Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Up to a Brownstone, up three flights of stairs

Everybody's pinned you, but nobody cares

He's got the works, gives you sweet taste

Ah then you gotta split because you got no time to waste

I'm waiting for my man

Baby don't you holler, darlin' don't you bawl and shout

I'm feeling good, you know I'm gonna work it on out

I'm feeling good, I'm feeling oh so fine

Until tomorrow, but that's just some other time

I'm waiting for my man

• “I’m Waiting for the Man” The Velvet Underground, 1967

The air was warm with a late-Autumn breeze. The sky was dark, with the streets of the red-light district only being lit by a single street lamp. Girls stood at the street corners as cops patrolled around searching for trouble to get into. The alleyways perpendicular to the street were as dark as a forest at night. 

Jayce had never been in an area like this, and he was feeling the anxiety of what he was about to do. As he walked down the street, he kept checking over his shoulder to make sure no one was following him. He had scoped out his destination in the daylight before coming tonight, but nothing prepared him for the eerie sense of dread he felt. 

Look, Jayce wasn’t a queer; he was just… curious. He knew how people like that were treated by the police. He didn’t even want to think about whether his University found out about this. He’d be sure to be kicked out. However, he didn’t want to think about that right now. He was too interested in what might happen tonight to back out now. 

As he continued to walk through the darkness of the street, he finally found the alleyway he was searching for. He saw a small sign near the back lighted up in red showing “The Trade.” Men were hanging outside smoking cigarettes, and another substance that Jayce did not like the smell of. He could hear the music coming from inside, and was amazed the police hadn’t already entered the bar that night. 

“Hey, handsome,” a tall man smoking outside the door said to Jayce. “Come here for anything good?” 

“No, sorry,” Jayce said, panicked. He walked over to the bouncer and entered the bar. Men stared at him like fresh meat as he walked through to the bar handler. 

“Can I have a neat whiskey?” Jayce asked the bartender. 

“Sure thing, sugar. Haven’t seen your pretty face around here before. Welcome to the Trade,” the bartender answered. “Looking for anyone specific?” 

“No, I’m just investigating,” Jayce started, but then panicked at what that insinuated when the bartender's eyes went wide. “No, not investigate- I am not a cop, I meant I’m just looking- I mean… yeah, ok” Jayce fumbled his words and grabbed his whiskey and walked off into the crowd of men. 

See, men have always piqued Jayce’s interest, but he would rather die than let anyone find out about that. Jayce walked to the back corner of the bar, found a seat at a lone table, and began to watch the men socialize around him. He wanted to engage, but he was too scared to say a word to anyone. 

“Hello,” a strange accented voice said beside Jayce. “You seem to be scared out of your mind. First time here? I haven’t seen your face around this part of town.” The strange man looked Jayce up and down. Jayce thought he was either sizing him up or preparing for a meal. 

The man's accent was tantalizing to Jayce. He couldn’t quite place it, but it sounded something close to Russian. 

“Hey,” Jayce answered the man. “Yeah, I'm just looking around, not in the mood for anything specific.” He said, trying to dismiss the stranger. 

He finally looked over and took in the sight of the man before him. He was shorter than Jayce himself with a slender frame. His face was long with sharp cheekbones that seemed to be sunken in. The man also had large bags under his eyes. Jayce glanced down for a second to size the stranger up and noticed that while he had a drink in his left hand, he was leaning on a cane in his right hand. 

The stranger smiled at him. “I often find the best things when I’m not searching for anything specific,” he said, leaning in closer. 

Jayce inhaled quickly and began to stiffen up. “What sort of things are you not looking for?” Jayce said, testing the waters. 

“Oh, you know, handsome men with sharp jawlines who look like they couldn’t even harm a fly,” Viktor smirked, putting his drink down and leaning his arm beside Jayce. 

Jayce let out a small chuckle. “Wow, you sure know how to talk a guy's ego up.” Jayce had to admit to himself that the man’s accent and demeanor were very enticing. He was a very attractive man, and Jayce found himself wanting to know more about him. 

“Yes, I do seem to be good at flattery.” The stranger leaned in close. “I’m Viktor, and you?” 

“Uhhhh,” Jayce hesitated, not sure if he wanted to give his real name or not. He was scared of being identified, but the more he thought about it, the more he realized that if he was caught, he could just as easily snitch on someone else. “Jayce… I’m Jayce.” 

“Well, hello, Jayce,” Viktor said to him, leaning in close enough for Jayce to feel Viktor's breath on his cheek. Jayce sucked in a quick breath, arousal spiking through his abdomen.

Jayce took a large swig of his drink and looked Viktor up and down, trying to decide if he was worth it. “Hello to you, too,” he said nervously. 

“Look, I can tell you are nervous,” Viktor said, brushing a hand against Jayce’s side. “What would you say to going back to my place and having a good time?” 

Jayce froze. He was not expecting the other man to be so forward. They just found out each other's name. How is he supposed to go to this man's home? All of the worst scenarios started to rush through Jayce’s head. 

However, all of a sudden, Viktor leaned in even closer and whispered into Jayce’s ear, “Nobody has to know.” Arousal shot through Jayce's spine all the way down to his crotch. The thought of what that implied had him instantly desperate. 

“Ok,” Jayce said quietly, too quiet to hear within the bar. 

“Say that again, please.” Viktor leaned in even closer, brushing his lips against Jayce’s earlobe. Jayce sucked in another sharp breath. 

“Yes, ok. I want to go with you.” Jayce said while avoiding eye contact, too nervous to look Viktor in the eyes. 

Viktor grabbed his hand and began to lead him out of the bar. Viktor was very assured of himself, walking confidently through the crowd of men, albeit a little slow because of his leg. This did not matter to Jayce as he admired the other man's confidence. He didn’t know what he was expecting for tonight, but this certainly wasn’t it. However, if he thought harder, he would realize he would only ever go into that bar for one reason, and this was it. But that was for Jayce to keep to himself. 

As soon as they exited the bar, Viktor dropped his hand. They walked through the dark street together, Jayce following after Viktor, not knowing where he was going. They walked under the streetlight, and Jayce could see the other man straining in pain as he walked. They passed by the girls on the corner, and Viktor greeted each one politely. This surprised Jayce, but he didn’t know what to make of it. 

Two cops passed by the men and eyed them suspiciously. This sent a shot of dread down Jayce’s spine, but Viktor was quick to quell that feeling. 

“We are just two friends walking in the night, nothing suspicious. I understand the nervousness, but trust me, it'll be ok.” Viktor assured 

“Oh, I’m sorry. Sorry for being nervous walking through the street with a complete stranger, not knowing where I am. Apologies for being so anxious.” Jayce defended himself. 

“Hey, hey, it's all good. No need to freak out. You can leave at any time. I am not keeping you here with me.” 

“I know, I know, I’m sorry,” Jayce said, apologizing for his rash outbreak. 

“My place is not far. We’ll be ok.” Viktor reassured and continued walking. They made it back to Viktor’s apartment in around five minutes, and Viktor quickly unlocked the door and led them both inside. He walked to the kitchen and set his apartment keys into a bowl on the counter. He leaned his cane against the counter and turned around, crossing his arms. “So, I’m guessing you’ve not done this much before.” 

Jayce chuckled, “Ha, try not at all.” Viktor's eyes went wide, but he quickly schooled his expression, clearly not wanting to scare Jayce away. 

“Now I know why you have been acting so on edge,” Viktor said, picking up his cane and walking over to Jayce, who was still by the front door. “Is there… anything I can do to ease your anxiety?” 

“Umm, honestly, I’m not sure. It's funny,” Jayce began to nervously laugh, “I’m not even queer, I’m just sort of curious.” 

“Well, this is quite a brave move from a man who is not even queer; maybe I can help you with that.” Viktor walked Jayce back against the front door and leaned into him. Jayce inhaled a sharp breath and stared at Viktor’s lips. “Is this ok, Jayce?” Viktor said, hovering his lips over Jayce’s mouth. 

Jayce took a deep breath and began to nod his head ever so subtly. Viktor put his left hand beside Jayce’s head, boxing him in even more. “I need a yes, Jayce, or I will stop and send you away.” 

Jayce inhaled a broken breath. “Yes,” He said quietly, leaning closer to Viktor’s lips, “Gods yes, please do not stop,” he begged. With that, Viktor’s lips crashed into Jayce's with a feverish hunger. 

Butterflies filled Jayce’s stomach, consuming all of the nervous energy that he had inside of him. He had only ever kissed girls before, but this felt… right. This felt like his first time. All the things people said he was supposed to feel when kissing someone, he was finally feeling those things. Jayce kissed Viktor back with an intense need. It felt as if he had never needed anything more than he needed Viktor right then and there. 

The men's lips danced together under the soft light of Viktor's apartment. Viktor had Jayce pinned to the door, and the feeling of this was making him feel things he had never felt before. Want. Need. Jayce needed more of Viktor, and he felt as if he was going to die if he did not get it. 

Jayce snuck his tongue out of his mouth, testing Viktor’s top lip. Viktor returned the gesture and licked Jayce’s lips back. Viktor then opened his mouth and Jace snaked his tongue inside. Their tongues began dancing, intertwined with one another. Jayce licked the roof of Viktor's mouth, which drew a moan from the other man. The sound sent a shiver down Jayce’s spine. 

Jayce moaned back into Viktor's mouth in turn. This led to Viktor kissing Jayce with even more fury. It was as if each other's mouths were the other's favourite food. They could not get enough of each other. 

All of a sudden, Viktor’s cane dropped to the ground, and he shifted all of his weight onto his left leg. He then thrusted his right leg between Jayce's legs, pinning Jayce further against the door. Viktor’s thigh began to graze Jayce’s quickly hardening dick, and with each movement of friction, Jayce let out a whine. 

Jayce had never been in a position as vulnerable as this. When he had done things like this with girls, he had always been the one in control. Gentle and caring, making sure the girl was alright and satisfied, even though Jayce himself never was. This was different. This was something rougher and needier. Jayce craved for Viktor to take further control. Jayce let go of all of his inhibitions and began to give in to Viktor. He wanted to let himself experience the pleasure that was going to be received tonight, even if it was just for this one night. 

Jayce began to grab at Viktor's clothing, untucking his shirt from his pants. He snuck his hands beneath the newly untucked shirt and onto the small of Viktors' back. Jayce pulled Viktor even closer to him, their bodies completely flushed together. As they made out against the door, Jayce could feel a growing hardness growing in the other man's pants as well. Both men were well aroused by now. 

As Jayce continued to grab at Viktor’s back, he noticed the other man began to put more weight into Jayce. Normally, Jayce would not mind, but it seemed as if the man was attempting to escape pain from the position they were in. Begrudgingly, Jayce put a hand between his and Viktor’s chest and pushed the other man just far enough away that their lips broke apart. He kept a hand on the small of Viktor’s back in case the other man really was in pain. 

“Are you ok?” Jayce asked. “You seem like you’re in some pain. We can stop if you want.” 

“Jayce if I were to stop doing something I enjoy every time I felt pain, I would never get to enjoy anything in life,” Viktor said before chasing after Jayce’s lips once again. Helpless against the other man, Jayce continued to kiss back before gaining some semblance of reason and pulled away once again. 

“Ok, we don’t have to stop, but do you want to move to somewhere more comfortable, like your bed? Especially since you did just admit you were in pain.” 

“I suppose we can move to bed,” Viktor said before biting at Jayce's lower lip. 

They kissed for another few minutes before Jayce forced them apart again and leaned down to pick up Viktor’s cane. “Here, let's head to the bed now,” Jayce said before punctuating the sentence with a final kiss before ushering Viktor away from their close proximity. 

Viktor put his cane to the floor, leaning on it heavily, and took Jayce's hand into his free hand and led Jayce into his bedroom. It was a small bedroom with just a bed and a desk, but it was clean and cozy. The bed was adorned with muted brown sheets, and the walls were a bright lime green. The colors clashed, but in a way Jayce would only describe as groovy. 

Viktor led Jayce to the bed, put his hand on Jayce's chest, and pushed him down onto the bed with a considerable amount of force. Jayce was in a state of shock and arousal that he barely even noticed Viktor walking over to his desk, setting his cane against it, and popping a pill whose identity was a mystery to Jayce. Viktor let out a noticeable sigh after this and walked back over towards Jayce on the bed. 

Jayce hadn’t been around drugs much, but they seemed to be either prescription or another type of pill that one could easily acquire. Luckily, Jayce intended this to be a one-time thing, so he didn’t really care what the other man did with his life. Drugs or not from the other man, it didn’t change what Jayce was about to do… what he was about to confirm about himself and become. 

While Viktor was at his desk, Jayce had sat up to see what he was doing, so when Viktor came back over, he had to push him down on the bed once again. This time, with the whole force of his body, as the other man crawled on top of him. Once on top of Jayce, Viktor leaned down and began kissing him once again. 

This time, the kisses were much slower, but no less dirty. Viktor took the lead, slowly grazing Jayce's mouth with his tongue, inviting the other man to join in. Jayce returned the gesture with enthusiasm. They lay there kissing for a while, Viktor clearly noticing that Jayce needed to take things slower, as this was all new to him. 

However, soon Viktor’s hands began to wander, testing the waters of what Jayce would enjoy and allow him to do. Viktor’s hands began to work over Jayce’s chest over his shirt, grabbing at his pecks and squeezing them with a hungry desire. Jayce moaned at this, never having experienced being treated this way. 

Soon, his hands untucked Jayce’s shirt and began exploring underneath the fabric. Every touch of Viktor's hand to Jayce’s bare skin sent jolts of electricity throughout his body where he was touched. Jayce was in a state of pure bliss he had never felt before. Viktor’s slender fingers brushed against Jayce’s nipple, and a sharp inhalation of pleasure echoed through the room. 

Viktor took this as a sign he was doing something right and began to slowly remove Jaye’s shirt from over his head. Jayce raised his arms over his head to allow Viktor easy access for the removal. Once his shirt was off, Jayce began to feel incredibly vulnerable, but this was quickly snuffed out when Viktor latched his mouth onto the side of Jayce’s neck. This drew a soft moan out of Jayce, which only encouraged Viktor even more. 

As Viktor began sucking a mark onto Jayce’s neck, he also started to rock his hips into Jayce’s own. Jayce felt a large, hard bulge inside Viktor’s pants that rubbed against his own, and it felt so good that any thought about how queer this was left his mind. Jayce wanted nothing more than to feel more and more of whatever this was. 

The men continued to grind against one another, exchanging grunts and moans. Both still fully clothed from the waist down, their pants were straining with the growths inside of them. Jayce looked down to see that his own pants were tented so high he was mildly embarrassed. 

Once Viktor had sucked multiple hickeys into Jayce’s lower neck, near his collarbone, he began to move down Jayce’s torso. Viktor peppered kisses all across Jayce’s chest, leaving marks with every kiss. 

Viktor began licking Jayce’s nipples, and this drew a sharp moan from deep inside him. Jayce began to whine in arousal with a need for more contact. Viktor circled Jayce’s nipple with his tongue before lightly nipping at it with his teeth. Jayce yelped in pleasure and bucked his hips up searching for more friction. 

Jayce needed more. “Please, Viktor,” Jayce whined. 

“What do you want, pretty boy?” Viktor said as he trailed his finger down Jayce’s torso, ending with hooking his pointer finger within Jayce’s waistband. 

“Oh gods, anything please.” He whined. Jayce wanted to be embarrassed because of how desperate he sounded, but he was enjoying himself way too much to care. Much more than he had ever enjoyed himself before. 

Viktor began to trace the outline of Jayce’s hard dick with his finger, teasing him. “You are going to have to be more specific than that,” Viktor said as he began palming Jayce’s dick through his pants. Jayce began to groan in pleasure at the touches Viktor was doting on him. 

“Can you please-” Jayce said out of breath, too scared to say the final sentence. Scared of the line he was about to cross. 

“Please, what? Be a good boy and use your words for me.” Viktor ordered. 

Jayce was left speechless at what Viktor just said to him. Jayce inhaled slowly, attempting to regain his composure. “Can you please suck my dick?” he said, looking down at Viktor between his legs. The sight was enough to make precum start to leak from the tip of his dick and through his pants. A wet spot was starting to grow, and it was clear Viktor had noticed. 

“Good boy, now that wasn’t so hard.” Viktor smiled and began to undo Jayce’s belt buckle and unbutton his pants. 

Every time Viktor called Jayce a good boy, a jolt of pleasure shot through him from his dick straight to his head. He had never been called a good boy before. He had never been in this position before, but his body was responding in turn. He was enjoying himself more than he ever had before. Jayce wanted Viktor to call him it more. He wanted the other man to continue to do all of the dirty things he's been doing to him and more. 

Viktor pulled down Jayce’s pants, then his underwear. Jayce’s dick finally sprang free from the confines of the fabric and lay hard against his abdomen. Jayce lay on the bed completely naked while Viktor lay between his legs fully clothed, a clear power imbalance between the two men. Jayce reveled in the sight of Viktors blown pupils as he stared at Jayce's hard dick with an intense hunger. Jayce finally worked up the nerve to make eye contact with Viktor, and with that, the smaller man smirked up at Jayce. 

Viktor positioned his head directly in between Jayce’s legs, eye level with the other man's dick. He pressed his tongue to the shaft and began to lick up towards the tip. Jayce moaned and arched his back at the sudden onset of pleasure. 

“Fuck,” Jayce drawled out. 

Viktor continued to lick up and down the shaft of Jayce’s dick, drawing moans out of the other man. Viktor finally teased the tip of Jayce’s dick with his tongue, licking the precum dripping down. He slowly inched the tip of the dick into his mouth, circling it with his tongue. Jayce had never felt such pleasure before. 

Viktor began to go deeper, going down onto Jayce’s dick with eagerness. Viktor went as deep as he could, the tip of Jayce’s dick hitting the back of his throat. Jayce could feel the pressure of his tongue and throat on his dick, and it felt amazing. Every time Viktor bobbed his head up and down, Jayce let out a disasterously dirty moan. He was helpless underneath the man before him. 

Viktor began to bob his head up and down faster, building up to a pace that had Jayce reeling. With one of his hands, he grabbed Jayce’s shaft and began jerking off the little bit of Jayce left that was not able to fit into his mouth. Jayce let out moan after moan of pleasure as the pressure started to build in his abdomen. 

“Fuck Viktor- I’m getting close.” Jayce moaned again. At this, Viktor began applying more pressure to the shaft with his tongue as he sucking in and out. The pressure in Jayce’s abdomen continued to build, and it was close to spilling over. 

“I'm gonna- Fuck-” He said with a gasp. Viktor promptly pulled off of Jayce and began to jerk Jayce off through his orgasm. Jayce came harder than he had ever cum before, and spewed all over Viktor's hands. 

“Good boy, Jayce. You did so well for me.” Viktor said, coaxing another moan out of Jayce. 

This statement sent another wave of pleasure shooting through him, and he shot one more string of cum all over his abdomen and Viktor’s hands. Viktor continued to work his dick through his orgasm before Jayce was writhing underneath him in overstimulation. 

Viktor removed his hand and grabbed a towel from his bedside table, and cleaned Jayce and himself up. Jayce felt embarrassed at being taken care of, but he was still too tired after cumming to get up and protest. 

Jayce lay there in post orgasmic bliss before the weight of what just happened came crashing down onto him. It was like a punch to the gut. Jayce was not a queer, and he certainly did not sleep with men. If he left soon, he could still call himself straight, he reasoned that Viktor could have just been another mouth. Jayce was pent up and needed a release. Viktor was there and gave him what he needed. Nothing queer about that. 

“I see you enjoyed yourself,” Viktor said with a smirk, looking down at Jayce. Jayce feigned a smile and began to come up with a plan to leave. 

“Don’t worry. So did I,” Viktor assured, smirking devilishly. He then stood up and showed Jayce his wet, cum filled pants. Fuck. Viktor came in his pants because he was sucking Jayce’s dick. If that wasn’t the hottest thing he had ever seen, Jayce didn’t know what was. This new information threw a wrench in his panicked thought pattern. He began to think about what it would be like to make Viktor cum himself. To touch the other man. 

Jayce quickly shut down this line of thought and decided he needed to leave as soon as possible. 

“I am going to go to the bathroom and clean myself up,” Viktor said in what seemed to be a blissful haze. His accent thick with exhaust, lust, and something else Jayce could not place. 

Viktor grabbed his cane and walked out of the room towards a door that must have been the bathroom. Once he was inside, Jayce began to quickly get dressed in a panicked state. Before Viktor could return, Jayce had already slipped out the front door and sped-walked down the street into the dark night. He didn’t know where he was, but he did not care. He wanted to pretend like this night never happened and never see the other man again. 

***

Not long after, September rolled around, and it was time for Jayce to start at Piltover Academy. He had been accepted into the graduate school last fall for the Mechanical Engineering PhD program. He had worked his ass off in undergrad to get to this point, and he would let nothing ruin this for him. 

Pilotover Academy was a small, private, prestigious university in Piltover that brought students from all around the world to their engineering programs. Their graduate programs were especially well known for creating brilliant inventors who soon went on to change science. In this growing age, Jayce was honored to have been selected for the mechanical engineering program. He may not be able to start with it now, but he knew that the introduction of the computer and computer simulations was going to be revolutionary for his work. 

Sadly, due to recent budget cuts at the university, graduate student housing funding had been cut back. When Jayce had applied to the university, they were offering single graduate apartments for students, but now they were only offering suite-style dorms with a shared bedroom and an offshoot kitchen. He would now have to share a bedroom with a complete stranger. How was he supposed to thrive and create when someone else was going to be snoring on the other side of the room? It just wasn’t fair, but Jayce knew he had to deal. The prestige of the university was worth it the few years of misery he would have to endure to get his PhD. After that, he was free. 

Jayce arrived at the school by taxi with his few boxes in the trunk. He didn’t have much, as he was lucky to be here on scholarship. He and his Mamá got by, but barely. He wanted to use his time here in order to change things for the better. 

Jayce began the trek to the housing office to pick up his dorm key and room assignment. The air had begun to cool into an autumn chill, but it was still too early for it to be cool enough to be comfortable in what he was wearing. Jayce was wearing a brown suit jacket, brown slacks, a brown tie, and a white button-down. He knows it was simple, but it was as much as he could afford and the standard dress for engineering program students. 

Once he got his room key, he headed towards the graduate student residential buildings. Room 303. Fuck. He was on the third floor and did not want to lug all of his boxes and suitcase up to that room, but he had no choice. He was anxious to move in. He was starting a whole new phase of his life, and it was quite nerve-racking. 

Jayce finally arrived at the room and opened up the door to find a room with two beds on either side of the room, two desks, two dressers with closet doors, a bathroom, and a small hallway that led to a kitchenette. Nobody else was in the room yet, to Jayce’s relief. 

He unpacked all of his things while he waited for his roommate to arrive. He picked the left side of the room and unloaded his clothes into the closet and drawers. He hung up his suit jackets, blazers, and other nice, class-ready clothes. From one of the boxes, he unpacked his desk decorations, which included a picture of him and his mother, a calculator, as well as a desk set that his mother got him to work on his calculations in the dorm. 

He shoved his textbooks into the desk drawers and began to make his bed. The longer he was alone in the room with no sign of his roommate, the more anxious he got. He didn’t want to end up having to meet him too late in the day. 

Jayce sat on the bed and read a book for a while, but still no luck, so he decided to go out on a run. A run always helped clear his head and quell his anxiety. He got changed into his athletic clothes and began his run around campus. He wanted to explore the layout before the first day of class. He did not want to take the chance of being lost and late to class in the first week. 

Jayce returned to his room after his run to find boxes strewn across the other side of the room. Some are in a state of unpacked, and others are shoved under the bed for later. It looks as if his roommate has arrived and started to settle in, but the other man was nowhere in sight. 

Not wanting to get his furniture dirty, Jayce began to undress to get ready for the shower. He removed his sweaty shirt and began searching through his drawers for where he had packed away his towel. Once he grabbed the towel, Jayce went to enter the bathroom, but the door was locked. It seemed as if his roommate had been in the bathroom the whole time. Jayce sat down at his desk and waited for the other man to emerge so he could get a shower. 

After a few minutes, the mystery roommate emerged from the bathroom, but immediately froze in the doorway. Jayce looked up and was met with a face he hoped he would never see again. It was Viktor from the gay bar. The man who had sucked his dick and made him cum harder than anything he had ever experienced. The man who made him feel so right for the first time, but also so very wrong at the same time. 

Jayce’s eyes went wide with fear the instant the two men made eye contact. Viktor's eyes were equally wide, and they both stood frozen in place for what felt like hours. Viktor finally broke the silence. 

“So… It seems as if we are roommates. What is a pretty boy like you doing at a school like this?” Viktor smiled and attempted to break the ice by flirting. However, this was the worst possible thing he could have done to Jayce. Jayce wanted nothing more than to forget about anything queer and that mistaken night at Viktor's apartment. 

Jayce knew he never should have gone to that gay bar. Sure, he was curious, but he was in no way queer, and he was quite sure about that. He knew something like this would happen if he went there, and just his luck, he shared a room with the guy who sucked his soul out of his dick. 

Jayce clears his throat, trying to ignore the flirtatious tone in Viktor's voice. “Umm, I’m a mechanical engineering PhD student here,” he said matter-of-factly, avoiding eye contact with Viktor. 

“Aww, what's the matter, handsome? You're all shy now that we’re in a different setting. Don’t worry, your secrets are safe with me. We could even have some fun again soon if you'd like. I'm also a first-year PhD student in chemical engineering, so it seems we will be spending a lot of time together.” Viktor smiled and walked over to Jayce’s side of the room. 

“Don't call me that,” Jayce said forcefully, still avoiding eye contact. 

“What?” Viktor asked, confused. 

“Handsome, you have no business calling me such things. I’m not a queer, so you better back off now.” Jayce looked Viktor in the eye. “I don’t know what you remember, but whatever signals you got are wrong. I’m straight. That night was a mistake, and I’d rather we move on from it and forget about it completely.” Jayce was sounding forceful, but inside, he was breaking into a million little pieces trying to keep his composure. He was so scared of anyone finding out his deepest secret. 

Viktor’s face instantly fell, and Jayce felt guilty for being the one to cause it. “Ah, I see.” This was all Viktor said before walking back over to his side of the room and sitting down at his desk with his back towards Jayce. 

“Listen, I don’t want things to be awkward. I just wanted to set the record straight,” said Jayce. 

“Yes, I think you've made yourself quite clear,” Viktor said curtly, keeping his back turned from the other man. 

“I’m sorry if I offended you,” Jayce said, trying to get Viktor to talk more, but with no luck. 

“You are the least of my concerns right now, Jayce. I have readings to start before class tomorrow. Please leave me to myself.” Viktor dismissed Jayce and opened a textbook and a subsequent notebook, and began taking notes and performing calculations. 

Jayce wanted to walk over to see what he was working on. He always had a fascination with others work and how others minds worked. Especially minds as brilliant as Viktor seemed. However, he seemed to have ruined any chance he had of friendship with the other man already. 

This was going to be a very long year, thought Jayce. 

Chapter Text

My belly is a-cravin', I got a shakin' in my head,

I feel like I'm dying, and I wish I was dead.

If I live 'til tomorrow, that'll be a long time,

But I'll real and I'll fall and I'll rise on cod'ine,

And it's reel, and it's real, one more time. 

• “Cod’ine” Buffy Sainte-Marie, 1964

As soon as Viktor got his dorm key and room assignment, he knew this year was going to be rough. His room was on the third floor, with no elevator, due to accessibility accommodations being abysmal. He was going to have to walk up and down those three flights of stairs multiple times a day. So much for low pain days, Viktor thought. 

He took his boxes and suitcase up one by one up the stairs, his leg and back screaming at him. It was a long few trips up and down the stairs, over and over again.  Once he was done, he sat down on his bed before even making it to give himself a break. His leg was aching, and he could barely walk anymore. This day could not get any worse, he thought. However, that thought might just have been taunting the gods themselves. 

He noticed that the left side of the room was already made up and everything was in perfect order, meaning his roommate had already arrived. Unlike Viktor’s mess of strewn boxes all over his side of the room, the stranger on the other side of the room was incredibly neat. Everything was put away in the closet, and not a pen or paper was out of place on his desk. This gave Viktor hope that living with this other man should not be too difficult. 

Eventually, Viktor had rested enough that he was able to get up and walk to the bathroom. He wanted to freshen up before meeting his new roommate, not wanting to make a bad first impression. If he was going to be living with the stranger for the next year, he might as well make friends with the other man. 

While in the bathroom, he hears the hallway door open and close. His roommate seems to have arrived. Viktor waited a few minutes to give his new roommate time to settle in after getting back to the dorm. Viktor heard the room go quiet and decided it was time he emerged from the bathroom and introduced himself to the stranger. 

As Viktor emerged from the bathroom, he was met with the sight of a very attractive shirtless man. Now, don’t get Viktor wrong, he'd be caught dead before openly oogling at a strange man. That was asking to be beaten and outed to the school, losing his position in the program and his scholarship. No, thank you, thought Viktor. 

However, Viktor soon recognized the muscled torso in front of him, and he froze in his place, standing in the doorway. The other man looked up, and his eyes went wide. They stood there in silence for minutes, not wanting to break the silence of what both men had just realized. 

It was the same man he had just taken home from the gay bar a few weeks ago. Now, Viktor was no stranger to taking men to his bed, but he almost never saw them outside of the night they slept together, other than at the bar again, but they were always talking to other men. 

However, Viktor was just as delighted as he was surprised. This man, Jayce, was a fine specimen of a man, and Viktor would be kidding himself if he said he hadn’t been dreaming of picking up their previous exploits. The man made him cum in his pants just from the taste of his dick and the sounds he made from Viktor giving him head. That was an occurrence that was rarely granted to Viktor in his exploits, finding men at the bar to sleep with. 

Jayce was good in bed, and Viktor wanted more of him. Viktor tried breaking the silence with a few flirtations and mentions of the other night, but Jayce shut him down just as quickly. 

“I'm not a queer,” Jayce said. Those words left ringing in Viktor's ears. Not only was this man so deep in the closet he had found Narnia, but he was also willing to act hostile towards Viktor to maintain his image. The way Jayce said the word ‘queer’ was with a mouth of poison. This put Viktor off, and he began to shut down. Viktor was not open about his sexuality, but he was not ashamed of himself. He had a good time the other night, and the way Jayce dismissed what they shared left a sour taste in his mouth. 

Viktor closed himself off as soon as Jayce made those comments. Viktor realized there was not going to be any breakthrough with the other man. Jayce was a broken closet case, and Viktor could not take that onto his already growing load of problems. He was hurt by what Jayce said, but couldn’t let it show for fear of what the other man might do to him if he broached the subject again. 

Viktor turned around and sat down at his desk with his back to Jayce. Jayce attempted to break the awkwardness and tension in the air, but Viktor would not have any of it. Viktor would not be treated as less than for what they had done, and he certainly would not be treated like this by someone with whom he is supposed to live for the next year. 

Viktor went quiet and began to work on preparations for class tomorrow. Jayce attempted to talk with him again, but Viktor quickly shut that down. Viktor would play nicely, but he decided he would not make any effort to be friends with Jayce. Viktor was filled with regret over what happened the other night, as well as his decision to abandon his apartment and move into student housing to save money. Angrily, Viktor reached into his desk drawer and grabbed a pill that would calm him down and help with his pain. He took it dry, as usual, and waited for it to kick in so his brain would go quiet and he could head to bed. This was going to be a long and hard year. 

***

Viktor woke up to angry muscles, pain shooting down his leg and spine, and a craving for sweet relief. It didn’t used to be this bad, but over the years it just keeps getting worse.

As a child, his disabled leg tended to hinder him physically when it came to playing with other kids. However, over the years, it seems as though he has a degenerative disorder. The doctors do not know what is wrong with him; all they know is he is royally fucked. He is doomed to a life of worsening pain.

He described this to the doctor, and that's when they prescribed him the pills. Those sweet, sweet pills of relief. The first time he took one it was like he began to see the world in color again. He was able to walk with little pain and stand up a bit straighter. People around him even noted that he seemed in a better mood. 

However, it came at a cost. Without them, Viktor cannot function. He can’t tell when his pain stops and the need for the pills ends. They are so helpful with the pain, but is that truly the case, or is it just his brain taking the dopamine hit of finally feeling the relief of the itching feeling of needing another dose? 

At first, they did not want to prescribe him the pills due to their high caution of opioid medication, but Viktor’s continuously worsening pain presented a complex case. Once the doctors started him on those pills, there was no turning back. They told him they were perfectly safe, albeit slightly addictive, but Viktor knew all too well that doctors lied. Lied about his prognosis. Lied about his future. Lied about everything. But, it still seemed as if Viktor could not muster up enough energy to care because the pills helped, and that was that.

As he slowly became more lucid, Viktor rubbed the sleep from his eyes and forced his body over to his bedside table to search for what he needed, what he craved. He rummaged around empty pill bottles for a few seconds before finding the most recent prescription and taking his medication. He lay back down in bed and waited for the pain to subside and the itch of the addiction to be scratched. 

As he lay there, he looked over to Jayce's bed and noticed it was empty. Strange, he thought. It was quite early in the morning, and no classes started for another hour and a half by the time the clock on Viktor’s desk was giving. He would like to say that he didn’t care what Jayce was doing, but he couldn’t help but be a little curious. Perhaps he snuck out last night and had another one of his nightly tirades with another man, only to deny it again the next day. However, this was none of Viktor’s business. Jayce had made that quite clear when they spoke last night, and Viktor wanted nothing to do with a man who would treat him as less than for knowing how he existed. 

Jayce could be a closet case all he wanted, but denying what he and Viktor had shared had hurt. It was very rare to find a man in a time like this who shared his desires, even in back-alley gay bars. Jayce had been so perfect, and for him to go stomping all over what had happened left a sour taste in Viktor's mouth. 

Viktor decided he'd rather take the pain of getting ready before the opioids kicked in, rather than lying here with the chance that Jayce might return while Viktor was still in the room. The bed creaked as he got up, his joints popping, and his back refusing to straighten properly for him to stretch out. It was going to be one of those days, it seemed. He grabbed his cane from beside his bed and hoisted himself to a standing position. His leg was screaming at him, but he was on a mission. 

He moved to the bathroom and began taming his bedhead and brushing his teeth. This was his first day of class in graduate school he needed to make a good first impression. He opened up his closet and picked out his best-fitted dress pants, a well-tailored button-down shirt, and a waistcoat that fit his slender form perfectly. He adorned a tie with the university's emblem on it and headed out of the room. 

He walked through the door and headed down the hallway towards the stairs. Fuck. He tried yesterday to forget that he lived on the third floor, but the reality was hitting him again like a bull running at full speed. Bringing his stuff up to his dorm yesterday was incredibly difficult. There were no accessible elevators or handles on the stairs, even. Every step up the stairs with his cane and a box in the other hand was incredibly slow and painful. Yet, no one offered to help, not that Viktor would have accepted it, but no one really wanted to talk to the cripple. 

He knew how he was seen by society. He could see the eyes glance down at his cane and his limp as he walked down the street. Sometimes he felt as if he were a zoo animal. It was incredibly annoying. Society stared at him and his disability, yet they did nothing to accommodate him so he could function like a normal person. No mandatory elevators in each building, no ramps, nothing that would aid in the mobility of those disabled. Viktor knew it wasn’t fair, and had little hope that things would change based on how people treated him now. 

As he began walking to class, the mild euphoria of the pills started to kick in as well as the pain management. His walk became a lot more manageable after that, and he blissfully walked down the sidewalks across campus. He wished that the pills took all the pain away, and they used to, but nowadays there was still a dull ache in his leg and spine. 

Viktor arrived at the building for his first class and looked down at his schedule to see room 412. Just his luck, it would be on the fourth floor. He walked into the lecture building in search of an elevator, but no luck. He would have to climb the stairs once again. Once again, accessibility options were nonexistent. He was so tired of all of this shit. He began his trek up the stairs with his cane as his only aid, and quickly realized he was most likely going to be late to class because of this. He really needed to talk to the Dean about doing something. He would obviously be leaving earlier in the future, but that would still not take away the pain the climb to the top floor cost him. 

Once he made it to the top, his leg was aching extremely badly. He walked into class late with a noticeable limp, drawing even more attention to his cane. The men in the class stared at him as the professor continued taking attendance. 

“Ah, you must be Viktor Hornik. The last person on my list. Please come in and have a seat. I do not tolerate lateness, so do not make this a habit,” said the small professor who had a mustache that seemed to be too big for his face. 

Viktor preferred to sit in the front, but due to being very engaged in his classes, he took a seat in the back so as not to draw more attention to himself today. 

“As I was saying, I am Professor Heimerdinger. I teach multiple classes across the engineering programs, and I am the Dean of the school. However, above all else, I am a mentor and an inventor. I look for bright minds within my students who have much potential to do grand things for this world. I hope that all of you put in the work to show that you will one day change the world. I see great things in the eyes of the men before me,” said the small man, Professor Heimerdinger. So this is the Dean that Viktor needs to talk to, as well as show him he is worth putting funding into for Viktor’s own research. 

Professor Heimerdinger continued, “and to make sure you are all in the correct class, this is Engineering 509: Transport Phenomena. I know you are all graduate students, so you must be capable of completing this class, but I want to remind you that this is a highly mathematically heavy class. Do not expect an easy A.” 

Multiple men in the room began to look down at their desks and avoid eye contact with the professor. Viktor had to chuckle at this, as it was no problem for him. He was surprised anyone would take this class and not be prepared to do wonderful calculations. Viktor loved doing math, and even though these new calculators were beginning to emerge, he still preferred to write out all of his calculations by hand on a chalkboard or through notes scrawled across his desk. If he did that, he could feel the math. He could feel what was wrong, what needed changing, and what new ideas might work to finally make the calculations complete. Viktor was quite excited about the math he would be doing for this course. 

“The concepts in this class will not be a simple intro to physics, so you boys must be prepared. Over the course of the semester, we will discuss topics such as the transfer of momentum, heat, and mass, moving away from just classifying equipment toward understanding the governing physics.” Heimerdinger droned on about the class at hand, and Viktor listened with eager ears. He was excited to learn, no matter how challenging the material. In fact, for Viktor, the more challenging the better. He liked his mind to be stimulated; if something was too dull, he felt as if it was pointless to even be doing it in the first place. 

For a solid hour, Professor Heimerdinger went over the syllabus, word by word. Viktor would have thought he was teaching preschoolers. Most of the syllabus was self-explanatory, as well as all written out neatly. One could easily read it and get all of the information they needed without taking up this much of class time. They could be actually learning right now, thought Viktor, growing slightly annoyed. 

Professor Heimerdinger continued like this until class was almost over, but before everyone left, he made an announcement. “I would also like to inform you all of the distinguished innovators competition held in Piltover every year, where inventive minds are able to show off their brilliance. It is one of my favorite times of the year to see young minds’ hard work come to fruition. You are not required to attend, and if you do attend, you are not required to submit a project to be displayed and judged, but I do encourage each and every one of you to do so. Mental stimulation is the best medicine for the mind, and a task this big will propel some of you to greatness.” 

Viktors ears perked up, and his eyes lit up with excitement and anticipation. This was exactly what he needed, a project to focus on. He already began to brainstorm in the back of his mind as Heimerdinger continued to talk in the background. He could actually win this and show everybody he was more than just the immigrant cripple. He would show them. He would show them all. 

It would also be a way for him to get away from the dorm most of the time and away from Jayce. He wanted to avoid the man as much as possible, and this would be the perfect excuse. It would be even better if Jayce joined the competition and Viktor could prove he was better than Jayce, despite what ego the other man had, thinking he was above Viktor because he wasn’t “queer.” Well, tell that to his dick that was down Viktors throat just a few weeks ago. 

Viktor was pulled from his thoughts by Heimerdinger's ending class. “Alright, I will see you all on Wednesday! Have a wonderful day and never be afraid to change the world!” And with that, he bade them ado and left the room. Viktor packed up his stuff, and with a new excitement over the possibility of competing in the innovators competition, he got up and headed out of the classroom to find his assigned lab. 

He walked over to the laboratory buildings to find, yet again, no elevator. He was used to it, but god damn, the pain never ends. He walked up the stairs to his lab to find the room already occupied. 

“Hello, can I help you-” Viktor started, then realized who was sitting hunched over at a desk in the corner when the other man turned around in surprise at the sound of another person in the room. It was Jayce. His roommate Jayce. The man whose dick he sucked, Jayce. “Jayce, what are you doing here? This is my lab space.” Viktor demanded, exacerbated at seeing the man in another space that was meant to be a sanctuary for him. 

“This is my assigned lab too,” Jayce responded matter-of-factly. “You did know that Graduate students shared a lab partner, right?” Jayce asked as if Viktor were an imbecile. 

“Of course, I knew that, I just didn’t expect you to be the one assigned as my partner. Everywhere I go, it's always you, you, you. I’m tired of it at this point.” Viktor said, raising his voice slightly at the sheer shock of this whole situation. 

“Hey, take it easy,” Jayce said, lowering his voice. “What did I do to you that got your panties in a twist?” he asked with a sneer. 

“What did you do to me? What the fuck. First, was that a fucking joke at my queerness because if it was, we are going to have even more serious problems, and second, do you not remember our encounter last night?” Viktor was becoming enraged at this point. How dare he comment on Viktor's queerness while denying his own and expecting Viktor to act normally about it? 

“No, that wasn’t a fucking comment about your queerness- what are you talking about. I was just making a statement about your sour attitude. You do you know we can act civilly, right? It’s not that hard.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry, I’m not the one who completely shut me down and pretended what we did a few weeks ago never happened,” Viktor said, exasperated. 

“Viktor, I’m sorry if you have feelings for me, but that was just a one-time thing. An experiment. We talked about this. I’m not queer, and you need to get over that. We both do if we are supposed to live and work together. It can’t be that bad. How about a truce? We don’t talk about that night, and we meet again today?” Jayce extended an olive branch. 

Viktor contemplated Jayce’s offer. He did not like it, but he saw no way around it, as there were no other options that led to a smooth year of research and living arrangements. “Fine,” Viktor said with a bitter tone. 

“Ok, good. Hi, I’m Jayce Talis. I am a mechanical engineering PhD student here to do research and earn my degree. I have a passion, one I assume we share, for creating things. Now it's your turn.” Jayce ended. 

Begrudgingly, Viktor responded, “I am Viktor Hornik, chemical engineering major.” 

“Short and sweet, that works too”, Jayce said, trying to lighten the mood. 

“Yes, I suppose,” Viktor said before heading over to the empty desk and unloading his textbooks and notes to get started on his lab work. He sat down to begin, but all he could think about was Jayce. The man was so confusing. One moment, he would insult him over his hidden sexuality, deny his own, then the next, he would extend a friendly olive branch and want to work together. Viktor couldn’t tell what Jayce’s intentions were, and it frightened him. 

Viktor had to admit, he was still attracted to the man. He was tall, handsome, and had a body any man of his disposition would dream of getting his hands on. However, Jayce had made it quite clear that nothing else would happen between them. This left Viktor disappointed, but honestly, he was just glad Jayce did not resort to violence when confronted with Viktor in the dorm. If Jayce wanted to play nice and pretend that nothing happened, Viktor supposed that he could abide by those rules. The last thing he needed to do was to make a major enemy of someone who could out him to the university and get him kicked out. 

Viktor slumped down into his desk, not knowing how to feel at the moment. All he knew was that whatever had just happened was too much. Everything today had been too much. The walking, the stairs, Jayce. He reached down into his bag and rummaged through the bottom until he found one of his pill bottles. He took 2 discreetly, hoping Jayce would not notice. He needed something to take the edge off the day and to help his mind prepare to start flowing with ideas. 

He soon felt a light euphoria settle in as he looked down at his first homework assignment and began working through the calculations with his textbook beside him, working in complete silence with Jayce at the other desk next to him, respectfully trying to ignore the other man. 

Hours passed, and it began to get dark. Both Jayce and Viktor had worked the entire time, only taking breaks for the bathroom. Viktor wondered what Jayce was working on, but did not want to open up a conversation by asking. He could exist civilly with his lab partner and roommate, but that does not mean he had to initiate a friendly conversation. 

Viktor began to feel exceedingly tired as the sedative effect of his pills continued to take effect. As the hours passed, it began to feel increasingly hard to fight off the exhaustion; luckily, Viktor had another solution for that. He reached down into another pocket of his bag and pulled out an unmarked baggie of pills. It was a bag of Oetrol Viktor had acquired one night at a gay bar, from a man he had a rather boring, quick bathroom fuck with, for nights when he wanted to stay awake after long days. 

Viktor looked over at Jayce, who was deep in his work, to make sure he was not looking over at Viktor. Once he confirmed the other man was distracted, Viktor took one of the pills and got up to get a glass of water to wake himself up more until the drug kicked in. The cocktail running in his system made for a strange mindset, one might describe as a maddened genius. 

The men continued to work in silence for another half hour before Jayce suddenly jumped up from his chair and grabbed his blazer, throwing it on. “Alright, I’m done for the night. My brain feels like mush. See you later tonight, don’t stay too late, its only the first night after all.” Jayce said with a smile. 

Viktor looked at Jayce with annoyance in his eyes at being interrupted. “Goodbye, Jayce,” He said, trying to sound polite, but he could tell he failed. 

“Ok then, good night, Viktor.” Jayce awkwardly squeeked out before almost running out of the lab to do god knows what. 

Viktor stays at the lab for the next few hours, wanting to get an early start on his innovator's competition ideas. As a chemical engineer, he is used to thinking about flowcharts, chemical reactions, and how materials and energy can be in balance within a reaction. Some things that always interested him were focusing on increasing the yield, reducing waste, and controlling reaction speed. He wanted to create something that would be beneficial to the greater good. 

One idea he began to throw around in his notes was a new separation process for plastics. He knew that the current methods were environmentally abysmal, and he wanted to help make a change to better the environment. He frantically scribbled down his notes, like a madman, ideas about how to create a greater yield from separating the plastics by consuming less energy and producing less waste. 

Viktor stayed at the lab for the next hour, making near-unreadable marks in an engineering notebook. His brain was moving faster than his hand was able to write. However, in a moment of clarity, Viktor realized what time it was. It was nearly midnight, and he had an early class the next morning. He would of course stay later on days later on in the semester, but Jayce was right, as much as Viktor hated to admit it. It was the first day, and he did not need to push himself this much already. 

Viktor also began to regret taking the amphetamine tonight, like he always does a few hours later. His brain had become hazy again, as it always did after the stimulant high, and everything from the lights to the sound of the ceiling fans in the lab was becoming overstimulating. Viktor knew it was time to pack up and head back to his dorm. Even if it meant possibly making small talk with Jayce. Viktor hoped, if he was lucky, Jayce would already be asleep in bed, and Viktor could sneak in and sleep off the state he was in. 

He always went through this cycle. The euphoria of the high, the crash, and the need for more after. He knew it was getting worse, but he had shit to get done. Now was not the time to address a minor drug problem. Viktor felt ashamed, yes, but he knew this would allow him to achieve greatness. It was always worth it. 

Viktor packed up his bag and headed out of the lab and down the stairs towards the doors that led outside. His walk back to his dorm was less than pleasurable. Despite the opioids still in his system, his leg and back ached incredibly badly due to all of the walking and climbing he had to do that day. 

Viktor had already come to terms with the fact that this was how every day might go if he were to stay here and finish with his plans of graduation. Viktor was not a quitter, and he would not let his stupid pain dictate what he could and couldn’t do with his life. He felt that if he did, everyone was right. He thought that if he gave up, he really was nothing but a cripple that could never succeed, and he would never let those who looked down on him be right. 

Viktor trekked up the three flights of stairs to his dorm room and finally opened the door, completely exhausted. He expected to find Jayce in bed and asleep, but he found he had returned to an empty room, to Viktors pleasure. 

Viktor began to undress his school clothes and put on more comfy sleepwear. He headed to the bathroom and brushed his teeth. He was sitting down on the toilet while he did this due to his leg wanting to give out on him every five minutes, cane or not. Once he was done in the bathroom, he headed to his bed and finally lay down. Relief washed through his body as the pressure was taken off his joints and weight was distributed onto the bed. He was still in pain, but this was much more manageable. 

Viktor wanted to go to sleep, but the dark thoughts began to creep in. He knew he couldn’t take anymore pills for the night or he'd be in really bad shape tomorrow, so he didn’t know what to do. All of the guilt over his pill problem and his tiredness of always having to work three times as hard as everyone else just to do the same things came crashing down. He began to feel as if life weren’t worth living. These thoughts always seemed to creep into his mind when he tried to go to bed. Sleep did not come easily to him, and the night was often a scary time. 

Viktor was about to grab a book to attempt to distract himself until he collapsed from exhaustion, but the dorm door burst open, and Jayce waltzed in, covered in sweat and breathing heavy. He was adorned in short running shorts and a tight tank top that matched.  

“What the hell are you doing at this time of night?” Viktor said angrily at the other man for being disturbed so late. 

“I was out for a run. Helps clear my head. I like to stay in shape and keep this sexy physique.” Jayce smiled. “For the ladies, of course.” He added at the end with widened eyes. 

“Mhm, yes, for the ladies, of course,” Viktor said sarcastically and went back to trying to read his book. However, Jayce had other plans of his own. Jayce began to undress in the room in front of Viktor, and his cheeks and ears began to quickly heat up. Jayce was a fine specimen of a man, and Viktor could not help but stare at the man before him, face partially hidden behind his book. The more clothes Jayce took off, the more heat began to pool in Viktor’s abdomen. How was he supposed to live like this for a whole year? 

Once he was fully undressed, he searched for a towel in his state of nakedness, and Viktor’s blush intensified. How could a man have so little decency or shame? 

“Hey, did you see where I put my towels when I unpacked yesterday?” Jayce asked Viktor. 

Looking away and avoiding Jayce’s gaze by hiding behind his book, Viktor responded, “No, I arrived after you remember. I can't help you. Now go put some clothes on, please!” 

“I can’t, I gotta shower, I’m way too sweaty.” 

“Clearly,” Viktor said curtly and turned away from Jayce in his bed. Jayce finally went into their shared bathroom and closed the door, and Viktor could relax. 

However, just when he began to try to fall asleep, he noticed an urgent problem below his waist. He was severely hard. Fuck, Viktor thought. This could not be a worse time. Jayce was currently in the room, and the reason he had a boner was because of the man in question. He couldn’t help it; Jayce was walking around naked and sweaty. It's Viktor’s favorite sight, if he were being honest. 

Viktor began to debate what he was going to do about his problem. He knew logically he should just wait till he wasn’t hard anymore and just go to bed. Jayce would never have to know, and he could move on. But a large part of Viktor wanted to take care of the problem another way. He could not stop thinking about Jayce’s naked chest, his pecks glistening with sweat. He was a well-fit man directly out of one of Viktor’s wet dreams. 

Once he heard the shower turn on, he made his decision. Viktor lay down on his back and pulled his waistband on his pants down just enough to expose his dick, which sprang up and hit his abdomen once it was free from the confines of his clothing. 

Viktor took himself in his hand and began to slowly touch himself. He thought about Jayce breathing heavy, completely sweaty, and ruined. He imagined Jayce begging Viktor to give him more and more. All Viktor could think about was Jayce, Jayce, Jayce. 

Viktor began to speed up his pace when he thought about when he and Jayce first met. The noises Jayce made as Viktor sucked his dick. Viktor imagined Jayce’s dick in his mouth as he touched himself and felt himself getting increasingly close. The heat in his abdomen began to pool and tighten with pleasure. Viktor began to let out small moans and whines, trying to stay quiet, but the pleasure of his touch and thoughts was too much. He was even too distracted by his pleasure to notice that the shower had turned off minutes ago.  

Viktor began to jerk himself off at the same pace as he began to think about touching Jayce instead of himself, like he did when Jayce finally cum on their first meeting. This was enough to push Viktor over the edge. Viktor came into his hand with a choked moan. He tried to cover up, but failed. 

Exhausted from the high of his orgasm, he lay back in bed contemplating what he had just done. He did not regret it in the slightest and finally felt ready to go to sleep. Jayce never had to know, and Viktor could enjoy the other man this way for as long as he wanted when he was alone. It was a compromise he was willing to make if he could not have Jayce himself. 

He quickly grabbed a tissue, cleaned himself up, and tucked himself back into his pants. He turned over and got comfy in his bed and began to fall asleep. In his half-asleep daze, he faintly heard Jayce enter the room again and quietly get ready for bed. Viktor drifted off to sleep with a smile and dreams of a muscular man lying next to him, holding him tight. Viktor slept quite soundly that night. 

Chapter Text

… Would you believe in a love at first sight?

Yes, I'm certain that it happens all the time

What do you see when you turn out the light?

I can't tell you, but I know it's mine

… Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Mm, get high with a little help from my friends

Oh, I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends

• “With a Little Help from My Friends” by The Beatles, 1967

Jayce returned from his late-night run exhausted and sweaty. He was ready for a shower and then to hit the bed. He walked into the room to find Viktor already in bed, but reading, not asleep. Strange for the time of night, but who is Jayce to judge? He just went on a run at this time of night. 

Jayce began to get undressed in the middle of the room. He has never been shy about his body, and has been in plenty of locker rooms with other men in various states of undress. Jayce doesn’t see anything wrong with undressing in front of someone he is going to be living with for the next year, so he might as well establish the precedent that he does not care. It also secretly helps that even though Jayce isn’t gay, Viktor has technically seen him naked before, so this is no big deal. 

However, Jayce ran into an issue and couldn’t find his towel. He asked Viktor about it and looked over, but Viktor gave a curt answer and was hiding behind his book completely. Ok, so maybe getting completely naked in front of a man he knew was gay wasn’t the best idea. He hadn’t even asked Viktor about their boundaries. He silently chastised himself for this as he found his towel and headed to the bathroom. 

He runs the warm water and steps into the shower, reveling in the warmth rushing over his burning muscles. As he washed his body, he began to think back on the events of the day. It would be just his luck to end up being lab partners and roommates with the biggest mistake he had ever made. Jayce was not only mortified but also annoyed. 

However, Jayce wanted to continue to act as civil and kind as possible, as he had been trying to do since they moved in together. Viktor may have been a sexual mistake for Jayce, a very embarrassing and compromising one at that, but he was still a person who deserved his respect. Viktor being gay wasn’t Jayce’s favorite thing, but he could live with it and respect the other man. Jayce didn’t have much room to talk given their history, so he decided to attempt to avoid any talk about queerness going forward. 

Viktor was also clearly a very smart man, Jayce began to think, so perhaps sharing a lab with him may not be the end of the world. Perhaps they will make good partners with time, but that would take a lot of work on both their parts. Work that Jayce was sure Viktor was most definitely not willing to put in after what Jayce had said to him on finding out about their living situation. Jayce regrets how he reacted, but what else was he supposed to say? He wasn’t a queer and had to make that very clear. 

While in the lab, he also noticed Viktor taking a variety of different pills at different times. First was the ones from a pill bottle, so Jayce assumed it was medication for his leg, but the second was just in a baggy. Jayce didn’t want to assume anything poor about the other man, but he couldn’t help but think of the deviancy men like Viktor get involved with. 

Jayce regretted this thought process immediately. He should not be assuming his roommate was a drug addict, and he should not be assuming his roommate was less than Jayce was himself. Jayce’s mother raised him better than that. 

Once he finished in the shower, Jayce turned the water off and began to get ready for bed while still in the bathroom. He threw on his sleepwear and began to brush his teeth when he began to hear small noises outside of the bathroom door. Jayce turned off the sink water to listen more closely. 

He was not sure what he heard from the other side of the door, but as he listened more closely, he heard sounds that sounded like small whimpers and moans. Jayce didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but they sounded slightly sexual in nature. Blushing at the thought of what Viktor may be doing in his bed, Jayce decided to crack the door to the bathroom very quietly to get a look at what was actually happening. He wanted to know if it was safe or not to leave the bathroom, of course, no other reason. 

Once he cracked the door, the sight before his eyes shot butterflies into Jayce's stomach. Jayce found Viktor masturbating sensually, revelling in his own pleasure. Vitktor for sure thought that Jayce was still in the shower, and Jayce did not want to deal with the situation of leaving the bathroom and the awkwardness of interrupting such an intimate act for the other man, especially given their history. 

Jayce knew he should shut the door and give Viktor privacy, but Jayce could not pull his eyes away from the sight before him. He watched from the crack in the doorway as Viktor touched himself, slowly speeding up. The noises Viktor was making started to get louder and more desperate as he clearly was getting on the edge of his orgasm. Every noise Viktor made sent a spark of pleasure straight into Jayce’s abdomen. The noises were purely sexual, and Jayce was enjoying the sight. 

From their last exploit, Jayce never got to see Viktor’s dick, but looking at it now in the low light of just a bedlamp, it looked delicious. Jayce didn’t want to admit it, but this was turning him on increasingly. What man thinks of another man's dick as delicious? Jayce apparently. 

Viktor’s dick was glistening with precum in the low light, and Jayce’s mouth began to water as he watched Viktor finish into his hand with a choked-up moan. It was the most sensual sight that Jayce had ever seen. More than anything he could have imagined in his wildest secret fantasies. 

As soon as Viktor finished, Jayce panicked and quietly shut the door to the bathroom, retreating to sit on the toilet seat and contemplate what he had just done. He looked down, and his dick was as hard as it was the night he and Viktor shared their one-night stand. No one had ever been able to get it up like the other man in question. Jayce sighed, defeated. 

He wasn’t a fucking queer. Ok, maybe he liked to look at men sometimes, maybe he liked how a dick looked, but that was normal. What was not normal was starting at his roommate/lab partner through a crack in the door as Viktor masturbated and made the most sexual noises Jayce had ever heard. 

And Gods, it was so fucking hot. The way Viktor’s dick glowed in the lamplight with glistening precum coming out of the tip. The noises Viktor made should have been illegal. Jayce’s mouth was watering just thinking about it. Fuck. 

How was Jayce supposed to live like this for a year? He could not do this again. This was a one-time thing, he told himself. Ok, maybe a two-time thing technically. It could not happen again under any circumstances. Jayce sat in the bathroom for a few more minutes until his hard-on went down. He waited another few minutes after that just to be sure that Viktor would be completely cleaned up and clothed. 

Once he entered the room again, he could see that Viktor was most likely asleep, curled up in a ball on his own bed. Jayce quietly got ready for bed and crawled under his covers. He tried to go to sleep, but his mind was plaguing him with thoughts about what he had just done and what it meant. 

He really should not have watched Viktor, but he really enjoyed it. He couldn’t look away. The other man was the most attractive person Jayce had ever seen, and knowing how his mouth fit over Jayce's big dick and made him beg to finish was not helping the situation. He began to contemplate everything he had ever known. 

Maybe he was gay. Why else would he “get curious” and go out to a gay bar and end up going home with a guy? Maybe he was one of those queers, and he would never have a successful life ever. He would be stuck pining after his roommate and hiding in the closet for years to come. And by gods, what would his mother think? No, this was not happening. He was straight. He was straight, and he wanted a wife, a kid, a nice house, and a nice life. He was not going to let these stupid mistakes ruin that for him. 

***

Jayce woke up the next morning to his alarm clock situated across the room. He was a heavy sleeper and found that it was the only way he would get himself out of bed in time to make it to class without falling back asleep. However, as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, he saw Viktor look over at him to see if he was awake. When he got confirmation in eye contact with Jayce, Viktor went and turned off the alarm clock. 

Jayce noticed that Viktor was already dressed. Viktor was wearing a white button-down shirt as always, with a brown cardigan over it, and a dark brown bowtie to match. His pants were well-fitted, and Jayce couldn’t help but stare because he thought, and he wished he didn’t, the man looked rather handsome and cute in the cardigan. 

As Viktor limped around the room with his cane, Jayce saw him go over to his bedside table and rummage through the drawer. He pulled out a bottle of pills and took one. He proceeded to stuff the rest of the bottle in his messenger bag and headed out of the door before Jayce was even out of bed. What Viktor had to do so early in the morning was beyond Jayce, but he knew he was not exactly in the best position to ask. 

Jayce glanced at the clock again and realized he had spent way too long watching Viktor get ready to leave. Jayce quickly got up to use the bathroom and brush his teeth. He hastily threw on a plaid tweed blazer over a button-up shirt and brown pants. Today was his first day of this class, and he was determined not to be late. Luckily, he was skilled enough in the art of procrastination that he ended up leaving the dorm right on time. 

He walked quickly to class and found his room with ease. Jayce was quite excited for Advanced Thermodynamics, as he knew it would help him in the development of his project for the innovators competition he was told about in his classes yesterday. This first year, he needed to prove himself before he threw himself into his dissertation work. 

Once Jayce entered the room, he was met with a familiar face already sitting at a desk in the front of the room. The thing is, Jayce always sat at the front of the room. He loved engaging in discussion with the professors, and sitting in the back of the class made that extremely difficult. To make matters worse, the last seat left at the front was next to Viktor, which made him contemplate giving up the front. He was tempted, but Jayce was not going to let Viktor ruin one of his long-standing traditions in class. Jayce even began to think that maybe this class would help them develop a more professional scholarly relationship, as there was a professor to impress and students around to hear their conversations. 

Viktor sat hunched over at the desk with a notebook and his pens placed on the desk as he prepared for class. When Jayce slowly sat down next to the other man, this garnered a reaction out of a cartoon. Viktor looked over at who may be sitting next to him, and his eyes went as wide as Scooby Doos when he saw a ghost. Viktor quickly schooled his face and turned back to the front of the class. 

Jayce decided to break the ice, “Hey, Viktor.”

“Hello, Jayce,” Viktor responded quietly. 

“Didn’t know we’d be sharing any classes, especially since you left so early this morning,” Jayce commented in what he hoped was a pleasant manner. 

 Viktor grimaced, “Well, unlike you, some of us actually have to work to get to class on time. The accessibility options in this world are abysmal.” 

“Shit, sorry,” Jayce said. 

Viktor gave a huff and turned back to his notebook on his desk, and both he and Jayce waited for class to start in awkward silence. 

Professor Heimerdinger entered the classroom and began to introduce himself to his class. He introduced the distinguished innovators competition once again for those who had not heard about it already, and then began to go on a rant about the fundamentals of the class. 

“We will be covering topics ranging from the classical foundations of the mathematics behind the four laws of thermodynamics, phase equilibria, chemical thermodynamics,” Jayce saw Viktor’s ears perk up at this and a smile form on his face, “and exergy analysis. This is not all, but a snapshot of what we will be going over. The entirety of topics we cover will be outlined in the syllabus.” At this, Professor Heimerdinger got out a stack of syllabi from his briefcase and handed them out. Once again, he spent the entirety of class going over every single detail of the syllabus. 

Class finally ended, and Jayce turned to grab his briefcase and noticed that Viktor was already packed up and quickly heading to the door, most likely to head to the lab to get started on whatever he was working on. 

Jayce decided to stay at his desk until everyone left so he could speak with the Professor. Once everyone was gone, Jayce hesitantly approached the professor, anxious over what he was about to ask. 

“Professor Heimerdinger?” Jayce asked, breaking the silence of the empty classroom. 

“Yes, my boy?” the professor responded enthusiastically. 

“I was just wondering if there is any way I could change labs. You see, my lab partner and I do not seem to get along as well as one might hope, and I worry it will hinder both of our work.” Jayce said quickly, feeling guilty for even suggesting he should move away from Viktor just because of his own inner turmoil. 

“You want to switch lab partners? I thought you and Viktor would get along quite well.” Heimerdinger pondered. 

“Well, yes, we did when we first met, you see, there was an incident, and now we are roommates, which complicates things even further. Being roommates and lab partners might just be too much for us, or more specifically, me.” Jayce admitted, trying his best to persuade Heimerdinger. 

“Interesting. It is surprising you have met before coming to this college, since Viktor just recently moved here from Czechoslovakia this past year to pursue graduate education here at Pilotover Academy.” Heimerdinger commented. 

“Ha, yeah.” Jayce said in a panic. “It’s a long story, but we have agreed to be civil and work side by side. I just don’t want our work to suffer.” 

“Jayce, let me give you a bit of advice. When we run away from things that seem challenging, it proves that we are cowards. Do not let whatever happened dispel your relationship with your lab partner,” said the professor. 

“But, Professor-” Jayce started, but was cut off. 

“No buts, Jayce. I will be completely honest, I paired you two as lab partners on purpose, and I stand by that decision. You both have complementary thought patterns that I believe will lead to a flow of ideas and inventions that this school will be known for for years to come. I have seen both of your works. You two will make great partners, I am sure of it.” Heimerdinger insisted 

“Yeah… partners,” Jayce said quietly, as if he was out of breath. He looked shamefully down at the floor. 

“Don’t fret, my boy! I am sure you two will begin to get along in no time. Two bright minds cannot stay away from each other's sparks for too long,” he said with a knowing smile, hoping to see Jayce perk up. 

“Yeah,” Jayce started. “I suppose you’re right. I should give it more time.” 

“Precisely! Now, I am sorry, Jayce, but I must be going. As both a professor and the Dean, I have many responsibilities and work waits for no man. Goodbye, Jayce, and word to the wise, do not let fear dictate your actions.” And with that, the short man shuffled out of the classroom quickly. 

Jayce was left speechless with a lot to think about. He started on his way to the lab, contemplating what Heimerdinger had said. Why had the professor put them together on purpose? What reason could there possibly be for a quiet, grumpy, yet incredibly charming, chemical engineer to be paired with a hopeful mechanical engineer, Jayce began to think. Maybe the professor was right. Maybe their minds could work well together. The night they had intimately shared came to Jayce’s mind, but he quickly scratched that out of his mind. This was purely about science and how their ideas will flow together. 

Come to think of it, He doesn’t really know how Viktor works. He must be a smart man to be accepted here at Piltover Academy, but what would that have to do with Jayce? As Jayce got closer to the lab, he decided to swallow his pride and give what Professor Heimerdinger said some substance. Maybe he and Viktor really could work well together. There was only one way to tell, and that required being more than just civil and existing in the same space. 

Jayce had made up his mind. He would initiate conversation with Viktor, and he would attempt to break through the shell Viktor had put up since their first conversation after meeting at the dorm for the first time after their one-night stand. However, Jayce had no idea what he might say that would help break down those walls and connect with the other man. Luckily, the opportunity would soon present itself. 

Jayce reached the lab and found Viktor standing at the chalkboard, working out calculations by hand. Ignoring the other man while still contemplating how he was going to break the ice, Jayce sat down at his desk and started to work on his homework. 

Jayce tried to focus on his practice problems following the four laws of thermodynamics, but could not keep himself focused on his textbook. His eyes wandered all around the room. He leaned back in his chair and began to look at what Viktor was doing on the board, which seemed to be way more interesting. 

Jayce stared at Viktor for a few minutes, forgetting himself. Viktor was getting visibly more frustrated as time passed on while Jayce looked at him. Viktor seemed to be stuck on a certain equation, the numbers just not adding up. Viktor’s brow was furrowed, and Jayce couldn’t help but think he looked quite cute when he was deep within a problem. When he finally realized he was staring at Viktor and not the math on the board, he chastised himself in his head and began to study the math. That was when Jayce saw it. 

“There’s your mistake,” Jayce said, pointing at the middle of the worked-out equation on the chalkboard. 

Viktor stopped what he was doing and instantly spun around. “What?” 

“You’re mistake, it’s right there within the radical of the equation.” Jayce got up and walked over to the chalkboard and stood next to Viktor. He began to explain where Viktor had messed up. He took a piece of chalk and began to draw on the chalkboard to fix the mistake, and soon he was solving the equation. 

Jayce always got into a flow when he was working out math; he enjoyed the intricacies of the equations and solving ones that would usually make others want to cry. Once he finished the equation, he took a step back and gazed at his work. 

“Excuse me, am I interrupting?” Viktor said, breaking the silence. Jayced turned towards the sound of Viktor's voice. He was met with a furrowed brow that was a mix of annoyance and pure awe. 

“Sorry… I- I just couldn’t help myself, and then I got caught up in the fun of the calculations. Sorry, I'll just-” Jayce stuttered, putting down the chalk and heading back to his desk. He could hear the sound of the silence, Viktor contemplating the solved equation that Jayce had just done. Jayce heard a huff and then more writing on the chalkboard. 

After a few moments, Jayce heard a small “Thank you” come from Viktor’s side of the room. This small gesture was enough to make Jayce smile. Jayce returned to his homework with a new feeling he couldn’t identify. 

About an hour passed in silence with the only sounds being Jayce’s pencil scribbling in his notebook and Viktor scribbling all over the chalkboards that lined the 4 walls of the room. However, the silence was broken by the most pleasant question Jayce could have asked for. 

“Could I get your opinion on something?” Viktor asked. 

Jayce immediately stood up and headed over to where Viktor was standing. “Yeah, of course, what’s the problem?” 

“There is no problem necessarily, it's just that these calculations for the new problem I'm facing are working out until the very end, yet the output of the system is coming out negative, which is scientifically impossible,” Viktor explained. 

“Well, it depends on how you look at it,” Jayce said. 

“What do you mean?” Viktor looked at Jayce, puzzled. 

“Well, you are looking at it from a chemical engineer's perspective when work done on the system is always negative, and the output is always positive. However, if what I am seeing is correct, this specific problem needs to be looked at from a different perspective, a mechanical one. If you run the thermodynamic equations through a mechanical viewpoint, the work done by the system comes out negative, just as you have it. You didn’t have it wrong; you were just looking at it from the wrong angle. Sometimes it helps to have two sets of eyes on things like this.” Jayce smiled and turned to Viktor. 

Viktor was staring at the equations on the board and was clearly reconfiguring how he was going about them. Jayce could see the gears turning in his head. After a few seconds, a small smile began to creep onto Viktor’s face. 

“You’re right, thank you. This is a mechanical problem. I don’t know why I didn’t think of that before. It focuses on the force rather than the balance of flow. It is obvious now that you pointed it out.” Viktor said, shaking his head with a small chuckle.

“You know, if you wanted to make the problem fit a chemical output, you would have to find the balance of mass and heat within the reaction related to the forces acting upon the object.” Jayce theorized. 

“Yes, you are right, perhaps I could look at the flow of the reaction caused by the force applied. That could be a new way to look at things.” Viktor smiled again and began scratching on the chalkboard a whole new diagram. “Thank you, Jayce,” Viktor said once again. This time, Jayce could hear the smile in Viktor’s voice as he walked back to his own desk to sit down and continue his labwork. 

Sadly, Jayce was unable to focus anymore on his own lab work. His brain was too hyper-focused on Viktor and his ideas. Heimerdinger was right, the way they both just bounced back and forth off of each other was like no other person he had ever worked with. The way they saw problems was perfectly complementary to one another. Jayce began to think of different projects they could work on together, given they both had time. Also, given that Viktor would be willing, but Jayce had hope. Two bright minds like theirs can’t keep their heads in their asses for two long, Jayce began to think. Maybe their partnership would be something worthwhile. 

Soon, the windows of the lab had grown dark with the setting sun. The atmosphere in the lab has been quite pleasant compared to the days prior, and Jayce was feeling rather satisfied with the work he had put in today. Jayce yawned and looked over at Viktor, who was now sitting at his desk. The other man seemed to be shaking slightly and on edge about something, while at the same time his eyes were drifting shut as he tried to write in his notebook. Jayce decided it was probably time they head back to the dorm and head to bed. 

“Alright, I’m tired, ready to head out?” Jayce asked, breaking the silence. 

Viktor looked up at him, startled by the sudden noise, but relaxed when he realized what Jayce had just said. “No, I think I’ll stay here. I need to get a bit more work done, and I am feeling a bit restless,” said Viktor. Jayce noticed he kept glancing down at his bag every time he went and rubbed at his face from what seemed like an overzealous urge to do so. 

Jayce didn’t like how his lab partner was looking and wanted to make sure he was safe. He had a strange feeling that if he left the lab, something bad might happen to him. Viktor did not look to be in a state fit to stay up for much longer, considering the massive bags around his eyes and sunken cheekbones. 

“I think we should walk back together, it's nice outside. Maybe we’ll have some fun.” Jayce winked at Viktor and proceeded to instantly regret it. However, it did have the desired effect because Viktor smiled and began packing his things inside of his messenger bag. He grabbed his cane and coat and was waiting at the door for Jayce to join him on the walk back to the dorm. 

As they walked back to the dorm, they engaged in casual conversation that left Jayce feeling hopeful that maybe they could become friends. They reached the dorm building and slowly made their way up the stairs. By the time they made it to their floor, Viktor was out of breath, but was still somehow smiling. It was rare for Jayce to see Viktor in such a mood, even in the small amount of time he had known him. It reminded him of the Viktor he had met the night they had shared together all those weeks ago. 

Viktor unlocked the door, and Jayce rushed in and immediately began stripping from his professional clothing to get into his comfy nighttime clothes. He had spent too long in a belt and a blazer today in this hot weather, and he was ready to relax. However, Viktor had other things on his mind. 

“You know, when I first met you, I really thought you would be some prude based on how you acted,” Viktor said with a chuckle, looking over at Jayce, lying shirtless in his boxers on his bed. 

“What do you mean? In the few days of us living together, when have I ever given off the hint that I am ashamed of my body?” Jayce asked, trying to avoid the subject of that first night they shared together. 

“That is… not exactly what I meant. That night we were, what do they say here in America? ‘Getting it down,” Viktor chuckled. “You were as red as a tomato, and I was scared you were gonna run off the second I came onto you in my hallway. Don’t get me wrong, I am… pleasantly surprised at the turnout.” 

Jayce stared down at the floor, anxiety rising in his chest. “Viktor, please don’t.”

Viktor clearly knew what Jayce was talking about, but decided to push further. “Why Jayce? I believe we need to address what happened, or the tension will continue to grow and eventually break. We had so much fun together that night. Don’t you want more of that?” And you saw how we were back in the lab, bouncing ideas off of one another like that. Imagine what we could do if we were more. We could be unstoppable.” 

“It was a mistake,” Jayce said quietly. 

“I know you have said that before, but was it really. How could a mistake feel so good, and don’t think I haven’t caught you looking at me while we are in the lab. I can tell you, you still find me attractive. You wouldn’t have gone home with me that night if you didn’t.” Viktor said, moving closer. 

Jayce curled up on his bed with his back against the wall, and he hugged his knees. “I’m straight, Viktor. It was a mistake. Please, can we not bring it up again? I just want to start over. I wanna be friends, but you have to accept that I am straight and it is not going to happen again.” Jayce insisted, making it clear where he stood. His tone, however, was anything but confident. 

Luckily, Viktor elected to ignore the hesitance in Jayce’s voice. “Fine, if you insist. I would like to be friends too, and I will not try to persuade you to have intercourse with me, despite what I think is truly going on. We will live in ignorant bliss, as they say. We will make amicable friends, and I look forward to our partnership, Jayce.” 

Surprised by Viktor’s words, Jayce smiled up at the other man. “Thank you for understanding.” 

“Of course,” Viktor responded. “I was once there too.” 

“Where?” Jayce asked, puzzled by what Viktor was implying. 

“Oh, nothing to worry about, Jayce. I’m going to go get a shower, we can talk more later if you would like, but all those stairs have me sweaty as a dog,” he chucked, grabbing his towel and heading into the bathroom, leaving Jayce alone with his thoughts. 

Jayce crawled under his bedsheets and began to contemplate the conversation that they had just had. Viktor had accepted that Jayce was going to maintain he was straight. He hadn’t even pushed much, and Jayce didn’t know what to do with this. He felt both relieved and panicked at the same time. Jayce had to be straight. There was no other option for him. He had always been straight, and again will always be straight. That was that. 

Still, that did not keep his thoughts from wandering back to the brown-haired man who was showering merely feet away from him. The not-so-straight side of Jayce’s brain thought about his slender body and how smooth his skin would feel under Jayce’s hands. How was Jayce supposed to keep hold of himself when his roommate was so attractive? That's what this was. Jayce was still straight, but Viktor was just so attractive that it was confusing his brain. And he was really good at giving a blow job. Like, really good. 

Jayce elected to ignore the fact that he made the choice to go to the bar that night and decided to focus on pushing down his attraction to his new roommate. He elected to ignore the fact that he wanted to go back to that gay bar again with Viktor and flirt with the other man, and end the night just as they had the last time. However, this obviously could not happen, and it was the thoughts of temptation seeping into his brain. 

He knew it was going to be a long road, but it was nothing he couldn’t handle. He just needed to get a girlfriend. Yes, that was the solution. It would solve all of his problems. His attraction to Viktor would go away, and he could have a normal life, his mother could be proud of. 

Chapter Text

These arms of mine

They are lonely

Lonely and feeling blue

These arms of mine

They are yearning

Yearning from wanting you

• “These Arms of Mine” by Otis Redding, 1962

Viktor woke up one morning a few weeks into the semester, the sun yet to rise, and was instantly hit with an incredible wave of nausea. He went to sit up, but was met with agonizing pain shooting through his leg and back. In fact, the pain was shooting through every muscle in his body. Shit, Viktor thought, a fucking flare-up. He needed to take his Codeine, but saw they were on his desk at the foot of his bed rather than in his bedside table. 

Viktor groaned involuntarily as he slowly pulled the covers off his body. The simple movement of twisting to crawl across his bed to get to the top of his desk caused his back to ache more than it had in weeks. As he crawled, he stupidly put weight on his knee, but it gave out and caused him to collapse onto the bed. Viktor looked over to see if the noise had woken Jayce up and saw the other man begin to stir. 

Viktor pulled himself using his arms to his desk and went to grab the bottle, but ended up knocking it onto the floor. Fuck. The noise of this is what it took to wake Jayce up fully. Jayce sat up in bed with a startle, and Viktor saw him look over at his weakened frame. Vikor did not want Jayce to see him like this; it wasn’t fair. Viktor was not a weak man, and this would just cause his newfound friend to pity him, and he hated nothing more than pity. He could handle himself. 

“Hey, are you ok?” Jayce asked, getting out of bed and grabbing the bottle of pills off the floor, handing them back to Vitktor. 

“Not particularly,” Viktor said, taking the pill bottle from Jayce’s hand and turning away from the other man, not wanting to face him like this. Viktor needed the pills, especially on days like this. It’s why he would never give them up despite the warnings from the doctors. How would he live through a flare-up day without the sweet relief from the stabbing pain throughout his entire body? He could barely move; how was he supposed to function later on and go to class without them? 

“What’s wrong?” Jayce asked. 

“Nothing of your concern, Jayce,” Viktor said curtly as he opened the bottle of pills and took two dry. He proceeded to crawl back under his bedsheets. He could feel Jayce’s eyes on the back of his head, which left Viktor feeling extremely vulnerable. “Enjoying the show?” Viktor spat. 

“Oh gods, no, not at all, I’m just really worried about you. You don’t look ok at all, and I woke up to you groaning and crawling on your bed rather than walking over to your desk. You have to admit I have reason to be worried.” Jayce said with complete sincerity, as Viktor could hear it in his voice. 

Still annoyed, but with a softer voice, Viktor responded, “I suppose you are right. It is just a flare-up day. It is nothing I am not used to, and I can handle myself. Please do not give me your pity, as I will shut you down as soon as you open your mouth.” 

“Pity?” Jayce questioned, “I’m not pitying you, Viktor. I just want you to be ok, as my friend, I care if you're in pain.” 

“I suppose that's reasonable. I am just… not used to having people react with genuine concern rather than obligatory pity. It is a nice change, I suppose. I still do not want help, though, so you can go back to bed.” Viktor said, pulling the covers over his body and adjusting his pillow so he could fall back asleep. He heard shuffling from the bed behind him, most likely Jayce getting back into bed since it'll be a while till their alarm goes off, and Viktor thanks the gods Jayce actually listened to him. 

“If you need anything, let me know.” Viktor heard a quiet voice say from across the room. He made a noncommittal noise in response and closed his eyes. He began to drift back to sleep as the medication began to kick in. Euphoria, relief, and drowsiness overtook him as he drifted into a comfortable sleep.  

***

Viktor was breathing heavy as the pleasure of Jayce’s mouth overtook him. Jayce’s head bobbed up and down to the same rhythm of Viktor’s heavy breaths. His mouth was sloppy and wet, and could fit Viktor’s entire dick inside his mouth. That was one positive of the other man being much larger than him. 

“Fuck Jayce, you’re being such a good boy,” Viktor said, his accent thick. Jayce took this in turn and began to suck even faster and harder. This new pace caused Viktor to lose partial vision because the pleasure was so strong. He could feel his orgasm building in his abdomen. 

Viktor grabbed Jayce’s hair and began guiding his head up and down on his dick at the perfect pace. Jayce took this in earnest and began moaning with every tug of his hair Viktor gave.

Jayce grabbed the side of VIktor’s hips and deep-throated him with more eagerness. Viktor was losing conscious thought, lost in the feeling of the other man's mouth around every inch of him, and he began to buck his hips into Jayce’s face. 

“Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!” Viktor said with each thrust. Jayce didn’t choke and took every thrust like a man who had done this a thousand times. Viktors' thrusts became even more erratic as the orgasmic energy inside him grew. Soon, Viktor was spilling over down Jayce's throat as he fucked into his mouth and pulled his hair, taking complete control over the man below him. 

Jayce swallowed every bit of cum that shot out of Vitkor and released Viktor’s dick with a pop of his mouth. Viktor lay there in his bed in complete bliss over what Jayce had just given him. 

Jayce crawled up to Viktor and began to kiss him with a powerful desire. Viktor could taste his own cum in Jayce’s mouth, and that was enough to send a whole new jolt of pleasure down through his core. They began to make out, and Viktor moaned into his mouth. Jayce’s tongue danced inside Viktor’s mouth. Viktor was in such a state of bliss that he could barely hear Jayce calling his name as they kissed. 

“Viktor,” Jayce panted. 

Viktor moaned at this. 

“Viktor!” Jayce yelled. Viktor was pulled completely from the situation at hand and realized where he was. Jayce was not on top of him; Jayce was standing next to his bed, trying to wake him up. They were not sleeping together; Jayce was trying to get Viktor’s attention. 

Fuck, thought Viktor, realizing it was all a dream. A dream with consequences… he quickly felt the wetness and stickiness in his pants when he attempted to turn over to face Jayce, who was still trying to get his attention. 

“Yes?” Viktor finally responded, choosing not to turn around out of pure embarrassment, as well as still being in quite a lot of pain. The meds made things better, but they did not get rid of the flare-up.  

“Are you ok? You were making some pretty concerning noises over there, and then you said my name and I got worried.” Jayce explained, stepping closer to Viktor’s bed to see what was wrong. 

“Yes, I am ok, it was nothing. I was just in a bit of pain, and you must have misheard me. I don’t recall saying your name.” Viktor said with a hint of panic in his voice. How was he supposed to explain any of that?

“Oh, okay. Well, do you want to head to the lab with me?” 

“Yes, but I need a shower… for my joints. You go on ahead and get started on your work. Ill meet you there.” 

Jayce could sense Jayce’s mood fall. “Ok, are you sure you’ll be ok on your own?” 

“Jayce, what did I say about pity?” Viktor said, still staring at the wall, avoiding eye contact with Jayce over his embarrassment under the covers. 

“I wasn’t- I mean- right, sorry. I’ll see you later.” Jayce stuttered out, and with that, Viktor heard him put his things in his briefcase and head out the door of the dorm. 

Viktor let out a sigh of relief as soon as the door closed behind Jayce. He was finally alone and could deal with his embarrassing mishap. He pulled the covers away from his body and sat up in bed, swinging his legs over to the edge of the bed. Viktor sat like that for a second, staring down at his cum filled underwear and pants, contemplating his life choices. 

Why the fuck did he just have a wet dream about his roommate? I mean, of course, he still thought Jayce was attractive and wanted to get with him, but he promised him that he would not pursue him. He was not supposed to still have feelings for the other man. He was meant to get over this. Not only had he clearly not gotten over Jayce, but his subconscious was actively coming up with fantasies of enjoying the other man's company. 

It was also one thing to have a wet dream, but it was a whole other issue to moan out loud and call out the name of the man who was in the room with him. Viktor was more than embarrassed; he was mortified. He hoped Jayce believed his stupid lie, even though it made no sense. 

Gods, he was embarrassed by what happened, but couldn’t help but picture the dream over again. It felt really good. If Jayce were even half that good at giving a blow job in real life, Viktor would be over the moon. However, this was a selfish thought. He could not have the other man. He should not be thinking of him that way. He promised. 

Viktor grabbed his cane and pulled himself off the bed with a groan. The flare-up had not gone away since he woke up last, but he knew it wouldn’t have anyway, so it was stupid to hope. Viktor walked slowly over to his desk and took another pill, needing to feel the euphoria of another hit after what had just happened, and needing more relief from the pain he was feeling if he was going to make it to the lab today. 

Viktor grabbed his shower chair and set it down in the shower, and proceeded to turn on the water to let it heat up. He peeled his sticky clothes off himself and put them in his dirty clothes bin to make sure Jayce had no chance of seeing them on the bathroom floor. Viktor climbed into the shower, sat down, and began to clean himself up. 

He sat in the warm water for a while, enjoying the euphoria of the extra medication kicking in while the warmth of the water relaxed his stiff muscles. He began to zone out and lost track of how long he was in the shower. Before he knew it, the water was running cold, and he needed to get out as soon as possible. 

Viktor got himself dressed quickly, grabbed his cane, which felt like not enough today, and headed out the door of the dorm. On his way, Viktor quickly realized he had underestimated his ability to walk all the way to the lab building on a day like this. The closer he got to the lab, the more every step felt like hell. His right leg was slowly failing him, and he wasn’t sure what to do other than push through till he got to the lab, which is exactly what he did. 

He entered the lab with a very heavy limp and his back hunched over from the searing pain shooting through his spine. He walked over to his desk and collapsed into his desk chair with a groan. He laid his head down on his desk for a second and peeked over at Jayce’s desk next to his own. He found the other man staring at him with a look of deep concern written all over his face. 

“Are you ok?” Jayce asked, panicked, staring at Viktor’s collapsed frame at his desk. 

“No,” Viktor admitted, vaguely high enough to tell the truth, “But I am here, so there is no turning back now.” He chuckled. “Let's get to work, Talis.” He looked up and smiled at Jayce. Jayce’s ears went red at the nickname, and Viktor took the blush and smile as a win. 

They began working side by side on their own projects, but Viktor was growing increasingly curious about what Jayce was working on. He was always scribbling in his notebook, and Viktor couldn’t help but feel an intense intrigue over what the other man was designing. Viktor slowly scooted his chair over until he was close enough to be able to see what it was that Jayce was writing down. 

To Viktor’s surprise, he found Jayce sketching out different models for what seemed to be a giant robotic hammer, based on the dimensions written in the margins of the sketches. Its purpose was unclear, which is what left Viktor so surprised. 

Leaning in close to Jayce’s shoulder, Viktor asked quietly into his ear, “So what are you working on?” This startled Jayce, as he jolted up in his chair and slammed his notebook shut, clearly not having noticed Viktor scoot close enough to see what was inside. 

“Uh, it's nothing important.” Jayce nervously laughed. 

“Really?” Viktor asked in a playful tone. “Because to me it looked like you were pretty entranced by the design of that massive… thing.” He smiled at Jayce. 

Blood rushed to Jayce’s cheeks, and the tips of his ears turned pink at Viktor’s tone, and this pleased Viktor greatly. “It’s nothing serious, really, just some dream I’ve had since I was a little kid. I’m not even supposed to be working on it now, but sometimes I just get bored or my ideas stop flowing, and I always come back to this.” Jayce opened his notebook back up and pushed it closer to Viktor so he could see better. 

Viktor took a closer look at the page, and he was right, it seemed to be a massive robotic hammer that had mechanisms to open and close at will. What those mechanisms served were lost on Viktor, but he was happy to indulge his lab partner's childhood fantasies. “So… a hammer?” 

“Yeah, it's stupid, I know,” Jayce responded, but was still smiling. “My family comes from a line of hammer makers, and I always wanted to make the best one growing up, so this is a bit of a childhood indulgence when I get stuck on other things,” said Jayce. This made Viktor smile, thinking of a young Jayce drawing make-believe art of him wielding this giant hammer to do gods know what. 

“Do you mind me asking what you are stuck on this time that led to you turning to this? Perhaps I could be of some assistance?” Viktor leaned in even closer, presenting himself to Jayce. 

Jayce froze for a second at the new proximity, but soon relaxed and began a rant on his newest possible idea for his first-year project. “I’ve been toying with the idea of developing a mechanical arm that integrates robotics and prosthetics. It’s in early phases of ideas, but I’m stuck on what materials might work and be most efficient for the system to burn the least amount of energy.” 

Viktor lit up at this, as this was something he was also interested in. They talked together for the next hour about possible new plastic polymers and bio-safe metal alloys that could possibly be produced. Viktor bounced his own ideas for his project off Jayce, while also suggesting things for Jayce’s project. Their minds were working perfectly together, and their interests were colliding in ways that allowed them to develop new ideas faster than Viktor had ever experienced. Working with Jayce was a wonderful experience in and of itself. 

Over the course of the hour, the two men got closer to each other, eventually both ending up at Jayce’s desk, hunched over their notebooks. Their shoulders brushed against each other every once in a while, and every time it sent butterflies straight to Viktor’s stomach. Over the past few weeks, Jayce’s friendship has been growing on him. Viktor will admit that he is growing quite fond of the other man. He enjoys working with him and finds Jayce’s mind to be fascinating. 

In their shared class, they have even been able to help each other with homework when one gets stuck. Viktor has grown to enjoy sitting next to Jayce in class, as close proximity to the other man tends to leave him with a warm feeling in his chest.

As they continued to work on their own things while occasionally bouncing ideas off each other, Viktor noticed Jayce begin to grow restless. Jayce’s leg was bouncing at an alarming rate, and his hands were running through his hair as he stared down at his notes. Viktor decided to test the waters and scooted slightly closer. He leaned over Jayce’s shoulder to read his notes and asked, “Is everything alright?” 

Jayce froze up and looked up at Viktor, torn away from his thoughts and surprised by the new proximity Viktor had put between their heads. Their faces were inches apart, and Viktor noticed Jayce’s wide eyes glance down at Viktor’s lips. He knew he should have moved away, given the tension in the air, but Viktor could not help but bask in the closeness. The butterflies returned in his stomach, and he gazed into Jayce’s eyes and swore he saw a spark of feeling return. 

A knock on the door broke the moment between them. Jayce immediately jumped back, putting several feet of distance between them in a panic. Viktor was left hunched over Jayce’s desk, frozen in the moment of what just happened. Jayce quickly stood up and got out of his chair, exiting the situation. This left Viktor feeling hurt, but he understood where Jayce was coming from based on their previous conversations. 

“Yes?” Jayce yelled towards the door, hiding his gaze from Viktor. 

Professor Heimerdinger proceeded to enter the room, “Ah! Hello, my dear boys! I was hoping I would find both of you here today.” 

“Is there something you need, Professor?” Viktor asked. 

“Yes! I wanted to talk to you both about the distinguished innovators competition. Have either of you two given any more thought about possibly entering an invention of your own?” 

“Yes!” Both Vitkor and Jayce said in unison, glancing over at each other and smiling at their shared phrase. 

“Perfect!” Heimerdinger started, “I was hoping you would say that. Based on your class work, both of your works are more than adequate to enter into the competition. I am excited to see what you both come up with. Deadlines for rough drafts and designs are coming up soon, so you both need to be getting on with what you want to work on. I have high hopes for both of you. Once you each have your plan, please submit a report to my mailbox detailing your respective ideas, plan of action, and rough timeline estimate. If you need extra funding, you will have to fill out a separate request form for that.” 

“Thank you for the information, Professor!” Viktor said as Heimerdinger began to walk back out of the lab.  

“Yeah, thank you, I’ll get my report to you as soon as I can!” Jayce said before the professor left. 

Jayce turned to Viktor after Heimerdinger was gone with a strange look in his eyes that Viktor couldn’t place. “Well, that's good news, I guess. Excited for the competition?” he said to Viktor. 

Viktor smiled at Jayce in turn, “Absolutely, I am.”

***

Over the next few days, during both lab time and downtime at their dorm, they discussed the distinguished innovators competition. 

“Do you have any ideas so far?” Jayce asked Viktor one night, both lying in bed, but clearly not sleeping. 

Sleepily, Viktor turned over to face Jayce in his own bed. “Any ideas for what?” Viktor yawned. 

“The distinguished innovators competition,” Jayce said matter-of-factly, like it was the most obvious thing in the universe. This made Viktor chuckle at his friend's tired musings. 

“I have a couple of ideas, yes. But I am struggling to come up with any inspiration for them. None of them seems to connect to me on a personal level yet. I am capable of doing any of them, I just want to find the right one that I am passionate about.” Viktor gazed through the dark, searching for Jayce’s eyes. He found them trained on his face, intently focused on every word Viktor said. 

“That’s understandable,” Jayce said. “Honestly, I’m struggling with the same thing.” he admitted. Though it was dark, Jayce’s face was alight by the moonlight, and Viktor couldn’t help but think he looked beautiful in the lighting. Jayce was looking right at him, and the moonlight made his eyes glow with admiration as he stared back at Viktor. The way Jayce looked at him always lit his skin on fire, despite what had been said between them about thoughts like this in the past. 

Viktor quickly pushed those thoughts aside. “Well, I suggest if we are to make any progress tomorrow with finding what inspires us, we should get some sleep tonight,” he said to Jayce. 

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right,” Jayce said back, but did not break eye contact with Viktor. He continued to stare into his eyes, and Viktor could not help but feel a feeling of longing. It both scared and invigorated Viktor. “Good night, Viktor.” 

“Good night, Jayce,” Viktor said, still gazing into Jayce’s eyes. They lay like that for another minute before Viktor decided he needed to break the moment for his own sanity. He turned onto his back, let out a sigh, and closed his eyes. After a few minutes, he heard rustling coming from the other bed and peeked over to see Jayce had turned towards the wall and was in the beginnings of falling asleep. 

Viktor took this as a win and attempted to drift off to sleep himself. The night was not so kind to him. As Viktor lay in bed, all he could think about was the competition. As he said before, he had so many ideas, but most were passionless. 

The first idea that came to mind was a new separation process for plastics in a manufacturing plant to increase the yield of the product. This sparked some joy in him, as he knew creating new methods that required less energy and creating less waste was good for the environment, but the more he thought about it, the less interested he became. He didn’t want to just focus on plastics. There was nothing revolutionary about that. It would for sure not get him any awards at the innovators competition, so what was the point in putting work into it at this point in his career? He was a young graduate student, and right now, proving himself was all he had going for him. 

He remembered a few days later the idea of creating a new chemical safety mechanism for oil rigs. This might be a revolutionary idea, he thought, but quickly realized it was far less practical than he hoped. He had sketched out ideas in his notebook and calculated some things on the chalkboard before realizing there was no way he would be able to get the materials he needed in order to fulfill this project. He had absolutely no access to an offshore oil rig, so how was he supposed to test his ideas? Once again, he was at a dead end. 

Everything he tried just made him bored. As he lay awake that night, begging for sleep, he knew he had to come up with something soon. The deadline was approaching quickly, and he had nothing. He couldn’t write up a proposal for a non-existent idea. He was stuck, tired, and unable to do anything about it. As sleep alluded him, he decided to get up and take one of his pills. As the euphoria and sedative effects began to kick in, he drifted off into a blissful sleep where he dreamed of golden brown eyes once again. 

***

A few nights later in the lab, the boys began to make breakthroughs in their ideas. As usual, their brains were working at 10x the speed as usual, and 10x as sharp due to their combined intellectual power. They always seemed to work better together as partners, and this was growing increasingly evident as time passed. 

“You know,” Viktor started, “I wanted to come up with something that will help the majority of people, and not just sell for a rich patent.” 

“Me too!” Jayce excitedly agreed. “I think we both have ideas; we just need to look deeper into our notebooks. I was thinking something to do with mechanically designing an energy receptacle, as I am familiar with energy systems, but I am not so keen on how the flow of energy and power work within a chemical system. I’ve been trying to figure that out, but I have been getting nowhere.” he looked down at his notes, flipping through the pages to show Viktor. Viktor could see many pages of sketched-out designs that looked beautiful, but the calculations never added up. 

As Viktor looked more into the calculations, he realized something: he could help. “I actually think I know where you are going wrong with your idea,” Viktor said, leaning closer into Jayce to point at one of his equations in his notebook. Jayce’s breath hitched at the closeness, but Viktor decided to continue on as he was. “You see, as a chemical engineer, I am greatly adapted to working with control systems and working with increasing energy yield.” 

Viktor continued to explain his perspective on Jayce’s ideas, pointing out his mistakes in calculations. Viktor walked over to the chalkboard and began to draw out a flowchart that would explain exactly what Jayce needed to solve his problem. 

Suddenly, Viktor had an idea, “Perhaps this could lead to developing a small-scale sustainable wind-based energy receptacle for everyday homes? This would solve so many problems, especially in low-income areas, and could help a lot of people. I think it’s something you should definitely look into.” 

Silence fell over the room, and Viktor feared he had said something wrong. He set down the chalk and turned towards Jayce to see what was going on. Jayce was frozen in the spot Viktor had left him in, clearly thinking deeply about something. His eyes were locked onto Viktor, and as Viktor gazed deeply into his eyes, he felt a pull of something he could not name. Jayce clearly had something to say, or was contemplating something, but Viktor had no idea what it might be, and it was nerve-wracking. 

“Is everything ok, Jayce? I am sorry if I overstepped. I-” 

“Do you want to be partners?” Jayce blurted out suddenly. 

This took Viktor aback, and a single “What?” is all Viktor could muster. He began thinking of all the scenarios where he and Jayce could be partners together. They could be lovers, lab partners, life partners; the possibilities were endless. Viktor couldn’t help but selfishly hope that Jayce meant anything romantic. Maybe Jayce had changed his mind from what he said earlier. Viktor had been laying down hints that he was still an option, but he never thought it would go anywhere. Viktor began to smile and walk towards Jayce. 

“We would work so well together,” Jayce started, “As inventing partners, we will have double the brain power.

Ah, Viktor thought, inventing partners. Of course.

“If we enter the competition together, there is no way anyone else would have any chance against us. Your idea is perfect, and my mechanical background, combined with your chemical engineering knowledge, will be perfect to execute the idea together. We would have a huge advantage over the others because we can combine our backgrounds and have two sources of knowledge for a new invention. What do you think?”

Still stunned, Viktor stood in silence, processing all that Jayce had said to him. Even though Viktor wanted more, being an inventor partner sounded amazing. He would love nothing more than to work with Jayce through thick and thin. He loved Jayce’s ideas and knew they could change the world if they put their mind together. 

“Yes!” Viktor excitedly agrees after moments of silence. 

“Yes?” Jayce said hopefully. 

“Absolutely! I would love to be partners with you. We could really change the world, just you wait. We can make our dreams come true,” Viktor said to Jayce. 

Jayce walked over and put his hand on Viktor's shoulder, “Yeah, our dreams,” he said, smiling down at Viktor. Viktor looked down at Jayce's hand on his shoulder and glanced back up at Jayce’s face, blushing. Jayce quickly noticed what he had done and took his hand away. “Right,” he smiled at Viktor awkwardly, “We have a lot of planning to do, but I’m excited.” 

“Me too,” Viktor took a step away, trying to dispel the awkwardness, and headed over to his desk with a smile. “I am just going to write down what we talked about really quickly, then we can start planning a timeline and start bouncing around more ideas.” 

Jayce released a breath he seemed to be holding and followed Viktor over to his desk, and watched what he wrote in his notebook. Viktor felt the closeness of Jayce standing over him and felt warmth rise within his chest. Viktor realized very quickly that his attraction to Jayce may not just be physical. The other man was growing on him, and if just the thought of being close to him made him want more, he might have more than just small feelings for him. Viktor pushed this realization down and got to work with his new partner. 

“We need to write up the report and application and turn it into Heimerdinger as soon as possible, but we need to come up with a timeline and figure out the logistics before we start that,” said Viktor. 

“Well, with my chemical background, I can easily assist in building the device to produce the output we need. I have a good background in building inventions, and I am able to draw pretty well. I can easily draw and figure out designs that will yield the best output and the least amount of power usage.” 

“Sounds good to me,” Viktor smiled, “I’m also very sure you will have much more to contribute than you think.” He looked up at Jayce’s face and glanced down at his lips. Jayce clearly noticed because he chuckled and took a step back, but not without Viktor noticing the blush creeping over his cheeks and up to the tips of his ears. 

“With my background in chemical engineering, I will help with developing new, more sustainable plastic polymers. I don’t know if you have read Silent Spring, but the things the manufacturing and chemical industries are doing to the environment are disastrous. I can tell we both care about bettering the world, so while we collaborate to make a more sustainable machine that is not built for capitalism's sake, we can also help benefit the environment. I also enjoy reading about wind thermodynamics, and would like to toy with that to generate the sustainable energy we need. Possibly also creating a sustainable plastic filter, but that will come later.” Viktor said with confidence. 

“Yeah, absolutely,” the smile on Jayce’s face was growing, and the blush he developed was deepening. “And for the battery?” 

Viktor smiled at this, “I assumed we would work completely together for that. I think we will need both of our knowledge for that specific part alone.” 

Jayce smiled even more, “Sounds good!” Jayce glanced out of the window, most likely to avoid Viktor's gaze due to his blush, Viktor thinks. “Oh shit! It’s way past sunset. We've been in the lab all day, so we should probably go back to the dorm to get some sleep before writing up the application and report tomorrow. Wanna walk back together?” 

“Absolutely, Jayce.” 

They both packed up in silence and quietly exited the lab together. They walked back to the dorm at Viktor’s pace, both brushing shoulders every once in a while. Every time they touched, the more butterflies Viktor gained in his stomach. They share easy conversation, and Jayce continues to make Viktor laugh the entire way back to the dorm. By the time they made it back home, the blush on Viktor’s face was bright red, but he hoped Jayce could not notice due to the low light of the night. 

Once back in the dorm, they go about their separate bedtime routines in relative silence. Both have been growing more comfortable existing around the other in all aspects of life. 

Viktor watched Jayce crawl into bed and waited till he heard the other man start to snore. He had been on his feet most of the day, and due to getting caught up with working with Jayce all day, he hadn’t had a pain pill for almost half a day. His body was craving one, and his pain was reason enough for Viktor to justify taking an extra just to take the edge off. It’s been a long and exciting day, and his brain just needed to calm down.  

Viktor lay down in bed, letting the euphoria and sedation take effect. His brain began to fog, but he was still unable to sleep. He could not stop thinking about Jayce. Their friendship was growing, and now there was a new partnership blooming through their inventive minds. However, Viktor could not ignore his growing feelings. The more time he spent with Jayce, who went like today did, the more his feelings began to develop. He couldn’t help but want more with the other man. He would settle for their partnership, but had to do something about his feelings. 

Viktor decided he needed to take action and do something about the feelings growing inside him so quickly. He needed to find someone else to distract him. A little sex never hurt anyone, and he hasn’t been back to that gay bar since meeting Jayce there. It was time he ended his dry spell and got over his unrequited crush. 

***

A few nights later, Viktor could be found wandering the dark red-light district where the gay bar he frequented was. The very same one he met Jayce in. It was always dangerous for him to walk down these streets, as the cops could recognize him at any moment, as he had been in the bar during a raid, but he was in desperate times right now. He needed to get over his growing feeling for Jayce, and what better way to do that than to meet a new guy? 

It was also dangerous for Viktor to be walking down these streets as a disabled person. It wouldn’t be the first time he was bashed just for walking with a cane. A lot of people, and even cops, see him as an easy target because he can’t run away. Again, he probably shouldn’t be on these streets tonight, but again, he was desperate. 

Viktor was not in the best mindset on this dark night. Yes, he wanted to get over his feelings for Jayce, but for some reason he could not get the other man ot of his head. He felt that just going to this gay bar without telling Jayce was a form of lying. Why would that be? Viktor could do what he wanted. Jayce made his intentions perfectly clear, and Viktor had no chance with him. Viktor had every right to find a random man to suck him off in a grubby bathroom and hopefully see again afterwards. 

He was so tired of pining that he would do anything at this moment to get over it. Viktor entered the bar and immediately spotted a man at the bar he had had encounters with before. The man often made strange comments about his disability, which is why things never went further than sex, but he was the distraction Viktor was looking for tonight. Luckily, he was not talking with anyone other than the bartender yet, so Viktor made his way over. 

“Fancy seeing you here,” Viktor said to the other man. “Can I buy you a drink?” he leaned against the bar. 

The other man turned to see who was talking to him, and his smile grew wide, “Viktor! Haven’t seen you around this part of town much recently. Thought you might have shacked up with someone.” 

“Nope, just been busy with school. But, I’m looking to have a fun night tonight, would you like to indulge me?” Viktor asked. 

“Always…” He leaned in close to Viktor’s ear so only he could hear. “Sir.” This sent a shiver of arousal down Viktor’s spine. Viktor began to think that maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea after all. Viktor bought the other man a drink, the other man took him into the bathroom to do a line of coke, and they continued to talk by the bar, flirting up a storm. Viktor was feeling elated, euphoric, and wanted. The other man was leaning in close, and Viktor was about to ask him to bring him home, but that plan was derailed by another sight of a familiar face. 

As Viktor leaned in to pepper a kiss on the other man's neck, he spotted Jayce from across the bar. Viktor immediately froze, making eye contact with his partner. Viktor was truly and utterly startled and appalled at the sight before him. 

“Is everything alright?” The other man standing next to him asked. 

Viktor was still stunned and struggled to answer. “Uhhhh, yeah. Sorry, I’ll be right back. Give me a minute.” Viktor said, never looking away from Jayce as he began to walk away from the man he had been flirting with all night. 

Viktor made a beeline for his partner to talk to him, but as soon as Viktor got close, Jayce took off running, heading outside of the bar. Viktor obviously could not keep up with him, but he tried his best to make it to the door of the bar to catch a glimpse of Jayce outside. 

As Viktor exited the bar, he caught a small glimpse of a large man he assumed to be Jayce running off into the night. Viktor was left utterly confused and betrayed. Jayce had lied to him and betrayed his trust. Not only that, but he made Viktor feel ashamed for the night they shared; he had told Viktor he was a mistake, and now he was back in the same bar without Viktor. This left Viktor extremely hurt and nauseous, unknowing how to deal with all of the feelings and knowledge that had just come crashing down on him. 

Viktor went back inside to get another drink and process what had just happened. He ordered a whiskey neat and drank it all in one gulp. 

“Hey, what's going on? Is everything ok? I was hoping we could head back to my place soon?” A voice came from behind Viktor. He turned around to find the man he had been spending the evening with, and who he had honestly forgotten about the moment he laid eyes on Jayce. 

“Sorry,” Viktor began his made-up excuse to leave, “I just felt sick, so I had to step outside to get some fresh air. I came back in order to say goodbye before I left, which is what I am doing right now.” The words sounded janky coming out of Viktor's mouth, but he was too drunk and high to care. 

“Ok, well, I hope to see you here again soon. It’d be nice to get to know one another in every way once again.” The other man said with a wink before walking off to find someone else to bring home and bed for the night. 

Viktor headed out of the bar and began the long trek back to his and Jayce’s dorm, both dreading and looking forward to the conversation that would be awaiting him when he returned. He was so confused as to why Jayce insisted to Viktor that he was straight and their night was a mistake when he clearly was lying. Was Viktor truly that unwanted that Jayce just lied to try to save his feelings? Was Jayce just so far in the closet that he panicked and shoved Viktor away to save his own ego? Viktor had so many questions that he was determined to get answers once he made it home. 

The walk home took longer than he expected. He was stumbling around the streets, the effects of the alcohol and the drugs making it hard to navigate while walking with his cane. His coordination was clearly inhibited, and it was making things very difficult. After what felt like forever, Viktor finally made it to the dorm. He climbed up the stairs slowly and unlocked the door to their dorm. 

Viktor expected Jayce to be in there, so he walked right in, calling his name, “Jayce?” he slurred and stumbled against the wall. 

“Fuck!” he heard come from Jayce’s bed, beside the scream of what sounded like a woman. 

  “Hello? What's going on?” Viktor’s accent is heavy from the inehbraition. He turned on the lights and was met with a sight he never wanted to see. 

Viktor laid eyes upon Jayce in bed with another woman. Not only another woman, Mel Medarda. Viktor was so stunned that he couldn’t even say anything. He was way too high and drunk to process all that had happened in the night, from the gay bar to finding this in his dorm. He immediately ran to the bathroom to throw up. 

Chapter Text

There'll be swingin' and swayin' and records playing

Dancing in the street

Oh it doesn't matter what you wear

Just as long as you are there

So come on ev'ry guy grab a girl

Everywhere around the world

There'll be dancing (dancing in the street)

They're dancing in the street

Dancing in the street

• “Dancing in the Street” by Martha and the Vandellas, 1965

Jayce ran out of the gay bar in a panic, hoping, praying, that Viktor didn’t really see that it was him. He sprinted down the dark alleyways until he was out of the red-light district. He hadn’t even had a drink yet and was too sober to be feeling the panic that was overtaking him at the moment. Once he made it out of that part of town, his running slowed to a brisk walk. 

His mind was reeling with the thoughts of what just happened. How could he have been so stupid to go back to that gay bar? He had told Viktor he was straight and was adamant there was nothing between them. Perhaps that’s why he ended up going. He needed a way to get Viktor out of his head because, as partners, any romantic entanglement would just mess everything up. And, again, he wasn’t gay. So he made his way down to the gay bar to prove to himself that it was just Viktor; he didn’t actually like men. 

This was quickly proven false as he stared at the men in the bar. He found many of them attractive, much to his displeasure. However, none of them measured up to Viktor. Viktor was the man he wanted, but he was the man he knew he couldn’t have. He couldn’t have a man at all; he couldn’t be a queer; he had to be straight. He just wanted to be normal. 

He continued walking the beaten path towards the university area where Viktor and his dorm were located. His mind was racing with regret and fear of anyone else finding out what he had done. He came to realize that Viktor could tell the school if he was mad enough at him. But, Jayce reasoned, Viktor would never do that. He was too kind and a good person. 

Jayce continued walking and finally made it near campus when he ran into a familiar face. One he hadn’t seen in a while, but was glad to have found in this moment. 

“Jayce?” asked Mel Medarda, a woman Jayce had first met at a college networking event. She went to a black woman's college near Piltover Academy and was very skilled in the world of activism and politics. 

“Oh! Hey, Mel!” Jayce said in surprise. “How are you?” 

“I am doing well,” Mel started. “I might ask you the same question, but first, what are you doing out here off campus at this time of night?” she asked. 

“Uhhhh, it's a long story,” Jayce said, trying to play it cool. 

“I’m sure.” 

“Well, as to your other question, I’m doing well. Graduate school has been going well.” 

While speaking to Mel, he quickly had a thought that might save him. What if he got together with Mel? It wouldn’t be the craziest idea in the world. Last time they had met, some sparks had flown on her end, and she showed interest. Jayce didn’t go after her because he didn’t feel the same pull, and now he knew why. However, he realized things didn’t have to be that way; he could fix this. If he played his cards right tonight, he could start going steady with Mel and not have to worry about any queer allegations, especially from Viktor. Jayce knew what he had to do now. 

Jayce leaned in close to Mel and dropped his voice into a low, flirtatious one, “And what might you be doing out here at this time of night as well, Ms. Medarda?” He could see that she sensed the change of his tone, and she began to blush, moving closer to him. 

“Oh, I don’t know, I was out for a stroll, couldn’t fall asleep to be honest?” She said coyly, taking her hand and brushing it against Jayce’s arm. 

“Well, I wouldn’t want you getting hurt out here like this,” Jayce chose his next words very carefully, “How about you come home with me, and I show you around my dorm. Make sure you’re taken care of for the night.” Jayce extended his arm, inviting her to join him. 

Mel smiled up at him and took his arm in her hand. They began to walk back to Jayce’s dorm together. The two old friends exchanged comfortable conversation throughout the walk back to Jayce’s dorm. It made Jayce remember how well they got along when they met. They made quick friends, Jayce just hoped he could hold on long enough to make a good boyfriend, maybe even a husband someday. It was what he was supposed to do. 

However, as they grew closer and closer to the dorm, Jayce began to grow more nervous. He couldn’t help but think about his feelings for Viktor. Every time he looked at the other man, it was like he was staring into the sun. Viktor burned so bright it scared Jayce, but he made him feel warm inside, a feeling he did not want to ever let go of. 

Over the course of the term so far, Jayce’s feelings for Viktor had morphed into something more than just friendship. He caught himself staring at the other man too much. He noticed the butterflies that formed in his stomach when the other man got close. He knew it was wrong, but being with Viktor felt so right. However, he knew he could not go that route. He needed to make his mother proud. He needed to get a wife and kids and live a normal life. 

He also couldn’t help but think about the consequences of doing what he was sure he was about to do. What would Viktor think? Why did he care so much about what Viktor thought? At this point, it didn’t matter. Jayce needed to do this for himself. He wanted to fall in love with a girl. Mel was as amazing as ever and the perfect option. He had made up his mind; he chose Mel Medarda to be his girl. 

The two old friends finally reached Jayce’s dorm and made the trek up the stairs. Once entering, Mel quickly went to the bed and sat shyly, but seductively, awaiting Jayce’s next move. 

Jayce excused himself to go to the bathroom and stared at himself in the mirror. What was he doing? How could he do this to Mel, how could he do this to Viktor, how could he do this to himself? This was stupid; he wasn’t doing anything to Mel, he was just doing his duty as a man. They would have a lovely relationship, and Jayce would prove he was the man he always wanted to be. 

Jayce splashed water on his face, calmed himself down, and walked back into the dorm room, ready to do this. He walked over to Mel and sat down on the bed next to her. 

“Is there anything that is off limits?” Jayce asks her, always a gentleman, even in the most deviant positions. 

“Such a gentleman, no, I know what I want,” she said, and turned her head up towards him and started to kiss him slowly. They made out for a while, and Jayce didn’t… hate it. It felt sorta neutral. It didn’t make him have butterflies, but he assumed that was just because maybe he didn’t like kissing. Mel was a pretty girl, and he was sure that with time, his body would respond accordingly. 

As things heated up, Mel began to paw at Jayce’s pants, but Jayce was not hard yet. He wasn’t sure what to do. No matter what she did, he still couldn’t get it up. 

“Is everything ok?” Mel asked. 

“Yeah, yeah, let's just keep going, it's all ok. This just happens sometimes,” he explained. 

As she began to touch him, Jayce closed his eyes and imagined the night he and Viktor shared together. He thought of Viktor’s lips around his dick and his thin hands trailing up his shaft as he teased Jayce. He thought of Viktor’s eyes as he looked up at Jayce with an intense hunger. Viktor looked as beautiful as always. 

Jayce was finally hard and was able to start getting to work. He continued to think of Viktor throughout in order to stay hard, despite his brain screaming at him about how wrong it was. 

All of a sudden, there was the sound of jangling keys outside the door, and both Jayce and Mel froze. Viktor called out for Jayce as he walked into the room and froze as well at the sight of Jayce in a very compromising, unclothed position with a woman in his bed. 

Jayce fumbled to get dressed and explain the situation, but he couldn’t get dressed quickly enough because Viktor immediately ran to the bathroom and locked himself in. Jayce could hear wretching from inside and put his head in his hands. This could not have gone any worse, Jayce thought. 

Jayce turned back to Mel, who was attempting to cover herself with Jayce’s bedsheets. “You should probably go. I am so sorry. I had no idea he would be back to the dorm tonight.” 

“Oh, I see,” her face fell. 

Jayce felt guilty as hell and quickly responded, “I’ll call you though. I would love to take you out on an actual date and get to know each other even more. I think you're a wonderful girl and would love this to go further.” He lied through his teeth. 

“I would like that too,” she smiled. Mel got up, put her clothes on, and began to get ready to leave. 

Just then, Viktor stumbled out of the bathroom with an angry look on his face, and something else that looked like betrayal, but Jayce couldn’t be sure. 

Mel, ever the diplomat, outstretched her hand towards Viktor, “Hi, I am Mel, a… friend of Jayce’s. I am so sorry that this is how we had to meet, but I would love to get to know you more. Any friend of Jayce’s is a friend of mine. How are you tonight?” 

Viktor hesitantly took Mel’s hand and shook it. “I am well…” Jayce could sense the sound of weariness in his tone, and by the looks of his posture and blown pupils, he was clearly not sober. That is something he and Viktor would be talking about later, but now was not the time. 

“It was nice to meet you.” Mel tried. 

“It was nice to meet you, too,” Viktor said dismissively and went over and sat down at his desk. Jayce watches as Viktor got out of his notebook and began angrily scribbling on the paper.  Jayce mused about how, over the past few weeks, he had noticed Viktor was never good at hiding his emotions. 

“I am going to head out now. It was a pleasure to see you, Jayce. I hope that we see each other again soon.” Mel said as she began to depart from the dorm. 

“Absolutely! It was amazing seeing you, too. I’ll give you a call, and we can go on a real date sometime. My treat, obviously. You’re a great girl, Mel. I want to treat you right.” Jayce said with a smile. 

“Well, you do sure know how to make a girl feel special, Jayce Talis.” Mel leaned up and kissed Jayce on the cheek before walking out the door to the dorm. Jayce closed the dorm behind her and prepared to face the other man in the room, whose anger was emanating from across the room. 

Jayce walked into the middle of the room and was immediately met with fury. 

“What the actual fuck was that?” Viktor yelled. He grabbed his cane and stood up, moving to the middle of the room to meet Jayce face to face. 

“What do you mean? Am I not allowed to have a girlfriend?” Jayce feigned ignorance. 

“You know damn well that is not what I am talking about.” Viktor continued to raise his voice, accent growing thick with the amount of drugs and alcohol in his system. Despite the situation, Jayce couldn’t help but think about how much Viktor’s accent drew him in, wanting him to talk more and more. “I am so fucking confused, Jayce. First, I see you at the gay bar, without me, mind you, and then when I go to talk to you, you end up sprinting out of there like your clothes were on fire. You keep insisting you’re straight, but then this happens, and what am I supposed to think? You are sending so many mixed messages, and honestly, it's getting tiring for me.” Viktor exclaimed

“I- I don’t know what to say, I’m allowed to spend the night with a girl,” Jayce says defensively. He was internally panicking, and had no idea how to diffuse this situation he had gotten himself into. He knew Viktor was right, but was filled with both too much pride and shame at the same time to admit the truth. 

“Oh, so you want to talk about that.” Vitktor started up again, anger rising in his voice. “I have never even heard you mention that girl. We spend all of our time together, and not once have I heard about a potential girlfriend you would be interested it. This did not surprise me, but now I am utterly confused. Why would you go and bed a random girl on a night like this? Are you just trying to spite me or something? There is nothing wrong with being queer, Jayce, if you would just admit it. You don’t have to go and find a random beard just so I’ll get off your back. You are so fucking exhausting.”

At this final sentence, Jayce recoiled in hurt. His whole demeanor changed from defending himself to feeling utterly ashamed to even be alive. How was he supposed to live like this, knowing this is what Viktor thought of him? Exhausting. The word kept repeating in his mind like a broken record. 

However, Viktor wasn’t finished. “And don’t even get me started about how inappropriate it is to bring a girl to our shared space without even asking me. You know how I feel about strangers, and you completely disrespected my boundaries. I don’t care if it was what you felt you needed to do to feel like a man, but that does not take away from the fact that this is my space, too. Things like this must be discussed.” Jayce could tell Viktor was almost out of breath with how furiously he was talking. 

Jayce was curled into a ball on his bed, and suddenly got the urge to fight back. If he was going to be a real man, he needed to stand up for himself, no matter what hurt he was feeling inside. “You shouldn’t be surprised that I brought a girl home, I told you I’m not a fucking queer.” He said with bitterness in his tone to match Viktor’s fury. 

“Stop saying that like it's a bad thing!” Viktor exclaimed. “Do you know how much it hurts every time you say something like that, knowing I am what you clearly see as inferior. There is nothing wrong with being gay, Jayce, and I am proud of my identity, and I will not stand any longer for you looking down on me for it. And let's not forget I saw you at the gay bar. Even if you bolted, you were still there. You are such a hypocrite, and it's driving me insane. ” 

At this, Jayce began to cower again, knowing he had hurt his partner. That was the last thing he wanted to do. He just wanted to protect himself. “You must be mistaken.” Jayce squeaked out, barely audible, even within the small confines of their dorm. 

“What?” Viktor said with sharpness. 

Defensively, Jayce sat up. “I wasn’t at the gay bar. You must be mistaking me for someone else. How would I have gotten along with Mel tonight if I were there? You really need to get this idea of me being queer out of your mind. I’m sorry, but I am not going to apologize for liking girls.” 

“Nobody is fucking asking you to apologize for that. I am just asking for a little bit of actual honesty. You know about me, so why are you hiding so much? I can help you. There is nothing wrong with being queer. I am willing to work through this with you, despite all of the horrid things you have said to me, because I am your friend and I know you are scared. It doesn’t have to be this way, Jayce. Things can get better. There is still time.” Viktor pleaded, both angry and defeated at this point. He just wanted honesty, and that was the last thing he was getting at the moment. 

Jayce began to cower again, not knowing what to say and feeling embarrassed that Viktor had read him like a book. In truth, Viktor was right. He was a queer, he wanted Viktor, and he was playing pretend, trying to hide it. He was harming his relationship with his partner just to protect the fragile image of himself that he clung so hard to. He just wanted to be normal and make his mother proud. He wanted to accept Viktor’s help, but could not bring himself to. 

“I can't talk about this anymore,” Jayce said quietly, then shuffled his way into the bathroom for some privacy. As he closed the door behind him, he let out a sigh of relief. He looked at himself in the mirror and saw a broken man, a liar, and a hypocrite. He could not get Viktor’s words out of his mind. Once again, he splashed water in his face but it did nothing. 

He couldn’t deny that he was still attracted to Viktor. He wanted his partner more than anything. He and Viktor just clicked, and it scared Jayce to death. The way Viktor made Jayce feel, the warmth and the butterflies, sent fear surging through his body. Jayce did not know how to cope. He couldn’t be that, but he was. Jayce began to hyperventilate, the beginning of a panic attack. He tried to slow his breathing, but to no avail. His mind just kept racing about the night's happenings. 

And Viktor did see him at the gay bar, but he would refuse to admit that. That would open up a whole can of worms he was not ready to deal with yet. 

The more time Jayce spent alone in the bathroom, cowering away from the confrontation with his partner, the more guilty he felt. He didn’t want to treat Viktor like that. The other man certainly did not deserve it. Viktor had not done anything wrong, and yet Jayce’s brain was telling him to scream at the other man and push him away so he could stay in his safe little bubble of pretending to be something that he wasn’t. 

Viktor threatened that bubble, and this terrified Jayce. With his sexy accent and his brilliant mind, what was not to like about the other man? And Jayce could never forget that Viktor was amazing at giving blowjobs. But he just could not let himself succumb to the temptations. He needed to be the man he was supposed to be. For himself and for his family. 

Once Jayce had thoroughly calmed down, eyes still bloodshot from tears, he walked out of the bathroom. He returned to find Viktor hunched over at his respective desk, scribbling in his notes under the lamplight. 

Jayce hesitated to ask at first, but thought it best to break the ice somehow. “What are you working on?” 

“Looking at the different chemical structures of different plastic polymers. Trying to find a new combination that is more sustainable and leads to less waste when produced.” Viktor said in a tight tone, clearly not wanting to speak to Jayce at the moment. However, just when Jayce was about to turn around and give up, Viktor added, The calculations are hard but intriguing. I always enjoy complex chemical compounds,” with a slight smile. Jayce took this as a small win; at least Viktor is still talking to him. 

The two men continue to talk about their upcoming research deadlines, but Jayce can sense a guarded tone within Viktor’s voice. He seemed almost emotionless, protecting himself. Viktor was treating him similarly to when they first met. That spark of friendship and closeness seemed to have been snuffed out by the night's confrontation. After another hour of pure research talk, in a much less friendly manner than before, Jayce decided it was time to head to bed. 

Once in bed, Jayce lay staring at the ceiling while Viktor stayed hunched over at his desk, scribbling away in his notebook, contemplating the choices he made that night. Jayce had a suspicion that Viktor was high out of his mind, which did not make him feel any better about the argument. In fact, it just made him feel worse. His partner was going downhill quickly, and Jayce just ruined any chance he had of getting close enough to help. 

They had been growing so close over the past few weeks. Ideas were forming, and their minds were connecting. Jayce noticed Viktor taking pills here and there, which he said were for his pain, but Jayce always noticed a change in Viktor's demeanor after a dose. Nothing that raised too many alarm bells, but the state Viktor had returned to the dorm tonight was worrying. And to think he had all of those things to say while inebriated just went to show Jayce what Viktor really thought about him. No inhibitions held Viktor back this time. It was all the truth. Jayce was exhausted. Jayce was broken. Jayce was a lost cause, a closet case that would never find happiness. 

***

Over the next few weeks Jayce and Mel began to hang out more. Jayce spent less time at the lab and more time going on dates, studying, and spending time with Mel. They had grown quite close, and Jayce felt strong feelings of friendship for the woman, but deep down he knew he felt nothing deeper. 

All of this time spent with Mel meant he was spending less time with Viktor, both in their dorm and in the lab. He missed being around the other man, but Jayce and Mel were officially going steady now, so Jayce had duties as a boyfriend. Of course, he wanted to spend more time with Viktor, but he felt extremely obligated to spend most of his time with his new girlfriend in order to be the good straight boyfriend he was fighting for his life to be. 

But even so, he missed Viktor a lot. He missed their late-night study sessions. He missed their late nights in the lab bouncing ideas off one another. He missed the excitement on Viktor’s face when he finally reached a breakthrough in his research and calculations. It had felt as if there was a hole in his heart that could not be filled, no matter how much he tried to fill it by spending more time with Mel. 

Now, Jayce knew Mel was uppercrust, but he had no idea how much money her family really had until they had started dating. Mel had began to bring him to many fancy galas with exceedingly well endowed people. Quickly Jayce realized he was being down off. He knew he was a handsom man, but he felt as if he was a zoo animal with everyone staring at him, and doting on his good looks and charm. Despite some of the looks they got for being an interracial couple, Mel’s family was high status enough that those were few and far between within these galas. 

Mel also began to use Jayce as leverage. She would talk about his research and prestige at Piltover Acadamy, and this got many of the older white investors interested in whatever Mel was trying to gain at the moment. Jayce did not like being used as a pawn, but he resonated that this was the price to pay to settle down and have a family with someone he could at least tolerate. 

One night while in bed Mel had a suggestion. “I think you should use the next event we go to to network and get funding for your research. It would be very helpful when planning and gathering materials, and I am sure Viktor would be excited to have extra funds to spare on parts for your project.” 

“Hmmm” Jayce pondered. “I never even thought of that. I always thought these events were more for you to network, and I was just your eyecandy.” he said with a smirk. 

“Well, in the beginning, yes, a bit, but those involved have grown to like you quite a bit. I think if you talk about your research, they may be intrigued enough to buy in. Some strings may be attached, of course, but that can be handled later. I am good with the diplomatic side of things, as you know. I can handle myself, and I think you can too.” She encouraged. 

Jayce thought about it for a few moments. The funding would be good for his and Viktor’s research, but he had no idea how to market it without his partner there with him. Jayce was good at the social side of gaining sponsors, but Viktor was much better at answering the nitty-gritty science questions and logistics about their research needed for someone to actually invest in them. Jayce was also scared about the strings attached that Mel had mentioned. Jayce knew Viktor would know the right thing to do when faced with a decision like that. 

“Could it be possible for me to bring Viktor, since I would like to gain funding for our big project for the innovators competition, and would not like to do that without him by my side,” he asked. 

“Of course, dear, I think that is a wonderful idea,” Mel said, caressing her fingers down Jayce’s chest. Jayce quickly got uncomfortable and made the excuse that he needed to use the bathroom. He got up and formed a plan on how he was going to ask Viktor to do something he knew he would absolutely hate. This was going to be so fun,  Jayce thought sarcastically. 

Later that night in his and Viktor’s shared dorm, Jayce decided to bring the topic up. 

“So you know how Mel is a Medarda, and they host galas with a lot of rich people looking to invest in promising future projects?” Jayce started. 

Viktor immediately got a sour face at the mention of Mel. “Yes, I am very aware of Ms. Medardas financial and social standing,” he said with disgust. 

“Well, I think it would be a good idea to go to one to gain funding for our research. Especially for our innovator competition project due to the high cost of materials needed in such a short time.” Jayce further explained. 

“Yes, you are quite good at sweet-talking the rich, Mr. Golden Boy. I am sure you could manage that if you set your mind to it.” Viktor still refused to look at Jayce, staring down at his notes on his desk. 

Jayce chuckled nervously, “I was actually hoping you would come with me to the next gala Mel’s mother will be hosting.” Jayce cringed, knowing the most probable answer that would come next. 

“Absolutely not!” Viktor exclaimed. “I will not pander to those capitalistic pigs that are ruining this country. Do you know how they look at people like me, both a queer and a cripple? I am practically free bait for them. I refuse to take part in an event that actively works with people who are against my entire existence. Let alone what those bastards are doing to the world around us.” 

“I know your stances on that, Viktor, and I agree, but please, it’s really important we gain funding.” Jayce pleaded. 

“Why would you even ask something like this of me. I thought we were friends… partners.” Viktor spat. 

“I’m sorry, Viktor. I just hoped that we could spend some time together to be honest. I miss hanging out with you outside of the lab since I’ve been so busy with Mel.” Jayce admitted, his face falling in shame. “We also really do need the funding. The university will definitely not pay for all the parts and materials we need in enough time for the competition. University grant applications take months, and we don't have that time.” 

Viktor finally looked up at Jayce, contemplating his next words. Jayce could not decipher his thoughts as Viktor was very good at hiding what he was thinking when he wanted to. 

“Fine, but I will not be talking much, and if anything derogatory is said about me, I will be leaving immediately, funding be damned,” he conceded. 

Jayce’s whole body relaxed with relief, “Oh my gods, thank you so much. You don’t have to talk much, I will do most of the talking. I just need you there to provide support and your expertise on certain things when needed.” 

Viktor smirked, “Understandable.” However, he immediately got serious again very quickly, “And don’t you dare leave me alone to prance around with your girlfriend. You asked me to go, so I expect that you will not leave me alone and vulnerable to these rich snobs.” Viktor exclaimed, then got quieter and admitted, “I do not want to be forgotten.” 

“No, never Viktor. I could never forget you.” Jayce reassured. 

***

Jayce arrived early at the gala with Mel at his side. She had to be early to help her mother, and he always tagged along. However, he was often left alone for a little while while waiting for the gala to start, while Mel was with her mother. He would join with them, but Ambessa Medarda scared the living daylights out of him. She was a very powerful woman, and he did not want to get on her bad side. 

As Jayce sat alone, he began to wish he had brought Viktor with him early so he'd have some company. Their friendship had continued to grow as time had gone on, and Jayce was starting to get attached. So, Jayce sat at a bench eagerly waiting for the gala to start and Viktor’s arrival. 

People soon started to arrive, and the rooms and halls of the event place were filling up with the same people Jayce had grown to recognize after going to so many of these events. However, there were some new faces at this event that Mel said she’d introduce to him. Apparently, they were big in the funding of engineering projects that they saw promise in. Probably some old engineers who made money off patents and are looking to invest in the future. Jayce just hoped he and Viktor could be the future they were looking for. 

Mel eventually found him sitting in the same spot she had left him in and began to take him around the event hall to mingle with the patrons. Now, Jayce knew he was well-liked, but this took it to a whole new level, one he wasn’t sure he was comfortable with. They treated him as a “golden boy,” as Viktor had begun to call him, and it tended to make him uncomfortable. However, he kept face for his girlfriend and played the part he was meant to play. 

He was in the middle of the main entrance area when he saw Viktor arrive, and the sight before his eyes took Jayce’s breath away. Viktor was wearing a deep blue suit with gold accents and a bowtie to match. He donned a slim black cane that molded to his hand perfectly for comfort. The suit was perfectly tailored to fit his body. Jayce’s eyes were drawn to his slim waist, as he trailed his eyes up and down Viktor, taking in the whole sight of him. 

Jayce began to get heated and felt the familiar warmth of desire pool in his abdomen as he looked at the other man. He needed to cool off, but simply could not take his eyes off Viktor. He looked incredibly handsome and perfect. He was the most beautiful man Jayce had ever seen. Seeing Viktor like this made it very easy to justify their first meeting in hindsight. Jayce really needed to get some control of himself. 

Viktor made his way over to where Jayce and Mel were standing. Jayce could see many patrons around them turn at the sound of the cane. Jayce would think that adults would have more manners, but he saw multiple people stare at Viktor, down at his cane, and at his uneven gate. Anger began to rise in Jayce. Why can’t people mind their business? He knew that Viktor was smarter than anyone, and wished he could show everyone just how amazing Viktor was. 

Jayce looked at Viktor and could tell by his face that he noticed the rude patrons at the gala. Jayce felt a pang of hurt in his heart. He didn’t want Viktor to be treated this way. Jayce was even the one who invited him. How could he be so stupid as to convince him to come? Viktor knew this would happen, and this was only the start. God knows what will come later when people actually start talking with him. Jayce wishes he could go back in time and just listen to Viktor’s protests and accept the other man's wishes. If anything bad happened tonight, it would be Jayce’s fault.

“Am I interrupting?” Viktor asked, pulling Jayce from his thoughts and back into the moment. 

“No, no, not at all!” answered Mel. “Jayce and I were just getting started with the mingling.” 

Jayce just continued to stare at Viktor, breathless and looking at the other man’s waist and back up to his jawline. Leave it to Viktor to render Jayce, a man who was calm under pressure, breathless. His mind was still reeling from the sight of Viktor and the realization of the rude stares Viktor had to deal with on a daily basis. 

With a hesitant pause, Viktor sent a strange glance towards Jayce before continuing on. “It is nice to meet you, Ms. Medarda, in a more appropriate setting, I mean,” Viktor smirked. 

Both Mel and Jayce blushed, “Well, I’ll be honest, I am just glad to see you in better shape than when we first met. You looked quite unwell and shaken up. I am so sorry for the intrusion.” 

Viktor glanced at Jayce again, “It is all forgiven,” Viktor said, donning a smile that Jayce could see did not meet his eyes. 

Afterwards, looking Jayce right in the eye, despite Jayce’s lack of words, Viktor looked him up and down with a true flirtatious smile. “You look nice tonight, Mr. Talis.” Jayce’s brain stopped working. “And you to Ms. Medarda,” he said, clearly as an afterthought and still looking at Jayce. 

“Oh, thank you, Viktor, and please no more of the professional niceties, we are all friends after all. Call me Mel,” she said, attempting to compensate for Jayce’s clear lack of conscious thought right now. Viktor gave a small hum in response and looked back at Jayce. 

Jayce could still not stop thinking about how good Viktor looked. How was it possible for one man to render him so speechless after just looking at him? That’s all it was, right? Jayce was definitely reading too much into how Viktor was looking at him. He needed to cool down and focus. Jayce should just be thankful the other man was here, as it was all he asked. 

He needed to get his shit together; he should not be this caught up on his partner when his girlfriend was right next to him. Just then, Jayce realized, he hadn’t even noticed what Mel was wearing, nor did he have this reaction when she gave him the same look when he got to the gala. 

Mel was politely trying to converse with Viktor, but the other man was giving answers with as few words as possible. Jayce could hear them talking, but he was not able to process what the words being said were. Jayce was caught in a sudden panic in his head. He could not figure out a reason why the sight of Viktor tonight took his breath away, but never even noticed what Mel was wearing. Well, he could, but it was not anything that he wanted to look any further into. 

“Ms. Medarda!” a voice came from across the room, luckily pulling Jayce from his thoughts. 

“Oh! Looks like someone needs a word with me,” said Mel. “Come love!” she said as she grabbed Jayce’s hand and began to drag him away from Viktor. 

Jayce knew he had promised Viktor he wouldn’t leave him, but Mel was leading him away with quite force. He knew she didn’t mean it, but she didn’t know what Viktor being here meant to him. “Wait! Wait!” he pleaded, but Mel kept walking. He knew Mel meant well, but she could be quite task-minded. 

“Viktor!” Jayce cried out. He could see the other man look up and meet his eyes, “I’ll be right back, just stay close!” Jayce saw Viktor’s face fall before he was dragged into a group of people who apparently required Mel’s immediate attention. 

“Oh, Ms. Medarda, it is a pleasure to see you here tonight. I was worried you’d have run off at the mention of your mother’s involvement in the affairs,” said a skinny guy with bleached-blond hair that Jayce had never seen before. Jayce couldn’t believe the audacity of this man, talking to Mel like she was a child. 

Luckily, Mel’s demeanor never faltered. “Well, if you must know, Salo, my mother and I have come to a truce. Not that it is any of your business,” she said, sending a sharp glare at the other man. 

Jayce knew all too well how calculated Mel’s movements, intentions, and decisions all were. Clearly, so did this other man, Salo, as he immediately backed off and turned to Jayce, as if he were searching for any weakness to be found. 

“And who might you be?” Salo asked Jayce, looking him up and down. 

Jayce noted that it felt nothing like when Viktor did the same. This time, it felt quite threatening, but Jayce maintained his composure as well as he could. Before he could speak, Mel cut in. 

“This is my beau, Jayce Talis. He is a graduate student at Piltover Academy,” she said. 

“Well, hello, Mr. Talis, it is nice to meet you.” Salo extended his hand for Jayce to shake. Jayce returned the gesture but felt increasingly uncomfortable. As he looked around at the group of people, he felt as if he were being scrutinized. All eyes were on him. 

“What’s your major?” asked another man in the group. 

“Uh, mechanical engineering,” Jayce responded, trying to keep his cool. 

“Ah, I see, you’ve got a smart one here, Ms. Medarda,” the same man said as he looked between both him and Mel. 

“Don’t I know it!” Mel smiled. “Jayce would actually love to chat with all of you about possible investments. He is competing this year in the distinguished innovators competition, and graduate funding does not quite make the cut for what he needs for his new invention.” 

Mel always had a way of getting what she wanted, and this was clearly no different. Jayce knew she would go tooth and nail with everyone in here if it got Jayce the funding he needed. She was loyal and calculated. However, now was not the time for this. 

“I apologize, but I really don’t feel comfortable talking through possible funding investments without my partner here with me, as it is a joint project. Viktor should be around here somewhere.” Jayce said as he began to look around, but before he had the chance to find his partner, Salo cut in. 

“A partnership? I’ve heard of partnered projects for the competition, but it does tend to be rare.” Salo said, pulling Jayce away from his visual search. 

“Yeah, I know it’s not the norm, but when both of us put our minds together, it’s like the ideas flow like a river,” Jayce said with a blushing smile, one he hoped the others did not notice. However, Jayce was not so lucky that night. 

Salo’s eyes squinted and looked at Jayce with a quizzical look. “So who is this partner of yours?” 

Jayce began to smile, “His name is Viktor Hornik! He's a chemical engineering major. The brightest person I have ever met. His mind is truly astonishing. I’d love for you to meet him and talk about our project and possible investments, if you’ll excuse me, I can go find him.” Jayce said as he began to pull away from the group. 

“Viktor Hornik?” came a cutting voice from the group, stopping Jayce in his tracks. 

“Yeah?” Jayce said, confused by the other man's tone. 

“Isn’t that the cripple I see you walk around with on campus a bunch?” the same unknown man spat. 

“I mean, yeah, but don’t call him that man, he’s more than a person with a cane,” Jayce said, anger rising at the clear insult to his friend. 

“Eh, survival of the fittest is what I say. To be honest, I also thought that you were a couple of queers, since you're always hanging out with him on campus. I rarely see you two apart, but I am glad to be mistaken. There’s no doubt that he’s a fag, but you and Mel make a fine couple, despite your… differences.” 

Now Jayce was truly angry for both Viktor and Mel, but the scared part of his brain took over. “Oh! Gods no! "I'm not a fucking fairy,” he said, and the whole group of people laughed. Somehow, after that, the conversation morphed into less serious topics. The men around them were laughing and conversing with Mel as if nothing had happened. 

Jayce, however, could not believe what had just happened, let alone what he had just said. The way that these people just talk down on people who are different than them, even to people straight to their face. He wanted to stick up for Mel and Viktor, but instead, he defended himself. The vile words out of his mouth made him no better than these men around him. Could Mel think he agreed with the white men around them? Not to mention the other comment, what if Viktor had heard? Jayce felt disgusted with himself. 

Jayce quickly excused himself to leave the situation. Feeling like the gunk at the bottom of a barrel, he stumbled towards the drink table and downed a glass of champagne. Feeling the alcohol hit his stomach did not help the nausea his guilt was creating. He knew he needed to find Viktor, which would make him feel better. It always did. 

Jayce searched for what felt like forever when he finally found Viktor in the corner of the room, sitting in a chair, giving dirty looks to anyone who tried to approach him. Jayce approached the other man, “Hey Viktor! I am so sorry for ditching you for so long, it was like I was being held hostage,” he called, but was shot an even more disgusted and hurt look towards Jayce. “Hey, are you ok?” 

“I am leaving, Jayce,” Viktor said grumpily, as he used his cane to stand up and make his way towards the front door. 

“Oh… ok, can I walk you home?” Jayce tried, grabbing for Viktor’s arm. 

“No,” Viktor said sharply. Eyes trained on his feet as he pulled his arm away from Jayce. 

A pang of hurt stabbed Jayce in the chest. He didn’t know what had happened between them. “Look, I am really sorry for leaving you to talk with others, but I’ve come to get you so we can talk to possible investors.”

“No, I am going home. Alone.” Viktor said angrily. Jayce thought he might detect a sound of hurt in Viktor’s voice, but he wasn’t fully sure. 

“Please let me walk you home. I don’t want anything to happen to you.” 

“Oh, cause I obviously can’t take care of myself.” Viktor spat.

“No! That's not what I meant at all. I just mean you’re my friend and I care about you. It’s late at night, and I’d like to walk home with you.” Jayce pleaded. 

“Well, I will be fine.” 

“Please just let me do this. It’s the least I can do. I will not take no for an answer.” Jayce’s tone turned more intense. 

Viktor must have noticed, because he finally looked Jayce in the eyes. All Jayce could see was a look of hurt and betrayal, and Jayce’s stomach dropped. Viktor immediately looked back down at his feet, clearly thinking. Jayce hoped that in the brief eye contact they had, Viktor could see the pleading look in his eyes. 

“Fine,” Viktor said, monotone and emotionless. He began to walk to the door, Jayce trailing behind him. 

As they walked home, Jayce had tried talking to Viktor multiple times, but was quickly shut down. Viktor would give short answers that quickly shut down any chance of more conversation. 

The entire way home, Jayce was wondering why Viktor was being so curt with him and quiet. Jayce had left Viktor alone when he promised him he would not leave him during the gala, but surely that would garner this amount of cold shoulder from his friend. 

“Hey, is everything ok?” Jayce asked. 

“Yes, it's fine, Jayce.” Viktor quickly responded. 

“But-” Jayce was cut off. 

“I’m tired, Jayce, let's just go home,” Viktor said, speeding up his pace away from Jayce, despite his leg most likely bothering him. Jayce continued to worry as they slowly made their way back to the dorm. 

Once back to the dorm, Viktor immediately sat down at his desk and began scribbling in a notebook. Jayce tried to put a hand on Viktor’s shoulder to get his attention, but Viktor immediately flinched away as if he had been touched by acid. At that moment, Jayce noticed that Viktor was shaking and scratching at his arms. 

Deciding it was probably best to leave Viktor alone, Jayce decided to head to the shower. He undressed in the room, sending glances towards Viktor, but only saw him scribbling in his notes, and at one point reaching into his desk drawer and taking some unknown pills that Jayce had seen him take before. Viktor was sitting there in clothes that were most likely uncomfortable to lounge at one's desk. Jayce wanted to help, but he didn’t know what to do. 

Once Jayce was in the shower, his mind continued to roam. He didn’t mean to leave Viktor alone for so long, and come to think of it, it was no more than five minutes. Viktor had a right to be upset with Jayce, but the situation didn’t seem to garner the complete lack of interest in engaging with Jayce. He hadn’t even given Jayce the courtesy of telling him what was wrong. 

That night was supposed to be his and Viktor’s night. What could have gone wrong? Jayce came to the conclusion that Viktor would hopefully be more open to talking about it with him and that things would hopefully be back to normal tomorrow. Viktor did tend to get in moods like this sometimes, especially when he began to scratch at his skin and shake. Jayce had noticed this correlation, but trusted the other man could take care of himself, and the pills always seemed to help, so Jayce assumed it was his medication. Thinking it was most likely one of Viktor’s grumpy, out-peopled moments eased Jayce's mind. 

Jayce began to watch his body as he continued to think of Viktor. As he washed his body, his mind wandered to how Viktor looked tonight when he looked at him. That suit and tie looked amazing on him. His friend truly could clean up when the time called for it. Jayce continued to visualize the way Viktor looked in his outfit as he moved his hands down to wash the lower half of his body. He thought of the suit, Viktor’s smile when he saw Jayce, and the perfect way his hair lay that night. 

Jayce began to feel the familiar feeling of desire pooling down below as he got lost in his thoughts. Shit. Jayce looked down, and his erection was growing. He debated whether to turn the cold water on and have it go away, but it had been a while since he had indulged himself in self-pleasure. 

Viktor wrapped his hand around himself, and a jolt of pleasure ran up his spine. He began to pump his hand at a pace that felt incredible. As the pleasure grew, he began to think of none other than his roommate. Viktor crowded his thoughts. He tried thinking of Mel as he stroked himself, but his orgasm refused to get closer. Against his will, more images of Viktor from that night began to creep into the forefront of his mind. 

Jayce decided he should chase the pleasure of the now and worry about what it meant later. Jayce rubbed his thumb over his tip, remembering how Viktor's tongue felt during their first meeting. This sent jolts of pleasure up his spine and through his limbs. Jayce was in a state of pure bliss. 

He was increasingly reaching his orgasm and could feel himself begin to whimper. Jayce began to jerk himself fast, quickly reaching the finish. His mind was clouded with thoughts of how Viktor’s mouth felt as he swallowed Jayce deep inside his mouth. Jayce had never felt as good as that night he shared with Viktor. 

Jayce quickly came with a moan at the thought of Viktor calling him a good boy. As his orgasm pulsed through him, ropes of cum spurted out of his dick and went down the drain. Jayce stared down at his softening dick still in his hand, realizing what he had just done. 

He had just jerked off to the thought of his roommate and lab partner. No, he had just jerked off to the thought of a man. Jayce was not gay; Jayce could not be gay. He had told himself this time and time again, yet these things still keep happening. Viktor will just not leave his brain. He didn’t know what it was about the other man, but he was so captivating that Jayce could not stay away. 

However, Jayce then began to think of Mel. Did this count as cheating? Jayce didn’t know the answer to that, and it scared him. He didn’t want to hurt Mel, and he certainly did not want to mess up what they had going. Sure, he tended to have to think about Viktor when they would be intimate, but he still cared about Mel and wanted to be with her. He had always wanted a wife and kids, and he would do anything to achieve that. He wanted to make his family proud. 

Jayce rinsed off and got out of the shower, feeling guilty as hell and ashamed of what he had done. He quickly got dressed in his night clothes and came out of the bathroom. Viktor was sitting at his desk, noticeably more relaxed than before. 

“Hey, what are you working on?” Jayce tried. 

“Nothing of import, I’m busy, good night, Jayce,” Viktor said in a dismissive tone, his body visibly stiffening at hearing Jayce speak. 

“Alright, night, Viktor,” Jayce said. Viktor glanced up to look at Jayce and made quick eye contact with him. Jayce could see hurt in his eyes and something else, but Viktor looked away too quickly for him to tell. 

Jayce got into bed and tried to fall asleep. However, he could not find it in himself to drift off with all of the thoughts of Viktor racing around his head.