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Are you ever felt like you don't belong here?
Like you are from different planet, like some alien who came to explore earth and understood that people aren't some kind little animals that you were taught in alien school. But you can't leave anymore because you choose this place and now this is supposedly your new home.
Yeah, that what Jongho felt every day after presenting as "beta". Even thought he would say that he felt like that as long he can remember.