Chapter Text
Somehow, Varric managed to fall into a dreamless sleep. One of the reasons he was glad to be a dwarf. He couldn’t imagine how terrible the night would have been if he had closed his eyes only to be plagued in his sleep by the events of the day. He gave a heavy sigh as he stretched from where he laid and froze at the feeling of warmth against his back. Not that he was complaining at being cozy when he fully expected to once again wake up, cold on the ground as was custom whenever their little band traveled anywhere.
Slowly, he pushed himself up, casting a glance behind him as he peered through the still grey of the morning. Somehow during the night, the Seeker had turned over to curl up closer to his back during the night. He nearly snorted as he glanced over her relaxed features, the crease that she normally sported between her brow was gone, taking years off of her features. She looked peaceful.
He groaned and shook his head as he turned from her. He could still feel the lingering headache from the events of yesterday and last night and he had no desire to start it up again with the Seeker this early in the morning just because she woke up to find him studying her.
Varric pushed himself away from her, scooting down on his bedroll while he reached for his pack at the foot of his bed and searched for his soap. As long as he was up, he might as well get a headstart on getting ready. The sooner they were back at Skyhold, the sooner he could forget about…
His thoughts were halted suddenly as his fingers brushed against a folded up scrap of parchment under his bar of soap. He kept all of his parchment rolled up neatly with the ink and quills he had in a special canister he wore on his belt, for when inspiration would suddenly strike. He knew that this wasn’t his and he could feel his stomach twist in knots as he pulled it out and flicked the note open. He was met with the familiar, delicate script of Bianca’s handwriting. An address was written in the middle of the page along with a quick “come stop by and see my new workshop.”
He closed his eyes at the onslaught of emotions that washed over him. Varric scrubbed at his face, stopping the groan he could feel trying to work its way out of his throat. The emotions that swirled around him, he thought, were probably enough to give him a heart attack. “Nevermind red lyrium, Corypheus and demons,” he muttered under his breath. He closed his eyes as he thought about it. No matter how angry he was, she had at the core of her actions, been trying to look out for him. Even though he specifically told her not to mess with that shit. Then, maybe they could have a chance to talk it out without the prying eyes of the Inquisitor or the Seeker judging them.
Varric knew it was a bad idea, but that seemed to be what dictated his life now. He shoved the note back inside his pack, mentally ticking off what he would need to do for the assassins that would no doubt be coming after him in the near future. He shook his head and grabbed the soap out of his pack and headed out of the tent, cursing himself the whole way to the river.
It surprised Cassandra to wake to an empty tent. Normally, she was the first in camp to wake up and Varric the last. She wondered if perhaps she’d overslept, but no. The light told her it was still early morning. With a yawn, she stretched and got up, pulled on her armor, and headed outside. She could hear Solas and the Inquisitor starting to wake and she wrinkled her nose at their tent as she remembered all the sounds from the night before. Part of her was tempted to scold them, but at the same time, it was rather romantic and she couldn’t bring herself to say anything.
She stopped in her tracks when she saw Varric on a horse, looking like he was ready to head out. “Why are you up so early?” she asked suspiciously. It was usually like pulling teeth to try to get him up when they were out on missions, and back at Skyhold he was known to sleep in until lunch. She sighed. “Give me a moment and I’ll have the tent down and we can head back to Skyhold,” she said, thinking he must’ve just been eager to get back and put some space between himself and everything that had happened the day before.
Varric looked over to the Seeker as he finished securing his pack to the saddle, picking up the reins to the horse. He didn’t much care for travel, but he was going to be damned if he rode a blasted pony. “No need, Seeker,” he said cooly, remembering their spat from last night, “I’ve got some business I need to take care of and I thought I’d be nice and give you the peace and quiet on your way back to Skyhold.” He could see the look of distrust forming in her eyes as well as the little crease back between her brow. He forced himself not to roll his eyes. “Don’t worry, I won’t be giving away any Inquisition secrets. This is just… something I have to take care of,” he muttered and looked off into the distance a moment before he cast a glance at the Inquisitor’s tent as the two elves emerged, “I’ll be back in Skyhold before you know it. A few days.”
Ellana was surprised to see him about to depart, but she gave a nod. After everything that had happened with Bianca, she couldn’t blame him for wanting some time to himself. “Alright, Varric,” she said. If he said he would be back, she believed him. “We’ll see you when you get back.”
Now Cassandra’s curiosity was really killing her, but she wasn’t in the mood for another argument. Especially with how cold he was being that morning. Part of her wondered if he’d truly return to Skyhold or not. It wasn’t like he wanted to be there in the first place. “Do you really intend to…” She stopped herself. He was no longer her prisoner, she’d tried to send him away when it all first began. He could make his own choices. “Never mind,” she muttered and turned to go back to the tent to gather up her things for the return journey to Skyhold.
Varric heard the unspoken question in her voice and he spared the woman a look as he gripped the strips of leather in his hands tighter. “Don’t worry, Seeker. I wouldn’t dream of running off now. I’d hate for you to waste your time kidnapping me again,” he said and turned his horse towards the path and urged it forward. He could hear her muttered ‘Ugh’ and he couldn’t stop the little curve of his lips upwards. Something about getting on her last nerves just made him feel a little better. He looked at the road ahead, wondering what the hell he was doing.
He wondered all the way as he made his way to the address on the scrap of paper in his pack. Bianca’s workshop. She would have beaten him there, she was a bit of a night owl on a normal day. He knew she would have traveled during the night to get back home. Not too mention, it was easier to sneak in and out of the house without being seen under the cover of darkness. He shook his head and scrubbed at his face as he looked up at the afternoon sun as he neared a house on the outskirts of Val Royeaux.
Looking around, he could admire the location and the discretion with which people could come and go. No doubt something that Bianca had specified whenever she and what’s his name were looking to build. Maybe he’d get lucky this time and there wouldn’t be any assassins to come from this little side trip of his. He dismounted with great care, still landing on the ground in a way that made his knees hurt. He gave the horse a look as he brushed the dust from his pants and stood up straighter to run a hand over his hair. He felt apprehensive about what was to come, the events of yesterday still heavy on his mind. He would hear her out. He owed her that much, he figured as he went up and knocked on the door. The sound seemed to echo around him.
As was the norm for her, Bianca was leaned over a table in her workshop, tinkering away with her newest project late into the evening. She gave a little jump when she heard the knock at the door and she nearly shouted that the shop was closed, but then her heart gave a little leap. She hurried over to the door and flung it open, a smile splitting her face when she saw Varric there. Without a word, she grabbed his wrist, yanked him into the shop, and slammed the door behind him. “Varric,” she breathed, butterflies in her stomach. It seemed ages since they’d had a moment alone together. She threw her arms around his neck and crushed her lips to his, her eyes fluttering shut as a sigh escaped her.
Varric blinked, his arms suddenly full of the woman. Her enthusiasm was enough to push him back into the closed door as she eagerly pressed herself against him. His heart gave a lurch and he couldn’t stop himself as his eyes slid closed and he held her for just a moment kissing her. He forced himself to lift his arms, grasping hers as he pushed her away. “Bianca, stop.” he said, looking at her pleadingly, “We can’t do that this time. Shit, Bianca.” He breathed and let go of her when he was certain she wouldn’t jump in his arms again. “I’m still upset.”
Bianca was hurt and confused. “What do you mean we can’t?” she asked. “Bogdan won’t be home for days.” She paused, seeing the look in his eyes. “You’re still mad about the lyrium.” She sighed and took a step back from him. “I know I should have listened to you. I never should have let anyone else know about it. I know I was wrong, I know I messed up. But I’ve done everything I can to make it right. Varric, I’m sorry,” she said softly. She felt guilty enough as it was without him being angry with her. She didn’t know if she could take that as well. “If I could undo it, I would. I would in a heartbeat. I didn’t mean for this to happen.”
He felt terrible at the look in her eyes, but shit, he couldn’t even begin to stress how disappointed he was. “I wish you had listened, trusted me. When have I ever steered you wrong?” he asked, as he pinched the bridge of his nose, “I told you to stay away from it for a reason and now the damage has been done. Taking back the key after all the lyrium is already out in the world does little good to all the lives it’s claimed in the years since you let it get out. Lives that are now, by the way, weighing heavily on my shoulders again. I am sick and tired of screwing up like this, Bianca! I trusted you.”
Her eyes stung, but she didn’t let herself cry in front of him. She knew. She knew how bad it was. “It wasn’t your fault. It was mine. I should have listened. I just… I wanted to know more about it. I thought I could help if I understood it better. I didn’t mean for all of this to happen.” She covered her face with her hands and drew a deep breath to calm her emotions. She should have known he would want to talk about this more, especially since they were alone. But part of her had expected for him to come in and they’d pick up right where they’d left off, just like they always did. Every time they’d met up before, it was like no time had passed and they easily just fell back into how it had been. But this time, she could see that that was not the case. “What do you want me to do, Varric? How can I make it right? Tell me and I’ll do it.”
Varric let out a shaky breath, their eyes locking together. He frowned at the way her eyes had misted up and he stepped forward, reaching up to cup her cheek as he used his thumb to brush away the wayward drops. It wasn’t like he didn’t understand why she had done what she did. She was curious by nature, always wanting to explore and take things apart until she knew how they worked inside and out. He remembered what she had said in the cave, how she wanted to help Bartrand. “Shit, I don’t know. I just don’t like to see you get hurt. If there’s a way to help Bartrand, this stuff isn’t it. It just corrupts everything it touches. If something happened to you as well, I would never be able to forgive myself. The damage is done.”
She leaned into his touch, her heart fluttering a little at the feel of his warm, calloused palm against her cheek. “I’m sorry, Varric,” she whispered and nuzzled into his hand, pressing a kiss to his palm. “I thought that if I could figure it out, maybe I could help. I know now that’s not the case. If I’d known before, I wouldn’t have done this.” She wasn’t certain what to do now, if he would be receptive to her touch, or if she should give him some space. She took a step closer, and when he didn’t back away, she closed the space between them and wrapped her arms around his neck again. A long sigh escaped her at the feel of him in her arms again. Maker, she missed him.
Varric closed his eyes as she leaned her head against his own and he let out a heavy sigh, as he let his arms come up around her. He was so damn tired of everything. He was conflicted, of course and just for a moment he wished he could have a normal life with this woman. But she couldn’t have what she had now if she had married him. He was still a casteless dwarf and that would only hinder her brilliant mind. He just loathed being the second choice. He opened his eyes, looking into her own pleading pair. “I know,” he murmured, “I know.” He kissed her gently, studying her gaze again before he gave into his own feelings and kissed her firmly, hesitantly pulling her against him as he wrapped his arms around her.
A soft cry escaped Bianca as Varric kissed her. And just like that, everything else seemed to fade away. There was only him, just the two of them in this space all to themselves. With any luck, her family wouldn’t know Varric was there this time, and Bogdan wouldn’t be home for days. They could enjoy each other for hours and hours without a care in the world. “Varric,” she breathed, trailing kisses along his jaw to his neck where she bit at his skin, then sucked until she left a mark. She pressed herself against him and nibbled at his ear. “Take me upstairs,” she breathed hotly, “Make love to me. Stay with me.”
Oh how he was a fool. A slave to her every suggestion and his heart ached at the thought that all they had were these stolen moments. He pulled back from her, studying her face a moment before he moved, picking her up in his arms, drawing a laugh from them both as he only staggered a little bit. “Shit, I’m not in my twenties any more,” he teased, as it was whenever they managed to meet up. After tonight, he wasn’t sure when they would have a chance to meet up again.
He kissed her again as he moved towards the stairs he had spied when he first came in. Force of habit. You had to have an escape route no matter what. He sighed against her as he carried her up the stairs, the living area of the house above her workshop. Between their kisses, Bianca managed to tell him which door led to the bed and soon, he was laying her back on the cool sheets, his hand tangling in her hair as he pushed all other thoughts and worries out of his mind. If just for a little while, he wanted to forget. His nimble fingers went for the ties on her breeches and her shirt, pushing the clothing down over her shoulders, kissing the skin as it was exposed to him.
“Oh Maker,” she gasped as his stubble scraped against her skin, his warm lips teasing her. She pulled at his clothing, stripping it from him until they were both bare. “Mmm, I’ve missed this view,” she purred as her eyes hungrily drank in the vision of him. Her hand reached for his length, her fingers curled around it, and she bit her lip as she began to stroke him. She let her free hand run over his chest, raking her nails through the hair, catching on a nipple as she watched his face for a reaction.
Varric couldn’t stop the shiver that worked through his form as Bianca’s fingers curled around him, her quip familiar in his ear. This was just the same as always, so easy to fall into their usual pattern. At least this time, he didn’t have to make it some quick thing in the darkened corner behind some curtains. He didn’t like being rushed. He groaned as he felt himself hardening further under her ministrations as he let his hands roam over the soft skin he uncovered, cupping her supple breast in his hand, letting his thumb circle of the hardening nipple as he buried his face against her neck. “Bianca,” he sighed, his free hand slipping down to stroke at her slick core.
A cry of pleasure escaped her as he touched her. Oh, he was good. So much better than Bogdan. She nearly frowned at the thought of her husband and pushed him from her mind. Tonight was about Varric, and she didn’t want to think of anything else. She rocked her hips up into his touch, her hand moving faster over his length. “That’s so good,” she breathed and kissed at his shoulder. With her free hand, she wriggled out of her breeches and kicked them away, then pulled at him until she could feel his length against her body. “Please, Varric,” she begged. “I need you. I want you. Please.”
It would take a man with a stronger resolve than himself to resist such a request. He lifted his head, sealing his lips over hers as he trailed his hands over her body a moment before he moved to sit back on his heels as he looked her over. Her face, body was flushed, her nipples a dusky rose. The thought that she wasn’t truly his flashed through his mind, saddening him slightly before he pushed it away and reached down to stroke himself as he slid his finger over her slickness once more, parting her folds with a gentle swipe of his thumb as he moved up to circle her clit as he pressed into her tight heat. “Oh Maker, Bianca,” he groaned as he seated himself within her.
“Varric!” she cried, her throat tightening as she gasped for air. Her mind was already dizzy with pleasure, and they’d only just gotten started. His thumb on her clit was perfect, sending sharp waves of pleasure through her whole body. Her breasts tingled, her toes curled, and another gasp escaped her as his impossibly thick length stretched her body. She hooked one leg over the back of his thigh and pulled him deeper into her as she snapped her hips up to meet him. “That’s it, baby,” she purred, sliding her fingers into his hair. She nibbled at his ear again, moaning softly as his hard length moved within her. “You feel so good inside me.”
He gasped as her breath caressed his ear hotly and he gave a sharp thrust inside of her again, groaning at the decadent sensation of her breath on his ear, her muscles clenching around him just right. “Always did know what to say when I’m at your mercy,” he teased as he leaned down, stealing another kiss from her sweet lips. His blood roared in his ears at the sheer pleasure between them.It was a wonder he heard her heated words at all. “You feel amazing,” he groaned out as he thrust into her over and over.
Bianca clawed at his back, digging her nails into his skin as she bucked up harder, faster, taking him to the hilt. Her core ached with pleasure, a heat pooling and churning low in her belly. “I’m so close,” she breathed as she scratched at his back again. She wanted to make sure when he left, that he would be thinking about this for days. She sucked at his neck again, whimpering as he drove himself into her again. “Varric,” she whined, spreading her legs a little wider, letting him get even deeper inside her. “Varric…” She could feel it, her body tensing up, her muscles contracting around his cock. So close, she was so close… “VARRIC!” she cried out as she came, trembling beneath him as the hot waves of her orgasm consumed her completely.
Feeling Bianca coming undone beneath him, his name a prayer upon her lips was all Varric needed to push him over that blissful edge. His head fell back as he thrust into her once more, calling her name out loudly as he came within her, his length spilling his essence deeply inside of her as he was filled with the bliss of her body. But before he finished, the loud bang of the bedroom door flying open and slamming against the wall behind them caught his attention and he felt his blood freeze in his veins.
Bogdan couldn’t believe his eyes, the bouquet of flowers he had brought home for his love, his wife, fell to the floor as he felt anger and disbelief rush through him. Murder was in his eyes as red filled his vision as he recognized the dwarf taking his wife. “Tethras?!” he roared, his heart crushed to see the love of his life in the throws of passion with this other man. “Bianca, what in the fuck is going on here!?” So much for his plan of surprising his wife with an early return home. His mouth went dry as he tried to find more words, his eyes searching for any weapon he could use to bash in Varric’s head. “You… you’ve betrayed me!”
Bianca practically threw Varric off of her as she stumbled out of the bed. “Bogdan?” she gasped, frantically grabbing up her clothes without taking her eyes off her husband. “You weren’t supposed to be home until next week…” Shit. Shit, shit, shit, she was caught and she didn’t know how she was going to talk her way out of this one. “I… I didn’t mean to,” she gasped as she pulled her clothes on, somehow hoping that would detract from what he’d just seen. Her eyes flickered to the flowers he’d brought and her heart sank. She could see the anger and hurt in his eyes, the fury that flashed there when he looked at Varric, and she moved to put herself between them. “Bogdan, I’m sorry. It’s just, there was a problem and Varric was the only one who could help. When I saw him… I was so lonely while you were away… It was a mistake, Bogdan. Please forgive me. I’m so sorry.”
Bogdan felt more anger flowing through him at her words, his eyes flickering back towards Varric who was hastily throwing on clothes. “A mistake? A MISTAKE?” He growled and kicked the bundle of flowers across the room with a rustle. “Leaving one of your contraptions on all night is a mistake. Forgetting to set the cat outside is a mistake. This? This is a goddamn betrayal! What problem? You couldn’t wait for me to come back home to warm your bed? I was coming home early to surprise you and this is what I find? The two of you rolling around in OUR bed with each other’s names on your lips? I am going to kill you, Varric!”
Varric felt a protectiveness welling up inside of him. He cursed at himself for becoming so overwhelmed in Bianca that he lost focus. He became alarmed as he was finally dressed only to see Bogdan heading for the small fireplace in the room, grabbing up the iron poker resting next to it and his eyes widened. “Bianca,” he breathed, “Shit!” He felt his stomach twist as the man hefted the makeshift weapon in his hands. His mind was at a loss, drawing a blank while he screamed at himself to make up something, to bullshit his way out of it. It was really hard to bullshit when you’d been caught red-handed.
“No! Bogdan, stop!” Bianca screamed and moved again to put herself in front of Varric before Bogdan could swing at her lover. She put her hands up, stepping side to side to block Bogdan as he tried to get around her. “It WAS a mistake! I shouldn’t have contacted Varric, I shouldn’t have done any of this. Call it a mistake, call it a lapse in judgment, call it whatever, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that I regret it and I’m sorry! I’ll never do this again. Just put that thing down, please!” she begged. “I love YOU and no one else. Now please, stop so we can talk about this!”
It was a lie, Varric told himself, the way that Bianca tried to explain her infidelity to her husband, but he had never heard her say that about him. Never. Not in all the years he had known her. She had never called him a mistake. Never said that she regretted anything. He swallowed thickly, his eyes glancing towards the door as he took a small step towards it. “That’s right. Send the assassins, same dance as always,” he muttered.
Bogdan grit his teeth, growling at the two in front of him. “Oh stop, Bianca,” he spat as he raised the poker again, “I know you would lie through your teeth to get whatever you wanted. You are just lying to me to save his bloody hide! He should have never touched you in the first place! Now I’ll make certain he can’t do it again! You are my wife! We took sacred vows. I love you! Does that mean nothing to you?” he asked, his voice reaching a fevered pitch as he glared at Varric.
“You’re right,” Bianca eagerly agreed, desperate to calm Bogdan down. “This never should have happened. I should never have let him touch me. Never.” Her only thoughts were to get Varric out of there, to make sure he wasn’t hurt, to get Bogdan alone so she could calm him down. Oh, she would be hearing from her family about this as well. Damn it. But she could worry about that later. She could feel tears brimming in her eyes again. “I wish Varric and I had never met. I wish I could take it all back,” she said, trying not to choke on a sob. “I was wrong, I shouldn’t have done this. I messed up. If I could undo it, I would. I didn’t mean for this to happen. Bogdan, I’m sorry. Tell me how to fix this and I’ll do it.”
Bianca might as well have slapped him. All the air in his lungs left him in a rush as her voice cut across his mind like a punch and a doubt crept into his mind at her words. “Bianca,” he breathed, watching in disbelief as Bogdan finally dropped the poker and took the woman into his arms, soothing her hair as he held her, “Tell me you don’t mean that.” She would never say that, she knew that he could take care of himself. That he could handle whatever her family threw at her. He shook his head and firmly told himself she was just lying to save his sad ass and he grabbed up his duster and boots from the floor as he kept his eyes on the two.
Bogdan growled as he watched the other dwarf making for the door. “You’ve crossed a line, Tethras. I’ll have your head for this! You’ll never see her again, you bastard. Never! Your days are numbered!” he shouted at the retreating form as Varric disappeared out the door and thundered down the stairs.
Varric couldn’t breathe as he hopped, cramming his boots on before he mounted his horse faster than he could ever recall. No small feat for a dwarf. He didn’t breathe until the horse was galloping away from the house on the path to Skyhold. His mind was a flurry of activity, his blood singing through his veins as he felt tears stinging at his eyes. A mistake. Regretted it already. Wished that they had never met. He knew. He knew that she would say whatever it took to get things back to normal for herself. She would never throw her life away to come away with him. Her work was too important. More important than him.
Unbidden, tears slipped down his cheeks at the thought as he turned her words over and over in his head. The road in front of him blurred and he gripped the reins tighter. He had a long journey back to the cold castle in the mountains to try and convince himself. To undo the damage that a few simple words had caused to him. He couldn’t help but agree with Bianca on that course of thinking.
Going to her had been a mistake.