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"Luuk?" Rover felt like his voice was swallowed up in his surroundings, barely carrying to the short hallway that connected the two rooms. The conversation next door seemed to fall into silence a bit ago. So, surely-
"Hm? Is something the matter?" Rover was so distracted that Luuk's voice startled him, even as the blonde was in view now. Rover shifted awkwardly, tucking the book under his arm closer to his body. "Rover, what's wrong?" He started across the room and the shorter man couldn't meet his gaze.
"Luuk, what are we?"
There was a soft scoff of laughter that didn't meet Luuk's eyes. "Should I schedule a memory test? You asked that before." He sounded like he was teasing, but his voice and gaze were detached. "I believe I said friends, or strangers with alig-"
"Yeah, yeah, fine, what were we, then?" Rover didn't mean to be snappy. Luuk had been forthcoming about nearly everything else, but he was dancing around this topic so much that there had to be something. Right? His gaze finally settled on Rover. Not on Rover. On the book that he was holding, as he anxiously played with its bookmark.
Luuk warily stepped closer before sighing. "It's not fair to trap someone with semantics, you know."
"I'd say turnabout's fair play."
"I… Can't argue that." He walked to the couch and sat down before patting the spot next to him. "At least tell me why you're asking this time."
It was Rover's turn to hesitate. They were going to be in a stalemate unless he gave in. He settled in next to Luuk before handing him the book he was holding. A photo album. Luuk ran his fingers across the embossed surface slowly. "Were you snooping?"
"Unintentionally. It fell off the desk and… And now I need answers." Rover explained as Luuk opened the front cover. He carefully picked up the paper there before handing it to Rover. There was a pink-haired girl dressed in the main character's clothing from Space Fantasy: Katya, a black cat wielding a sword, and a golden fox dressed in a lab coat, all carefully drawn in colorful crayon. Rover gently ran his trembling fingers over the artist's signature. "Aemeath drew us? And there were some pictures…"
Luuk nodded slowly, lingering on the drawing for a moment. "You didn't want to introduce us because I was still so deeply involved in Fractsidus matters. I didn't meet her until she was at Startorch." He slowly flipped through the album's pages, pausing to run his finger along the protected edge of a photo. Even in the low candlelight, it was easy to see the smile on Rover's face. The affection in his eyes. "She visited a few times, but that stopped when she realized I didn't know any more than she did about your disappearance."
"I'm sorry-"
"No." Luuk shook his head, but he was still focused on the pictures in front of him. The story told there felt so easy to follow, but so foreign to someone who was clearly involved. "You were doing what you felt was best for her. I didn't make it any easier." A soft sigh escaped the doctor. "I didn't see what chasing my father's killers was costing me at the time." Luuk finally looked up from the pictures to focus on the man next to him. "Rover, what we were… It's complicated to explain, even if it was easy in function."
"Story of my life." Rover muttered lowly and turned to fully face Luuk. Luuk half mirrored him, closing the book and setting it aside even though Rover still had the drawing. "I didn't introduce you, but you still knew about each other?"
"You talked about her more than anything else. It makes sense when you're functionally a single parent. It was cute, though. You were constantly worried about how you were raising her. She was the brightest and kindest student I've met. Though I feel like that's just a byproduct of being around you."
"I don't know if that's a good thing." Rover's fingers came up to his necklace, fiddling with the ring on it. "There is such a thing as being selfless to a fault."
"You're one to talk."
"You're not wrong." Rover broke the staring contest he had with the couch to look up at Luuk, but he was watching Rover's fingers spin the golden band slowly against his finger. "It was one of the things I was found with."
"Hm?" Luuk looked up at Rover now, daze seemingly broken.
"The ring. I didn't have much, mostly the clothes on the back and my terminal, but this necklace was tucked under my shirt. It has to be something important to me if I had it protected like that. Right?" He sighed and watched the light from the fireplace flicker across its golden surface until Luuk's movement drew his gaze. Luuk pulled his left glove off and Rover was barely able to register a flash of gold on his ring finger before its slipped off by his nimble fingers.
Rover's breath caught in his throat as he tried to rationalize the band being held out to him. His hand trembled as he carefully took it and held it up to his own ring. It was more worn, something with a patina of daily wear that his own ring didn't have. Rover blinked quickly, driving back the emotion before he shifted his desperate confusion back to the blonde man before him.
"We weren't… Not legally, anyway." Luuk murmured as his hand dropped back to his lap. His attention flickered from Rover back to the rings. "We'd been in Lahai-Roi for a while. It was after you adopted Aemeath and we were both busy. I always assumed that we'd have more time."
The silence that fell over them was near palpable and it was lasting far longer than Rover wanted, but how were you supposed to respond to that? That you'd been… It was more than engaged. Considering that was enough to make him feel nauseous. It wasn't because of the implications of relationship, hell, he couldn't pretend how he felt about Luuk was platonic. It was bad enough that Lynae was teasing him about it. The fact that he'd just… Disappeared and given himself amnesia? He abandoned his family and somehow they didn't hate him. It was more than the fact they didn't hate him. They were so willing to help him. Willing to care about him.
His hand was shaking as he handed the ring back to Luuk. He pulled his hand back quickly, folding his legs tightly to his chest to try to hide his reactions. Luuk started to put the ring back on. There was the briefest pause before it was slipped off his finger again and tucked into his pocket. The bare indent on his finger felt wrong. Could he mourn the lost of something he'd never had? Did he even have the right to consider it?
"Rover… I… This is why I chose to lie." Luuk sighed and seemed to be taking his time with his wording. Somehow this was so much worse than him being angry at him. Yelling at him. "It seems there is no right way to go about this. It doesn't matter what I do or say now, it will just end up hurting you."
Rover's head snapped up from where it was resting on his knees. The confusion felt palpable as his chest began to ache. "What?" He released the grip he had on himself and leaned towards Luuk. "What does it mater if it hurts me?" Rover got up, shaking his hands out as he tried not to ball them into fists. "What about Aemeath? What about Shore Keeper and the rest of the Black Shores? What about you?" He was pacing. He had to. He needed some kind of release for what he was feeling.
"Rover-"
"I broke so many promises and abandoned so many people and you think my feelings should have any sort of consideration?" His breath was ragged and his head light. It was hard to get a deep enough breath to even think. "How do you not hate me? How did you not run me off the moment that I dared to show my face again, memory loss or not?" On some level he realized he was getting louder, his throat feeling tight. "Why did I do that? How could I do that? Fuck, I-"
"Rover." Warm hands encase Rover's shoulders as Luuk's voice sharply cuts through the wall of sound trying to escape his brain through his mouth. "Easy, easy, look at me." Watery golden eyes meet soft red as all of Rover's attention falls to the doctor. "Breathe with me. In and out. In and out." Luuk repeated himself several times, a soothing chant that Rover slowly brought himself to follow. Deep breaths that eased the tension in his throat, in his chest. He did feel better. He intended to step back, to show Luuk that he was fine to stand on his own, but his knees found that this was the best moment to buckle. Luuk caught him easily, scooping him up to carry him to the couch.
"I'm sorry." Rover tucked his head against Luuk's shoulder, curling up against him. Luuk gently shushed him as he sat down and Rover easily got comfortable in his lap. He was not going to think about how easily they fit together or how natural this felt.
"No, don't apologize." Luuk murmured as he pulled Rover closer. Fingers gently massaged against Rover's scalp, relaxing some of the tension there. "I know I can't speak for everyone, but there's nothing you need to apologize for with me."
"That feels like a lie."
"Why would I lie to you?" Luuk sounded exasperated as Rover pulled away and faced him properly. A mere eyebrow arching was all that he had to do and Luuk dropped back against the sofa, covering his face with a groan. Rover tried not to think about the position they were in as he got comfortable straddling the doctor's legs. "You could give me some grace, you know? It's not every day that the man you're in love with that disappeared twenty years ago shows up again with amnesia. I'd like to think I'm doing a relatively good job not losing my mind."
A cacophony of thoughts blazed through Rover's brain as he watched Luuk try to settle what he could only imagine was a similar situation in his own head. He slowly reached up and pulled Luuk's hand from his face. It was impossible not to blush under that careful gaze as he brought that uncovered hand to his chest. "I want to ask something, but you can choose not to answer."
The silence felt heavy before Luuk sat up slightly, gaze moving from their hands to Rover's face. "Alright, I'll bite."
Rover took a deep breath, steeling himself to keep his eyes locked with Luuk's as he spoke. "That was present tense. N-not… Do you…?" His confidence wavered and he closed his eyes, squeezing Luuk's hand.
"Semantics again. You know, if you want to change your field of study, I'm not sure if this is the way to go about it." There was laughter in Luuk's voice that Rover hadn't been expecting and the smallest smile on his face once he dared to open his eyes.
"Luuk, that's not funny-"
"I know." Luuk leaned forward slightly before he slipped his other glove off. There was a moment of hesitation before he reached forward and cupped Rover's cheek. Rover leaned into the touch, just a little. "You're not the Rover I fell in love with. It wouldn't be fair to either of us to harbor old feelings." The softest sigh escaped him. "The only wrinkle in that is that you don't just love one version of someone. You would still be different now even if you stayed. So here I am, falling in love with you all over again."
How do you respond to something like that? Rover tried to say something, anything, but all he could manage was squeezing Luuk's hand. Luuk's expression softened and he squeezed Rover's hand in return.
"It's okay. You don't have to have a response." Luuk's thumb trailed over Rover's cheek. A comforting gesture, but it made Rover's heart hammer in his chest. "I'm sorry that I've overwhelmed you, I wasn't intending to. I should have asked what you wanted to know instead of lying. I'm sorry." There was a finality in the way Luuk spoke that made Rover uneasy. The cold that settled in as Luuk pulled his hands away making him ache.
"No."
Luuk blinked and his forehead creased in confusion. "What? Rover, 'no' doesn't ex-" Luuk's words were cut off as Rover's lips cut them off. Everything stilled for a long moment before Rover started to pull away. Luuk chased, tongue parting Rover's lips to deepen the kiss, arm wrapping around Rover's waist, hand cradling his cheek. Rover leaned into his hand, cradling Luuk's face as he kissed him deeper. The scramble of limbs and desperate affection continued until they both had to pull back, gasping for breath.
Rover tenderly caressed Luuk's face, chuckling softly at how they'd slipped down on the couch. "So, what does this mean?" Luuk asked, arching a brow up at the dark haired man.
Rover took a moment to brush the hair out of Luuk's face and just admire him. Red faced, panting, hair a mess, and pupils blown wide, it was a good look on him. "No apologies. No consideration for what we 'should' or 'shouldn't' do." His hands trailed down to Luuk's chest and kept him balanced above him. "I'm still learning to relate to other people. Hell, I'm still learning my own emotions. I can't promise that I even understand what I'm feeling but I do know that I want to be close to you. Hearing you laugh, seeing you smile, it makes my heart do honestly stupid things that I've only read about before." His hands slipped down Luuk's chest until he found the pocket that held his ring, slowly running his fingers along the outline. "And… And watching you put this in your pocket hurt in a way I don't know how to describe."
Luuk's hands cradled Rover's face, slowly running his thumb along his lower lip. "So, what do you want to do about it?"
Rover knew what he wanted to do. It was exceedingly foolish and not thought out. Rover's hand twitched, brushing against the ring again. "That's more than a one person decision, you know." Rover turned his face into Luuk's hand, nuzzling as he tried to think.
"That's avoiding the question, Rover." Luuk's voice was light and teasing as he shifted his hand to cradle his chin. "I want to know what you want to do about it."
Rover whined, wishing he could bury his face in Luuk's hand again, but his blush was on full display and Luuk looked terribly pleased. "No, no, you do not get to tease me, Lynae has teased me enough for everyone." Rover groaned and escaped Luuk's grasp to press his face in against Luuk's shoulder.
Luuk chuckled softly and ran his hands over Rover's back. "Oh? Rover, have you been talking about me?" His tone was so very teasing, but pleased in a way that Rover could only imagine the smile on his face.
"Oh, bully me for having friends, why don't you." Rover grumbled in against his shoulder.
"I could never bully you for that." Luuk reached down and brushed Rover's hair out of his face, just so he could grin at him. "I can tease you for having a crush on your school's doctor, however."
Rover grumbled loudly at that, but stayed nestled in against Luuk. One of Luuk's arms remained wrapped around him, the other bringing his hand to rest on his chest. "Why wouldn't I?" His voice was soft as he caught Luuk's pointer in his grasp. "You said I was still Rover. Wouldn't it just make sense for me to fall for you again, too?"
Luuk nuzzled into Rover's hair, his free hand rubbing slow circles along his back. "Careful, Rover. If you keep talking like that, I'm going to think this is more than a crush."
Rover shoved himself up on one arm, staring at Luuk in utter confusion. "I literally just kissed you. What do you mean, you think this is more than a crush?"
A wicked grin set across the blonde's face. "Hmm? Did you now? Maybe I need another, just as a remi-" Rover smothered out his words, smiling at the laughter bubbling against his lips as he kissed Luuk again and again and again.