Work Text:
It was a cold, rainy day in Evergreen. You sat cross-legged on your best friend’s, Adrian Chase or Vigliante’s, old futon next to his computer idly going through your phone. Rain pattered against the side of his mother’s home, the soft noises of the rainfall only broken up by the sound of Adrian playing Runescape next to you on his computer.
Never in a million years would you have thought of becoming friends with the busboy at Fennel Fields. The other servers told you over and over again to not make eye contact with the man, claiming how extremely weird and off-putting he was. But, it was the crazy busboy who saved your ass one night after your closing shift.
Three months ago it was a rainy day like today. You were walking to your car after a successful Saturday night shift as the manager finished their closing duties. The night was dark, illuminated only by the sparse lights of the parking lot when a man jumped out holding a knife, demanding that you hand over your money to him. Before you could even reach into your server apron that’s when Adrian intervened, taking out the large mugger with just a few simple moves. Since then you two have become good friends. His weirdness, although a bit off-putting at first, was actually not that bad and was tolerable. Sometimes his quirky behaviors encouraged you to be weird with him.
“Hey, hey,” Adrian talking and pushing your knee to get your attention caused you to look up at him. “Wanna quiz me on snake facts?”
You rolled your eyes, but immediately opened up Google to search ‘snake facts’. Adrian always hyperfixated onto one animal randomly, wanting his friends to quiz him on what he knew. Owls, manta rays, spiders. At one point you thought Emilia Harcort was going to strangle him at a dinner get-together you all had on the roof of her apartment building when he kept getting facts about hamsters wrong. “Yeah, I’ll quiz you Adrian.” You sigh out, opening the first article that read ‘ten awesome facts about snakes’ as he continued to play Runescape.
Per usual, each fact you asked Adrian he got wrong. Are all snakes carnivorous? “No, some of them are vegan.” Wrong. What do snakes smell with? “Their noses, duh.” Wrong. How many snake species are there? “At least three.” Technically correct, but still wrong.
Reading the next question your eyebrow raised up. This would be an interesting one. “How many penises do male snakes have?” You question, looking at him and anticipating a dumb answer.
Adrian glanced out of the corner of his eye at you, with an expression that read ‘really?’ “One, just like every other animal.”
“Two,” you correct him. “Male snakes have two penises called hemipenes.”
“Two!?” He turns to look at you, surprise and disbelief written on his face.
You turn your phone to him, showing him the snake fact saying that male snakes definitely have two penises. “See?”
He squints at your phone, leaning away from his computer to read the article. “Damn, I wish I had two penises. That’d make my fantasies about you jerking me off-”
“Woah! Woah woah woah, time out!” You cut him off, taking your phone away from his face with a look of confusion and shock on your face. “Fantasies about me jerking you off?!” Your friendship with Adrian was an open book. Times before you had discussed your kinks with him and previous sexual encounters. But not once had he ever admitted to getting off to the thought of you.
“Yeah? I even made nudes of you on my computer,” He shrugs while talking casually, like jerking off to the thought of your friend and making nudes of her was a normal occurrence between friends. “Want to see?”
“First off, what the fuck. Second off, yes.” You reply back to him. Adrian was a freak, and admittedly you were too. Never had you sent nudes to Adrian, nor did you ever post them to the internet. You couldn’t even recall the last time you even took a nude photo. So naturally you were curious on how the fuck he made nude photos of you.
Quickly Adrian logged off of Runescape, navigating to one of his eighty million folders on his computer. It was a series of clicks, a tunnel of folders within folders that he had hidden these ‘nudes’ in. Eventually he came to a file that had your name on it, clicking it. Before you knew it a ‘nude’ image of you popped up on his computer screen. Looking at it you bust out into laughter. He had edited your head off of a photo he had, pasting it on top of a crudely drawn naked woman’s body in Microsoft Paint. Part of you was thankful he didn’t use AI to edit your clothes off of you, but on the other hand this was too funny to not tease him about. “Oh my God, Adrian! Out of all the porn you have on this goddamn computer and you jerk off to this!?”
His eyes widen at your laughter, embarrassment crossing his features. “Yes!? Why are you laughing!?”
Wiping a tear away from your face you couldn’t help but to continue to tease him. “You’re a fucking freak, Adrian.”
“Says the woman who wants to fuck monsters!” Adrian retorts back, his chair swiveling to totally face you on the futon.
“God!” You say, raising your hands in the air exasperated. “I say ‘I’d let Illidan Stormage from World of Warcraft fuck me into a coma’ one time and I’m a monster fucker!?” Your hands come down, pointing at yourself as you emphasize the ‘I’m’.
“Illidan is just the tip of the iceberg from what you’ve told me, you monster fucker!” Adrian points an accusatory finger at you.
“Shut the fuck up Adrian! Or else your mom will knock on the door again asking if we’re okay and if we need a condom!” You hiss at him.
“Monster fucker! Monster fucker!” He chants, repeatedly pointing his finger at you with each chant of ‘monster fucker’ as he gets up out of his computer chair.
“Shut! Up!” You stand up with him, clamping your hand over his mouth to get him to finally shut up. “Jesus fucking Christ…”
Within a few seconds of your hand being over his mouth his tongue darts out, licking the palm of your hand. Immediately you retract it off his face, wiping his saliva on your pants. “Eww-uh! You’re gross Adrian!”
“Oh, you liked it you kinky bitch and you know it.” He sneers, crossing his arms as he looks at you. There’s a flicker of something in his eyes, but you can’t tell what it was exactly. You’ve had petty arguments like this before, which usually turns back into a normal conversation. But the flicker was something you had never seen in his expression before.
But, Adrian was right. You did kind of like the licking, but it was in the wrong spot. A subtle pink blush forms on your cheeks. “And what if I did, motherfucker? What are you going to do about it?”
Adrian doesn’t respond to you, simply choosing to stare at you through the rims of his glasses. You fake lunge at him, a pathetic attempt to get him to flinch and stand down. But, of course, he doesn’t flinch. He’s been shot, had his balls electrocuted, almost had his pinky toe cut off, and all sorts of crazy shit has happened to him in the past. It would take more than just a simple fake out to get him to flinch.
With a swift motion Adrian takes you into his arms, wrestling you into the futon. “Adrian! Adrian you cocksucking twat let go!” You bark at him, trying to wrestle away. In the past you two had ‘fought ’– well, you two wrestled playfully and he’d let you win almost all of the time– but there was an edge to this one. It was purposeful, no hint of play behind his actions. He quickly pinned you to the futon, his more muscular body between your legs as you laid on your back in the shitty cushions. His hands kept yours from hitting him as his tongue darted out to lick your neck. “Adrian…” You mutter out, your eyes fluttering in pleasure.
“So, do you like getting licked, yes or no?” He asked, his voice gruff with sexual tension and frustration.
“I’m not going to answer that quest- ahh…” You're cut off by your own moan as Adrian licks the crook of your neck, a wave of pleasure shooting straight to your core.
“So, yes.” He mutters into your skin, his tongue darting out to lick sensually at the crook of your neck again. Another moan falls from your lips as he licks at the sensitive skin, his right hand freeing up to cup and rub your sex through your pants.
“Adrian,” You mumble out, your mind going hazy with pleasure as he continues to indulge in your licking kink, rubbing your pussy in tandem with each lap of his tongue. “You should stop…” Honestly you didn’t want him to stop. It had been a while since you had been laid, and your vibrator stopped working a few weeks ago. It was more of the fact that his mother was upstairs and would offer a condom if the noise got above a certain level than it was you not wanting him. You two had sexual tension brewing for a minute now, and that was obvious when Adrian admitted he had been jerking off to crudely drawn nude images of you.
“Sorry, babycakes,” His hand slips into the waistband of your pants, down to your wet pussy. His fingers dip into the wetness, causing you to gasp. “The fuck train has no brakes.”
A giggle comes from your mouth. “What the fuck does that me-HEAN?” Without warning Adrian plunges two of his fingers inside you, causing your back to arch up off the futon in pleasure. At least you were wet enough from his licking for him to immediately stick his fingers into you with no warning, the fucking bastard.
Immediately he sets a punishing pace, fingering you like a man possessed. “Do you know how many times I’ve jerked off to you?!” He grits through his teeth, his demeanor shifting into a dominant one. With a moan you shake your head no. “I went through a whole. Fucking. Bottle. Of lube since you started at Fennel Fields,” His words are punctuated with particularly rough thrusts of his fingers, the squelching lewdness getting louder. “And then you had to be a cunt and make fun of my delightful nudes I made of you.”
“I-I’m sorry, Adrian.” You lie between heavy pants and moans, your eyes rolling back to your head as you rapidly approach your climax. That ‘nude’ was absolute dogshit, and regardless of who drew it or the situation it would have made you laugh. If he had simply asked you for some pictures of your tits you would have gladly sent them to him, but instead he had to settle for hand-drawn tits.
Adrian must have noticed you were getting close by the way your eyes rolled back. Immediately he withdrew his fingers from your cunt, and his hand entirely from your pants. “Nuh-uh. Bitches who make fun of my artistic nudes of them don’t get to orgasm.”
“Fuck!” You yell out, throwing your head back in frustration as you catch your breath. That fucker, denying your orgasm like that. You bring your head back to look at him in his eyes. “Adrian, I’m sorry I made fun of your nudes of me. Can I please have an orgasm?” It wasn’t a sincere apology, at the end of the day his drawing was garbage, but knowing Adrian it would work.
He smiles wide, moving to take off your pants and underwear. “Apology accepted!” He cheerfully says, tossing your clothing onto one of his massive palettes of cocaine near the futon. His hand finds your pussy again, his fingers dipping into your dripping mess of a cunt. His fingering isn’t as rough as before, but it’s still just as pleasurable. Leaning over he captures your lips in a kiss, swallowing your moans as you get closer and closer to your orgasm.
Your back arches off the bed as you scream into his mouth, your body convulsing with pleasure as Adrian fingers you to orgasm. Adrian slows down his fingering, letting you ride out your orgasm with gentle ministrations. God, it’s been a while since you’ve had another person touch you that you almost forgot what it was like to have another human being give you an orgasm.
Withdrawing his fingers, Adrian breaks your kiss to bring his fingers up to his mouth, sucking your release off of his digits. With an exaggerated moan he sits up off of you, moving to take off his clothes.
Your mind is in a state of bliss, your eyes glazed over with pleasure, and before you know it Adrian is completely naked and trying to take your shirt off. A weak chuckle comes from your lips, knowing full well he wanted to see the real thing rather than his Microsoft Paint artwork. Your shirt comes off, then your bra, tossed onto the pile of clothes on the millions of dollars worth of cocaine bricks.
“Shit,” Adrian exclaims, his eyes staring wide at your breasts before he settles between your legs on the couch again. “So much better than my depiction.”
He wraps his hand around his cock, guiding it to your entrance. He looks at you through his glasses as he coats his dick with your release from earlier. “By the way, four inches is completely normal and capable of pleasing women.”
Your mouth opens up to tease him, but the words ‘you’re a shrimp dick fuck’ doesn’t escape your lips as he slides in with ease. Four inches was plenty for you, but you could never pass up an opportunity to tease the asshole.
Just like earlier when he was fingering you he immediately sets a rough pace, his hands reaching up to your neck. He applies pressure to it, cutting it off just enough to make your head dizzy with pleasure. A strangled moan comes from your lips. “Yeah, moan for me you whore. You’re going to be nothing but my cum dumpster, a fun sex toy for me, huh?”
You’ve heard men say ‘don’t stick your dick in crazy’ before, but crazy was currently sticking their dick in you. And God, was it hot as fuck. Weakly you nod, and Adrian flashes a crazy grin at you. “Of course you would say yes, you fucking slut. You like this, just like you enjoy being licked and being a monster fucker.”
The basement was a symphony of mutual lust, the lewd sounds of your wetness and skin slapping against skin mixing with the rain that continued to pour outside. You couldn’t moan too much with Adrian choking you, but the few noises you made drove him crazy. “Keep trying to sing, fucking skank. I wish I had two penises like a snake so I could be fucking your asshole at the same time too.”
Him degrading you was turning you on more than you cared to admit. You were getting closer with each thrust, his average-sized cock pistoning in and out of you like a man on a mission. His eyes lit up again as he could feel your walls fluttering around him. “Are my dirty words and choking turning you on? Gonna cum? Come on, cum on my massive, gigantic cock you teasing cunt.” He frees a hand up, moving it to rub your clit to get you closer.
Within moments of his hand touching your clit your orgasm crashes over you again like a tidal wave, your back arching off the futon as you convulse with pleasure. Your orgasm pushes him over the edge as well. Immediately he withdraws his cock from your cunt, giving it a few heavy strokes. With an elongated growl of pleasure, a smile crosses his face as he begins to cum– hot, thick, sticky ropes paint your tits and stomach white. He squeezes the last few drops out onto your stomach, feeling like he was on cloud nine.
As the post-nut clarity hits him he looks down at you, feeling guilty for being rough as the red marks start to form around your neck. “Shit. Shit! I was too rough again. Fuck! I-I’m sorry.” He stammers out, his brain immediately going into panic mode as he runs a hand through his hair.
“Adrian, Adrian! Calm down, I’m fine,” You reassure him, trying to douse the fire that’s sparking in his brain. “Just clean me up, cuddle me, tell me I did a good job. You know, aftercare stuff.”
“Aftercare! Right!” He slaps himself in the forehead, getting up off the futon to grab some old clothes he needed to get his mom to wash. “Why didn’t I think of that?”
Just as you suggested he wipes the cum off your chest and torso, tossing the shirt off to the side of his computer. He crawls next to you, immediately bringing you into his arms. “I-I really needed that. Thanks. You did good.”
You smile at his words, snuggling closer to his body. “I needed it too, Adrian. Don’t worry.”
As Adrian cuddles you, pressing kisses into your hair and muttering words of praise, a kind womanly voice is heard behind the heavily locked door to his basement room. “Adrian? I heard a lot of noise down here. Are you sure you two don’t need a condom?”
“GOD, MOTHER! NO I DO NOT NEED A CONDOM! FUCK OFF!”
You snicker silently as Adrian yells and bickers with his sweetheart of a mother. A condom would have been handy before shit went down, but at least you’re on the pill.