue with their plan.

Even though he doubted that this last step would be more effective than the previous ones, Gaara wanted to try, for Naruto's sake. Seeing him so focused and determined in his project was more than enough reward for the redhead.

He took a scalding hot shower, the hot water leaving his skin red. He wanted to scrub the impurities off himself with the loofah, to clean himself from the inside out. He used the same citrus shampoo that Naruto always used, longing for the domesticity that would make this a routine, not a noteworthy event.

He brushed his teeth with the spare toothbrush, noticing how his and Naruto's toothbrushes stood together in the cup. If they lived together, it would always be like this, everyday details that would go unnoticed, but at the moment, Gaara wanted it more than anything.

He closed Naruto's bedroom door behind him. It was a mess, as usual, with things scattered on the table and floor, from clothes to various papers. There were some action figures and manga on a shelf, college materials scattered on the bookcase, board games sticking out from under the bed.

Gaara picked up the pajamas he had been lent, the only thing on the bed besides the crumpled sheets. The fabric was soft and well-worn, gray with a pattern of shurikens and kunais. Instinctively, he brought the shirt to his nose, smelling Naruto's distinctive scent that permeated the clothing.

He was wearing Naruto's pajamas, his hair smelled like Naruto's, standing in the middle of Naruto's room, thinking about Naruto. Gaara felt as if he belonged to Naruto, body and soul. That, more than anything else that day, relaxed him completely. He knew Naruto wasn't his, but Gaara could be Naruto's.

It was as if a piece had fallen into place in his head. He didn't have to be ashamed of his feelings or treat them as a burden. Even if it wasn't mutual, Gaara would be at peace in his certainty of belonging. He was part of Naruto's life, irrevocably. Whether reciprocated or not, the blond cared about him and wanted him to be well.

It felt good to be cherished. Naruto made a point of showing that he cared for him with his disastrous attempts to help him and Gaara appreciated them more than he could put into words. He felt his blood tingle, a warmth spreading through his chest as if he had swallowed a star.

It seemed as if his world had been tilted to the side by this revelation, but life went on as normal. He got dressed, not wanting to keep his friend waiting any longer, eager to see him in a new light.

As if being called, his eyes turned to a picture leaning on the bedside table, amid other assorted messes. It had a simple frame and an aged appearance.

A chubby-cheeked, blond boy with a toothless smile posed for the camera, his eyes closed with the force of his happiness. He must have been around 6 years old, no more than that. He was an adorable child, worthy of flattery from all the elderly women in the neighborhood.

Next to him, almost disappearing from the frame of the photo, was another boy of the same age, with hair and eyes as dark as night. He was pouting with his cheeks puffed out, trying to show his indignation at something. He must have been someone important to Naruto, since he kept this memory so close to him.

“Gaara, are you okay?” Naruto suddenly opened the door, peeking into his own room.

Gaara felt like a child caught doing something he shouldn't be doing, seeing something he shouldn't see. He couldn't quite explain why, but looking at that photo felt like an invasion of Naruto's privacy — even though it was exposed for anyone to see — as if it were something intimate that Gaara had no right to look into, at least not yet.

Naruto was an open book, but there were some aspects of his life that remained shrouded in mystery. Gaara wanted to read him like one, to find out from start to finish what made such a special person tick. He wished he had met him earlier and grown up alongside him. Better yet, he wanted the blond to willingly tell him everything about himself, even the most trivial details.

“I just got changed,” he replied naturally, not letting any expression show on his face. He was feeling a mixture of emotions too complex for his tired mind. He just wanted to curl up next to Naruto and forget all of his problems for a few hours.

“Come on, let's get to the last step of the plan!” Naruto called out, already turning around. “This one can't go wrong!”

Taking one last glance at the picture of the mysterious boy, Gaara followed Naruto down the hall, staring at the back of a man larger than life.

X

“Nothing better than ending Friday with a movie session.” Naruto threw himself on the sofa, which was decorated with cushions, pillows, and blankets. He slapped his palm on the seat next to him, inviting Gaara.

The furniture wasn't very big, leaving little space between them. Wrapped up in a sea of blankets, it was impossible not to stay close to each other.

“Snuggle up, I'm going to put on the most boring documentary in the world!” the blond declared. He was stretched out on the pillows, watching the Netflix screen with his eyes half-closed. The dim light didn't help the situation.

“Is your plan to bore me until I fall asleep?” Gaara found the simplicity of the Grand Finale amusing.

“Yeah, something like that.” Naruto agreed, finally finding a documentary that satisfied him in terms of boredom. “Who watches stuff about physics in their free time? You have to be crazy.”

The film began with a monotonous voice, slow images and full of technical terms, just what Naruto wanted. He adjusted himself, lying down more comfortably.

Unlike Gaara, who felt crushed but didn't want to bother the other. Wherever he tried to move, he would have to lean on the blond. He spent the first few minutes like this, with his back straight and his legs tingling. The documentary was surprisingly interesting, holding his attention, but he couldn't concentrate completely on it.

“You'll never fall asleep if you stay in that position,” Naruto commented, nudging him with his foot. “Lie down too, I promise it works.”

“You'll end up falling asleep before me like that,” he pointed out. He couldn't see him with only the light from the television, but he knew the other must be staring back at him.

“Of course not, I have to be awake so I can celebrate when my plan works,” hummed the blond. “Come here, I know just what to do to get you to sleep quickly.”

Fumbling for the pillows, Gaara approached the other, who pulled him close as soon as he was within reach. Gaara fell with his head on Naruto's shoulder, their legs intertwining. They were sharing the same air with how close they were.

“That's it.” Even though he was whispering, Gaara could feel the vibrations reverberating in Naruto's chest as he spoke.

He was tense, receiving an overdose of sensations. Smell, touch, heat, sounds, everything around him was Naruto. And then the blond delivered the final blow: he put his hand on the redhead's hair and began to absentmindedly ruffle it.

Feeling the short nails massage his head, Gaara melted completely, sighing contentedly. He decided to allow himself to receive the affection and enjoy it to the fullest. After all, he didn't know when he would have the opportunity again, nor if he would.

He buried his head in Naruto's neck, feeling his pulse against his cheek, and turned to the television. He felt completely content. His head was quiet, with none of the usual nagging worries tormenting him. He was exactly where he wanted to be.

It wasn't like an explosion of fireworks or a big revelation. It was more like the calm after a storm. Gaara had been so preoccupied with trying to hide his feelings that he had almost forgotten to experience them. Fortunately, Naruto was by his side to remind him of that.

“Better?” whispered the blond, his smile shining through his words.

“Much better.” Gaara practically purred, completely surrendered.

Naruto gave a soft, tender, sleepy laugh. “Good night, Gaara.” He pressed his mouth against the redhead's forehead for a second, so gently that the other almost didn't notice. Almost.

“Good night.” Gaara's smile pressed against Naruto's neck, making him shiver with a breath of air. Just when he thought it wouldn't be possible to grow any fonder of his friend, Naruto did something that cleared his mind of anything other than a repetition of “I love you”s.

He never said those words out loud, but he felt they were stamped on his face, clear as day for anyone to see. He felt he didn't need to say them, at least not so soon, after all, the pace they had established was enough. Naruto would be patient and wait until Gaara was ready.

After a few minutes of silence, the hand resting on his red hair slid down to Gaara's shoulders. He could feel Naruto's breathing stabilizing and heard soft snores coming from his parted lips. He smiled to himself, filled with devotion for the man he loved.

He hadn't confessed, but he felt more secure with his own feelings and, in a way, with Naruto's feelings towards him.

It was as if that night had opened his eyes and he could see what was right in front of him clearly. He was as important and valuable to Naruto as the blond was to him. It was an incomprehensible and certain fact, the purest truth. He couldn't control his smile.

He loved and was loved. He wasn't alone, because he shared both his suffering and his happiness with Naruto. That's what the blond had taught him and he would carry that with him for the rest of his life. He found peace in the silent promise of unconditional companionship, something that existed only between the two of them and no one else.

He felt his eyelids grow heavy, the words coming from the television became distorted, his breathing calmed down. Gaara was falling asleep after what seemed like days of staying awake.

He snuggled up, closing his eyes and letting himself drift off into unconsciousness, safe in the arms of his beloved and with his feelings.

In the end, Naruto's plan had worked, and Gaara felt welcomed. They were lucky to have each other in their lives.

They slept peacefully, made of the same stuff as their dreams.