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“You know, our Christmas presents came.”
JJ’s wine glass stilled halfway up to her mouth before she caught herself and took a sip. “Nice.”
But even as she tried to keep her voice neutral and face impassive, she could see Emily’s smirk out of the corner of her eye.
JJ took another sip.
“Came in two packages,” Emily continued, her smirk widening. “Guess it didn’t fit into one.”
“It probably came from different manufacturers,” JJ reasoned. The insinuation still made her grip tighten around the stem of her glass. It didn’t fit into one. Her ears were getting traitorously warm. She only barely suppressed the urge to brush her hair over them to hide it.
“So you think the lingerie came from the same manufacturer as the butt plugs?”
JJ rolled her eyes. “The same packing station then, what do I know?”
“Or maybe the other item was just too long.”
With a long, defeated sigh, she leaned back against the sofa, ignoring the smug look in Emily’s eyes.
For a couple of weeks, JJ had managed to evade the topic. A new case shortly before Christmas, last-minute gift shopping, then the trips to the family. But it was the 28th now, the boys were staying over at Will’s place and Emily and she were finally granted some well-deserved alone-time.
She’d known it would come up, of course, and she’d readied herself to the best of her abilities to have this conversation in a way that would make her seem cool and unperturbed.
Granted, she hadn’t fooled herself into believing it would work – or that it mattered in the end. Emily had seen the way she blushed when it had first come up, the way she hadn’t been able to look at either the screen or Emily throughout the whole checkout-process.
It had been a joke, initially. But, alas, JJ had been in a daring mood, one that she’d immediately regretted the moment she’d spoken out loud.
“What if I don’t hate it?”
Emily’s hand had stilled, her cursor still hovering over the picture on the screen, the picture of this stupidly small model with this stupidly large dildo cradled to her chest, black and veiny and thicker than her forearm.
She could have said it was a joke, but by the time she’d made up her mind about it, it had already been in the basket.
“I think we made some good choices there,” Emily continued talking, snapping her out of her thoughts. “Good quality stuff.”
“You unboxed it without me?” JJ exclaimed, glad to have something to focus on that wasn’t her shame. “Wow.”
“Not the main event,” Emily assured her. “Mostly just so that I could do this.”
She brushed the sleeve of her washed-out t-shirt over her shoulder enough to reveal a bright red strap. JJ felt a twinge of nervous arousal in her stomach.
“Huh,” was all she managed to get out.
“It’s a great fit. You should try on yours as well.”
“Uh-huh.”
If Emily had put on lingerie, her evening plans likely extended beyond sipping wine on the sofa. Which was, generally speaking, also perfectly in line with what JJ wanted. They hadn’t had sex in far too long, especially not with enough time to actually enjoy it. In fact, she’d be all over Emily already – if it weren’t for the other purchase.
“And the other things as well, of course. The butt plugs look really well-made, if a little bigger than they looked.” She paused. “Though I guess you don’t mind that much, do you?”
By now, the warmth in her ears had spread all over her cheeks and down to her clavicles.
“The dildo might be a bit smaller than it looked against the model.” Emily leaned back against the sofa, gesticulating with her wine glass in a way that made JJ glad it was only half full. “Not sure if that’s reassuring or disappointing to you.”
JJ emptied her own glass in two big gulps. If the alcohol didn’t help calm her nerves, then at least it gave her an excuse for blushing.
“It’s big enough to really stretch you open though, I’m sure.”
It was a miracle she didn’t splutter red wine all over the sofa at that.
“Wow.” Emily grinned. “Haven’t seen your ears this red since I suggested you touch yourself in front of me.”
The few droplets of red wine that had gone down the wrong pipe were burning in her throat. There was no glass of water nearby, so for a lack of better options, she stole Emily’s wine glass out of her hand and emptied it too, coughing a little and clearing her throat.
“Need liquid courage to engage in this conversation?”
JJ shot her a glare. “Trying not to suffocate.”
“Oh, you wanna take it in your mouth, I thought…”
“Emily,” she interrupted incredulously.
“I’m just asking.”
“No, you’re not, you’re trying to make me blush.”
“Hm, maybe,” Emily admitted, and took her wine glass away from JJ to put it on the coffee table. “But I’m also trying to figure out what you want because this clearly is a big thing for you – no pun intended.”
Pun absolutely intended. JJ sighed.
“You debated the buttplugs with me for an hour without twitching, but this is like the masturbation thing all over again.”
JJ didn’t usually mind the teasing. Emily was vastly more experienced when it came to sex, and a lot more open about it. It had taken some time to get on the same level, and JJ appreciated being nudged out of her comfort zone. Something about this specific instance of it made her prickly though.
“I mean, it’s penis-in-vagina sex.”
“Oh yeah, it’s completely normal, isn’t it?” Her fingers dug into her knee. “Run-of-the-mill everyday sex, every woman has a twenty inch dildo in her bedroom drawer.”
“It’s not twenty inches.”
JJ glared at Emily until she sighed.
“Come on. Don’t you wanna take a look?”
She did, and for fuck’s sake, she was no coward. A fortifying breath later, she set the wine glasses on the table with a determined clank. “Lead the way.”
To say the way to the bedroom felt like the march to a guillotine seemed a bit overdramatic, but it was the best description JJ could find.
Her hands cramped at her side when Emily opened the door and let her step inside. She was frozen to the spot as she watched Emily walk past to pull out the package from underneath the desk.
As promised, it was still sealed in its box, the picture of the black, veiny monster printed on the front in oversize.
… At least JJ hoped it was oversize. Wait, hadn’t Emily said it was smaller than it had looked?
Then again, when they’d ordered it, JJ hadn’t dared to give it a proper look. Which meant she also hadn’t noticed the knots, for instance, one in the middle, and another, bigger one almost at the bottom.
Knots. Why the hell did it have to come with knots? It made the whole thing feel even more taboo.
That realization made her snap out of her paralysis. She walked to the bed and sat down, hands in her lap, eyes on the monster still contained behind cardboard.
… Maybe they should keep it that way.
“You good?” Emily asked hesitantly.
“Yup.”
“Need a moment?”
“Uh-huh.”
This was… a lot to parse. Her brain felt like it was simultaneously running ahead and wading through a swamp.
“If you’re not ready, then…”
“No, I’m ready,” she said automatically. Even the insinuation had piqued her competitive side.
… Emily was probably doing this on purpose, wasn’t she? Most of her hold-ups around sex had been broken by daring her to do it.
“Are you sure?”
Yup, definitely on purpose. “Not sure you’re supposed to start with this, but…”
“I’ve seen bigger,” Emily said, then, upon receiving a questioning glance, added: “In, like, porn and such.”
“You watch that kind of porn?”
“I did now.”
That confession made the whole thing better and worse at the same time. “Well then. You’re the expert…”
Emily snorted and came closer, putting the cardboard box on JJ’s lap before sitting down next to her. “Open it.”
JJ must have looked really overwhelmed because a moment later, an arm was around her shoulder and she was pulled into a sideways hug, her head sinking onto Emily’s shoulder with a sigh. The smell of deodorant and laundry detergent filled her nostrils, and the familiarity of the smell would have been soothing, if the weight of the box on her lap didn’t keep her mercilessly grounded in reality.
“It’s so heavy,” she commented.
“Right?” She felt Emily chuckle into her hair, followed by a soft kiss. It made JJ melt into the embrace a little more.
After a moment of silence, Emily spoke again. “What about it speaks to you?”
JJ tilted her head to look up at Emily, shrugging helplessly.
“Is it the visual? The feeling of being stretched? I tried googling around, believe me, I did, but while I found a whole lot of porn, I didn’t really find a lot of people actually talking about the whys of it.”
She turned her head back to the box. smiling as Emily’s arm squeezed her a little tighter like she was trying to send wordless encouragement that way. “I don’t know.”
“Humor me.”
“I said I don’t know.”
“You must have some sort of idea.”
JJ sighed and untangled herself from the hug. “Okay, this might be TMI.”
“I don’t think there is such a thing at this point.”
She threw her an unimpressed look that earned her the most adorably innocent smile.
“Okay, so.” She took another deep breath. “When I had sex for the first time, I was really tight, like, so tight he couldn’t fit a finger. And I had a very patient boyfriend who didn’t mind and who took his time, but for the first year or so, even if I was perfectly relaxed, penetration kind of, you know, hurt.”
She didn’t know why it felt so revealing to talk about it. This had been, what, almost thirty years ago?
“And then it stopped, miraculously, and it’s never been an issue since, but…”
“But you kinda came to like the pain?” Emily said it so gently that JJ almost wanted to nestle back into the hug.
“I guess?” It took a great deal of effort not to just leave it at that. “I mean, I… tried to recreate it. On my own. I never told anyone. I wanted to, somehow, like, especially at the beginning, with Paul. He was so careful not to hurt me, he even rented books from the library about female anatomy?”
“Naw, why did you break up?”
“He moved away.” She shrugged, then offered a little smirk. “I check him out on social media every once in a while. He’s gotten, like, really handsome.”
“We could invite him. Bet he’d love to know what you’ve become.”
“Only after I can take the second knot,” JJ said, grinning. “Gotta impress him.”
Emily snorted. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“So… what did you do?”
JJ looked up, lost as to what thread Emily was trying to pick back up.
“On your own, I mean.”
“Oh.” She brushed back her hair. “It was mostly in my fantasies.”
“Mostly?”
She couldn’t help but giggle. “I mean, I used my fingers, and then I…”
“What?”
“I fantasized about people daring me to, uhm, use household objects?”
“Ohhh.” Emily sounded scandalized. “Naughty.”
“I never did it.”
“Really? You chickened out?”
JJ slapped her shoulder. “I did it in the fantasy.”
“Oh my God.” Emily’s shoulders jumped with laughter. “You developed a size kink because of competitiveness?”
“You sound surprised for someone who uses that trait of mine against me at every turn.”
“So, are you gonna open it?” Emily threw her a lopsided grin. “Or are you gonna chicken out.”
With a disbelieving laugh and a treacherously warm feeling in her chest, JJ let herself be dared. It took her a moment until she managed to pull off the tape, and she held her breath as she pulled out the plastic-wrapped dildo in its full glory.
“Jesus,” she whispered as it came into view, almost too long to pull out of the package. “This is so long.”
Emily tossed the cardboard aside so JJ could put the dildo on her lap. It was… massive. Absolutely not the biggest thing JJ had seen penetrate a human body, but a hell lot bigger than anything she had ever seen in real life.
“Do you need scissors for the plastic?”
She shook her head, not moving for another couple of seconds before she found the courage to pry open the last protective barrier between her and her sex toy of choice.
Then, she touched it. The smell of fresh silicone wafted to her nose, making her grimace just a little as she turned the toy around in her hands. It was heavy indeed, and big, and surprisingly wobbly. Certainly not as hard as other dildos they owned. It also felt kind of nice to touch. Soft.
She put her hand around it to judge the diameter, finding that her fingers couldn’t quite touch around the head. That observation made her insides clench with such a sudden desire, she had to take a deep breath.
“You like it?” Emily asked, and given her playful tone, she probably already knew the answer.
JJ nodded anyway, daring a quick look at her girlfriend, who was smiling so broadly that it made her feel a little light-headed.
It was hard to feel self-conscious like this, with Emily’s protective arm still around her shoulder, her fingers drawing lazy patterns on her upper arm. JJ still managed.
“I should put on the lingerie,” she said slowly.
“Or you could just get naked and enjoy yourself?”
JJ threw her an unconvinced look. “I should go take a shower.”
A shower turned into a whole routine. JJ shaved, brushed her teeth, did her hair and makeup and put on the set of lingerie they’d ordered despite knowing it wasn’t necessary. It made her feel sexy though, and the confidence boost was direly needed.
The set was black and white lace, and it came with a sheer robe that she tied loosely over her abdomen. She positioned herself in front of the mirror and looked herself in the eyes.
There was still the option to back out. They could have sex, try out some of the other toys, the vibrator perhaps, even the strap-on or the plugs. Emily would understand.
Her eyes narrowed in the mirror. Jennifer Jareau was not a quitter.
So, with as much bravado as she could scrape up, she stepped out of the bathroom.
Emily was lying on the bed, head propped against the pillows, a well-read copy of ‘To the Lighthouse’ by Virginia Woolf, with worn edges and creases on the back on her lap. She was still wearing the washed out shirt from before, as well as the wine-stained sweatpants. JJ liked the look on her.
Upon noticing her presence, Emily quickly turned to put the book on the nightstand. There was scarcely room for it between the bottle of lube, the vibrator and the (reasonably sized) dildo. The not-so-reasonably sized dildo was lying on a towel on JJ’s side of the bed, freshly washed and dried.
“You made it,” she said as she turned back around, the saucy grin on her face falling as she took in the sight in front of her. “Damn.”
JJ offered a coy smile. “You like it?”
“I feel severely underdressed.” She plucked at the washed-out t-shirt. “Or overdressed.”
“Hm,” JJ ambled closer. “I know an easy fix.”
“Do you?” Emily asked, grinning broadly.
“Mhm.” JJ crawled onto the bed, careful not to kneel on the robe as she straddled Emily, whose pupils were already blown wide. She bowed down to press a teasing kiss on Emily’s lips, laughing at the arms snaking around her neck, pulling her in before she could pull away.
JJ was helpless to resist it. The kiss was languid and unhurried, full of passion and yet strangely soothing. It dissolved the tension in her stomach, making way for the familiar ache of arousal.
It took a while until JJ actually managed to take off Emily’s shirt, and even longer until the wine-stained sweatpants joined it on the floor.
Emily looked absolutely breathtaking in red, JJ thought, as she removed her robe and tossed it aside as well. She had never seen Emily in anything but practical underwear, which she didn’t mind, but it did make the occasion feel special.
… If a little performative.
A little chuckle escaped her.
“Hm?” Emily asked, her voice dreamy.
“Nothing.” JJ kissed her nose. “I just realized we kinda make it look like lesbian porn.”
Emily frowned.
“I don’t know, the lingerie, the male-gaze-appropriate penetration…”
Finally, Emily snorted. “God, way to ruin the vibe.”
“Sorry.” She kissed her way up Emily’s torso and neck, smiling at the hum she elicited. A satisfied, cat-like sound that she would never tire of hearing.
“It’s fine,” Emily said, her voice more of a sigh. “I’ll just undress you.”
With one hand, she opened the clasp of her bra, allowing it to fall down between them before tossing it aside. She broke the kiss to shuffle down before taking a nipple into her mouth.
JJ let her head loll forward, humming contently as Emily sucked, teeth grazing lightly, sending zaps of arousal directly into her clit. She put her hand at the back of Emily’s head, mostly to take the strain off her neck, and also a little to keep her in place. Her hips rolled against a conveniently placed leg.
She didn’t resist when Emily pulled her down with her, turning them so she could straddle her.
JJ tensed.
“What?” Emily pulled away,
“There’s cock under my shoulder.”
Emily snorted out a laugh. “Oh.”
She reached down to pull it out, which was surprisingly difficult given its length and flexibility. JJ tried to move her shoulder up to make it easier, but with Emily’s weight atop of her, there was little she could do.
Finally, Emily rolled the dildo aside. “There we go,” she said, satisfied, and leaned down to kiss JJ like this deserved no further comment. JJ couldn’t help but giggle into the kiss.
All of this was surprisingly… okay.
Whenever she’d thought about the day she told someone, her stomach had twisted with nerves to the point where she was sure she’d flee. Even in her fantasies, she’d never considered the option that someone could make her feel so at ease.
But… This was Emily.
“So,” Emily said between two kisses. “How do you want to go about this?”
“Hm?” JJ asked, then gasped as Emily’s finger began rubbing her pussy through the lacy fabric.
“Will you let me stretch you for it?”
“God yes,” JJ whispered back, earning a low chuckle that created goosebumps down her neck. “Fuck yes.”
“Tell you what a good slut you are taking it?”
It was clearly meant as some sort of joke, but the pull of arousal deep in her stomach was so immediate it made her giggle.
“Oh, okay,” Emily laughed, audibly surprised. “That’s the one, huh?”
“Maybe?” She rolled her hips more insistently against Emily’s finger.
“So… you want it rough?”
JJ nodded, biting her lip, feeling giddy and daring and blushing like an absolute idiot, but Emily looked at her like she was precious, so really what did it matter?
“I probably should make you come, huh? Get you relaxed for the monster cock?”
“Mhm.” It came out as more of a moan. She gasped when Emily’s finger wandered below the waistband, touching her without the fabric barrier.
“Fuck, you’re soaked.” Emily sounded almost in awe. “You are a slut for this.”
“Your slut,” JJ corrected, eliciting another disbelieving laugh.
“Where the hell is this coming from?”
It didn’t sound like she minded, so JJ just grinned and reached down to push at her waistband. Emily took the hint.
“You could have told me about this earlier, you know?” She said as she tossed the panties aside. “I didn’t even know you particularly liked penetration.”
“Em.” JJ rolled her hips against nothing.
“What’s the matter?” Emily asked.
“Fuck me.”
“Hmm.” She pretended to think about it, ghosting a finger over her center. JJ spread her legs further, pushing up for more friction, but Emily pulled away before she could get any.
“Em.” It was maddening, the lack of stimulation. “Make me come.”
“Fine, fine.” She grinned. “I love it when you’re bossy with me.”
JJ meant to roll her eyes at that, but when Emily entered her with two fingers, all attempts at playful annoyance flew out the window – along with her dignity, apparently. The whine she let out was positively pathetic. She let her head fall against the pillows. “Fuck.”
“Already, huh?”
If she had any more braincells left, she might have been annoyed by Emily’s smugness.
“I mean, you told me you wanted it rough, so I’m assuming this is appreciated?” A third finger joined the other two, the sudden stretch making JJ gasp. “I take that as a yes.”
“Fuck yes.”
Emily snickered and fucked her harder, her fingers curling against her G-spot.
“Oh God.” She couldn’t help but laugh, helpless against the pleasure consuming her, giving a pathetic whine as Emily’s thumb rubbed circles on her clit, clasping her hand over her mouth, like she could retroactively stifle the sound.
Emily had none of it. She grabbed JJ’s wrist and pulled it away with an insistence that made JJ shiver. “Ah, let me hear you.”
“Fuck.”
“Think I can make you scream today? With the monster cock?”
The orgasm hit her out of nowhere, sharp and sudden, like a spark to gasoline, making her hips spasming uncontrollably and forcing out a laugh that sounded more like a sob.
She’d never struggled coming with a partner, multiple times, often from penetration alone. It was something Emily had been both surprised and a little jealous about. But this hard, this soon? Holy fucking shit.
“Oh wow.”
Before she had the chance to gather wits, the fingers began moving again, massaging the still pulsating walls, the thumb on her clit making her whole body seize up.
“Fuck.” Her hips simultaneously twitched away and toward the touch.
“Come on, give me another one.”
She was about to. Especially when Emily leaned down and took a nipple into her mouth, biting down hard enough to make her gasp.
“Is that kind of roughness appreciated too?”
“Uh-huh,” was all JJ managed to say.
Emily grinned up at her. “I’m learning so many things about you.”
She bit down again, harder, or maybe JJ was just more sensitive now. In any case, she let out a pained sound from the back of her throat, whining at the soothing tongue that replaced the teeth soon after.
“I’m gonna bite you again if you don’t come quickly,” Emily threatened.
JJ couldn’t have stopped it if she tried, her body seized up with it, head falling back against the pillows.
“Pity.”
JJ tried to laugh. It came out sounding more like a cough.
“One more?”
JJ giggled, feeling a little too light, a little floaty in the most wonderful way. It made her feel daring. “Only if you bite my nipple when I do.”
Emily’s eyes widened. “Yup, definitely learning new things.”
One more quickly turned into three more. Eventually, Emily gathered JJ into her arms, allowing her to hide in the safe space below her collarbone as her fingers continued their merciless assault.
Each touch was painful by now, and oh-so addictive.
Normally, Emily gave her some time between orgasms to recuperate and come to her senses. This was… a lot.
“Don’t complain,” Emily murmured into her hair, the smile audible in her voice. “The dildo’s gonna hurt a lot more.”
JJ whimpered helplessly, grinding her hips desperately. It was getting harder to come, the angle wasn’t ideal, though she wouldn’t change it for the world as long as it meant she could inhale the smell of Emily’s skin and feel the arm holding her in place.
“You want that though, don’t you?”
JJ nodded helplessly, her head bumping against Emily’s shoulder.
“And I had no idea. How dare you keep this from me. I could have railed you until you wept.”
She was so goddamn close again already, the need in her so sharp it was almost painful to chase it, but the idea of stopping was decidedly worse.
With gritted teeth, she forced her muscles to still, working against the urge to pull away from the onslaught.
“Close?”
She nodded, yelping as Emily rubbed her harder, her clit burning with the stimulation. “Fuck. Too much. Too much.”
Emily slowed down.
“Fuck!”
“What?”
“Fuck. Em!” She ground her hips against the fingers inside of her.
“That’s, uhm, not as conclusive as you think it might be.”
“Fuck me.”
Emily mercifully picked up the pace again. “Okay, Jeez.”
JJ wanted to laugh, but the orgasm hit her at the same time, so it came out strangled. She trembled with the intensity of it. “Fucking hell, Em.”
“Sorry to tell you, but the signals were mixed.” Emily rolled to her side, supporting herself on her elbow, a lopsided grin on her face.
JJ shook her head and blinked away some tears – from laughing or the sheer intensity of her orgasm, she actually wasn’t all too sure.
“Do we need, like, a safeword?” Emily suggested, sounding unsure herself. “You know, safe, sane, consensual?”
She definitely didn’t feel entirely sane about any of this.
“I mean, if you wanna complain about it being too big and too much in peace, it would definitely be better.”
JJ shot her an incredulous look.
“What? That’s part of the kink, isn’t it?”
“Why would I wanna complain?”
Emily looked at her like she was crazy. “Babe, you just complained about it being too much.”
“W-well,” JJ sputtered, “it was!”
“And then you got annoyed when I stopped.”
JJ opened her mouth – and immediately closed it again. “Fine.”
“Green, yellow, red?”
“Fine.” She rolled her eyes.
“Perfect. That way you can go, oh, Em, this is so much, it hurts so bad, green, please stop, green.”
JJ slapped her shoulder as hard as she could with Emily so close and her elbow bent like that. “I don’t sound like that.”
“We don’t know that for sure, do we?” Emily gave her the most infuriating grin. “Haven’t tried that monster cock yet.”
“You’re terrible.”
“Oh, don’t pretend you don’t love it.”
JJ chose not to comment.
Emily had been in many strange situations, but being hand-deep in JJ’s pulsing cunt, slick with what must have been a dozen orgasms, and continuously being asked for more? That was up there with the most surreal experiences of her life.
They’d worked up to four fingers, all the way up to the biggest part of her palm, then, after a bit of a struggle, beyond that part too. The sounds JJ made when Emily fucked her like that? Absolutely divine.
Genuinely. It was beautiful, watching her unravel. JJ in the throes of passion was a sight to behold on any day, but like this?
And Emily had had no idea. Hell, they’d hardly used the sex toys they owned. That was why Emily had come up with the Christmas present idea in the first place. She thought that there was some residual shyness involved on JJ’s part that they could dismantle together.
Never in her life had she thought JJ had a fucking size kink. Come on.
“Okay, this might hurt a little.”
“I want it to.”
“I know, that’s why I’m telling you.” She pulled out her hand past the widest part, watching JJ wince and bite her lip, before pushing it back in with gentle insistence.
“Fuck.”
“Good fuck?”
JJ nodded desperately. “You know how,” she began, pausing to inhale sharply, “you know how sometimes when someone enters you too quickly, it kinda sends this electric spark up your spine?”
Not really. She nodded nonetheless.
“It’s like that, but…” JJ gasped when Emily pulled out again, grinding her hips to make her push in harder, grinning and biting her lips in this absolutely stunning way. “Constant.”
Emily couldn’t help but smile like a fucking idiot. She’d been smiling too hard the entire time, her cheeks were starting to hurt.
Her eyes fell on the monster dildo for the nth time. It was still quite a bit bigger than her fingers. Not quite as big as a fist though, so although that idea had crossed her mind, she thought it would be a bit… over the top. And take too long.
They should have brought some reasonably huge dildos. Something to work her up to bridge the jump between the toys they owned and this monstrosity. Emily was kinda mad at herself that she hadn’t considered this. There was a good chance that JJ couldn’t take this the first time, and there was very little to fall back on. Oh well. Too late to back out now. Far too late.
“One more?”
“You’ve been saying that for, like, ten orgasms now.” She was kind of slurring her words. Oh, Emily was a little proud of that.
“I swear, this is gonna be the last one.”
JJ cranked open one eye. “You’ve been saying that for three.”
“I can’t help it, okay? You just look so… happy.”
JJ let out a laugh that carried just a hint of shyness. “If you say so.”
“Aren’t you?”
“Hm?” She blinked, her brain slow to catch on. “Oh, yeah.” The cutest giggle escaped her. “Yeah.”
“Then one more and we’ll make you even happier.”
JJ offered no complaint.
It didn’t take long until Emily felt her clench around her, hips bucking, a hoarse groan on her lips.
When Emily pulled out, JJ’s abs trembled visibly, her breath coming in short pants, her eyes just a little unfocused.
“Here.” She handed JJ the water from the nightstand.
JJ emptied it in three sips. Her fingers trembled as she put it back, enough so that Emily felt compelled to reach out and help before she let it fall to the ground.
“Do you need a break?”
JJ looked deeply offended. “I need a monster dildo in my pussy.”
“God, I love you.” Emily dutifully picked up the dildo, grinning at the way JJ’s eyes followed it with a mix of trepidation and unveiled desire. She also looked just a little… tired. Understandably so. How many orgasms had that been? More than Emily could have taken without passing out for sure.
She watched as JJ turned around, positioning herself on her knees and elbows, with sluggish movements and trembling thighs. If she hadn’t known that JJ would take personal offense at the question, she would have asked whether she was sure she didn’t want to do this another time. Her body must be fucking spent.
But then again, Emily knew her girlfriend’s stubbornness enough to realize that there was no way she wouldn’t go through with it now. It was one of her best and also worst traits.
So instead, Emily reached for the lube.
“Gimme,” JJ said, holding out her palm. Emily squeezed a good amount into it before coating the dildo’s head with it.
In the meantime, JJ began spreading the lube on herself, working it inside, sighing softly as she fingered herself.
Emily couldn’t help the smile forming on her face, a strange softness enveloping her that felt so antithetical to the filthy imagery. But the fact that JJ was doing this, just, lubing herself up for this big dildo when two hours ago she had been blushing at the mere mention?
Yeah, that worked for her.
Not to mention that it made her feel kind of proud – a sentiment JJ would find incredibly condescending, so Emily didn’t dare to say it out loud. She simply helped position the dildo, holding it in place as JJ reached out to guide it into her entrance, gasping before it even touched her.
“It’s so big,” she murmured, lifting her hips to spread the lube over the head, humming softly.
“Touching it do something for you?”
“Mhm.”
Emily’s near-constant grin widened at that. “You’ll look good impaled by it, you know?”
“Hm, if I can make it fit.”
“Oh, you will. No giving up on my watch.”
JJ chuckled, but she finally tilted the dildo properly towards her entrance, breathing deep to brace herself before gently pushing down on it. She immediately took in a sharp breath.
“Relax,” Emily murmured.
“I’m trying.”
It was strange. If Emily had a size kink, she felt like she would have at least gone for a cucumber at some point. But JJ was so… innocent in all of this. Or not as prone to make unsanitary horny decisions in her youth perhaps. In any case, the fact that she’d gone so long without trying something was kind of insane.
“Try to push out a little?”
JJ clearly tried, though it didn’t seem to do much. The head of it was just too wide, despite the lube. Impatiently, she pushed down harder, hissing before moving away again.
Oh, this wasn’t great. There wasn’t much of a contingency plan, and JJ was a mercilessly competitive person. Emily had half a mind to tell her that it was okay to stop, but she knew JJ would take offense by the mere insinuation. So instead, she went down a different path. “Come on, don’t be a baby.”
JJ paused, which, naturally, made Emily double down.
“Be a good slut. You wanted it to hurt, didn’t you?”
“I didn’t want it to tear though,” she retorted, turning around to shoot Emily an indignant look. “Who put you in charge of the dirty talk?”
“Excuse me?” Her incredulous response elicited a satisfied grin on JJ’s face that immediately stole her thunder. “You do it then!”
There was a hint of surprise on JJ’s face, quickly replaced by a disbelieving grin.
Clearly, she took it as a challenge, and Emily had no desire to back away. “Unless you’re uncomfortable, wouldn’t want to push you.”
The taunt had the desired effect. With a minuscule shake of her head, JJ turned back. “Give me some lube.”
Emily frowned. “I don’t think that’s gonna help much.”
“Em.”
Fine, yes, trust the process. She grabbed the bottle from the nightstand and squeezed it onto JJ’s palm.
A moment later, it all became clear. JJ spread the lube over her entrance, coating both her hole and her hand in the wet, glistening substance, then proceeded to put four fingers into herself.
Okay then.
“I could do that,” Emily suggested, mostly looking at the very uncomfortable looking angle of her wrist.
“You’re too gentle,” JJ commented, as she twisted her hand around, scissoring her fingers.
Fair enough.
Emily watched with a mixture of trepidation and awe as JJ added a thumb. There was absolutely no way she could put her hand in there, right?
But the method made sense. Circumference was the issue, and a thumb provided that, Emily supposed.
JJ let out an impatient grunt as she pushed a little harder.
“You okay?”
“This is a hand workout.”
Emily snorted. “Still waiting for the dirty talk.”
“I’m concentrating.”
“Stalling,” Emily corrected.
She didn’t receive a reply, though maybe that was less about ignoring her and more about the fact that JJ had begun rotating her hand. Her jaw was tense, but it was getting visibly easier for her to move her hand. With one final, deep breath, she removed her fingers. “Okay.”
“Okay?” Emily felt nerves bundle up in her stomach. Why the hell was she nervous now. “You ready?”
“Yeah.” JJ took the dildo and lined it up with trembling hands. “I’m ready to be stretched.”
It took Emily a moment to realize that this was a first attempt at dirty talk. “For what?”
“For you.”
That technically didn’t answer the question, but it was also just so cute. Emily couldn’t help but melt. “Then go ahead.”
Her bravado was fickle, Emily could tell. Anxiety oozed out of her every pore as slowly lowered herself onto the head.
“You got this.”
JJ let out vaguely annoyed grunt that was probably meant as a complaint about the babying, but it didn’t really come across over the desperate panting.
Maybe the annoyance fueled her on though. Emily watched with an open mouth as the head split her open, gasping when JJ let out a high-pitched keen.
“Gentle.”
“Fuck.”
“… Green?”
JJ determinedly shook her head. “Fuck gentle.”
Oh. Well. “What are you waiting for then? Permission?”
A pause. “Do I have your permission?”
It took Emily a good two seconds to have her wits about her enough to reply. “Who knows? Maybe if you ask nicely.”
The quiet gasp JJ let out at that made her feel all sorts of things. “May I please?”
“May I please what?”
JJ lowered her head chuckling, her hair curtaining her face.
“You wanted to take over the dirty talking and so far, you’re not doing a very good job at it.”
It was a cruel and effective tactic. Cruel because JJ knew exactly what was going on, and effective because she still couldn’t resist it. “Please may I impale myself on this dildo for you?”
It was really, really hard not to laugh at the wording. “Why?”
“Because I want to?”
“Is that a question?”
Another quiet laugh. Even though her hair was effectively shielding her from view, Emily knew for a fact that JJ was blushing again. “I need the toy inside of me.”
“Yeah, I’m not convinced.”
“I need it. I need to be impaled by this monster cock.”
“Why?”
It took her a great deal of effort to say it, Emily could tell. “Because I’m a needy slut.”
Holy. Fucking. Shit. “Say that again.”
“I’m a needy slut.”
“Look at me.”
JJ’s hand was clumsy and reluctant to brush the hair aside.
“Again.”
Her eyes fell on Emily, and something changed. Some kind of recognition, a hint of amusement as her eyes flitted down Emily’s body. It wasn’t until then that Emily noticed that her hips were shifting relentlessly, seeking stimulation to quell the ache in her cunt.
“Does that turn you on?” JJ asked. Her voice had a dangerous quality now.
“You? Yeah,” Emily deflected.
“Humiliating me?”
Why was she the one to get interrogated now?
JJ grinned. “Oh, I see it now.”
Emily was blushing. She couldn’t help it. It didn’t show quite as nicely on her skin as it did on JJ’s, but it was definitely visible.
“So…” JJ’s eyes twinkled dangerously. “You wanted me to ask again?”
Emily nodded dumbly.
“May I please impale myself on this huge cock for you, Ma’am?”
She’d really wanted to say yes, but not a word got past her lips.
“Please, I’m a needy slut and I need your cock.”
Finally, she managed to swallow. “Go ahead,” she said in the lamest way possible.
Not that JJ seemed to mind. The grin didn’t leave her face, not even as she pushed against the dildo hard enough that it must be really uncomfortable.
“Come on, don’t keep me waiting.”
JJ let out a sound that might have been a laugh, though Emily couldn’t tell for sure.
“Do you want me to grab your hips and make you?” This was… not something you just said without preamble, and if Emily had even a scrap of sanity left, she’d never have put it like that.
Luckily, JJ wasn’t in her right mind either. All she did was moan.
Okay then. “I count to three, if you didn’t get it inside you until then, I’m going to make you.”
JJ doubled her effort, pushing down even though it made her grunt.
“I thought you needed my cock.”
“I do,” JJ pressed out between gasps. “Fuck, I do. I need your cock. I need–AH!”
The biggest part of the head slipped in, and along with it a good inch of the toy. Emily forgot how to breathe. For a second, everything was dangerously quiet.
“Oh fuck,” JJ whimpered, her breath getting stuck in her throat, the hand that had guided the dildo joining the other so she didn’t lose balance, fingers cramping into the bed sheets.
When she breathed again, it sounded almost panicked, high-pitched, close to hyperventilation.
“Fuck. Fuck.”
“Hey.”
“Hey.” Emily finally snapped herself out of her paralysis and crawled closer until she could lay down by her side. “Hey, it’s alright. Does it hurt?”
“Em,” she whispered between pants. Her voice sounded desperate.
“It’s okay, you’re okay, breathe.”
She took a deep breath, shaking her head. “Em.”
“I’m here.” Emily put a hand on her sweat-slick back. “It’s okay. You’re okay.” Hopefully. At this point, she couldn’t tell. “Do you need it out?”
JJ shook her head more insistently, then finally looked up, eyes glassy with tears and a breathless laugh on her lips. “No, Em. I just had an orgasm.”
“You– Oh.”
“It… It was in my head, I know, it just…” She grimaced and breathed hard through her nose. “Fuck, clenching hurts.”
“Oh.” Yeah. She could see that. Relief flooded her to the point where her fingers started to tremble as well. Jesus Christ. “Holy shit.”
“It was…” JJ let out a maniacal laugh. “My whole body… Just…”
“It’s okay, breathe. You can tell me all about it later.”
She nodded and buried her face in her underarms. Emily put a gentle hand on her back, drawing gentle circles.
“That feels nice,” JJ whispered.
Emily’s heart ached just a little. “I’ll do it all night for my strong little girl.”
… Where did that come from?
JJ didn’t react.
“Are you, uhm…” She didn’t know how to word this elegantly. “Done?”
JJ turned her head, blinking against the light. “One more?”
Emily couldn’t help but laugh, a sentiment JJ shared with a tired smile.
“God, you’re insane.”
“Is that a good thing?”
“The best thing.”
“Can I try the vibrator?”
“Oh absolutely!”
Emily had put it on the nightstand, along with all the other sex toys they somehow hadn’t used. When she reached out, she hesitated. “You might clench though.”
“I know.” JJ moved her hips against the dildo, a content smile on her lips. “I can take it.”
“You’ll take it for me like a good little slut?” Emily asked, a lopsided grin on her face.
JJ bit her lips, eyes wild, cheeks flushed, beautifully disheveled. “Yes, Daddy.”
Emily’s brain just… shut down.
There wasn’t a single thought, and certainly no control about her facial expressions, because JJ looked so fucking smug it must be written all over her face. How she could even look smug after all that had happened, with her makeup smeared on her face and her hair stuck to her sweaty skin, Emily wasn’t sure.
Well, there was no hiding the effect it had on her anyway.
“Do I get the vibrator now?” JJ grinned.
“Uh-huh.” Emily nodded excessively as she reached across JJ toward the nightstand. She was a little light-headed.
“That really got you, huh?” JJ teased, and fair enough. Emily had been teasing her all day, she’d had it coming.
“Yup.” There was no point denying it.
“We’re learning so much about each other tonight.”
Emily didn’t know whether to laugh or roll her eyes, so instead, she just handed her the vibrator. “You wanna hold it yourself?”
JJ nodded and took the vibrator, still smirking as she turned it on. Biting her lips, she brought it between her legs, averting her eyes just briefly before she dared looking up again. It took her a moment to adjust the vibrator’s position, then an adorable smile fought its way onto her face. “Oh.”
“Oh?” Emily asked.
“That’s–“ She hissed and took a deep breath.
“No clenching,” Emily reminded her, and received a playfully admonishing look.
It took her another moment to adjust to it, but eventually, after a lot of mindful breathing, JJ’s body relaxed into it. The soft wine she let out made goosebumps spread all over Emily’s skin.
“Green?” she asked, eliciting a soft laugh from a very far-away JJ.
“So green.” Her hips started to move languidly against the toy inside of her. “Will you fuck me?”
Emily’s breath stuttered, and it took her just a second too long to reply. “Uh. Yeah. Absolutely, yeah.”
God, she was down bad, wasn’t she?
She knelt up and crawled behind JJ, taking in the sight in front of her. The arched back and soft curve of her ass, the way her cunt had stretched around the intrusion, dripping wet with lubrication. “Fuck, you look so good stretching around it.”
She meant it, too. Was this what happened in committed relationships? In the same way you started liking the same TV shows, did you also adopt each other’s kinks?
JJ’s hips moved a little more insistently, wordlessly urging her on.
Tentatively, Emily reached for the toy. It was slippery in her grasp, even close to the bottom, the mix of lubrications running down the black veins of the toy, dripping off the knot and onto the bed sheets.
“How far am I from the first knot?”
Emily cocked her head. “I’d say around halfway there?”
JJ let out something like a laugh. “Oh, I gotta do better than that.”
“Yeah?”
“Uh-huh.” There was a click, then the humming of the vibrator raised in volume.
Emily could feel the idiotic grin on her face as she picked up the toy, mindful of how it shifted inside of JJ and careful not to hurt her. She felt weirdly worshipful about it.
JJ took a deep, shaky breath. “Fuck,” she said, her voice muted against her arm. She lifted her head. “Fuck me. Push it deeper.”
Emily was all too happy to oblige.
“Fuck, Em.” JJ moaned. “Fuck, Em – Ah. Fuck. Split me open.”
Deeply enthralled, Emily watched the toy slip deeper.
She’d done her research and she could confidently say that the whole size queen thing didn’t do it for her alone, but JJ? Like this? Needy and so perfectly open about it? Not too shy to show her enjoyment, smiling like this was the best day of her life?
Yeah, that worked for her.
Encouraged by the lack of pained noises, she dared to start an in-and-out motion, though to be quite honest, she probably wouldn’t have made a lot of progress if it weren’t for JJ pushing back against the toy.
“Good job, babe,” she said, wondering if that sounded a little patronizing, but it wasn’t like JJ sounded like she cared. Her only comment was a high-pitched whine.
“Fuck, that feels so good.”
“You’re taking it so deep, baby.”
“Yeah?” She sounded so adorably hopeful.
“Almost to the knot, less than an inch.”
JJ moaned helplessly and pushed back so hard Emily almost lost grip. The sound she made was definitely bordering on pained.
“Come on, take it.”
Her hips were starting to lose their rhythm and a hoarse cry left her open mouth.
“Yes, there you go!” Emily exclaimed. “There you go, good girl.”
What the hell was she even saying at this point?
When JJ felt the knot bump against her, she shuddered. “Oh God.”
“Yes, you got it!” It was almost silly how ecstatic she felt.
“Fuck.”
“Are you gonna come for me, baby?” Emily asked, head buzzing like she was drunk. “Are you gonna scream for me?”
JJ’s body spasmed uncontrollably. “God, Em, I’m gonna come. Oh, Daddy! Daddy!”
A particularly hard convulsion made her lift herself off the dildo, her whole body shaking with the force of her orgasm. Too out of breath, her cry came belated, and loud, and unhinged. She collapsed back on her legs, unable to hold herself up, the dildo falling to the side, legs trembling.
Emily felt inclined to collapse along with her. “Holy shit. Like. Holy fucking shit.”
“Yeah,” was all JJ managed to say.
Emily laid down next to her, laughing as JJ immediately threw her arms around her and pulled her close. Her entire body was trembling. “You good?”
“Mhm.”
The vibrator was still humming, muffled under JJ’s hips. Emily gently retrieved it to turn it off and toss it aside. Not an easy feat, given how much of her body a very sweaty and exhausted JJ was hogging now. She settled against the pillows, allowing JJ to nestle in properly.
Emily took a deep breath.
“You good too?” JJ asked, her voice barely above a whisper, and yet, it carried a notable hint of smugness.
“Never been better.”
JJ giggled, peeking up at her through half-closed eyes. “So… Daddy, huh?”
Emily could feel her cheeks warm. “Where the hell did that even come from?”
“Hmm, intuition?” She crooked a grin. “A stroke of genius in the midst of utter brainlessness?”
“Hm.” Emily stroked a sticky strand of hair from JJ’s forehead. “So… was it as good as you imagined?”
JJ let out a soft laugh and stretched in the hug, arching her back and languidly rolling her shoulders. “Better.”
“Yeah?” Emily knew just how silly her grin must look.
“Those orgasms? Like, the last two? I mean, that first one was like… And I genuinely thought I was gonna pass out from the second one because it just… Holy shit.”
“Yeah, you’re about as eloquent about it as mid-fuck.”
That earned her a very half-hearted slap on the shoulder that was immediately followed by a deeply satisfied sigh. “I should take a shower.”
“And eat something.”
“Yeah, and hydrate.”
Emily laughed. “So much to do for someone who’s about to fall asleep on me.”
“Am not!”
She was. It took her less than a minute of Emily stroking her back and kissing her hair. In the middle of a lube-stained bed, the dildo against her leg, sweaty and probably severely dehydrated, JJ looked so goddamn peaceful that Emily couldn’t bring herself to wake her up.