Chapter Text
London, England
MI6 agent 007 James Bond arrived at the MI6 headquarters and was ready for his next assignment. As he was walking down the corridor, he began to assume the next assignment would be about a Martian invading Highfalcon, and he was told to find out what was going on on Mars. If that were the case, then Bond would find himself in the most exotic assignment of his life.
After greeting the secretary, Moneypenny, the 00 agent entered M's office. M's real name is Sir Miles Messervy, and he's the head of MI6.
Bond approached him. "Good afternoon, sir."
"Good afternoon, 007." M greeted. "Sit down. A wild assignment for you."
"I'm assuming it has something to do with that Martian creature invading Highfalcon." Bond assumed as he sat down across from M's desk.
"No, something different and less bizarre," M told him. "What do you know about the maid who ruled Akihabara during the 20th century, the maid named Nagi?"
"Nagi?" Bond replied. He was surprised to hear that name. "Yes, as you said, the maid who once ruled the Akihabara neighborhood, but then disappeared. But witnesses say a group of soldiers took her away and sent her out of the country. Nagi also killed anyone who was a threat to her, and she was a power-hungry woman."
M nodded at Bond's answer. "The witnesses weren't crazy when they saw soldiers taking Nagi away from her building. Some sources believed the Special Assault Team was responsible, but they denied the involvement, which is true. Soldiers who apprehended the maid were from Phantom."
"The same soldiers who assisted my companions and I during the invasion of Aeon last year, and the raid in the secret hideout in Brazil." Bond recalled.
"Precisely." M nodded. "They were hired by Nagi's former sworn sister, named Ranko Mannen, who negotiated with the Japanese government to give her and other maids, who were against Nagi's idea of a civil war, immunity, and become protectors of Akihabara. And now, Ranko is in charge of Creatureland, which was later renamed to Creature Moe."
"And I'm guessing something happened to this Ranko Mannen woman?" Bond wondered.
"Ranko is currently missing," M told him. "Her friends, who she's close to, have said that Ranko had left Akihabara to 'cool her head off' after feeling stressed out. But a maid saw her entering a black limo, and since then, concerns about Ranko have risen."
"So, a trip to Akihabara to meet the maids." Bond believed.
"Unfortunately for you, 007, you won't be going there to have fun with the maids and have a one-night stand with them," M responded. "You'll be travelling to Finland."
"Finland?"
"Yes. You'll be going there because Phantom had a private prison facility that was attacked, and Nagi was held up there for decades and was abducted. A squad of soldiers raided the facility, killing all of the inmates except Nagi and killing the Phantom soldiers. And guess who led the attackers?"
Bond deeply breathed as he thought about one person who was the number one person he despised. "It better not be Blofeld." Ernst Stavro Blofeld was Bond's arch nemesis. Years ago, he was finally killed by the 00 agent.
"No, not him," M reassured him as he shook his head. "The Korean bowler hat man, Oddjob."
Bond was shocked. He killed Oddjob years ago when the bowler hat man worked for Auric Goldfinger. The 00 agent killed him by electrocuting him during a fight in Fort Knox, but then found out he survived, then he learned he was killed by Astoflo inside the Mario Brothers house last year. He didn't want to believe the bowler hat man was immune to dying.
"Are you serious, M?!" He looked at him. "How the hell is he still alive?!"
"I don't know 007," M told him. "We've been trying to figure that out, and we believe time travel was used, just like what happened to Dr. Robotnik, Agent Stone, and Robert Page."
"No." Bond shook his head. "I believe something else caused this."
"What do you suspect?" M asked.
"This might sound crazy to you, but I think cloning exists in this unhinged universe." Bond believed. "First, we had a man from the 1930s, John Coffey, who had healing powers and resurrected the dead before it was too late, then was wrongfully executed on death row, and brought back to life to the present day. Then we had maids slaughtering each other in Japan since the Meiji era, and it became worse when the Creatureland Group was formed.
He continued. "We had the Mushroom Kingdom War that went on from 2019 to 2023. Dr. Robotnik killing Sonic the Hedgehog, committing an invasion, and getting recreated after his death twice, dangerous robots killing people, time travel, and just now a Martian invading Highfalcon. Am I going insane, M?"
"Not at all, 007." M sided with him. "If I were you, I would head straight to Highfalcon to meet your silly buddies there. And take them to Finland with you to find out what happened at the prison. By the way, you might see a Martian for the very first time in your life."
"Yes, sir." Bond nodded. "What a time to be alive."
"Before you're dismissed, Q will show up here at any second to show you the gadgets you'll use for this assignment," M told the 00 agent.
The door inside M's office was knocked, and a man entered. It was Q who was carrying a case that contained the 00 agent's gadgets.
"Hello 007." Q greeted him as he placed the case on M's desk.
"Good afternoon, Q," Bond replied as he stood.
Q grabbed out a gadget for Bond to use and handed it to Bond. "Inspiration from the defunct PeopleLog app. Do you remember that app, 007?"
"Yes." Bond nodded. "The app that creepily gained information about someone with the use of a camera on a phone. Bob abducted the people who installed it on their device."
"This is called the Info Receiver," Q told him. "This device lets you obtain info about someone who's a person of interest in your assignments, so that things will become easier for you. And if that point of interest individual is deceased, you can still obtain info about them and find out what they saw before they died."
"That's a lot of plot armor you're giving me," Bond remarked.
"And also, this pencil." Q showed him as he held the pencil.
"A pencil?" Bond reacted as he widened his eyes in surprise. "Am I going back to school, Q?"
"To grow up? Yes." Q answered sarcastically. "This pencil is deadly; it can blow up anyone who writes with it for five seconds. But for an instant explosion, the user will have to pull the eraser off."
"I guess you were inspired by the Explosive Pen." Bond looked at him as he referred to a gadget he used years ago.
"That's right, 007," Q replied. "Don't lose it, because it'll go into the wrong hands."
"That will be very unfortunate for them." Bond nodded. "I'll take good care of it, but I'll give it to John Wick since he killed a guy with a pencil, and have him blow someone up."
Highfalcon, New York
Night was still in Highfalcon. Inside Mario's police outpost, Marvin and Hunk were inside the cell together. Outside of the cell were Mario, Luigi, Robocop, Astolfo, Max, Lucy, Kouta, and Ada.
Franziska was in her prosecutor's office, setting up charges for Marvin and Hunk, and couldn't wait to send the foolish fools to prison for murder and destruction of property.
The others, Lupin, who was holding down the fort of his home and the Mario Brothers house with 47.
John Coffey, Master Chief, and John Wick were keeping J. Jonah Jameson protected during the night because the editor-in-chief believed Spider-Man was plotting to destroy the Highfalcon Times building and kill him and his employees/friends.
Ada was originally going to leave, but Mario annoyingly encouraged her to spend time with him and his friends in his police outpost, which she agreed to just to end the childish begging from the former plumber.
Marvin stood in the cell, while being livid. "Oh, you evil Earth creatures! All of you are making me extremely angry! You pedophile and sicko Earth creatures!"
Astolfo glared at him in annoyance. "Geez, we know already! And stop calling us pedophile and sicko Earth creatures!"
Ada sided with the femboy as she looked at Marvin. "Besides, you told us that a number of times, and it's getting annoying. We're just normal humans."
Not in this city. Max thought in response. Highfalcon is the wildest city I have ever been in, in my entire life. Everything crazy happens here, and Ada will see a lot of it soon, or likely in our adventures, which Mario will force her into getting involved in.
"You will pay, Ada Wong!" Marvin pointed his finger at her in anger. "You will become the biggest threat to Mars! Same with Dr. Ivo Robotnik!"
Hunk responded. "Wait, him? He invaded your planet? That must explain why he was so egoistic about it."
"Is that why you were here to kill us?" Mario asked him.
"Yeah, that bizarre doctor wanted me to kill all of you, including Ada Wong." Hunk explained.
"Why me?" Ada asked as she placed her hands on her hips.
Hunk shrugged as he waved his hands. "I don't know, he believed you were going to be a major threat to him and wanted you to die. And he called you 'Ada Wong, the Ultimate Dork'."
Ada's jaw dropped as she blinked her eyes when she heard her name and Ultimate Dork. She imagined herself as a student in a high school named Hope's Peak Academy that had the ultimate students who attended there. Her ears caught snickering coming from Astolfo, which made her glare at him, causing the femboy to look away and gulp, hoping he wouldn't get punched by her. Astolfo knew what Ada Wong was capable of.
"Oh god..." Ada muttered as she rolled her eyes. She looked at Mario. "So Mario? Am I still deputized or what? Can I leave now?"
"I got good news to tell you, Ada!" Mario smiled. "I sent a recommendation letter to Chief Larvell Jones to have you join the Highfalcon PD!"
Ada widened her eyes in shock. "You're joking."
"Haha, nope!" Mario laughed. "Seeing how you performed while going up against Marvin the Martian, and uh..." Mario looked at the papers of the people he arrested at his desk. "...Hunk! I believe you can kick people's butts."
"And if you say yes, you'll be killing every single criminal you see, instead of arresting them like an actual cop," Max told her.
"You'll be giving criminals violent justice, and your red outfit will match their blood," Robocop added.
"You'll also be humiliating the people we arrest and have them be upside down," Lucy smirked.
"And you'll see how powerful I am with my augments," Kouta said to her.
"And give the bad guys a violent ass kicking!" Astolfo grinned. He raised his fist. "You'll give them some of these, a knuckle sandwich!"
"And hopefully you won't-a scare us and turn into a boo haha," Luigi said as he nervously laughed.
Ada was in disbelief and believed she was dreaming, but she noticed she wasn't, and this was all real. This was completely unexpected. She looked at everyone. "So let me get this straight, because of what I did while helping you guys in taking these two idiots down, you seriously believe that I'm going to say yes? Ha! Give me a break!"
Mario got on his knees, grabbed Ada's ankle, and cried while begging her to join the Highfalcon PD.
"PLEASE!" He screamed out as he begged.
Oh, not this again. Max sighed. He did this to 47 before I met the silly plumber.
Ada glared at Mario. "What the hell are you doing?!"
"I want you to join!" Mario cried. "Please! Please join!"
"No!" Ada replied loudly as she tried to break free from Mario, but his strength was too strong.
"PLEASE ADA PLEASE ADA PLEASE ADA PLEASE ADA PLEASE ADA PLEASE ADA PLEASE ADA PLEASE ADA PLEASE ADA PLEASE ADA PLEASE ADA PLEASE ADA PLEASE ADA PLEASE ADA PLEASE ADA PLEASE ADA PLEASE ADA PLEASE ADA-"
"STOP!!!! I'LL JOIN!!!!!!!!" Ada yelled as she snapped. Her yell was so loud it shattered the windows of Mario's police outpost.
Already, Ada Wong is going insane over Mario's unhinged, childish behavior. Max pointed out.
Ada started to pant after her rare outburst. "I'll join! Okay?! Are you happy now?!"
Mario was very happy to hear her say that to him and grabbed Ada and hugged her while jumping for joy all over the police outpost. Astolfo, as well as Luigi, decided to cheer with him.
"Welcome, Ada!" Astolfo grinned.
"Show what you're made of!" Luigi cheered.
"Yay! Wahoo! Welcome aboard, Ada Wong!" Mario happily said to her.
"If you don't stop hopping around like a child, I will kill you." Ada threatened him, stopping the celebration of her joining the police in Highfalcon.
Mario, including Astolfo and Luigi, gulped and immediately stopped cheering. Mario nervously laughed as he released the lady in red. "Welcome! You're-a not going to regret."
"For your sake, man, who's still a child, you'd better be right about that." Ada crossed her arms as she looked at him with her intimidating expression.
Hunk started to laugh, which Ada noticed. She glared at him. "What's so funny, Hunk?!"
"Nothing!" Hunk laughed.
Marvin noticed that what Ada did made him believe that Earth creatures have a monster side. "Oh my, Earth creatures can form a violent monster side! K-9?! Can you hear me?!"
"Who's K-9?" Hunk wondered as he looked at the Martian. "Your dog?"
Right after Marvin spoke to K-9, the martian dog appeared by crashing through the ceiling and landing successfully. The people, except Marvin, flinched when K-9 crashed through the ceiling as he descended.
Marvin was happy to see the dog "K-9! You're alive!"
K-9 approached him and sat in front of him across the cell door. The Martian continued talking to his companion dog.
"K-9? You must get me out of this Earth creature cell." Marvin told him. "These Earth creatures captured me after I helped them take down the Earth creature who's in this cell with me."
"So, no more calling us pedophiles and sickos, Martian creature?" Ada looked at him.
"I wasn't talking to you, Ada Wong!" Marvin glared at her. "You're making me even angrier!" He looked at K-9. "K-9? If you cannot help me, then you must exterminate Dr. Ivo Robotnik as fast as possible! And if these Earth creatures who captured me refuse to release me, then vaporize all of them."
"Wait!" Mario stepped in. "I have an idea!"
"You're gonna let us go?" Hunk asked him.
Please say no. Max hoped, hoping Mario wouldn't free them.
If Mario lets him and the stupid Martian out and everyone is okay with it, then I am surrounded by idiots. Ada thought.
"Yeah!" Mario happily grinned.
Of course. Max sighed.
Ada looked at Mario. "Excuse me? Why would you want to do such a stupid thing like that?"
Robocop stepped in as he sided with the lady in red. "Mario? Marvin mass murdered innocent lives, and Hunk committed attempted murder on us. I suggest we keep them locked up and charged."
"I agree." Ada nodded.
Mario slumped his shoulders and sighed. "But can we forgive and forget and have them become our friends? Besides, Marvin lost his home because of Robotnik, and he's ordering his dog to kill us all if we don't free him." He smiled at everybody. "So we all need to forgive and forget and become his friend, including Hunk!"
"Such stupid logic." Ada criticized as she shook her head.
"Completely stupid." Lucy agreed while nodding. "So stupid it makes me want to rip him apart violently for being so stupid. Including his annoying brother, who gets scared at every single fucking thing."
"Okay, Lucy." Kouta placed his hand on her shoulder to calm him down. "Let's relax."
His words made Lucy exhale deeply as she closed her eyes. She was grateful for meeting the man she loved, who could calm her down at times.
The door of the police outpost opened, revealing Chief Larvell Jones. He was shocked to see what happened to the interior, the hole in the ceiling, and the shattered windows.
"Whoa!" Jones reacted. "Did you guys have a party in here?! And you didn't invite me!?
"No party, Chief Jones!" Mario reassured him with a smile. "Ada Wong yelled, and Marvin's dog crashed through the ceiling."
Ada wanted to strangle the foolish plumber to death for putting her on the spot over her outburst because of his annoying begging.
"Oh, okay, no problem." Jones nodded as he smiled. He looked at Ada. "Anyway, Ada Wong?"
"Yes, that's me, chief," Ada replied as she placed her hands on her hips. "So I got the job?"
"You sure did! After reading the recommendation letter that was sent to me by Mario, I am convinced that you're a badass woman! Welcome to the Highfalcon PD!" Jones welcomed her.
"Thanks." Ada looked away.
"Don't be shy!" Jones told her while encouraging her. "If a criminal shoots you, shoot them back! Show them who's boss while BANG BANG BANG BANG!" He made gunshot sound effects, which made the group unfazed, except Ada, Marvin, and Hunk.
Jones continued. "I know you'll do well here! Have a great night and a great day, Ada Wong!"
"Wait, Chief Jones!" Mario stopped him. "Before you leave, may I request that you drop the charges on Marvin the Martian and Hunk?"
"Sure!" Jones allowed. "As long as the whipping prosecutor will be okay with it."
She won't. Max assumed. She'll lose her mind and chase Mario all over the city until she whips him. That's what's going to happen, because this is Franziska von Karma we're talking about.
"Thank you, Chief Jones!" Mario smiled.
"No problem!" Jones smiled back. "Take care, everyone!" He left the police outpost while making guitar sound effects.
Ada was completely shocked by who she had just met. "He's the chief of police?"
"Welcome to Highfalcon," Max replied to her.
"The dumbest city in the world," Lucy added.
Mario turned Marvin and Hunk and unlocked the cell door and freed them. "The charges will be dropped! And both of you will become our friends!"
"Thank you, friendly Earth creature!" Marvin smiled. He looked at K-9. "K-9? Do you suppose that all Earth creatures behave like that away?"
Hunk responded to Mario. "You're way, way too nice."
"Haha!" Mario laughed. "I know! It's-a who I am!"
Another person arrived at the police outpost station, and it was Franziska. She noticed the shattered windows and the mess inside that came from the crashed ceiling. She had the paperwork of the charges on Marvin and Hunk with her, but noticed the two were out of their cell, which made her glare at Mario.
"Mario? Why are these foolish fools not in their cell?" She questioned him.
"Oh, Franziska!" Mario approached her as he smiled at her. "You arrived! I decided to drop the charges on Marvin the Martian and Hunk, and now they have become our friends!"
"YOU WHAT?!" Franziska angrily screamed at him as she violently slammed the paperwork on the floor.
Mario gulped and trembled. He responded as he stuttered. "I-I d-decided t-to drop the c-charges on M-Marvin and Hunk, a-and they're our f-friends n-now."
"WHY WOULD YOU DO SUCH A FOOLISH THING LIKE THAT?!" Franziska exploded as an angry inferno formed on her body. "THE FOOLISH MARTIAN MURDERED INNOCENT LIVES AND THE FOOLISH MERCENARY TRIED TO KILL US! WHY ARE YOU SO FOOLISH FILLED WITH FOOLISHNESS? HAVE YOU LEARNED ABSOLUTELY NOTHING YOU FOOLISH FOOL?!?!!"
The reaction I expected to see. Max thought. I wonder if Franziska will lose her voice the second time.
Ada smirked at Mario. "You're in big trouble."
Mario sweated in fear and made a run for it by jumping through the hole in the ceiling, with Franziska jumping through it as well, and she started to chase him down the street as she wielded her whip.
"I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU PAY FOOLISH HUSBAND FOOLISH MARIO!!!!" Franziska shouted at him as she chased him.
Max breathed at what was happening in front of him. What a day to be alive to witness this. Including this, that's happening right in front of me and everyone.
Astolfo thought it would be the night to be the opposite of a mature, behaved femboy as he picked up the paperwork that was slammed onto the floor and giggled at Luigi.
"Hey Luigi!" Astolfo giggled and smiled at him. "Let's have a paper fight!"
"Okay!" Luigi smiled as he grabbed a paper from the paperwork and threw it at his femboy lover as he and the latter laughed.
Lucy witnessed them not acting their age. "Why are you two doing this?"
"The paperwork is useless now," Astolfo answered him as he threw a piece of paper at Luigi. "So why not have some fun with it together?" He then threw pieces of paper at the Diclonius, which made her be on the verge of a violent spree as she gritted her teeth.
"That's it," Lucy said. Instead of using her vectors to rip the arms off of Astolfo and Luigi, Lucy decided to use them to throw the papers at everyone, except Kouta, inside the room.
Kouta was relieved that Lucy didn't use her vectors to rip the limbs off of the two and everyone. But he hoped that this sudden paper fight wouldn't go in a completely violent direction.
Marvin was shocked to see this happening in front of him and K-9. They didn't think Earth creatures would behave this way.
Hunk stood as he crossed his arms, seeing these people, specifically Luigi and Astolfo, behaving so childishly like Robotnik.
Astolfo laughed out loud as he was having fun by throwing paper at Luigi and everyone. He looked at Ada and threw paper at her. "Join us Ada!"
Ada could've dodged it if she had seen it coming, and was mad at herself for not dodging it. She couldn't comprehend how stupid Luigi and Astolfo were, and seeing them throwing paper at each other like children, including her and others, drove her nuts.
"I am about to lose my mind and murder someone," Ada mumbled.
Robocop decided not to play paper fight inside the police outpost, but instead to stop it from continuing. "Luigi! Astolfo! Lucy! No more roughhousing in Mario's police outpost!"
Luigi and Astolfo went from acting childish inside the Mario Brothers house to inside Mario's police outpost. Max remarked. He then had paper thrown at him by Luigi, who was laughing. These people are on another level of how immature they are; it's amazing.