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Hayden can’t believe he just outed his best friend, in a fucking fanmail video. He’s been keeping this secret for months now and it just exploded across the world because some motherfucker named Brad couldn’t be a decent human being. Though, he can’t necessarily blame the guy too much since Hayden was the one who didn’t check the video before uploading it.
He’s currently on the way to Shane’s house because he knows his best friend, the most anxious man alive, is probably panicking alone with nobody there to help him. He had no idea if Rozanov was home, but Hayden wanted to be there either way. It was his fault this happened, so he was going to be the one to help in any way he could.
Hayden can't help but panic on his drive over, his thoughts running rapid fire in his mind. What if Shane never wants to speak to him again? What if he just caused Shane to lose his career, the thing that’s been his whole life since he was a fucking kid? What if Rozanov is already on his way to assassinate him? Okay, he can admit that the last one may be a bit of an exaggeration…he hopes.
Hayden pulls into the familiar drive way, wrenching the car door open and running to the front door. He bangs on the door quickly, anxiously waiting for Shane to open it. He really should hire a hitman against himself, he’s such a terrible friend.
Before he could plan his own demise any further, the door opened. Shane stood in nothing but sweatpants. He wasn’t panicking like Hayden thought he would be, he looked- happy?
“Hayden, what are you doing here? It’s like seven in the morning?” Shane said, his tone confused but calm.
“Dude, I’m so sorry, I’m so fucking stupid, I swear I didn’t mean to!” The words spill out of Hayden’s mouth in a panicked mess, apologies overlapping each other in his urgency.
“Hayden- what? Are you okay? What’s going on, come inside, sit down.” Shane guides him inside, leading him to the living room, setting him down on the couch before sitting in the chair across from him.
Hayden sat with his head between his legs for a while, trying to think about how he can apologise for how stupid he is, how he can’t keep a fucking secret to save his life. “I can’t believe you’re still willing to talk to me” he manages to get out, his voice weak.
“Hayden, what’s going on? Why wouldn’t I talk to you?” Shane’s tone was confused, moving to sit next to Hayden and put a hand on his shoulder.
Hayden jerked his head up in shock, face to face with a very confused looking Shane. Something dawned on him suddenly. “Holy shit- you haven’t heard?” He said, stunned. Oh my god he doesn’t know yet.
“Heard what?”
Hayden just stared at him in silence, his face frozen in shock. The silence makes Shane feel a pit form in his stomach, his anxiety rising. Something serious has happened and he has no idea what. Why else would Hayden drive in a panic to his house at seven in the fucking morning?
“Hayden, heard what? You’re freaking me out man.” Shane said, an edge of anxiety creeping into his tone.
“I kind of..” Hayden started, not wanting to say it out loud.
“Yes?” Shane quickly gestured for him to keep going “You kind of what, Hayden.”
“I kind of outed you and Rozanov?” Hayden finally said, wincing. He watched as Shane froze, processing the words. The colour bled out of his face quickly, making him look pale and clammy. He could see the panic rising, waiting for it to explode out.
“What?” Shane exclaimed, shooting up from the couch and started pacing in front of Hayden. He had his hands on his head, and Hayden could see how fast his mind was spinning.
“I’m so sorry.” Hayden said pathetically. This was exactly what he was worried about, his friend spiraling because Hayden was fucking stupid. He can’t believe he didn’t fucking check the video before posting it, he has every other time.
“What the fuck- how did you do that?” Shane practically yelled out, throwing his hands into the air, pacing faster.
Hayden dropped his head again, rapidly trying to explain himself. “You guys were making out in the background of one of my fanmail videos and I didn’t notice and the guy screen recorded it and posted it everywhere and-” he was cut off by loud laughter. Hayden quickly looked up again, seeing that Shane had stopped pacing and was currently bent over laughing, his face turning red with the lack of air.
“That’s a terrifying reaction…what’s funny?” Hayden looked concerned. Is his friend going insane? Did he break him? Did he make his friend finally lose it? What the fuck is happening?
After a few moments, Shane was finally able to calm down enough to speak up, “You- have a fanmail?” He said, giggles still escaping him. He had tears in his eyes, his face still pink from laughing so hard.
“I- What?” Hayden managed to get out, confusion taking over any concern he had.
“Why do you have a fanmail?” Shane looked like he was trying not to burst into laughter again.
“Are you being for real right now?” Hayden just stared at him, mouth open in shock. He really is losing it.
“Hayden what do you mean you have a fanmail?” Shane snorts, sitting back down. His lips are pressed together, trying not to laugh again. Hayden suddenly felt offence rush through him.
“What’s wrong with that?” he asked Shane. It was good money! He has four kids for god’s sake, if a few stupid videos help bring money in, who was he to complain.
‘What were you recording? A birthday message? Advice?” He snorts again, covering his mouth with his hand.
“I mean- do the details really matter right now?” Hayden still felt wildly confused, this was not the conversation he thought he’d be having when he was on the drive over.
“Hayden, is this a safe space?” Shane had his eyes closed.
“It honestly isn’t feeling like one right now.” Hayden claimed, eyeing his friend.
“Safe space for me.” Shane opened his eyes again, staring at Hayden.
“Sure.”
“I’m like- respecting you a little less right now.” Shane tried clamping down a smile, looking like he’s seeing Hayden in a different light. “You signed up for fanmail and Jackie didn’t leave you?”
“What- Shane!?” Hayden yelled out shocked. “Why would she leave me? It’s not that serious!”
“I’m just saying, if Ilya told me ‘I’m doing fanmail now’, I would have to leave him.”
“I- Shane we’re getting off topic, this is serious! I outed you! Aren’t you worried? What are we going to do?” Hayden said, slightly hysterical. He had no idea what was happening right now.
“I’ll be really sick and scared and maybe throw up about it later because this is really horrible and embarrassing, but not more embarrassing than having a fanmail” Shane said, letting out the laughs he was trying to keep in.
Hayden let out a deep sigh, feeling like he’s aged ten years since the beginning of this conversation. “I should’ve just hired a hitman on myself.” He said, resigned.
Shane stopped laughing at that. ‘What?” He asked before the sound of a door opening interrupted them. Footsteps were heard before Rozanov appeared, looking like he just woke up, his hair a mess.
“Good morning” He said in a deep voice, his accent slurring the words. Rozanov looked at the two, processing who was actually in front of him. The sleepy smile he had scrunched into a look of disgust. “Ew, why is Pike here? Is too early to see bad hockey player in our house.”
Okay fuck you. Hayden thought as he looked at the man.
“Oh, um you might want to sit down.” Shane spoke up, gesturing for the man to sit on one of the chairs.
“Oh God.” Hayden said, realizing that he has to tell Rozanov about what he did as well. He really hopes his earlier thoughts about the Russian assassinating him were false.
“So…Hayden accidentally outed us..via fanmail” Shane said the last word with restrained laughter, looking like he was trying to keep a straight face.
“What the- Pike has fanmail?” Rozanov looked panicked as he took in what Shane told him before his face turned bright, a smirk growing on his lips.
Both Shane and Rozanov looked at each other before they burst into laughter, their faces bright red as they lost it. Hayden just sat there both offended and concerned. Is it really that crazy for him to have fanmail? Half the team uses it, why is he the only one getting any heat for it?
“Wait, why does Pike have fanmail?” Rozanov asked between laughs, tears running down his face.
“I don’t fucking know” Shane burst out, trying to catch his breathe and failing miserably.
“Does he need help? Does he have a GoFundMe?” Rozanov asked, setting the two off again.
Hayden just sat there staring. If this is the punishment he has to take because of what he did, he guesses he’ll just have to deal with it. He knows that the two of them will panic about it later, so he just makes himself comfortable and waits for them to calm down.
This has got to be the weirdest fucking morning of his life.