Chapter Text
The end of the week would feel a lot more relieving if Present Mic didn't decide that a Friday would be the perfect time to assign the class a paper.
Uraraka groans internally as she watches her teacher write the paper topic on the board, bright yellow hair gliding across the front of the room and marker squeaking, almost like it was taunting her.
"Alright my little superstars!" his voice bounces off the walls in the classroom. Even after all this time with him Uraraka still winces a bit at his volume. "I have a rockin' assignment for you guys to get real deep with!"
Present Mic claps his hands together, his expression turning a bit serious as he addresses his students, "This assignment I'll be working in tandem with your Mental Health Counselor, Ms. Hanya. These papers will be on the topic of the war..." He pauses, scanning the room carefully, then continues on, "and how it may have changed your perception of being a hero."
Whispers breakout around the class while Uraraka feels a small knot beginning to form in her stomach. After the war, the amount of interviews, cleanup and overseeing society's rebuilding that surrounded the class made the topic something they had grown very used to whether they liked it or not. Still, it was....a touchy subject for a multitude of reasons. Each students' different experience and frame of mind around the war had varying sore spots that some weren't quite ready to dive back into just yet. To Uraraka's knowledge, it had take a while for anyone to even take U.A. up on their mental health counseling. Many decided they would rather throw themselves into their work and hero duties to avoid thinking about what they went through for too long.
There was many a night where she sat in a circle with her friends in darkness, illuminated only by the moonlight as they confided hushed fears and nightmares to one another. Moments where she caught classmates that served as their calm, or their joy, off in a corner where they thought no one could see them, broken down in tears. Times where someone's reaction to being surprised was too visceral to be normal fright, a kind of scream that would send everyone's pulse through the roof a the idea that someone was in immediate danger. She wasn't sure if they would ever be fully honest about how deeply embedded in all of them that feeling of constant danger always was.
It was a second skin, hooked into her flesh and draining her on the days she didn't have the energy to fight it.
Sensing the displeasure, Present Mic walked back to his desk, leaning against it as he held his hands up in a cue for silence.
"Look, I know this is not ideal, and if anyone seriously cannot complete this assignment without compromising their mental state, please come see me and I will make an exception. But-" He removed his shades, pinching the skin on the bridge of his nose in thought, eyes shut tight, "I encourage you to be open to this assignment and go towards it with your most uninhibited thoughts."
Green eyes slide across the room, a small smile on his lips as he crosses one leg over the other.
"This is not going to be graded on anything other than your willingness to participate. So even if you can only write a sentence about how you feel, that's good enough. But be truthful, even if what you have to say doesn't feel or sound heroic. The point is to be a hero to yourself by acknowledging your feelings and what everyone here has gone through."
The class was stunned into silence. To be given permission so explicitly to write against hero-work if they so please, was a first.
"Can we curse in our paper?" Denki's voice broke the quiet, the class falling into a chorus of laughter at his gall.
"Don't push it." Present Mic warned, raising an eyebrow at him, " Absolutely not. This is still an academic paper after all. But, express your true feelings as much as you can. God only knows my thoughts on the war aren't pleasant, and I'm an adult. I can only imagine how you kiddos feel."
The chime of the bell cuts their time short. Pens, notebooks, and pencils get shoved into Uraraka's bag as Present Mic hurriedly comes around with list of writing prompts to help them get started.
"I want to see a rough draft by Monday please!"
She waits, eyes floating over to the other side of the classroom where Bakugo sat deep in thought, neck tilted back, staring up at the ceiling. Uraraka shimmied her backpack into her lap, laying her head down on it as she stared at him. Her stomach grew warm watching him, remembering their moment in the elevator as it played in a torturous loop in her mind ever since it happened. They hadn't really been in each other's orbit since. Whether that was on purpose or not, she felt better not knowing.
He sensed her eyes, immediately dropping his head and angling his eyes towards her. His face was blank as usual, eyes once again searching hers for something she couldn't possibly figure out over the sound of her heartbeat pounding in her ears.
"Kiddo, you awake over here?"
The sudden rustling of paper next to her shook her out of her trance. Mic was holding the paper out to her, looking in the same direction as she was to see what had her attention. His sharp eyebrows quirked up when he realized who it was. Uraraka grabbed the paper before he could say anything else.
"Thank you! See you Monday!"
She flew out of her seat, pretending not to hear her teacher's small chuckle. As she wandered down the hall, Uraraka figured it would be in her best interest to get a head start on this paper while she could. The idea of spending most of her weekend deep in thoughts she usually saved for the confines of darkness, when she was having trouble sleeping, did not sound like fun in the slightest. While it was responsible of her, it being Friday seemed to add heavy, invisible chains to her ankles as she made a beeline for the library.
The rest of the afternoon was hers once she did this.
A small smile formed as she pushed open the library door, her fingertips gliding over the bumpy wood grain surface. Cool air instantly blasted her in the face, tendrils of brown hair blowing back and she scrunched her nose a bit at the curious smell the library always held. The bright white overhead lights danced across the bookshelves, intersecting with the light of the sun as it shone through the huge windows of the room. Uraraka made her way to an empty computer, logging herself on and grabbing what she would need out her bag while the spinning blue circle worked overtime to load everything up.
Across the room, the other entrance to the library slammed open.
A chair dragged roughly against the carpet at the computer directly across from her. Whoever it was, they were very dedicated to making an entrance. They plopped down even more noisily in their seat, continuing on to dig around so loudly in their bag Uraraka wondered if the library had meant something different than she remembered. Peering around her screen, Uraraka nearly yelped when she caught sight of that wild blonde head of hair. The sound she did make was so small she thought she could avoid being noticed, but he locked onto her before she could slide back behind her computer. She froze, waving a hand awkwardly, silently screaming at how unbelievably awkward she was acting.
"What the hell's the matter with you?" Bakugo asked gruffly, eyebrows knit together in confusion, glancing between her and his own screen.
"N-nothing! I mean...I just.." Uraraka smoothed her hair in an attempt to self-regulate. Words, she knew them. She's been speaking since she was a toddler, so why did finding words seem so hard right now? Why did he make her forget herself every time he was around?
"Something on your mind?"
Uraraka paused, watching him smirk before moving out of her line of sight, busying himself with the clicks and clacks of his keyboard. She squinted at him, her thoughts coming to a screeching halt because he absolutely was messing with her right now.
It wasn't unlike him per say, to push her button's occasionally, but what happened in the elevator wasn't really like him either.
"You working on your paper?" she asked as casually as she could, tapping the same key over and over again into the search bar, pretending to be doing some semblance of work.
"Yeah, don't tell me you are too?" He leaned back, arm draped over his chair in that relaxed way of his that made her struggle to form coherent thoughts, "It's Friday. You're usually with the Nerd Squad in the commons by now."
"Keeping tabs on me Bakugo?" Uraraka titled her head, fluttering her eyelashes teasingly as she watched his smug little smile drop.
"You fucking wish." The color in his cheeks told her that he wished she didn't notice, just how much he noticed her.
"I wish you would tell me what's up with you."
"Nothing's up with me, Pink Cheeks."
They made eye contact again, his eyes betraying everything his mouth refused to say. Uraraka raised an eyebrow, deciding to press him before she lost the nerve.
"The elevator?"
"What about it?"
"Bakugo-"
"What are you going to write about?" He twirled a pencil between his fingers, looking anywhere but her as he changed the topic. Sighing, Uraraka dropped the questioning; that was all she was going to get out of him for today.
"I'm going to write about how hero work needs to include more care for those with abnormal quirks. The uplifting of certain quirks over others creates a grey area where a lot can go wrong if it's not addressed properly. The mental burden so many people carry, because they don't have the right resources to turn their feelings into something good..."
She trails off, already feeling her eyes getting watery. The room blurred, her breathing quickening before she could stop it. Yellow eyes and sharp teeth forever spread into a delighted smile flash in her mind. Their arms and legs entangled mid-air, Toga's last words muffled as Uraraka faded out of consciousness. She grabs her stomach out of reflex, the mere memory causing a phantom pain physically and emotionally. Even through her clothes, she can feel the ridges of her scar.
She didn't even hear Bakugo stand up.
"Oi! Are you ok??" He starts to move, starts to make his way over to her but she holds a hand up in rejection. She was fine. If she kept telling herself she was, then she would be fine.
"I'm fine I just.." her voice staggered a bit, but finally she took in a full breathe as color returned to her vision.
"I know how it feels." He hesitantly sat back down, not pushing her for more but still watching her carefully.
The sentence was short, but held so much understanding that Uraraka could feel it wrap around her like a hug. Bakugo didn't offer deep words of comfort often, or ever, but he knew how to make someone feel seen. Silence soon washes over them, the work they came here to do taking priority.
After a while, the library chair suddenly feels too hard, too rigid beneath her. Uraraka slides down a bit, searching for a more comfortable position, her knee bumping against Bakugo's. The tables had free space underneath them aside from the computer cables, and she hadn't realized that he stretched his legs out to her side. She went to move so she wouldn't be encroaching his space.
Her body stilled as the warmth of his fingers ghosted across her knee.
Bakugo didn't move or look at her, he just continued scrolling as his other hand under the table draped loosely across his leg, and hers by proxy. That feeling starts stirring up again, the pits of her stomach akin to the inside of a blender as she fought the urge to slide her own hand under the table and put her hand over his.
She needed to talk. To say something, anything before she followed through on her thoughts.
"I can't believe I'm about to write all my thoughts while I was dying from blood loss." half-heartedly, she joked but a part of her was apprehensive about how honest she would be in this paper. Bakugo snorted, his knee bumping against hers again because of it.
"A damn paper full of regrets, what a way to lift morale around here."
An amused puff of air escaped Uraraka, who shook her head lightly in agreement.
"I didn't realize how many regrets I had until I thought it was over. Not being able to live my dream and help my parents, not being able to save Toga, not knowing whether my friends were dead or alive. How Deku was doing, You-"
"Me?"
He asked in a way that was meant to be subtle, simple curiosity and nothing more. The way his eyes burned into hers gave off the exact opposite energy. A bit of hopefulness even, if she dared to interpret it that way. Uraraka cleared her throat, hoping the small lump that was forming would dissipate on its own. The smooth texture of his school pants helped calm her so she rubbed her knee against it absentmindedly, not privy to the air of restraint growing around Bakugo by the second.
"I thought that, out of all my classmates, I could've talked to you more outside of us giving each other shit."
Bakugo kept his face composed. Uraraka could tell he was turning her words over and over in his head. He finally smiled at her, small and thin as he replied.
"Tch. Well we could've gotten to know each other real well in the afterlife if we both actually bit the dust."
Uraraka's jaw dropped, her hand flying to her mouth to stifle a laugh. It didn't work. Laughter broke through the confines of her hand, utterly taken aback by his callousness. Bakugo's mouth twitched, like if he laughed along with her it would betray something deeper within him he was trying not to show. From her desk, the librarian shushed them in irritation, eyes mean and beady behind her thick eyeglasses. A chorus of "sorry's" echoed from her as Uraraka ducked down out of sight from the librarian's glare.
"That's so fucked up to say!" she made sure to whisper this time, leaning on her arm as she finally willed herself to stop giggling.
"Watch your damn mouth." there was no heat behind his words. Nothing but a sense of teasing mixed with growing comfortability. Uraraka laid her head down for a moment, looking up at Bakugo from beneath her lashes. He stared right back at her, red eyes bright, his leg knocking against hers gently, steadily. They both had stopped working long ago. Uraraka had a couple books about psychology and quirks pulled up on her screen to potentially check out. Her "draft" held only her name and today's date in the corner, nothing more. So much for getting a head start.
"Do...you have any regrets?" She knew this was one of the rare times he would possibly willingly divulge information. It would be stupid not to at least try to crack open that shell of his.
His eyes went a bit wide and his jaw flexed like he was physically biting back the answer. The pause stretched, long and heavy. Uraraka snaked her arm below them, taking a chance and brushing against his knee with her thumb. It was supposed to be an innocent touch, reassuring. The way he shuddered at the contact made her face heat up so fast it felt like a flash fire.
"I-" Bakugo's posture shifted once more, something uncertain lingering in his voice, "I just miss when I could actually sleep through the night."
It was a simple, relatable admission from him. Uraraka hated that she caught herself longing for more. More words she could latch onto and mold a new meaning into when she was alone.
"Well at least we have each other." She gave him a genuine, warm smile that was so wide she could feel her cheeks protruding. It wasn't until Bakugo's own cheeks were set ablaze, and the silence afterwards stretched far past normal, that Uraraka realized the underlying tone of what she just said. Somehow, she's picked up a bad habit of putting her foot in her mouth everytime they're together. She waved her hands wildly, mouth open, trying to form an explanation and failing.
"It's fine-" His head was down, focusing on some indent in the table as if it was the most fascinating thing ever.
"I just meant the class has each other. I didn't mean-"
"Yeah alright-"
"I mean of course we support each other!" Uraraka continues on, not sure if she was saving this or making it worse somehow, "But I meant everyone not like, me and you together specifically."
"I get it, damn it!" He dragged a hand over his face, threading it through his hair, and rubbing roughly at ears in annoyance as if he could wipe away the blush that painted them. Uraraka bit her inner lip to keep a nervous laugh inside. He looked really cute when he was flustered.
Quietness blankets over them once more. Back to pretending they weren't the most interesting thing in the room to each other.
Uraraka set her leg back in motion, pushing against Bakugo's with intent this time. He allows her to do this for far too long, to the point where Uraraka's about to feign as if she didn't realize she was doing it just for more interaction.
He beats her to it.
His hand shoots out, his palm fully engulfing her knee and a bit of her thigh, squeezing just enough to get her to stop.
"Why the hell are you moving so much."
"Cause we've been in here forever."
"You're not being held hostage Cheeks, you can leave."
"Maybe I don't want to yet." Uraraka shrugged, testing her luck by extending her leg further out to see what he'd do. His hand left her for a moment, hovering so closely she could still feel the heat radiating off it. Slowly, she positioned her leg back into his hold, eyelids flickering lower as he wrapped his hand back around her skin.
"Well you need to sit still."
Uraraka could've listened to him. She decided being difficult was much more fun.
"Make me." Her voice was light, the intended playfulness doing a poor job at hiding just how serious she was. Bakugo's eyes darkened, thumb digging slightly into the flesh on the side of her thigh before he removed his grip from her entirely. She watched as he stood up, a borderline manic grin growing on his face. His gaze dipped to her mouth-split second and she would've missed it-before he leaned towards her.
Her pulse raced.
Bakugo planted an arm firmly on the table, bending down slightly until he was only a few inches away from her. The fire in his eyes held a challenge that she was more than willing to take him up on.
"You don't want me to do that." His voice changed, his curt tone absent and in its place something more feral. A warning danced around the edges of his words that Uraraka wanted to fan the flames of.
"Oh? Why-"
The library door creaked open loudly, followed by a group of familiar voices overlapping. Bakugo's head snapped up towards the sound, red eyes narrowing, only for him to snatch up his bag while Uraraka still sat there feeling breathless.
Then, he was gone.
She turned to see what had driven him away when she was so close to finding out if she laid under his skin the same way he did hers. Red, pointed hair bobbed in her direction before suddenly stopping, no doubt having caught a flash of Bakugo's exit. Uraraka slumped down in her chair, fingers crossed that she wouldn't be noticed.
Internally, she questioned why it mattered if she was noticed.
Across the aisle, Kirishima entered her peripheral. Sero and Kaminari weren't too far off, fooling around near the Non-fiction section. The librarian was gonna leave her desk to strangle them if they didn't stop in the next 10 seconds. Uraraka felt his eyes land on her, lifting her own to watch as he approached.
"Hey Ura! Have you seen Bakugo around? He was supposed to hang with us after class today." The back of her chair creaked as he leaned his large frame on it.
"Yeah he was just in here..." nervousness swirled around her insides, a selfish part of her wanting to keep their time to herself, "We were working on this paper."
Her answer made something behind Kirishima's eyes sparkle.
"I knew he must've had a good reason to bail on us. Look at you guys being studious, you're so cute together."
He's smiling down at her like he's holding a secret. Like one prodding question from her would burst whatever dam of information he's teeming with. Uraraka decides to test the waters.
"Kiri." She starts carefully, turning to face him as she thinks of what to say, "Do you have something to te-"
A crash explodes near a new book display. They both turn to see piles of literature on the floor, Kaminari's legs peeking out from under the carnage while Sero's doubled over in laughter. Uraraka peeks over at the librarian, who's so pissed you could almost see steam flying out of her ears.
"Ooof. Gotta go now but l'll catch you later!" He jogs off, leaving her question to die on her lips. For her to find out the answer on her own.
Logging off, Uraraka's mind returns to Bakugo. How it felt to have him look at her like that, have his hand on her like that.
The one thing she knew for certain, is that she needed to put a name to what she was feeling when it came to Bakugo, and soon. Before these emotions threatened to swallow her up completely.