Chapter Text
The timer that told Ilya it was time to check the test went off, but he didn’t need to look at it. He already knew what it said.
He had been feeling sick for about two weeks now. It came on suddenly and intensely. At first he thought maybe he was getting a stomach bug, then he thought it was stress as the season got underway. All the things he tried telling himself to ignore the truth.
Ilya was pregnant.
The little plus sign on the plastic stick confirmed it. He had snuck off to the store after practice to grab the pregnancy test, then went to the bathroom all the way on the other side of the arena from Ottawa’s locker rooms where he knew no one would walk in on him. He took a deep breath and shoved the test to the bottom of the trash. He couldn’t deal with this right now. He had a game to get to.
“Where’d you get off to?” Troy Barrett said when Ilya returned to the locker room.
“Had to run an errand.”
“You know you can ask Harris to go on a run if it’s getting close to a game.”
“And have you both find out all my business? No thank you.”
Ilya had meant for it to be a joke, but it came out more biting than he wanted. He walked over to his stall where Shane was already dressed and ready.
“Where have you been?” Shane asked. “The game starts in 20 minutes.”
Ilya loved playing on the same team as his husband, but there were moments he could have used a bit more space.
“I had to run out.”
Ilya pushed past Shane and started changing from his practice clothes to his uniform.
“Out?”
“Yes. Out.”
Shane took a step forward and lowered his voice so only Ilya could hear him. There was so much chatter happening around them that they didn’t have to worry.
“Hey, talk to me,” Shane said. “You’ve been weird all week. Are you okay?”
All it took was the sweet compassion in his husband’s voice to turn Ilya’s heart to mush. He suddenly felt guilt in the pit of his stomach. He had been afraid to tell him he might be pregnant, and now he felt bad for worrying him.
“Yes,” Ilya said with a kind smile. “I am okay. Just a little… what is the saying, under the weather?”
Shane smiled. “Yeah. Okay. Maybe we should give the doctor a call tomorrow.”
“Good idea.”
It was a better idea than Shane realized.
Ilya wanted to tell him, he really did. They had talked about having kids. One day. Far in the future, after at least one of them retired. This was all very sudden and unexpected. Ilya wasn’t even sure how he felt about it yet, he couldn’t expect Shane to be.
The team began filing out toward the ice and Ilya followed. He got as far as the arena and stopped short.
The reality of what he was doing hit him all at once. Whether he was ready to accept it or not, there was a tiny life starting to grow inside him. The moment he stepped onto the ice, he’d be putting them in danger. Ilya wasn’t sure how he felt about all this yet, but he knew he didn’t want to do that. He turned around so quickly that Luca Haas crashed right into him.
“Shit. What-“
“I cannot play,” Ilya said before Luca could get another word out.
Ilya stepped out of line and went to find Coach Wiebe. The game was about to start so he’d already be out on the team bench. Ilya didn’t want to create a scene in front of the fans, so he thought it would be a better idea to go back to the locker room and send him a text.
Ilya was so distracted when he stepped into the hall that he didn’t see the venue motor cart speeding in his direction. For a split second, Ilya felt himself collide with something resembling a golf cart.
Then everything went black.
***
When Ilya’s eyes blinked open the next morning, it took a moment for him to realize where he was. He had a pounding headache and his whole body was sore. There was the subtle beeping of machines, distant voices passing in the hall, the sterile smell of a hospital room.
“Ilya.”
Shane’s voice entered his ear and swirled around in his head while his memory of the night before came back in pieces.
All of a sudden, Ilya sat up with a loud gasp. He looked down at his middle, then up at Shane, panicked. His head was spinning and he wasn’t sure how much of it was because of a head injury.
After they got married, Ilya had made Shane his emergency contact and medical proxy. He knew that if anything happened to him, on the ice or otherwise, Shane would be there and he would know Ilya’s wishes if decisions had to be made. A scenario he never imagined was this being the way Shane found out he was pregnant.
“Is the… Am I… Did they…”
Ilya frantically spit the words out in no particular order. His brain couldn’t decide which question to ask first: if the baby was okay, or if Shane knew there was a baby. Thankfully, Shane seemed to see through the panic in his eyes. He reached out and took Ilya’s hand.
“Baby’s okay.”
Ilya closed his eyes and let out a huge exhale. He felt relief wash over him and in that moment he understood exactly how he felt about the baby. He wanted it more than anything. He opened his eyes and looked at Shane.
“I’m so sorry,” Ilya said, his voice dry.
Shane shook his head. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”
“I am worst husband ever,” Ilya said as tears formed in his eyes. “I can’t believe this is how you found out. I should have told you already. I am so sorry.”
“Ilya, look at me.” He gave Ilya’s hand a little squeeze. “Do I look upset?”
Ilya studied his husband’s face. He was looking at him with kind, soft eyes. There was nothing in them except love.
Ilya shook his head and a tear ran down his cheek. Shane reached up and wiped it away.
“I’m just glad you’re okay. You scared me.”
Ilya let himself exhale again. Shane was right. The important thing was that everyone was okay. Shane reached up and ran his fingers through Ilya’s hair.
“How long have you known?” Shane asked after a while.
“I took test after practice.”
Shane’s mouth curled up into a smile. “You’ve known less than a day and you’re already guilt tripping yourself for not telling me?”
“I suspected for a while. I should have told you right away.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“I… I was not sure how you would react.”
As Ilya said the words he realized what a ridiculous reason it was. Shane loved him more than anything. What had he been so afraid of?
“Tell me now,” Shane said gently. “I want to hear it from you.”
Ilya paused. Saying it out loud was still so scary.
“I am pregnant.”
Shane nodded, the love in his eyes unchanged.
“Is it what you want? To have the baby?”
Ilya felt his other hand float to his belly. He nodded, the tears coming again.
“It is. It really, really is.”
Shane smiled again. He reached up and grazed Ilya’s cheek with the pad of his thumb.
“Good. Because I want that too.”
Ilya felt a swell in chest so great he thought it might set off his heart monitor.
“Really?” he choked out. “You are sure?”
“Very sure.”
Shane leaned in and kissed him. Ilya slid his fingers through Shane’s hair and held him close. His amazing, perfect husband. The love of his life. The father of his unborn child.
Child.
They were about to be parents.
“I love you so much,” Ilya said between kisses.
“I love you too.”
Shane looked down to Ilya’s middle and put a hand on his belly. Ilya put his hand on top of his. They both let the moment sink in, trying to wrap their minds around this wonderful, shocking, overwhelming news. Shane pressed a long kiss to Ilya’s forehead. They were still locked in an embrace when the doctor walked in the room.
“Good morning, Mr. Rozanov,” she said with a friendly smile. “Feeling better this morning?”
“I do not remember how I felt last night.”
“That’s to be expected. You got quite the concussion.” She took out a small light and looked into both of Ilya’s eyes while she spoke. “I’m sure you don’t remember me either. I’m Dr. Porter.”
“Is nice to meet you. Again.”
“Has your husband filled you in?” she asked, glancing at Shane.
“Only that baby is okay,” Ilya said.
“Yes, we ran a few tests,” Dr. Porter said with a kind smile. “We also treated you for a concussion and bruised ribs. You’ll be okay with some rest. When they told me you were a hockey player I figured you got injured, you know, playing hockey.”
Of course Ilya would end up in the hospital for the most embarrassing reason ever.
“I will not be playing hockey for a while now.”
“That’s exactly right,” the doctor said. “Do you know how far along you are?”
Ilya shook his head. “Not very far, I think. I just took test yesterday.”
“Well, would you like to take a look at your baby with an ultrasound?”
Ilya and Shane exchanged an excited smile.
“Yes, please,” Ilya said.
The doctor pulled an ultrasound machine to Ilya’s bedside. Ilya felt Shane take his hand again as they watched Dr. Porter prepare the wand.
“This will just be a bit cold,” she said.
Ilya pulled up his shirt and revealed his flat belly. It was hard to believe what was happening on the other side. The doctor pressed the wand to Ilya’s skin and moved it around. She stared at the screen without saying anything and Ilya started to worry that something was wrong.
“Is everything okay?” Shane asked, getting the same feeling.
“Tell me about your symptoms, Mr. Rozanov,” the doctor said. “How have you been feeling?”
Ilya didn’t like that she ignored Shane’s question.
“Some nausea,” he said quickly. “Is baby okay?”
“Has the nausea been very strong?”
“Yes, very strong. For about two weeks,” he said impatiently. “What is wrong with baby?”
Dr. Porter turned the monitor so they could look at the screen. It was hard to make sense of what they were seeing, big swirling shapes of black and gray. The doctor pointed to the screen and made a circular motion with her finger.
“You see this black space right here? That’s the gestational sac. By the size, I’d say you’re about six weeks along.”
“But everything looks okay?” Shane asked, squeezing Ilya’s hand a little. “Healthy?”
“Oh yes,” the doctor said before pointing to another spot on the screen. “And you see this one here? That’s another gestational sac. Both strong and healthy.”
Ilya and Shane stared at the screen.
“Um… both?” Shane finally said.
“Yes,” the doctor said. “You’re having twins.”
They stared at the screen some more.
“No,” Ilya said firmly. “That is wrong. It cannot be twins.”
The doctor smiled to herself as she put the wand away.
“I know this is quite a shock,” she said. “This is a very common reaction.”
Ilya had just barely gotten his mind around one baby, now suddenly there were two. He was starting to feel very overwhelmed when he felt Shane’s hand on the side of his face. He looked up and saw his husband gazing down at him with love and awe.
“Hey, we can do this,” Shane said softly. “We got this.”
Ilya looked into his husband’s eyes, and he knew they could.